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Post by Skypaw13 on Jun 16, 2020 17:33:43 GMT -5
I get so frustrated with myself sometimes over things I can't control. I'm an extrovert with anxiety. I'm an optimist with depression. I love being around people but get sensory overload from large crowds and loud noises. I'm a walking paradox and it's exhausting |
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Post by twilightfire on Jun 16, 2020 21:22:17 GMT -5
I'm so lonely. I'm stuck at home because of this Covid stuff, and my apartment won't be available until july 20th (I got laid off so I couldnt afford to move any sooner than that). I had been staying with my boyfriend but my mom (who's been abusive, controlling and nasty almost my whole life) harrassed me about coming back to her place. Since we are actually getting along for the first time in years I decided to not let our fragile relationship slip and I went home. My boyfriend came back with me but has work so had to leave and I've been here hundreds of miles away from my friends and things are going south. I feel so alone and lost and I would head back to my boyfriends if it wasnt for the fact I have my cat with me and no cold ac in my car, so I'm not gonna drag her on a 8 hour car ride in the sweltering heat of my car....I'm just so lonely...
Wow that felt really good to get off my chest, this is a good thread 😅
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 16, 2020 23:20:18 GMT -5
I’m glad that this thread helps others! I hope your situation gets better. You’re never alone.
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Post by Sand on Jun 16, 2020 23:23:13 GMT -5
I think a friend of mine may cut me off and I'm not sure how to feel about it.
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 16, 2020 23:27:43 GMT -5
that’s a horrible feeling. so sorry. I recently had that happen to me
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Post by Sand on Jun 16, 2020 23:30:29 GMT -5
I'm sorry :-(. I know the feeling though, it's happened before. It seems that this person here isn't ready to cut me off yet, or so I think.
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 16, 2020 23:36:58 GMT -5
the going back and forth hurts worse than a straightforward decision imo...I hope it works out for you, and that you come out still smiling
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2020 23:41:25 GMT -5
i keep forgetting to take my meds and one of these days i swear im going to suffocate on my paranoia and die. how do i even live a life where i spend every second thinking somebody is about to betray me. what in the goddamn is wrong with my brain.
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Post by Sand on Jun 17, 2020 0:16:46 GMT -5
i keep forgetting to take my meds and one of these days i swear im going to suffocate on my paranoia and die. how do i even live a life where i spend every second thinking somebody is about to betray me. what in the goddamn is wrong with my brain. I'm in the "always forgets their meds" club. I found an app called Medisafe to remind me of when to take my meds and which ones I'm taking because somehow after 10 years I still forget. It's saved me for the past 4 months honestly because missing a dose as an epileptic = hell :/. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm around. |
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 17, 2020 17:35:35 GMT -5
I got a promotion today. I’m a manager now. Really excited and also nervous
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jun 17, 2020 23:17:36 GMT -5
i have felt the panic of anxiety literally non-top for three weeks. every breath, every thought, every second. there is no apparent cause, its just latching onto everything and anything. i'm exhausted. i can't feel any other emotion besides anxiety. no respite, not even for a second, it just won't go away.
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Post by ᴘᴏʟʏᴏɴʏᴍᴏᴜꜱ on Jun 18, 2020 0:10:53 GMT -5
I'm getting really anxious about the end of July. I'll have to quit my full-time job and for some reason my anxiety wants me to think that everything will turn out badly. I'm going to be spending all my savings on school and my car, and its pretty scary. I'm scared to be broke. I wish I could move out.
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 18, 2020 22:44:52 GMT -5
y’all one of my coworkers has always been pushing her luck and all lately but now I’m one of her bosses and she still pushing her luck. not wanting to do work. Attitude. On her phone all the time. I’m just makskdmdndndsnbsdn
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Post by Sand on Jun 18, 2020 23:06:21 GMT -5
y’all one of my coworkers has always been pushing her luck and all lately but now I’m one of her bosses and she still pushing her luck. not wanting to do work. Attitude. On her phone all the time. I’m just makskdmdndndsnbsdn I can relate on a different level. Just... hold on and hang tight. |
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 23, 2020 22:07:07 GMT -5
I’m so tired
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Post by chimken nugget on Jun 23, 2020 22:37:52 GMT -5
i’m just gonna scream for a second
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
thanks for letting me vent
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Post by Skypaw13 on Jun 23, 2020 23:59:05 GMT -5
I haven't exercised like at all since March (when our city shut down). I've also been eating substantially less, so my weight has remained exactly the same as it was pre-quarantine, but I lost whatever fitness I had. Anyway, I just walked 8 blocks down to a local restaurant to have dinner with my mom, and then walked the 8 blocks back to my apartment. Those 8 blocks are pretty much on a vertical cliff face. Going down was fine, if a little hard to stay balanced (I have a permanent limp), but climbing back up was torture. It took me half an hour and now I'm on my couch, chest screaming and head throbbing. Don't worry, I have a glass of water.  |
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Post by mossecho on Jun 24, 2020 4:11:58 GMT -5
I really dislike my weight.
I'm overweight. It's not too bad, but it's still obvious. It's a hard thing to admit but it's true. I just feel like I let myself down. And somehow like I've let other people down, as if anyone else is personally affected by my weight. It's a ridiculous notion but I still cannot get that out of my head. Back to my weight itself, I know some of the underlying problems (mainly that my snacking habits are not good and I really don't exercise anymore), but there have been periods in my life when I worked really hard to fix those and... it just didn't work. I know weight loss is a long process but I tried so hard and just saw no results. It got worse and I would go a long time with absolutely horrible habits (mainly avoiding all meals except dinner, then continuing to avoid meals but snacking unhealthily, then go back to no food but dinner, etc). The worst part was that I was... proud of it? I don't know. Just I loved that empty feeling in my stomach. I liked drinking water and feeling it in my stomach because there was little else there. I remember one day in high school when all I ate that day was a burrito and I was so proud. It felt like some sort of victory, like I was fighting myself and winning.
Problem is that I was doing exactly that. Well, except for the winning part. I was fighting myself, punishing myself. It was never serious (in other words the very restrictive periods never lasted for more than about a week), but I still struggle to recognize how bad that was for me. Yes, I should work on my weight. But I should also work on how I go about it. I want to get better about "it," whatever "it" is (my body, my food habits, idk). I really do. I put an effort to avoid unhealthy snacks and meals, but eventually that always fails. Either I get a taste for chips and ice cream again (in large amounts) or I fall back into skipping meals and smiling when my stomach grumbled.
I hated myself and my body. Really did. I did not know who to talk about it with, how to handle it. I'm afraid that I still don't. I am getting better about it, yes. I am learning not just how to lose weight to be more healthy but how to do that in a healthy weight. Yet still I keep approaching the restrictive habits, the obsessive self-critiques, all of that. I still cannot say I feel comfortable in my body. I am not sure I can even say I don't hate it.
Just hopefully, someday, I can confidently say that I am okay with how I look, how much I weigh, where my health is. Maybe it won't be perfect (almost certainly won't be), but I want to get to the point where I am healthy and content with that health. I know that I'll probably never be completely happy with my body. I just hope that someday I am content with it.
I don't know. I guess my conclusion is just that I am not happy where I am now, but I want to get better and get better in a healthy way.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jun 24, 2020 15:03:15 GMT -5
some lady across the street from my bf's parish is trying to instigate a riot against it in the hope it'll get burned down or something. it's a small church in a low-income hispanic neighborhood and for MONTHS now she's been trying to find any reason to file complaints to get it shut down. she's spreading outright lies on social media about how white people bought and gentrified the church from a poor mexican family when in reality the church belonged to the diocese, which granted it to the FSSP (priestly fraternity) a few years ago because it was run-down and neglected. their congregation is half hispanic (because it's a very Catholic hispanic neighborhood). she's also lying about how parishoners still congregate despite lockdown orders. all this in an attempt to gather angry protestors over lies.
why do people have to be so hateful. i just. i am on the verge of a panic attack.
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Post by showbiz on Jun 26, 2020 13:51:00 GMT -5
vent poem tw for implied cutting and abuse cut yourself for me,
she whispers
let me lick your tears away
fingers interlocked,
how lovely
to be chained to you
to be dragged around the city by you
body desecrated, bloody jester
beloved by all
your heart,
she whispers
mine
slowly, slowly,
blood trickling down.
there’s nothing.
a dark void, a blank space
just a broken toy now,
tossed away, left without instruction
SOMEBODY
i plead
somebody do the same to me
again
and again
until you’re happy |
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jun 26, 2020 22:37:35 GMT -5
I hate hitting plateaus on my weight loss journey it makes me really angry and sad simultaneously
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 3, 2020 14:08:21 GMT -5
my state has just made wearing masks mandatory inside public buildings
I can't wear masks for a legitimate medical reason, but as somebody who is nonconfrontational, I'm worried that people will try to stop me from going in places or yell at me. If I could wear a mask then I would. But I'm afraid the assumption is going to be that I'm a selfish ignorant karen when really that's not the case. Just the idea of going out now is enough to give me pretty bad anxiety
This feels like a stupid thing to be worried about, but I can't help it. I overthink everything.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 3, 2020 14:27:24 GMT -5
my state has just made wearing masks mandatory inside public buildings I can't wear masks for a legitimate medical reason, but as somebody who is nonconfrontational, I'm worried that people will try to stop me from going in places or yell at me. If I could wear a mask then I would. But I'm afraid the assumption is going to be that I'm a selfish ignorant karen when really that's not the case. Just the idea of going out now is enough to give me pretty bad anxiety This feels like a stupid thing to be worried about, but I can't help it. I overthink everything. im in a sort of similar position. i can wear a mask for a little bit, but after a few minutes (or if im just out in the humid heat) it feels like im not getting enough air, even though i actually am, and the resulting claustrophobia triggers my anxiety. im really worried because my uni is prob gonna require masks in the classroom come fall semester. i can probably get a mental health exception but im terrified of social backlash. |
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jul 3, 2020 15:31:43 GMT -5
I feel like crap I want my stomach to stop hurting
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Post by Skypaw13 on Jul 3, 2020 20:05:26 GMT -5
My boyfriend's brother just invited his girlfriend to a party that my boyfriend specifically didn't invite me to because I didn't know the host. (the other girlfriend doesn't know the host or the person the party's for). I'm not too upset about it, because there will be a person there I've been avoiding for three years, but I do feel kind of left out. I want to invite my boyfriend, his brother, and the girlfriend over tomorrow for 4th of July, but my living situation is crazy because of the pandemic (I'm essentially crashing on my mom's couch for the summer). I had already asked dad if I could have a friend spend the night and he said no, so I don't know if he'll be okay with 3 people coming over for dinner or not.
Completely unrelated, apparently I had two "no dollar value" parking citations on "my" car that I abandoned at my university. (It's my dad's car, but the university parking pass on it is in my name-- also, he left it at the school because he lives with my mom and they can only have one car parked where they live). Dad went to go move it to a no-pass-required parking lot and when he got back he said it would probably have to be removed out of said lot by tow truck because it's not safe to drive anymore.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2020 14:09:57 GMT -5
Can we not have a civil war plez. They suck.
Thx.
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Jul 12, 2020 0:32:13 GMT -5
can i get paid time off like god damn im dying out here. i know I just took a vacation but i need more than 3 days chief
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Post by Amber on Jul 31, 2020 21:54:37 GMT -5
It sucks being told that asexuality isn't really a sexuality (not it's fake, but simply because you aren't attracted to anyone it doesn't count) and then when you try to explain the differences between romantic and sexual attraction, getting accused of being "holier than thou" and falling for "stuff maybe up by tumblr/AVEN". I just love it when people I'm close to just invalidate my sexuality like that. Whatever. I'm going to make cookies and see if that helps.
Edit- The cookies did help and it made my coworkers happy when I brought them in.
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