|
|
Post by Saint Ambrosef on Mar 18, 2021 19:40:43 GMT -5
not a serious vent, but something that annoys me: i wish people wouldn't patronize me for not understanding a joke or a reference. no, it's not because i'm "too young" or "too innocent to understand it." i don't get it because i'm just a dumbass lol. so stop being snarky and explain it to me, please? i always feel stupid and a tad embarrassed when someone laughs at me or calls me out for not understanding their apparently superior sense of humor :/ ack. related: when you dont know what something is and people's response is "how do you not know that? wow" and then proceed to not explain |
|
|
|
Post by Sand on Mar 18, 2021 19:43:12 GMT -5
I despise photoshop today because I've created a mutated hand that I need to get rid of after 1.5hrs of work of getting rid of another subject in my photo. I have also put 2 days of work into this photo so :')
well, this mutated hand refuses to fix itself when I use the tools that are meant to fix it. I don't know what to do-- do I ask someone in a photoshop forum, do I google for solutions? do I scratch from scratch and erase the progress I made on the subject?
hhhh.
problem fixed
|
|
Cake
Pheonix
goodbye. I'm leaving the forums (for a while though I might come on here once a month or so)
|
Post by Pheonix on Mar 18, 2021 20:13:29 GMT -5
well... I have advice for all of you, it will sound like a thing you don't want to do, but get a counselor or at least someone to talk to. Oh gee thanks. You know did you ever stop to think some of us already have a therapist that we just can't talk to at any point in time and need to vent in case of an emergency or for outside support? You do know people need to be able to have trusted friends outside of that to rely on for support because as nice as it sounds we can't all be self sufficient 24/7 with perfect emotional regulation? You know that this thread IS literally that kind of place place for someone to be able to talk to about their problems?
Completely unhelpful and kinda rude.
ok, ok I understand, i don't talk to my counselor bout most of the things, but still, no one fricken understands me, meaning that if i say my dad = the devil they will look at me like I'm crazy, but on person understands me but I don't get to talk to him because he is not in any of my classes |
|
|
|
Post by ash on Mar 18, 2021 20:16:20 GMT -5
having a personality disorder moment <3
 |
|
|
|
Post by tallshadowstar on Mar 18, 2021 20:29:15 GMT -5
I'm back at my mom's place until the start of April. My brother is living here too; usually he's fine to be around and I love him, obviously, but god... he can be a real **** when he wants to. Tonight at dinner I pointed out he had a slice of pizza still on his plate. I know he knew that; it was just a banal dumb comment and no one is immune from making them from time to time. I get how that can be annoying, but he decided to mutter "****ing autistic" under his breath in response. Of course I called him on it. I'm autistic and he knows this. It's not a bad word, and I'm not ashamed of myself, but he was using it as a pejorative. Like, really? I say something dumb about pizza and you decide to weaponize my developmental disorder against me? I know all your damn insecurities since you love to vent to me about them, but even when I'm furious and know exactly what I could say to hurt you, I don't. I keep those thoughts in my damn head, because no matter how mad I get in the moment, I know intrinsically that I don't want to hurt you. Why am I not given the same courtesy? I'm not super upset or furious or anything, just deeply disappointed that he chose to say this. I really thought he knew better. Belated update: The day after this happened, when I went down to the kitchen for breakfast my brother was waiting for me and looked very guilty. When he saw me he instantly started apologizing. I hadn't talked to him since the night before when he insulted me, and I genuinely think he was torn up about it based off of how upset he seemed. I forgave him. Anger issues run in our family, and I know from experience that I have a shorter fuse when I'm in a bad mental health spot (which he has been). But he went the extra mile, and he sheepishly produced a bottle of wine from behind his back. He went out and got it because he really wanted to make it up to me. It was still an awful thing to do, but I'm very happy he apologized. That alone shows that he does know better, even if he didn't realize it in the moment. The fact that he got me a gift was a nice surprise on top of that. School has been draining me super badly, and funnily enough, this situation evolved from something I needed to vent about to something that made me smile when I was really stressed. |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2021 8:57:14 GMT -5
man it's lovely having someone in your family rn who's anti-vax
and is constantly judging in the background
and I'm afraid they'll find out when I get vaccinated.
I'm honestly just so angry rn. This is just one of the many things this person has made way more difficult than she has to- and has made difficult for others around her. She should know better. She's in her freakin 90s.
I love her but she's just so, so frustrating. I just wish she could actually have gotten wiser as she's gotten older, but it's the complete opposite. She's nothing but a the-world's-gunna end science is crap my country is communist doomsdayer conspiracy theorist now. And she wasn't always. But maybe she always was and I was seeing her in rose-colored glasses for so long. Idk. I just wish she would have a good attitude for once. She's gunna go down to her grave cursing everyone and anything I swear. Does she want us to remember her fondly?
|
|
|
|
Post by mossecho on Mar 21, 2021 2:59:31 GMT -5
today I didn't count my calories. well, I started to do so in the morning, but I recycled that piece of paper and haven't written anything down since. I still had the numbers going in my head for each individual thing I ate, but through the great power of "I Can't Do Addition In My Head Because I Am Burnt Out From Finals And Cannot Bother With Math," I have no idea how many calories I ate today. it feels good. it feels really, really good.
my goal is to make it through the next eat without counting my calories. even better than that, I think I'll actually manage it. (:
EDIT: managed to go a full week without calorie counting! so unbelievably proud of myself. I am still overly critical of my eating, but not quantifying anything is really helping. my new goal is to go two weeks without counting any calories! looking forward to getting better
|
|
ℊℓоω
ɴᴏ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴇxᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴏɴ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ʙᴜsɪɴᴇss
|
Post by ℊℓоω on Mar 22, 2021 22:57:52 GMT -5
TW: gun violence and death
There was a mass shooting in Boulder today. It happened at the grocery store I was frequenting mere months ago. It's the grocery store my brother, his girlfriend, several of my cousins, and many of my friends go to. It is in a nice, affluent neighborhood. No one where would ever expect to encounter violence. The people who were there were buying food, getting vaccines, and going about their every day lives. Thankfully everyone close to me is safe, but the identities of those who died have not been released yet. I don't know if any of the victims are classmates, professors, or neighbors. My little cousin's roommate was working in a restaurant next door and they were in lockdown for hours. When she returned home, they had a strange knock on the door and they all hid in closets because they were so scared. They're all okay, but I know everyone in my circle is very shaken.
Angry rant: Six days ago, Boulder lifted a weapons ban. I'm so angry and sad that this is still f'ing happening in this country. There are no excuses not to pursue comprehensive gun control. I'm so sick of people crying about "tHeIR fReeDomS." I couldn't care less if they enjoy using semi-automatic guns at shooting ranges. I don't care about their antiquated notions of liberty. The people who die every year from mass shootings, suicides, and homicides are worth so much more than stupid hobbies and contrived notions of rights. What about the rights of the lives lost? And one of the first people who died was an armed police officer. I know some people on this sub are probably pro-gun and I know your intentions are good. I just wish weapons and violence were not so deeply engrained in american dna. Other prosperous nations don't deal with this.
Maybe this is too heavy to post on this forum. Sorry if it upset anyone, just feeling sad and shaken.
|
|
|
|
Post by ✲ριкαƒυєу✲ on Mar 23, 2021 0:47:55 GMT -5
I want to die.
And no one cares.
|
|
Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
|
Post by Leapkit on Mar 23, 2021 1:43:10 GMT -5
I want to die. And no one cares. I love you very much and I care. Although I don't really have the emotional energy to help you I want you to know that you're very important to me and I wouldn't deal very well with losing another close friend so soon. You matter. |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2021 12:07:23 GMT -5
I want to die. And no one cares. I know we haven't talked much but you are honestly one of the nicest people I've met. I for one would care if you died. If I had to take a bet I wouldn't be the only one. Though I know that believing people care is easier said than done so I'm not going to try pressuring you into believing me that I care or that other people care. If anyone makes you feel like you don't matter then they can go eat a bag of rotten deviled eggs because I think you're incredible and anyone who doesn't see that is a blind idiot. |
|
Bisexual
ratvich
um cheesed to meet you?
|
Post by ratvich on Mar 24, 2021 15:20:33 GMT -5
damn i forgot i had a chem test today </333 i hope i passed T^T
|
|
Pansexual
rosetherosey
Your daily reminder that ily and you're beautiful you wonderful human being!
|
Post by rosetherosey on Mar 24, 2021 15:32:37 GMT -5
I feel like I'm not good enough. No matter what I do, somebody get's mad. No matter what I do, someone refuses to accept me. No matter what I do I feel worthless. My family is unaccepting that I like girls, my friends are unaccepting that I like girls. Nobody cares what I'm doing because everything is always about them. It feels like nobody would miss me if I was gone. Why can't I just be normal. People always ask me "why do you not talk to anyone?" and then go around and say "it's a sin for you to like girls" like what the frick. When I talk about my dreams and what I want to do with my life they always say "that wont work, you can't sustain yourself on that, you're not good at that" and they want me to be a doctor or something like that. I'm sorry my family kinda just isn't the best one in the world. That's what I get for being an lbtq+ member with depression in a small suburban town (not like I could choose anyway). Sometimes I just want to die.
|
|
Cake
Pheonix
goodbye. I'm leaving the forums (for a while though I might come on here once a month or so)
|
Post by Pheonix on Mar 24, 2021 16:17:24 GMT -5
my mom just wants me to do what she says but when I do she always points out a mistake. then when I make a mistake she huffs about it and she either gets angry or has a long talk. she just yelled at me for not doing what she said. then at school, the teachers are talking about how our parents love us so much and we should do better and I'm over here thinking "why do they even talk about this stuff and make me want to run away".
|
|
|
|
Post by ᴡɪɴᴅʏᴛᴜʀᴛʟᴇ/Meadowrunner on Mar 25, 2021 17:53:29 GMT -5
My family doesn't trust me, nor does some of my less-close friends. Why? Because they think I'm faking something pretty serious. When I was six or seven, I pretty much had all of the bratty traits. I was an attention seeker, when I didn't get what I wanted I would cry and complain until my parents couldn't stand me anymore and just gave me the item I asked for. So, looking back at it now, I'm just cringing so hard. But, that's not part of the story. Anyways, there was a forum I was on for a while as a child, and I wasn't getting any attention at all. So what did I do? Well, I faked having cancer, and my parents found out about it. That was past me, though. Not future me, future me doesn't like the spotlight. Anyways, they grounded me for faking something I didn't have on a website they didn't even know existed. So they blocked the website, but blocking it wouldn't work anyways, because the website was taken down due bots and trollers, too many account deletions, moderators locking threads for no reason, and so many users and alternate accounts advertising their sites. Now that I'm older, I've started to stay up way past eight which used to be my bedtime when i was a lot younger. Now, they think I don't actually have sleep paralysis even though it's the truth, it's fine if nobody believes me anyways, because at least I have myself to believe and I can just search the internet for ways to avoid sleep paralysis, right?
|
|
|
|
Post by Shadowflight on Mar 25, 2021 18:03:12 GMT -5
right
|
|
|
|
Post by ᴡɪɴᴅʏᴛᴜʀᴛʟᴇ/Meadowrunner on Mar 25, 2021 18:40:57 GMT -5
yeah...
|
|
Bisexual
ratvich
um cheesed to meet you?
|
Post by ratvich on Mar 27, 2021 9:02:06 GMT -5
nooo haha no delusions dont act up ahha nooo ur so sexy,,, ma'am i cant b having a breakdown while taking an ap mock test PLEASE </3
|
|
|
|
Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Mar 27, 2021 20:54:27 GMT -5
I feel like I’m horrible at my job. I’ve gotten 2 promotions in under 3 months. My boss wants me to go get another promotion in the next month or so. But lately I feel like I can’t do anything right. Like I’m not doing good enough. I’m ready for school to be over. I have one semester left after this one. It’s so close but so far. And I’m just ready to be done with school and living my life/making money. I need like 5 clones.
|
|
|
|
Post by ᴡɪɴᴅʏᴛᴜʀᴛʟᴇ/Meadowrunner on Mar 28, 2021 18:27:12 GMT -5
I feel like I’m horrible at my job. I’ve gotten 2 promotions in under 3 months. My boss wants me to go get another promotion in the next month or so. But lately I feel like I can’t do anything right. Like I’m not doing good enough. I’m ready for school to be over. I have one semester left after this one. It’s so close but so far. And I’m just ready to be done with school and living my life/making money. I need like 5 clones. I'm sorry you feel that way. I have a part-time job at a cafe, and it's a lot of stress handling both school and working at a cafe, I also feel like I have high expectations just set for me. |
|
|
|
Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Mar 28, 2021 19:02:19 GMT -5
I'm just struggling with school. I hate online classes and yet thats pretty much all my school provides even though the much larger university in the same city is open normally. you can't go to the gym because you gotta have a reservation, most of witch are already taken weeks ahead of time, and I don't have any help with my math class in which the work is completely different from the textbook.
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2021 23:00:21 GMT -5
You ever feel super lonely but you're also too emotionally exhausted to really hold a conversation with anyone? That's me right now and it sucks
|
|
|
|
Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Mar 28, 2021 23:06:31 GMT -5
feels
|
|
|
|
Post by Numquam on Mar 29, 2021 22:00:37 GMT -5
Why did the runners of this program think that cramming 2 years worth of schooling into a 6 month program was a good idea
Just gotta hang in there for 3 more months
|
|
Pansexual
rosetherosey
Your daily reminder that ily and you're beautiful you wonderful human being!
|
Post by rosetherosey on Mar 30, 2021 22:31:12 GMT -5
I dunno man life just kinda sucks right now for me. Desperately need a therapist for my mental health but I feel to much like an attention seeker to speak up and say anything. Everyone asking me if I'm fine all the time because I've gone pale, cry in the bathroom, and don't socialize anymore even with my best friends yet I just keep saying I am and they believe it. Stuck in a pretty bad situation but hey I brought this on myself.
|
|
Cake
Pheonix
goodbye. I'm leaving the forums (for a while though I might come on here once a month or so)
|
Post by Pheonix on Mar 30, 2021 23:35:45 GMT -5
my mom is always complaining about how I did things wrong, I think she doesn't even want me anymore. She asks me all the time why my grades are dropping and I'm getting very tests and her always harping on me. I don't even have time for myself anymore it's all about what she says or school. I'm trying to bring my grades up and do everything she says but I just can't do everything.
|
|
|
|
Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Mar 30, 2021 23:51:03 GMT -5
I'm a very upbeat person by nature and by talking to me, most people would think I'm super optimistic because that's how I defend myself and it's honestly taking its toll on me. I hate school with a pation but still do it anyways because I don't want to be broke in 30 years, and I have never really enjoyed it. I was bullied a lot growing up and that didn't really stop until my junior year of highschool when I became one of the stars of the football team. I kind of felt like I had to be a jack of all trades to fit in. I played football and listened to rap music, etc. When I was around the athletic people, I did chorus and performing arts and honestly found myself the most relaxed there, but there's no way I'm ever gonna make it in show business. I could talk video games and played a lot just to get away from everything, and even know a LOT about politics and would often talk circles around people when those situations came up. (Not shouting matches though. No respect to people who have to talk over everyone and don't let the opposing side get a word in.) I feel like all those different aspects of me worked in highschool, but now that I'm in college, all those different pieces of me are just dragging me down. I feel like I can't think at times and find myself dreading waking up in the morning. I have a couple friends from highschool I still keep in contact with, but both of them moved out of town so I hardly ever get to hang out with them and it just feels like everything that I want from life is so far away. Like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm watching it get dimmer and dimmer and I'm afraid that one day, that light will be gone and I won't be able to stop it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Theblazepanzer24 on Mar 31, 2021 11:26:06 GMT -5
FEDDEXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!
Just...Fedex in general. Used to like them because unlike the UPS I could actually get in touch with customer support when they mis-deliverer my packages. Now trying to to get ahold of them is like trying to walk on a floor made of cactus spines. This time they delivered it to an address that is nothing like mine own. And the address on my package is 100% correct, whoever is delivering these packages clearly isn't paying attention.
Not my box numbers by the way, but imagine if the delivery was meant for 5869 and it was delivered to 5377. That is how badly they messed up this delivery. At least my local post office is receiving my mis-delivered packages and putting them into my box, but the Post office shouldn't have to cover for Fedexs screw-ups.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sand on Apr 2, 2021 23:23:11 GMT -5
is there a point in this week I won't seize during the day and night?
would love to know
|
|
Cake
Pheonix
goodbye. I'm leaving the forums (for a while though I might come on here once a month or so)
|
Post by Pheonix on Apr 3, 2021 18:15:18 GMT -5
my mom keeps bringing things up that happened so long ago and keeps blaming things on me. She is always saying for me to do stuff on time but I just have too much to do. Whenever I try to do something to make her happy, it always ends up that she gets mad and starts yelling, she always says bad words to me and that I should stop being lazy, stupid, and a brat. Sometimes I feel like I want to die, but I only stay here because of my friends and that I am wanted somewhere.
|
|
