vent thread 4 all

I probably have a concussion again. I shouldn’t be on screens right now. I HATE THIS. This is my third concussion in 4 years. 

I don’t like being in a polyamorous relationship, it’s just kind of exhausting. But if I want to be with my fiancee for the rest of my life and NOT be polyamorous, then that means I have to suppress my homosexual desires for the rest of my life :/

green/yellow (advice or validation like please I'm still having thoughts about being a burden)

Dude, I just suddenly feel like a large amount of unhappiness. I have been snapping often at people and now I caused the event of ruining a good-term relationship with two people and now I just feel guilty. Now one of the people said that it was my fault and I should apologize to them.

Here's the thing: I'm a middle schooler. The friend is a middle schooler, but the other person and their group are all upper/high schoolers. I'm good at chatting with 9th/10th graders, I have good terms with almost all of them, including the other person, but I am HEAVILY socially anxious and I easily crack and break under pressure. I feel like I ruined my friendship with this friend (not the high schooler) and they were pestering me about it yesterday and I just blew up at them, and they yelled back at me.

They threatened to remove me from our class group chat and never add me back, which they did (but I got someone to add me back) and I'm starting to believe that this friend is turning toxic.

... The only positive thing I have to say is that one of my friends who I thought was a little apathetic (they are narcissistic on SOME DEGREE) found out about the messages the friend in question sent, and came to comfort me. That's when I learned, I had a friend I can go to.

By the way, this all took place yesterday and today.

dude literally ilysm /p thanks so much for the reassurance ^^

homework, so much homework. hassle to log on, and limited time all contribute to that. I asked my crush out at home coming and haven't gotten a response, and one of my closest friends started ignoring me and then straight up lied about me and started hating me for no reason and they won't tell me why, I had my first ever anxiety attack and my friend had to physically slap the pencil I was about to stab my neck with out of my hand so that's fun.

I feel so lonely like can someone just care

I feel like this is hard but you're valid in however you choose to approach this. If you still endure whatever he throws at you for the sake of your siblings, that's a very good thing for you to do. If you decide that it would hurt you too much and you need to prioritize your own safety and mental health because you're not emotionally prepared for your dad to act like that, that's also fine. It won't mean you love your siblings any less if you feel like you can't manage and he pushes you too far.

So I go to the store for some groceries after work. Nothing major. Just needed some toilet paper, paper towels, and laundry detergent. Store shelves are empty. No milk. Bottled water also low. And only one pack of toilet paper. I thought maybe another hurricane was in the forecast, so I asked the cashier ringing me up if there was. She said just the storm in the Gulf (which is not a threat at the moment) and things were like this due to dock workers being on strike. They’ve only been on strike for 2 days! She wasn’t concerned though because they still had stuff in the back that would be put out tomorrow.

I guess we’re repeating 2020 now with toilet paper being hoarded. 😒 Not looking forward to my bigger trip to the store later this week.

I’ve heard similar things about store stocks being low from my in-laws in TN and I think it has way more to do with Helene than the strike, since it seems to be an issue only in that region. I was just at the store yesterday and there was no stocking issues at all (gulf coat state here), and my understanding is that a lot of retailers have pretty big stockpiles these days because of the covid supply chain scare. So my guess it has a lot more to do with how many routes in and out of that region are closed and making restocking difficult.

If you ever figure out how to turn a crush off let me know because same hat.

As long as you aren't putting yourself back into a position where she can hurt you again though. Because that part isn't worth it and you deserve real love from someone who cares about you equally.

White

Sort of half disagree there. No amount of self love will ever change lack of social support and belonging. Humans are social creatures and need that support to really thrive and people (not you, in general as a pattern) should stop putting the blame on individuals and telling them something is wrong with them or to just accept themselves. That kind of thinking just makes people feel that not getting the support is their fault and if they deserved it it would be there.

Source: my own experiences and the fact that I NEVER got better until I finally had social support that was willing to step up where everyone else had always failed me. It's easier to not feel alone when people stop ignoring your existence.

At that point its a loop. I didnt ever think i was the problem until people started telling me to accept myself, and then I started wondering what part they thought i wasn't accepting of and what they saw that i didnt and *started* thinking it was my fault because people brushed me off that way instead of giving me what i needed.