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Post by rabbit on Jun 26, 2024 18:17:30 GMT -5
I hate when people expect me to direct or spell it out to them exactly what to do when I’m busy trying to do my own complicated shit. Like research beforehand. You’ve got a brain given to you, use it.
I just wish more people were taught to be more resourceful about figuring out shit on their own rather than constantly relying on other people to tell them what to do.
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Post by Quill on Jul 1, 2024 11:28:59 GMT -5
SHIT. I have come to the realization that I am a gay man. I thought I was in the clear after being on testosterone for a few years and still finding women attractive. But over the past year my attraction to men has kept increasing and my attraction to women decreasing, until one day I woke up and realized that not only am I exclusively attracted to men, but that the label of gay man makes me feel comfortable in a way that no label ever has. It’s an amazing feeling—BUT—I am engaged to a woman whom I consider my soulmate but to whom I no longer feel sexually/romantically attracted. And it sucks so bad. I still want to spend my life with her, but I feel like a monster for not being able to fulfill the promise of our engagement, which implicitly entails a lifelong romantic relationship.
I’m not going to do anything about it until I talk things over extensively with my therapist. I want to make sure this isn’t just a phase or anything. But I needed to tell someone, even if it’s people on the internet.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 1, 2024 13:41:57 GMT -5
SHIT. I have come to the realization that I am a gay man. I thought I was in the clear after being on testosterone for a few years and still finding women attractive. But over the past year my attraction to men has kept increasing and my attraction to women decreasing, until one day I woke up and realized that not only am I exclusively attracted to men, but that the label of gay man makes me feel comfortable in a way that no label ever has. It’s an amazing feeling—BUT—I am engaged to a woman whom I consider my soulmate but to whom I no longer feel sexually/romantically attracted. And it sucks so bad. I still want to spend my life with her, but I feel like a monster for not being able to fulfill the promise of our engagement, which implicitly entails a lifelong romantic relationship. I’m not going to do anything about it until I talk things over extensively with my therapist. I want to make sure this isn’t just a phase or anything. But I needed to tell someone, even if it’s people on the internet. You might want to look up other forms of attachment and relationships, if you havent. Maybe it doesn't have to be over and you can re-assess boundaries to a queerplatonic relationship. Bonds like that are hard to come by. |
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Post by Quill on Jul 1, 2024 14:07:11 GMT -5
SHIT. I have come to the realization that I am a gay man. I thought I was in the clear after being on testosterone for a few years and still finding women attractive. But over the past year my attraction to men has kept increasing and my attraction to women decreasing, until one day I woke up and realized that not only am I exclusively attracted to men, but that the label of gay man makes me feel comfortable in a way that no label ever has. It’s an amazing feeling—BUT—I am engaged to a woman whom I consider my soulmate but to whom I no longer feel sexually/romantically attracted. And it sucks so bad. I still want to spend my life with her, but I feel like a monster for not being able to fulfill the promise of our engagement, which implicitly entails a lifelong romantic relationship. I’m not going to do anything about it until I talk things over extensively with my therapist. I want to make sure this isn’t just a phase or anything. But I needed to tell someone, even if it’s people on the internet. You might want to look up other forms of attachment and relationships, if you havent. Maybe it doesn't have to be over and you can re-assess boundaries to a queerplatonic relationship. Bonds like that are hard to come by. Thank you. I'm hoping we can continue our relationship as queerplatonic partners, but we'll see what happens. |
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Post by Quill on Jul 3, 2024 14:55:40 GMT -5
SHIT. I have come to the realization that I am a gay man. I thought I was in the clear after being on testosterone for a few years and still finding women attractive. But over the past year my attraction to men has kept increasing and my attraction to women decreasing, until one day I woke up and realized that not only am I exclusively attracted to men, but that the label of gay man makes me feel comfortable in a way that no label ever has. It’s an amazing feeling—BUT—I am engaged to a woman whom I consider my soulmate but to whom I no longer feel sexually/romantically attracted. And it sucks so bad. I still want to spend my life with her, but I feel like a monster for not being able to fulfill the promise of our engagement, which implicitly entails a lifelong romantic relationship. I’m not going to do anything about it until I talk things over extensively with my therapist. I want to make sure this isn’t just a phase or anything. But I needed to tell someone, even if it’s people on the internet. You might want to look up other forms of attachment and relationships, if you havent. Maybe it doesn't have to be over and you can re-assess boundaries to a queerplatonic relationship. Bonds like that are hard to come by. Thanks again for your support, Leap. So I ended up coming out to her, and it turns out she's pretty sure she's a lesbian and is totally happy pursuing a life partnership with me in a queerplatonic manner. I had a feeling that she might be open to it because she's a very openminded person that way, but I can't believe it went so well. We joked that explaining the train of our relationship and respective sexuality/gender journeys would require a PowerPoint presentation. Obviously, we still need to work out the exact boundaries moving forward, but I'm confident that our relationship is not critically endangered due to my homosexuality. |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 3, 2024 15:38:43 GMT -5
You might want to look up other forms of attachment and relationships, if you havent. Maybe it doesn't have to be over and you can re-assess boundaries to a queerplatonic relationship. Bonds like that are hard to come by. Thanks again for your support, Leap. So I ended up coming out to her, and it turns out she's pretty sure she's a lesbian and is totally happy pursuing a life partnership with me in a queerplatonic manner. I had a feeling that she might be open to it because she's a very openminded person that way, but I can't believe it went so well. We joked that explaining the train of our relationship and respective sexuality/gender journeys would require a PowerPoint presentation. Obviously, we still need to work out the exact boundaries moving forward, but I'm confident that our relationship is not critically endangered due to my homosexuality. I'm honestly so relieved and happy for you both. Also i would read that powerpoint, it sounds like A Time. |
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Post by lazzylake on Jul 8, 2024 7:04:41 GMT -5
Hurricane is passing through <3 don't I love having nosebleeds and headaches and panic attacks because of changes in atmospheric pressure!! /sarcasm
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 8, 2024 19:48:41 GMT -5
How am I ever going to learn to drive when I can’t get behind the wheel without having a panic attack??????
A lot of people my age are finishing college and may already have a job or be living with a partner and doing functional adult things and I can’t even think about driving without feeling physically ill. I don’t want to be dependent on someone to go anywhere for the rest of my life !!!!!!
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Post by whiteflight on Jul 10, 2024 2:06:54 GMT -5
Welp I'm getting really annoyed at my mother again. She really wants me to have children so when I grow up to be her age I can "have my children take care of me" when really she just wants grandkids. She had her first child when she was 17 and told us while we were growing up to never have kids until we finish school, she even mocked two of our female cousins because they got pregnant before they could go to college in the past. Now she's telling me that I should have got pregnant when I was 16 when I was with my ex. I keep telling her that times have changed, and I that I wouldn't be able to handle having a child while still in school, because when I was 16 that was when my seizures started. She brushed off what I said and started lecturing me to find a boyfriend, get married, and have kids.
I really hate how she only talks to me about this when yet my sister is dating someone right now and they do the naughty stuff. They aren't even married yet, but my mother will never talk to my sister about having kids. I just want my mom to stop with this talk, I know that she's worried about me, but this isn't what you should say to your child at all.
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Post by rabbit on Jul 18, 2024 16:14:57 GMT -5
To the people that are behind you that honk the split second a light turns green or that you’ve stopped to make a turn, GFY.
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Post by Quill on Jul 19, 2024 6:58:31 GMT -5
I have started reacting to almonds again. My diet is already so limited, and it’s becoming nearly impossible for me to eat healthy due to allergies and pickiness. I have been living off sugar and restaurant food. Almonds were one way for me to get protein and healthy fat, and now that option is off the table again.
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Asexual
#8B0000
Name Colour
🍄🎶✨Brambleheart✨🎶🍄
Sorcerer Supreme
thank you kate cary
Pronouns: She/her, they/them
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Post by 🍄🎶✨Brambleheart✨🎶🍄 on Jul 19, 2024 18:11:58 GMT -5
code: white
after an emotional roller coaster of yesses and nos i cant go to the meetup. "its okay" i say, trying not to cry or scream into a pillow. why am i so upset? this is a literal nothing issue compared to other things going on. i shouldn't be nearly crying.
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Asexual
#8B0000
Name Colour
🍄🎶✨Brambleheart✨🎶🍄
Sorcerer Supreme
thank you kate cary
Pronouns: She/her, they/them
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Post by 🍄🎶✨Brambleheart✨🎶🍄 on Jul 20, 2024 10:14:20 GMT -5
i have no idea whether i am feeling anger or disappointment at not being able to go to the meetup. if there was ANY, A N Y other circumstance, i could have gone. but no. its starting to consume me. every thought o have reminds me of how i cant go. and i know i should be happy. happy that my aunt is able to visit my cousin before he deploys. happy that other people get to go. but no. im not mad at my aunt, but im mad that she was pigeonholed into this weekend because my cousin refuses to visit her himself. i shouldn't be, but im envious and maybe a bit jealous of everyone who gets to go. nothing against them personally. this is the kind of thing i had been hoping for since i was a kid. the one time i would go out of my way to socialize with people, when such a situation never happens. im selfish for being this upset. but i am and it makes me such a bad person.
i can just hear my dad's voice, "this is why you need to learn how to drive". but. have a fear of it that makes just thinking about it a one way trip to panic attack town. i know i cant rely on anyone but still.
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Post by Lizard 🦎 on Jul 21, 2024 23:23:48 GMT -5
codes: purple, orange, green
my parents are so so frustrating
like somehow it's a demand if i ask my dad to not yell at me when he's angry at me
and my mom is so manipulative too it's so tiring interacting with them
my whole family dynamic is pretty dysfunctional and i want to fix it but at the same time i really don't want to be around them at all
it's all weird and complicated because i feel so jealous of people who have really close relationships with their parents and people who eat dinner with their parents and people who watch tv shows and stuff with their parents
my family doesn't do any of that
and yet it's so uncomfortable for me to do these things sometimes
plus on sundays my dad gets so upset if we make him late for church but i really want to stop going entirely, so many people there are so touchy without your permission and i'm really not religious at all
but i can't tell him that because he obviously won't understand
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Post by dahliadove - #1 nightpelt fan on Jul 23, 2024 2:21:08 GMT -5
code: white
Yeah its wraps they bumped up my antidepressant dosage after only a month of being on them
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 23, 2024 8:09:20 GMT -5
i am tired
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Post by kitters on Jul 23, 2024 15:44:01 GMT -5
codes: purple, orange, green my parents are so so frustrating like somehow it's a demand if i ask my dad to not yell at me when he's angry at me and my mom is so manipulative too it's so tiring interacting with them my whole family dynamic is pretty dysfunctional and i want to fix it but at the same time i really don't want to be around them at all it's all weird and complicated because i feel so jealous of people who have really close relationships with their parents and people who eat dinner with their parents and people who watch tv shows and stuff with their parents my family doesn't do any of that and yet it's so uncomfortable for me to do these things sometimes plus on sundays my dad gets so upset if we make him late for church but i really want to stop going entirely, so many people there are so touchy without your permission and i'm really not religious at all but i can't tell him that because he obviously won't understand I relate so hard man (except for the last paragraph). I'm part of the "don't really care if I never see my parents again but would also feel supremely guilty if I didnt" club. I also keep seeing ppl with great relationships w their parents and I'm like wow would have been nice.... |
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Aroace
🎄ᦓρ꠸ᥴꫀᠻꪖꪀᧁ🎅
if you need me ill be listening to sweater weather by the neighborhood on repeat
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Post by 🎄ᦓρ꠸ᥴꫀᠻꪖꪀᧁ🎅 on Jul 26, 2024 22:01:13 GMT -5
I just really need to get this off my chest TW: Mentions of self harm and su!cidal thoughts One of my friends is cutting herself and I’m so scared and horrified that I might loose her and I don’t know what to do and we had a rocky past so I’m scared that she might commit and I’ll forever feel guilty that we never properly made up and stuff. I’m just so scared bc she has suicidal thoughts and I really don’t to loose her it would break me |
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Post by dahliadove - #1 nightpelt fan on Jul 28, 2024 7:05:23 GMT -5
my friends suck and im mad at my best friend
"i'm worried about you because you got diagnosed with depression and are medicated now! we should hang out so i can get you out the house more and spend quality time with you!" proceeds to have 2 whole parties without me (every single one of my friends was there across multiple friend groups not a single person messaged me except my "best friend" to send me videos of the party i wasnt at) and then ignore all my messages because hes hanging out with his cool other friends at the moment . literally sending messages in the groupchat not even opening my messages. he probably half swiped and chose to ignore them anyways knowing him
thank you to my big friend group for showing zero support to me during every single one of my hardships including but not limited to my dad literally getting cancer and dying, my mum medically neglecting me, my strained relationship with everyone in my family, the shaming of my appearance, also getting diagnosed with depression and having my dosage doubled in a month. yeah thanks guys for saying "ok" when i told you all of that and thanks to the two people out of my what. 40 friends . that said "im here if you need anything" which turned out to be a lie because they ignore my messages when i need something and have big hangouts without me and send videos of them having fun to me like oh. thanks .
they've had like 8 parties in the past month and the single one i went to was because i was invited last minute. they literally forgot to invite me and only remembered halfway through the night of the actual party. invites were sent out 2 weeks prior to that night. feels so good knowing that all my friends forget about me when im not there an then pretend to care about my mental health but ignore me at every single given opportunity. thank you to my friend group for that big collective effort to get me out of the house by. ignoring me and leaving me out of every friend group hangout. and they wonder why i barely come to school . when i get there i just get treated like shit by my friends anyways
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Aroace
🎄ᦓρ꠸ᥴꫀᠻꪖꪀᧁ🎅
if you need me ill be listening to sweater weather by the neighborhood on repeat
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Post by 🎄ᦓρ꠸ᥴꫀᠻꪖꪀᧁ🎅 on Jul 28, 2024 22:50:43 GMT -5
my friends suck and im mad at my best friend "i'm worried about you because you got diagnosed with depression and are medicated now! we should hang out so i can get you out the house more and spend quality time with you!" proceeds to have 2 whole parties without me (every single one of my friends was there across multiple friend groups not a single person messaged me except my "best friend" to send me videos of the party i wasnt at) and then ignore all my messages because hes hanging out with his cool other friends at the moment . literally sending messages in the groupchat not even opening my messages. he probably half swiped and chose to ignore them anyways knowing him thank you to my big friend group for showing zero support to me during every single one of my hardships including but not limited to my dad literally getting cancer and dying, my mum medically neglecting me, my strained relationship with everyone in my family, the shaming of my appearance, also getting diagnosed with depression and having my dosage doubled in a month. yeah thanks guys for saying "ok" when i told you all of that and thanks to the two people out of my what. 40 friends . that said "im here if you need anything" which turned out to be a lie because they ignore my messages when i need something and have big hangouts without me and send videos of them having fun to me like oh. thanks . they've had like 8 parties in the past month and the single one i went to was because i was invited last minute. they literally forgot to invite me and only remembered halfway through the night of the actual party. invites were sent out 2 weeks prior to that night. feels so good knowing that all my friends forget about me when im not there an then pretend to care about my mental health but ignore me at every single given opportunity. thank you to my friend group for that big collective effort to get me out of the house by. ignoring me and leaving me out of every friend group hangout. and they wonder why i barely come to school . when i get there i just get treated like shit by my friends anyways Virtual hugging rn, my friendships are also kind of shitty right now but I wish you the best with your friends |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 28, 2024 23:21:50 GMT -5
sending love to y'all that are struggling with your friendships. feeling like your friends are turning on you and are no longer genuinely interested in your life/struggles/etc is a really crappy place to be.
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Post by dahliadove - #1 nightpelt fan on Jul 28, 2024 23:30:18 GMT -5
thanks yall <3
my best friend stopped ignoring my messages and spun it on me saying i cant be "spoonfed" the invitations... isnt that literally what an invitation is... if i have to ask to be invited cause they forget that i exist despite being friends with me im not going to the party ??
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 31, 2024 8:21:00 GMT -5
from my experience a lot of friendhips that start saying mean things as a joke are really just testing the waters to see what you'll tolerate from them to just keep you in and tear you down because theyre people who like feeling superior all the time
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 31, 2024 9:23:59 GMT -5
from my experience a lot of friendhips that start saying mean things as a joke are really just testing the waters to see what you'll tolerate from them to just keep you in and tear you down because theyre people who like feeling superior all the time it’s worth having a conversation with them and say “hey the jokes are going too far sometimes and they hurt my feelings” in case they’ve been genuinely unaware of the creep, but how they react will say a lot. if their response is accusing you of being too sensitive or the like, they are not interested in having you as a friend, they just want a punching bag. |
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Post by mintleaf2 on Jul 31, 2024 16:54:59 GMT -5
I just really need to get this off my chest TW: Mentions of self harm and su!cidal thoughts Im so sorry to hear about this. Do you have any mutual friends with a better relationship with her that can help her get help? If not, would you consider reaching out to her and telling her how you feel? She might want the encouragement that people care for her, even with sharing a rocky past. |
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