vent thread 4 all

Any of my fellow biologically female people who are either trans FTM or masculine non-binary get the strong urge to cut your hair and dress masculine during that time of the month? Because I certainly do, and my mom refuses to let me cut my hair or get a haircut. I don’t even ask for a short haircut, I just ask to get it about to my shoulders and she says no. It is literally summer and I have thick, curly/wavy hair. I am heating to death. But all she cares about is how my hair could look poofy or frizzy afterwards. Meanwhile she has her hair cut to her shoulders, so she has no idea what it’s like to have this type of hair. And now I’m on that time of month so my mind has decided that the urge to look more masculine is now at an all time high. I absolutely hate this.

Ngl just cut it. What is she gonna do about it, uncut your hair? I understand it may cause a fight but ultimately its just hair, and it is more uncomfortable or even potentially dangerous to overheat too fast. Regardless of any of the gender stuff she doesn't have to be the one to live with it on her head. And you're past old enough to be making your own fashion and comfort choices.

Sometimes, you gotta be a little "rebellious" because this is your bodily autonomy.

I actually hate living at home. I had such a nice time with my friends the last two days and the ****ing MINUTE I get home my mother starts shit. She asks me cAn We ConVErt The OtHEr RooM As a SewWInG RoOM which is objectively fine but I said no because it's literally freezing down there and I'm tired of being shoved into ****ing cold rooms all the time and I want to work somewhere warm. Then she gets all uppirty because its a mess. To which I pointed out she makes messes too and no I don't want my stuff down there right now because it's winter and it's cold! any so I walk away because she DIDNT SAY ANYTHING and like 5 minutes later my DAD comes out and is all "that was so rude walking away while she was still talking to you." I was like ????? She didn't say anything after that. And he goes on and is like it's rude blah blah blah I was like I. Did. Not. Hear. Anything. After. She. Said. that. I heard nothing. And he said to take my headphones of and I said I wasnt even listening to anything ffs! And then he had a go at me because my car broke down during the week at 8 at night (the altenator is not working. I have to get it towed to a mechanics) When he is alseep by then and I leave at 4 in the morning for work and I needed a car so I borrowed his (that HE DOESNT USE BECAUSE HE IS IN ANOTHER CITY) because I needed to GET TO WORK. Which yes I guess objectively I understand that I should have asked but his car is just sitting there? And whenever I use it I always clean it and refuel it. Like this care LITERALLY just sits in the driveway for WEEKS at a time. I needed to get to work? Like it was kind of an emergency? goddamn what am I supposed to do when people are asleep and I need to get somewhere idk?

My neighbors cat has started catching and eating the little birds I put seed out for. Im really sad about this. I want to keep feeding the birdies (plus it’s a good way to recycle what our parrot doesn’t eat instead of dumping it in the trash) but not if it’s going to put them in danger. It’s frustrating.

I love my job at the pool, but it's hard not to feel frustrated sometimes. Despite having 4+ more years of experience than anyone there, I am still just a lifeguard instead of an assistant manager or manager. Due to changes in the way the staff hierarchy is structured, my level of responsibility/things I'm trusted with has actually gone DOWN. Granted, part of that is my fault: I didn't apply for the manager job in earlier years (which I certainly would have gotten if I'd done so in 2019, 2021 or 2022). In fact, my boss basically offered the position to me a couple of years ago, but I turned it down because I was living too far away. When I did actually apply last year, my boss wanted someone for the position who they thought would stick around for a while, and at that point I thought I would be leaving for Europe within a year. Fair enough. The timing hasn't worked out, and I should have had more confidence to apply earlier. But it's hard not being able to contribute in ways that I know I would excel at, especially since I feel a lot more confident and capable than I did a few years ago. Plus, it's weird and kind of demoralizing to be stuck in the same hierarchical position as fifteen year old newbies, despite the fact that everyone, including the current managers, openly acknowledges me as someone they look up to and trust.

Not sure if I can bring this up to my boss without sounding entitled because I can't in good faith say that I've been wronged or overlooked with regard to my position. I don't even necessarily want to be promoted, I just want to be trusted with more tasks and responsibilities. It's hard because I have a huge emotional investment in this job; I have too much cherished history with the place, and it's my natural tendency to hyperfixate on whatever is taking up a good portion of my waking life.

Currently at the hospital. My back just randomly gave out at home, and had to call 911. I'm in so much pain, and they haven't done anything.

I was given Tylenol and a muscle relaxer. That's it. Neither of which helped.

If you're open to suggestion - there's definitely ways to approach the conversation of wanting more responsibility without sounding like you're complaining if that's something you're worried about. Next time you have a moment with your manager, why not just bring it up? Even a simple phrasing of, 'if you guys need more help, I would love to pick up some more responsibilities here'. You can explain to whatever degree you want that you're more available now since you plan on being in the area.

Given the limited history you've mentioned, from your manager's point of view, she probably assumes that you don't want to be a manager, and won't know that you do unless you bring it up. Do you ever have employee reviews/one-to-ones? If you aren't comfortable with spontaneously bringing it up, you could mention it then.

Did they give her a blood test? This is kinda how my cats were when their thyroid issues first started.

I’m so sick and tired of my mother saying I dress “homeless”. She’s been saying it to me since I was like 10 and it makes me feel uncomfortable. My average school outfit (currently for the summer) is some Jean shorts and a t-shirt that I like, sometimes a tank top instead. I try to look nice by wearing jewelry I enjoy, scrunchies (I wear my hair in a low pony usually), etc. but around the house I wear much more causal clothing. Before I definitely didn’t put effort into my outfits in my early middle school years, however now I personally think I’ve been doing a great job. For the longest time I used to refuse to wear any jeans because of the uncomfortableness, but now I’ve gotten used to it and actually enjoy how they like. I wear perfume and deodorant a lot to make sure I don’t smell. I brush my hair nicely. I style my clothes. What else does she want me to do?? I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m happy with what I wear and she still says I look “homeless”. Like I’m sorry that not everyone shows up to work/school likes it’s a fashion show, geeze.

That's good advice, thanks! I think I will wait it out to see how the summer goes and bring something up at my employee review.

Text color code is white

Spoilered because of talk about injury

i am so damn tired of listening to our neighbors have (very loud) sex.

literally what one of my friends said lol. i don't think we could be that loud if we TRIED though.

said friend also suggested playing the tom and jerry scream effect against the wall at full volume, so i think you would get along

Just failed miserably at a roguelike challenge. Guess who won't touch said roguelike in a long time.