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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 8, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
Open to any response. The following ‘vent’/message is about xenogenders. Ok, so I’m just gonna preface this with the fact that I do not discriminate against anyone other than things that are dangerous (such as zoophilia, p3d0philia, etc.)
I don’t entirely understand xenogenders, and feel like they might be a bit of a stretch, and quite possibly a huge part of the reason so many people dislike the queer and trans community. I am fully accepting of people using other forms of neopronouns such as it/its, ze/zer/zem, xe/xer/xem, etc. but not so much when people say they’re ’star gender’ or ‘cat gender’, and use star/starself, or similar things. I may not have all the info, but what do you guys think? I don’t want to come across as bigoted or disrespectful of how people identify. Imo you don't have to understand people's identities to accept them. All identities are valid, regardless of whether or not you understand why people identify as it. Rejecting identities is a form of invalidation and just leads to more divides within the LGBTQ+ community and can cause bigotry to spread. Alright, I guess that makes sense. I did a bit more research and I am fine with it, but I definitely don’t understand it. I do agree that you don’t have to understand something to accept those who identify with it, so I guess uhhh yeah. |
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Post by rabbit on Apr 8, 2024 12:01:45 GMT -5
It’s been many years since but I’m not handling grief as well as I thought and it’s all destructive to everybody around me. I wish I didn’t hurt people over stupid emotional breakdowns.
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Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 8, 2024 20:39:55 GMT -5
Ok, so I’m just gonna preface this with the fact that I do not discriminate against anyone other than things that are dangerous (such as zoophilia, ****philia, etc.) I don’t entirely understand xenogenders, and feel like they might be a bit of a stretch, and quite possibly a huge part of the reason so many people dislike the queer and trans community. I am fully accepting of people using other forms of neopronouns such as it/its, ze/zer/zem, xe/xer/xem, etc. but not so much when people say they’re ’star gender’ or ‘cat gender’, and use star/starself, or similar things. I may not have all the info, but what do you guys think? I don’t want to come across as bigoted or disrespectful of how people identify. why do you need to understand it to respect them or not.
how can you use neopronouns and be interested in otherkin but then still feel the need to have to "get" someone elses identity for them to be valid?
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 8, 2024 20:43:10 GMT -5
Ok, so I’m just gonna preface this with the fact that I do not discriminate against anyone other than things that are dangerous (such as zoophilia, ****philia, etc.) I don’t entirely understand xenogenders, and feel like they might be a bit of a stretch, and quite possibly a huge part of the reason so many people dislike the queer and trans community. I am fully accepting of people using other forms of neopronouns such as it/its, ze/zer/zem, xe/xer/xem, etc. but not so much when people say they’re ’star gender’ or ‘cat gender’, and use star/starself, or similar things. I may not have all the info, but what do you guys think? I don’t want to come across as bigoted or disrespectful of how people identify. why do you need to understand it to respect them or not.
how can you use neopronouns and be interested in otherkin but then still feel the need to have to "get" someone elses identity for them to be valid?
Sorry sorry sorry- I think I may have phrased some of that stuff wrong, in another post I tried to clarify that I researched a bit more after I posted it, and that I don’t think anyone needs to understand something to be able to support it. I do support xenogenders, and I didn’t mean to come across as being discriminatory. I probably should have made another post after that or edited it to let users know that I looked more into it, and also that my tone may have been perceived differently than intended. |
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Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 8, 2024 20:51:41 GMT -5
why do you need to understand it to respect them or not.
how can you use neopronouns and be interested in otherkin but then still feel the need to have to "get" someone elses identity for them to be valid?
Sorry sorry sorry- I think I may have phrased some of that stuff wrong, in another post I tried to clarify that I researched a bit more after I posted it, and that I don’t think anyone needs to understand something to be able to support it. I do support xenogenders, and I didn’t mean to come across as being discriminatory. I probably should have made another post after that or edited it to let users know that I looked more into it, and also that my tone may have been perceived differently than intended. from my experience theres also a faily large overlap in xenogenders & people with autism and personality disorders too likely because it's difficult to always connect with neurotypical concepts of gender and sex and pre-existing identity issues will make it even more foreign if you aren't always certain of who you even are.
Definitely not saying so to discount them or say it's a mental illness, just a personal observation. Hell, I'd count as part of that overlap.
but generally people making fun of or not taking it seriously just straight up aren't going to help anyone and further alienate someone. And as a sort of side point: it's why even though if someone does believe lgbt+ is a mental illness being mean to people just means you're making fun of someone with a disability and that still makes them a jackass for doing it if nothing else.
but also i'm biased and a little grouchy about it because i don't identify to be "taken seriously" i identify to tell people who i am and how i feel and not being "taken seriously" is not my problem, i've decided.
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Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 8, 2024 20:54:00 GMT -5
Also i'm not at all angry I am just really unexpressive and low energy atm.
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 8, 2024 20:58:14 GMT -5
Sorry sorry sorry- I think I may have phrased some of that stuff wrong, in another post I tried to clarify that I researched a bit more after I posted it, and that I don’t think anyone needs to understand something to be able to support it. I do support xenogenders, and I didn’t mean to come across as being discriminatory. I probably should have made another post after that or edited it to let users know that I looked more into it, and also that my tone may have been perceived differently than intended. from my experience theres also a faily large overlap in xenogenders & people with autism and personality disorders too likely because it's difficult to always connect with neurotypical concepts of gender and sex and pre-existing identity issues will make it even more foreign if you aren't always certain of who you even are.
Definitely not saying so to discount them or say it's a mental illness, just a personal observation. Hell, I'd count as part of that overlap.
but generally people making fun of or not taking it seriously just straight up aren't going to help anyone and further alienate someone. And as a sort of side point: it's why even though if someone does believe lgbt+ is a mental illness being mean to people just means you're making fun of someone with a disability and that still makes them a jackass for doing it if nothing else.
but also i'm biased and a little grouchy about it because i don't identify to be "taken seriously" i identify to tell people who i am and how i feel and not being "taken seriously" is not my problem, i've decided.
To the part in bold: I’m almost exactly the same way and I think I understand what you’re saying with that to everything else: yeah I agree with that and it does make some sense to me. Based on my ‘research’ there’s some xenogenders known as neurogenders, and can only be used by neurodivergents/neurospicy peeps (whichever term you prefer). Also, apparently they aren’t used literally, so individuals who identify with things like ‘stargender’ aren’t literally identifying as a star, it’s just a term they might use because there isn’t one that feels right for them. |
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 8, 2024 20:58:57 GMT -5
Also i'm not at all angry I am just really unexpressive and low energy atm. Ohhh ok. (Literally me at all times + being hyper simultaneously-) |
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 8, 2024 21:03:07 GMT -5
Kjhrbdggbjhkecsrtgbyikecratkgiybcrtesigykrctsigkykgytkiregibgtricyeskgyibcrtewgukinrttc
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Post by کیوان on Apr 8, 2024 21:34:58 GMT -5
Kjhrbdggbjhkecsrtgbyikecratkgiybcrtesigykrctsigkykgytkiregibgtricyeskgyibcrtewgukinrttc Hm? What's on your mind? |
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 9, 2024 12:57:15 GMT -5
Kjhrbdggbjhkecsrtgbyikecratkgiybcrtesigykrctsigkykgytkiregibgtricyeskgyibcrtewgukinrttc Hm? What's on your mind? Just absolutely exhausted |
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Post by Chicken on Apr 9, 2024 13:31:29 GMT -5
I'm so fed up with having to take on other people's responsibilities, I just want to go one day without having to focus on other people's crap, but I'm the only one who is willing to take out the dog that I didn't even want, like my sister always wants to get a dog soo bad but she hates going outside and getting up and doing stuff, like what the f did you think having a dog would entail?
This has happened like five times now, and I realize I'm part of the problem too, since I'm the one who takes them out and feeds them and stuff, it's kinda to be expected, but if I don't, then it won't get done, and while I don't like dogs, it's nothing personal, I just hate chaos, and having extra responsibilities, but I also dislike the idea of a dog being neglected even more.
I just wish my sister would grow the f up and stop making so many excuses and slacking on the responsibilities that she chose to take on and then getting mad at me for getting mad that she's not doing more to take care of the dog that she wanted yet AGAIN and never seeing the error of her ways and always making everything my problem when I just want one day where it's not full of other people's crap, it sometimes feels like I don't have my own life because I have to be responsible for everyone else's stuff, I wish I could go one day without worrying about everyone being taken care of and everything being maintained, but it seems like I can't take my eyes off her kids for more than 20 minutes without the house becoming a disaster.
Maybe I'm complaining too much but my sister is almost 30 she needs to grow up and stop being so irresponsible and lazy, if I wanted to spend my life taking care of living creatures, I would have gotten a career in doing so, but I did not, I spent my whole life pushing people away because I didn't want to have to be responsible for someone else, but now here I am.
Fortunately though with the kids, things are getting easier but the dog situation ugh, the dog doesn't even like anyone in the else except me, and that's also how it always goes, with cats my sister chooses to get, they always end up avoiding her and being super attached to me, and then she gets upset that they like me more and says they're my pets now, and that's another annoyance, idk why everyone and everything has to be sooo obsessed with me, I'm not even that hot lol.
I get the reason why for the most part, because I'm their biggest/pretty much sole caretaker, but even with pets that aren't mine, they've always seemed to like me, which I don't get because I don't even really acknowledge them and I'm not a good person either, which is another thing that people use as an explanation.
Does anyone want any of my magical Disney Princess animal powers? lol
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Post by Quill on Apr 9, 2024 13:59:15 GMT -5
My younger sister had to withdraw from college and move back home due to her OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). It's really, really bad. This mental illness has taken basically everything from her and has left her almost at the point of giving up on life. It's hard to watch her spiral day after day, even though she's in treatment. The treatment doesn't seem that effective and she'll probably have to go into residential care.
Also, on the more selfish side, it's hard for her family (including me) to live with her compulsions. For example, every time I go to the bathroom, I have to clean up the flooded sink counter from her handwashing. And it's difficult to have a conversation with her without getting roped into her warped thinking about germs. My mom and I have no idea how to navigate it. To accommodate her compulsions feeds into the mental illness, but pushing against them causes her anxiety to skyrocket.
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Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Apr 9, 2024 14:55:23 GMT -5
Aight I'm gonna vent bc I don't have anywhere else to vent tbh.
So to start off, I'm closeted bi. Like, probably will never tell a single soul. I don't really care too much about that aspect, but it kind of layers into the story. Anyways, there's a group of guys I've been playing video games with, some of which I've known for 7+ years. Anyways, one newer guy is also bi and tbh the first time I've ever had a crush on another guy. Anyways, not a relationship i'd ever act on.
Anyways, recently, he got into a relationship and it hit me way harder than it should have. I'm normally a pretty stoic person, so I don't typically talk to other people about stuff like this. I don't want to cut myself off from him or the rest of the group because they're all amazing people (for the most part, there's one guy I have beef with but that's besides the point.) I'm genuinely happy for him that he found someone he enjoys being around and whatnot, but it hurts knowing that he is in a relationship and if I dwell on it, I find myself hoping they'll break up, which makes me feel even worse. Anyways, I'll be over here brooding for a while lmao.
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 9, 2024 15:38:49 GMT -5
Aight I'm gonna vent bc I don't have anywhere else to vent tbh. So to start off, I'm closeted bi. Like, probably will never tell a single soul. I don't really care too much about that aspect, but it kind of layers into the story. Anyways, there's a group of guys I've been playing video games with, some of which I've known for 7+ years. Anyways, one newer guy is also bi and tbh the first time I've ever had a crush on another guy. Anyways, not a relationship i'd ever act on. Anyways, recently, he got into a relationship and it hit me way harder than it should have. I'm normally a pretty stoic person, so I don't typically talk to other people about stuff like this. I don't want to cut myself off from him or the rest of the group because they're all amazing people (for the most part, there's one guy I have beef with but that's besides the point.) I'm genuinely happy for him that he found someone he enjoys being around and whatnot, but it hurts knowing that he is in a relationship and if I dwell on it, I find myself hoping they'll break up, which makes me feel even worse. Anyways, I'll be over here brooding for a while lmao. Oh that’s too bad. Not sure what advice I’d give. I’m panromantic btw, like bi but I like people regardless of their gender. If you ever do find someone you’re comfortable telling, I hope that works out for you! As for this person you play video games with, no idea what to do about it, but if you feel comfortable telling him that you’re bi (just to let him know what you have in common, not to act on any feelings if you don’t want to act on ‘em), he might have some advice in the world of bisexuality, and you could ask him not to tell anyone. Don’t feel like you have to do any of these things I’ve said, but at least consider it! Anygay, welcome back to the forums! |
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Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Apr 9, 2024 16:04:45 GMT -5
Aight I'm gonna vent bc I don't have anywhere else to vent tbh. So to start off, I'm closeted bi. Like, probably will never tell a single soul. I don't really care too much about that aspect, but it kind of layers into the story. Anyways, there's a group of guys I've been playing video games with, some of which I've known for 7+ years. Anyways, one newer guy is also bi and tbh the first time I've ever had a crush on another guy. Anyways, not a relationship i'd ever act on. Anyways, recently, he got into a relationship and it hit me way harder than it should have. I'm normally a pretty stoic person, so I don't typically talk to other people about stuff like this. I don't want to cut myself off from him or the rest of the group because they're all amazing people (for the most part, there's one guy I have beef with but that's besides the point.) I'm genuinely happy for him that he found someone he enjoys being around and whatnot, but it hurts knowing that he is in a relationship and if I dwell on it, I find myself hoping they'll break up, which makes me feel even worse. Anyways, I'll be over here brooding for a while lmao. Oh that’s too bad. Not sure what advice I’d give. I’m panromantic btw, like bi but I like people regardless of their gender. If you ever do find someone you’re comfortable telling, I hope that works out for you! As for this person you play video games with, no idea what to do about it, but if you feel comfortable telling him that you’re bi (just to let him know what you have in common, not to act on any feelings if you don’t want to act on ‘em), he might have some advice in the world of bisexuality, and you could ask him not to tell anyone. Don’t feel like you have to do any of these things I’ve said, but at least consider it! Anygay, welcome back to the forums! Thanks for the advice. My biggest worry is 1. He'd let it slip. He gets over talkative when he drinks (which isn't often but not never) and that's exactly the type of stuff he would let slip. 2. I don't want to come off as disingenuous. I have had some philosophical discussions with him on the subject of homosexuality and religion and whatnot and I explained to him my take, which pretty much breaks down to "the Bible says it's a sin so I'm not going to do it, but I don't care if other people do it because it also says you shouldn't judge others just because they sin differently from you." I feel like some of our more serious convos on stuff like that was where our friendship deepened and I don't want to come across as a lier or something like that. |
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 9, 2024 16:20:57 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice. My biggest worry is 1. He'd let it slip. He gets over talkative when he drinks (which isn't often but not never) and that's exactly the type of stuff he would let slip. 2. I don't want to come off as disingenuous. I have had some philosophical discussions with him on the subject of homosexuality and religion and whatnot and I explained to him my take, which pretty much breaks down to "the Bible says it's a sin so I'm not going to do it, but I don't care if other people do it because it also says you shouldn't judge others just because they sin differently from you." I feel like some of our more serious convos on stuff like that was where our friendship deepened and I don't want to come across as a liar or something like that. Oh that’s too bad. I think I understand the situation better now. I’m not sure what I’d do, but I do hope you find something that helps. ^^ also, there’s a lot of queers on the internet and probably somewhere on Reddit there’s people who have better advice than me lol. I don’t use Reddit tho so I wouldn’t know |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2024 16:32:20 GMT -5
im sick and tired of my stupid idiot of a mother just calling me insane and emotionally hurting me everyday. she makes me hate my life and windows have suddenly become fascintaing. like i realized that im a psycho can you stop reminding me\??? like im done just leave me alone. but no "you cant be left alone thats not good for you" like wtf?? how does that work. ive lived with you for the past 17 years and you still fail to recognize that people just dont want to talk to you, or interact with you, because your a lying, cheating, deceiving, hypocrite. a stranger would be nicer to me than you. i dont want to do this anymore but what else am i supposed to do? i want to be a criminal lawyer but she keeps on saying some variation of "your becoming an eye doctor" like i said tthat when i was like 10 im almost 17 now maybe i had a change of mind? accept t and move on and stop trying to convince my to be a doctor its prolly even harder than a lawyer and im not intrested. she makes me feel ugly and fat when i know im prolly ugly. she hates anything thats good. she makes me work (as in worksheets) for things i need like a REQUIRED shirt for my band. i asked her to change a bill to smaller bills and she's all "no you can just buy a dress with it" so?? why cant you do it anyways??? like arent dresses like 50 dollars or smth. and she refuses to accept that i hate dresses. like give me something else? work around it? idk just dont ridicule me. she gossips about ME IN FRONT OF ME. she tells everyone EVERYTHING, when i mean everything i mean EVERYTHING like when i got my last period, how many friends i have, etc. why does my MUSIC TEACHER need to know about this?? just say i was sick or smth thats what i told my friends. |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Apr 9, 2024 17:53:08 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice. My biggest worry is 1. He'd let it slip. He gets over talkative when he drinks (which isn't often but not never) and that's exactly the type of stuff he would let slip. 2. I don't want to come off as disingenuous. I have had some philosophical discussions with him on the subject of homosexuality and religion and whatnot and I explained to him my take, which pretty much breaks down to "the Bible says it's a sin so I'm not going to do it, but I don't care if other people do it because it also says you shouldn't judge others just because they sin differently from you." I feel like some of our more serious convos on stuff like that was where our friendship deepened and I don't want to come across as a lier or something like that. Not sure if this is helpful for this specific predicament, but you might find it helpful overall to get involved with a Side B community. I'm sure there's lots of people in them who know exactly what it's like and could offer pertinent advice for dealing with these sort of situations based on personal experience. |
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Post by 🎃*:.｡. Rain .｡.:*🦇 on Apr 9, 2024 18:19:43 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice. My biggest worry is 1. He'd let it slip. He gets over talkative when he drinks (which isn't often but not never) and that's exactly the type of stuff he would let slip. 2. I don't want to come off as disingenuous. I have had some philosophical discussions with him on the subject of homosexuality and religion and whatnot and I explained to him my take, which pretty much breaks down to "the Bible says it's a sin so I'm not going to do it, but I don't care if other people do it because it also says you shouldn't judge others just because they sin differently from you." I feel like some of our more serious convos on stuff like that was where our friendship deepened and I don't want to come across as a lier or something like that. Not sure if this is helpful for this specific predicament, but you might find it helpful overall to get involved with a Side B community. I'm sure there's lots of people in them who know exactly what it's like and could offer pertinent advice for dealing with these sort of situations based on personal experience. What’s a Side B community? Sorry, I would google it but I can’t. |
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Post by {Azure} on Apr 9, 2024 21:36:07 GMT -5
Codes: white and yellowTW: talk of suic!dal thoughts
I've been having repressed suicidal thoughts lately and today was the day I was this close🤏 to cutting myself and the only thing that stopped it was the fact that if it cut myself while making sure my friends didn't, would make me a hypocrite. and guess what's making me do this. that's right! it's F*CKING GRADES out of every other reason I have to want to die, GRADES are what almost push me over the edge! I hate everything right now, especially myself and want it to be over. I just wanna be with my nephew...
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Post by Chicken on Apr 9, 2024 22:36:16 GMT -5
Codes: white and yellowTW: talk of suic!dal thoughts
I've been having repressed suicidal thoughts lately and today was the day I was this close🤏 to cutting myself and the only thing that stopped it was the fact that if it cut myself while making sure my friends didn't, would make me a hypocrite. and guess what's making me do this. that's right! it's F*CKING GRADES out of every other reason I have to want to die, GRADES are what almost push me over the edge! I hate everything right now, especially myself and want it to be over. I just wanna be with my nephew...
Try not to feel too bad about snapping over stuff like that, sometimes it just builds up, and there's a lot under the surface besides just grades.
Let me guess, your parents are pressuring you to make good grades?
Not to sound like a downer, but grades hardly even matter unless you have the drive and other sort of means, such as money, time, etc to go to high education and get the career you want, I made all As in school, won a lot of academic awards, but none of that matters now because I did absolutely nothing with it.
If there's more going on and you want to talk about it, I'm open to listening, if not, here's something that helps me, I always think about the things I want to experience, like a new show episode coming out, or the fact that I want to ride in a limo before I die, another thing that helps is to have goals and projects to work on, like right now I'm knitting a scarf, I don't want to go out leaving it incomplete, finding something to work on could also help your mind focus on something other than your feelings, but I'd recommend finding the root of the problem and pulling it out, vs just covering up with distractions |
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Post by Mother Dark on Apr 10, 2024 21:36:49 GMT -5
I found out yesterday through a medical portal message that I have /might have Fibromyalgia (she told me to seek treatment for it but I see no official diagnosis on my chart.) Don't know how I feel about it yet.
My big struggle I'm feeling right now is that my primary care sent me to another dr to try and figure out what was causing my chronic pain but he didn't tell me he was passing me on to this new dr and doesn't plan on overseeing my care. The new dr told me she can't do anything more than the primary care and wants me to have him oversee me as she is 40 minutes away from me and I have no license to get to her.
So I don't have anyone to oversee treatment for the tentative diagnosis. Though I haven't been fully aware of the pain until semi recently I am beyond frustrated as it seems like every time I start solving a problem for myself 10 more pop up.
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Post by lightfur on Apr 11, 2024 18:30:30 GMT -5
It's been years, but I'm still grieving a lot right now, especially since I didn't get to say goodbye. It hurts a lot.
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Post by Quill on Apr 12, 2024 20:34:42 GMT -5
I found out yesterday through a medical portal message that I have /might have Fibromyalgia (she told me to seek treatment for it but I see no official diagnosis on my chart.) Don't know how I feel about it yet. My big struggle I'm feeling right now is that my primary care sent me to another dr to try and figure out what was causing my chronic pain but he didn't tell me he was passing me on to this new dr and doesn't plan on overseeing my care. The new dr told me she can't do anything more than the primary care and wants me to have him oversee me as she is 40 minutes away from me and I have no license to get to her. So I don't have anyone to oversee treatment for the tentative diagnosis. Though I haven't been fully aware of the pain until semi recently I am beyond frustrated as it seems like every time I start solving a problem for myself 10 more pop up. Ugh, that sucks. My fiancee is in the same boat. She has fibromyalgia/chronic pain and her primary care doctor does absolutely nothing to help her figure things out. Fibromyalgia seems to be umbrella diagnosis for when they don't exactly know what's going on  I hope you find some solutions eventually. It helps if you can find someone to help advocate for you at appointments. |
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Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 12, 2024 20:49:13 GMT -5
I'm equal parts outraged and scared for my friend right now because their insurance denied getting their insulin refilled
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Post by کیوان on Apr 12, 2024 21:47:56 GMT -5
I'm equal parts outraged and scared for my friend right now because their insurance denied getting their insulin refilled As someone with endocrine knowledge, hearing this occur upsets me. Insulin management is serious! |
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Post by {Azure} on Apr 12, 2024 22:35:57 GMT -5
too angry to explain, too sad to explain, idk but i'll give you a hint: it has to do with the first post of page 75
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Agender
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Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 12, 2024 22:48:10 GMT -5
too angry to explain, too sad to explain, idk but i'll give you a hint: it has to do with the first post of page 75 You and your sil are in my heart, friend. |
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Post by Chicken on Apr 13, 2024 9:11:04 GMT -5
Everything I'm working on is getting destroyed, someone took apart the scarf that I was making, which was in a spot where I thought no one would be able to reach, and my radishes were also trampled and dug around, after I specifically said a billion times not to mess around in that gardening bed, and it's obvious to see that there are plants growing there, I just find that rude af
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