Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Feb 22, 2023 17:20:10 GMT -5
Gotta love how my mother gaslights anyone for literally anything, or at the very least never wants to admit she's wrong, even for the tiniest and most insignificant of things. (The following is a hypothetical situation.) Like if she just did grocery shopping and you ask where the groceries are, she would tell you they're on the kitchen counter. You head into the kitchen and they're not there - moments later you locate them by the front door on the ground. You pick them up and she approaches you and asks if you found them. If you say, "Yeah, they weren't by the kitchen counter, they were downstairs, but it's fine, I got them", she will *never* admit she was mistaken. Quite the contrary, she'll just giggle and say that "she never said that", and will repeat that over and over. Push her too far and... she gets verbally abusive, so I don't poke the bear. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Post by Tealraven on Feb 24, 2023 16:08:57 GMT -5
i don't understand how the economy works at all or what economic policies are and it's so frustratingggg
i want to edcuate myself so i can make informed decisions when voting because politics and the economy go hand in hand but like. how??? how and where can i learn this stuff in an unbiased way? why did my high school allow us to graduate without knowing even the basics???? i don't even KNOW what i DON'T KNOW aldjsdkdfk
edit: to be clear, i do know that i can get books and take online classes or whatever, i'm just frustrated that YET AGAIN i am having to teach myself something that should have been covered in high school just to get myself up-to-speed with my peers
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Post by Chicken on Feb 26, 2023 9:07:10 GMT -5
I'm so annoyed
Why does my sister's mid 20s manchild who never does anything to benefit anyone but himself, and when people hand everything to him, he doesn't appreciate it, why does he get to have everything he wants and he gets to do everything he wants without facing any consequences at all?
If a problem comes up he whines and complains and freaks out over it until someone else solves it for him, yet he can't extend the same favor towards other people
I never met someone so entitled in my life and he acts like his life is so miserable when he's the one making everyone around him miserable and if he's depressed or has something else going on then I don't care, he has every chance to get therapy, he can afford it, he can go there, he just refuses to
The injustice of this all is irritating me SO much, he can go out with his friends whenever he wants, sleep in whenever he wants, I had to wake up at 5 in the morning to take care of his kid because he didn't want to, and it's like he expects me to and he probably does
The other day, he told my sister that I had to ask him if I needed help with the kids, I shouldn't have to ask they're not my kids, did I shack up with my sister to bring them into the world? Last I checked...no!
The good news is, I might be moving in a couple of months but I worry like everything seems to, this will also turn to crap, but life is life and when life is crap get a shovel and beat the people who are making you miserable over the head with it
(don't actually do that bad advice lol)
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Post by Chicken on Feb 26, 2023 18:45:43 GMT -5
Sorry for double posting but I realized that I'm the main source of the issues
I don't even really mind watching the kids that much anymore, but what makes me angry is the injustice that their father doesn't have to do a SINGLE thing with them and also everything else pertaining to how he gets to have his dreams come true but he's not really the one working for them and he doesn't appreciate anything and he's soo entitled, I know I mentioned it earlier but the fact of this all makes me so angry which is a me issue because it's my feelings
Another me issue is that I'm basically a helicopter "parent" and am hyper alert to every sound they make and I get really worried about whether they're being fed and changed on time or enough, I wish I could be more like my sister and her husband and have a more relaxed approach but I worry that if I don't do it then it won't get done, there was one night where I was extremely sick and I couldn't even stay awake and they managed to keep them alive and well, the living room was completely destroyed but it went better than expected
My worries and my lack of faith in the people I live with are also me issues
So yeah, I spend all this time being angry when I'm the main problem
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Feb 26, 2023 20:09:06 GMT -5
Sorry for double posting but I realized that I'm the main source of the issues I don't even really mind watching the kids that much anymore, but what makes me angry is the injustice that their father doesn't have to do a SINGLE thing with them and also everything else pertaining to how he gets to have his dreams come true but he's not really the one working for them and he doesn't appreciate anything and he's soo entitled, I know I mentioned it earlier but the fact of this all makes me so angry which is a me issue because it's my feelings Another me issue is that I'm basically a helicopter "parent" and am hyper alert to every sound they make and I get really worried about whether they're being fed and changed on time or enough, I wish I could be more like my sister and her husband and have a more relaxed approach but I worry that if I don't do it then it won't get done, there was one night where I was extremely sick and I couldn't even stay awake and they managed to keep them alive and well, the living room was completely destroyed but it went better than expected My worries and my lack of faith in the people I live with are also me issues So yeah, I spend all this time being angry when I'm the main problem Given that you are basically these kids' main caretaker 24/7, being hyper aware of their safety and well-being is not at all weird and is a pretty natural instinct - most parents feel that way (and it's bizarre that their actual parents don't). Honestly, it speaks well of your dedication to them, even though you never desired to be their caretaker. What's NOT normal is that you don't have anyone around you to comfortably fall back on. It's not necessarily that you aren't trusting enough, but that it sounds like the parents haven't proven worthy of trust when it comes to caring for their own kids. Like the fact you get so worried about your niblings getting changed or fed (extremely basic childcare) is a major red flag regarding their proven parenting competency. Based on everything I've heard about your living situation, you are not the main problem here. |
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Post by Chicken on Feb 27, 2023 16:44:30 GMT -5
Sorry for double posting but I realized that I'm the main source of the issues I don't even really mind watching the kids that much anymore, but what makes me angry is the injustice that their father doesn't have to do a SINGLE thing with them and also everything else pertaining to how he gets to have his dreams come true but he's not really the one working for them and he doesn't appreciate anything and he's soo entitled, I know I mentioned it earlier but the fact of this all makes me so angry which is a me issue because it's my feelings Another me issue is that I'm basically a helicopter "parent" and am hyper alert to every sound they make and I get really worried about whether they're being fed and changed on time or enough, I wish I could be more like my sister and her husband and have a more relaxed approach but I worry that if I don't do it then it won't get done, there was one night where I was extremely sick and I couldn't even stay awake and they managed to keep them alive and well, the living room was completely destroyed but it went better than expected My worries and my lack of faith in the people I live with are also me issues So yeah, I spend all this time being angry when I'm the main problem Given that you are basically these kids' main caretaker 24/7, being hyper aware of their safety and well-being is not at all weird and is a pretty natural instinct - most parents feel that way (and it's bizarre that their actual parents don't). Honestly, it speaks well of your dedication to them, even though you never desired to be their caretaker. What's NOT normal is that you don't have anyone around you to comfortably fall back on. It's not necessarily that you aren't trusting enough, but that it sounds like the parents haven't proven worthy of trust when it comes to caring for their own kids. Like the fact you get so worried about your niblings getting changed or fed (extremely basic childcare) is a major red flag regarding their proven parenting competency. Based on everything I've heard about your living situation, you are not the main problem here. Thanks for saying all of that, I'm sorry I keep complaining over and over again about the same stuff I've tried doing things about it, I've basically told everyone how I feel except for my sister's husband because he doesn't listen or consider anyone else's POV unless it's some guy trying to trap him in some pyramid scheme, but he knows how I feel, and so do a lot of people, I've never been quiet about my undesire to have children and how they are everything that stresses me out but no one cares enough to listen which has basically been everything regarding me my entire life This is actually tempting me to have my own kids so I can raise them the way I want to and see how less spoiled they are, my nephew is so spoiled it kind of makes me mad and this isn't my doing My sister buys him something everytime she goes to the store and she's constantly ordering him stuff online, and whenever he wants something or throws a fit about something, she quickly gives into his demands, like a few nights ago, he was throwing a fit that a small piece of his cupcake broke off so he threw it away and I said that he shouldn't be given another one because he wasted that one for a stupid reason, and my sister gave him a new one anyway, another thing is that he makes the house a disaster and they ask him a couple of times to clean up his mess and then just give up, and when he throws his toys like expensive ones like his tablet, I take them away from him, only to have to give them back because he said pretty please and my sister thinks he's too cute to say no to, I keep telling her that if she doesn't stop then he's going to grow up to be a lazy entitled spoiled brat just like his father and I really don't want to deal with that and I don't want her to have to either I know my methods are probably a bit too strict I often have the problem of treating my nephew like I would anyone else and expecting him to clean up after himself and not act unreasonable about stupid things He can do it though, he's cleaned up after himself before, now he's gotten to the point where he asks me to get his tablet for him that's like right next to him At least he's only a toddler and has an excuse unlike his dad who last weekend while I watched his kids without any help even though he was here the whole time, he was just playing video games, he asked me to get him a drink and food, all I had time to eat that day was a package of cheese crackers because I was too busy watching his kids and he still expects me to feed him too Sorry for the long and ranty response I hope everything is going well with you and the stuff going on in your life |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Feb 27, 2023 19:02:18 GMT -5
Given that you are basically these kids' main caretaker 24/7, being hyper aware of their safety and well-being is not at all weird and is a pretty natural instinct - most parents feel that way (and it's bizarre that their actual parents don't). Honestly, it speaks well of your dedication to them, even though you never desired to be their caretaker. What's NOT normal is that you don't have anyone around you to comfortably fall back on. It's not necessarily that you aren't trusting enough, but that it sounds like the parents haven't proven worthy of trust when it comes to caring for their own kids. Like the fact you get so worried about your niblings getting changed or fed (extremely basic childcare) is a major red flag regarding their proven parenting competency. Based on everything I've heard about your living situation, you are not the main problem here. Thanks for saying all of that, I'm sorry I keep complaining over and over again about the same stuff I've tried doing things about it, I've basically told everyone how I feel except for my sister's husband because he doesn't listen or consider anyone else's POV unless it's some guy trying to trap him in some pyramid scheme, but he knows how I feel, and so do a lot of people, I've never been quiet about my undesire to have children and how they are everything that stresses me out but no one cares enough to listen which has basically been everything regarding me my entire life This is actually tempting me to have my own kids so I can raise them the way I want to and see how less spoiled they are, my nephew is so spoiled it kind of makes me mad and this isn't my doing My sister buys him something everytime she goes to the store and she's constantly ordering him stuff online, and whenever he wants something or throws a fit about something, she quickly gives into his demands, like a few nights ago, he was throwing a fit that a small piece of his cupcake broke off so he threw it away and I said that he shouldn't be given another one because he wasted that one for a stupid reason, and my sister gave him a new one anyway, another thing is that he makes the house a disaster and they ask him a couple of times to clean up his mess and then just give up, and when he throws his toys like expensive ones like his tablet, I take them away from him, only to have to give them back because he said pretty please and my sister thinks he's too cute to say no to, I keep telling her that if she doesn't stop then he's going to grow up to be a lazy entitled spoiled brat just like his father and I really don't want to deal with that and I don't want her to have to either I know my methods are probably a bit too strict I often have the problem of treating my nephew like I would anyone else and expecting him to clean up after himself and not act unreasonable about stupid things He can do it though, he's cleaned up after himself before, now he's gotten to the point where he asks me to get his tablet for him that's like right next to him At least he's only a toddler and has an excuse unlike his dad who last weekend while I watched his kids without any help even though he was here the whole time, he was just playing video games, he asked me to get him a drink and food, all I had time to eat that day was a package of cheese crackers because I was too busy watching his kids and he still expects me to feed him too Sorry for the long and ranty response I hope everything is going well with you and the stuff going on in your life Can't recommend having kids just out of spite, lol. But that being said, you actually sound like you have a really good grasp on what being a good parent looks like. A lot of adults way underestimate what kids are capable of understanding. Honestly wouldn't be surprised if the reason you don't want kids is precisely because you actually understand how much effort goes into raising them well, unlike your sister and her husband. |
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Post by Tealraven on Feb 28, 2023 20:49:52 GMT -5
i hate my state i hate my state i hate my state i hate its stupid politics and stupid policies i can't wait to leave this stupid state
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 1, 2023 2:15:13 GMT -5
I'm emotionally and physically trapped with a person who doesn't really love me anymore and I have to beg for him to care but still expects exclusivity or he will be violent.
And I just can't do anything about that because I live here and I can't go anywhere else.
I just...
I am tired of sitting around and waiting for him to "work on it" and being patient when i have to put up with someone who makes me feel totally unloved and unvalued 90% of the time unless he wants something from me.
I want to explore and I want to feel love and I want to be appreciated and instead I am here with so much love to give and accidentally forming crushes that I have to immediately kill my feelings for and become distant with people because if I don't I risk taking it further or I risk him going ape shit on me or thinking I am cheating. (Me forming crushes too easily is also a different issue I don't feel like going into, but.)
I'm tired of being glued to a person who is emotionally unavailable and expects exclusivity.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 1, 2023 2:28:24 GMT -5
Its also soul crushing to remember at one point I was just so in love to the point I thought we were going to get married and then when we started living by ourselves instead of in a house full of other people his personality drastically changed to be a lot nastier and a lot more distant. From friend to fiance to begrudging roommate/fwb situationship that I hate. It's only nice sometimes and only ever on HIS terms. And then yesterday he also had the audacity to yell at me and ask me why he's always the one having to compromise when I ask for things and why he has to do things for me?? THERE IS NO COMPROMISE HAPPENING. The "compromise" he always wants is just for me to either 1. Not ever complain or have any problems with what he does when or 2. Do everything to make him feel comfortable (sometimes at the expense of my own comfort or mental stability). Like dude. You expect all of these romantic &+ things after ignoring me and I don't know what your deal is or what you want from me. I don't wanna be here and I've felt like trash for years about it. Except this time I feel like I'm genuinely getting close to a person I don't want to let go of. I don't wanna just suddenly drop it and go distant and crush the crush. Why tf should I keep having to do that?  |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 1, 2023 2:33:24 GMT -5
He was also just diagnosed bipolar and idk if this is just a bipolar thing I just have to deal with him ucking around with my feelings and swinging them back and forth cause that's just how he is or what. Its made me even more conflicted on if anything I say about this is even worth bringing up or I should stay until he does finally get help because thats what a supportive and loyal person would do.
I really feel like I have just been through hell and I'm tired of fighting to feel loved at all.
I really just feel like I am unliveable and I don't deserve it and its my fault. Not because of just this but it sure doesnt help. I know I am also just... difficult and a piece of shit, to put it bluntly. I've had my own issues that he has stayed with me for I feel like I'd just be a bad person if I decided to just ignore him and do my own thing.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 1, 2023 2:35:58 GMT -5
I'm emotional and loopy on my medication sorry for quadruple post but idk i just wanna fall in love again dude i dont want to have wishy washy bullshit in my life no more.
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Aroace
#b6efff
Name Colour
Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ
Villain Enjoyer
Arcane Season 2 has got me in a chokehold once again (do not send help)
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Post by Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ on Mar 1, 2023 5:14:46 GMT -5
Having writer's block sucks.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 1, 2023 12:37:59 GMT -5
Well that was embarrassing to come back to this morning please forget all of that I actually do not have feelings or emotions ever I'm going back to being a brick now.
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#add8e6
Name Colour
*Ravenpaw*
Warrior Fanatic
*reads books in a corner*
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Post by *Ravenpaw* on Mar 2, 2023 19:50:21 GMT -5
I miss the days when we had enough staff.
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Post by rabbit on Mar 4, 2023 8:41:32 GMT -5
Waking up for my job is almost unbearable now.. I have to work with shitty stressed out people who spend way too much time complaining about other people and two lead management people, one who says ableist shit and one who thinks bullying people is funny. I’ve only been there for a few years yet I am somehow one of the most senior workers which means my boss expects waay too much out of me like I‘m some sort of miracle worker that can do all of things. Sorry I’ve been taking the time I need to commit to animal welfare, working almost 50 hours every week, and barely having the time and energy to take care of myself like eating and bathing… I cannot wait to pay off most of my debts and leave this dead end of a place. Like bye, have fun by keep trying to figure out why people who come out of training immediately quit.
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Omnisexual
🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾
Being a theater kid
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Post by 🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾 on Mar 4, 2023 13:05:33 GMT -5
Hate being on the Senior Team at dance. They always find some way to make something my fault. Whether I mess up or don't go somewhere with them. For example, I was gone for a week, because my grandfather passed and I had to travel across the country to the funeral, and they were really rude about the changes we had made to a dance. Like, I was at my grandfather's funeral cut me some slack! And then my "best friend" likes to get onto me when I say oh my God. She says, "Don't say the Lord's name in vain." Like, yes... but no. It just kinda slips out, ya know? And she likes to treat me like I'm useless. Saying I forget everything or I won't do something she tells me to. HELL NO I'M NOT DOING SOMETHING YOU TELL ME TO! She's so annoying! Thinking that just because we're "best friends" means she can tell me what to do! Thank goodness I'm quitting after the end of this year.
Also, writer's block. Trying to write my first book but I can't stick to an idea and character names are so hard to come up with! I usually base names off appearance, but finding human names instead of cat names is hard. I know it's definitely going to be a teen detective book though, since those are my favorite.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Mar 8, 2023 18:23:21 GMT -5
So my mother sat me down for 30 minutes telling me how vaccines cause autism, Covid, etc, how scientists are all "cult leaders", and she's going to be organizing rallies to "combat the Libturds (<--- censored) and vaccine pushers". That was a fun half-hour. At this point I'm considering getting a mini fridge and only head upstairs for bathroom needs. x_x
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Mar 8, 2023 19:21:51 GMT -5
politics really is just people getting mad at each other for what they think other people believe. i vote that everyone shut up forever until we learn to actually, y'know, talk.
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Post by Chicken on Mar 9, 2023 9:09:29 GMT -5
politics really is just people getting mad at each other for what they think other people believe. i vote that everyone shut up forever until we learn to actually, y'know, talk. Agreed Also, when it comes to politics, both of the main sides are crap because they're full of hateful hypocrites who care more about their pride-filled beliefs than the people around them Like you have the people on the right who is like "Do by god and love everyone around you...except the gays!" but in today's society in America, people are a lot more accepting of people being gay, so maybe transgender would fit better in that place, but they all fall under the same umbrella anyway Then you have the people on the left who will send death threats to a 13 year old Russian girl for cultural appropriation while at the same time forgetting that everything about this PC stuff that is taught in places like America, Australia, the UK, etc probably doesn't translate as well over there When people say love and tolerance and care for others, it should be all people, people should stop judging people by their outer appearances and just treat people like they deserve to be treated on their personality alone |
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Aroace
#b6efff
Name Colour
Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ
Villain Enjoyer
Arcane Season 2 has got me in a chokehold once again (do not send help)
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Post by Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ on Mar 12, 2023 15:17:03 GMT -5
Writer's block still sucks.
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Lesbian
#ACEBF6
Name Colour
Feathertalon
Bird Overlord
unofficial chicken whisperer
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Post by Feathertalon on Mar 12, 2023 20:18:34 GMT -5
TW - Death, depression, self harm, all that ~fun~ stuff I haven’t hit a depressive low this bad in years and man does it suck
Since late December I’ve had four people I knew (two family, two former classmate and other former coworker) die. Two of which were sudden and unexpected. I even found out two days later after texting my classmate about a project we had together and she never responded because she had tragically passed away over the weekend. And along with that in the same span of just a few months I’ve had three people I know hospitalized for various health reasons. Two of those being my own grandparents. All is okay now on that front.
This part of the rant is really stupid and selfish, but I feel like I’m going to be losing a friend because she’s having a baby in six months. I can’t stand being around babies for a lot of reasons so when it’s born I feel like I’ll be losing that friend along with my entire dnd group because they don’t have the same aversions that I do. We play dnd at the pregnant friend and her husband’s house so it’s not like the baby can’t be around when we play.
I’ve completely ruined one of the most important relationships I’ve ever had in my entire life. It’s all my fault for being a toxic person and now that the “relationship” is in a strict no contact status I feel completely lost, alone, and isolated with nobody to turn to. I didn’t think it would hurt this bad. You never know how much somebody means until they’re gone.
Again I’m hammered with the thoughts that I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never succeed. I’m finally back in college and while I know I’m not “too old” - there’s no such thing as too old for college in my mind - it just feels like I shouldn’t be there, shouldn’t still be stuck trying to make it into veterinarian school. I should already be in vet school, almost ready to graduate or already graduated but yet things happened and it pushed me back. I know not all of it was my fault, but damn does it feel like I’m a failure.
I started self harming again. It’s been almost a year and a half, maybe two years, since I last did anything, but now I’ve gotten into the habit of just doing it at any minor inconvenience. It’s like I crave it, and I’ve been in this cycle before and it makes me feel so stupid. I cut myself bad enough that I’m sure I needed stitches, but I can’t afford a hospital bill among all my other expenses. That was three weeks ago; the wound is still healing but it no longer needs supervision and medical care.
Everything has just been awful lately and there’s literally nobody I can turn to. I’ve been told to just go to therapy and hash it out myself, but again, I can’t afford medical expenses right now and I don’t know if I’m ready to try therapy again. I’ve had three different therapists in the past and only one felt like we could have established a good doctor-patient relationship but she transferred to a totally different clinic that I couldn’t go to just a month or so after I first started seeing her. As for the other two, well, my main therapist told me I was selfish to even think about self harm and that all my problems would go away if I “ate more spinach and found a boyfriend”. The second just wanted to talk about herself and her family rather than anything else no matter how often I tried bringing up why I was seeking out therapy.
Life just sorta sucks right now and everybody around me keeps dying or almost dying or just leaving. I really don’t want to be alive anymore either but I know if I go my cat would be devastated and the thought of her waiting and waiting for me to come back is just too much and keeps me going. She’s about to turn six so she still has a lot of life left, so I guess that means so do I.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Mar 12, 2023 22:02:36 GMT -5
Daylight savings are totally pointless and completely disruptive. They should not be a thing. It's 2023, come on! x_x
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Mar 13, 2023 0:34:36 GMT -5
After some self reflection in the mirror I've come to the conclusion, years overdue, that I need to work on my self-confidence and my ability to set boundaries, stick to them, and push out those who attempt to take that part of the territory. I have no wish becoming anyone's doormat or be unable to hold my own in an argument regarding someone criticizing some part of me or something I choose to spend my time with. So... here goes the long road of claiming my self-worth.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 13, 2023 1:34:35 GMT -5
After some self reflection in the mirror I've come to the conclusion, years overdue, that I need to work on my self-confidence and my ability to set boundaries, stick to them, and push out those who attempt to take that part of the territory. I have no wish becoming anyone's doormat or be unable to hold my own in an argument regarding someone criticizing some part of me or something I choose to spend my time with. So... here goes the long road of claiming my self-worth. HELL YEAH YOU CAN DO IT IM PROUD OF YOU YOURE AMAZING. |
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Omnisexual
🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾
Being a theater kid
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Post by 🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾 on Mar 13, 2023 14:35:40 GMT -5
I love having stomach pain so much! It’s always been a problem of mine. At first it was fine and I’d get stomach aches like everybody else, not anymore. The first time I experienced stomach spasms was I think in 6th grade. It was Halloween and my stomach was absolutely killing me, felt like I was being stabbed. Got through it though. The next time I got stomach spasms was so bad I had to go to the ER, which was not a good idea. They literally were like, “Here’s some pain medication that well inject into you, go have a good rest of your day.” So we went to a different doctor, my personal favorite, and got the correct medical help and diagnosis, ER wanted to tell me it was just the stomach bug. I’ve been on some medication for a while and am still on it. Today I wake up and can barely move without almost screaming in agony. I’m doing a bit better, but I swear I cannot keep going through this. Every time it gets worse and I can’t do anything except lay in bed most of the day and hope it gets better.
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Post by Tealraven on Mar 13, 2023 19:45:11 GMT -5
I can never get anyone to stay friends with me no matter how hard I try. Everyone leaves or ghosts me eventually.
I just want to feel loved without having to work so hard to earn it.
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Post by brooksie on Mar 13, 2023 20:15:42 GMT -5
ive never been in so much pain
i genuinely believed i was never going to go through another heartbreak because i was with her
i believed it when we said we were forever
i keep flipping between anger and sadness and freedom and hate and just so much hurt
cant even walk around without my eyes welling up
i hate what she did to me
and i hate it took her leaving me to realize how poor she was to me
and i hate how im still so sad despite that
she told me she wished i was more "dominant" in the relationship
like y would u even say that to me lmao i liked myself the way i was now i dont
damn it she messed me up LMAO
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Mar 13, 2023 23:03:56 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure Camille is dying and is the worst she has ever been. Shes been on a decline for years but over the past week I really feel like this might just be it.
Shes been so lethargic she hasn't moved from one spot and has just been sleeping or pressing her head on the floor, hasn't eaten, has struggled to pee. We tried giving her a whole can of wet food to herself if she would eat literally any of it, plus fresh water, plus just a little bit of catnip in with it hoping maybe she would play or being high would increase her appetite or anything but she licked some juices and ignored it, then dry heaved and coughed 20 minutes later.
She hasn't even really purred or meowed or acknowledged us much more than looking up at us and leaning into an ear scratch. She took so much coaxing and cooing just to do this much. We spent about 5 hours just doing this alone and kinda gave up and let her go back to sitting in the spot she wants to be in because we need sleep.
We have an appointment for saturday but tbh. I don't think she is gonna make it. And if she does. I think it might be time, unless they can do something.
Honestly I've been prepared for this and ive dealt with death so much its like. Just one of those things. I love her dearly and will miss her and I've cried thinking about it but like my main concern is over Dakota because it's his cat and he got her right before his dad died so she has been his girl through a lot of his life and rough times. And he hasn't dealt with death like I have so idk how he is going to handle it. I feel unprepared to deal with his emotions more than anything because the fallout seems like it is kinda looming.
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