Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Oct 5, 2022 10:05:47 GMT -5
dal on the topic I know you've mentioned ptsd and you tend to dump so someone who specializes in emdr and talk therapy seems like it might be the most beneficial for you? If you want to know what exactly to look for. Ive done emdr with my grandmother before (she's an emdr therapist) but it's difficult to tell her everything because like, she's my grandma I've thought about doing emdr tho, it was somewhat helpful but I feel like I need some combo of both emdr and talk therapy That makes sense. Your therapist being related to you also kinda raises a few ethical questions. And of course you wouldn't want to open totally up for risk of your family dynamic. Or at least I wouldn't. |
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Transgender
dal
riffraff by jasvidal out now
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Post by dal on Oct 5, 2022 10:41:11 GMT -5
i'll keep that in mind, thanks!
oh you didn't sound dismissive, i think i understand what you meant now. i think moving on just is a sore spot for me just because i've had my experiences invalidated before and i kinda jump into defense mode. sorry about that lol i was seeing a therapist for a while, but had diminishing returns. the last time i went was to do my psych eval a year ago, and that's how i found out i had ptsd in the first place. i've been considering going back but i'll need to figure out how to schedule my appointments first. ever since i turned 18 my dad has been having me schedule my own appointments and manage my own medication, which is stressful but at least nobody's procrastinating to get me help except for me. (i should probably stop procrastinating on getting help)
I totally get that. I thought for several years that I should make an appointment to see the therapist on campus, but never actually made myself do it until my junior year. Then I procrastinated re-scheduling after Christmas break and covid hit and yeah I never actually ended up going back even though it was helpful. Therapy is good but it can be draining. It'd be good to at least try. Different therapists can have varying approaches, some more helpful than others depending on your personality and issues. Mine was really helpful in helping me understand how my personality qualities (namely perfectionism and holding myself to way too high a standard) was effecting my anxiety disorder, and how controlling those aspects of me could more easily mitigate that anxious response than trying to control the anxiety itself. So it's worth trying out the campus counselor a least a few times, just to see if y'all click well. Campus professors are also usually pretty good at helping students with academic stress since they see it so often. I'll do that, I just need to figure out how to access the academic counselor. Thanks for your help :') |
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Transgender
dal
riffraff by jasvidal out now
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Post by dal on Oct 5, 2022 10:44:45 GMT -5
Ive done emdr with my grandmother before (she's an emdr therapist) but it's difficult to tell her everything because like, she's my grandma I've thought about doing emdr tho, it was somewhat helpful but I feel like I need some combo of both emdr and talk therapy That makes sense. Your therapist being related to you also kinda raises a few ethical questions. And of course you wouldn't want to open totally up for risk of your family dynamic. Or at least I wouldn't. yeah it's apparently legal but it's uncomfortable. Shes a good person but her goal is passing as 'normal' and eliminating the problem as much as possible while mine is making peace with the diagnosis and knowing what I need to utilize to get through life. Idk if you've seen the owl house but it's like Eda's mindset about accepting and working around her curse vs Eda's mom constantly trying to cure her curse |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Oct 5, 2022 10:51:16 GMT -5
That makes sense. Your therapist being related to you also kinda raises a few ethical questions. And of course you wouldn't want to open totally up for risk of your family dynamic. Or at least I wouldn't. yeah it's apparently legal but it's uncomfortable. Shes a good person but her goal is passing as 'normal' and eliminating the problem as much as possible while mine is making peace with the diagnosis and knowing what I need to utilize to get through life. Idk if you've seen the owl house but it's like Eda's mindset about accepting and working around her curse vs Eda's mom constantly trying to cure her curse That makes sense, plus sometimes with long term mental health issues the diagnosis and problem never goes away, it's chronic to life long. The best most people can do is mitigate the harm to themselves and others and learn how to avoid or cope with triggering things. I'm thankful that a lot of younger therapists and people studying psychology in a more modern way have come to see this too and work with their patients instead of try to change and teach how they function in some massive, sometimes impossibly different way. |
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 5, 2022 12:36:40 GMT -5
I got a letter from a penpal that was basically her yelling at me in written format about how terrible America is. What the hell. I would never think it’s okay to tell my penpals all the things that are wrong with their country and how mine is so much better than theirs. I would never spend half a letter insulting her home. Whether I agree with her statements about the US or not, that’s just plain rude and arrogant. The weirdest part is it came out of nowhere and was very out of character for her. It still doesn’t sit right with me. :/
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Post by 🆉🅴🅻🅳🆁🅸🆂 on Oct 5, 2022 14:46:48 GMT -5
I feel so lead on
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 6, 2022 10:37:21 GMT -5
It's so sad that you could probably wipe out half the human population of Earth single-handedly and you would still have people supporting you until the very end if you do charity work.  (Sad smiley.) |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 6, 2022 10:47:36 GMT -5
I hate sites that randomly play audio based ads that you cannot see (and therefore are unable to click off of or pause), and the audio is multitude levels higher than the video you are watching. x_x Or you're reading some article or a wiki page and the same scenario occurs.
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 6, 2022 11:40:45 GMT -5
To the lgbt community in middle and high school: I’m sorry if I was ever accidentally homophobic to you. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry that that’s how you’ll always remember me. I wish I could show you that I’ve changed my beliefs, that I’m a different person now, that it was a combination of being very sheltered and internalized homophobia, that I’m actually one of you and I now understand how it feels. But you’ve all moved away and moved on and I’ll never get a chance to apologize. I hope you guys are safe and happy wherever you are now.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 7, 2022 13:24:25 GMT -5
I've lost utterly all passion for life. Occasionally some sparks do rise up, but they're only ever very temporary. Outside of one, maybe two people in my life, and my cat, I have nothing to live for. All of my interests have long since faded into oblivion. I feel nothing, and it hurts.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Oct 7, 2022 13:57:18 GMT -5
I've lost utterly all passion for life. Occasionally some sparks do rise up, but they're only ever very temporary. Outside of one, maybe two people in my life, and my cat, I have nothing to live for. All of my interests have long since faded into oblivion. I feel nothing, and it hurts. Your recent posts on this thread are pretty worrying. I don't know if this helps at all, but i've been there. Still am sometimes. It comes in waves between feeling better and feeling worse. People always say it gets better but I've yet to ever see that myself so i'm not gonna lie to you and say it does, it just gets more tolerable and you find a new normal. Just try to fill the voids with things you know you like and try not to focus on the fact it isn't as fun as it used to be o how much fun you should be having and just focus on what it is giving you. Escape from boredom and thoughts of oblivion. I love you friend. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 7, 2022 14:02:34 GMT -5
I've lost utterly all passion for life. Occasionally some sparks do rise up, but they're only ever very temporary. Outside of one, maybe two people in my life, and my cat, I have nothing to live for. All of my interests have long since faded into oblivion. I feel nothing, and it hurts. Your recent posts on this thread are pretty worrying. I don't know if this helps at all, but i've been there. Still am sometimes. It comes in waves between feeling better and feeling worse. People always say it gets better but I've yet to ever see that myself so i'm not gonna lie to you and say it does, it just gets more tolerable and you find a new normal. Just try to fill the voids with things you know you like and try not to focus on the fact it isn't as fun as it used to be o how much fun you should be having and just focus on what it is giving you. Escape from boredom and thoughts of oblivion. I love you friend. Thank you, friend. :') I really need to find a new normal for myself. I have some ideas, but making that first step, and every step after, is like climbing a mountain. I really should train myself not to spill all of my burdens onto the rest of you all though. My apologies! |
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 8, 2022 20:45:20 GMT -5
Dark Sun Xeno pretty much said same thing I would have, so I don’t have much to add. I just want you to know that I care, too <3
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 8, 2022 20:49:07 GMT -5
Not a serious vent but
I went shopping for Halloween things because I love spooky month and the two main stores in town already got rid of everything and replaced it with Christmas. I scored some decorations from the clearance aisle but sadly Halloween clothing continues to elude me.
It is
still
The FIRST WEEK OF OCTOBER
Apparently Halloween has been moved to September because it is just GONE now wtf
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 8, 2022 20:50:47 GMT -5
Not a serious vent but I went shopping for Halloween things because I love spooky month and the two main stores in town already got rid of everything and replaced it with Christmas. I scored some decorations from the clearance aisle but sadly Halloween clothing continues to elude me. It is still The FIRST WEEK OF OCTOBER Apparently Halloween has been moved to September because it is just GONE now wtf Around here Christmas decorations are coming down and are being replaced with Easter stock. Like genuinely wtf? My advice: Start looking 2-3 months before the month of the holiday begins. |
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 8, 2022 20:52:10 GMT -5
Easter??? That’s wild
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 8, 2022 20:52:57 GMT -5
Don't worry, give it about a decade, we'll come full circle and seasonal events will be sold in their appropriate month again lol. |
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Omnisexual
🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾
Being a theater kid
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Post by 🅃🄴🄼🄿🄾 on Oct 9, 2022 14:13:23 GMT -5
It gets so annoying when your adult sister who's in her 30s and your almost 3 year old niece still live in your house. To be honest, my sister isn't the best parent. She hates the idea of gentle parenting, which I understand, but she's overly aggressive with my niece. The first time she does something my sister doesn't like she'll be like "[Niece's Name] DON'T DO THAT!!!" and be really mean to her. Yesterday we traveled out of town to have a "girls" day for my birthday, which was on Thursday, and it was supposed to be fun. It wasn't. The whole time I had to constantly listen to my sister yelling at my niece and being rude. I honestly wish that it'd been just me and my mother. Yes, my mom can be annoying whenever she's talking bad about the LGBTQ+ community, but I still love her and want to spend time with her. My mom was also the only one who even noticed that something was wrong with me and talked with me once we got back home.
I remember one time where my niece was about to go down the hall when she wasn't allowed to, so I sat in the hallway and put my feet on the other wall so she couldn't pass. My sister got mad at me and told me to move my feet and I couldn't. But once they passed through I could move my feet and she got SO mad. She was like "Why didn't you move your feet?!" so I said, "Because I couldn't." and she said, "Well you seemed to move them just fine when we went by!" And in my head I was just like, "Well no duh I could move my feet when you left, I actually had the room to move them." And then my mom had the audacity to blame me! So I stormed off to my room and slammed the door.
I'm so glad that she's moving out in December.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 14, 2022 20:26:15 GMT -5
Not a rant but more-so some friendly piece of advice. (That's not meant to be read in a cynical tone. Imagine a calm, honest voice instead. ) The term "going in blind" has rooted ableism that I really shouldn't need to explain. A much simpler phrase, "going in blindfolded", should be adopted in replacement of it in my opinion. Try it out, see how it sounds! "Going in without knowledge", "going in spoiler free", "going in naïve", among probably various other examples, work as well! |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Oct 14, 2022 20:49:37 GMT -5
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Oct 16, 2022 19:15:27 GMT -5
Rumors have it that Chrome may soon be rolling out a new version to combat ad blockers directly. Their excuse is, "It's for user protection, security, and safety as ad blockers are very dangerous, unauthorized pieces of software."  |
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Post by Aqua on Oct 16, 2022 19:41:33 GMT -5
I feel like everything on this planet is just "okay". Nothing fascinates me or interests me. My memory is awful. All I do is stay in my room. I go to work for a couple of days and then go to my room for the day.
My existence feels pointless and I feel like what's the point? Unless I pick up a hobby that people admire from me, I don't feel like life is all that great.
I don't need anyone to talk to, I'm fine and not suicidal, but I think I'm just ****ing bored of living. Nothing is fascinating to me, I'm just sitting here watching videos until I die. I am only 27 ****ing years old. Dying ain't gonna happen anytime soon.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Oct 16, 2022 19:51:33 GMT -5
Rumors have it that Chrome may soon be rolling out a new version to combat ad blockers directly. Their excuse is, "It's for user protection, security, and safety as ad blockers are very dangerous, unauthorized pieces of software." :sleepy: gotta thank chrome for keeping firefox alive. |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Oct 16, 2022 21:01:15 GMT -5
So. I don't show my face online like ever, in fact the forums and friends is the only place I ever have shown my face or my name, and I do a pretty good job of "cleaning up" my internet traces or at least all that I can and have control over or going by entirely different aliases for things (rip the times i was just in the news, can't stop the press for shit.)
This is only an important jote because as you can guess I just have art/furry/anime profile pictures.
And you know with that im used to the snide dumbasses commenting about it and making broad stroke assumptions.
But this time a random guy has actually threatened to assault and kill me. I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know how serious it was from his end, and I can't really do much about it beyond what I have already. But apparently my existence has annoyed him enough to make a second facebook account to keep harassing me with and I don't know if I am in real danger. I mean thankfully it's on the account that I just started using because I abandoned the one with my irl name(s) and i scrubbed that one pretty hard and privated everything after I needed to use it for family shit w/ my grandmas death.
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Post by Tealraven on Oct 17, 2022 14:54:09 GMT -5
My dad is notoriously gross and sloppy with his colds. Whenever he gets sick it’s only a matter of time before the rest of us do. He tested positive for covid today. I’m doomed (:
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Post by Aqua on Oct 17, 2022 20:52:46 GMT -5
I don't understand shit. My entire life I was grown sheltered so I never knew much about people or "life" itself. I don't know how I'm supposed to live my life, I don't know what I want to do, or what I enjoy. I can't even pick things up like for example: if a person is jealous I wouldn't be able to understand what they're hinting at, or if someone is mad I can't tell. It's absolutely frustrating, and with my crappy memory, that makes it harder for me to realize that it's going to be impossible to make it in life.
Am I learning? Sure. My friend of ten years taught me that there's mentally ill people out there, that I don't want to deal with. My only social contact is my job and then I go home. I'm not even sure if my discord friends even care about me tbh.
It makes me question life. I guess I'll spend my free time learning, but I wish I didn't have such a lack of understanding with everything. I wish I was an animal. Animals don't understand shit, they just eat and sleep and that's it.
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Post by Sand on Oct 19, 2022 9:42:27 GMT -5
I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to live where I’m currently living, but every option (if it’s even possible) is chaotic. And I know a family member of mine will say no immediately.
My life is collapsing and I hate it.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Oct 25, 2022 15:55:32 GMT -5
its almost November and i haven't received my freaking tax refund, irs give me my $400 you cowards |
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Post by Sand on Oct 25, 2022 15:59:41 GMT -5
its almost November and i haven't received my freaking tax refund, irs give me my $400 you cowards oh my god, if you could see a detail that only staff can see on irs 's account right now... I really wish I didn't find it this funny. |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Oct 25, 2022 16:14:05 GMT -5
its almost November and i haven't received my freaking tax refund, irs give me my $400 you cowards oh my god, if you could see a detail that only staff can see on irs 's account right now... I really wish I didn't find it this funny. hdshksgl i didnt even know there was an account named that!! |
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(Sad smiley.)
