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Post by Sand on Jan 11, 2022 17:01:36 GMT -5
It does sound over the top, although I have a family member who would agree with it-- she's also very spiritual. I felt more uplifted before the weather where I am got so dreary. When it changed, I felt much better in terms of feeling positive instead of negative. Since then, it's back and forth because of the weather or maybe due to a situation in my household. I actually saw the posts made by Saint Ambrosef and Cloudstorm just now and have ordered some Vitamin D drops and pills. Hopefully, this will help in lifting up my mood. At least until the sun comes back for a longer stay in late April to early May where I live. And in regards to household situations, while I certainly do not know anything about yours and do not intent to pry, my own current matters when it comes to mine have certainly contributed to me feeling either positive or negative as well. I hope both of our weather influenced moods will improve soon. I hope the same for you too! It sounds like we both need it, considering our feelings and situations. Mine isn't drastic, but it upsets me to the point that I haven't told anyone about it. Which I know is not healthy to do and I need to do something about it. Hopefully your family situation improves. <3 |
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Aroace
#b6efff
Name Colour
Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ
Villain Enjoyer
Arcane Season 2 has got me in a chokehold once again (do not send help)
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Post by Dɾҽαɱƈʅσυԃ on Jan 11, 2022 17:05:11 GMT -5
I actually saw the posts made by Saint Ambrosef and Cloudstorm just now and have ordered some Vitamin D drops and pills. Hopefully, this will help in lifting up my mood. At least until the sun comes back for a longer stay in late April to early May where I live. And in regards to household situations, while I certainly do not know anything about yours and do not intent to pry, my own current matters when it comes to mine have certainly contributed to me feeling either positive or negative as well. I hope both of our weather influenced moods will improve soon. I hope the same for you too! It sounds like we both need it, considering our feelings and situations. Mine isn't drastic, but it upsets me to the point that I haven't told anyone about it. Which I know is not healthy to do and I need to do something about it. Hopefully your family situation improves. <3 I sincerely hope the same for your family situation as well! :-) Mine isn't drastic either as of now but who knows what might happen in the future. |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 12, 2022 1:12:17 GMT -5
Chicken , if there are times when you feel down and want to talk to someone without fear of getting misunderstood, just know that my DMs are open and I will gladly listen to you. I remember us having some good conversations in the past year. Thanks, the same goes for you, I hope you start feeling better soon |
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Post by Tealraven on Jan 16, 2022 16:28:43 GMT -5
I'm so lonely it physically hurts. It's like a pit in my stomach or an ache in my chest when I think about it.
I'm so, so tired of putting more effort into friendships than the other person.
I'm tired of being the only person to reach out and say, "hey, how's your day?" The only person to initiate conversations. The only person to invite others to hang out. The only person to remember birthdays and get gifts for the other. The only person who cares about the things my friends like and the only person to actually try out their interests. The only person to enthuse about their hobbies with them and be excited for their successes.
Just once, I wish somebody would think of me first. I wish somebody would be the first one to check in on me, or invite me to do something together, or even just send a text. I wish my friends cared about the things I like or listened to me talk about my interests. I wish I had any interests in common at all so I could have someone to finally talk about my hobbies with.
I crave close friendship more than anything. I want companionship so badly.
I'm just. Really lonely. The only person I talk to most days is my mom or dad. And yes, I know how pathetic that sounds, but my options for meeting new people in a small, rural town are pretty limited these days thanks to Covid-19 and travel.
I really, really want friends who will care about me as much as I care about them.
I'm miserable on my own.
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Cloudstorm
Don’t let it kill you. Even when it hurts like hell.
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Post by Cloudstorm on Jan 16, 2022 17:11:09 GMT -5
I'm so lonely it physically hurts. It's like a pit in my stomach or an ache in my chest when I think about it. I'm so, so tired of putting more effort into friendships than the other person. I'm tired of being the only person to reach out and say, "hey, how's your day?" The only person to initiate conversations. The only person to invite others to hang out. The only person to remember birthdays and get gifts for the other. The only person who cares about the things my friends like and the only person to actually try out their interests. The only person to enthuse about their hobbies with them and be excited for their successes. Just once, I wish somebody would think of me first. I wish somebody would be the first one to check in on me, or invite me to do something together, or even just send a text. I wish my friends cared about the things I like or listened to me talk about my interests. I wish I had any interests in common at all so I could have someone to finally talk about my hobbies with. I crave close friendship more than anything. I want companionship so badly. I'm just. Really lonely. The only person I talk to most days is my mom or dad. And yes, I know how pathetic that sounds, but my options for meeting new people in a small, rural town are pretty limited these days thanks to Covid-19 and travel. I really, really want friends who will care about me as much as I care about them. I'm miserable on my own. ^ Story of my life right there. I’ve practically just given up on trying to make connections with people, since it usually last’s a week or 2 at most, then either figure out we don’t share similar interests or hobbies, or say something that was inadvertently insensitive which then results in them completely changing their perception of me, and being the socially awkward introvert I am. I’m generally just get super overwhelmed and exhausted over even the prospect of trying make amends, and then them going to have a skewered and permanently changed opinion on me anyways and never being able to return to normal, so I usually just let them go. |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 17, 2022 11:00:34 GMT -5
i hate pretentious religious people and i hate pretentious secular people
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Post by Chicken on Jan 17, 2022 23:53:10 GMT -5
I honestly don't know how much longer I want to live.
Nothing too bad is really happening, but I keep thinking of how I really have no purpose in life, like me existing doesn't really benefit anyone.
So I'm wondering, why would I waste anymore space and use resources that could be better used on people who actually matter in this world?
I wish I could just turn my mind off.
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Post by Chicken on Jan 18, 2022 14:04:18 GMT -5
So I didn't end everything like I had planned.
At least not yet anyway.
I don't know what to do I just want to go back in time to before I ever even existed.
I don't feel near as down as I did last night, but I still feel terrible, and like almost everyone hates me.
I know they don't though, this is all just my stupid thoughts and feelings, who cares if they don't care about me? It's not like I've shown much care for them either.
There is nothing I want more in this world than to leave it, everyone would be much better off.
I would be much better off.
I know no one probably cares but that's all I really had to say I guess.
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Asexual
#07B04C
star_black.png
Name Colour
Ṣanɗypaw™
The Shiny User
🎵Guess that's just the way it goes, easy come, easy go🎵
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Post by Ṣanɗypaw™ on Jan 18, 2022 15:00:08 GMT -5
So I didn't end everything like I had planned. At least not yet anyway. I don't know what to do I just want to go back in time to before I ever even existed. I don't feel near as down as I did last night, but I still feel terrible, and like almost everyone hates me. I know they don't though, this is all just my stupid thoughts and feelings, who cares if they don't care about me? It's not like I've shown much care for them either. There is nothing I want more in this world than to leave it, everyone would be much better off. I would be much better off. I know no one probably cares but that's all I really had to say I guess. I care, Chicken, and please feel free to hit me up with a DM if you're ever feeling like that <3 |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 18, 2022 17:28:58 GMT -5
So I didn't end everything like I had planned. At least not yet anyway. I don't know what to do I just want to go back in time to before I ever even existed. I don't feel near as down as I did last night, but I still feel terrible, and like almost everyone hates me. I know they don't though, this is all just my stupid thoughts and feelings, who cares if they don't care about me? It's not like I've shown much care for them either. There is nothing I want more in this world than to leave it, everyone would be much better off. I would be much better off. I know no one probably cares but that's all I really had to say I guess. Do you have access to professional mental health care? |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 18, 2022 19:10:15 GMT -5
Ṣanɗypaw™Thanks, same goes to you Saint AmbrosefI might could, but I don't know if that's the best idea, they might make me go to a hosp again or something, and I have too many things I need to take care of, thanks for showing concern and asking though
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Post by Skypaw13 on Jan 18, 2022 21:15:26 GMT -5
Ṣanɗypaw™ Thanks, same goes to you Saint Ambrosef I might could, but I don't know if that's the best idea, they might make me go to a hosp again or something, and I have too many things I need to take care of, thanks for showing concern and asking though If you can get help, you should. It really makes a difference. Plus, I want you to know that you're my favorite person on this site [no offense to all the other people]. I know we've only had like four conversations, but that's four fifths of the conversations I've had with people here. I just suck at talking, lol. I hope and pray that you find the strength to get through whatever hold these thoughts have on you. <3 |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 18, 2022 21:37:41 GMT -5
Ṣanɗypaw™Thanks, same goes to you Saint AmbrosefI might could, but I don't know if that's the best idea, they might make me go to a hosp again or something, and I have too many things I need to take care of, thanks for showing concern and asking though please seek help if you can. worse case scenario, it changes nothing about how you feel. best case scenario, you'll actually want to live. |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 18, 2022 22:11:25 GMT -5
Skypaw13Oh wow, thank you so much <3 You really think that? Wow, I really need to learn how to read people better, because I always felt like I annoyed you or something. I don't think you suck at talking at all btw, honestly, our conversations are some of the most interesting ones that I've had (at least for me) Once again, thank you Saint AmbrosefYou're right, thanks for caring btw, it means a lot
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 18, 2022 22:35:13 GMT -5
Skypaw13Oh wow, thank you so much <3 You really think that? Wow, I really need to learn how to read people better, because I always felt like I annoyed you or something. I don't think you suck at talking at all btw, honestly, our conversations are some of the most interesting ones that I've had (at least for me) Once again, thank you Saint AmbrosefYou're right, thanks for caring btw, it means a lot <3 please be gentle with yourself. it sounds like you're going through a really rough time, and it's really easy to miss the forest for the trees when you get sucked into the apathy of depression. you are more treasured than you realize. please, if there is ever anything i can do, even if it's just to remind you of that when you need it, please know i'm always here. |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 18, 2022 22:39:51 GMT -5
Saint Ambrosef<3 Thank you so much, that is incredibly nice for you to say. Honestly, one big thing I kept thinking about, that had me feeling down, is that no one actually cared about me, and would even care if I just left the world or something, but it's no longer seeming like that's the case. However, that's not the only thing going on, I don't know why but no matter what happens I just feel so unhappy all the time, I have brief moments of happiness, when something good happens, but that doesn't last long. Once again, thank you, you've always been a really nice person to me, it means a lot.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 18, 2022 23:01:03 GMT -5
Saint Ambrosef<3 Thank you so much, that is incredibly nice for you to say. Honestly, one big thing I kept thinking about, that had me feeling down, is that no one actually cared about me, and would even care if I just left the world or something, but it's no longer seeming like that's the case. However, that's not the only thing going on, I don't know why but no matter what happens I just feel so unhappy all the time, I have brief moments of happiness, when something good happens, but that doesn't last long. Once again, thank you, you've always been a really nice person to me, it means a lot. that sounds like pretty textbook chronic depression. it usually rears its ugly head in the form of apathy, and the lack of positive emotions can really wear you down. sometimes its a symptom of other mental illnesses (like anxiety) and sometimes it can be caused by physiological issues like imbalanced hormones, so thats another reason why its good to see a professional about it. and you are very welcome. i hope you feel a little better this week. :] |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 18, 2022 23:11:51 GMT -5
Saint Ambrosef <3 Thank you so much, that is incredibly nice for you to say. Honestly, one big thing I kept thinking about, that had me feeling down, is that no one actually cared about me, and would even care if I just left the world or something, but it's no longer seeming like that's the case. However, that's not the only thing going on, I don't know why but no matter what happens I just feel so unhappy all the time, I have brief moments of happiness, when something good happens, but that doesn't last long. Once again, thank you, you've always been a really nice person to me, it means a lot. that sounds like pretty textbook chronic depression. it usually rears its ugly head in the form of apathy, and the lack of positive emotions can really wear you down. sometimes its a symptom of other mental illnesses (like anxiety) and sometimes it can be caused by physiological issues like imbalanced hormones, so thats another reason why its good to see a professional about it. and you are very welcome. i hope you feel a little better this week. :] I've honestly been thinking about it a lot lately, but I really haven't had that much time. My sister has picked up extra shifts, so I've been watching my nephew a lot more lately. Everything is so hectic, it seems like there's no time to just sit and breathe, even now, when I'm on here, there is still so much going on Thank you  |
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Post by Skypaw13 on Jan 19, 2022 1:14:16 GMT -5
Skypaw13 Oh wow, thank you so much <3 You really think that? Wow, I really need to learn how to read people better, because I always felt like I annoyed you or something. I don't think you suck at talking at all btw, honestly, our conversations are some of the most interesting ones that I've had (at least for me) Once again, thank you I think the fact that you're worried you annoyed me proves I am in fact garbage at talking, lol. Because no, I always love talking to you. In fact, I can't recall even one time you've annoyed me. You always have such interesting questions and points and you're always so respectful and fun to talk to. This isn't flattery, by the way, I've genuinely been in my REAL LIFE and thought "I wonder if Chicken's on the forums today". Which I haven't thought about literally any other person, lol I know I've never met you, but it would genuinely break my heart if I never got to talk to you again. Saint's right, it sounds like you have depressive tendencies (honestly to me sounds a little more like severe anxiety, but those two tend to go together, so eh), and those can absolutely be managed with practice. Just try to find the time to breathe, even if that's just an extra minute or two when you go to the bathroom. I also have severe anxiety which affects a lot of my behavior. I noticed when you stopped coming to the forums and I did wonder why, but I never reached out to you because I just... can't start conversations. It's really hard. I'm sorry though, I really wish I had. Just want you to know that I do care and I want you here. |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jan 19, 2022 10:22:41 GMT -5
that sounds like pretty textbook chronic depression. it usually rears its ugly head in the form of apathy, and the lack of positive emotions can really wear you down. sometimes its a symptom of other mental illnesses (like anxiety) and sometimes it can be caused by physiological issues like imbalanced hormones, so thats another reason why its good to see a professional about it. and you are very welcome. i hope you feel a little better this week. :] I've honestly been thinking about it a lot lately, but I really haven't had that much time. My sister has picked up extra shifts, so I've been watching my nephew a lot more lately. Everything is so hectic, it seems like there's no time to just sit and breathe, even now, when I'm on here, there is still so much going on Thank you you could try looking into online-remote therapy? that way you don't have to worry about getting to the appointment when you're watching your nephew. idk if he takes typically takes naps around the same time each day but you could try to schedule for around that time. just throwing ideas out there! |
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Post by Skypaw13 on Jan 19, 2022 17:17:09 GMT -5
When you want to make a post in the vent thread about your abusive ex but then remember he stalks your WCRPF account: |
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Post by Chicken on Jan 19, 2022 21:02:16 GMT -5
Skypaw13You have no idea how much it means to hear that, like, it makes me feel that I actually matter to someone. I never thought you were annoying either, and I don't blame you for not starting conversations, that's a problem I have, I'm always afraid that I'll annoy people. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression before, along with other things, but I guess just now it's getting worse. I'm sorry about your ex, that's terrible that you have to go through that, is there anything I can do? Saint AmbrosefThat's a great idea, thank you!
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Post by tema on Jan 23, 2022 12:59:54 GMT -5
Am I the only one that loathes ordering food from a restaurant, seeing the picture look plain, and then getting it only to see it loaded with a bunch of sauces and other crap that was not disclosed ANYWHERE? At least with vegetables I can pick them off, but I don't need my food to look like the Teletubbies squatted over it an emptied their bowels.
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Post by Sand on Jan 25, 2022 11:10:58 GMT -5
A message for my assignment uploading thing:
Please tell me next time why you won't take x type of file without telling me. If you let me submit a psd, but you won't let me submit an indd... just, tell me.
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Post by mossecho on Jan 25, 2022 21:21:06 GMT -5
could my weekly discussion posts just write themselves? thank you.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2022 3:26:13 GMT -5
i am so scared to learn to drive, i know for sure i'll have a nervous breakdown and crash the car but i'm being pressured to drive because i don't want to disappoint anybody  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2022 3:29:44 GMT -5
oh and i'm just scared of being a disappointment in general, every mistake i make, makes me hate myself and i feel like a burden i haven't even got a job yet - sorry if this is too heavy
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Post by Chicken on Jan 27, 2022 10:40:12 GMT -5
@fuzzycat
Honestly, why do you want to drive and add more to pollution when you can just as easily car pool or ride the bus or a bike? (this question isn't directed to you btw, it's just an in general question to everyone who thinks that driving is the most important part of a person's life.)
I know that driving is a good skill to have, but it's not vital to survival, I'm an old 21 year old man, and I still can't drive.
A lot of people can't, and there's nothing wrong that, though I can understand the pressure that people put on you, and not wanting to disappointment them, so I'm sorry about that.
I guess all I have to say is that in the end, it's your life, you're the one who matters most in the grand scheme of things, like, everyone around you could disappear, but you'll always have yourself, as long as you are yourself and you're not dead or anything, though, I suppose you could be yourself in the afterlife or something.
And this isn't to say to disregard the thoughts and feelings of everyone else, just if you know you're not a bad person, and you're not hurting anyone, live your life for yourself, not for those around you.
I can understand what you said in your second post as well, I can relate to that a lot, but you just have to realize that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has their own faults and insecurities, and we all make mistakes, if mistakes were never made, then learning from experiences would be really hard, and I think the world would be a lot worse if people didn't make mistakes, because they might think that if they never make a mistake, then their insights are always right, and I doubt anyone wants to live in a world where most of the population are egomaniacs.
Just give yourself time, some people go through life faster than others, and some people don't really take a conventional path, and that's fine, it's like that saying goes, there's more than one way to skin a cat, which sounds a bit dark, but it just means that there's more than one way to do things.
I hope things get better for you, and I really like your PFP, Saiki K is a great show.
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Post by Chicken on Jan 27, 2022 12:33:03 GMT -5
I'm about to beat up my sister's husband.
He's such a jerk.
He treats me like I'm in the wrong and like I'm an idiot who doesn't know what they're talking about, even though I'm always right in these cases.
He's an overly sensitive whiny little prick who can't take criticism and who thinks he's always right, even though he really doesn't have a clue.
He may be smart with machinery stuff, math, and other type of logical stuff like that, but as for being a decent human being? Please.
He also threatened me last night for trying to stand up to him when he was being a prick to my sister, so I'm still a bit ticked off about that as well.
You know, it just goes to show how "smart" he is when he has to resort to threatening physical violence when someone tries to hit him with a strong dose of reality.
Though, to be fair, maybe I did come up a bit confrontational, but I still think he's in the wrong in this case.
I also know at the beginning of this post, that I said I was going to beat him up, I'm not really going to, he's like more than twice my weight and about half a foot taller than me, and I really don't have a death wish.
I'm tired of things going nowhere with this guy, he doesn't seem to learn ANYTHING like he'll be nice for a few days, and then go back to being his jerk self.
I really hate how he treats my sister and I, especially because he's actually really nice to everyone else, unless he doesn't know them, so that kind of baffles me as well, he should treat my sister, his WIFE much nicer than he treats his friends imo, but instead he treats her the meanest and that pisses me off.
I'm going to stop this rant now before it gets too long and repetitive.
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