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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 21:42:26 GMT -5
"You're welcome," he replied, his eyes leveling to try to meet hers now, "none of it was your fault. I shouldn't have talked. I'm sorry." He shook his head, sighing softly. If they had wiped him he wouldn't be here, and she wouldn't be there, but that would've kept going on... and, god, it was so confusing to him. God.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 5, 2017 21:52:12 GMT -5
(JUST HUG HIM. GOOD GRACIOUS YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.)
Madeline stayed frozen in her chair, palms sweaty as the silence built between them and the only thing you could really hear was the vibrating buzz of the hospital machinery, and the faint chirping of crickets outside down below. He made her so nervous, but it was a different kind of nervous feeling than the usual she'd feel before. It tickled beneath her skin, making her heart beat faster. "Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" it was a risky question she thought. Maybe James wanted to be alone, and he was just being nice for the moment. "I'll stay over here, won't bother you if you want to sleep." Yes, he did cause her to feel afraid, but it conflicted with a feeling of protection that his presence created.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 21:57:00 GMT -5
"You can stay," he said, after pondering for a moment. He turned away from her, shoulders slumping as he leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know if I'll be able to go back to sleep," he informed after another silence, shaking his head, and continuing, mostly to himself, "I keep having dreams. They don't stop."
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 5, 2017 22:05:28 GMT -5
"I'll stay up with you," she promised. Her body and mind was sore and tired, but she couldn't let him know that. It was like she was desperate to prove herself to him. Her face flushed, unfamiliar emotions and feelings and thoughts were flooding her mind. She had to quickly face the window.Stop it. Just stop it. Control yourself. She really wanted to set herself straight.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 22:20:06 GMT -5
"Thank you," he said softly, and after a moment, turned to her as he saw her cheeks redden a little bit. He watched for a second before raising an eyebrow and asking, "Are you okay?"
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 5, 2017 22:27:56 GMT -5
Madeline let herself inhale once and exhale slowly, eyes closed before she faced him again. "You make me feel...." she started there were so much she could say but couldn't put it to words. She clenched the sides of her sweater with her fingernails. How was she supposed to say anything to him or be around him if she was just going to break down like this?
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 22:58:47 GMT -5
"I make you feel...?" he prompted. Scared? Angry? He guessed it was one of those, or an emotion that could be likened to it. He would not blame her for it either. He was terrified of himself, in all actuality, of what was in his head, and more so of what wasn't. Not knowing yourself, and realizing that you hadn't for a very long time, was a horrible thing.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 5, 2017 23:06:36 GMT -5
"It's very hard to explain." she put straight out. Her stomach churned. She was scared of him, that was a fact. But all her mind knew from the time he started to handle her that she needed[him. That was all that clicked now. It was a very awkward position to be in, stuck between those two feelings. Two very opposite ones. Should I tell him?It was hard to predict how he would react. She didn't know if he was ready, if she herself was ready.
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 23:15:34 GMT -5
"Oh," he said, pondering that for a moment, before nodding to himself and saying, nonchalantly, "a lot of things are hard to explain at the moment. You don't have to try if you don't want to." He gave her a thin lipped smile before looking back to the ceiling again, hair falling into his face in a thick, dark sheet. He didn't bother to fix it.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 5, 2017 23:27:40 GMT -5
Oh, but I want to.It was frustrating. She watched him look up, his hair fall in her face, strong instinct was tugging at her to go over and tuck it for him. Her mouth was closed but she gritted her teeth. If you say something, you'll feel better.she told herself, gripping her sweater tighter. So she did. She said the only thing she knew at that second, it came out fast and unrehearsed. "I need you." she started to cry a little, it was embarrassing to act like this in front of him when all that time, he had strictly trained her to be resilient and independent. And here she was blubbering on to him, afraid of her own emotions and thoughts and how they were taking over her head. "I don't know what it is, James, I can't wrap myself around it."
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 0:07:02 GMT -5
He sat up again as she started to cry, eyes widening slightly as he watched the tears begin to stream down her face. He leaned forward slightly, now unsure what to do himself. But, slowly, he held out his free arm, and beckoned softly, "Come here." It wasn't an order, or he tried to phrase it so that it didn't sound like one. No, his voice was as soft and sympathetic as he could bear to make it. She did need him, and though he might never say it aloud, he needed her too.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 0:16:29 GMT -5
Madeline rose from her chair, sniffing, approaching the side of his bed and sitting down on its edge again, now closer to him than she had ever been before except in training sessions. It was just like back at HYDRA, he would say something, and she knew she had to obey. It was a vicious cycle that repeated itself over and over. But this time she didn't question it.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 8:48:07 GMT -5
And, awkwardly, he pulled her into a hug. He couldn't fully sit forward because of his other cuffed arm, so his head ended up bumping her neck, but it was a very hesitant, one-armed hug. He wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do. What if she pushed him off? Well, really, he couldn't blame her he didn't think.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 9:27:37 GMT -5
She held her breath at this. His actions were very, well, unexpected. But she didn't fight it, instead letting herself being pulled into his embrace. She closed her eyes and tried to relax her mind. He was so warm... After a few moments, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up to try and speak into his ear. "Thank you." she breathed, her whisper was shaky, yet at least he had been able to calm her down a little. It had been the first time in a while that her mind could settle and be at peace.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 16:27:32 GMT -5
"You're welcome," he said after a moment, though he wasn't really sure what for. Slowly, he rubbed a hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her. "We're going to be okay," he told her after a minute, voice steady as he repeated himself again, more assuringly, "we're going to be okay. Don't worry." How could he tell her not to worry when his stomach hadn't stopped churning since he'd gotten here? It was a lie. He was very worried.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 17:15:05 GMT -5
For that while, the world did seem okay like he had said. She could forget about their past, HYDRA, all of it. She didn't regret coming here, although it had required some sneaking around. She wished that she could do this every night. To be here and feel safe for a few hours at least. But that would be impossible, someone would notice. And the whole point of them being here was to recover, and then maybe be let back out into the world once it had all been fixed. She didn't know what they had in store for James, probably something different. He seemed to be...important. He had a history with these people. The TV buzzed behind him, and slowly, she let go of him and pulled back, but not suddenly. She couldn't get attached. But those dark, blue eyes kept drawing her back in. They were friends now, at least. No more having to worry about him hurting her.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 17:57:05 GMT -5
James was staring as she let go. Very awkwardly, he smiled. It might've been the first time he'd done that since he'd been brought here, and it lingered on his face as he leaned back onto his pillow, moving his metallic shoulder to try and release some of the constant stiffness in it. The smile finally dropped from his face, and he turned his head to look at her. "I wonder what I was like," he finally mused, dark brow furrowing, "before HYDRA."
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 18:14:34 GMT -5
She'd never really noticed his smile before, if he had at all. It was so pure. She had smiled back. Her face was still red and had a few leftover tears on it, but he was making her happy at that split second, and she loved that. She placed her palm right above his forehead. "I bet you were wonderful." she whispered. "I mean, I didn't know you then, but I think you're great now to." It was coming out a bit jumbled, and she prayed silently that she hadn't offended him. Her eyes were pulled to him again, from his broad chest and shoulders, always back to his face where that crooked smile of his had been a few moments before. It was kind of... cute. What am I thinking?
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 18:39:43 GMT -5
"We barely even know each other now," he reminded her, eyes traveling up to look at her wrist, though he stated it quite mildly. Maybe there was a deeper meaning behind it, or maybe there wasn't, but it wasn't an angry reminder, just a calm statement. Why was she looking at him like that? There wasn't any fear in her eyes now.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 18:51:14 GMT -5
"I know." she replied. His words were calm, but they were true, and the reminder stabbed her in the heart, but this time she was determined not to break down again, whatever the case, and luckily she didn't. She just remained in her own state, making sure to breathe in and out to calm her rapid heart. Madeline removed her hand again. She didn't mean to get so.. what were the words? Touchy feely, with James. He was right. She placed it back on her lap.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 18:56:16 GMT -5
As she took her hand away, he watched, not saying anything, just after a moment reaching out, having a bit of difficultly stretching, and putting his hand on hers. That smile appeared on his face again as his eyes darted away, back to the TV. "We can, though," he said, "if that's okay."
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 19:03:52 GMT -5
"What do you mean?" Of course it's okay!her mind wanted to scream, but that wouldn't have been appropriate at this time. She let him put his hand on hers. The skin on it was rough, but that was to be expected with all he had gone through.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 19:07:56 GMT -5
"Get to know each other," he repeated, confused as to how that would be confusing, leaning back again, hand hanging off the side of the bed now as he peered over at her.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 19:19:56 GMT -5
"Oh right." she glanced off to the side for a second. Being lost in her own thoughts had caused her to be distracted. She would need to learn to control that habit. "Yes, that's okay." she wrapped herself tighter in the sweater she had on. Hospitals were cold, she'd figured that out since she'd arrived here.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 19:36:50 GMT -5
"Are you cold?" he asked, as he watched her. He had no idea how to work the air-conditioning unit, and it was freezing, but he didn't necessarily mind. "You can sit next to me, if you want to," he said, patting the bed next to him, apparently seeing nothing wrong with this, "I have a blanket." He held it up, even though it was pretty thin, hospital quality.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 19:48:35 GMT -5
"Yes, it's freezing!" She didn't know how she felt about crawling under the blanket with James, but she took the offer anyways and got in, peering over to the other side to see if he still had enough to cover himself up as well. His metal arm was touching hers, but that didn't matter.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 20:10:46 GMT -5
"Do you have enough?" he asked, scooting over as far as he could with his one arm cuffed, and the size of the bed in general. She was a lot smaller then he was though, so it wasn't too tight of a squeeze.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 20:29:53 GMT -5
She nodded. "Yes." The cuff on his arm had rattled when he had moved over for her and she looked down at it. Hadn't it been unlocked before when she had came in earlier in the day? That was when Steve had been leaving, maybe it was her imagination. But it still looked uncomfortable regardless. "Is there a key for that in here somewhere?" she asked him plainly. Obviously, it would be out of reach, but if there was and he could tell her, then she would unlock it for him. It didn't scare her as much as it did before.
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 20:44:35 GMT -5
"Not that I know of," he replied, looking down at his wrist with a frown, "Rogers would pry it open, but I can't. My hand is broken." He held the free one up, showing off the black and blue marks and the brace on his index finger. It was healing more quickly than a normal person's would, but it still hurt like hell.
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Post by Darkshine Laufeyson-Barnes on May 6, 2017 20:53:25 GMT -5
Well that was unfortunate that there wasn't. And then one arm strapped down to the bed, the other attached to a broken hand. Geez, that must be miserable. It was too bad her hands weren't strong enough to open it. She sighed and rested her head back to stare at the ceiling and think.
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