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Post by Maplestone360 on Oct 31, 2016 20:14:17 GMT -5
Am I the only one who was sad when Hollyleaf died even though it already happened in the canon books?
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Oct 31, 2016 20:14:31 GMT -5
Yaaaay you did it, Minted! Now let's see how far I can get before my parents turn the wifi off XD Hope you enjoy it.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Oct 31, 2016 20:19:08 GMT -5
Great job, Mint! You told your story well and came to a strong finish. As a side note, I can't say I agree with Soot's worldview, but I feel like he would be very interesting to have a theological/ideological discussion with. Thank you. Yes, I think he would be a very interesting cat to have a discussion with.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Oct 31, 2016 20:21:07 GMT -5
Am I the only one who was sad when Hollyleaf died even though it already happened in the canon books? *raises hand* And I'm the author.
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Post by Maplestone360 on Oct 31, 2016 20:24:45 GMT -5
Am I the only one who was sad when Hollyleaf died even though it already happened in the canon books? *raises hand* And I'm the author. c': Unlike Erin Hunter, we authors get sad when we kill off our own characters. (Even if they don't actually belong us.)
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Oct 31, 2016 20:29:45 GMT -5
*raises hand* And I'm the author. c': Unlike Erin Hunter, we authors get sad when we kill off our own characters. (Even if they don't actually belong us.) Considering that Whitefire is my fursona, and that Hollyleaf was my favorite warriors character I was very sad.
Though to tell you a secret, their deaths have been coming almost since chapter 1.
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Post by Maplestone360 on Oct 31, 2016 20:34:27 GMT -5
c': Unlike Erin Hunter, we authors get sad when we kill off our own characters. (Even if they don't actually belong us.) Considering that Whitefire is my fursona, and that Hollyleaf was my favorite warriors character I was very sad.
Though to tell you a secret, their deaths have been coming almost since chapter 1. Well there's another thing we authors do. Plan all the deaths right from the beginning. *shrugs* So a question I've got, what exactly happened with Purdy?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 21:45:16 GMT -5
Ahh I'm sorry I haven't been able to read this yet ;w; some unexpected school stuff came up. I'll try to get to it asap though. c:
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 3, 2016 14:23:55 GMT -5
Considering that Whitefire is my fursona, and that Hollyleaf was my favorite warriors character I was very sad.
Though to tell you a secret, their deaths have been coming almost since chapter 1. Well there's another thing we authors do. Plan all the deaths right from the beginning. *shrugs* So a question I've got, what exactly happened with Purdy? Well it seems I need to edit it if it's confusing. But I was trying to use his death as the foreshadowing of Soot's powers. I guess it didn't work. ~This is my last day posting this month. But don't worry, I'll be back next month.~
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Nov 3, 2016 14:24:40 GMT -5
Ahh I'm sorry I haven't been able to read this yet ;w; some unexpected school stuff came up. I'll try to get to it asap though. c: Don't worry about it. ~This is my last day posting this month. But don't worry, I'll be back next month.~
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Post by Maplestone360 on Nov 3, 2016 17:39:56 GMT -5
mintedstar/fur: Oh, okay. I was just wondering, because, like, did Soot do something to him, or did he know someone would do something? And did he really die of heart failure or.. maybe he just died out of fear that he would die. :/ ? Yeah. That makes sense though.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2016 22:29:39 GMT -5
We'll miss you this month!
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Nov 14, 2016 3:09:26 GMT -5
Yaaaay you did it, Minted! Now let's see how far I can get before my parents turn the wifi off XD Hope you enjoy it. Well, it took me a *lot* longer than I intended (sorry for that, and I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you before you went off) but I certainly did! I have to say, I didn't guess the Soot twist, I was expecting something quite different o.o
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 4, 2016 23:18:43 GMT -5
mintedstar/fur : Oh, okay. I was just wondering, because, like, did Soot do something to him, or did he know someone would do something? And did he really die of heart failure or.. maybe he just died out of fear that he would die. :/ ? Yeah. That makes sense though. It really was of heart failure. I was trying to foreshadow Soot ability to tell when someone would die and from what. Once I edit I'll try and make that clearer as I guess I didn't. Thanks for telling me, I don't like plot holes. Soot was friends with Purdy and wouldn't knowingly do anything to hurt him, but Purdy probably wasn't the happiest to here he was dying.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 4, 2016 23:20:48 GMT -5
XD Hope you enjoy it. Well, it took me a *lot* longer than I intended (sorry for that, and I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you before you went off) but I certainly did! I have to say, I didn't guess the Soot twist, I was expecting something quite different o.o Really? What were you expecting? O.O I'd be quite interested to know.
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Post by Maplestone360 on Dec 5, 2016 7:15:25 GMT -5
mintedstar/fur : Oh, okay. I was just wondering, because, like, did Soot do something to him, or did he know someone would do something? And did he really die of heart failure or.. maybe he just died out of fear that he would die. :/ ? Yeah. That makes sense though. It really was of heart failure. I was trying to foreshadow Soot ability to tell when someone would die and from what. Once I edit I'll try and make that clearer as I guess I didn't. Thanks for telling me, I don't like plot holes. Soot was friends with Purdy and wouldn't knowingly do anything to hurt him, but Purdy probably wasn't the happiest to here he was dying. He probably told an extra amount of stories that night to make up for it. :cOh, it's fine, I probably just didn't look closely enough to tell that Soot and Purdy were friends.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 5, 2016 12:30:05 GMT -5
It really was of heart failure. I was trying to foreshadow Soot ability to tell when someone would die and from what. Once I edit I'll try and make that clearer as I guess I didn't. Thanks for telling me, I don't like plot holes. Soot was friends with Purdy and wouldn't knowingly do anything to hurt him, but Purdy probably wasn't the happiest to here he was dying. He probably told an extra amount of stories that night to make up for it. :cOh, it's fine, I probably just didn't look closely enough to tell that Soot and Purdy were friends. Agreed. It was only mentioned in one chapter.
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Post by Maplestone360 on Dec 5, 2016 16:11:17 GMT -5
He probably told an extra amount of stories that night to make up for it. :cOh, it's fine, I probably just didn't look closely enough to tell that Soot and Purdy were friends. Agreed. It was only mentioned in one chapter. Okay then! Thanks!
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 6, 2016 13:57:41 GMT -5
The attack of the spoiler tag. XD
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Post by Maplestone360 on Dec 6, 2016 18:48:56 GMT -5
Episode V of the epic forums saga: The Spoiler Strikes Back.
XDDD
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Dec 7, 2016 10:03:59 GMT -5
Well, it took me a *lot* longer than I intended (sorry for that, and I'm sorry I didn't get to talk to you before you went off) but I certainly did! I have to say, I didn't guess the Soot twist, I was expecting something quite different o.o Really? What were you expecting? O.O I'd be quite interested to know. Something along the lines of Soot is Ashfur after all, and got his powers after he died for similar reasons Hollyleaf stays around as a ghost I know, it doen't make much sense...
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 7, 2016 12:44:04 GMT -5
Really? What were you expecting? O.O I'd be quite interested to know. Something along the lines of Soot is Ashfur after all, and got his powers after he died for similar reasons Hollyleaf stays around as a ghost I know, it doen't make much sense... I never thought of that! But that would have been quite amusing. XD
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Dec 10, 2016 15:33:03 GMT -5
Something along the lines of Soot is Ashfur after all, and got his powers after he died for similar reasons Hollyleaf stays around as a ghost I know, it doen't make much sense... I never thought of that! But that would have been quite amusing. XD Huh, I'm pretty pleased with your ending tho cx
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 10, 2016 16:47:30 GMT -5
I'm glad. I had to trash the original ending for the story though. It's going to turn up as bonus material later.
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Dec 13, 2016 9:11:51 GMT -5
Nice! I'll look forward to readng it then c:
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Post by » ѕнαdσω ⚔️ on Dec 13, 2016 13:19:07 GMT -5
I haven't gotten around to reading this yet, but I scrolled all the way to the bottom and read that sneak peek/one-shot you have and AHHHHHH I love the discussion the characters have!! I've always enjoyed characters getting into the philosophical side of things, especially with the good vs. evil discussion. <3 Very well done, mint.
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 13, 2016 14:19:59 GMT -5
~Sapphire~ And I look forward to showing it. » ѕнαdσω ⚔️ Yep, and that turns up as a chapter later on in the story. I really like the philosophical side of it as well, though to begin with I was a little hesitant to go that way because I was unsure anyone would want to read a story where that was one of the main features. So thank you!
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Post by mintedstar/fur on Dec 31, 2016 13:42:04 GMT -5
Back from the dead you must come.
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Post by Owlmoon on Jan 6, 2017 21:42:03 GMT -5
Please fan me! This is a great piece!
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Post by ~Sapphire~ on Jan 7, 2017 16:14:43 GMT -5
One review, coming up! (If it seems like there's a lot of points for improvement, that's because I spent a lot of time looking for them ) ★★★★✩ Mortality is an exciting read throughout, with several twists I did not see coming! The concept is very intriguing, a clever mashup between Warriors canon and the author's own lively invention, and even a philosophical angle. All the main characters are drawn clearly and distinctly, and where canon characters appear they stay true to the Erins' depiction. The writing is also very clear and to the point, which suits the suspenseful style of the fic. I'd perhaps like to see more of Hollypaw's relationships with her family and Clanmates but, to be honest, in a fic this action-packed it might be hard to find room. Another issue I found was the large amount of information we receive when Soot and Whitefire's POVs come in, which might be better spread throughout more chapters, and the explanation of Hollypaw's part in the story, which I felt came a bit too late. The shift from 1st to 3rd person halfway through is a bit jarring; given the number of POVs, it would be more natural to use 3rd person throughout. However, this doesn't detract from my recommendation of Mortality to anyone who likes fantasy, AU fics, or just a well-written storyline with plenty of mystery and suspense!
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