♦ Fire Emblem: Three Houses, EoaNA {Planning / Discussion}

Searc: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Luz:
Rossi:
Neason:
Everyone Else At Searc’s Surprise Birthday Party:
Luz: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

*Searc is cooking*
Luz: Any chance that’s for me?
Searc: It’s for Neason. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side.
Rossi: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Searc: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Rossi: Put spaghetti in it.
Searc: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Neason: Put spaghetti in it.
Searc: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Luz: Put spaghetti in it.
Searc: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Edit:
Rossi, watch Searc and Luz with their backs to each other: what's up with them?
Neason: They had a fight
Rossi: why are they holding hands?
Neason: Luz gets upset when they fight

Luz is the only one besides Neason that adores Searc

Wow. Searc gets a birthday party? And good for him, having a sister like Luz! She sounds adorable. But yeah, screw Rossi.


Vincent: I am a perfectly capable and responsible big brother.
Sophia: Can I have a can of frosting for dinner?
Vincent:
Vincent: Sure.

(Let's just say this is one of the few times where the parents kinda do give a shit about their daughter)
Gloria: Where’s Sophia?
Friedrich: Vincent's playing dress up with her.
Gloria: He is?
Friedrich: She was upset about a mean kid in kindergarten calling her names.
Gloria: That’s so sweet of him, distracting Sophia like that.
Friedrich: *chuckles*
Friedrich: Sure, that’s exactly what he’s doing.
*meanwhile*
Vincent, going through Sophia's closet: Now these shoes have reinforced soles, meaning your kicks are gonna be twice as painful——

Friedrich: Time for church.
Vincent: Again?
Friedrich: Yes.
Vincent: Can't the Goddess take a Sunday off?

(the following two quotes are set during the time when Konstantin was still a jerk to his brother)
Demyan, to Konstantin and Alyosha: Can you please just get along for five minutes?
Konstantin: We can get along for longer than that.
Demyan: Good.
Konstantin: Just not in the same room.
Alyosha: You broke my arm!
Konstantin: There are 215 bones in the human body. That’s one.
(Me trying to figure out the dynamics between Julius and his siblings)
Neason: So who’s the older twin?
Levin: We’re twins, it doesn’t matter.
Cora: Me.

Julius, about Cora and Levin: I love those two, but they are not the sharpest knives in the drawer.
Julius: They're not even the sharpest spoons in the drawer.
Julius: Most of the time, they're not in the drawer at all. They're lost somewhere at the bottom of the dishwasher.

Julius: That Cora, she can fuss.
Levin: Fuss, fuss... I think she likes to scream at us.
Julius: Probably she means no harm.
Levin: She's really very short on charm.
Julius: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Levin: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Cora: Enough of that!
Julius: Levin, are there rocks ahead?
Levin: If there are, we'll all be dead.
Cora: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Julius: Anybody want a peanut?
Cora: AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Aww. Okay, that works. That guy needs some appreciation!

Haha, even though he's become friendlier towards his brother at some point during their childhood I think they'll always keep at least a little bit of their old dynamic. Their own time as students at Garreg Mach had a lot of such interactions. During one of their battle practices Konstantin practised that Rescue spell and deliberately stood near a river. So he ended up dumping his brother into the river, much to Alyosha's dismay and his own entertainment.

What lovely parents he has. They and Berenike could write a book on how (not) to raise kids.

The way some noble families are I bet those books would sell like hot cakes.

It's kinda fun for me to figure out what he did as a student and what his classmates were like. The stuff I wrote down here is what I already knew pretty early on. And yes, Neason needs to screw up badly enough to get banned from the kitchen! Same goes for Vincent. I think one of the worst things Konstantin did back then was baking some scones that exploded. They looked edible (which already made everyone suspicious of the food) but when the class took a short break when they walked home from a mission they found out what was wrong with the stuff. One kid just looked at a scone for a moment - and threw it against a tree. The scone exploded and a small chunk of the tree trunk got blown off. After seeing that Konstantin tried to convince his brother to try some. "Hey, we don't know if they explode inside of someone." "Well you eat it then!" "I already had to stand in the kitchen. And I beat most of the bandits today. Time for you to put in some effort, Alyosha. Go on, take one for the team." "Hell no! Make our professor eat it!" "Are you crazy? We'd get expelled if we killed one of the teachers!"

Don't forget some stuff about getting their hopes up so they can reach their full potential. Don't honor your promises. All that matters is that your child fulfils your expectations, or something.

Maybe have him go through two years and then work around the monastery. Whatever works best for him. Anyway, do you know if the Black Eagles won the Mock Battle or the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion during his time as a student? Or did they lose both? Also, any big incidents? Orryn was the one who first mentioned the disappearances so I suppose they were kind of a big deal during his year as a student?

Maybe they went with something like "Terribly sorry, I wanted to show Neason how bad I was with magic. See, he didn't believe me when I told him. In my defense though, I was aiming for that tree outside." xD

But now you see it was only for the best that they banned/excused him from cooking duty. It's just too great of a risk xD

Yay! The future of Fódlan is looking bright with parenting advice like that.

Still tormenting your OCs, I see. Sheesh, his second year sounds awful. Love his reasoning for mentioning the disappearances though. And since it's kind of a big deal some students have already talked about it to the others. I remember that Vincent told Estelle about it and she told Callan and Rekka. And the very next day Callan told Luca about it so I wouldn't be surprised if every student knew about it by now xD

Both Lions and Deer figured out pretty quickly that the ones they were fighting only served to keep them occupied. One of the intruders even laughed at the fact that the strongest members of their group were probably slaughtering the ones at the main gate right now. And with that there just was this weird sense of desperation and hopelessness among the Lions as they knew they couldn't just go and help the Eagles. I think some became even more ruthless against the intruders out of sheer frustration while others kept trying to disobey the orders and run off to support them anyway. And while most of the Lions, including Konstantin and Alyosha, never were super close to the other houses, they too were probably devastated to learn that the Eagles had lost one of their own. I like to think that because of that incident Konstantin absolutely despises assassins and secretly fears missions where the whole monastery has to be defended from those people, especially if multiple places have to be guarded at the same time.

Probably one of the spies among the church members. Not that they believed such an excuse but they decided to let them of with a warning anyway because a bunch of panicked students running from the Dining Hall is hilarious. "Alright, it's only your second day here and this was your first transgression. But don't let me catch you practicing magic anywhere that isn't a classroom, the Training Grounds or the Knights' Hall ever again."

Yeah, that works xD Or he prepares it in such a convoluted way that it looks fine at first but will burst into flames the moment it's set on the table.

Parent of the Year award guaranteed.

Oh well, the more students know the more they can keep each other safe. Or not xD

Yeah, I guess they would cover that up. Doesn't reflect well on them, after all. And put that book down before I beat you with it xD On the other hand, we do have a mission like that for the Blue Sea Moon. I think the places that have to be guarded would be the Tower, the Cathedral and maybe the Entrance Hall. As for having to guard everything else too though... yikes. Maybe after the big reveal xD

Sounds about right. "Too bad no wolfskin were in the dining hall though."

Let's hope none of them actually tries to eat it. Probably depends on how hungry they are. But yeah, that would finally get him banned from cooking duty!

Well, if the Cheriths and Berenike see themselves as good parents then Worst Parent Award has to go to someone who's actually a good parent. Oh well, I guess we'll see.

It will make some of them take the nighttime rule more seriously at least. Aside from the Occult Club, I guess. Out of those four only Grimm and Rekka have heard about the disappearances yet, unless of course Luca has told Pierce about it.

Yup, I bet some of them spoke of it anyway. But not too many people heard about it. If word got out anyway then I guess the church would have come up with some convincing lie. And I said put that book down! Or I'll torment everyone even more! Because today I had another thought. How about the Agarthans didn't kill the ones they're impersonating now but instead hold them captive in their underground city or some other place and use them for their experiments? You know, use some relics or some crest stones to turn them into Demonic Beasts? And then use said Demonic Beasts during the battle that occurs after the big reveal? The Eagles would end up killing the real Adora because of that. Neason and/or Searc would also kill their friend. And the Knights would slaughter their comrade. And none of them will know until after the battle! Ha! See, Ember?! That's what will happen if you don't stop trying to make everyone suffer even more! I'll do it instead! That's... pretty counterproductive, huh. Guess you win xD

Can't think of any of my OCs who would hate kitsune but if you have one who does go ahead! I mean, out of my two unused OCs one is a kitsune herself and would be a student instead of a church member and the other one is a taguel who has to work for the church, like running small errands and doing chores. Sure, he could be racist towards kitsune but I can't imagine him being an actual church member who could be taken seriously, he doesn't like the humans there and they don't like him xD

Akakios will probably have to eat it to. You know, to keep up the act and be a good friend. Because Julius would definitely at least try it.

Only by 'decent people' logic ^^ But yeah, viewing themselves as not only good parents but actual authorities on the subject definitely makes them the worst kind of parents. Get those kids some decent families, they deserve better parents than that.

Better not let him know then. Because if there is any information somewhere it's probably hidden. And asking the church members and knights won't give him any good results either. Which, I guess, would be interesting in itself because it would make it clear to him that they are hiding something.

YES! I'm definitely doing that now! And I guess you're doing the same with Ambrose. We only need to find a way for each group to fight the right Demonic Beast but I guess the Agarthans could easily do that. All they have to do is remember which beast is which and then let each beast fight against the group that would be hurt the most from the reveal. Gotta destroy your enemies mentally too, after all. So yeah, they'd definitely do that.
Hooray! Angst for everyone! *throws confetti*

Oh well, maybe some other time if we ever need some more church members xD

Yeah, probably. Now imagine Keres asking Akakios to find out how Neason manages to make food like that. She'll no longer have to buy ingredients for poisons xD

They'll just live at the monastery, all adopted by Philomel.

I bet Grimm would love that xD And Julius would definitely look into it too. I mean, Akakios would totally try to subtly provide Pierce with some information. Gotta make the church look bad, ya know.

Sussuru will have our heads for this xD But yeah, we somehow managed to come up with some ways to effectively traumatise the entire House. Enjoy the year while you can, fools! The last months will bring you the worst experiences you've ever had!

You know, instead of trying to start a war the Agarthan spies could simply ask Neason, Vincent and Konstantin to cook a bunch of meals xD

We need an AU where he actually does adopt them. And Luz gets to live with them too!

Meanwhile Julius brings up the fact that some knights and church members are being jerks to some of the outsiders. And a few months later the disappearances start and "oh would you look at that, only foreigners disappeared so far."

Isn't it great? They learn everything about fighting and leadership, lots of other useful stuff and as a bonus? Free trauma!

"Ugh. Sure, we won and no longer have to stay underground but it's kinda embarrassing that we had to rely on those surface dwellers."

Sounds like a fun dynamic. Philomel is probably zen enough to handle them though. And his owl will keep everyone in line.

He'll probably still try to find out more even after the actual investigation. I wonder if he'll question the outsiders xD "Dude, stop asking us about our experiences down there. That shit was traumatising."

They really chose the best year to attend. Blue Sea Moon? Assassins try to break into the mausoleum and also try to kill Hera. Verdant Rain Moon? Some of their friends go missing and have to be rescued from some creepy-ass cult. Ethereal Moon? Neason gets double-traumatised. And after that? He gets guilted into leaving. Meanwhile some people start to think Tahvo is behind the awful events that transpired throughout the year. And then? The spies reveal themselves, Akakios bullies Neason and Searc, the Eagles and Lions have to deal with betrayal too... and once that's over with the Agarthans attack the church and bring not only the monsters that were created during the Verdant Rain Moon but also their own Demonic Beasts. Oh, and those Demonic Beasts? "SURPRISE! We didn't kill those three, actually, we turned them into monsters and made you slay them! Man, I can't believe you guys fell for that!"

What about their ex-parents though? The Cheriths will need an heir. Unless they say "eh, it's fine. We still have Rossi."

Rieka, Imrie and Agnar just running from the classroom or training grounds after class and trying to hide somewhere so they don't have to deal with Pierce xD But that's okay, he still can bother Rekka the next time the Occult Club gets together.

Can we really make it even worse? Can't say I'm not curious xD
By the way, would Neason act a bit more intelligent during the Blue Sea Moon? Those intruders ain't your average bandits, after all. Depending on everyone's choices during that battle I'm kinda planning on having Callan go a little overboard with his Personal Skill (increases attack and crit but lowers defence and avoid when fighting adjacent or next to a unit with less than half hp) and ****ing pay for his overprotective tendencies. With all that crap going on during the year it wouldn't be fair to not have him suffer in some way.