Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 22, 2022 20:48:21 GMT -5
To add onto the discussion above, real life shipping is frankly disgusting and people who engage in it quite frankly need to stop.  |
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Cloudstorm
Don’t let it kill you. Even when it hurts like hell.
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Post by Cloudstorm on Jul 23, 2022 0:07:00 GMT -5
2 fictional characters having any level of a healthy platonic relationship, good communication and camaraderie between the 2 not be shipped immediately challenge = 100% fail rate. the number of fandoms I’ve dissociated with over the years is vast. And always to do with the putrid, malodorous scum that is the subculture of fandom shipping toxicity. Seriously, the morbid obsession some people have with who’s getting intimate with who in fiction is frankly bizarre and disturbing to put it mildly, and sometimes scary when people will get ballistic, and practically have a aneurysm because you don’t ship 2 characters they do. And there’s many ships people make out there, that are clearly made purely for fetishism, and absolutely no other reason. Always at least 100 feet between me and those crapfests. It wouldn't surprise me if there have been incidents of doxxing and/or swatting over someone going absolute ape shit over someone's opinion they didn't like shipping wise.  Oh I’ve witnessed and been on the receiving end of people completely losing their cool, and straight up slinging death threats, doxxing, and forming mobs to cancel people because they disagree with a particular ship. It gets brutal, and very personal. Especially with really absurd ships, of characters that in canon absolutely despise eachother, and will only tolerate eachother if fully necessary. And is very evident that it’s not because they think they’d make a genuine couple. but supports a fetish, and it’s arousing to them. And it’s seems people tend to get hypersensitive about things like that. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2022 15:19:12 GMT -5
TW: Struggling with gender identity
Hi everyone!
Sending strength to you all. I love this community and know you are all very tough when it comes to hardship. Believe that, even if it leaves you crying on the floor at 3am or something of the like. Embracing your negative emotions in such a way can be like a form of therapy. So, it's okay to feel defeated. But you aren't. There is peace & love in the future, and all around you now.
That being said, I have a couple things I wanna put out there.
Questioning one's gender identity is really tough to go through. Props to everyone going through it now, and everyone who remains strong and true to oneself in the face of discrimination.
I'm struggling with that a lot right now.
I was hoping to talk to someone who may be going through something similar. I don't think I can really figure this out on my own...
I was born a girl, and have shown signs of transgenderism since before I can even remember. My incredibly supportive grandmother has told me about the things I did and said as a kid that made her believe I was much different from the rest. She says it's ok. She says to be me. But my defense mechanisms are my worst enemy now.
I have heard terrible things come from the mouths of transphobes. Things I let sink in. Things I think about too much, and take too seriously. It has become part of me. Which is why I'm so terrified after realizing who I might really be.
I feel like I just need someone to tell me... Am I crazy? Is this some kind of sick mental illness that I need serious help for, so I can be comfortable as a woman? The truth is, I was never comfortable being female.
I feel the answers are within me, but the world's hate has gotten into me. It's poisoning me. And now I am lost, feeling like I don't even know what's best for me.
I have so many questions for my spirit guides and angels. Will my father ever accept me? Will I become a victim of a hate crime? Should I just accept myself for what I was born as? Is this the wrong path? So on and so forth. It's been... horrifying.
And to all humans who don't identify as the gender they were born, be it nonbinary, trans, or somewhere else on the gender spectrum, thank you. Thank you for being strong and giving me hope. You have so much worth, just in being who you are, by inspiring people like me, who are afraid to admit who they are inside when it doesn't match up with the outside.
Dammit, I just want to be free.
TLDR: I know who I am! It's so certain and obvious. But then again... do I really? Am I just a fool? You are not a fool! I accept you for who you ARE, not who some person thinks you are. Your grandmother sounds awesome to me. And don't listen to those people who say you can't be who you are. You are loved, and you shine brighter than I ever could. Hey, sorry for the late reply! I really appreciate your words. It goes to show there are kind people here, like you. Do you really think you don't shine brightly? I would like to politely disagree! Here you are, showing a stranger support out of empathy. That is wonderful. Please, be proud of yourself. Not everyone is capable of such a deep level of understanding, that what the world really needs, is for more love & acceptance to be present. If you're saying all this because you're struggling too, you must already know you're not alone. Love yourself, as you would me & others. You are a person, just like me, just like so many others who go through tough things every day. You have the power to inspire other people simply by existing. Kind of how I seem to have done so here, with you! Try to view yourself from an outside perspective. Put any trauma & damaging inside voices aside, as well as the hurtful voices of those who don't understand, and see yourself for who you truly are. A helper. A fighter. I'm proud of you. I'm here to talk any time if you need someone to remind you just how special and amazing you are. You have so much potential. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2022 16:41:21 GMT -5
You are not a fool! I accept you for who you ARE, not who some person thinks you are. Your grandmother sounds awesome to me. And don't listen to those people who say you can't be who you are. You are loved, and you shine brighter than I ever could. Hey, sorry for the late reply! I really appreciate your words. It goes to show there are kind people here, like you. Do you really think you don't shine brightly? I would like to politely disagree! Here you are, showing a stranger support out of empathy. That is wonderful. Please, be proud of yourself. Not everyone is capable of such a deep level of understanding, that what the world really needs, is for more love & acceptance to be present. If you're saying all this because you're struggling too, you must already know you're not alone. Love yourself, as you would me & others. You are a person, just like me, just like so many others who go through tough things every day. You have the power to inspire other people simply by existing. Kind of how I seem to have done so here, with you! Try to view yourself from an outside perspective. Put any trauma & damaging inside voices aside, as well as the hurtful voices of those who don't understand, and see yourself for who you truly are. A helper. A fighter. I'm proud of you. I'm here to talk any time if you need someone to remind you just how special and amazing you are. You have so much potential. OH MY STARCLAN-- Thank you so so so so much! That was unbelievably sweet and I literally clutched my chest while I was reading this...I will try to love myself. And I am struggling with my LGBTQ identity, and that's why I understand. Thank you so much! |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 24, 2022 16:42:45 GMT -5
This interaction has honestly been so wholesome.  Both of you deserve the absolute best in life.  |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2022 16:44:24 GMT -5
This interaction has honestly been so wholesome. Both of you deserve the absolute best in life. OH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really like these forums for that reason: because there are so many people on here who could interact, just like that. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 24, 2022 16:46:26 GMT -5
This interaction has honestly been so wholesome. Both of you deserve the absolute best in life. OH THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really like these forums for that reason: because there are so many people on here who could interact, just like that. Unless it's 2 AM where I am, in which case I am usually the only user online for hours.  It sucks being a night owl sometimes! But yes, I am in total agreement with you.  |
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 26, 2022 16:19:52 GMT -5
Dad set up an appointment for someone to come to our house without telling anybody so guess who had to stop in the middle of what we were doing, drop everything, and rush home so we could be there when this guy shows up FFS does he think we sit around and do nothing all day?? What if we had been out of town?? I hate it when people expect others to be available on-demand. At least check in with somebody before signing them up for something. Damn. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2022 16:38:13 GMT -5
Dad set up an appointment for someone to come to our house without telling anybody so guess who had to stop in the middle of what we were doing, drop everything, and rush home so we could be there when this guy shows up FFS does he think we sit around and do nothing all day?? What if we had been out of town?? I hate it when people expect others to be available on-demand. At least check in with somebody before signing them up for something. Damn. Okay, that's kinda mean. My complete support! Have you tried talking to him? |
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 26, 2022 16:39:32 GMT -5
I appreciate the support, Bristle, but trying to reason with my Dad about anything is exhausting and not worthwhile 99% of the time. Thanks though.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 26, 2022 16:40:16 GMT -5
I'm really sorry you have to go through that Tealraven.  If you ever need to vent further, my DM's are open. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 26, 2022 22:24:44 GMT -5
It is so flipping hot and humid here. My dehumidifier overheated and blew out, so now it feels 10x worse in my room. Send help and a bucket of ice.
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Post by Sand on Jul 27, 2022 4:14:05 GMT -5
I don’t like the fact I haven’t checked in much on the forums since I got sick. I tend to wonder if I’m not doing enough and whatnot, but then I remember my health should come first.
:/
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 27, 2022 4:16:11 GMT -5
I don’t like the fact I haven’t checked in much on the forums since I got sick. I tend to wonder if I’m not doing enough and whatnot, but then I remember my health should come first. :/ Your health matters first and foremost. This forum is strong and resilient - we'll be fine while you're away. We're not going anywhere. |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 27, 2022 6:41:49 GMT -5
... i wish people would stop pretending i don't exist unless they need something or want to yell at me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2022 8:54:45 GMT -5
I know applying for a PhD in history is an incredibly stupid move career-wise and I would probably be stressed out most of the time and then not be able to get a decent job if I graduated. . . but it's still so tempting. Please someone virtually slap me in the face and tell me to only apply to professional master's programs instead
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2022 10:26:46 GMT -5
It is so flipping hot and humid here. My dehumidifier overheated and blew out, so now it feels 10x worse in my room. Send help and a bucket of ice. Oh, StarClan, that keeps happening to me too...I drank an ENTIRE bottle of ice water once. STARCLAN PLEASE STOP THIS HEAT! *Sends a bucket of ice and half of Alaska* |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 27, 2022 10:30:33 GMT -5
It is so flipping hot and humid here. My dehumidifier overheated and blew out, so now it feels 10x worse in my room. Send help and a bucket of ice. Oh, StarClan, that keeps happening to me too...I drank an ENTIRE bottle of ice water once. STARCLAN PLEASE STOP THIS HEAT! *Sends a bucket of ice and half of Alaska* Thank you, Bristlefrost. *Sends you some bottled water in return* |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 27, 2022 17:43:37 GMT -5
... i wish people would stop pretending i don't exist unless they need something or want to yell at me. 11 hours later i still dont exist to anyone. lol |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2022 18:43:58 GMT -5
You exist.
I hear you, I see you.
You exist to me.
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Post by rob lucci's wife on Jul 29, 2022 20:01:35 GMT -5
hi, first time here,
Honestly, I hate the feeling of being alone. no matter what I do, in the end, I end up feeling like I'm alone. it's such an awful feeling. I feel so selfish and so much anger towards myself for having such wonderful people love being around me, yet I'm never satisfied. I try so many things like talking to friends more often, initiating hangouts, and trying to find people that have similar interests to me, yet nothing works out. I'm always back at square one of feeling constantly alone even with the presence of friends, family, and a good boyfriend.
with every friend group, I have joined, I feel connected then suddenly I don't anymore and I end up feeling unwanted. I don't know, I feel like something is wrong with me for always feeling like this, and I don't know how to stop it. it's ruining every bond I have and whenever I do try to fix it, it seems to get worse
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2022 15:15:26 GMT -5
hi, first time here, Honestly, I hate the feeling of being alone. no matter what I do, in the end, I end up feeling like I'm alone. it's such an awful feeling. I feel so selfish and so much anger towards myself for having such wonderful people love being around me, yet I'm never satisfied. I try so many things like talking to friends more often, initiating hangouts, and trying to find people that have similar interests to me, yet nothing works out. I'm always back at square one of feeling constantly alone even with the presence of friends, family, and a good boyfriend. with every friend group, I have joined, I feel connected then suddenly I don't anymore and I end up feeling unwanted. I don't know, I feel like something is wrong with me for always feeling like this, and I don't know how to stop it. it's ruining every bond I have and whenever I do try to fix it, it seems to get worse You might want to look up coping strategies for borderline personality disorder? I'm not saying that you have it, but some of the coping strategies might work in your case. |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2022 10:02:21 GMT -5
i'm just gonna post this here because i don't feel like bothering my friends about it. just wanted to get it out somewhere. i'm not looking for advice so please... don't spoilered, because it's about suicide so a few months ago i almost died and nobody in my life knows, nor do i want them to. it was the scariest and most traumatizing thing i have ever experienced, and i feel like i can't tell anyone about it... because it was my fault! and i do not want to further disappoint the people in my life who thought i was truly doing well for once. (on the "bright" side, it scared me into realizing that i do want to live no matter how awful i feel, and other unrelated events in my life have made me feel more hopeful for the future.)
anyway. the point is, this is such a heavy burden to carry. literally thinking i was going to die all alone...! i'm sure this won't leave long-lasting scars on my psyche (SARCASM). i know i need to like... talk to somebody about it, but i won't be able to see my therapist for many months and i do not trust my family enough to confide in them about what happened. maybe someday i will tell people what i did. but not now. You said no advice, Blue, so I can just offer my sympathy. I've been close to death, too. I understand what you've been going through. If you ever need anything, I'm kinda new so can't offer much, but you can still message me! |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Aug 1, 2022 9:24:56 GMT -5
>asked for my opinion on something
>immediately tries to argue with me after giving it
if you didn't want my opinion you shouldn't have asked, stfu lol.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Aug 1, 2022 9:32:46 GMT -5
Each day I am reminded that we as the human race are the most intelligent and also the stupidest creatures on the face of the planet.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 1, 2022 9:51:45 GMT -5
Each day I am reminded that we as the human race are the most intelligent and also the stupidest creatures on the face of the planet. we have many braincells but they dont always work together |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Aug 2, 2022 12:41:03 GMT -5
Hangnails can go die in a vat of lava.
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Aug 2, 2022 12:49:22 GMT -5
Hangnails can go die in a vat of lava. aww you're santas little kitten |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2022 13:35:34 GMT -5
I am moving 7 hours away from my home state(I have lived here for 7 years since I was 7, and it is the place that really feels like home to me), and I am really upset about it. I am starting my sophmore year and these will be my last three years of school. I have so many amazing friends and am on the track, swim, and cross country team. Everyone on all my teams are super nice I am so lucky to have them. I just joined all of these teams last school year. BEST decision of my life, period. And now, just when I got all this(my social life just got so much better), its being ripped away from me. And all I can think is why does this all have to happen to me.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2022 16:01:03 GMT -5
I want to foster cats but my landlord requires us to pay a pet rent of $50 per month. That's a lot of money to volunteer! But I'll probably cave and pay it; I want to help the shelter out and spend some time with cats.
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Both of you deserve the absolute best in life. 
It sucks being a night owl sometimes!
If you ever need to vent further, my DM's are open.
