vent thread 4 all

And when I made a mistake a few weeks ago she compared me to my biological dad, actually thought I would ****ing hit her when I'm angry. I know I'm very aggressive but it feels like she doesn't trust me. She also got really mad at me when I texted her during a ****ing interview meeting and I had no idea she had that. She claimed she wasn't blaming me but it honestly felt like she was? I told her to mute her ****ing phone next time and she called that a "smartass" comment, and even my stepdad said the same thing to her to mute her ****ing phone. I love my mom, but there's times when she seriously pisses me off and takes shit way too far with us. She has said mean shit to me and Caleb and uses "stress" as an excuse.

God, it's amazing how much effort basic things take when you're in a health slump. 

I'm just going to quote my friend because she said it better than I ever could: "I mean if you're going to go off about how horrible of a person your ex is, that doesn't really help your case of trying to get back together". 

 I broke up with the guy three months ago and he's still trying to pursue some kind of relationship. My friend convinced me to block him, so I did that. 

Also, his brother and I have a joke group called "Doormats Anonymous" so you're not exactly wrong, lol

I don't think you're a waste of space.
Why do you feel that way? 

i actually meant that @chickenfriechicken but if the shoe fits!

Thank you two...I appreciate it.

It's just I can't do anything right. People are constantly leaving me behind, and no matter how hard I try to do the right things it always backfires into my face.

I'm so tired of it all

I just got back from a very short "job interview" as a volunteer at a cat sanctuary where I wanted to do some charity work because I'm obsessed with cats and would have loved to help out.

It took me ages to get to the place because of multiple construction sites currently making our buses and trams having to drive long detours, a storm was raging/rain was pouring down and when I finally arrived at my destination the woman in charge of this specific project was so unbelievably rude.

Upon meeting me for the first time she gave me "the up and down look" but in the beginning just asked some standard questions like: What's your current job? Do you have cats yourself? Have you made any experiences in animal shelters before? but when I started thinking she might yet warm up to me and told her how excited I was to support them if they would let me she told me that it won't be easy to get accepted in and sent me away with the usually hopeful sounding words "We'll get back to you." although her tone suggested otherwise. I didn't even get a tour of the place or was allowed inside any of the houses. Our little chat took place on the front lawn and ended with her not even saying goodbye until I said it to her before she went back in.

We had communicated before this visit was arranged via email and she seemed nice enough in those but apparently I'm not who they are looking for. Sorry if this comes of as if complaining about nothing but I feel really disappointed by this whole situation.

At least one of the helpers was cute and smiled at me.

 Yeah, don't worry about it. Silly mistake on my part, I'm just laughing about it. 

im not the type to post stuff like this because i hate to burst people's bubble, but i need to get this off my head.

im genuinely really scared to come out to my parents as lesbian. not scared for my life, but scared that they might rub it the wrong way. they support lgbtq and stuff but they told me i was 'tOo yOuNg' when i came out as bi at 12. they think (since i have fictional crushes) that i have a crush on bf from fnf, but its the opposite. i actually have a huge crush on gf, and i literally cannot control my feelings. 

i'm coming out to my grandmother first since she's more of a pacifist, then my dad. i won't directly say that i am lesbian, but i might say that i have a crush on someone else.

I am getting so tired of them fighting all the time, they always fight over the stupidest crap, every single day, they never seem to learn or grow or anything from all of this.
I would hate to see what would happen if something serious actually went down, a divorce would be the best thing.
To make matters worse, my sister is only staying with him because she's worried that if she leaves he's going to throw his life away, which cool, that she cares about him, but there are also other people involved that aren't just him, and he needs to shape up or ship out.

If people are going to take 20 years to do something about the A/C, I at least wish they'd let us fix it ourselves so we don't die of freakin heat.

Today has just been fantastic.
I'm pretty sure someone who I considered a good friend is no longer my friend anymore, and then I found out that pretty much the only nice family member from one side of my family passed away.
They say bad things happen in threes, I wonder what the third thing will be?
I'm not looking forward to it, whatever it is.