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Post by Chicken on Aug 2, 2021 18:56:29 GMT -5
Sometimes people talk to me online, but it never extends beyond a few messages most of the time. I wish I wasn't such a failure at holding conversations. It's the other person, not you. I know this because I am the other person; sorry about that by the way. I genuinely suck at continuing conversations beyond four or five messages, even with people in my real life. Oh really? You seem like you're really good at holding conversations to me. Like, you seem like you know what you're taking about, and what you talk about is interesting. Whereas me, there's a roadblock there, but the roadblock might be in my own mind, because I over-analyze things I say most of the time. Like, if I say this, will the other person get angry that I'm being nosy? But if I don't say something, then the other person might think I don't care, or if I try to relate their situation to my own, it might seem like I'm making it all about me. Even with people I've talked to for awhile, I still have those issues. But thanks for saying I'm not a failure at holding conversations. |
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fangbranch
are shorts shorts or are they just long pants?
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Post by fangbranch on Aug 3, 2021 23:44:50 GMT -5
You’re not a failure at holding conversations. I can tell that you hold conversations very well online. Thank you! That really means a lot, I constantly worry that I'm boring or annoying or something, but most of the time, people say that I'm not, but I still worry, I wish I didn't, but I do. *pokes you* hey you, this is most certainly not your fault. Like skypaw13 said its on my end as I actually don't know what to talk about it with you and I've been using the forums less lately. Your good at conversation, don't let the mind gremlins claw thier way out of their cages juniper |
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Post by Chicken on Aug 4, 2021 10:49:14 GMT -5
Thank you! That really means a lot, I constantly worry that I'm boring or annoying or something, but most of the time, people say that I'm not, but I still worry, I wish I didn't, but I do. *pokes you* hey you, this is most certainly not your fault. Like skypaw13 said its on my end as I actually don't know what to talk about it with you and I've been using the forums less lately. Your good at conversation, don't let the mind gremlins claw thier way out of their cages juniper Thanks, I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that not everyone thinks the same, and people have their own lives and things to deal with. |
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Post by Aqua on Aug 4, 2021 11:24:51 GMT -5
My overthinking has ended up damaging one of my friendships. Honestly, I don't feel good. At all. I haven't been doing well because of my overthinking, and with the stress going on related to my family and them looking for jobs, I ended up taking out on one of my closest friendships. I feel shitty, like I've betrayed the person. I really messed this one up.
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Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Aug 4, 2021 15:22:56 GMT -5
My overthinking has ended up damaging one of my friendships. Honestly, I don't feel good. At all. I haven't been doing well because of my overthinking, and with the stress going on related to my family and them looking for jobs, I ended up taking out on one of my closest friendships. I feel shitty, like I've betrayed the person. I really messed this one up. From the perspective of someone who makes people mad without intending to a lot, I feel you on this. If you want some advice, I'd suggest talking with them one on one and apologize. Let them know that they had nothing to do with the situation and that you've been under a lot of stress lately and you shouldn't have taken it out on them. Don't let it simmer too long or else your apology may come off as insincere or begrudging, rather than apologetic. Communication is what makes or breaks any type of relationship and most (not all) but most issues can be resolved by talking it out calmly. |
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Post by Aqua on Aug 5, 2021 13:32:41 GMT -5
My overthinking has ended up damaging one of my friendships. Honestly, I don't feel good. At all. I haven't been doing well because of my overthinking, and with the stress going on related to my family and them looking for jobs, I ended up taking out on one of my closest friendships. I feel shitty, like I've betrayed the person. I really messed this one up. From the perspective of someone who makes people mad without intending to a lot, I feel you on this. If you want some advice, I'd suggest talking with them one on one and apologize. Let them know that they had nothing to do with the situation and that you've been under a lot of stress lately and you shouldn't have taken it out on them. Don't let it simmer too long or else your apology may come off as insincere or begrudging, rather than apologetic. Communication is what makes or breaks any type of relationship and most (not all) but most issues can be resolved by talking it out calmly. I plan to once the situation cools off; I don't feel ready right now, and they may still be hurt by what I've done. I also promised this person I would stay, but I left them anyway because I was upset about something they did. I overthink a lot, and that anxiety ended up possibly damaging a good friendship. I know I'm not the only person in the entire world who overthinks things about people, but it feels like I am and I feel like shit for what I did. I was pretty aggressive with her too. |
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Post by rabbit on Aug 5, 2021 15:20:23 GMT -5
I am so sick of people here complaining about wearing masks. “So much for land of the free” they say and I want to say to them that doesn’t mean land of the stupid. And I don’t want to hear how a person who worked in a place over 20 years that requires mask wearing due to other things besides covid and can’t even wear it properly by putting it under their nose thinks I am wrong. Learn how to wear a simple surgical mask properly without b*tching about it and maybe I’ll take you seriously. I am surrounded by so many idiots, it is distressing.
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Post by Fire the Watcher of the vale on Aug 5, 2021 23:34:03 GMT -5
I am so sick of people here complaining about wearing masks. “So much for land of the free” they say and I want to say to them that doesn’t mean land of the stupid. And I don’t want to hear how a person who worked in a place over 20 years that requires mask wearing due to other things besides covid and can’t even wear it properly by putting it under their nose thinks I am wrong. Learn how to wear a simple surgical mask properly without b*tching about it and maybe I’ll take you seriously. I am surrounded by so many idiots, it is distressing. yo the under the nose people are so annoying. I live in Florida so we don't have any mask mandates, but some stores/restaurants mandate it in the more liberal cities, like where I work. I get so annoyed when a manager at a store asks you to put a mask on when they and none of their staff are wearing it correctly. plus, to add to the frustration, I'm vaccinated, so it's a pretty slim chance I have the virus in the first place. I am pretty pissed about the crap the CDC keeps doing though with their misinformation BS. That mask recommendation that they were talking about a few weeks ago where they were saying vaccinated people have the same amount of the virus as unvaccinated people was based off of research done on a vaccine not available or viewed as an effective vaccine in the U.S. |
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Post by rabbit on Aug 6, 2021 9:44:08 GMT -5
I am pretty pissed about the crap the CDC keeps doing though with their misinformation BS. That mask recommendation that they were talking about a few weeks ago where they were saying vaccinated people have the same amount of the virus as unvaccinated people was based off of research done on a vaccine not available or viewed as an effective vaccine in the U.S. Where did you get this information because I would like to read it. I tried looking it up, but I couldn't find anything. Like what was the vaccine that was mentioned? Also you should wear a mask in indoor public places despite being fully vaccinated because of the delta variant. You are more protected than unvaccinated people but it is still possible to contract its variants and spread it. Mask wearing prevents this. |
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Post by ✨ ιηνєяѕєяєαℓιту on Aug 6, 2021 13:28:13 GMT -5
where they were saying vaccinated people have the same amount of the virus as unvaccinated people was based off of research done on a vaccine not available or viewed as an effective vaccine in the U.S. all the data currently easiest to reach ,and being talked in american media, is from the u.s., from u.s. citizens, using our authorized vaccines. the viral load is the same in the breakthrough cases of delta where pfizer, moderna, or janssen was used |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 6, 2021 15:02:24 GMT -5
can we not start discussing covid here pls im tired of doing it IRL as it is
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Post by Tealraven on Aug 8, 2021 18:48:15 GMT -5
kind of a weird vent, but i was thinking about how 2 weeks ago it was the middle of july and I found 4th of July decorations, autumn decorations, and halloween decorations all in the same aisle at the dollar store. as someone who frequently loses track of time, and is paranoid about wasting my days doing nothing productive or running out of time to do things i want/have to do, this annoyed me way more than it should've. i feel like everything around me is moving too fast and i can't keep up and there's nothing i can do about it. why does everything always have to be so rushed
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Post by Skypaw13 on Aug 8, 2021 19:53:13 GMT -5
kind of a weird vent, but i was thinking about how 2 weeks ago it was the middle of july and I found 4th of July decorations, autumn decorations, and halloween decorations all in the same aisle at the dollar store. as someone who frequently loses track of time, and is paranoid about wasting my days doing nothing productive or running out of time to do things i want/have to do, this annoyed me way more than it should've. i feel like everything around me is moving too fast and i can't keep up and there's nothing i can do about it. why does everything always have to be so rushed This is the most relatable thing I've read all month. I've been in the midst of a midlife crisis at age 20, so it's a whole spiral of thinking I've wasted my time doing the wrong thing, followed by being mad at myself for being upset because I'm "young and I have time". BuT nOt eNoUGh!! |
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Post by Tealraven on Aug 9, 2021 21:15:41 GMT -5
sometimes I really wanna vent about stupid politics that are annoying me but then I remember none of my peers share the same views as me and I’m too afraid of confrontation and arguing (thanks childhood trauma) to discuss it with them
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Post by Chicken on Aug 10, 2021 11:29:24 GMT -5
I feel like I don't really matter much in this world, and if I were to just disappear, nothing at all would change.
Like, I impact people's lives in no way whatsoever it seems.
Like, you see those shows/movies where people are shown what the world would be like if they weren't around, and it's totally different, but it feels like I have such a low impact on anyone, that if I disappeared, I wouldn't get more than a blink at whatever memory people might have of me.
Not to say that my friends suck or that they're bad friends, I just honestly don't have much going for me in terms of leaving an impact.
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Post by Aqua on Aug 11, 2021 11:32:58 GMT -5
There are so many fake people in my life. This includes work. A lot of people treat others like shit because they're insecure as hell, and I'm really tired of it. Some people at work intimidate me because of his anger issues, some talk shit about so many other people. I have been naive as hell with everyone and I feel like I can't trust people right now. It's an icky feeling and I'm trying not to let it get to me.
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Post by Aqua on Aug 11, 2021 11:35:01 GMT -5
Because of these fake ass people, I feel like I have to look after some of my shy friends to protect them. I don't think these are bad people, but they're insecure af and I'm tired of everyone acting like assholes because of their insecurities.
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Post by Chicken on Aug 11, 2021 11:41:44 GMT -5
AquaI know what you mean about not being able to trust people, and even though you haven't followed me back, I consider you to be a friend, and I hope that you can trust me, and I will try to trust you, though we both know how much of backstabbers some people can be. We just gotta find out who are true friends are, and stick with them, and if they end up betraying us too, well, that's just a bridge to throw them off when we get there.
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Post by Aqua on Aug 11, 2021 12:18:52 GMT -5
AquaI know what you mean about not being able to trust people, and even though you haven't followed me back, I consider you to be a friend, and I hope that you can trust me, and I will try to trust you, though we both know how much of backstabbers some people can be. We just gotta find out who are true friends are, and stick with them, and if they end up betraying us too, well, that's just a bridge to throw them off when we get there. I just feel like I have to defend myself at work and stand up for myself and it sucks. Me and my friend call out because we don't want to deal with these people. I've figured out some took advantage of my generosity too and now I don't even want to be as generous or let anyone in anymore. Not in an isolated, bitter way, but to keep myself safe, ya know? And I'm still healing from what a certain friend did to me as well. I really don't trust anyone right now, and it sucks. I don't think these are bad people. But they're insecure as ****, so they take it out on sensitive people or those who can't defend themselves, which really shows everyone's true colors. And that's a shitty feeling I've been dealing with. I'm trying to step up with a higher status at work to become a leader, and someone is saying "Why do you want to be a leader? You have to deal with the managers" but I'm learning we actually have very good staff and they listen to people so I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm gonna become a lead no matter what people say, idc if they don't think I'm ready I wanna do it for myself. |
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Post by Chicken on Aug 11, 2021 18:07:42 GMT -5
I feel really immature, like people tell me I'm not but I'm going to be 21 in December and I'm still worrying over whether people actually like me, and getting upset over dumb things, and discussing cat books, when I should be getting a mortgage and a family or something!
Like, my sister is only 4 1/2 years older than me and she's already married and has a child and a stable career.
Whereas there is me, I'm kind of with someone, but I don't really want to be, and I tried explaining that to everyone including them, but it didn't work, and if you can't beat em... and it's not like I'm getting any younger, so why not? It's not even me leading them on either, because I said we would both be hurt in the long run, but they didn't listen, so if they end up getting hurt, that's their own fault, I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is what it is.
I'm also on disability because I don't cope well in certain situations so getting a career is out of the cards right now.
I feel like I'm way behind in life and I've accomplished nothing and the clock is running out.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 11, 2021 18:09:10 GMT -5
I feel really immature, like people tell me I'm not but I'm going to be 21 in December and I'm still worrying over whether people actually like me, and getting upset over dumb things, and discussing cat books, when I should be getting a mortgage and a family or something! Like, my sister is only 4 1/2 years older than me and she's already married and has a child and a stable career. Whereas there is me, I'm kind of with someone, but I don't really want to be, and I tried explaining that to everyone including them, but it didn't work, and if you can't beat em... and it's not like I'm getting any younger, so why not? It's not even me leading them on either, because I said we would both be hurt in the long run, but they didn't listen, so if they end up getting hurt, that's their own fault, I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is what it is. I'm also on disability because I don't cope well in certain situations so getting a career is out of the cards right now. I feel like I'm way behind in life and I've accomplished nothing and the clock is running out. I would not use your sisters marriage and motherhood, which essentially rides on your back, as the model of adulthood |
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Post by Chicken on Aug 11, 2021 18:13:25 GMT -5
I feel really immature, like people tell me I'm not but I'm going to be 21 in December and I'm still worrying over whether people actually like me, and getting upset over dumb things, and discussing cat books, when I should be getting a mortgage and a family or something! Like, my sister is only 4 1/2 years older than me and she's already married and has a child and a stable career. Whereas there is me, I'm kind of with someone, but I don't really want to be, and I tried explaining that to everyone including them, but it didn't work, and if you can't beat em... and it's not like I'm getting any younger, so why not? It's not even me leading them on either, because I said we would both be hurt in the long run, but they didn't listen, so if they end up getting hurt, that's their own fault, I don't mean to sound harsh, but it is what it is. I'm also on disability because I don't cope well in certain situations so getting a career is out of the cards right now. I feel like I'm way behind in life and I've accomplished nothing and the clock is running out. I would not use your sisters marriage and motherhood, which essentially rides on your back, as the model of adulthood Good point XD Also...you remember me? XD Oh god I hope I'm not known on OTD as the person who constantly complained about their sister haha. |
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 11, 2021 19:54:17 GMT -5
I would not use your sisters marriage and motherhood, which essentially rides on your back, as the model of adulthood Good point XD Also...you remember me? XD Oh god I hope I'm not known on OTD as the person who constantly complained about their sister haha. of course i remember you! i had instant Older Protective Sister instict whenever you were talking about your struggles |
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Post by Chicken on Aug 11, 2021 20:11:39 GMT -5
Good point XD Also...you remember me? XD Oh god I hope I'm not known on OTD as the person who constantly complained about their sister haha. of course i remember you! i had instant Older Protective Sister instict whenever you were talking about your struggles Aw thank you! You're really awesome |
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Post by Chicken on Aug 11, 2021 21:22:24 GMT -5
Sorry for venting AGAIN wow maybe I should get an award in the complainolympics, but I am just so freakin fed up.
For pretty much my whole life I've been dealing with people not talking my thoughts and feelings into consideration, and I'm not saying that it should be all about me, but I feel like I'm constantly being screwed over, like my sister said two days ago that we'd go to this store and now she's saying she's too tired because guess what? She went out and about with her husband, and I know that if he asked her to go somewhere right now, she'd do it.
It's not just her husband either, but anyone else who isn't me.
She asks me to do all these favors, and she says she'll pay me back or whatever, but she doesn't, and whenever I try to say no, I have everyone in this house yelling at me, and making me feel bad. Also, if I try to get any word in to explain my side, people constantly yell at me and talk over me.
Like, we always have to do what her husband wants to do, we have to eat the same disgusting ass three meals and I can't even cook things that I like, because he complains about the smell, and he rarely leaves the house.
I hate living here, I don't connect with any of these people, and they don't understand me, they don't care about what I want or what I feel.
I can't go into this deeper without getting into possible TW warning that isn't suitable for this, but I am seriously fed up with getting jerked over and invalidated, and I feel so selfish and self centered and like such an attention seeking whine bag for saying so, but ughh I just want to go outside and kick a dumpster or something.
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Post by Aqua on Aug 12, 2021 12:15:37 GMT -5
I'm going to try to be a little more understanding with people without overthinking it so much. But it's so hard. Overthinking ruins my life and damages a lot of my friendships. I don't wanna overthink anymore, I'm just so tired of it. I gained a lot of weight from the stress and anxiety and probably have a lot of health problems because of it now. I've been doing it for years, and it's what's really been running my entire life. Nobody treats me like shit but I feel like/overthink that they are. I just want to stop and enjoy my life without so much overthinking from now on. It's so damaging to your soul and your relationships. I'm going to try to be calmer and a little more realistic about things from now on.
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Post by Brownie on Aug 12, 2021 15:27:01 GMT -5
I don't usually post personal things here but maybe it'll be cathartic.
I feel like my life is on pause right now, and it really sucks just... waiting for things to happen. Usually I'm a last-minute procrastinator type of person, but this year I decided to be more proactive and.... nothing. My friends aren't here yet, so I don't have anyone to do anything with yet. It's a college town and so everything is practically dead on top of strict pandemic regulations and a lot of the places have went out of business since they were barely afloat as is.
I'm trying to get a job, but I've been waiting for emails back from them from my second interview. I know it went well; we all know I'm hired. I was practically hired the minute I asked for a job there since I'm already experienced and honestly, I love working that job and I can't wait to work in that field again and they could see that. They're just dragging their feet in getting me signed. The interview was last wednesday and I could have been working all this week, but now it's been 8 days and not even a follow up email. I need to be officially hired so I can start putting out my event calendar, which has to be at least 3 weeks before the event. So that's another month I'm not "working" which sucks. Every day they don't call pushes off when I can start getting really paid and I wanted to start early so I didn't have to mess with that harder workload AND classes ramping up at the same time :/ I thought being proactive would be helpful, but it's looking like I'll be starting at the same time I would have if I just procrastinated as usual which is HELLA depressing and really ruining my mindset.
I also tried to reach out to my Uni for lab work on campus, but I've been blocked by every person down the list saying I need permission from x before y and y before z and oh? you didn't get paperwork from the janitor I guess we can't help you. It's been super frustrating and the only professor that can help me is unreachable until two days before the semester starts so I can't even get a head start on that either. This whole proactive thing sucks balls, I don't recommend.
Silver lining is that I've been having a lot of time to myself.
The worst part is that I have a lot of time to think and then my anxiety comes back.
Overall, mixed bag, leaning towards annoying.
Good news is that I've been actually going out and walking AND taking control of eating well which are doing wonders for my physical health, both of which I was really unable to do in my last living situation.
Tho I still have a massive list of health (both physical and mental) that have piled up over the years that I couldn't afford. Again, wish I would have been able to start this job earlier!! if only!! I need to make enough to pay for rent, food, and save enough to start tackling these health problems, but I know once classes and work start, medical problems will get worse again but I have to make money to fix them so oh well sucks I guess! Gonna have to deal with it until I can get it handled and hope nothing gets so bad that it's unfixable by the time I can afford to get diagnosed!
At least my current state of being is fairly stable. I have a roof, food, and I have time to take breaks and heal when I have bad days (physical or mental) which is a wonderful thing I haven't had recently.
I'm just really frustrated that the ONE time I try and be proactive and work actively towards making my life better, I get absolutely walled off from making any progress by external sources to the point where I could have made the same progress with my procrastination and bad habits of ignoring everything until last minute. That's not cool :/
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Post by Tealraven on Aug 13, 2021 17:01:03 GMT -5
could the west coast just stop being on fire every year please i'm getting really sick of having to deal with heavy smoke and hellish orange skies annually
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Post by Aqua on Aug 13, 2021 21:54:25 GMT -5
Mom always tells me not to yell at my brothers, yet here she is screaming at my ****ing 6 year old brother saying she'll give him away if he keeps pooping in his pants. I know he's not listening, and I know he doesn't care enough to potty train, but I'm really not sympathizing with her stress at this point anymore. She screams at my little brother and has told me I am going to cut you one time when we both argue. It has made me bitter and very angry at her for a long time. I really don't say anything terribly mean to people like that. Am I immature and frustrating? Sure. But I would never say mean shit like that to ANYONE. I did sympathize with her stress for a while, but I just can't now. I can't with that ****ing excuse she gives me every time she's mean to her kids. She raises us fine and has given me an awesome childhood, but I hate it when she screams at me and Caleb because of her ****ing "stress". I let it slide for a few months, but I just can't now. She's said some terrible thing to her children and it literally feels like an excuse at this point. Yet she's asking ME not to yell at Caleb anymore and asks Jacob to stop telling Caleb to tell him to shut up. What horse shit. Hopefully this is just a temporary angry feeling, I really don't like how my mom says these really mean things to us when she's stressed. It's made meost so much sympathy for that god damn excuse. I can't wait for my ****ing vacation by the end of the month. I'll be going to the mountains for a week, away from work and home. She needs to stop doing this shit. It's not fair of her to ask me to be ****ing nice to my brothers when what she says is way ****ing worse. I really don't have sympathy for her stress anymore at this point. I know she does everything for us and takes care of the entire family, but saying this shit to your kids is really ****ing damaging and pisses me off, and I hate how she asks me to be nice to my brothers. |
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