Pansexual
AΙͺΚ
i'm back again, fellas.
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Post by AΙͺΚ on Jul 5, 2017 18:45:08 GMT -5
Awww. No new chapter yet?
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 5, 2017 22:59:13 GMT -5
I know I'm sorry! I've been stuck on a scene and also slacking because of the holiday. I'm almost 2/3 of the way done with the next chapter though, and I should be done tonight or tomorrow assuming I don't get stuck again.
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 6, 2017 17:27:06 GMT -5
Brownie α΄α΄α΄sα΄
α΄Κ Headphone Actor AΙͺΚ Chapter two is up! I'm not super happy with it but not much I can do about it right now, I need to step away from it for a bit before I can really judge it. Let me know what you think? Criticism is both welcome and appreciated!!
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Asexual
α΄α΄α΄sα΄
α΄Κ
do you walk in the valley of kings? do you walk in the shadow of men who sold their lives to dream?
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Post by α΄α΄α΄sα΄
α΄Κ on Jul 6, 2017 20:01:11 GMT -5
dew, that chapter was fantastic! you write fight scenes very well. they're chaotic enough that we don't get the details, but it has a certain flow and stop in all the places where dawn is either fighting or struggling to break free. seriously, i'm very impressed. i also enjoyed all the leads you're dropping with the rogues, particularly concerning pinewhisker and diggy.
i did notice a couple spots where you were missing commas in your direct address, though. i think i spotted two when folks were talking to dawn, and one when diggy called pine ollie instead. make sure you get those in.
on the whole, though, this was an excellent chapter. gets the story rolling very well, but leaves enough questions unanswered that we just have to return for more. c:
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 6, 2017 22:10:10 GMT -5
ahhhh thank you Tues ^^ I was actually pretty worried about the fight scenes. I had an extremely hard time working out the pacing so I'm really glad you think it turned out well! (dawn's fight with Harestep had me stuck for a whole three days before I could figure out how I wanted to approach it, and I'm still not totally happy with it lol)
thanks for pointing out the errors! commas are the bane of my existence, let me tell you. I'll go back and attempt to fix that right now
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Pansexual
AΙͺΚ
i'm back again, fellas.
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Post by AΙͺΚ on Jul 9, 2017 11:43:01 GMT -5
Ooooh! So much hype! I know I'm a little late to the party, but this chapter was so good. The scene where Dawnpaw wakes up and gets attacked gave me serious goosebumps. I felt like I was the one being ambushed. Keep up the great work!
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 9, 2017 19:00:56 GMT -5
Thanks so much Air ^^ I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far! I actually rewrote the start of the battle (when Dawnpaw first wakes up and finds Stonefoot) three times before I was happy with it haha
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 13, 2017 16:13:39 GMT -5
Anyone wanna chat with me while I do some hardcore plotting? ouo
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Post by shortstop on Jul 15, 2017 13:52:37 GMT -5
Dew, this is fantastic so far! Please fan me, I've missed you so much!
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 16, 2017 12:45:13 GMT -5
ahhhhh hi!!!!! (I was confused until I looked on your profile haha. I like the new name!) I missed you too! And I'm glad you like the story c;
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Post by shortstop on Jul 16, 2017 18:48:42 GMT -5
lol i forget about that sometimes I love this so much! It's so good to read your writing again and remember just how addictive it is!
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 16, 2017 20:26:57 GMT -5
yeah, it's been good for me to remember how much I enjoy writing haha. haven't done it in a while, glad I haven't lost all of my progress
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Post by shortstop on Jul 16, 2017 20:32:43 GMT -5
nope, you done good frienderini. Reading so much warriors fanfic kind of inspires me to get off my butt and start writing again, especially seeing as I've got so much free time this summer
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 16, 2017 20:51:05 GMT -5
that's what did it for me, actually. I haven't had this much free time in ages. I start college in a little over a month though, so it's gonna be hard to keep up with it after that, but I'll do my best
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Post by shortstop on Jul 17, 2017 13:07:04 GMT -5
I keep forgetting how much older you are than me lol Don't worry about updating or keeping up, doing what makes you happy is most important
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 17, 2017 13:51:51 GMT -5
I thought only by like a year or two? thanks ^^ (I don't know what to call you now haha. I keep wanting to say "Win" out of habit. How do you feel about Shorty? or just Short?) The trouble is, writing does make me happy. Time commitments are just such a struggle
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 23, 2017 20:45:36 GMT -5
Only one week left of the BBFC, and then I can get back to focusing on this! Been doing some brainstorming in the meantime, mostly for character development and the ending. Trying to make it all believable yet still exciting, which will take work but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless.
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Post by Redfleck on Jul 26, 2017 6:44:45 GMT -5
Your writing is so....capturing? It just never gets boring when I read this. Fan me? If you'll still be updating this, that is.
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Post by Dewstripe on Jul 26, 2017 15:44:32 GMT -5
Oh my goodness thank you! I'm so glad you like it! I'll add you right now (I am definitely still going to be updating this, just not until August)
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Post by Dewstripe on Aug 1, 2017 17:24:02 GMT -5
bump because it's officially August which means the BBFC is officially over which means Mind Games is officially my number one writing priority again!
I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on August 8th (cri) so I'm going to do my absolute best to get chapter three up before then because I will likely be too delirious and/or in pain to write for a few days following
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Pansexual
AΙͺΚ
i'm back again, fellas.
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Post by AΙͺΚ on Aug 10, 2017 22:59:57 GMT -5
Β» Pssssst. When will chapter 3 be done? ;v; Β«
β
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Post by Dewstripe on Aug 11, 2017 15:00:11 GMT -5
Hey there! As of right now, I'm shooting for tomorrow night, and if not then for sure by Monday night.
I am currently post-wisdom teeth, so between the pain and the pain meds it's kinda hard to focus for long periods of time. I'm really sorry for the wait. I'm hopeful that, come September, I can start some kind of schedule and get chapters up more consistently and frequently.
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Pansexual
AΙͺΚ
i'm back again, fellas.
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Post by AΙͺΚ on Aug 12, 2017 0:43:19 GMT -5
Β» No rush! I'm pretty stoked for the next chapter, but waiting won't kill me xD I hope you feel well soon.~ Β«
β
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Hyenafang
"I do not support Seaworld or any Marine Parks that exploit Cenaceans!"
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Post by Hyenafang on Aug 12, 2017 2:44:01 GMT -5
This is really good. I can't wait for more! Can I be a fan?
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Hyenafang
"I do not support Seaworld or any Marine Parks that exploit Cenaceans!"
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Post by Hyenafang on Aug 12, 2017 2:44:52 GMT -5
shortstop I love your avatar. Sandcat!
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Post by Dewstripe on Aug 12, 2017 8:34:54 GMT -5
Aw thanks c: I'm mostly just looking forward to being able to eat solid food again. You can only have so much applesauce and ice cream. & hey, I'm glad you're excited! it's super motivating for me lol. I'm babysitting for most of the day today, so depending on how well behaved the children are, I'll hopefully get (at least most of) chapter three done
Added!! Glad you like it (:
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Post by Dewstripe on Aug 12, 2017 23:42:29 GMT -5
okay, I didn't get nearly as much done as I hoped, sorry guys ^^' excluding any unforeseen circumstances, I'll get chapter three up before I go to bed on Monday. this time I mean it lol
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Post by Brownie on Aug 13, 2017 10:59:42 GMT -5
ahhh just got caught up.
Things are going down fast
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