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Post by Dewstripe on Aug 24, 2016 20:31:52 GMT -5
chapter one
β - The sight of the full moon is enough to make my heart race.
Just goes to show how strong the power of association can be. The full moon means a gathering, and a gathering means blood. Itβs all Iβve ever known. My pelt still aches with the scratches from the previous dayβs battle, but Toadstar chose me for the gathering anyway. As always, what Toadstar says, goes.
βWhy are you making that face?β
Yet another typical occurrence: my best friend dragging me out of my thoughts. βWhat face?β I question, wrinkling my nose.
βThat one,β Thistlepaw chuckles. βThat one right there. Makes you look like you have to use the dirtplace or something.β
I gasp indignantly and ram his shoulder with mine. βCome off it, fuzz ball.β
He winces, and I immediately feel guilty. I forgot that he pulled a muscle in a fight the other dayβ¦ Itβs a wonder that Toadstar wants the two of us at what is certain to be a battle, considering our wounds. But at least we arenβt nest-ridden like Silverpaw and Lakepaw.
βSorry,β I murmur. He returns a reassuring smile.
Our banter-turned-awkward-moment is interrupted by Toadstarβs yowl. βShadowClan,β he proclaims from the Highbranch. The moonlight, undisturbed by any clouds, makes his silvery-brown pelt seem to almost glow. βAs many of you are aware, we received a message from RiverClan today. Echostrike came to our camp to speak with me peacefully this morning.β
At this, my ears perk forward. Thistlepaw and I had noticed the RiverClan deputy arrive and disappear into the leaderβs den with Toadstar and a few senior warriors. The curiosity nearly killed us. Weβve had to grow up pretty quickly, considering the circumstances, but some things never change. Even as kits, though, we were never successful at listening in on the older cats. Thistlepaw could never sit still, and his fur sticking out every which way made it hard to be subtle. We share a glance, eagerness pouring off us in waves.
βIβll spare you the lengthy details of our discussion for now,β Toadstar continues. Thistlepaw visibly deflates, and I would chuckle if I wasnβt equally disappointed. βIβm expecting you all to be on your absolute best behavior tonight. No picking fights with RiverClan or WindClan. All of the other Clans are under the same orders. If I learn that any of you starts an argument, Iβll skin you personally. Is that clear?β
There are some scattered mumbles among my Clanmates, and we all nod collectively. Our pelts are bristling at the thought of playing nice, but there are no protests. Even Blizzardclaw and his cronies keep their mouths shut, which is its own shock. The black-and-white tom is usually the first to speak in favor of a battle, but something about his expression seems almost⦠smug.
βDo you think this means Toadstar made a deal with RiverClan?β Thistlepaw whispers. Heβs quickly shushed by my father, Pinewhisker. I hadnβt even realized he was sitting behind us. Thatβs just Pinewhiskerβs way, though. You never know heβs there unless he wants you to.
As Toadstar leads us all out of camp, I catch my fatherβs eye and he winks at me. His vibrant green eyes are a perfect reflection of my own, but our similarities stop there. His dark brown pelt, with a darker stripe all along his back, is riddled with scars. From what Iβm told, I look much more like my mother. Supposedly we share the same gray fur and white chest, but I wouldnβt know. She, along with my two siblings, died before I even opened my eyes.
βYouβre making the face again,β Thistlepaw teases, nudging me gently. βWhatβre you thinking about?β
βThe gathering,β I lie. Although, once Iβve said it, I realize I am kind of wondering.
βMe too,β Thistlepaw mews. βDo you really think itβll be peaceful?β
I open my mouth to say not a chance in the Dark Forest, but Pinewhisker cuts me off. βI sure hope so. And just so you know, if you two cause any trouble, Toadstar wonβt be the only one skinning you.β
βYes Pinewhisker,β we mumble in unison. My father nods, seeming content with our agreement, and walks off to speak with Berrytail, our medicine cat.
Thistlepaw and I walk the rest of the way in comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. A cloud passes over the moon, draping us in shadow as we reach the border. I fail to suppress a shiver. Toadstar signals with his tail, and we trudge into RiverClan territory. The sand tickles my paws, and I do my best to ignore it. Even as close as we can get to the lakeβs edge, we donβt feel safe. My fur stands on end and I wrinkle my nose from the reek of fish. Oh, how I hate gatherings.
The moon reappears just as we reach the island. RiverClan must either already be across or running late because we didnβt see a single cat on the way. Which is unusual for a gathering. RiverClan usually insists on escorting us around the lake, as if we might try to take some of their disgusting fish. Once, when tensions were particularly high, they even ambushed us on the way. StarClan hasnβt spoken to any of the medicine cats since. Most of us have tried to uphold the truce during gatherings, to please StarClan if nothing else, but it always ends in fighting anyway. Last moon ThunderClan didnβt even show up.
The last few cats of ThunderClan are just crossing the fallen tree to the island when we reach it. Toadstar gives a curt nod to ThunderClanβs deputy, Flamestep. The ginger tabby tom nods back and follows his Clanmates without a word. Now that I think about it, no one seems to be speaking at all. Even at this distance, the island seems eerily quiet. The soft chirping of crickets blankets the air, and wind whispers through the trees, but thereβs none of the usual bickering. As always, Toadstar is the first to step onto the log with Berrytail close behind him.
βDoes it seem weirdly quiet to you?β I murmur to Thistlepaw beside me. He nods solemnly.
Soon, itβs our turn to cross. Pinewhisker is waiting at the edge with Nightflower, our deputy, talking quietly. I cast him a worried glance as I approach, and he gives me a small yet reassuring smile. Thankfully it hasnβt rained recently, so the log isnβt too slippery, but I hurry across all the same. Thistlepaw joins me moments later.
As we step through the undergrowth and into the clearing, Iβm surprised to find that ShadowClan is the last to arrive. Itβs only quiet because everyone is keeping to themselves; cats from each Clan are sitting close together, only speaking to their own Clanmates in hushed voices if at all. I shoot Thistlepaw a look, and he shrugs in response. We sit near my mentor, Swiftpelt, but donβt speak. Suddenly, I get the feeling of being watched, and glance up to see Minnowpaw and her brother Olivepaw looking at me and whispering. When they catch me looking, they just smirk.
At the sight of them, a snarl rises in my throat. Those RiverClan bratsβ¦ Minnowpaw is the one that wrenched Thistlepawβs shoulder yesterday. Thistlepaw sets his bushy tail across my paws, reminding me weβre supposed to be well-behaved. I let the snarl die, but my pelt remains bristled. I sheathe and unsheathe my claws, wishing I could bury them into Olivepawβs spotted pelt.
Thistlepaw taps me with his tail again. βTheyβre not worth it, Dawnpaw.β
I let out a little βhmph,β in complaint, but I know heβs right. I sit taller, trying to show those fish-pelts that Iβm above them, and turn to watch the leaders settling in. To my surprise, Toadstar is sitting next to RiverClanβs leader, Stormstar, and they seem to be speaking calmly. I donβt think Iβve ever seen the two of them do anything other than argue. Equally shocking, Willowstar of ThunderClan and Lizardstar of WindClan also appear to be somewhat at ease. Not comfortable, necessarily, but also not murderous.
For as long as I can remember, all four Clans have been at war. For the most part, ShadowClan and ThunderClan are at least civil, and same with RiverClan and WindClan. But on the flip side, ThunderClan and WindClan hate each otherβs guts. Being a ShadowClan cat myself, thereβs nothing worse than a RiverClan cat. Supposedly it all began with simple border disputes until some cats took it too far. Hardly anyone concerns themselves with the warrior code these days. Not since deaths during battle became commonplace.
According to Pinewhisker, it wasnβt always like this. But until just now, I found that hard to imagine.
βWelcome, everyone,β Stormstar calls out. The sound of her voice makes me tense, but I tell myself to be calm. βToday is a momentous day, and Iβm sure youβre all very anxious to hear what we have to say.β
A few cats chuckle nervously, but most of us remain silent.
Willowstar speaks up next. βAs many of you know, all four leaders have been communicating peacefully today, and it is past time we reach an agreement. It is time we stop the bloodshed.β
The silence finally breaks, like a wave crashing over our heads. Whispers erupt from all four Clans as the full weight of her words sets in.
βAre you saying weβre all calling a truce?β a ThunderClan cats speaks up.
Someone from RiverClan yells out, βYou canβt possibly expect us to just go back to the way things were!β
The talking only gets louder from there, cats from every Clan trying to make themselves heard over everyone else.
βQUIET!β Toadstar yowls above the din. βI understand that this wonβt be easy. For any of us. And no one expects you to act like nothing happened. This fighting has impacted everyone immensely. Weβve all lost someone important to us. But that is exactly why we need peace. If things continue this way, there might not be Clans to defend anymore.β
I spare a glance at my Clanmates, and while most of them look uncertain, many appear grateful. Iβm startled to realize that I donβt feel relieved. It just hasnβt sunk in yet, I tell myself. But a deep, ugly part of me canβt help but be disappointed. Iβm good at fighting. Always have been. What will I do when I canβt prove myself in battle anymore?
The rest of the gathering goes by in a blur as the leaders explain the conditions of this truce. The borders are to be reinstated in their original locations. All prisoners of war must be returned to their home Clan. The medicine cats of each Clan will get together and share herbs as necessary to return everyone to full strength. If any Clan breaks this truce, they will face the wrath of all of the other Clans, united. If the truce holds, the next gathering will be a celebration. As for tonight, everyone will return to their camps and get a much-needed nightβs rest.
βDo you think the truce will hold?β Thistlepaw whispers to me as we prepare to leave the island. His eyes are wide, whether in worry or curiosity I canβt tell.
βHard to say,β I reply vaguely, afraid to voice my own doubts.
βIt will,β Pinewhisker buts in once more. βThis peace has been a long time coming.β
If thatβs true, I think bitterly. Why does it feel all wrong? My eyes find the bright pelt of Blizzardclaw, who is talking to a WindClan cat named Smokeheart.
"Why didn't Blizzardclaw say anything?" I wonder aloud. "I donβt think he's never been quiet during a gathering."
"He was just obeying orders, Dawnpaw," Pinewhisker reassures me, nudging me towards the fallen tree. "Now stop your worrying. It's time to go home."
I go without complaint, but I can't keep down my unease. I nearly slip crossing because I'm not paying attention, and receive due teasing from Thistlepaw for it. During the walk back to camp, everyone is in an entirely different mood. The air itself feels lighter somehow, and Thistlepaw chatters away as we walk. I nod appropriately, but let him do most of the talking. I catch Pinewhisker looking at me, and smile at him like everything is fine. Because it is.
At least, that's what I tell myself. chapter twoβ - Iβve hardly stepped foot inside camp before Iβm attacked.
Tiny kitten claws pierce my already aching pelt, and I have to make a conscious effort not to launch Thornkit and Petalkit from my back. Donβt get me wrong, those kits are like the siblings I never had and I love them dearly, but you have got to be kidding me.
βKits! Leave poor Dawnpaw alone!β Iβm relieved to see Honeysong, the mother of the little monsters on my back, bounding over.
βBut maaaaa,β Thornkit starts to whine.
βNo buts,β Honeysong scolds her son. βEnough.β Thankfully, both kits release their death grip on my fur. Honeysong smiles apologetically. βIβm sorry, Dawnpaw. Those two have been just full of nervous energy since you all left, I couldnβt get them to go to sleep. Iβm glad youβre back.β
I spot the third kit in the litter, Cloverkit, peering around her momβs long ginger legs, green eyes wide with concern. βWas there any fighting?β she squeaks.
I open my mouth to say no when Swiftpelt, who also happens to be Honeysongβs mate, walks up. βThe leaders have agreed to a truce,β he purrs, nuzzling his daughter in greeting. βThe war is finally over.β
βGreat StarClan,β Honeysong gushes. βTruly? Weβre at peace?β
Swiftpelt grins and licks her ear. βI hardly believe it myself, but yes. Iβm sure Toadstar will discuss the terms with the entire Clan tomorrow. But for now, letβs get you all to the nursery.β
βBut I wanna play with Dawnpaw,β Petalkit protests.
βTomorrow,β I say, prodding her with my paw. βBut we all need to get some sleep first, okay?β
βOkay,β she grumbles. I sit and watch as the whole family pads off towards the nursery, Honeysong and Swiftpelt pressed together as if they canβt stand to be a whiskerβs length apart. Thornkit pounces on Petalkit, and the two tumble all the way to the den. Cloverkit lags behind, too gentle for her own good. Sheβs sure to be our next medicine cat β she doesnβt have a mean bone in her body.
As if reading my thoughts, Berrytail pads up beside me. βHello, Dawnpaw. Off to your den?β
βOh, uh, yeah,β I reply, biting back a yawn. βIβm pretty exhausted.β
βMind if I talk to you for a moment first?β
I shrug. βSure. Is everything okay?β
βYou tell me,β he says, sitting down and wrapping his tail around his paws. βYou seem a bit down, all things considered. Anything I should know?β
βJust tired,β I lie.
His amber eyes study me for a long while as if waiting for me to continue, but I donβt say anything else. Eventually, he breaks the silence. βWell, if you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me.β
βYeah, thanks Berrytail,β I mumble, confused.
βGoodnight Dawnpaw,β he mews, standing to leave. βEnjoy your rest. Iβm sure everything will look different in the morning.β
Whatβs that supposed to mean, exactly?
I notice the spiky-furred form of Thistlepaw walking over, shooting a confused glance after Berrytail as he leaves. βWhat was that about?β he questions.
βI havenβt the slightest idea,β I say, shaking my head. βItβs like he talks exclusively in riddles.β
Thistlepaw chuckles and brushes me with his tail. βWell letβs get to bed, itβs been a long day.β
The two of us pad off to the apprenticesβ den. I glance over my shoulder, surprised to see Berrytail watching me. When he realizes I see him, he nods and disappears inside his den. I shake my head to clear it. What a weird day.
Thistlepaw tells me how he already told Silverpaw and Lakepaw, his siblings, all about the gathering. βYou shouldβve seen their faces!β he declares. βThey were even more surprised than me. Not to mention Silverpaw was just seething with jealousy because she wasnβt there to see it herself.β
I laugh absent-mindedly, picturing the tabby she-cat glaring at her brother. βSheβll get over it.β
We stop talking as we creep into the den, where I can see the sleeping forms of said siblings. Without a sound, Thistlepaw and I both settle into our nests, and the weight of the day crashes over me. Iβm even more tired than I thought. I think back to what Berrytail said, tossing his words around in my mind. How did he know I wasnβt as excited as everyone else? I tried to seem relievedβ¦
I start to ask Thistlepaw what he thinks about the truce, but heβs already snoring. Loudly. I sigh, but not long after I close my eyes, Iβm out too.
- - -
Iβm startled awake, and at first, I donβt know why. My mind is foggy with the remnants of a nightmare I canβt remember. I blink quickly as my eyes adjust to the darkβitβs not yet morning.
βThistlepaw, wake up!β I whisper, nudging him with my paw.
His snores are cut off and his yellow eyes open slightly. βHmmm?β
βI think I heard something outside.β
He rolls his eyes and turns so heβs no longer facing me. βYou were probably dreaming, go back to sleep.β
The feeling of my nightmare lingers like a bad taste in my mouth. I know thereβs no way Iβll be able to fall back asleep, so I step outside into the night. The cold air fills my lungs and wakes me up, clearing my mind of its fog. Thatβs when I realize something really is wrong. First, I notice the metallic scent of blood stinging the air. Then, I see the source.
Stonefoot, Thistlepawβs father, lays near the camp entrance unmoving. At first, I think he fell asleep on watch, but then I see the small brown she-cat standing over him, grinning wickedly. Stonefootβs dark gray pelt is stained crimson and his pale green eyes stare ahead lifelessly.
Before I get the chance to scream, something slams into my side. This time, it isnβt kitten claws that prick my pelt. I hit the ground with a thud, the breath knocked cleanly from my lungs. I slide across the dirt floor, gasping desperately for air. A black and gray tom stands over me, eyes like stone. Heβs no RiverClan catβ¦ Behind him, Thistlepaw emerges from the den, blinking sleepily.
βDawnpaw, I mean it-β he begins, then realizes whatβs going on. I try to gasp for help, but no sound escapes. Thankfully, Thistlepaw does it for me. βWe're under attack!β he caterwauls.
Just like that, the forest erupts. Dark shapes leap from the shadows, teeth and claws glinting in the moonlight. Just as quickly, ShadowClan cats begin to emerge from their dens. Weβve grown accustomed to sleeping lightly. As a full-on battle begins around me, I catch my breath and leap to my paws. The gray and black tom swipes a paw at my face, and suddenly I come alive.
Everything else fades as I lock my eyes on my enemy. I unsheathe my claws and lunge in a single movement. Blood roars in my ears. The tom dodges my swipe and kicks out with his hind legs rapidly. I try to jump out of the way, but Iβm too slow. I tumble back to the ground. The tom grins as if heβs already won, but I lash out. My claws rake his chest before he leaps back. My heart races at the sight of his blood.
We go back and forth like that a few more times, both of us landing a few scrapes but mostly dodging. I get in a lucky hit to his right ear, stunning him for a moment. His muddy green eyes widen as he stumbles back. In my triumph, my mind opens to the devastation occurring around me. I hear a single yowl above the clamor: βTHE NURSERY!β
While my opponent is still stunned, I turn tail and race towards the nursery without another thought. Before I even reach it, I spot the gray form of Duskheart, our only elder, lying motionless just outside the bramble den. StarClan noβ¦ Iβm about to pick up speed when Iβm tackled from behind. Iβm instantly on my back, pinned to the ground. A very dangerous place to be. I whip my gaze upwards, expecting to see the gray and black tom whoβd attacked me before. Instead, I lock eyes with a spotted brown tom. I lose my breath once more, but not from the impact this time.
βHarestep?β I say incredulously. βWhat are you doing?β
He gives me a devious grin in reply. His claws dig into my shoulders, and I gasp out in pain. βJaggedflight said I should leave you alone, but whereβs the fun in that?β
My eyes widen in horror. βWhat are you-β I start to repeat. His claws sink in deeper. Instinctively, I kick out with my hind legs with all my strength. I let out a yelp of pain as his claws rip free from my flesh and he flies backwards, landing on his back with a thud. My blood stains his paws. He stands up slowly, fury burning in his pale green eyes.
βYouβre gonna pay for that you littleβ¦β
Before he can finish, I spring straight at him. I must have caught him off guard, because I get a few swings at his face before he fully reacts. Crimson droplets bloom on his nose, and he lashes out. His snarl fills my ears as I struggle to fight back. Iβm starting to tire. Harestep knocks me off balance and I stagger.
I lose focus just long enough to notice the scarlet rivers forming on my fur, my blood splashing soundlessly on the dirt floor. Harestep scrapes my muzzle. Heβs either getting tired too, or he thinks heβs already won, because he uses less force than before. The sting shocks me back to life. My heart thuds painfully in my chest as I fight back even harder. The pain is motivating. Invigorating even.
My spontaneous burst of energy pays off with a lucky hit. My claws catch in his ear, tearing out a small chunk. He yowls in pain. Then, my luck falls apart.
He strikes out with his hind paws, simultaneously nipping my shoulder. I fall to the groundβagain. He immediately presses his claws onto my neck, holding me in place. From my place on the ground, I get a panicked moment to take in my surroundings.
Thereβs no one nearby to help me. Duskheart is still folded over herself, and now that Iβm closer Iβm almost certain she isnβt breathing. I hear the panicked squeals of the kits inside the nursery. I can just barely make out Honeysong begging, pleading, to an attacker I canβt see.
No, wait. I can see him. A tabby tom is standing over my mentor, who is struggling to stand. Swiftpeltβs face is twisted in agony, and I nearly cry out. But that wouldnβt do anything.
Harestep must have followed my gaze, because he brings his muzzle close to my ear. βWould you look at that. Big, strong Swiftpelt canβt even protect his own kits.β His breath is hot on my neck. I squirm, trying to free myself from his grasp, but he only presses down harder. βAnd thereβs nothing you can do about it.β
True horror sets in, unlike anything Iβve ever felt. As the tabby delivers the killing blow, all I can do is scream.
Correction. All I can do is scream and push upwards with all my strength, throwing Harestep off me. He tumbles for a moment before gaining his footing. Any satisfaction he may have had on his face is gone. Now heβs only angryβand maybe a little afraid.
I leap after him in a roar, acting without thinking. My grief is blinding. All-encompassing.
I claw at Harestep with everything I have, and before long I have him pinned beneath me, neck exposed. I bare my teeth with a soft hiss. The image of Swiftpeltβs dying moment flashes in my eyes. Only then does my resolve waver.
My hesitation is all it takes for Harestep to scramble out from my grasp and run off. I donβt chase after him. The reality of what I nearly did... What I wanted to doβ¦
I shake my head to clear the poisonous thoughts. Focus Dawnpaw. I glance towards the nursery, but Honeysong are nowhere in sight. I donβt let myself wonder what that means. My eyes dart around the battlefield, unsure what to do next. My gaze lands on Thistlepaw. Heβs fighting the gray and black tom from earlier, and heβs losing. I dash over to them, trying to ignore the exhaustion beginning to weigh down my limbs.
I plow right into Thistlepawβs attacker, taking him by surprise. But the tom is much bigger than I, so the collision takes a toll on me as well. Thistlepaw shoots me a grateful glance but doesnβt say anything. My own fatigue and mourning is reflected in his troubled features. The two of us work together to keep the gray and black tom at bay, but weβre both slowing down. Harestep drained me of my fighting spirit. Thankfully the enemy cat seems to be tiring as well, so we stay evenly matched. Until another cat joins the fray.
So much for the two against one advantageβ¦ Itβs another tom, brown and white. He actually looks a bit like Berrytail, only bigger and with green eyes. It catches me off guard. He must notice me staring, because he looks at me strangely. Thistlepaw leaps at him, but the new cat pulls his shoulder forward and blocks him easily. Thistlepaw stumbles, nearly faceplanting into the ground.
I snap out of my daze just long enough to dodge a blow from the gray and black tom. Heβs smiling now, feeling secure in his friendβs aid. He swipes at me again, and this time Iβm not quick enough to avoid it. His claws burn as they scrape my cheek. My eyes pinch shut as I screech from the pain. Then suddenly, he stops.
I open my eyes to find a very different scene in front of me. Pinewhisker has the gray and black tom pinned. Thistlepaw is standing back, breathing heavily, eyes wide. The brown and white tom heβd been battling is frozen. Iβm surprised to find heβs looking at my father, disbelief on his face. The look soon falls away, replaced with a smirk.
βWell, well, well,β he mews, stepping away from Thistlepaw and towards my father. His tail thrashes back and forth, stirring little clouds of dust into the air. βWhat do we have here?β
Pinewhisker steps off the gray and black tom, who scrambles away. βDiggy?β
The whole world stops. βDiggy?β I repeat in astonishment. βYou know him?β
Pinewhisker ignores me. Diggy, however, glances in my direction. The same strange look flickers across his face as before, and I realize what it is. Recognition.
Diggy points his tail at me, a smile playing on his lips. βIs she Laceyβs?β My father doesnβt say a word, just keeps staring straight at Diggy. But the expression on his face must be enough because Diggy laughs. The sound sends a chill down my spine. βThis is rich.β
βWhoβs Lacey?β I question uncertainly. No one bothers to answer me. I look over at Thistlepaw. He seems just as confused, and frightened, as I am.
Diggy laughs again. βYou mean she doesnβt know?β
βDoesnβt know what?β I yowl. My head is spinning from all of the uncertainty.
βWhat are you doing here, Dig?β Pinewhisker says, ignoring the question. A hint of a snarl slips into his voice.
βI think you know exactly what Iβm doing here, Ollie,β Diggy replies cryptically. "Boy, Slade will be thrilled when he finds out this is where you've been all these seasons."
For a moment, my father actually looks afraid, but it's gone as quickly as it came. "Slade sent you?"
Diggy takes another step forward, and I realize heβs preparing to attack. Apparently, he's tired of questions. Just when Iβm certain the two of them are about to fight, theyβre stopped by a voice ringing out above the clamor of the battle.
βCats of ShadowClan!β A she-catβs cry rattles through the air. Everyone around us stops, as if someone has frozen time. Heads turn towards the source of the voice, and Iβm horrified by what I find.
The brown she-cat that Iβd seen standing over Stonefoot now has Toadstar pinned to the forest floor. Our leader struggles, but stays restrained. I expect someone to run forward, to try to help, but no one moves. Itβs as if our paws are rooted where we stand.
As soon as the she-cat sees she has everyoneβs attention, she speaks again. βCats of ShadowClan,β she repeats, voice like ice. βYou are ShadowClan no longer.β
And with that, she buries her claws into Toadstarβs throat. Then I collapse.
chapter threeβ - When I wake, it takes me a moment to get my bearings. Pain and exhaustion crash down around me like a physical weight, keeping me pinned to the ground. Iβm no longer in the center of camp. Bramble walls tower over me and the scent of herbs fill my noseβa familiar setting for the aching of my limbs.
βShe collapsed from exhaustion,β I hear Berrytail saying to someone behind me. βWaking her is risky at best. If we donβt give her mind a break, there may be consequences.β
βDo I look like I give a ratβs tail? Weβve waited too long as it is.β
The second voice sends a chill down my spine. It brings the image of Toadstarβs throat being slashed to the forefront of my mind. Once the image is there, I canβt shake it. The sight of the blood, the smirk on the tabby she-catβs face, is seared into my skull. The fact that sheβs here proves it wasnβt just another nightmare.
βShe just needs a little more time,β Berrytail pleads. For an instant, Iβm impressed that heβs standing his ground. The she-cat did not seem like the type of cat you argue with.
When she starts spitting insults at him, the admiration turns to fear. I instinctively leap to my paws, turning to face them. Itβs a mistake. The world spins and I sway on my paws. Berrytail leaps to my aid, holding me steady.
The tabby she-cat looks smug. βThere, sheβs awake. Now we can leave.β She turns and stalks out of the den, leaving me more disoriented than ever.
βYou okay?β Berrytail asks. βSit if you need to.β
I do, reluctantly. I feel like my body is made of stone, too heavy to keep off the ground. I resist the urge to curl up in a ball and die and instead meet Berrytailβs eyes. He looks concerned, and I try not to think about how pitiful I must look in this moment.
βWhat happened?β I croak. It sounds like my body is made of stone too, apparently.
βYou fainted,β Berrytail mews softly, studying me. I blink hard, trying to clear my thoughts and steady my breathing. Fainted. That makes sense, I guess. Light trickles faintly into the den between the brambles β the sun is rising.
βWho are these cats?β I say, softer now.
Berrytail gives me a sad, pitying smile, and my gut churns. βYou overworked your body,β he continues, ignoring my question. βYouβll probably be a bit dizzy for a while, and your wounds may take a little longer than usual to heal. Youβre going to be alright though, as long as you take it easy.β He pads over to the other end of the den, bringing back some herbs.
βTake it easy?β I reply, bewildered. βBerrytail, what is going on?β
βEat these,β he says. βTheyβll help you recover more quickly.β Despite my frustration, I obey. The herbs are bitter and familiar.
I try to stand again, and although Iβm still wobbly, I manage to stay up this time. Berrytail watches me but doesnβt speak.
βPlease, Berrytail,β I beg. βWhat happened while I was out?β
He sighs and looks down at his paws. Just when Iβm about to plead with him again, he looks up and meets my gaze. βI guess youβll find out soon anyway. Weβd better go before Harley comes back.β
βHarley? Is that the tabby she-cat?β
Berrytail nods, getting to his paws. βCome with me.β
I hesitate but eventually follow him out of the den. I hate how cryptic heβs being; I donβt know what to expect as I step into camp. The soft light of dawn gives everything a fuzzy haze. Once again, this all feels like some sort of sick dream.
But itβs not. The nightmare in front of me is all too real.
There are six bodies in the center of camp, all curled around each other as if in sleep. I spot the pale ginger pelt of Swiftpelt in the center beside Duskheart. Toadstar and Nightflower lay on the edge, unmoving. When my eyes settle on Stonefoot, Thistlepawβs father, my heart stops. The sixth body, lying beside his father, is my best friend. I yelp as if Iβve been struck.
At the sound, Thistlepawβs head shoots up. The relief flooding my body is almost enough to make me faint all over again. He was only mourning his father. A rogue sitting near the bodies tenses at the movement and watches Thistlepaw with slits for eyes as he makes his way towards me.
None of the dead are rogues, I realize with a shudder. The thought hurts more than I expected.
βDawnpaw!β
I turn around to see my father running over, relief plastered across his face. The tabby she-catβHarleyβfollows him more slowly. Her expression reveals nothing about what sheβs thinking. Had he been talking to her? The sting of confusion washes over me once more, reminding me of the puzzling exchange heβd had with the rogue Diggy.
βDawnpaw, are you alright? I was so worried.β Pinewhisker nuzzles my side, and I stiffen. He must notice because he takes a step back.
βIβm fine,β I mumble. Thistlepaw approaches, and I shoot him a reassuring, if not sad, smile. You okay? I mouth to him. He shakes his head, almost imperceptibly.
βGood, sheβs awake,β Harley mews, walking past us. βIβll tell Diggy itβs time.β
βTime for what?β I ask, although I donβt really expect an answer at this point. Thistlepaw shrugs and Pinewhisker looks grim. Which leaves me still in the dark. Surprise, surprise.
I glance around camp again, avoiding looking at my dead Clanmates. The outer edge of camp, particularly near the exits, is ringed with rogues. Theyβre watching as if expecting us to try to escape. As if we have anywhere else to go.
My stare is eventually drawn to Blizzardclawβs white pelt. He and his brother, Jaggedflight, are talking to a few of the rogues. Casually. As if they know each other. My pelt bristles at the thought. Blizzardclaw is speaking animatedly, but Jaggedflight looks distracted. I think back to the battle when Harestep attacked me and my heart sinks. There are traitors among us.
Jaggedflight looks around camp, possibly scanning for anything unusual. Eventually, his eyes meet mine, and a strange expression flashes across his face before he quickly turns away, back to his brother. My pelt bristles. If only I could hear what theyβre sayingβ¦
My thoughts are interrupted by a yowl. By the way everyone around me flinches, itβs clear they remember the sound as clearly as I do.
Harley is perched on the High Branch, Diggy by her side. Itβs jarring to see anyone other than Toadstar up there. Itβs more jarring to see his killer up there. Most jarring? No one is stopping them.
βOkay, listen up,β Diggy hollers. βIβm sure most of you are dying for some clarification about what is actually happening to you right now, so allow me to explain. My name is Diggy, and this right here is Harley.β
The tabby she-cat nods in acknowledgment of his words, her icy gaze sweeping across camp. βYour leader is dead,β she mews bluntly. βAnd youβre largely outnumbered. Which means youβre going to do what we say. Understood?β
No one speaks. Harley smiles. βGood. Now Diggy is going to tell you what your circumstances are, then youβll be given a choice. Hold all questions until he finishes speaking, or you will regret it.β
βThank you, Harley,β Diggy says. His voice betrays no emotion as he speaksβitβs all business.
He begins by explaining that the other three Clans have suffered our same fate. Someone starts to yell out in disbelief, but is quickly silenced by a look from Harley. No one else speaks up. Resentment burns in my chest at this. Is ShadowClan so weak that we all cower beneath these rogues? Where are the powerful warriors Iβve known and loved? Then the image of Harley killing Toadstar, bleeding him out without the slightest hesitation, scorches through my mind. My resentment fizzles into shame. Iβm just as afraid.
βSecondly,β Diggy continues. βYou may be confused as to why weβre all hanging around your camp together. We are not, in fact, here to drive you out. We donβt want your prey. We donβt want your territory. We want you.β
Diggy pauses for a moment as if to let this sink in. It actually does take a moment for his words to process. I didnβt realize I thought we were being driven out until he said it. And it is weird that weβre all just standing around like this isnβt happening. But itβs the last part he said that gets me.
βWhat does he mean, he wants us?β Thistlepaw breathes in my ear.
I shake my head slightly. βYour guess is as good as mine.β I glance at my father, sitting on my other side, to try and gauge his reaction to this news. He doesnβt seem surprised, and neither does Berrytail.
βWe live a few daysβ travel from here,β Diggy proceeds, βin a place free from Twoleg interference. Our home is large and safe, and abundant with prey. Our numbers, however, are not suitable for the environment. Due to the structure of our society, we are in constant need of fresh paws. Which is where you come in. Weβve had our eye on the Clans for a few moons now. We need more cats to support our growing needs.β
βNow, you all have a decision to make,β Harley says, taking over. βYou have the option to come with us to our home, to learn our ways and help our society thrive.β
βAnd if we donβt?β Oakstripe speaks up.
Harley smirks. βIf you donβt, I guess weβll have to kill you.β Her words donβt surprise me as much as they should. Iβm adjusting to this strange new normal frighteningly quick.
Join or die. Some choice.
βAnd once we get there?β the gentle voice of Sunsplash, Swiftpeltβs sister, rings out. βWhat will we be expected to do?β
βThat will be decided once you arrive,β Diggy replies smoothly. βOur ranks are divided into hunters and fighters. If you prove useful, youβll be welcomed as one of us. Otherwiseβ¦β
βOtherwise, I guess weβll have to kill you,β Harley repeats.
Suddenly, a clamor rises into the air as every cat yells out their doubts. Just as quickly, theyβre silenced by Jaggedflight.
βYou donβt have a choice,β he meows, voice steady. βShadowClan lost this battle, and these are the consequences of that loss. I promise you, itβs in everyoneβs best interest that we leave with these cats.β
βTraitor,β I spit. βWhy should your word mean anything to us?β
βDawnpaw, hush,β Pinewhisker stops me, holding his tail out in as if to hold me back. βJaggedflight is right. Weβve lost this battle.β
I glance at him, mind swimming with shock and horror. βPinewhisker, we canβt justββ
βEnough!β Harley yowls. Everyone freezes once more.
βWe leave at sunhigh,β Diggy says simply. βYou have until then to bury your dead and rest. We have a long journey ahead of us.β
chapter fourβ - I stare at my paws, at the dried mud and blood caked to my fur. I canβt find the strength to wash them clean, nor the energy to want to. We just finished burying Swiftpelt and the others. It feels like I buried my soul with him.
βAlright everybody up!β Diggy yowls. So much for leaving at sunhigh. No one has had the chance to rest.
I rise wearily to my paws, and Thistlepaw pads up beside me. The sorrow in his eyes is a painful reflection of my own. I have to look away. Soon, everyone begins to make their way out of camp, for what Iβm painfully certain is the last time. Thistlepaw squeezes through the entrance, requiring extra effort so that his thick fur isnβt caught on the brambles. His head hangs, and he doesnβt look back.
I pause a moment, sparing one last glance at my home. The dens all seem pitiful, knowing that no cat will sleep in them again. An image flashes in my mind abruptly, of the other three Clan camps looking just as pathetic. It makes my gut churn. This isnβt my home anymoreβ¦ Iβm forced to look away.
No one speaks as we make our solemn march to the edge of our territory. I would be surprised, but what is there to say? Weβre all lost in our own dark, frightened thoughts. All of us feeling the loss of our loved ones even more sharply with the loss of our home to accompany it.
Itβs a hollow kind of pain. The absence of joy as opposed to the sting of a wound. Fortunately for me, my aching limbs add an extra distraction from the vacant place in my heart. It takes all of my energy to place one paw in front of the next, all of my focus not to collapse where I stand to rest. At some point, Thistlepaw lends me his shoulder for support. It bothers me a little that my struggling is obvious enough for him to offer when he must certainly be in his own world of pain, but Iβm too exhausted to refuse his help.
When we cross the border, I expect to feel a new wave of sadness, but I donβt have the energy to think about everything we are losing.
We walk until just after actual sunhigh before Diggy announces that we may hunt and rest. I very nearly collapse into sleep. When I wake, thereβs a scrawny-looking mouse in front of me. I donβt even hesitate before gobbling it downβwithout the exhaustion to distract me, I quickly realize Iβm starving. Thistlepaw is asleep beside me, twitching faintly. I consider waking him, to rescue him from what is certainly a nightmare, but I know he needs as much sleep as possible, restless or not. I stand slowly, stretching my aching limbs and taking a moment to assess my injuries. Overall, Iβm not terribly wounded. I have quite a few scrapes, but only one is particularly deep. Mostly my muscles just ache from exertion. Otherwise, my fatigue mustβve been from overstimulation.
Although still sore and weary, I feel considerably better. Without the distraction of the stress on my body, the sorrow hits me like an enemyβs pounceβsudden and painful.
I finally take a closer look at my surroundings, feeling somewhat ashamed that I passed out without so much as looking around. The forest has begun to considerably thin out, and I feel exposed. The rest of my Clan, or whatβs left of it anyway, is scattered around the clearing. Those who speak do so in murmurs. A few are eating. Blizzardclaw and the other traitors are sitting with the rogues, talking quietly. They occasionally glance around, as if someone is going to bolt, but everyone is too tired and afraid to even consider it.
I realize I donβt see my father anywhere, but then I see him coming out of the undergrowth with Harley and Berrytail. My temper flares at the sight, but it also stirs my curiosity more than Iβd care to admit. I notice they arenβt talking, however, which calms me slightly. Their muzzles are wet, which reminds me that Iβm thirsty.
βWhere is there water?β I ask my father as he approaches me. He blinks once, then gestures vaguely with his head.
βCome,β he mews. βIβll show you the stream.β
βHow do you feel?β Berrytail interrupts.
I reply with a vague, βIβm fine,β before following Pinewhisker into the trees. Harley trails us, evidently serving as some form of a guard. She looks irritated, although I suppose that may just be her face. I take a drink from the small stream quickly, trying to ignore my pitiable reflection.
βSo where is it that weβre going, exactly? How far, I mean?β I ask Harley, putting on my best attempt at a brave face. Her smirk tells me Iβve failed.
βAssuming nothing goes wrong, we should arrive around this time tomorrow,β she says simply. I nod in acknowledgment but donβt comment. I was expecting more of a journey, but Iβm also grateful that I wonβt have to wait much longer to see what exactly weβre dealing with.
When we get back to the clearing, I finally address Pinewhisker. βThanks for the mouse.β
His eyes pinch together. βWhat mouse?β
βAlright everyone, back on your paws! Weβve rested long enough.β Diggy is standing in the center of the small clearing, glancing around with the confidence of someone who knows theyβll be obeyed.
I make my way over to Thistlepaw as everyone rises, everyone slow and stiff in their movements. Thistlepaw blinks away sleep, and I can see the terrible moment where he becomes awake enough to remember. His eyes flash with pain for a brief moment before a resigned look takes over.
βHowβs your shoulder?β he asks.
I shrug, then try not to flinch. Bad idea. βGood enough to walk, I suppose.β He nods, and the two of us join our Clanmates gathered around Diggy.
βNow listen up,β heβs saying. βNot much further and weβll be approaching a very largeβer, what do you call them again?β He turns to Harestep for help.
βTwolegplace,β Harestep supplies.
βYes,β Diggy mews, βTwolegplace. Weβre near a very large Twolegplace, and in order to get to our home in the least amount of time, we are going to have to cross it.β
I can feel my Clanmates shifting with nervous energy. I do not like the sound of that.
Diggy either doesnβt notice our discomfort or doesnβt care. βUnfortunately, it is not safe to travel through the, uh, Twolegplace, in such a large group. We will be splitting up into smaller groups. And of course, weβll be separating family. To ensure you all come out on the other side.β
Thistlepaw and I exchange an uneasy glance. None of this sounds good. But what choice do we have?
Harley then tells us who will be traveling with which group. Iβm grateful to hear that Thistlepaw and I will be together, along with Harestep, one of the roguesβa lanky tom named Dieselβand Cloverkit. Weβll have to take turns carrying her.
Thornkit will be sent with Sunsplashβs group, and Petalkit with my father. Before we go, Honeysong makes me swear to take care of her kit. The arrangement of fear and sorrow on her delicate features is almost too much to bear.
βWith my life,β I promise her. And I mean it.
- - -
It turns out weβd been much closer to the Twolegplace than I'd imagined. Weβre the first group to leave, and before I know it, the trees thin out to a few scattered Twoleg dens, which grow more abundant by the moment. Iβm becoming increasingly grateful for the growing twilightβwe see few Twolegs, and none of them see us. In ShadowClan, weβve always kept our distance from the strange fur-less creatures, but Iβve been around them enough to know that they wouldnβt take kindly to the five of us traipsing through their territory.
In addition to becoming more crowded, the Twolegplace also gets dirtier the further we venture. My paws are coated with grime that clings uncomfortably to my paws. We pause briefly so that I can take Cloverkit from Thistlepaw for a while, and I canβt help but make a face when I grab her scruff. Her fur tastes as foul as the air smells. Thistlepaw glances at me with laughter in his eyes, as if to say I know. What could Twolegs possibly do to make their home so distasteful?
We walk a while longer in silence, making what seems to me like good time. I think weβre all just anxious to be out of the Twolegplace; even Harestep looks uncomfortable in the dismal environment. My throat is getting dry from thirst, but one glance at the puddles in our path get rid of any notion of drinking. The water is murky, and the surface is shiny. Just picturing myself lapping at the water makes my stomach squirm. Iβd prefer my dry tongue for now.
My wandering thoughts dissipate in an instant as something smashes into the ground in front of my paws with an ear-splitting crash. Pieces fly in every direction and I turn roughly to the side so that they donβt hit Cloverkit. She yelps and I send a quick plea to StarClan that itβs from fear and not pain. A few of the pieces, which look like ice but sharper, end up buried into my injured shoulder. It takes all of my remaining willpower not to cry out since I would surely drop Cloverkit in the process.
A sound like a fox choking draws my attention to the source of the strange object attacking us. Three young Twolegs are standing roughly ten tail-lengths away. Are they... laughing? I think incredulously. Then I notice that two of the Twolegs are holding what looks somewhat like muddy ice, each about the size of Cloverkit. All of my remaining confusion fizzles into fear as one lifts the object over his head.
βRun!β Diesel screechesβthe first words heβs said. I donβt hesitate any longer. We all scatter, dashing away from our attackers. I hear another huge crash as the object lands somewhere behind me. I donβt bother looking to see where. Another piece stings my pelt, but itβs less painful than before, so it must not have been as close when it landed.
I run with what little energy I have remaining, grateful that I have Cloverkit with me. I know sheβs safe, and knowing I have to keep her that way gives me strength. I only wish I could tell her that everything will be okay. Her little whimpers make me cringe, but I canβt afford to stop and reassure her.
I race around a massive Twoleg denβthey all seem to reach halfway to StarClan around hereβand try to blend into the shadows. Only after rounding a few corners with no sign of the Twolegs following do I slow down. I round another turn and nearly run head-first into Diesel. He looks relieved to see me.
βThat was a close one,β he says, panting slightly. βNever had that happen before. Letβs stop for a bit and see if the other two come across us.β
I nod slightly and pad over to the edge of the Twoleg den. I set Cloverkit down and lick her head, murmuring kind words all the while. She seems to be uninjured, thank StarClan. Just very frightened.
βYou have glass in your fur,β Diesel says. I must look confused because he elaborates. βThe thing they threw at us. It was glass. You have shards still in your pelt.β
So thatβs why it still stings so bad. I sit down close to Cloverkit, and glance over my coat, pulling out a few pieces of the glass and spitting it away from me. Disgusting.
Just as Iβm pulling out the last piece, Harestep and Thistlepaw appear from around a corner. They both seem out of breath, but otherwise unharmed.
We seem to wordlessly agree to take a quick break. The sun has finally settled below the horizon, but bright lights of the Twolegplace keep the world in an eerie half-light, and I canβt see the stars. Perhaps this is not a place StarClan can follow. The thought makes me shudder.
Once weβve all caught our breath, Diesel is the first to stand. βWould you like me to carry the kit a while?β
Thistlepaw and I both blurt out a resounding βNo!β
Diesel flinches like heβs been struck. βSorry I asked.β
Harestep is making a face like heβs eaten dirt, and I bite back the urge to tell him just that. Instead, I bend down to pick up Cloverkit and nod to Diesel to lead the way. Thistlepaw offers to take another turn, but I want to keep her with me. I donβt want her out of my sight until weβre out of this nightmare place.
Thankfully, we donβt walk for long before I get my wish. The Twoleg dens shrink and become more spread out, and the grimy stone beneath our paws give way to grass and undergrowth. Cloverkit stops sniffling, and the fresh scents of the forest soon begin to feel my lungs. Itβs like being reborn.
I suddenly feel even better when Diesel tells us that we can finally stop to wait for the others. Weβre near a big Twolegden that he calls a barn, but he assures me that itβs abandoned and that weβre safe. After a momentβs hesitation, I decide to trust him. Why would he put himself in danger anyway? My feet ache, but I manage to stay upright long enough to bring Cloverkit over to a small pond near the barn. Thistlepaw joins us, and after weβve had our fill, the three of us curl up under a birch tree.
My eyes are burning, so I close them while I clean Cloverkit of the Twolegplace stink coating her soft pelt. She falls asleep instantly and soon so does Thistlepaw, but I force myself to stay awake long enough to clean myself as well. Careful not to wake either of them, I ignore my aching muscles and get back to my feet, walking back over to the pond. The water clears my mouth of most of the grime, but a burning taste remains.
Diesel meets my eye as I walk back to the group and smiles sympathetically. I donβt return the sentiment. I simply turn away and curl around Cloverkit. Despite my best efforts to wait for at least one other group to join us, Iβm asleep within moments. chapter fiveβ - When I wake, for a few blissful moments, I donβt know where I am. I smell the damp earth beneath me, feel Thistlepawβs familiar pelt poking my side. Iβm sore, but no more so than after any other dayβs battles. But then reality hits me like a stone, crushing what little joy I could muster in my half-dream state.
My eyes fly open and my heart begins to race as I realize that Cloverkit is no longer curled up between Thistlepaw and me. Before I get the chance to fully panic, however, I see that Honeysong is asleep only a few tail-lengths away, wrapped around all three of her kits. I actually sigh in audible relief.
As the dread recedes, I take a moment to assess my situation. Iβm still fatigued and battle-weary, but my eyes no longer burn with exhaustion, and my mind feels clearer than yesterday.
And yesterday it must have been because the sun is now rising. Light dapples the clearing through the trees that form a canopy over our heads. Thistlepaw and I are in the shadiest spot thanks to the birch tree we slept beneath, which explains why it felt so much like the apprenticesβ den. Shady and damp, yet warm from everyone asleep around you. Thistlepaw is still very much unconscious; soft snores escape from his nose. He must be too deeply asleep to be dreaming because for once his paws are still. Iβm glad that heβs getting some real rest.
The same cannot be said for the other shapes sleeping around him. Iβm startled, and a little frustrated, to see that Thistlepawβs siblings have joined us. Did I really sleep so soundly as to not notice their arrival? Lakepawβs spotted form shakes almost imperceptibly, and something tells me it isnβt from the cold. Silverpaw doesnβt move, but her pale gray face is taut with pain. The sight of the three of them brings a new stabbing pain to my chest. Itβs a horrible reminder that Stonefoot is dead.
Thinking about Thistlepawβs father makes me worry for my own. It only takes a moment before I spot his scarred pelt and my fears are eased, but only slightly, because I see heβs talking to Diggy and two other rogues. One of them I recognize from the battle, but the other is completely unfamiliar. My pelt prickles at the sight, confusion quickly burning away into anger. I have to force myself to look away.
Itβs only then that I notice just how crowded the clearing is. And warm, for that matter. It seems the other Clans and their own rogue captors have caught up with us. I recognize a few ThunderClan cats, who seem to have settled closest to us. Iβm not surprisedβthey have long been our allies of war, so itβs only natural they would be most comfortable near us, rather than WindClan or RiverClan. At first, I think they must not have all made it through the Twolegplace yet, but then I realize the missing cats are likely dead. If that's the case, it seems ThunderClan took even greater losses than us.
My eyes continue to roam the area, which looks much smaller with so many cats sleeping in it. The steadily growing daylight doesnβt help with that either. A few are beginning to stir, but I figure the weight of the past two days is too exhausting for even the toughest warriors. I send a quick thought to StarClan, more out of habit than the hope of anything coming from it, that everyone gets as much sleep as they need. I get the feeling that weβre all going to need it. Even the fish-pelts, as much as it may make me cringe to think it.
Some commotion catches my attention as a group of cats make their way into the clearing, each with jaws full of prey. My stomach growls despite myself, then churns uncomfortably when I notice who they are. The bright white pelts of Blizzardclaw and Jaggedflight lead the patrol, with Harestep, Roseclaw, and Brightstorm on their heels. Roughly ten other cats follow a few tail-lengths behind. All of them are Clan cats. All of them, presumably, traitors. Harestep catches me staring and smirks around the rabbit in his mouth. My blood begins to boil.
βYouβre awake,β Berrytail says, startling me. I sit the rest of the way up and turn to face him. His amber eyes are as impossible to read as ever, which only adds to my frustration.
βYeah,β I reply simply. Iβm not exactly in the mood for one of his enigmatic conversations.
βAnd how are your wounds?β
βBetter,β I say honestly. βMuch better actually.β
Berrytail nods. βGood. Iβm glad that you were more fatigued than injured. Youβll need your strength.β
If I didnβt agree with him, Iβd be concerned by his tone. He sounds like heβs hiding something, but StarClan knows I havenβt the slightest idea what.
He must be able to tell Iβm confusedβperhaps Iβm making βthe face,β as Thistlepaw so kindly dubbed itβbecause he continues. βI understand that this is all overwhelming. Believe me, Iβm nearly as confused as you are.β
βNearly?β I question.
He smiles half-heartedly. βNearly. But Iβm not the one to ease your uncertainty.β He looks pointedly at Pinewhisker before not-so-subtly changing the subject. βI have some herbs for you and Thistlepaw.β He nudges them forward with one paw. βThe burnet is for both of you for strength, and the elder leaf is for him. Iβm sure his shoulder must be bothering him.β
No matter how much Berrytail may drive me crazy on occasion, he really is a great medicine cat. βThanks, Berrytail. Iβll be sure to give them to him when he wakes.β
Berrytail nods again and walks away. Probably to check on someone elseβs injuries. Iβm sure there are plenty to go around.
I bring the herbs over to Thistlepaw, setting the elder leaf and half of the burnet in front of him. His nose wrinkles, but he doesnβt stir. I scarf down my portion of the burnet, nearly gagging at the taste, and hurry to wash it down by the pond I drank from last night. There are two other cats getting a drink as well. I recognize them as WindClan cats, but no names come to me, so I donβt say a word to them. The ambivalence seems mutual. Once Iβm satisfied that the herb taste is washed from my mouth, I pad back over to Thistlepaw.
Before I make it there, though, Jaggedflight crosses my path. Intentionally, it seems, because he sets a small squirrel at my paws. βHere.β
My fur stands on end as I eye the prey, a retort rising in my throat. Or maybe itβs a snarl. Whoβs to say.
Jaggedflight senses my apprehension and rolls his eyes. βI didnβt poison it or anything. Everyone is getting food. Iβm just the one unlucky enough to bring you yours.β
Iβm still uncertain. Jaggedflight sighs. βFine,β he says. βDonβt eat the squirrel. Iβm sure someone else will take it.β
Before he can pick it up, my stomach wins my internal struggle. βIβll eat it,β I rush out.
He nods, satisfied. βIt should be enough for Thistlepaw to have some too.β He doesnβt seem thrilled by the idea, but he continues to stand there like heβs waiting for me to thank him. But Iβm not going to do that. Eventually, he seems to realize that, because he rolls his eyes again, and stalks off. Off to find his fox-hearted brother, Iβm sure.
It seems the harder I try to ignore the two of them, the more their existence is shoved in my face. With a sigh to rival even Jaggedflightβs annoyance, I take the squirrel over to Thistlepaw and eat my share. It seems the scent of food is finally enough to wake my spike-furred friend. He doesnβt even ask before digging in with an absurd moan.
βQuit acting like itβs the best meal youβve ever had,β I snap at him. βJaggedflightβs the one who caught it.β
He gives me a knowing look. βHate him all you want, but food is food, my friend. And this is the best meal Iβve ever had. Nothing like a near-death experience to give you an appetite.β
I let out another winning sigh. It really was a great tasting squirrel, but thereβs no chance Iβd ever admit it. Not even to Thistlepaw.
βYou know,β Thistlepaw says after heβs finished the squirrel, βThere is a silver lining to this. I bet everyone would believe you about Blizzardclaw now that heβs shown his true colors.β
Here we go again. βIt doesnβt really matter whether anyone believes me,β I admit. βItβs the principle of the thing. It wouldnβt really mean anything unless he owned up to it.β
Thistlepaw shrugs then winces. βWhatever you say Dawnpaw.β
The pain on his face reminds me of the herbs, so I nudge them closer to him. βBerrytailβs orders.β
He frowns, sniffs the herbs, then laps them up quickly. βIck.β
I canβt help but chuckle at his expression. Sure, the herbs are gross, but he looks like heβs just been forced to eat dirt. βOh, go wash your mouth out, you big baby.β
He marches off, muttering something about the herbs ruining perfectly good squirrel after-taste. I shake my head after him. I appreciate that he dropped the Blizzardclaw and Jaggedflight subject, but now that itβs been brought up, I canβt stop thinking about it. My chest burns, anger tinged with shame. Anger at the two of them for betraying me, and shame that I was ever stupid enough to give them the chance.
When Thistlepaw gets back, I resolve to push the violent thoughts from my mind. Thereβs no sense in agonizing over the past with the future so uncertain.
The gravity of our situation seems to have hit him again as well because, for a long while, neither of us says anything. We just lay together, resting our weary muscles and keeping our dark thoughts to ourselves. At first, I scan the crowds of cats around us, trying to determine the remaining numbers of each Clan, the number of traitors, and the number of rogues. Soon, though, all of the pelts begin to blur together, so I just close my eyes and do my best to breathe deeply.
Iβm unsure just how long we lay like that, but when I open my eyes again, the sun is nearly above the tree line. I must have dozed off at some point. This time around, Thistlepaw is awake before me. βDiggy is gathering us,β he mews.
I stand up slowly, stretching. I donβt know if it was the nap or Berrytailβs herbs, but I feel much stronger. Ready to get this journey over with.
βAlright everyone,β Diggy announces as Thistlepaw and I join the gathered cats. Everyone is awake now. I can practically taste the apprehension in the air. βItβs time for the last leg of the journey. We wonβt be stopping again until weβve arrived at the Homestead, so I hope you are all rested enough to make it. Beyond this barn, there wonβt be any more Twolegs for us to deal with, so weβll be continuing as one group.β
Instead of a tree, this time Diggy speaks from the upper level of the barn through a hole in the wall. As he speaks, his eyes scan the crowd. He pauses when his gaze lands on me, and my fur raises along my spine. I curse my pelt for betraying my fear. After a momentβs pause, he continues his sweep.
βNow I know you all have a million questions, but I ask that you hold on to them until we reach our destination. Everything will be explained to you once weβre there. Grab a drink if you need one. Itβs time to head out."
Once again, no one tries to argue with him. Once again, Iβm ashamed that Iβm just as submissive as everyone else. I could blame it on the shock, but Iβd only be lying to myself. They are counting on us being too afraid to fight back, and too afraid is exactly what I am.
As such, I am complaisant as the crowd surges out of the clearing. I am complaisant as we make our way into the increasingly thick undergrowth. I am complaisant as my limbs scream at me to lie down, to take a break. I am complaisant when I see Jaggedflight and Harestep carrying Thornkit and Petalkit, even though it makes my skin crawl. I am complaisant when Thistlepaw trips and wrenches his shoulder all over again, and I am complaisant when Harley wonβt let him stop for even a moment. But all the while, I am seething.
At some point, Pinewhisker finds his way to my side. βI need to speak with you.β
I turn to him with wide, angry eyes. βAll of a sudden?β
He only sighs. βThistlepaw, why donβt you go find Berrytail and see if he can help with that shoulder of yours?β
βAnything you have to tell me, you can say in front of him,β I say defensively.
βNo, itβs okay,β Thistlepaw says, to my surprise. βI really should see if Berrytail can spot anything for the pain.β
With a nod from my father, Thistlepaw slows his limping so that Berrytail will eventually catch up to him. For a few excruciating moments, the only sounds are the soft thuds of our pawsteps, and the murmurs of cats talking around us. My fatherβs face looks pained, as if he isnβt sure what to say. But eventually, he figures it out and says something that Iβve begun to expect. His voice is gentle, but his words are hard.
βYour mother and I werenβt born into ShadowClan. We grew up in a group of rogues but left when we werenβt much older than you are now because we were frightened by the way things were going. Toadstar was still deputy at the time, but he convinced the rest of the Clan to take us in.β He swallows loudly. βI understand that it's not much of an explanation, but I never told you before because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal life.β
βA normal life,β I parrot back to him. My mind goes to mush as I try to digest this information. An entire range of emotion hits me as things start to fall into place. Most of the Clan must know this. Does Thistlepaw? Suddenly the unexplained hatred Iβve always felt from Blizzardclaw and Harestep has a justification. I am not a true Clan cat.
Once the thought has settled, I feel like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. Berrytailβs strange concern for me my whole life? My parentsβ lack of living relatives? The way no one ever speaks of my mother? Now I get why my father never told stories from his youth, the way Thistlepawβs father always lovesβlovedβto do. I begin to see my entire life in a new light.
βYouβre one of them,β I say. Pinewhisker nods.
βYour motherββ His voice breaks, and his shoulders slump as if heβs holding the weight of the world. βWhen your mother realized she was going to have kits, she knew she had to get far away from that world. In fact, she wanted to keep going after we found the lake. Iβm the one that insisted weβd be safer in numbers.β
The events of the battle come rushing back to me with all new meaning. βOllie. Diggy called you Ollie.β
βYes. Before we joined the Clans, my name was Oliver, and your motherβs name was Lacey. We changed them when we decided to stay.β
I try to fit the name with my thoughts of my father and fail. Another name from that night flickers through my mind. βWhoβs Slade?β
PinewhiskerβOliver?βtakes a deep breath before responding. βSomeone Iβd hoped I would never see again.β
It seems my father has been taking lessons from Berrytail in speaking in riddles. βBut who is he? How do you know him?β
βYouβll find out soon enough,β he responds, sounding very much like Diggy. βI only told you this so that you could prepare yourself for whatβs to come.β
My confusion quickly burns up into anger. βHow am I supposed to prepare myself if you wonβt give me a straight answer?β
He sighs again like Iβm a kid who needs a scolding. βNothing I could say would be enough. Youβll only have more questions. You might as well find out alongside everyone else." He hesitates before adding, "Iβm not totally sure what to expect myself.β
Despite further prodding, I canβt get any more information from him. Itβs infuriating.
Just as Iβm about to voice my frustrations again, Pinewhisker shushes me. His voice is barely above a whisper as he says, βWeβre here.β At that moment, I finally see just how afraid my father is. Seeing him afraid makes me terrified.
Here turns out to take a bit more walking, but eventually, I figure out how he was able to tell. The trees are thinning out, and the ground beneath our feet becomes drier, and slopes downward. Instead of trees, boulders shoot out from the ground, casting frightening shadows over the crowd. There are cats standing atop about a quarter of the stones, just staring at us as we march by. I hear someone behind us whimper. Iβd think it was pathetic if I wasnβt tempted to do the same.
The boulders eventually become rock walls that would tower over even the tallest of ShadowClanβs pines. Cats mill around all around, freezing to watch the moment they see us. What a sight we must be, injured and exhausted as we are.
At some point, we are led to the left, and we enter a large, ovular area with rocky cliffs in every direction. Diggy leaps atop a rock at the back of the opening, the center of attention as always. He grins, as if reading my mind, and sweeps his tail around him dramatically. βWelcome to the Homestead, everyone.β
chapter sixβ - Hopeful release date: July 16th
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