Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jul 20, 2019 19:49:13 GMT -5
Alright so first things first, i'm probably not leaving! Unless you guys all want me to... lmao..
Leaving was what I felt I really wanted to do when I mentioned this past experience, and honestly... this moment here was not that. I'm super happy i'm able to discern that now.
I want to apologize to everyone first and foremost for letting my emotions get the best of me. I did feel that once I could recognize what was putting me on edge it was hard to stop myself from feeling the hurt and vexation from the past. It was after my post addressing that moment when I started to feel really upset over it. Which was honestly so weird when I try to feel how I felt in that moment. Never once in any of my responses did I feel the connection between this event and the previous event before I let myself. And once I did this situation suddenly became a lot worse to me. I should never had made the connection between this and my previous incident. As this one has similar context, but is not the same to me at all.
I do want to say that it's not your fault ♡ Bun ♡ that I have gone through something somewhat close to what happened here. I should not have brought that in and I apologize for that!
Now.. I want for the rest of this to be addressed to ♡ Bun ♡ only;
Though I say now, from your responses to me throughout, I think for everyone too, you need to be clearer when you ask things of others. And also completely put on the table what you want to ask of others. On-top of that, I think it would be best for you too to take a moment to calm down before responding if you're feeling... really emotional over something someone is doing that you don't like. A lot of this, upon review, is completely caused by us not reading eachother properly. We both kept egging eachother on without realizing it I think, and it was really hard for me to address that properly. I am sorry for misreading you and I imagine you feel the same way.
However,
People are free to remove themselves from a character or plot if they so wish. While I did feel that I needed to be excluded, I should not have gotten the reaction that I did. As much as I am at fault for assuming their relationship was to be romantic, you didn't give the same attitude to Spotted when she took back Firesky. I don't see how Duskriver's exclusion should have been treated differently here. You said yourself that it was only supposed to be crushing on Milkblossom's end, romance was NOT for sure, 50/50 chance, and lastly you offered her to Spotted. Excitement or not, you were looking for romance with Firesky for Milkblossom.. and there's nothing wrong with that! Just as there was nothing wrong with me deciding that i'd prefer to end the best friend/crush relationship Milkblossom had with Duskriver because you were interested in other characters for her romantically. If Milkblossom is getting romantic with someone else and I had assumed that she was a romantic option for Duskriver... I'm allowed to decide that I won't indulge her character anymore. I'm well within my rights to. I address this entirely because your reaction here was definitely not the right one. This is the moment, I believe, where everything started to fall apart.
I can now appreciate that you tried to make it work with me still. Regardless, I don't know how to say that it didn't feel right that you were quick to offer Milkblossom back to me for Duskriver, despite your initial intentions for the two. I feel that it was an attempt to make things better somehow? But it was taken offensively, as it felt like some type of damage control and also contradicted what you were saying throughout the entirety of this which didn't sit well with me. It also made me feel like I was forcing you to do things for me in order to get my way, which I have a complex about. I'm sorry. I would never want anyone to feel like i'm abusing my power as admin. Someone has told me in the past that they used to go along with what I wanted to do because I am AetherClan's admin and I always feel bad knowing that.
It would be completely unfair for me to say that you shouldn't be around anymore over this. I have stated that you aren't blame-free in this but what you did isn't remove worthy in my opinion. Nor is it something that would make me think I wouldn't want to be around you. In fact, I dont dislike you! Never once when I was thinking over this did I feel any sort of malice or hatred towards you or your person. I still do care for you and like you. I think the way you word things at times is very blunt and easy to take as passive aggressive, but never once has it made me dislike you. I am sorry for making you think otherwise. You're not close to the people who did what they did to me, in fact they're not who they were anymore either, but I deeply apologize to you for inferring that you were close to that. I really don't want you to think that you're as bad as something that caused me a lot of heartache. Please don't worry yourself with that. Or feeling that way if you did. <3
ps. If for whatever reason, you did want to try and do some cute sort of pining best friend / crush with Milkblossom and Duskriver again, or if you'd rather Milkblossom be with Firesky, I implore you to let us know. I think her story is unique and she's really pretty. It'd be a waste to get rid of her.
I think safe to say, we can all be better with our words. I'm sorry for being so trigger-happy in wanting to end my relation to AetherClan. I read a post today that said,
"If you quit now... you'll end up right back where you first began. And when you first began, you were desperate to be where you are RIGHT NOW. KEEP GOING!"
and it was too perfect for me to read today. I needed it to realize what I have here. I love and care for all of you guys, and I apologize greatly for acting as if that could be broken so simply. I was honestly ready to just ditch the site. I unfollowed everyone... was going to delete my profile... just to completely get myself away from an event that isn't at all relevant to right now. ^^; Utterly sorry for that and you're all within your own rights to not forgive me for it.
Leaving was what I felt I really wanted to do when I mentioned this past experience, and honestly... this moment here was not that. I'm super happy i'm able to discern that now.
I want to apologize to everyone first and foremost for letting my emotions get the best of me. I did feel that once I could recognize what was putting me on edge it was hard to stop myself from feeling the hurt and vexation from the past. It was after my post addressing that moment when I started to feel really upset over it. Which was honestly so weird when I try to feel how I felt in that moment. Never once in any of my responses did I feel the connection between this event and the previous event before I let myself. And once I did this situation suddenly became a lot worse to me. I should never had made the connection between this and my previous incident. As this one has similar context, but is not the same to me at all.
I do want to say that it's not your fault ♡ Bun ♡ that I have gone through something somewhat close to what happened here. I should not have brought that in and I apologize for that!
Now.. I want for the rest of this to be addressed to ♡ Bun ♡ only;
Though I say now, from your responses to me throughout, I think for everyone too, you need to be clearer when you ask things of others. And also completely put on the table what you want to ask of others. On-top of that, I think it would be best for you too to take a moment to calm down before responding if you're feeling... really emotional over something someone is doing that you don't like. A lot of this, upon review, is completely caused by us not reading eachother properly. We both kept egging eachother on without realizing it I think, and it was really hard for me to address that properly. I am sorry for misreading you and I imagine you feel the same way.
However,
People are free to remove themselves from a character or plot if they so wish. While I did feel that I needed to be excluded, I should not have gotten the reaction that I did. As much as I am at fault for assuming their relationship was to be romantic, you didn't give the same attitude to Spotted when she took back Firesky. I don't see how Duskriver's exclusion should have been treated differently here. You said yourself that it was only supposed to be crushing on Milkblossom's end, romance was NOT for sure, 50/50 chance, and lastly you offered her to Spotted. Excitement or not, you were looking for romance with Firesky for Milkblossom.. and there's nothing wrong with that! Just as there was nothing wrong with me deciding that i'd prefer to end the best friend/crush relationship Milkblossom had with Duskriver because you were interested in other characters for her romantically. If Milkblossom is getting romantic with someone else and I had assumed that she was a romantic option for Duskriver... I'm allowed to decide that I won't indulge her character anymore. I'm well within my rights to. I address this entirely because your reaction here was definitely not the right one. This is the moment, I believe, where everything started to fall apart.
I can now appreciate that you tried to make it work with me still. Regardless, I don't know how to say that it didn't feel right that you were quick to offer Milkblossom back to me for Duskriver, despite your initial intentions for the two. I feel that it was an attempt to make things better somehow? But it was taken offensively, as it felt like some type of damage control and also contradicted what you were saying throughout the entirety of this which didn't sit well with me. It also made me feel like I was forcing you to do things for me in order to get my way, which I have a complex about. I'm sorry. I would never want anyone to feel like i'm abusing my power as admin. Someone has told me in the past that they used to go along with what I wanted to do because I am AetherClan's admin and I always feel bad knowing that.
It would be completely unfair for me to say that you shouldn't be around anymore over this. I have stated that you aren't blame-free in this but what you did isn't remove worthy in my opinion. Nor is it something that would make me think I wouldn't want to be around you. In fact, I dont dislike you! Never once when I was thinking over this did I feel any sort of malice or hatred towards you or your person. I still do care for you and like you. I think the way you word things at times is very blunt and easy to take as passive aggressive, but never once has it made me dislike you. I am sorry for making you think otherwise. You're not close to the people who did what they did to me, in fact they're not who they were anymore either, but I deeply apologize to you for inferring that you were close to that. I really don't want you to think that you're as bad as something that caused me a lot of heartache. Please don't worry yourself with that. Or feeling that way if you did. <3
ps. If for whatever reason, you did want to try and do some cute sort of pining best friend / crush with Milkblossom and Duskriver again, or if you'd rather Milkblossom be with Firesky, I implore you to let us know. I think her story is unique and she's really pretty. It'd be a waste to get rid of her.
I think safe to say, we can all be better with our words. I'm sorry for being so trigger-happy in wanting to end my relation to AetherClan. I read a post today that said,
"If you quit now... you'll end up right back where you first began. And when you first began, you were desperate to be where you are RIGHT NOW. KEEP GOING!"
and it was too perfect for me to read today. I needed it to realize what I have here. I love and care for all of you guys, and I apologize greatly for acting as if that could be broken so simply. I was honestly ready to just ditch the site. I unfollowed everyone... was going to delete my profile... just to completely get myself away from an event that isn't at all relevant to right now. ^^; Utterly sorry for that and you're all within your own rights to not forgive me for it.
