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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:08:54 GMT -5
Hello, you can call me Bird. This is an Ivypool and Hawkfrost story, taking place during the fourth arc of warriors. Enjoy. The events in this story will not happen as they occurred in the books; this is, after all, my story.
“There are times, in moments- fits of weakness, or loneliness, we allow ourselves to seek comfort in the things we know to be false. We opt to pour into ourselves deception because it is dazzling, irresistible, courageously perfect. It is at those times that we are at our weakest, our most vulnerable. It is at those times that we can be touched, hurt, and damaged to the point of breaking.”
The Chapters
Are you craving more? Check out the short story Dreams Unwind- it is the follow up to this story. It picks up a moon after the epilogue and explores all the problems with having half clan kits and the aftermath of Ivypool's many exploits during this story. Someone who you thought was gone will be making a reappearance...I wonder who it could be? Le gasp!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:30:55 GMT -5
Opening I guess life is one explanation. Or rather, not knowing his life. I had known him only in death; and in death, he could be great. He could be whatever I needed; and he was, how he was so much that I needed.
And because I didn’t know who he was, I could pretend. Fill in the blanks in his story with what I thought would fit; rewrite history, because it was possible when it was just the two of us. The problem is, sometimes it’s hard to stop pretending when you wake up and are, again, alone. Though I guess it wasn’t hard to stop, I just didn’t want to.
I wanted so many things and he gave them to me. But is it possible to gain happiness from your own fantasies? Is it real, if it isn’t tangible? Am I just a silly she cat looking for peace in the home of savages? Even I don’t know, not really. Emotions are confusing. My heart became such a dark and mysterious place that I don’t even recognize it anymore. Whatever comes from it is hard to trust, even harder to resist. So I laugh at myself from time to time, at all the things I’ve created, the lies I’ve told. I’ve been dancing in the dark for so long, I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was in the light of day.
No one really understood; they didn’t get it, they can’t. There’s really no use trying to explain it to those who have something they can touch; something real. They’ll never really understand what it’s like to take comfort in a fantasy, a dream: a lie.
Chapter 1: Hey “Where am I?” Ivypaw asked, glancing around the dank clearing. She only caught a glimpse of a few trees and a darkened sky before a fog began to roll in.
“You are home.” The voice was strong, confident, warm. It scared Ivypaw at first. Not enough to make her run, but enough to put her on edge.
“Home where? My home is the ThuderClan camp,” she answered, trying to hide the fear in her mew. She felt, more than heard the next words.
“Home is where the heart lies.” He was near her now; she could tell it was a he.
“Well my heart lies in ThunderClan,” Ivypaw called out, shifting uncomfortably on her paws. The fog stirred, for a heartbeat, not enough that she could see, but enough that she became distracted.
“Maybe it does. But does your clan feel the same?” it was an odd question, completely unnecessary. So she ignored it.
“Why are you hiding from me?” Ivypaw asked, swiveling her head back and forth. She was determined to use her new skills to find this cat.
“Are you sure you want to see me?” he asked. Ivypaw rolled her eyes; she suddenly wished she could wake up. Then it struck her; this was a dream! One she controlled; which meant she could wake up; she could even see him, if she cared to. She willed the fog away; nothing happened.
“I’m sorry, Ivypaw. This is a dream, but not your dream,” the cat told her.
“Then you’re from StarClan,” Ivypaw concluded, rather triumphantly. “That makes me special, since you came to visit me.”
“You’re right, and wrong,” the tom told her. “My presence here doesn’t make you special; you being special requires my presence here.” Ivypaw liked hearing that. She felt the wind blow, stirring the fog around her. It grew stronger, until she could hear nothing but the deafening roar of the wind tearing through the trees and erasing the fog. In an instance, she only caught a glimpse of him before waking; only a glimpse. All morning, all Ivypaw could see were those eyes…they followed her. Haunted her. They were so different...such a pale shade of blue. Ice blue, cold and strong and independent. They matched the cat she thought she had met, yet she couldn’t understand why a StarClan cat would be so mysterious about their presence. Watching her sister training with Lionblaze reminded her of what the tom had told her: “Me visiting you doesn’t make you special. You being special makes me visit you.” She knew in her heart that Dovepaw was special; that much was clear. She was the only apprentice who got to go save the clans and chase down beavers. And all she does now is run around with Lionblaze and Jayfeather. But now, she too had been recognized. And not by some blind medicine cat, but by a StarClan cat. A cat who can see all and chose to pay attention to her.
“Ivypaw, you could at least try to pay attention,” Cinderheart scolded her, dragging her out of her thoughts. Cinderheart had been going on and on about this clan and that border, as if she didn’t already know all that stuff. Sometimes, Cinderheart only spoke to hear her own voice. “Ivypaw? Are you still there? Did you hear a word I said?”
“I’m sorry Cinderheart. I’m just a little distracted,” Ivypaw meowed, hoping to smooth her mentors ruffled fur. “I was just thinking about Dovepaw and Lionblaze.” Not surprisingly, Cinderheart’s ears shot up and her eyes opened wider at the mention of the golden warrior’s name.
“Don’t worry about them, Ivypaw. Dovepaw works hard, and so does Lionblaze. They’re always training and Dovepaw’s a really great apprentice,” Cinderheart told her. You mean Lionblaze is a really great mentor, Ivypaw thought, slightly rolling her eyes.
“That’s why she spends all her time with Jayfeather and Lionblaze, sneaking around and always training alone,” Ivypaw hadn’t meant to sound as harsh as she had, but the words were gone now.
“And you feel like you’re being left out,” the pity in Cinderheart’s throat was matched only by the sadness clouding her eyes. “Ivypaw, you’ve got your own destiny. You can’t expect to be a part of everything Dovepaw is; after all, you two aren’t kits anymore.” That wasn’t the same as “Ivypaw, you’re special too.” At that moment, she couldn’t help but pray her StarClan cat would pay her a visit again tonight, no matter how much sleep he stole from her. She tried placing his eyes on Cinderheart and realized too quickly they didn’t fit; didn’t belong.
“It’s fine Cinderheart. So are we going to do anything else today?”
…
“Ivypaw! You won’t believe what I did today!” Dovepaw’s over excited mew almost elicited an eye roll from Ivypaw, something she had become accustomed to doing.
“You trained with Lionblaze,” Ivypaw meowed between bites of a mouse. She had been eating, alone, outside of the apprentice’s den, enjoying the falling sun and the evening peace. It was rather cold; a prelude to the oncoming leaf fall.
“Not just that; I saw Mistyfoot!” Dovepaw squealed. “The RiverClan deputy!”
“I know who she is,” Ivypaw told her sister, immediately jealous. “Where did you see her?”
“You could be more excited,” Dovepaw observed, her eyes taking on a more serious look. Then, she nudged Ivypaw’s shoulder with her paw. “She was going to get her nine lives. Leopardstar died!”
“I just hope Mistyfoot is ready. Everything’s changed now. Everything.” “Do you trust me?”
“I don’t even know your name,” Ivypaw objected. She had fallen asleep that night and found herself in this dream world again, but this time, she could see him clearly. No mist, no hiding, just her and him in a field of lilies. They were pretty flowers but they didn’t seem to fit him. She could now see where his eyes truly belonged; sculpted into his strong dark brown face, accompanied by long whiskers and a well-muscled dark brown tabby body. He had a white underbelly, so white it was almost out of place, and he was twice as tall as she was. Yet he wasn’t perfect; he had lived the life of a warrior and it showed in his proudly displayed battle scars.
“Trust is about putting your faith in things you don’t know. It’s not really trusting if you have to know first,” the tom countered. Ivypaw tossed his words over in her mind; he was right, in a way.
“Fine. But I still think you should tell me your name. You know mine; it’s only fair,” Ivypaw pointed out, scraping the ground with her claws. She felt him watching her and looked away.
“I know a lot of things you don’t. That’s life,” the blue-eyed tom told her.
“I know somethings you don’t too,” Ivypaw meowed, turning her nose up at him. “Just because you’re dead doesn’t make you smarter than me.”
“like what?” he asked, moving closer to her. The grass seemed to part to let him through, as if he was some sort of super cat.
“I’m not telling you,” Ivypaw meowed stubbornly. “If I did, you’d just say you already know. And then you wouldn’t tell me what I want to know.” He moved closer still, until he was a mouse tail away from him, his eyes staring into hers.
“I guess you just have to trust that I wouldn’t lie to you,” he seemed so…sincere in his mew, that Ivypaw had to force herself not to look at him, as if looking would draw her in, get her hooked.
“I could, if I knew who I was trusting,” Ivypaw meowed, almost choking on her words as they came out. It was a power struggle; who would be the first to cave?
“Why is it so important to know my name? It won’t bring you anything special,” he asked.
“Because then I can feel like I’m talking to a cat. A friend,” Ivypaw looked at her paws as she admitted the last part; she had hoped to consider him a friend. Someone she could trust; yet she didn’t know if he could consider her as such.
“Hawkfrost,” as soon as he spoke his name, she felt something; it was like a mass of energy, something powerful rushed through her body.
“Hawkfrost,” Ivypaw said his name aloud, her mouth tingling. Somehow, it felt forbidden; like taking the juiciest prey off of the fresh kill pile before any other cat could. “Well Hawkfrost, I bet you didn’t know that Mistyfoot became Mistystar today.” She recognized a flash of something like jealousy in his icey eyes. Had he known her in his life?
“And why would you think I didn’t know that?” Hawkfrost posed.
“I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a RiverClan cat,” Ivypaw told him.
“I was once the RiverClan deputy,” Hawkfrost informed her, pride beginning to dance forth in his eyes. “For a time, at least. Though I can’t imagine a cat worse to lead RiverClan.”
“Why would you say that? I saw Mistystar at a gathering, and she seemed nice enough. And Firestar really likes her,” Ivypaw asked, confused. If she had been his clanmate, why wouldn’t he have known?
“Would you like to learn something new?” Hawkfrost asked.
“Sure,” Ivypaw meowed.
“There are cats who believe that cats like Mistystar, like Firestar, are unfit to be leader. They are too lax, too friendly to effectively defend their own borders. Too confident in friendships with cats who are their rivals by nature to ever really lead a clan of cats. I am one of those cats. You say Mistystar is kind? It shows she is weak; a pushover. That is why I was so reluctant to allow her to remain as deputy once she returned. I wasn’t the only cat who felt this way; just one of the few who did something about it. I believed, and still do, that I was the better cat to lead RiverClan. Yet I wasn’t as lucky as she; when you stand against something powerful, often times you are left to stand alone. Those that say that they are with you, say that they trust you, often falter and fade at the time of action, when words are no longer enough. That’s why I died; because I refused to budge, even when I was left standing alone. I see that same ferocity, that need to protect your clan at all costs in you, Ivypaw. Your eyes hold the same fire, and I know that with my help, you can do truly great things. And with my help, you will never be alone.”
... Ivypaw awoke with his name still on her lips and his words dancing around her head. It was a little before sunrise yet she was practically bursting with energy. She would do great things! Her, not Dovepaw. Sitting up in her nest, she glanced over at her sister, still sound asleep. She looked peaceful, probably dreaming of a mouse or something just as useless. Her nights weren’t wasted like all the other cats, and she swelled with pride at that.
“Come on Ivypaw- or did you forget about the dawn patrol?” She could hear Cinderheart calling for her, and a thought struck her mind; she could get Cinderheart to tell her about Hawkfrost! Eagerly, she raced out of her den not bothering to groom her fur, and almost collided with her mentor. “You’re pretty excited for a cat doing dawn patrol. You know something I don’t?”
“Actually, you know something I don’t,” Ivypaw told her, her mind buzzing.
“I’d hope so, considering I’m your mentor,” Cinderheart responded, her eyes curious yet cautious. How could her mentor already lack faith in her? If that was the case, she would find out some other way. “Anything...specific?”
“You know who’s going on the dawn patrol with us; I don’t,” Ivypaw lied, quickly falling on the only thing she could think of. Cinderheart narrowed her eyes at her; could she tell she was lying?
“Cloudtail and Brackenfur,” Cinderheart said their names and turned away from her, clearly expecting her to follow. Ivypaw let out a sigh and trotted behind her mentor, following her out of camp to where the white warrior waited, a little impatiently.
“What took so long?” Cloudtail asked, his attention snapping to them as they walked up. Brackenfur only nodded his acknowledgement as he lay on the forest floor, lazily grooming his fur.
“I have a curious apprentice,” Cinderheart told him. “Not unlike you were; always wanting to know everything before it was time, getting caught up on silly details, wanting to be right.”
“And how would you know what I was like as an apprentice?” Cloudtail retorted hotly, his blue eyes gaining steam. Cinderheart paused for a heartbeat, confused.
“I was only teasing, Cloudtail. Lighten up,” she forced the cheer in her mew as she breezed past him. “We ready to go?”
“These cats are wasting your time, Ivypaw. You’re better than their squabbling. They don’t see it, but they will,” had Ivypaw imagined that? Or had Hawkfrost, her nighttime adventure, found a way to reach her in the waking world? It set her senses a blaze to think that he would go out of his way to encourage her, to find her. It made her feel he really believed the things he had told her and helped her to believe them even more. Her tail held high, Ivypaw walked past the warriors as if she were meant to and began setting out.
“We’re supposed to be headed for the ShadowClan border, right? Wouldn’t want them thinking we’re sleeping on our borders and hoping to steal some prey.”
… “She’s practically eating out of my paw,” Hawkfrost stood before Tigerstar, reporting to him about his latest conquest. “I was right in choosing her; she’s the perfect cat.”
“Really? And what happens when she finds out what you’re really up to?” Darkstripe spoke, out of turn, joining the two massive warriors. “I doubt she’ll be so blind that she’d go along with it.”
“By then, she won’t have a choice. She’ll be so far involved she can’t just pull out. And if she does, I’ll just kill her,” Hawkfrost told him, shrugging his shoulders. “There are other cats around the lake.”
“There aren’t other cats who are that close to this prophecy, or to Firestar,” Tigerstar reminded his son. “You failed with Brambleclaw but you were getting to him, and would have succeeded with bringing him to our side had it not been for Squirrelflight. You underestimated the influence she held over him. Don’t make that mistake twice.”
“That’s because ThunderClan cats are fickle. Always have been,” Brokenstar growled, stalking over to them. He flicked his battle torn ear in greeting.
“You’d say that in front of two ThuderClan warriors?” Darkstripe challenged. This time, however, it didn’t go unpunished; Brokenstar swung a massive paw at his head, bowling the skinny tom over. Darkstripe quickly got to his paws, preparing to attack; but a quick look at Tigerstar made him stop. Instead he angrily stalked off, muttering curses at Brokenstar.
“You can do better, Hawkfrost, then some jealous doe eyed apprentice,” Brokenstar continued.
“Brokenstar, recall that I am in charge here. You would be nothing than a bitter and hateful ghost of a warrior, not unlike what you became in the moons leading up to your death. Without me, you’d have nothing. I don’t intend to remind you of that again,” Tigerstar was unusually calm as he spoke, his tail tip slightly flicking back and forth. Brokenstar held his ground; staring Tigerstar down. He knew in a fair fight, he could destroy the arrogant dark tabby, but life had a habit of being remarkably unfair. Especially when one resided in this blackened forest, where no moon nor sun shone. “Hawkfrost, you have to seem more than just a mentor to her. You have to become her StarClan; consume her thoughts so that she will, without a doubt, follow you. If you succeeded, we will go undefeated.”
Chapter 3: She Who Dances With Wolves...
Ivypaw stood, panting, in their dream field. Gone was the fog; it had been replaced with air that, with each passing night, grew staler. Her body ached and her muscles screamed, but she wouldn’t let her guard down around Hawkfrost, not when he had been pushing her so hard. For the past few moons in fact he had begun teaching her battle moves in an attempt to hone her skills. Thanks to his help she had progressed remarkably well, and it left her eager to learn new moves. But he had seasons of experience and plenty to teach her; she always felt as if she couldn’t compete, she couldn’t meet his standards. Which was fine, because in the waking world, in what she was convinced was the real world, she had long since surpassed her sister in battle, even though Dovepaw’s hunting skills were suspiciously amazing.
Cinderheart had been training her too and attributed Ivypaw’s success to her own skills, foolishly thinking she was of any real threat in battle. Ivypaw didn’t bother to correct her; she, instead, chose to play as if the moves she learned from Cinderheart were hard for her in the beginning, even though they were amateur moves. She felt more than confident that if she showed Cinderheart the true extent of her training, Cinderheart wouldn’t be so condescending. “What are you thinking about?” Hawkfrost asked, drawing Ivypaw’s attention back to the present. The well-muscled frost-eyed warrior stood before her, analyzing her. She found something close to comfort in the way he could read her; it was nice to know that someone cared enough to try.
“My real mentor,” Ivypaw meowed, stressing the real.
“You don’t have to think about me when I’m standing right here,” Hawkfrost meowed, blinking his eyes.
“Of course you’re not my real mentor, Hawkfrost,” Ivypaw pointed out, the loftiness in her mew clear. “You’d have to be alive to be that.”
“Ivypaw, you’ll find that the barrier between the living and the dead is quite fickle,” Hawkfrost told her, his eyes bearing into hers. “Death is, after all, nothing more than an illusion to those who know how to manipulate it. There will come a time where the dead and the living will be one in the same, so long as they both exist.” Hawkfrost had confused her again with his talk, but she was beginning to see that he wasn’t just rambling. There was a theme to his words, a consistency that became a bit clearer every time they talked.
“Well, as far as we’re concerned, you’re dead and I’m alive. And that’s not going to change anytime soon,” Ivypaw meowed dismissively. Hawkfrost stared at her, his ice blue eyes hiding his true thoughts.
“You are free to leave now, Ivypaw,” Hawkfrost meowed evenly.
“But Hawkfrost-“
“Go. Rest. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow,” Hawkfrost was a bit firmer in his tone and her dismissal was evident. She thought about protesting more but decided not too; she already had enough scars for one night’s training session. He was never cruel to her, but he wasn’t lax either. He believed that training her with his claws unsheathed helped her to be a better fighter; as he had phrased it “Would you teach a cat to swim on land?”
“Okay Hawkfrost. Will we meet again?” Ivypaw hadn’t meant to sound so needy, but it seemed like Hawkfrost wasn’t just sending her home for the night, and she didn’t want to ruin the one thing she had going for her. But he didn’t answer; instead, he turned away from her and a thick fog came rolling in like waves from the lake against the shore, and soon she was surrounded by them. She began to run in confusion, and then slammed into something hard.
Waking with a start, Ivypaw sat up in her nest, her mind buzzing. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening around her. She realized she was alone in her den, which didn’t make sense. Where was Dovepaw? Dawn hadn’t even broken yet. Ivypaw shook her head. She had her own problems to worry about; she couldn’t be bothered with the whims of her stuck-up sister. And almost as if she had been summoned, Dovepaw came trudging into their den, her eyes dull and defeated. She looked tired and upset, but Ivypaw didn’t bother to ask why. Dovepaw, however, was clearly determined to get something out of Ivypaw, and made a show of settling down in her nest; huffing and puffing and sighing, moving around as much as possible, rolling over again and again in her nest. Finally she sat up and stared at Ivypaw for a heartbeat before speaking.
“Aren’t you going to ask where I’ve been? Aren’t you the least bit curious?” Dovepaw asked.
“What has the great Dovepaw been up to now? Saving the clan from dogs this time?” Ivypaw asked, her words decorated with sarcasm.
“Not really. Well, kind of. So when I was training with Lionblaze today, I found out there were dogs on the moor. And I was worried about Sedgewhisker. So, when Lionblaze wouldn’t let me go check on her, I snuck across the border to see if she was okay. But I got caught before I could see her, and Heathertail and Breezepelt brought me back across the border. They took me to Firestar, and then he said it was up to Lionblaze what my punishment was,” Dovepaw explained, a little too excited.
“I bet you’re in huge trouble,” Ivypaw guessed, getting more interested.
“Well, yes and no. Lionblaze told me not to do it again, and he put up a fuss, but I could tell he wasn’t really mad….well, not anymore,” Dovepaw told her. As her sister began to speak again, Ivypaw got to her paws and stalked out of the apprentice’s den. Dovepaw can sneak out of camp and onto enemy territory, and she gets told not to do it again! She knew that if she had done the same, she would have been stuck cleaning out the elder’s den for a moon. This was what her life had become; watching Dovepaw being placed on a pedestal while she had to creep around in the shadows. She would show them all. They would learn how important she was.
Ivypaw hadn’t stopped until she reached the lake shore, anger motivating her to put as much distance as possible between herself and her sister. She stared out across the lake, imagining she could see RiverClan. She had, of course, never even been there, but she wondered what it would be like. What it had been like, when Hawkfrost was alive. Would she have liked him? Of course. Would he have remained deputy, and then became leader? And I, his deputy?
“There’s no need for you to wonder about that, Ivypaw. If you had lived in RiverClan, and I were still alive, I would make you my deputy. You would have been the cat I trusted most.” Had she imagined it? No, she realized, jerking her head to see him standing, standing, a few tail lengths behind her. His brilliant blue eyes glistened in the rising morning sun, though his image faltered a bit. Maybe she was imagining him; after all, she did that a lot. But he seemed so real; so tangible.
“H-hh-hawkfrost?” Ivypaw stuttered, shocked.
“In the flesh,” Hawkfrost purred, strolling confidently over to her. Then he was beside her; was he alive? Was he really here? She could feel him next to her, the way you can feel the sunlight, but when she leaned closer, he didn’t feel like he did in her dreams. There, he felt more alive, yet here, she could smell the scent of death, however faint, on his fur.
“But how? I thought-“
“Let’s not worry about what your mind is only barely able to grasp, Ivypaw. Just know that I hold more power in my paws than any cat you know,” Ivypaw could only manage to stare at him, her dark blue eyes wide in shock. She was still trying to rationalize his presence here with her while he seemed so confident she felt he must have done this before. Had he come back to life?
“No, Ivypaw. I am still dead; that much hasn’t changed. But I am here, in your world. In our world.”
“What do you mean, our world?” Ivypaw asked.
“I once lived around this lake too. I was here when RiverClan found its home and I helped protect it,” Hawkfrost explained. “I can show it to you, if you want.”
“There’s no way we could go there without getting caught,” Ivypaw meowed. “It’s too dangerous.”
“You mean like how Dovepaw went to WindClan? Ivypaw, the two of us are capable of so many things if you only open your mind to them,” Hawkfrost told her. He moved a little bit closer, then nudged her shoulder with his muzzle. “Don’t you believe in me?”
“Of course I do, Hawkfrost,” Ivypaw told him, almost pleading with him to believe her. She had become surprisingly dependent on his presence in just a few short moons and it was scary.
“We’ll see about that, tonight, Ivypaw,” Hawkfrost told her, resting his tail on her shoulders. “But until then take care.” Before she could react he bounded into the lake, and disappeared with the receding tides.
“Ivypaw?” Ivypaw turned around at the familiar voice of her deputy, Brambleclaw. She realized upon seeing him how much he favored Hawkfrost; not much in his attitude, but in his looks and stature. She had heard other warriors talk about Brambleclaw having siblings, but the only one she knew of was Tawnypelt. Most cats didn’t bother to tell her anything, so she couldn’t be sure, but they could be brothers.
“Yes?” Ivypaw asked, giving her chest fur a few licks. How much had he seen? Even in the steadily growing sunlight, the dark tabby warrior would have been well hidden in the dense undergrowth that filled the forest, even in the vastly approaching leaf bare.
“What are you doing out here by yourself? You know apprentices aren’t allowed to leave camp alone,” Brambleclaw asked. He still didn’t move from where he stood, a few fox lengths behind her, standing on some brown and brittle leaves. She couldn’t read the expression in his eyes; what was going through his mind?
“I’m sorry, Brambleclaw. I just- needed some space,” Ivypaw told him, looking at her paws. “I didn’t think about the rules, I’m sorry.”
“Well what were you thinking about?” Brambleclaw asked. This time he did approach her. She immediately knew something was off. He couldn’t have seen Hawkfrost, right? Hawkfrost was only there in her mind. He was dead; nothing more than a spirit.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Ivypaw sighed, looking away from him.
“Try me,” Brambleclaw told her, sounding a touch more friendly.
“I just feel like no one ever pays attention to me, and nothing I do is ever going to be good enough,” she didn’t bother to mention Dovepaw; she knew it was implied.
“You aren’t defined by your sister, Ivypaw,” Brambleclaw told her, guessing what she meant. “Just look at me and Tawnypelt. She’s a loyal ShadowClan warrior, and I’m the ThunderClan deputy. We both love the lives we live, even though they are so different.”
“Was she your only sister?’ Ivypaw asked, curiosity making her bold.
“No. I have a brother, and another sister,” Brambleclaw told her. She could sense the change in the atmosphere around him; he had grown incredibly tenser. Was he about to say what she wanted to hear?
“Really? What clan are they in?” Ivypaw tried to hide her excitement, but she felt like a kit about to be made an apprentice.
“RiverClan. Mothwing is my sister, and her brother, Hawkfrost, is my brother,” Brambleclaw told her. “Now let’s get back to camp.”
Chapter 4: ...Will Quickly Become Prey“Ivypaw, there’s someone I’m going to take you to meet,” Hawkfrost finally spoke to her after sitting and watching her practice some of the moves he had shown her over and over again. “But before I do, I should explain a few things to you. Come and sit with me.” Hawkfrost gestured to the patch of nearly dead grass beside him and Ivypaw gladly joined him.
“Who is it?” Ivypaw asked.
“First, I want you to understand that what I did this morning by the lake is something you can’t talk about. There aren’t many living cats who understand what we have; even fewer dead. But these cats, they believe in you to, though not as strongly as I do. They don’t trust you, not yet. They haven’t seen your devotion, and they don’t know how dedicated you are, but you will show them. They will try to intimidate you; don’t let them. Stand your ground, be proud, and know that you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t good enough,” Hawkfrost had become extremely serious and surprisingly comforting, though the end result was makin her more nervous.
“Well if it’s going to be that serious, maybe this could wait,” Ivypaw meowed apprehensively.
“Don’t worry, Ivypaw. Through it all, I will be by your side,” Hawkfrost told her, coming off a little sweeter. “You do know that, right? I won’t toss you aside.” Ivypaw looked at her paws. This was exactly what she wanted to hear; that someone, even a dead cat, cared enough to stand by her side. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but in that moment, she realized all her doubts about Hawkfrost were gone.
... “Tigerstar,” Hawkfrost meowed a polite greeting to the massive dark tabby who sat amongst the twisted roots of an unfamiliar tree. Ivypaw felt infinitely smaller than the menacing tom and had to force herself to meet his amber eyes and try to swallow her fear. “This is the cat I’ve told you about; this is Ivypaw.” Hawkfrost stepped to the side, presenting her to him. “Relax, Ivypaw. He won’t bite.” She could hear Hawkfrost whispering in her ear, but she couldn’t make out what. What did he expect from her? Should she say something?
“Hi. I’m Ivypaw,” Ivypaw spoke, her throat dry and her mew like claws on stone. She knew she sounded stupid, but how could she not? This was, after all, nothing like she expected. She knew who Tigerstar was; every cat in the forest did. He was a killer, a maniac who tried to take over the forest. How did Hawkfrost know him? And why would he bring her to meet such a cat?
“Welcome, Ivypaw,” his deep mew reverberated throughout the forest, and, as if it were some sort of signal, more warriors began to form around them as if they grew from the dirt or the shadows. “This meeting has been long overdue. But I believe you will fit in around here.” A skinny dark gray tabby tom slithered next to Tigerstar, his amber eyes glittering as if he were about to pounce on a rabbit.
“She looks scared,” the tabby sneered.
“I’m not afraid of any of you,” Ivypaw spoke before she thought, garnering attention from all the cats surrounding her. She didn’t like the way they seemed to move steadily closer; as if they planned to trap her in. She wanted to run to Hawkfrost but could sense she’d fare better in front of these cats if she stood alone, as Hawkfrost had. “I may be an apprentice, but that doesn’t make me a pushover.” Tigerstar gave a slight nod of approval before speaking to Hawkfrost.
“It seems we are the lucky ones, then,” Tigerstar meowed. “Your apprentice has a back bone, which is hard to find in clan cats, especially when cats like Firestar are allowed to lead what used to be the forests’ greatest clan.”
“She has more than a back bone. She is the one who will lead us to victory,” Hawkfrost spoke on her behalf, and she was surprised to hear such faith in her skills. “In time, of course. She isn’t there yet, but she will be.”
“Ivypaw, you have been loyal to Hawkfrost, and to me, since the day you began training,” Tigerstar meowed. She wasn’t sure she liked where this was going; she never imagined she’d be talking to Tigerstar, or that she would be working with the hateful tom. “Even though you didn’t know why you kept him a secret, because you understand that the cats around the lake would never understand us, as they don’t understand you. That is why I will trust you with a bit of information about your sister, Dovepaw.”
“What has Dovepaw got to do with anything?” Ivypaw asked, a bit offended. Even here, was she not enough? Did Dovepaw have to ruin a place she’d never even set a paw?
“Dovepaw is a part of a prophecy, an old prophecy given to Firestar. It says that she, along with Lionblaze and Jayfeather, will hold the power of the stars in their paws. So, in Firestar’s eyes, she is special; better than every other warrior in his clan. But he is wrong. While she may be in a prophecy, without it, she has nothing. You, on the other hand, are a blossoming asset to any cat, one we were fortunate enough to allow to bloom on our land. You may have noticed this, but there is no life in this forest. There is no sun, no moon, no stars; no breeze. This is the home that StarClan has granted us; a place they deemed unfit for themselves. They believe we don’t care about the clans we left behind; they are wrong. ThunderClan will always be my home, and you are its future. And one day, when I am through with you Ivypaw, you will be the leader of a true clan,” This was a lot to take in for Ivypaw; more than she could handle. Dovepaw was a part of some great big prophecy and never even told her. And now Tigerstar was promising to make her leader of ThunderClan. But could she trust him? After all, she knew the stories, but maybe they we’re all just that. When she looked into his eyes, she could tell he cared about ThunderClan, and that meant he couldn’t be all that bad. Besides, Hawkfrost was here with her, and he clearly stood with Tigerstar. Didn’t that make Tigerstar a trustworthy cat?
“What do I have to do?” Or did that make Hawkfrost someone I can’t trust?
Chapter 5: Everything Has Changed“This is insane; I can’t pull something like this off,” Ivypaw spoke aloud to herself as she stood outside Firestar’s den. She remembered everything Tigerstar had told her, though he had allowed her to use her own creativity. She knew he was right; Shadowclan did see ThuderClan as weaker. But to fake a sign from StarClan was taking things too far. If she were found out they would probably toss her out of camp. Even though Hawkfrost had confidence that it could be done rather easily and Tigerstar had assured her that Firestar was foolish enough to believe anything if it was from StarClan, it didn’t mean he would be foolish enough to believe her. “Ivypaw? Is that you?” She heard Firestar call to her from inside his den; it was too late to turn back now. She could lie and leave, but it was still early; the dawn patrol had only just left. He would be questioning her presence here, and if she tried again, he wouldn’t believe her.
“Yes Firestar. Can I come in?” Ivypaw asked, swallowing her fear. Hawkfrost had told her to be charming and confused and to play up her innocence; she just prayed that it would work.
“Of course,” Firestar told her. Taking a deep breath, she entered his cave and came face to face with the ginger leader. He sat in his comfortable nest, his paws tucked under his belly.
“What is it? It’s a little early for you to be up,” Firestar asked, concerned. She wondered if he would have preferred to see Dovepaw, and knew it was so. She remembered what Tigerstar had told her; Firestar probably never even noticed her.
“Well, it was hard for me to sleep,” Ivypaw admitted. That in itself wasn’t a lie. “Actually, I’ve been having trouble sleeping for a while now.”
“You should probably talk to Jayfeather then,” Firestar offered. “He could give you some poppy seeds or something.”
“Actually, I thought about talking to him,” Ivypaw meowed. “He is the medicine cat and he’s close to Dovepaw, even though he never talks to me. He’s used to strange dreams and all, but I think it’d be better if I talked to you.”
“Strange dreams?” Firestar immediately perked up at the mention of dreams. She had his interest, for the time being. She now only had to convince him to believe her. “What are they about?”
“Well, it started a few nights ago, after I went on a patrol to the Shadowclan border. I felt uneasy the whole time I was there. Then, when I returned that night, I dreamed of warriors appearing in the shadows of ThunderClan territory. I ran, but I couldn’t escape them; they were everywhere, Firestar. More than I’d ever seen. Then, they were in the camp, and in the nursery. They were taking everything we had and calling it theirs! And they didn’t stop. They were yelling that ThunderClan was too weak to stop them, and any cat who stood up to them would die. I’ve..I’ve never felt so powerless to do something in my life. But I couldn’t wake up, not until after it was all theirs. And then last night, I met a different cat; she said she was ThuderClan’s medicine cat. She was so pretty and kind. She told me that things we’re changing in the forest, and that the respect between the clans was fading. She said something about gifts being seen as weaknesses, and that cats that spend their time in the shadows don’t know kindness, and can’t be trusted,” Ivypaw looked into Firestar’s eyes once she finished speaking, hoping to read his thoughts, but they had become emerald shields. She had once heard that Firestar’s eyes always betrayed his heart; apparently that wasn’t always true. He stayed silent for so long that she wondered if she should speak again. But when he did, it wasn’t what she expected.
“This she cat- what did she look like?” Firestar asked, looking up at her. Ivypaw blanked for a heartbeat, suddenly nervous.
“I think she was a tortoiseshell, but I don’t remember her name,” Ivypaw meowed quickly. She in fact, knew a bit about the cat she was making up; her name was Spottedleaf, and she was the former medicine cat of ThunderClan. She heard a lot about her when she was in the nursery, and Tigerstar had mentioned her the night before. “Do you know what all this might mean?”
“I need to talk this over with my senior warriors,” Firestar told her. “Please, return to your den. We’ll talk about this more later.” Ivypaw wasn’t sure how she felt about being dismissed, but at least he was doing something. She dipped her head to him and turned and left his den, bounding down the rocky path.
“Hey, Ivypaw!” Ivypaw looked to see Dovepaw sitting with the newly named Blossomfall, her sister sharing a meal with the she cat. She came over to Ivypaw, curiosity brimming her blue eyes. “What we’re you doing with Firestar?”
“What I discuss with my clan leader is none of your business, Dovepaw. But thanks for coming down to my level to ask,” Ivypaw meowed curtly, rolling her eyes before stalking away, leaving Dovepaw standing, dumbfounded. She could hear the snickers from Blossomfall and had to fight the urge to smile; she knew spending time with Hawkfrost had sharpened her tongue as well as her claws.
“That was good Ivypaw,” Ivypaw heard Hawkfrost, and a heartbeat later, saw the glow of his eyes in the apprentice’s den. Trying not to draw any more attention, she hurried in, glad to finally be alone with him.
“I was so afraid, Hawkfrost. I didn’t think-“
“Be quiet, Ivypaw. You haven’t left your camp; cats can still hear you,” Hawkfrost snapped. Ivypaw took a step back, then bowed her head in apology.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I was so nervous,” Ivypaw admitted.
“You did good, but not great. Hopefully, Firestar won’t see through your lack of confidence and he won’t brand you as a liar. Right about now, it’s your connection to Dovepaw that gives what you said to him any merit. If you were any other cat, he would have called you delusional and told you to mind your own business,” Hawkfrost was berating her like a kit, and it stung. She hadn’t expected to find such harsh words from him, not anymore.
“Hawkfrost I’m sorry. I really tried my best, but-”
“If that was your best, then perhaps Brokenstar was right about you, and you’re nothing special. You’re just another useless ThunderClan brat.”
... Ivypaw had been watching, silently, from outside of the apprentice’s den as Firestar sat and talked with Graystripe, Brambleclaw and Cloudtail. Dustpelt had been out of camp, and he put up a fuss when he returned with Thornclaw to find that they hadn’t waited for him to start. They had been talking since she left Firestar that morning and had continued well past sunhigh. Personally, she didn’t think it should take that long to come to a decision, and she was beginning to see what Hawkfrost had talked with her about; Firestar wasn’t a cat of action. He wanted to talk things over all the time, but they were warriors; made with teeth and claws to defend their borders. Fighting was in their blood, and it was an instinct that can’t be ignored. She knew that both Dustpelt and Thornclaw felt the same, as well as Cloudtail, but they would follow Firestar no matter what. She paid closer attention as Firestar glanced over at her, and then headed for the High Ledge. This is it! He’s going to announce that we’re going into battle! Ivypaw found herself flexing her claws in anticipation, eager to use her skills on real warriors. She wanted to know what it would feel like to be fighting in a real battle and knew every cat would be surprised at just how far she had come.
“Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the High Ledge for a clan meeting!” Firestar’s call was heard throughout the hollow, though it was a bit unnecessary; it seemed that most of the clan had found an excuse to linger around camp once they saw Firestar meeting with his senior warriors. They could sense something was happening and didn’t want to be the last to find out. She decided it’d be best to linger in the back so as not to seem too eager; with this being her dream causing action, she couldn’t be too cautious.
“Sit with me, Ivypaw,” Ivypaw turned to see Blossomfall, gesturing with her tail to the space next to her. Ivypaw smiled and padded over to the tortoiseshell she cat curious as to why she wanted to be close to her. She had always thought Blossomfall didn’t like her, but maybe things had changed.
“Thanks. I’m actually a little nervous,” Ivypaw admitted as she settled down.
“Why? Is this about what you talked to Firestar about?” Blossomfall asked, casually grooming her chest fur.
“Yes. I just hope-”
“ThunderClan! It has been brought to my attention by our ancestors that some of our neighbors may view us as weak because we are generous. One of our apprentices received a dream from them that told of our destruction, should we not take action. After discussing this with some of my warriors, I’ve decided to lead a patrol over to ShadowClan’s camp to warn Blackstar that we will be taking back our land, because it was always ThunderClan’s.” Ivypaw didn’t understand why Firestar chose to again fight with words; cats like Blackstar aren’t going to be intimidated because you tell them to be. Why warn them and give them time to prepare, or attack first? It’d be better to attack while they aren’t expecting it and take back the land.
“Was that what you talked to him about? You had a dream from StarClan?” the amount of shock in Blossomfall’s voice was almost offensive to Ivypaw; did these cats really think so little of her?
“Yes, I did. I didn’t think Firestar would warn him first, however,” Ivypaw told her, flicking her ear in annoyance.
“That is kind of pointless,” Blossomfall agreed, coming down from her recent high. “We’d probably win if we surprised them.”
“Why don’t we attack now?” That came from Spiderleg, who was already on his paws, fire burning in his amber eyes.
“Yeah! Why give them the advantage?” Berrynose had joined in the festivities, and it was becoming clearer that Firestar’s words had spiked more than a little clan pride. These cats were ready to fight for their clan; why wasn’t he? “I say we fight tonight!”
“Let’s show these ShadowClan cats how real warriors fight!”
“We will not attack them unprovoked,” Firestar’s tone was firm and almost angry, causing his clan to settle down, at least a little. But their want for battle was clear, which meant Firestar’s decision to give away the land in the first place couldn’t have been very popular. She was beginning to see that Firestar may not be the hero in the eyes of these cats that he once was. Or am I causing all of this? “And should any cat do so, they will answer to me.” Though no cat spoke aloud, there were plenty grumbles of disagreement from the clan, particularly from Spiderleg and Berrynose. She looked back at Mousefur, who was sitting outside of her den, her tail lashing back and forth. Firestar was, little by little, losing his hold on his clan.
“Cloudtail, Lionblaze, Brambleclaw, Bumblestripe, Squirrelflight and Sandstorm will be coming with me. The rest of you return to your duties.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:31:16 GMT -5
Chapter 6: Tooth, Claw and Breaking the Law“Blossomfall, how much trouble do you think we’d get in if we went ahead and acted now?” Ivypaw meowed, turning to the other she cat. “I don’t think we’d get in trouble if we attacked them; I think we’d get killed. You may be a good fighter, but we can’t take down a clan full of hostile warriors,” Blossomfall answered, only half kidding.
“Well we wouldn’t be alone. And I never said we had to attack,” Ivypaw explained. “This was my dream, and I know what StarClan would have wanted, and it wasn’t for us to give warnings or be idle. They wanted action, which isn’t what Firestar is good at. Why don’t we slip out of camp and mark the borders after the patrol gets back? I bet we could get Berrynose and Spiderleg to come with us.” Blossomfall looked at her through clouded eyes for a heartbeat before speaking.
“You’re serious about this aren’t you?’ Blossomfall asked her.
“Yes, I am. I just don’t think the other clans take us seriously enough, and part of the reason why is because we don’t ever do anything,” Ivypaw found it easier to lie once she had a foundation to build off, though she secretly hoped Blossomfall would shoot her down.
“Meet me by the dirt place tunnel. I’ll go and fetch Spiderleg and Berrynose,” Blossomfall was eager and anxious, probably because she knew how wrong what they were doing was. If only she knew I lied about the entire thing. I bet she wouldn’t be so eager to help me then. While it bothered Ivypaw how quickly one lie had turned into several, she pushed those feelings aside; she had to focus on accomplishing her task at hand. After all, it was ok for her to lie, because it was for a good cause. She was lying to give her clan a chance at survival, and there was no nobler cause. She watched as Blossomfall headed over to Berrynose and then Spiderleg and managed to slip out of the dirtplace tunnel without being seen. She waited patiently for Blossomfall, never once thinking that things wouldn’t work out.
“Ivypaw!” Blossomfall’s sharp call signaled her arrival, and she was delighted to see Spiderleg and Berrynose accompanying her.
“I’m right here, Blossomfall,” Ivypaw meowed, stepping out into the open. “Can we head into the forest? I don’t think we can hang around here too much longer without being noticed.”
“So she’s smarter than she looks,” Spiderleg commented, flicking his black ear. “Lead the way, apprentice.” Ivypaw rolled her eyes and lead them through a patch of brambles, heading towards the WindClan border. She didn’t want to risk running into Firestar while they were discussing this. When they came to a somewhat secluded clearing, she began.
“So everyone here understands what we’re going to do, right? It’s time for action, but we won’t do anything too risky. I think we should go and mark the border after Firestar and his patrol returns,” Ivypaw explained briefly. She wasn’t sure how a bunch of warriors would respond to being ordered around by an apprentice, so she thought it best to keep things short and concise.
“And what makes you think we’ll get away with something like that?” Spiderleg questioned, a smug look in his amber eyes. Ivypaw remembered all the reasons she didn’t like this tom; he had always come across as rude and a little pretentious, but a lot of cats seemed to like him. As long as he listens to me, it doesn’t matter if I like him.
“Have you got something better planned?” Ivypaw asked. “Or were you just going to sulk around camp until Firestar sent you to go catch a few mice? Spiderleg, I used to think ThunderClan warriors were proud and strong, and stood up for what they believed in. I once heard stories of Firestar going behind Bluestar’s back when he was her deputy. We’re just going to give him that extra push to do what he’s putting off doing.”
“Well I’m in,” Berrynose declared. “And so is Blossomfall.”
“Don’t speak for me!” the tortoiseshell she cat meowed indignantly, moving away from Berrynose. “I can talk.”
“But you are, aren’t you?” Berrynose pointed out. “What’s it matter who says it?” were these cats serious? Ivypaw felt like she was working with petty kits, not fully trained warriors. She thought about what Hawkfrost had said, about Firestar being weak. It was hard not to believe him, when these were the cats he presented as his warriors.
“Either way, if you don’t plan on helping, then go back to your nest and keep your jaws shut,” Ivypaw butted in, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “I would like to get this done now.”
“Then I’m leading the patrol,” Spiderleg declared. Ivypaw began to protest, then decided not to. She would let him have his moment, if it meant she had his cooperation.
“Why do you get to lead the patrol? This was Ivypaw’s idea, and a second ago you didn’t even want to come,” Berrynose protested, stepping to the long-legged warrior.
“Berrynose, it’s fine. It makes sense for him to lead the patrol because he’s been a warrior longer than all of us. An apprentice leading around three warriors is bound to raise a few questions,” Ivypaw pointed out. When no cat offered anymore objections, she continued. “If there’s nothing else, then let’s go."...
“So you fox hearts couldn’t wait to mark your new border,” that snarl came from Tigerheart, who stood a few tail lengths away, his shoulders bristling and his tail tearing through the air. Ivypaw could feel the heat of his anger just as clearly as she could see the muscles beneath his pelt, and she realized he reminded her, somewhat, of Tigerstar. “That’s so like a coward like Firestar, and his clan of cowards,” Oakfur, who though smaller than Tigerheart, was just as angry, snapped at them. She knew there was one more cat; and a heartbeat later, Crowfrost joined them, the black and white warrior immediately understanding what was happening. “What kind of a cat gives away a piece of territory, then has the nerve to walk into our camp, our camp, and declare that he’s taking it back, and assume he wouldn’t have to fight for it?”
“A kittypet,” Crowfost sneered. “And that’s all any of you are anyway, a bunch of kittypets playing pretend.”
“Then all of you must be lower than kittypets, since you’re too afraid to cross our border,” Berrynose challenged, stepping to the front of their group. They were just about to leave after marking the border when Tigerheart’s patrol showed up. She had recognized him almost immediately, though she wasn’t quite sure why.
“You know, you’re right about that, Berrynose. I seem to recall ShadowClan’s finest being terrorized by two kittypets and ThunderClan having to step in and sort it out for them,” Spiderleg taunted. “I guess some things never change. This is our land now, whether or not the border was marked today or next moon. Get used to it or be prepared to fight.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to fight warriors like us,” Tigerheart threatened, unsheathing his claws and bearing his fangs. “I’ll rip each of you in half, two by two.” Something in Ivypaw compelled her to meet the dark tabby’s challenge; she knew it was what Hawkfrost would expect.
“I think we do, Tigerpaw,” Ivypaw told him, stalking right up to the border. “If you think you can just threaten us and walk away with your muzzle, you must be dumber than you look. Don’t confuse us with other ThunderClan warriors, who will let you go so easily.” She glared into his eyes, daring him to attack. For a heartbeat, no cat moved, and she was itching to show off how skilled in battle she was. She hadn’t had a chance, not in a real battle anyways, and these ShadowClan cats were asking for it. Then, Tigerheart let out a snarl and launched himself at Ivypaw.
Quick as a flash she leapt into the air, twisting her body so that she could slam her hind legs into his haunches while slashing at his flank. He hit the ground in frustration and surprise; he had underestimated her because of her size and age, as she anticipated. But he was fast, and was back on his paws in a heartbeat. She charged past him and thrust herself at Oakfur, biting into his shoulder. He let out a hiss and began thrashing about wildly, and eventually shook her off before pouncing on her.
“You’re crowfood now, kit. You may have gotten lucky, but not again,” Oakfur snarled as he loomed over Ivypaw. Though the brown warrior looked menacing enough, she wasn’t worried; Hawkfrost was stronger, bigger, and more skilled, and she fought him almost every night. She glanced over to see Blossomfall grappling with Crowfrost, though it was clear he had the advantage. Tigerheart was clearly more skilled than she had imagined; he was holding his own against Berrynose and Spiderleg and doing so with ease.
“Let’s wrap this up,” Ivypaw shouted, slamming her hind paws into Oakfur’s belly. She felt him set fire to her shoulder with his fangs in response, so she began to writhe beneath him, all the while clawing at his throat. For a heartbeat, it seemed as if he wouldn’t let go, but when his blood began to shower down on her white muzzle he was forced to retreat, spitting hatred at her. As soon as she was free, she raced to Blossomfall’s aid, who had only just been keeping up with Crowfrost.
“Come to help-“ Ivypaw didn’t let him finish; she grabbed his foreleg in her jaws as she passed, violently wrenching her head back and pulling him to the ground in the process. He let out a gasp and Blossomfall was all over him, biting and clawing the warrior while she had the chance. He threw her off but Ivypaw was ready for him; she knew better than to let her enemy regain their composure. She leapt over top him and landed behind him, swiveling her body so she could slam both her hind legs into his. His leg buckled before collapsing, and he was, again, on the ground.
“Foxdung!” Ivypaw heard Tigerheart’s outrage at his fallen clanmate. “Let’s go, Crowfrost!” he ordered. Rushing to Crowfrost’s side, he half pushed half dragged the black and white tom away from the battle. “ThunderClan are nothing but a band of fox hearted rouges, and you will regret this day!” he snarled. Ivypaw spat at him, proud of their victory. Not only had they marked the border, but they defeated a patrol of ShadowClan cats! This would send the message she needed.
“Ha! We showed them!” Berrynose gloated, padding to Ivypaw’s side. He had a few clumps of fur missing and was bleeding from his cheek.
“I think you mean Ivypaw showed them. You two could barely handle one warrior!’ Blossomfall teased.
“Well if Spiderleg wasn’t such a-”
“Wasn’t such a what, Berrynose?” Spiderleg meowed, the warning in his voice clear. “Anyways, we should probably get out of here before they come back with reinforcements.” He was right, of course, but Ivypaw felt as if she could defeat a hundred ShadowClan warriors in one swoop. Was this how cats like Hawkfrost and Tigerstar felt? If so, I never want this feeling to end. Chapter 7: Two Truths And A Lie“Hawkfrost!” Ivypaw’s overzealous mew could be heard throughout the Dark Forest as she raced to her mentor’s side. “Did you see what I did? I got them to mark the border, and then we fought and beat those ShadowClan warriors! I bet they won’t even try to fight tomorrow!”
“You won’t be fighting tomorrow,” Hawkfrost pointed out, his mew icily calm.
“Well, no. Firestar said that none of us could,” Ivypaw admitted, somewhat remorseful. “But it was worth it. Now that we’ve made the first move, there’s no backing out for Firestar.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing you won’t be fighting. That means no cat will notice how tired you will be,” Hawkfrost told her.
“Tired? From what?” Ivypaw asked, only slightly concerned. She felt she had done more than enough to impress him, but it was always hard to tell.
“I’ve got something planned for us tonight,” Hawkfrost told her. “Don’t sound so worried, Ivypaw. It won’t get you into any trouble.” She wasn’t exactly sure how much she trusted Hawkfrost anymore; though she still wanted to impress him, and loved having his approval, she was beginning to wonder how much he was committed to her, and what the truth behind the life he had lived was.
“Then let’s get started,” Ivypaw meowed, unsheathing her claws.
“That won’t be necessary,” Hawkfrost told her, smirking. “Battle training isn’t all there is to being a warrior. I want to take you somewhere, somewhere you want to go.”
“And where is that?” Ivypaw asked, curiosity blossoming in her blue eyes. Was this his way of trying to win her over?
“To RiverClan,” Hawkfrost meowed, flicking her ear with his tail. “So that you can see where I came from.” He turned and began walking out of the clearing, into the darker forest with its barren trees and black sludge streams. She, reluctantly, followed him. She had become accustomed to the smells and sounds of his home, and knew that wherever they were, it wasn’t StarClan. She didn’t much like it and couldn’t imagine that he did. None of the cats here were anything close to friendly, or helpful; and though she had only met a few, she could see the hatred that glowed in their eyes, hatred that probably fueled them to continue on here, in this miserable place.
“How come you’ve never really talked about yourself?” Ivypaw asked, quickening her pace so that she was at his side, where she felt most comfortable.
“What do you mean? You know me better than any other cat,” Hawkfrost asked, confused. “At least, I’d like to think you cared enough to pay attention to the things I’ve shared with you.” Ivypaw felt as if she had again let him down by questioning him; she had only meant to try and get him to open up more. After all, he did spend copious amounts of time with her, and they talked a lot, so maybe she had missed some of the things he told her.
“Well, I know you,” Ivypaw explained, “As you are now. But I don’t know all that much about who you were, before.”
“You mean you’ve never tried to find out on your own?” Hawkfrost asked, leaping over a fallen tree with ease. She had to scramble over and was pleased to see he waited for her.
“No, I haven’t. I mean, I know a few things, but I only know them by accident. I would never try to snoop into your life if you didn’t want to tell me,” Ivypaw meowed, trying to make her sincerity clear.
“Like what?” Hawkfrost asked her. They came upon a stream, and he stopped.
“Well, I know that Brambleclaw is your brother, and Mothwing is your sister,” Ivypaw admitted, her head down. “But he told me Hawkfrost, after you came to visit me when I was down by the lake.”
“It’s okay if you know things about me, Ivypaw. I knew a lot about you before we ever spoke,” Hawkfrost told her, resting his tail on her shoulders. She saw something akin to kindness in his pale blue eyes, and it warmed her to the core. “Brambleclaw is my brother, by blood, as well as Mothwing and Tawnypelt. Though Brambleclaw and Mothwing are both traitors and liars. Brambleclaw, though he may have led the rest of the world to believe otherwise, killed me in a fight by the lake, even though I was there upon his request to help him achieve his ambitions.”
“Brambleclaw? But he- he would never-”
“How well do you really know your deputy, Ivypaw? If he was such a noble cat, he would have never felt the need to lie about how I died,” Hawkfrost told her. “He told everyone that I was there to kill Firestar, and that I died, I died, because of a piece of wood. But he conveniently left out that he was the cat to shove it in my throat. He wanted to be deputy; I helped make it happen. He felt that Firestar didn’t trust him, and would eventually replace him, and I was going to see to it that no one would ever do such a thing. He was, after all, my brother. But I made one fatal mistake, and that was to trust him. He had his own plans and put on quite a show when he stumbled upon me and Firestar. He used me to make sure that Firestar knew he was loyal to him and him alone.” Ivypaw wasn’t sure how much of his story to believe, but it was his story; which made it so hard not to. He wouldn’t lie to her; after all, he admitted to her willingly that he tried to kill Firestar, and that he helped make Brambleclaw deputy. Yet she didn’t really see Brambleclaw as the plotting type.
“Thank you for telling me,” Ivypaw meowed carefully.
“But you don’t believe me,” Hawkfrost guessed, his eyes softening. Was it always this easy for him to read her? Or was she not as good at hiding her emotions as she thought?
“Not completely. It’s just hard for me to see Brambleclaw as the cat you make him out to be, and to see you as the cat that it makes you appear to be,” Ivypaw admitted, her tail slipping between her legs. This was more honesty than she was used to when it came to Hawkfrost; really, when it came to anyone.
“And what sort of cat does that make me out to be?” Hawkfrost asked, slipping into the murky stream. She, reluctantly, followed him. “If you’re going to go to RiverClan, you’ll have to be able to somewhat swim, Ivypaw. I’ve shown you how.”
“Well for starters, a victim. And a murder,” Ivypaw told him, churning the slimly water. Luckily, it wasn’t deep, and it only reached her chest so that her muzzle stayed dry. She hated getting her muzzle wet. “You can’t really be both. And it also seems like you’re weak, and I know for a fact you are the strongest cat I know.”
“Even the strongest cats do dumb things for those that they care about,” Hawkfrost told her. “I thought I could trust him and I thought he and I were a team. If I hadn’t, I would have never tried to help him. To me, when you care about someone, you’d do anything for them, if you thought it would help.” She didn’t want to ask what would be the natural progression of this conversation; would he do anything for me?
“Did you feel that?” Ivypaw asked, confused. It felt like she had just pressed her way through a thicket of brambles, and she knew that wasn’t true. Yet when she looked around, she immediately knew they weren’t in his home; she could taste the freshness of the air, and smell prey, and hear the lake lapping lazily against the grey pebble shores. They were in her world; but how? She didn’t recognize this part of the land, and realized it had to be RiverClan; she recognized the strong scent of fish.
“Only barely. Though I’m surprised you did,” Hawkfrost commented, looking back at her. “It was the barrier between our world and this one, at least one of them.” What did he mean, our world? She belonged to the world of the living, however much she felt like she didn’t fit in. She wanted to be with Hawkfrost all the time, but not at the cost of her life.
“Barrier?” she asked, confused. They were still in the stream, only this was fresh water, and she could see an island up ahead.
“It would take too long to explain it fully to you, so I’ll give you the short version. Basically, think of the barrier between the world of the living and the world of the dead like the borders between two clans. You can’t see those borders, and you can’t feel them, but you can scent them. The barrier we crossed is one that a living cat can’t see, but a dead cat can. We feel it when we cross through the barrier, because it is the living world rejecting what shouldn’t be. It’s what happened when I appeared to you by the lake, which meant any cat could see me. I was more than just a spirit or a dream, like when I visited you in your camp, when only you could see me. Crossing the barrier brings you into the living world, as a temporary member,” Hawkfrost’s explanation raised a thousand more questions than it could ever answer.
“But I’m already alive,” Ivypaw pointed out. “So how….”
“That’s a bit harder to explain, and even I don’t fully understand it. When you came to me, it was in a dream. But our world, the one you come to, is more than just a dream, and I think you know that by now. It’s a pseudo-reality. But when a living cat is allowed to cross the barrier, which only happens when they are accompanied by a dead one, their physical body is transferred to wherever the barrier takes them. So, should we go to your camp, you wouldn’t see yourself sleeping in your nest. In a nutshell, this isn’t a dream, Ivypaw; this is reality.”
Chapter 8: Consequences “Does that mean….” Ivypaw trailed off, not sure what to ask him.
“That if we get caught, we’ll have a lot of explaining to do,” Hawkfrost warned her. “Of course, we could always just kill any cat we came across, though it might not happen as quietly as needed.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about taking the life of another cat; she felt that the life of another cat wasn’t something you could just throw away because you didn’t like them, or they stood in your way. But, perhaps Hawkfrost, being dead, knew better than she.
“Why don’t we try not to kill any RiverClan warriors?” Ivypaw suggested. “It probably won’t work out in our favor.”
“Are you afraid of killing another cat?” Hawkfrost asked, rounding on her. They had moved closer to the island she presumed to be the RiverClan camp, and though his voice was low, the accusation was loud and clear.
“Not afraid, I’m just, not really….” She wasn’t sure how she could explain herself to a cat who had just revealed himself to be a proud killer. She was beginning to see a darker side to her situation, and it didn’t feel comfortable. His eyes looked different; she could tell he was planning something, but she wasn’t sure what. “Why don’t we see our camp?”
“Our? You’re a ThunderClan cat,” the way he said it was almost an insult to Ivypaw, but she let it go.
“I remember you once saying that we were clanmates. So if this is your camp, and these are your clan members, that makes them mine too,” Ivypaw explained.
“Ivypaw, these cats haven’t been my clanmates for seasons,” Hawkfrost meowed. “I brought you here because I thought you’d be interested in seeing a part of my history, and it would be a good opportunity to practice your ability to hide amongst enemies.” Does he have to make everything about training? I’d like to spend a little time just being…
“Then let’s go in, Hawkfrost. I’m sure these cats are dying to see you again.”
...
This was always the hardest part for Hawkfrost; going back. Of all the things he regretted in his life, almost all of them lived in RiverClan. Despite the promises he had made to his father, and the confident face he showed, he had, more than anything else, wanted to be leader of this clan; and prove to every cat how strong and great he was. He just had always known that it would never happen unless he was willing to do whatever it took to get there. He saw only opportunities for him to achieve his goal; that was why he made Mothwing medicine cat and was happy to take over for Mistyfoot. It wasn’t until he met Tigerstar that things began to take a turn for the worse.
“There are, at all times, two sentries on night watch in the RiverClan camp,” Hawkfrost hissed into Ivypaw’s ear.
“So how do we get past them?” Ivypaw murmured.
“We’re not going through the main entrance. We will sneak in-“
“Did you hear something?” Hawkfrost could hear the alerted mew of whoever was on guard; had they been spotted? No cat could ever sniff him out; it must be because Ivypaw was with him. Now, he’d have to protect her, or she would have to explain why she was lurking outside the RiverClan camp. He shoved her nose to the ground with his paw and pressed his muzzle to her ear.
“Don’t move, don’t make a sound,” he muttered through clenched teeth. He could tell by the fear in her eyes that she understood; if they were caught now, it would all be over. Everything.
“Do you want to check it out?” This cat, clearly his companion, seemed remarkably less interested. He was probably used to keeping watch, and knew better than to get excited over every sound the night may produce. Probably a senior warrior. Which means he’s in charge, and we’ve got nothing to worry about.
“Well yeah. What if it’s a ShadowClan invasion?” The younger tom asked, worried.
“Then I hope you’re strong enough to fight them all off,” the sarcasm was strong in this cats’ somewhat lofty mew, confirming what Hawkfrost had suspected about him. They were quiet for a while, but Hawkfrost refused to move; he knew at least one of them were listening for some sign of movement.
“When I say, we’re going to back away slowly,” Hawkfrost murmered slowly. “I want you to head for the stream, and then for the lake. Hopefully, you’ve practiced your swimming. I’ll draw their attention away, and then meet you by the horseplace. Got it?” Ivypaw nodded her head, her blue eyes bright and her whiskers shaking. It never ceased to amaze Hawkfrost how much she trusted him in such a short period of time, but then, that was why he had chosen her. He knew that he could get to her, and he knew that she would grow dependent on him. It was just interesting to see it happening, when she could end up in more trouble than he could ever get her out of.
“I’ll be right back,” This cat was unnaturally persistent, much to Hawkfrost’s distaste, completely ruining his plans. They would have to fight and run and do so before he could raise the alarm.
“I’ll wait here for him. You go around and get him from behind. He won’t notice you, because you still hold some RiverClan scent,” Ivypaw told him. Hawkfrost was, at first, going to object, but decided not to; her plan made sense, even though she had no right to boss him around. I guess she’s growing into her own, slowly but surely. I’ll have to fix that, later. Hawkfrost slipped away from her, just as he saw a light brown tom leave the camp entrance. Hawkfrost was careful to keep to the shadows; rather, he was used to it. He had, for so many seasons, lived entirely in the shadows, to the point where sunlight was nothing but a distant memory that had caused him constant pain and regret, which fueled a hatred in him hotter than a thousand suns. Something that this particular bright eyed RiverClan tom was forcing him to deal with. He watched him bend his neck to the ground and draw in all the scents surrounding him; Hawkfrost chose to make his scent known. The tom looked up in confusion, though he was a moment too late. Hawkfrost lunged at him bursting from the undergrowth, fangs bared, and slammed him to the ground before tearing into his neck so that he couldn’t speak, couldn’t call for help. This warrior began to twitch violently beneath him, the light from his eyes quickly fading. Hawkfrost gave him one final shake, before tossing him aside. He looked to Ivypaw, who, for once, held a face as plain as stone. Her eyes only served to reflect the moon light; no longer windows to her thoughts. Hmmp. She must have been learning more from me than I thought. I wonder how she’ll react when it’s her turn to do the killing.
Chapter 9: Reflections
Ivypaw lay in her nest, her ears trained for the sounds of paw steps. She didn’t want to reflect on the night past, not now, when her clan was out fighting for land that always belonged to them. She was alone; not really. She could name every single cat in camp, but they didn’t amount to much. Did that mean the same for the cat Hawkfrost killed? That it was okay, because he didn’t have a name? Cats die all the time. It’s the life of a warrior. Some of my clanmates may not return from this battle. But she knew what Hawkfrost did was different. He killed him in cold blood, not in battle. But she had known that he was a killer; so why was she so surprised? There was an aching in her chest that made her uncomfortable as she relived what she had been a part of. She had stood there, no, orchestrated, the execution of a RiverClan warrior, who had only wanted to protect his clan. He hadn’t known what he was walking into and because of that, he died. They had fled the scene immediately after, before his companion would notice he’d been gone too long; would smell the blood and raise the alarm. Had I known what I was getting myself into? When I met Hawkfrost, everything was so innocent, and fun. But now…… I’ve changed so many things, in just a few sunrises.
“Ivypaw?” Blossomfall called, peering her head into the apprentice’s den. Of all the cats in camp, she felt closest to Blossomfall; that, however, didn’t mean much.
“I’m right here, Blossomfall. No more plans to sneak out,” Ivypaw meowed, sitting up and tucking her paws under her chest.
“I didn’t expect you would,” Blossomfall flicked her ear as she entered, a sort of tainted happiness tucked into her eyes. “I wish we had been able to fight too. But, we got ‘em good yesterday. There’s no way we can lose today.”
“Well, with Firestar, you never know,” Ivypaw said that more to herself than to Blossomfall, who had no idea how much of this Ivypaw was held accountable for.
“Well you helped, a lot, Ivypaw. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did, especially since you’re just an apprentice,” Blossomfall told her.
“Thanks. You weren’t too shabby yourself,” Ivypaw meowed, looking up at Blossomfall.
“Are you kidding me? I could barely handle that one warrior. You were like a whole battle patrol by itself. What has Cinderheart been teaching you?” Blossomfall asked, curiosity intertwined in her praise. Ivypaw paused; should she tell the truth? She had thought about it, once before; but that was to a cat who only cared about her own secrets. Blossomfall was different; Blossomfall was like her.
“Cinderheart is cool, but she’s not as good of a mentor as some may think,” Ivypaw began. “If you want, I’ll show you a few moves.”
“That sounds great, but not now. My shoulder’s still sore,” Blossomfall told her. “Maybe some cat will get Crowfrost back for me.”
“Of course they will. Why don’t you go see Jayfeather, though? He’ll probably give you something for it.”
“Ok. See ya later, Ivypaw. And do me a favor; don’t spend the entire day sulking around here,” Blossomfall joked, padding out of the den.
“Are you going to hang back there the entire time, Hawkfrost?” Ivypaw meowed, a bit agitated. She had hoped for some space from him, but it wasn’t to come.
“Ivypaw, this isn’t Hawkfrost,” Ivypaw got to her paws as she immediately recognized the rough mew of Tigerstar. What could he want?
“Tigerstar,” Ivypaw meowed evenly, turning to face the shadowy figure. He was definitely here as a spirit.
“I came to congratulate our newest apprentice on her first mission,” something in Tigerstar’s words reminded her of Hawkfrost; the false sincerity, the poison mixed with honey. “Not only did you deliver the dream, you forced Firestar to fight for what he believes in. I had, up until now, thought Firestar had long since reverted back to his kittypet ways, but there may be some fight left in that particular fool.”
“So you think he isn’t fit to lead ThunderClan too?” Ivypaw concluded. “Hawkfrost says the same thing.”
“This is your clan, Ivypaw. What do you think?” Tigerstar asked. She knew this was some sort of test; he didn’t really care what she thought. That much was clear, even to her.
“I think Firestar has lost what used to make him a great leader,” Ivypaw meowed evenly. “His day has long since past.”
“The naivety of the young never ceases to amaze me,” Tigerstar meowed, chuckling. “It’s no secret who I am; yet you’d stand before me, and tell me that Firestar was ever a great leader?”
“You asked me what I think; if he was never great, he wouldn’t be leader now,” Ivypaw pointed out. Tigerstar was silent for a while, making Ivypaw feel the need for the companionship of Hawkfrost.
“You have potential, Ivypaw. Your time will come, soon,” Tigerstar meowed, before fading into the shadows. Ivypaw let out a gasp of relief; she had received something like a confirmation from Tigerstar. She wasn’t sure if it was what she wanted, but it helped relax her.
...
“Ivypaw!” Ivypaw looked up from where she stood, sniffing around the new ThunderClan border. She hadn’t been able to stay away, and once every cat had returned home with a haunted look in their eyes, she had to investigate. She was told that Russetfur, the ShadowClan deputy, had died; and though it didn’t really bother her, she wanted to see what she had fought so hard to achieve. So she slipped out of camp in the night, making sure no one saw.
“Who’s there?” Ivypaw hissed, glaring around her. She would rip the head off of any cat who dared to sneak up on her. She immediately prepared for battle as Tigerheart slipped out of the undergrowth; the ThunderClan undergrowth. If he wanted a rematch, he would get it; and it’d be his last.
“I guess some cats never learn their lesson,” Ivypaw snarled, preparing to pounce.
“No Ivypaw, relax. We’re allies,” Tigerheart meowed, attempting to calm her.
“What do you mean?” Ivypaw asked. She wouldn’t let her guard down, incase this were a trick.
“You train with Thistleclaw, don’t you?” Tigerheart guessed.
“Who?” Ivypaw asked, confused. Then she thought for a moment; she had heard the name before, in the Dark Forest. Did that mean… “They’re training you too?”
“Don’t sound so surprised, Ivypaw. It’s a little offensive,” Tigerheart joked. “But yes they are. Well, Tigerstar is.”
“I train with Hawkfrost,” Ivypaw told him. Oddly, she had never expected to talk about this in such an unconventional manner, especially with a cat from an enemy clan. “Why don’t we find somewhere else to talk?”
“There’s an old twoleg nest a little ways from here,” Tigerheart offered. “We can go there.”
“Lead the way, Tigerpaw,” Ivypaw teased.
“You know, I still have to get you back for that one,” Tigerheart meowed, setting off up the boarder. “And that scratch you gave me. You’re pretty good.”
“So I’ve been told,” Ivypaw meowed, walking beside him. She was enjoying a night out of camp that didn’t involve Hawkfrost, though she couldn’t quite get him out of her mind. “You weren’t so bad yourself. You sure gave Berrynose and Spiderleg a pawful.”
“They were amateurs, though I expected more from Spiderleg,” Tigerheart conceded. “After all, he’s been a warrior longer than me. But I guess living so easily makes you lax.”
“ThunderClan cats don’t live easily,” Ivypaw retorted, sticking up for her clan mates. “You would know that if you knew anything about us.”
“I actually know a bit about ThunderClan,” Tigerheart countered. “I lived there, when I was an apprentice.”
“No you didn’t,” Ivypaw told him, skeptical. “I mean I know you’re part ThunderClan, because of Tawnypelt, but I think I would know if you lived in my clan.”
“If you know my mother’s history, then you must care a lot about me,” Tigerheart teased, gently brushing against her flank. “But I did live in ThunderClan. Brackenfur was my mentor. It happened, back when Blackstar followed Sol. Tawnypelt refused to stay in a clan that didn’t believe in StarClan and took us and left.”
“Then why didn’t you stay?” Ivypaw asked. “And how could a clan not believe in StarClan?”
“Well, I helped in getting us back,” Tigerheart admitted. “But it was Jayfeather’s idea. There was a cat- Sol. He came to the clans, after the Eclipse. I don’t know how, but he convinced Blackstar that StarClan didn’t have any power, and that they were just dead cats. We- we faked a sign from StarClan.” Ivypaw hesitated. She had done the same thing; only, with a slightly different outcome. While Tigerheart had been trying to save his clan, her actions caused the death of his deputy.
“And he believed you?” Ivypaw ventured, ever cautious.
“Yes, but not completely at first. Then two real StarClan cats showed up. It was amazing,” Tigerheart reminisced, his voice ever wistful. What had she done? No StarClan cats had shown up to back up her faked sign; that could only mean one thing; Tigerstar had used her. Or, rather, she had used Firestar, and every cat in ThunderClan. Because if any of them found out what she did, they wouldn’t blame Tigerstar.
“It must be pretty cool to know you helped save your clan,” Ivypaw told him. “That makes you a hero.”
“I don’t know about all that,” Tigerheart meowed, slightly darker than before. They came to a stop in front of an old run down twoleg place. It wasn’t much too look at, but it would do, at least for the night.
“Why not?” “Ivypaw asked.
“Because look at us, Ivypaw. We spend every night in the Dark Forest,” Tigerheart pointed out. She was surprised and refreshed by his pain and honesty, and above all, his courage to say what she had been feeling; that the place with no sun light was an evil place, and they were only seeking to cause harm. “At first, I didn’t realize it. You probably didn’t either. I thought I was just training to be a good warrior. But you can feel it, every time you go there; the stench of hatred and death. A place like that can only produce negativity and destruction.”
“Well we’re not there now,” Ivypaw meowed, looking down at her paws, then into his amber eyes. “Why don’t we enjoy our night off?”
Chapter 10: Indifference
“Where is Hawkfrost?” Ivypaw asked casually, glancing around the rank clearing. “I only ask because I’ve been here for more than 5 heartbeats and he hasn’t screamed at me yet.” “Hawkfrost is previously engaged tonight,” Thistleclaw told her, stalking back and forth in front of her. “You will be training with me.”
“That’s fine with me,” Ivypaw meowed, flicking her ear as a dead leaf fell on it. Everything here was dead; even her, a small bit of her. Ever since her run in with Tigerheart half a moon ago, she had spent more time training with other apprentices and less alone with Hawkfrost. She heard paw steps thundering across the brittle grass, and recognized the scent of Antpelt, the WindClan warrior who was, regrettably, a continuing sparring partner for her. She had known instantly that he wasn’t cut out to be a warrior here, though it didn’t matter if that was a good thing or not; he was here, and would be, forever more. She had wanted to train with Minnowtail, the RiverClan she cat who carried herself as if she were the leader of every clan around the lake, and with the energetic Tigerheart. Clearly, she would have no such luck, as Thistleclaw began.
“Tonight the two of you will attempt to show me that you have actually been grasping the things you learn here,” Thistleclaw snorted, rolling his eyes. She had always known that he thought himself better than all the living cats that visited here, and most of the dead ones too. She didn’t know much about his past, other than he was a ThunderClan cat, and could only imagine how closely it mirrored Hawkfrost’s. “See that pile of logs over there? Your goal is to get to the top. To do so, you have to get past me. The only thing is, there’s only one winner in this task, so you two will be competing against each other. Any questions?”
“What happens if we lose?” Antpelt asked, looking a bit disenchanted.
“Don’t,” Thistleclaw grunted, stalking over to stand between them and the pile of corroding logs. He was a ways away from them, meaning she would have to first drive him closer before trying to defeat him. She looked over at Antpelt, who was clearly strategizing too. She thought to share her plans, but then realized it would only hurt her in the end; while they shared a common goal for now, only one of them could emerge victorious, meaning he was her ally as well as her rival. It might be easier to let him act first and use him as a diversion, Ivypaw decided. As if she had ordered him too, Antpelt charged at Thistleclaw head on, as if he stood a chance of taking him down. Antpelt was fast, but in a battle of brute force, Thistleclaw had him beat by a long shot. Clearly, Antpelt didn’t agree as he barreled into Thistleclaw, who rolled with the force of the blow, tossing Antpelt off him effortlessly. Before Antpelt could get to his paws, Thistleclaw attacked, pouncing on him and scoring his claws down his flank. Ivypaw saw this as her moment and raced past them, skirting the two. But she had ventured too close; Thistleclaw snagged her by her tail, throwing her off balance and eliciting a yelp from her. She rounded on him as she stumbled, swiping a paw at his chest and one at his muzzle. She was too unsteady; her usually intricate paw work only served to graze his chest and tickle his whiskers. He laughed at her, before swatting her down with a well-aimed blow to her muzzle. She was back on her paws in an instant, but to her surprise Antpelt was her opponent; snarling at her and lashing his tail.
Apparently he caught on, and realized defeating Thistleclaw was only half the battle. That was fine with her, so long as he didn’t hold her up. She let the agile WindClan warrior come at her, his fangs barred, and slipped underneath him, tearing into his foreleg and shaking him to the ground. She battered his side with her hind legs, making him roll over in pain, attempting to escape. At that point, she pulled away, allowing him the chance to get to his brown paws. He looked completely frustrated, due to his uncanny ability to always underestimate her abilities despite the number of times they’d trained together over the past half moon.
“Since when do we allow our opponents a chance to attack us?” Thistleclaw snarled, racing past her and pouncing on Antpelt. He held him down, his muzzle shoved into the brittle grass, his tail flailing back and forth. “Get over here now, Ivypaw.” Reluctantly, Ivypaw rushed to Thistleclaw’s side, afraid of whatever punishment he had in store for her. “Finish him off. Don’t hesitate; don’t hold back.”
“This is a training exercise, and we’re supposed to be clanmates. What would finishing him off do for our greater cause?” Ivypaw asked evenly, looking directly at Thistleclaw. She hoped he would take her ploy; she didn’t want to take Antpelt’s life, but she would if it meant her own survival.
“Hmmp. You really expect too much of these apprentices,” that scathing remark came from a cat she knew to be Mapleshade, or at least what was left of her. Ivypaw turned to see her walking up to them, her ghostly figure about as a bulky as Tigerstar’s. “She’s too stupid to understand what real battle requires.”
“That’s why I’m teaching her,” Thistleclaw explained. “They both will learn.”
“Why don’t we get on with this, then?” Ivypaw interjected, tackling Thistleclaw. The hateful warrior rounded on her, aiming for her throat, so she dropped back and moved to Antpelt’s side, quickly helping him to his paws. She could see the grateful look in his eyes, but she refused to acknowledge it; not with two Dark Forest warriors watching. He attacked first this time, and she worked with him; both aiming to herd Thistleclaw away from the wood pile. He was clever, and quickly realized their strategy, but couldn’t quiet overcome it; she was covering all of Antpelt’s usual downfalls, like his tendency to react too slow after attacking, and he provided an extra muscle that she, being only an apprentice, couldn’t. She found herself reaching a point where she felt tired and wondered how much longer they could continue. She was about to make a more abrasive move when Antpelt, in an attempt to knock Thistleclaw off his paws with a move he should have mastered, tripped over his paws and clumsily fell on his side, exposing his belly. She attempted to react, but Thistleclaw was faster, and too ferocious; he immediately began slicing into Antpelt’s side, ripping open his belly as if he were nothing more than a few fallen leaves. She hesitated, again, before remembering; this was a challenge. One she had to win. If Thistleclaw didn’t beat Antpelt, she would have had to, so she raced away from them, bounding up the corroding pile of logs, her soft pads picking up a few splinters. She wondered briefly, if Antpelt would hold this against her; then realized there was no way he couldn’t. O well. You’re either strong enough to survive, or weak enough to be used.
“Looks like you have a winner, Thistleclaw,” Mapleshade announced from where she stood by the stream. “Shouldn’t have gotten so preoccupied.”
“Ha! She won nothing,” Thistleclaw spat, stalking away from Antpelt and towards the base of the logs. “Come down here and beat me, then you can call yourself a winner.”
“Why? You said all I had to do to win is be the first to reach the top of the logs,” Ivypaw called down to him. Part of her felt superior to him, especially with Mapleshade here. “That’s what I did. You can’t change the rules just because you don’t like the outcome.”
“If you think-“
“Let it go, Thistleclaw. She’s right; she won. Don’t be such a sore badger about it,” Mapleshade told him, cutting him off as she staggered up to him. Feeling a bit more safe, Ivypaw ventured down, making sure not to look past Mapleshade or Thistleclaw to Antpelt. She stopped when she stood in front of them, expecting something; all she got was a snort from Thistleclaw, before he stormed off, and she was left with Mapleshade. “You’ve done good, Ivypaw. You’ll stand with me, when the time comes.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Ivypaw responded, dipping her head in respect. She didn’t know who this she cat was, but clearly she was important enough to boss Thistleclaw around. She too left, her shadowy figure fading in and out. Curious, she padded to Antpelt’s side. She had ignored the agony the warrior must have been experiencing, only because she hadn’t bore witness to his full assault; now she was glad she hadn’t. Thistleclaw had tried his best to destroy the WindClan warrior; clumps of fur was missing from his side, and in its place were trenches of blood across his flank and back, and several bite marks. This was truly a place of eternal destruction.
“Antpelt, what did they do to you? It’s a shame for you to die in a place like this,” She whispered, leaning in closer to his ear. He was barely breathing, and his eyes flitted half way open when she spoke. She didn’t feel the need to look in them. “Go home, Antpelt. Die in a place made for the living, not the dead.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:31:29 GMT -5
Chapter 11: Waking Up Alone“From this moment on, you will no longer be known as Ivypaw. Your warrior name will be Ivypool.” Ivypool could hear Firestar’s words in her ear from early that morning. She had an excellent morning and Tigerheart had watched from just outside of camp. They talked the night before and she told him of her impending assessment. He told her that she was more of a warrior than any cat in ThunderClan, and she, of course, complacently agreed. His attendance didn’t erase the lack of a certain mentor of hers, who had made it a point to ignore her once she started to spend more time training with Tigerheart. She didn’t know if it was jealousy that drove him away; couldn’t understand why. She could now see him for what he had always been; hateful. And though she had yet to recover from the many scars he left, she couldn’t shake the haunting feeling that there were many more to come. Even now, as she turned to look back at the apprentice’s den, her former den, she was reluctant to leave; expecting to see his glowing eyes floating in the air.
“Ivypool,” Her sister’s tone, the sister she had seldom spoken to in the past few moons, signified that something was wrong; Ivypool was hesitant to care. “Yes?” Ivypool asked. She no longer felt limited by her sister’s gifts because she had her own, and they made her a force to rival even Lionblaze.
“We need to talk. Now. There are some things….” Dovewing trailed off, looking down at her grey paws. “We just need to talk.”
“Fine. Let’s go for a walk, sister,” Ivypool announced, a little too loud. There weren’t many cats in camp and the few who remained showed little interest in the pair of she cats. “I’ll lead the way.” Ivypool set out of camp glad to finally be a warrior where no cat could question her actions. Dovewing followed, though she trailed behind, and even though Ivypool no longer knew her sister, she could tell something must really be weighing on her heart.
“Ivypool, would you be honest with me?” Ivypool stopped in her tracks and turned to face Dovewing, who was now staring at her as if she suddenly needed her. “If I asked you a question. Would you tell the truth?”
“Dovewing, quit beating around the bush. Whatever it is you want to talk about, spit it out,” Ivypool meowed impatiently. She was, in truth, growing vastly uncomfortable in a situation where her sister held all the power, and wanted to quickly change that.
“I know that we haven’t exactly been close for a while now- and part of that’s my fault, because I didn’t try to change it. But I need to know, Ivypool- is it my fault?” Dovewing’s eyes were shining with the tears she fought back. It was hard to watch, but Ivypool had grown accustomed to pain.
“Is what your fault?” Ivypool asked, feigning innocence.
“That you train with them. The Dark Forest. Is that because of me?” Dovewing spoke a little clearer this time, though she couldn’t meet her sister’s eyes.
“Dovewing, do you really think everything is about you?” Ivypool countered. “Just because of you and that stupid prophecy-“
“Pr-prophecy?” Dovewing asked, shocked.
“What, you thought I would never find out? I did, no thanks to you, my dear sister. You’ve been lying to me for moons and now you want to act like you care?” Ivypool snapped.
“I wanted to tell you Ivypool! That’s part of the reason why I asked you to come with me!” Dovewing exclaimed.
“Then why didn’t you? O wait, I know. Because Lionblaze said no,” Ivypool sneered.
“Neither one of them wanted me to tell you,” Dovewing argued quietly. “But once I found out you trained with those hateful cats in that awful place, once they realized it too- I knew I had to tell you; I had to try and save you.”
“It’s incredibly arrogant of you to think you could,” Ivypool meowed coldly. “Even more so to think I need saving. Some cats are just born to be bad, Dovewing. Just like some cats are born special.”
“But this isn’t you, Ivypool!” Dovewing protested, slamming her paw to the ground. “I know you! You would never- they must be forcing you to stay. To say these awful things.”
“You really are stupid, Dovewing,” Ivypool snapped, rolling her eyes. “Do you see any cat here besides us? No one is forcing me to do anything. Just accept that I am beyond your reach.” Ivypool turned and left then, stalking off towards the ShadowClan border. A part of her expected her sister to follow and was disappointed when she reached the border and was still alone.
“Haven’t I always told you, Ivypool? You are never alone,” Ivypool nearly leapt out of her fur as she whirled around, greeted by the icy mew that could, regrettably, only belong to Hawkfrost.
“Hawkfrost,” Ivypool gasped. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for my apprentice. Though it seems she’s grown a bit,” Hawkfrost commented, his eyes like a hawks’.
“I’m not an apprentice anymore,” Ivypool told him, fluffing out her chest a bit. Something about him seemed different; familiar, in that she could tell that he wanted something, but still different.
“I was at your warrior ceremony, Ivypool,” Hawkfrost told her. “You are still my apprentice. And you will be, until I say so.”
“Why did you come here, Hawkfrost?” Ivypool asked, getting a bit frustrated.
“What, am I keeping you from someone?” Hawkfrost asked, taking a few steps closer to her. He pretended to look around as if he expected some cat to pop up out of the brush. “I don’t see anyone around.”
“I can’t just want to be alone?” Ivypool countered.
“You know, you should work on your cat skills,” Hawkfrost critiqued. “No cat is going to want you as their deputy if they can’t even talk to you.”
“Well I guess I’ll have to settle for being a regular warrior,” Ivypool meowed dryly.
“That’s the problem, Ivypool: you still don’t see it. You have never been a regular warrior; that much was clear. If not to you, then to every cat around you,” Hawkfrost told her, his voice going down an octave so that it was deeper, more soothing. “You are the most extraordinary cat I have ever seen.”
“I- thanks,” Ivypool meowed clumsily, her ears growing hot as she looked to her paws for comfort. He had never been this kind to her, and it was more refreshing than a drink from the lake after moons of drought.
“Which is why I hope you understand me when I say this,” Hawkfrost meowed, this time only a heartbeat away from her. It didn’t feel the same as when she was with Tigerheart; she was, in essence, completely aware of his death. “You need to make things right with Dovewing. She’s your sister, Ivypool.”
“Hawkfrost-“
“Just do it, Ivypool. I promise, you won’t regret it,” Ivypool felt something stronger than she had ever felt from him; it was in his eyes, those icy blue eyes had, after so much time, finally found some warmth.
“She wants to fix me,” Ivypool told him, her voice quivering. “She thinks she can. She is wrong.”
“Let her. Ivypool, you don’t have to stay here,” Hawkfrost urged. He grew silent, as if he wanted to say more. “You don’t have to stay with me.” Ivypool was now at a loss for words; she had, unintentionally, approached the crossroads of her life. She could not understand what had forced this side of Hawkfrost to the surface, nor could she see what made Dovewing think now would be the time to reach out to her. At a time when she was finally finding her own path and forging her own relationships. It was as if they were in some sort of competition with each other, as if they both thought that they still had any power over her and were trying to see who could sway her the most.
“Hawkfrost, I have no desire to befriend Dovewing. That season has long since passed. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be running back to you either, Hawkfrost. I’m a full-grown warrior now; doesn’t matter who recognizes it. You’ve helped make me who I am, and for that, I thank you. But don’t think that I owe you anything for that,” Ivypool meowed, her tone serious and smuggling the slightest hint of a threat. She wanted, so much, to prove that she meant every word she spoke, because she knew he wouldn’t believe her until she did.
“Is that what you think, Ivypool? Do you really not see what I’m offering you? I’m allowing you the chance to be free!” Hawkfrost snapped, his hurt concealed in anger. “No one walks away from the Dark Forest. No one. And now, when you could, you think you can stand here and be so arrogant?”
“Freedom isn’t something you can give me. I took my freedom a long time ago, when I decided I would be who I wanted, despite what you did. You were just too caught up in your own schemes to see that,” Ivypool retorted. She began to feel something stirring around her, a darkened presence that wasn’t there before. It prickled her fur and made her want to clench her eyes shut. It was hatred, and she was thrown into it, like a fledgling to foxes.
She could see, somehow, Hawkfrost; how he was, when he lived. Had his emotions been that strong that his memories consumed her? She realized she was seeing the world from his eyes. She could see how he had been as a kit, abandoned by both his mother and father, left with his sister in a hostile environment. She watched, all the stares he received, and even then could feel the heat of his ambition. Could they feel it too? He hadn’t, at that point, possessed any of the hatred and malice that brought him to the place where he stood now; that, she assumed, came later. And then she was thrust into a different memory; darkness had fallen in the RiverClan camp, the old one. He had something on his claw; a butterfly’s wing? No, it wasn’t pretty enough; a moth’s wing. She saw him place it outside of a den, the medicine cat’s den. She could now sense the stirrings of his hatred as it blended with ambition. It was a sign; a false one, interpreted by their medicine cat to make his sister his apprentice. But then, he did something strange; he attempted to destroy her. How hateful he must have been, to tell her what he did, to take away from her the one thing that would make her a true medicine cat. What is he trying to tell me? That I’ll become just like him?
“Do you see, Ivypool, where this life leads? Look at me; you can’t even touch me right now,” Hawkfrost told her, demanding her attention as he snatched her out of his mind. “You aren’t like me. You weren’t born hateful; just jealous. It is up to you if you become the cat I’ve tried to make you. I don’t see the sun; I can’t catch prey where I dwell. I have to spend every moment wallowing in hatred simply because there is nothing left for me to do.”
“Why are you doing all this?” Ivypool asked. “Why do you suddenly care so much?”
“Because you aren’t an apprentice anymore,” Hawkfrost told her. “The things you do- they’ve lost their innocence. You aren’t naïve, you can’t cling to your mother’s side when you get frightened. You have to answer for the things you do, and I just……I don’t want to see you here, where I am. You don’t belong there.”
“Then why did you bring me here? Why did you ever seek me out? Why did you lie to me, all this time?” Ivypool was too caught up in her emotions to be surprised by their intensity; these were things she had always wondered but had written them off as him being an awful cat. But now…
“Because everything has changed, Ivypool.” Chapter 12: PainIvypool slithered out of camp on this christened starlit night, her mind set on the ShadowClan camp. It was now leafbare; the perfect season for the killing to begin. She was to deliver the first blow; rather, she had demanded it be her. She now, in its entirety, understood the mission of the Dark Forest; it was her mission. It allowed her to truly claim the darkness that surrounded her as her own, and so she was able to, better than any ShadowClan cat, manipulate the shadows in such a barren forest so that she was completely sealed. The source of her prey lay in the Medicine Cat’s den, a ginger young tom who had been marked for execution. She had in a previous meeting with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost, suggested the killing of this particular medicine cat so as to sever bonds between the clans completely.
She thought about what this might do to Tigerheart, though it didn’t matter; he was, just like everyone else, a pawn able to be sacrificed at any time. She had no intentions of telling him what would take place tonight; he would be training in the Dark Forest as was required of him. He had been wrong, immensely so, in his assumption that he was free to do as he pleased; that honor belonged to those like her who embraced the darkness in their hearts. Not that she denied the light that lived there too; she welcomed it, at times when she felt too weak to continue living on this life fate had cursed her with.
She was almost there; the ShadowClan border had been passed, the slimy forest they called home penetrated. It was ironic; now that she had found a source of enlightenment to her life she was able to truly hate an entire group of cats. She could see their make shift camp, a far cry from her own well protected stone hallow though still a cut above the bunches of grass WindClan cowered between. She hesitated for a while outside of their camp; not out of uncertainty or fear but for the simple desire to dwell in the moments before death. Then she took the plunge, when the moment was opportune. Something had caused Flametail to stir in his nest, and the hunt began. Luring him out of camp was no task; she had rolled in catmint before coming so that he would follow the scent. A cat as superstitious as he would assume it was one of his precious ancestors come to visit but too coy to do so directly. As soon as he picked up the sweet scent his ears perked up and she could see his whiskers tingle with excitement as he naively left the safety of his camp to enter the lion’s arena.
So she led him farther into the forest, making sure to stay out of his line of sight but leaving enough behind that he wouldn’t lose her trail, which he never did. She had considered leading him towards the old twoleg place, but then realized some cats may blame those kittypets who once harassed ShadowClan. Hawkfrost had suggested near the ThunderClan border, but that wouldn’t cause disease between all the clans, just suspicion on her own. She wanted any cat to be the suspect, including Flametail’s own clanmates, so she led him into the heart of his territory. Cleverly, she began to sprint placing enough distance between her and Flametail that she could double back without him noticing. She circled around, keeping to the shadows until she realized he had stopped, and was calling out to some cat.
“Hello? What are you trying to tell me? That we will never get the catmint we need?” Ivypool could hear the distress in his voice and remembered what it felt like to care about a whole clan of cats.
“I can’t see the future, Flametail,” Ivypool pointed out, gliding out of the shadows. He rounded on her, shocked and confused.
“Ivypool,” he meowed cautiously. “What are you doing here?” she took a step closer to him.
“You’re the medicine cat. Why do you keep asking me questions? Shouldn’t your precious StarClan give you all the answers you seek?” Ivypool asked. The innocence in her voice did little to mask the condescension that alerted Flametail to her true purpose.
“We are in my territory, Ivypool. I will tear you to shreds,” Flametail threatened, baring his fangs at her. He appeared threatening enough, but he was a medicine cat; even an average ShadowClan warrior wouldn’t pose a threat to her. “Actually, this is my territory,” both Ivypool and Flametail were shocked to see the shadowy massive figure off Brokenstar appear in front of them. What was going on?
“Who in StarClan’s name is this?” Flametail demanded, the ginger fur along his spine standing up.
“Brokenstar, leader of ShadowClan,” Brokenstar’s mew, like stones tumbling over one another made Ivypool uneasy. He wasn’t supposed to be here, so why was he? “Ivypool, I’ll take the lead.”
“I…okay,” Ivypool dipped her head, accepting her role here. It didn’t take Flametail long to figure out what was coming.
The massive dirt brown tabby pounced on Flametail and Ivypool sprung to action, circling around so that she was beside Flametail when he tried to dodge Brokenstar’s attack. She kicked his hindlegs from under him and he fell to his side. She and Brokenstar attacked, tearing their claws into his flank.
“Cowards!” Flametail screeched. With a massive heave he managed to shake the both of them off, slicing Brokenstar’s muzzle in the process.
“You’ll regret that,” Brokenstar hissed. This time Ivypool took the lead and charged at Flametail, swiping a heavy paw at his muzzle. He dodged her first blow but crashed right into her second one, her other paw slicing into his neck. His blood sprayed her pelt and the forest floor beneath them. The wound wasn’t deep enough to kill him- and before she could Brokenstar took her place.
Faster than she’d seen him move before he clamped his jaws around Flametail’s throat and with a great heave hurled him against a tree. He hit it with a thud and didn’t get back up. Brokenstar stalked over to his bleeding body and called her over with the flick of his tail. As she approached Brokenstar tore his throat open with a sharp snap of his jaws.
“Now you know what it takes Ivypool. The next one will be all yours.”
Chapter 13: Lines In The Sand“Blackstar, calm down,” Firestar meowed, attempting to reason with the raging white leader. He was only a heartbeat away from leaping from his perch on his branch into the crowd of gathered cats beneath him and forcing answers out of them. Ivypool was sure to show the same shock and horror at Blackstar’s announcement of finding Flametail’s mangled body, tongue torn out of his mouth, in the heart of ShadowClan territory. He and his warriors, more than needed for a gathering, had stormed in late and demanded attention. They put everyone at disease, and the hatred that poured off them polluted the air so much that it was hard to breathe.
“It’s a tragedy what happened to him, but you don’t know that anyone of us did something like this,” Mistystar agreed, the blue gray she cat only barely hiding the anger in her voice. “Tragedy! How dare either of you sit there and talk to me like I’m a kit! My medicine cat was slaughtered! He was young and this was murder, cold blooded murder and someone will pay,” Blackstar roared, his eyes scoring holes in the cats who sat as his equal. There was no need to finish that statement; everyone who heard knew that he meant with their lives. “Every cat in this forest is guilty until the culprit is caught.”
“Blackstar, there is no evidence that suggests that any cat from either clan killed him,” Firestar reminded him. “You reported that the only scents present were his and the smell of catmint. A rouge could have done this; a cat from-“
“Don’t you dare suggest a cat from ShadowClan could have killed him,” Blackstar warned, his voice a low and menacing growl. Firestar recoiled as if he had been stung.
“It wouldn’t be the first time ShadowClan housed murders,” Graystripe meowed darkly. She wondered what he meant by that, but clearly it was a known fact as both Cloudtail and Thornclaw nodded their heads in agreement. This was going marvelously; these cats would be ready to claw each other’s throats out before the night ended!
“I think you should consider it, Blackstar,” Onestar meowed, speaking for the first time since his arrival. “You need to explore all possibilities; what would any of us gain from killing your medicine cat? Besides, who could have lured him out of his camp in the middle of the night? It would have to be someone he trusted.”
“Onestar, if you speak another word I will flay you,” Blackstar snarled. And what would happen if the leaders fought at this gathering? Ivypool looked at the throng of ShadowClan warriors and realized not only had they not separated, but Littlecloud wasn’t among them. Were they afraid some cat might kill him here, in the gathering? They don’t have to worry; my next target isn’t a ShadowClan cat.
“Ivypool,” she heard her name hissed through muted fangs and slowly turned around. She instinctively knew it was Tigerheart who called to her; she could see the pain, the need in his eyes. She eased out of the crowd into the shadows behind, never taking her eyes off of the action before her. Tigerheart was a part of her plan too; just a minute, somewhat insignificant part.
“I’m so sorry about your brother, Tigerheart,” Ivypool meowed, her eyes glowing with the anticipation of tears. He was usually strong, a pillar, but his grief and anger had taken its toll. He was a bit thinner, and his amber eyes lost a piece of what made them his. That was what made him different than his ancestor; Tigerstar had never really felt anything for anyone other than himself and his plans. She took a step closer to him and felt him shudder.
“Ivypool, if I- if I asked you a question, would you be honest with me?” Tigerheart asked. She could tell that he was at the end of his rope and coming to her was a feared last resort. He wasn’t naïve to the developments of her status in the Dark Forest and knew the risks that came with approaching her. “Can I trust you, Ivypool? I- I know things have…changed for you. But we-we’re still us.”
“Of course, Tigerheart,” Ivypool told him, being sure to catch his eyes. It had become like breathing for her, lying to every cat around her. “You matter to me. You……I trust you, Tigerheart.” He held her gaze for a heartbeat, and she knew what he was searching for, and let him find it. She showed a bit of vulnerability so that he would feel comfortable and loved.
“Do you……do you know anything about Flametail’s death?” Tigerheart asked. “Did it have anything to do with the Dark Forest? Was I…was it my fault?” she hesitated and looked away from him, towards the quarreling cats in the clearing. They seemed to have quieted, but the tension could never be dispersed because the accusations could never be taken back. Everyone was taking a side here, one that wouldn’t solve Flametail’s murder but blow away the cloud of suspicion lingering above their own head.
“Tigerheart, I-”
“Please, Ivypool. I need to know,” Tigerheart’s voice cracked as he spoke, drawing her back to him. He wasn’t an awful cat, not really. But, he wasn’t like her.
“What do you think, Tigerheart? His tongue was ripped out. And just look at the clan’s right now. How could this not be a part of their plans?” Ivypool told him. “But before you do anything rash, I will try and find out more. Because I don’t know for sure. They don’t tell me everything because they don’t really trust me yet.” That of course couldn’t be further from the truth; they trusted her and allowed her to help plan things, while she was the one who didn’t trust them and kept her plans hidden. It was weird to know that she had them, though it was only a matter of time before she became a schemer, just like her- no. he isn’t anything to me anymore and he never was.
“Ivypool please don’t take this the wrong way, but-”
“I didn’t, Tigerheart. I would never do that to you,” Ivypool cut him off, knowing where his question would lead. She raised her paw and lay it gently on his cheek. “I know I’ve done some bad things, but to you- I would give my own life before I did something like that to you.” She felt him begin to cry; his body began shaking, and a soft yet choppy moan eased its way out of him. She rested her muzzle on his head, wanting him to know that she would be there for him.
“Ivypool!” he whined, his face contorting into something molded with grief, “He was my brother! I can’t-” he began sobbing uncontrollably, so she stood there and embraced him so that he could release a portion of everything he had held in. She knew this was a wound that would never truly heal, but it didn’t really matter; he wouldn’t have to live that long. None of them would.
...
“But why Flametail? Wouldn’t it be easier to go for Jayfeather?” Hawkfrost asked, looking from Ivypool to Tigerstar. What was she thinking? She had only just earned a spot in their sand pit, and she was already acting as if she were in charge. She had been briefed by Mapleshade, who had taken a liking to Ivypool much to his dismay. “Because you all tried to kill Jayfeather and it didn’t work,” Ivypool pointed out. “Granted, you sent a WindClan warrior to kill a blind medicine cat, but still.”
“I was there too, little fledgling,” Brokenstar snarled, his cracked fangs showing. “Jayfeather lived because StarClan wished it to be so.”
“Yeah, we all know you failed,” Ivypool meowed evenly, not even looking at him. Hawkfrost knew this wasn’t the cat he had first brought to Tigerstar and wasn’t sure that he liked this new Ivypool. “Which is why I say we leave Jayfeather out of the equation, for now. Flametail is the perfect target because ShadowClan has already lost a deputy, and they are the most likely to react violently and rashly. You want to cause a greater distance and hatred amongst the clans; ShadowClan can do that.”
“She’s right,” Hawkfrost put in, getting to his paws. He knew he had to lobby for her, because she didn’t realize how little of a voice she really had here. “Everyone knows ShadowClan is still the black heart of the forest, and most cats will feel a superficial pity for them. They won’t rally together to try and solve Flametail’s murder. They will only seek to offer meek condolences and clear their name.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to cause tension between two of the clans?” Thistleclaw asked, glaring at Ivypool. Hawkfrost remembered what was the outcome of the training session he had orchestrated between them, and knew how much Thistleclaw loathed Ivypool. “Killing one silly medicine cat won’t do that if no one cares about ShadowClan, as the two of you so gladly pointed out.”
“Not really, Thistleclaw. If Flametail is killed, ShadowClan will want to cut ties with all the clans. And all the clans will gladly let it happen, which means it will only be a matter of time before accusations start to fly. ThunderClan will fall under the most suspicion,” Hawkfrost countered, meeting the gray and white warrior’s challenge before Ivypool could.
“That is why I will kill him in the heart of his own territory,” Ivypool put in, this time addressing Tigerstar.
“You?” Tigerstar asked, curious. “What makes you think you could be trusted with such a task?”
“It was my idea,” Ivypool pointed out. “And none of you would do it right anyway. He has to be killed in the heart of his clan, so that any cat, including one from ShadowClan, could be the culprit.”
“Looks like your apprentice has grown up, Hawkfrost,” Mapleshade sneered, looking at Ivypool. He hated Mapleshade the most out of all these cats, especially the way she looked at Ivypool. It was as if she were jealous of her, and wanted to be her, but at the same time wanted to rip her skin off. “I say we let her do it.”
“Whatever,” Brokenstar snarled, getting up and leaving. “Just be sure not to mess it up.”
“I won’t,” Ivypool called after him. Hawkfrost watched her rest her eyes on his darkened shoulders as he swaggered off into the deathly forest before she focused back on the remaining cats. “So Tigerstar, do we have a plan?”
“Yes we do, Ivypool,” Tigerstar meowed. He then got to his paws and arched his back in a stretch. She watched the massive tabby’s muscles ripple beneath his pelt. “There are only a few cats who know what our plans are, even fewer who are so good at adapting to them. I hope that you don’t take this mission lightly, Ivypool. Failure is not an option. Flametail isn’t blind, and he won’t keep his jaws closed.” With that, Tigerstar stalked off, followed by Thistleclaw who threw a final glare at Hawkfrost and Ivypool. Hawkfrost could always feel that every single one of these cats were only a moment away from battle, and he found it hard to imagine how they got anything done.
“I guess I’ll go to,” Mapleshade meowed, looking from Hawkfrost to Ivypool. Hawkfrost saw a look in her eyes, and knew it well, though he didn’t acknowledge it. That would come later, when the moment was opportune. She left, and for a brief moment, they were alone.
“Good job,” Hawkfrost told her, staring at the ashen trees surrounding them.
“You expected anything less?” Ivypool asked, padding past him. She stopped at his side. “This will work.”
“Of course it will. Go and find your medicine cat.” Chapter 14: Personal JusticeI felt like I was losing fragments of my soul as the days grew shorter and the deaths more violent. But not because I was committing murder; but because it was easy. Since that gathering, Willowshine and Kestrelflight had both become my targets, and have both been terminated. It was fun, every single time. I think that this was the moment that cats began to catch on, because Jayfeather- he seemed on such an edge around me. When he’s around other cats you can tell that he sees through them, but when he gets around me it’s almost like he hits a wall of darkness. Or maybe he can see through me too and is just so frightened by what he finds that he tries his best to hide from me. But Dovewing doesn’t hide from me. I know that she knows it’s me, I can see it in those judgmental stares she gives me when I pass her. I wonder if she watched it happen- she has that power. She could have seen me rip out each and every one of their tongues, though I don’t think she would watch.
They began calling me the Tongue Ripper, as imaginative as that is. I don’t know if I can live with such a name, but it gets a lot of attention with those Dark Forest warriors. At least the ones who know the truth, which are only a few. To them, I’m the Tongue Ripper, a name I wear with pride, so that they will only say my name with the utmost respect. They’ve even given me an apprentice of my own; Blossomfall. She’s not much of a fighter, but I suppose I wasn’t in the begging either. She makes me think of something Hawkfrost once said about me, that I wasn’t evil, just jealous. But it’s all the same thing once you’ve spent enough time around hateful cats. Flowers can’t blossom in the dark, which is where Tigerstar was wrong. I am not a flower he allowed to bloom on his soil, I am a prisoner who found a way to set herself free. But, I’m not free, not just yet. There are still something’s I need to take care of.
It got more difficult with each kill. After Willowshine it became clear that Medicine Cats were being targeted and both Leafpool and Jayfeather never set foot outside of camp without a warrior accompanying them. Kestrleflight too; He was hard to get to. I had to rely on Antpelt to get him out of camp and even then his blood was still warm when they found his body and I barely made it to the lake to wash his blood and his scent off.
But the plan worked. Earlier the dawn patrol got into a fight with a few WindClan cats and I heard from Minnowtail that RiverClan had to fight off a battle party from ShadowClan. At the last gathering, after I killed Willowshine the truce was broken after Mistystar blatantly accused Blackstar of having her Medicine Cat killed to avenge the death of his own. These cats were ready to rip each other a part and it was all because of the death of three cats. I had done that, turned the clans against each other. War would break out soon; it’s inevitable. It would be like a bolt of lightning striking a tree in a dry forest. One little bolt would burn the whole forest down and I won’t be around to see it.
...
“Ivypool!” Ivypool looked up from her nest in the frigid camp to where Lionblaze stood at the den entrance. The always noble tom looked angry and triumphant, and she knew what it was he wanted. “I need to speak with you. Now.”
“Well of course Lionblaze. I live to serve you,” Ivypool meowed dryly, rolling her eyes. “Would you like me to groom your fur first?”
“Ivypool, this is serious,” His tone was slightly more concerned as he lowered his voice, so she got to her paws, not wanting to make a scene.
“What is it? Did Dovewing run off? Or is Cinderheart not speaking to you this half-moon? Oh wait, this is the speaking half-moon, or is it? You two really should announce these sort of things, so regular ol’ warriors like me can keep up. You know I live vicariously through you two,” Ivypool taunted, brushing past him. She knew she had struck a nerve, but he must have really been firm in his resolve because he didn’t bite. Though the sun hadn’t completely set the camp was almost empty. Snow had fallen and melted and sent most of her clanmates running for their nest or sniffling to the medicine cat’s den. She had left behind an empty warriors’ den, though it was nice to finally have a moment of peace.
“We’re not talking in camp. Follow me,” Lionblaze grunted as his warm breath billowed out of his muzzle. Even he was looking thinner, a side effect of a harsh leaf bare, though she knew in full confidence the strength beneath his pelt. So she followed him out of camp into the weaning light that lingered in the forest, hoping this would be fast. He led her towards the edge of their territory, in the direction of the WindClan border. This in itself was risky because after the death of two more medicine cat’s every clan was on high alert. Any cat seen near a border was challenged and chased off on sight, especially from ThunderClan. Being the only clan that hadn’t suffered a loss, the most suspicion had fallen upon them. So even they had grown hostile, and Firestar had shrunk away from his usual over involved mannerisms.
“Where are we-”
“Be quiet, Ivypool,” Lionblaze silenced her without looking back. “You should know why we have to be quiet.” So she continued to follow him in silence, prepared for the brunt of his rage to come hailing down on her like falling stars. They, surprisingly, didn’t meet a single WindClan warrior, though she speculated that it was more out of fear of the night as darkness had become her calling card. He led her farther up their border, past the Moonpool, which she had always wanted to visit. The path was grey and rocky, and the stones began to ware on her pads.
“I think this is far enough, Lionblaze,” Ivypool meowed, stopping. He turned around to face her and glared into her blue eyes. “If you plan to kill me, that is. No one would hear, and no one would find my body.”
“What makes you think I’m going to kill you?” He asked, his voice tight. She knew that he wanted to, but assumed it was the morals he clung to that held him back.
“Then why are we here? You’re not about to tell me you love me,” Ivypool meowed. She knew he was hoping to get her to reveal the truth, but she never would. She would take her secrets to her grave, as was her prerogative.
“How could a cat like me kill the Tongue Ripper?” Lionblaze accused, taking a step towards her.
“You mean a cat touched by the stars and blessed by his ancestors?” Ivypool returned the challenge. “You didn’t think I knew. If I didn’t, we would have fought the second we entered into the forest.”
“How could you do something like this?” Lionblaze asked, disgusted. “You, a ThunderClan cat. Dovewing’s sister. You- I helped train you! I should have known then what you were up to. I should have put a stop to it. But how could you become this cat who kills others for fun? Or is this a part of some sick plot you scrapped together with your Dark Forest friends?”
“Lionblaze, do you really want me to answer you?” Ivypool asked him.
“I deserve an answer. Every cat around this lake deserves an answer!” Lionblaze snapped. “You will explain yourself!” Ivypool held her tongue and stared him down, boldly defiant. She would not give him what he wanted, some sort of way to rationalize her actions, to make her more of a cat. She wanted to be a monster, a horrid creature who haunted this forest for seasons to come. She would not let him take that from her. “Tell me something, Ivypool. Let me know where you went wrong.” When she continued to remain silent, he spat at her, and attacked, bowling her over and pinning her to the ground.
“You might as well kill me Lionblaze, because that’s what you were made to do,” Ivypool glared into his amber eyes as she spoke, hatred bubbling up in her voice. “Right? StarClan made you a fighter so you could slay every cat who dares oppose the mighty Lionblaze. Do it!” she spat in his muzzle, and for a moment, he froze, his face contorted in rage. Her resolve…she was held in a moment. And in that moment, she was willing to die. But he… his morale won, and he backed off.
“No. I should kill you, but I promised Dovewing that I would let you live,” Lionblaze told her, and she knew he meant it. She got to her paws and shook her pelt off, still a little shaken. Had he killed her, it would have all ended. Is that what I want? Would that make me happy? “But in exchange for your life, what little it’s worth, you will leave the clans, and never return. If you do, I will kill you,” Lionblaze snarled at her.
“I was once told that we always return home, Lionblaze,” Ivypool meowed evenly, looking at him through narrowed eyes. “Remember that.”
“This isn’t your home Ivypool. You made that clear when you…” Lionblaze looked away from her. “Just go.”
“Huh. You’ll regret this day, Lionblaze,” Ivypool threatened, stalking past him. She stopped by his shoulder and looked back. “That’s a promise.”
“Why did you do it, Ivypool?” Lionblaze asked again, this time more hurt.
“Because I can. Because it was fun.” Ivypool began to sprint away from him, suddenly wanting to be as far away as possible. It had finally happened; she was free! For a brief moment, she took joy in this. She had expected him to kill her, and then she would live again, but with them, in that place that reeked of death. But he was giving her a second chance, and she could now just disappear.
“So Ivypool, what will you do now?” she stopped.
“Hawkfrost,” Ivypool let out a defeated sigh. Had he no bounds?
“If you recall, Ivypool, I offered you a way out. You spat in my face. Don’t think that now, you can walk away from it all. This is a setback, but a minor one. It too shall pass,” Hawkfrost explained, his voice a mocking calm. “You have fallen so deep into a chasm that there is no hope for your recovery. Sorry, Ivypool. You can’t run away from this life you’ve chosen.”
“I could kill you,” Ivypool snarled, whirling around to face him, fangs bared.
“You could, but that would buy you a few hours. A day at the most. Then you’d be right back where you started. The only way out, Ivypool, is to follow your dear mentor,” Hawkfrost told her, his eyes glittering.
“Are you offering me what you did before?” Ivypool asked, frantically hopeful. Immediately the taunt in Hawkfrost’s eyes faded and was replaced with seriousness and concern.
“Ivypool, do you realize that you have changed? You are not the cat who I stood before that day; that cat wouldn’t go around ripping out tongues of medicine cats. And you definitely aren’t the cat who I made my apprentice so many moons ago. I don’t know you anymore, and I doubt that you know yourself. I can’t offer you what I did before. What I have in mind for us is something different entirely.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:31:49 GMT -5
Chapter 15: The Best Of Criminals
“And what is that?” Ivypool asked. “Have you really not been listening to me this entire time? You should be able to guess,” Hawkfrost criticized.
“What, you want to take over the forest?” Ivypool tossed at him, rolling her eyes as she turned away. “Give me a break.”
“It’s not that simple, Ivypool, but yes, at least in principle. I want what I always wanted, what I was promised. I want my freedom; I want my life,” Hawkfrost told her. She turned around and eyed him curiously.
“Hawkfrost, there is no way that you can be alive again,” she meowed carefully. “You know that.”
“I thought I did. But things are happening every day that never happened before,” Hawkfrost told her, suddenly bursting with passion. “I had things stolen from me too, Ivypool. My father took advantage of me and made me who he wanted me to be. Even when he promised that he would make me ruler over the forest with Brambleclaw, he always intended to rule over us. But I was already in too deep.”
“Hawkfrost don’t you dare sit here and paint this disgusting picture of you being the victim,” Ivypool snarled, her voice shaking. “The only cat who is a victim here is me.”
“And you’re so much better than me, right? Tongue Ripper? I wonder who made you do that,” Hawkfrost snapped. The emotions were running wild in him, like a fire berating a forest.
“You made me into what I am!” Ivypool roared, her eyes swelling. “I was an innocent kit. I was young. And you- you took that from me! You took every chance I had at being normal, at being happy, at being free! You took it and you tore it to shreds and you didn’t even blink an eye. You didn’t care. I became the Tongue Ripper because you made me. I would have never-“
“You would have never what? Been here? Guess what Ivypool, you are. And not because of what I did, but because of what you did! You ripped out Flametail’s tongue because you are violent and hateful and cruel! You played with Tigerheart’s feelings and plotted to kill your sister because you are selfish and impatient and a bully. I did not make you into the cat you are today. Yes, I did manipulate and use you. I twisted your emotions and tried to turn you into a cat I wanted you to be, and I am sorry. Do you hear me? I am sorry for what I did to you, Ivypool. I am. But you can’t blame everything you’ve done on me. Yes I opened the door, but you walked through. You walked through, and then turned around and blew a whole wall down.” Ivypool was silent, her eyes locked on Hawkfrost. I projected all of my monster like qualities on him so that I could continue on, but he isn't the murderer now, I am.
“So what now, Hawkfrost?” Ivypool asked, shaking with tears. “What’s your big plan?”
“Like I told you, Ivypool. I want to be alive. I had my shot at life stolen from me. I do not regret the things I’ve done, nor do I blame them on anyone else. But I will not allow Tigerstar to run my life. Not him, or any of his puppets.” Hawkfrost turned away from her, walking towards the falling sun. "The day will come when I will feel the sun kiss my fur goodnight.” He stood still for a moment, and Ivypool let him be. She was beginning to see what he had truly meant when they spoke. He never intended to share me with Tigerstar; he was building his own army! He wanted cats loyal to him, and him alone.
“Who else knows?” Ivypool asked.
“No one. I can trust no one but you,” Hawkfrost told her. He hadn’t turned around, but she knew he meant what he said. "When Tigerstar overthrows the clans, we will stand beside him. For a moment, at least. And after he kills Firestar, I will kill him. But until then, we will pick off his closest allies in the Dark Forest: Thistleclaw, Darkstripe, Brokenstar, Mapleshade.”
“Hawkfrost, how can the two of us pull off something like that?” Ivypool asked, skeptical. She was as confident in her battle prowess as ever but taking all of them down was more than a little ambitious.
“Ivypool, when I told you you’re exceptional, I meant it. Together, the two of us can do anything. I have faith in us,” Hawkfrost meowed. This time he did turn to face her, the fading sun darkening the shadow he existed as. “Do you?”
“Hawkfrost, the second either one of them dies, Tigerstar will know and immediately be on the hunt for blood,” Ivypool told him.
“You couldn’t be more wrong,” Hawkfrost meowed, shaking his head in disagreement. “I’ve spent the remainder of my existence around him. I’ve watched him. I know him. He trusts me, because he is so arrogant that he doesn’t care about anything, not even ruling the forest, other than himself, and killing Firestar. That is his one true resolve, and his tragic flaw. He will not bat an eye if any- including me- dies. We are all expendable to him, and he would kill us all himself if he thought it profitable. He thinks no one would ever defy him or leave his side. He’s convinced himself that I am his little pet. That is why he won’t see it coming. But he will fight back- all of them will. Don’t think for a second, Ivypool, that you’ve made a single friend in that place. Every cat that we meet in battle will try to kill us.”
“You make it seem so easy,” Ivypool meowed, a bit flustered.
“It won’t be. But we’ve got each other’s backs- that is why we will win. Our loyalties lie in each other, where as they are only loyal to themselves and power. United, we will remain undefeated,” Hawkfrost declared proudly.
“That’s why Tigerstar recruited so many clan cats, even though he despised them,” Ivypool meowed, realization striking her like a claw to her throat. “He wants to weaken the clans by ruining their trust network, so that when they should be standing together fighting, they’ll be focused on the betrayal of loved ones. It’s brilliant.”
“Don’t you ever call a single thing he does brilliant,” Hawkfrost snorted. “He just wants to create a window so that he can kill Firestar. Everything else- though he takes credit- wasn’t his idea. I was the one who suggested recruiting clan cats. He only focused on the three.”
“And what about the three? Lionblaze won’t just fall in line with our new order of things,” Ivypool pointed out, wondering what it would feel like to fight a cat she knew couldn’t lose.
“Lionblaze is an idiot who will fall the same as any other warrior,” Hawkfrost declared. “Ivypool, why do you doubt us so much?”
“I’m just concerned, Hawkfrost. You told me once…you said you failed in achieving your goals because no one stood by you. And now, you’re placing all that weight on my shoulders. It’s like you expect me to atone for the wrongs done to you in the past,” Ivypool pointed out. “Tigerstar has friends; why shouldn’t we?”
“Because they can’t be trusted,” Hawkfrost told her. He seemed still as he held her gaze, and a little too steadfast in his belief that no one other than her could be trusted.
“You can’t know that,” Ivypool meowed, attempting to reason with him. “If they can be turned to Tigerstar’s side, they can be turned to yours. You just have to give them a chance.”
“Right. Give the cats who turned traitor to their own clans at the pitiful ballad of a murderer a chance. Those are the cats we want to stand by our side, because they clearly have loyalty,” the condescension in his voice had returned, and she felt like she was nothing more than his apprentice again.
“It all depends on how you sell it,” Ivypool told him. “I know of a few cats who know in their heart what Tigerstar is doing is wrong- they just have no idea how to get out. They’re scared.”
“And cats like that are even more unreliable,” Hawkfrost told her. “They’d turn on us if anyone offered them a way out that seemed easier- or if they thought Tigerstar would win, and we’d lose. They are just as selfish as any other Dark Forest warrior.”
‘You’re wrong, Hawkfrost,” Ivypool told him, surprised at how cynical he was, though she shouldn’t be.
“I’m wrong?” Hawkfrost meowed, as if he had never heard the two words coupled together.
“Yes. You. Are. Wrong. You really think you’re so different than Tigerstar? Standing here right now, you are just like him. Tigerstar’s flaw was that he didn’t care about anyone, and he didn’t trust anyone. So he had no real comrades, just blind followers without the sense to think for themselves. He used fear and manipulation to control others. But that isn’t trust, and it doesn’t guarantee loyalty,” Ivypool lectured.
“We don’t need any other cat’s help,” Hawkfrost repeated, this time more sternly.
“We do,” Ivypool insisted. “We may be able to kill a few Dark Forest cats, but what happens then? What’s to stop the rest of Tigerstar’s warriors from attacking us? We need the strength of a majority.”
“You amaze me Ivypool,” Hawkfrost said, gazing into her eyes. She began to feel warm, until he continued. “Despite all you’ve been through, and all you’ve done, somehow you managed to ignore almost everything and hold onto these kit-like dreams of a generally good and happy world. If I didn’t know you, I’d call it stupidity, or selective ignorance. But it’s more of some strange defiant hope.”
“Hawkfrost, how do you even trust me?” Ivypool asked, exasperated. He was being as thick headed as ever, so stuck in his own jaded view of the world that he wasn’t even listening.
“What?”
“How do you trust me? If that’s really how you feel, that everyone around you is selfish and fickle and dark and deceptive, how can you trust me, when I’m one of the worst of them? Given all I’ve done?” Ivypool repeated herself, this time sounding more forceful. She wanted him to see the contradiction in his speech; how he refused to trust others off the generalization that they were all terrible, yet blindly and absolutely trusted her. He stared at her, his eyes blank, as if she had asked him the stupidest question any cat could ask.
“Because I love you, Ivypool. Don’t you know that?”
Chapter 16: I love You, Ivypool
That was what he left her with: I love you. And so she wasn’t able to sit because he had found a new and cliché way to set her paws a blaze. She paced back and forth, her paws wearing into the rocky terrain. Her pads could bleed for all she cared because he loved her! Her, above all else. But why should I care? He doesn’t really love me. I know he doesn’t. He can’t, because he’s from the Dark Forest. He is a hateful and evil cat. He is a murder, and a bully. He played with my emotions and manipulated me- he admitted to it! He is a liar, and I’ve believed him for so long. I’d be a fool to do it now.
She stopped walking, realizing she had no idea where she was. She had made her way atop a cliff that overlooked what she could see to be the lake, and therefore the clans. The lake looked so still and peaceful, with the stars hanging their reflections in such a lonesome place. She knew it was cold and windy, too cold to be alone, and snow could be expected to strike at any moment. But standing there, looking down at them, it gave her so much……power. She knew it was hers, every last bush. It’s ours: our kingdom. Our paradise, and we will rule it and they will bow to us. Every one of them, no matter who they believe in, will bow to us. They will bow before the might of our love. They will hide away in fear. She turned away, back to her assorted reality. Here, alone, amongst the rocks and outcasts. She would rule nothing. She was, as she had always felt, alone. So what if it’s been two days since I saw him. He’s busy- he’ll come back to me. He always does. \ “He said he would live again,” Ivypool meowed, for the first time letting her paws touch the ground. “He told me he would live again.” How was that possible? She had been so distracted by his words, and his smell. The confidence in his icey gaze, the way his whiskers quivered when he got excited… No. focus. He praises me on being a warrior-an extraordinary warrior. And he always asks me if I listen when he speaks. I know he is dead. No matter what we’ve been through… But was he? There were times when he had come to her, and it was like he was alive. And she had wanted him so much those times… But even he said he wasn’t alive. No one can come back to life. But he told me things are happening every day that he thought were impossible. What does that mean? He didn’t explain it, and I didn’t ask. She began to feel like he was lying to her again; which wouldn’t be such a revelation. She had ignored his comment about getting his life back because she thought it were impossible, but what if it wasn’t? He wouldn’t have mentioned it if he didn’t at least believe it could happen. She had no idea what he was planning, at least not completely. He may love her, but he still wasn’t being honest. So she still couldn’t trust him.
...
“Tigerheart!” Ivypool hissed from her poorly concealed hideout outside of the ShadowClan camp. It was extremely bold and dangerous, but she didn’t know who else to turn to- rather, Tigerheart was the best cat for her to turn to, given the situation. She saw him walk out of the camp and realized he would be leaving alone. Frankly, she hated being by herself, isolated from any real contact with other cats. She missed her clan, and part of coming to find him was so she could be close to them. But this was as close as she dared- however hostile ShadowClan would be, ThunderClan would be ten times worse. He glanced over at her, clearly shaken out of whatever dark thought had caused his most recent bought of depression. He motioned for her to follow him with his ears, and took off, straight for the RiverClan border. She waited for a heartbeat, then slithered out of the thin bush and bolted after him, confident he wouldn’t lead her to danger. She was now more than ever thankful that no cat other than Lionblaze and Dovewing knew she was The Tongue Ripper. No matter what he felt for her, he would never help her if he knew. She recognized where he was taking her instantly, though it was a longer route. They had encountered the river that led to the lake, the one Tigerheart and the beaver hunters had followed when the lake dried up. But he veered to the right, heading back into ShadowClan’s barren leafbare territory. But soon she could see the abandoned twoleg place. Though it was tattered and shabby, molded in some places and covered in vines, it was better shelter than what she had been used to.
“What are you doing here, Ivypool?” Tigerheart asked, the intensity in his amber eyes carrying her off her paws. He didn’t allow her to get comfortable in this alien home, which was to be expected.
“I came to see you,” Ivypool told him. She thought about trying to play up his feelings for her but declined to do so.
“In the middle of the day? I am a warrior, Ivypool. I can’t just disappear in the middle of the day,” Tigerheart meowed, glancing around as if a patrol of his clanmates were to come storming in.
“But you did, which means you can,” Ivypool pointed out. “Relax, Tigerheart. I need your help.”
“What you need is to go back to your clan,” Tigerheart retorted. “It’s not safe for you here.”
“It’s not safe for me there either,” Ivypool told him, fixing him with a look. “Or else I would be. I know you’ve noticed my absence in The Dark Forest.”
“Of course I have. Everyone has, though no one really says anything,” Tigerheart told her, his tone a little lighter. “Your clan- they’re worried about you. They don’t know why you left. They’re too afraid to ask anyone in the Dark Forest, but they thought The Tongue Ripper had gotten to you. You were their leader there, and they haven’t seen you in days.”
“If I could come back, I would. But I can’t,” Ivypool told him, brushing past his comment. “I can’t really say why, but it’s not safe for me in ThunderClan. And I guess Tigerstar knows I’ve left, and figured I was no longer of much use.”
“Well you’re wrong about that,” Tigerheart interjected. “He wants to know where his favorite living warrior has gone as much as anyone. He probably thinks you disappearing like that makes him look weak.”
“Tell him I miss him too,” Ivypool meowed dryly.
“Will do,” Tigerheart chuckled. “What about Mapleshade? She’s been sick with worry. Slicing up apprentices left and right.”
“Not Mapleshade!! Ohhhh I’m just sick with grief!” Ivypool cried out, pretending to stumble and feint. Tigerheart was at her side in an instant, his eyes shining down on her like chips of fire. His body was warm, and it made her feel wanted.
“Ivypool, you should be more careful,” Tigerheart blinked, laying a paw on her cheek. “You could really get hurt if you don’t have a big strong tom like me around.”
“Then why don’t you come and live with me,” Ivypool offered, only half joking. “I’m all alone in this big scary world, and I hear stories of these cats who live down by the lake. They look so strong, I could never stand up to them.”
“I just happen to rule those cats,” Tigerheart boasted, thrusting out his chest. “They won’t bother you, as pretty as you are.”
“Isn’t that sweet,” Ivypool told him, getting to her paws. “But seriously, Tigerheart. You can’t tell a soul you’ve seen me. Living or dead.”
“Okay, Ivypool. I get it. I don’t really know why, but I’ll keep you a secret,” Tigerheart agreed.
“The less you know, the better you’ll be able to lie,” Ivypool told him. “That’s why I’m not going to tell you where I’ve been staying.”
“Is it far? Is it safe? Are you alone? Ivypool, if you really need a place to stay...” it was sweet, the way Tigerheart cared for her. It was the same way Berrynose cared for Poppyfrost. Sweet, but misguided, since she didn't need protecting.
“Tigerheart, I’m fine. And there’s no way I could live here, or in ShadowClan,” Ivypool told him. When he looked away from her, she felt the need to console him. “But thanks for the offer. It’s sweet that you care about me.”
“I just want you to be happy Ivypool. I want you to be happy and safe,” Tigerheart meowed, walking towards the entrance of the twoleg den. “I wish I could do more to make that a reality.”
“Well there is something you can do for me,” she meowed, padding to his side. “Keep your eyes and ears open in the Dark Forest. I know where your allegiances truly lie; and soon, they will strike.”
“Well Tigerstar’s been pretty busy,” Tigerheart told her. “He’s had us training like crazy. We’ve even been exploring each other’s territories.”
“What?” Ivypool asked, confused. “What do you mean we?”
“Well, I didn’t really have a choice,” Tigerheart admitted. “I had to show them ShadowClan, and I had to go to the other clan’s too. We were in the Dark Forest… and then we weren’t. I don’t really know how to explain it.”
“I know what you mean. Hawkfrost did the same thing with me,” Ivypool offered, though she did sort of know how to explain it. “That must be how he plans to invade clan territory all at once!”
“What?” Tigerheart asked, turning his head to look at her.
“Tigerheart, you can’t repeat this to a soul,” Ivypool warned, the slightest hint of a threat behind her words. He nodded his head, and she continued. “Even though I’m “In” with Tigerstar, there are still things I don’t get told. But if he’s able to bring a bunch of you from the Dark Forest to the living world, that means he plans to do it when he launches his attack. All the territories at once, so that we can’t defend ourselves, or offer aid to anyone else.”
“Then that’s why he wants us to learn the territory, so when we fight, we’ll be familiar with the layout,” Tigerheart added.
“I have to go now, Tigerheart,” Ivypool told him, leaving the poorly sheltered den and setting her paws on the frosted grass. “I’ll see you around.”
“Wait!” Tigerheart meowed, chasing after her. “I wanted to tell you something.”
“What is it?” Ivypool asked. She turned to see him, expecting some sort of joke. But his eyes were nervous and serious, like a thousand fireflies were flying madly around in them. He seemed about to burst out of his dark tabby pelt.
“I missed you, Ivypool. I was afraid you died…like Flametail,” Tigerheart was swelling with emotion, more than Ivypool was prepared to deal with. She hated when he talked about Flametail, mostly because he had no idea who he was talking to.
“Tigerheart, I’m so sorry about your brother, I really am. But I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry-“
“I do have to worry about you Ivypool. I have to worry about you every time that you’re not right next to me. I can’t lose you, not like I lost him. I can’t.” he was hurting; she had hurt him. And he would probably never recover from that. Is this what it feels like to care about someone? To want to be honest with them- to want to comfort them?
“You won’t,” Ivypool told him, moving closer to him and pressing her muzzle to his.
“I- I love you, Ivypool.”
Chapter 17: If I Die Young
“Ivypool, how much did you tell him?” It was happening again. He was berating and belittling her as if she were a kit, too stupid to understand the consequences of her actions.
“I told him nothing, Hawkfrost,” Ivypool sighed, agitated. “I’m not a mouse brain. I’m just saying-"
“What are you saying?” Hawkfrost challenged, staring her down. His paws sank into the snow, a sign that he was a part of her world, though not alive. More like a moving corpse.
“I’m saying that he trusts me,” Ivypool told him. “He is an asset. A friend. And you need all the friends you can get.”
“So then I suppose he’s okay with you killing his brother in cold blood,” Hawkfrost meowed dryly. “There’s a reason why I told you it was only me and you. The things you’ve done, the things I’ve done- the things we will do, they make it hard for anyone to stand by us.”
“He’s in love with me, Hawkfrost,” Ivypool told him. She hadn’t planned to use this unless needed, but a part of her wanted to hurt him. She succeeded. His frosted eyes quivered, as if he were about to cry, but then he snapped back to himself; cold and hard.
“He will kill you, Ivypool,” Hawkfrost told her, his voice full of conviction. “He will. That was a dangerous game you were playing, and now- now he’s too far gone, just like you, to pull out.”
“He loves me,” Ivypool repeated, proudly.
“What? You think love conquers all? That he will forgive you for what you’ve done- strung him along, used him, allowed him to believe that you and him were together, that you weren’t a murderer. He will kill you,” Hawkfrost told her, shaking his head and glaring. He held such a superior and hateful tone that it seemed as if he were the one who had been betrayed.
“So you’re saying that you wouldn’t forgive me?” Ivypool challenged. “You told me you loved me too.”
“I told you I loved you first,” Hawkfrost retorted, fast as a snake. “I said it because I meant it, and I mean it because I know you, Ivypool. I’ve already forgiven you for what you’ve done, for who you are. Tigerheart has no idea who you are. He doesn’t love you.”
“Hawkfrost, you may know a lot but that doesn’t give you the right to say anything you want as if it were fact,” Ivypool meowed, in fierce denial. She needed Tigerheart to love her; it was her source of hope.
“Ok. Then tell me this, Ivypool: do you love him?” Hawkfrost’s question was an outright accusation. He wanted her to choose here and now. She stayed silent for a while.
“All I’m saying, Hawkfrost, is that Tigerheart is an asset to our plans. One who can help bring in others,” Ivypool finally responded.
“Answer my question,” Hawkfrost demanded, outraged that she hadn’t.
“I don’t have to answer anything that doesn’t pertain to our plans,” Ivypool told him coldly. “I learned that from you.” He stared at her through cryptic crystal slits. He padded out of the makeshift den she had found nestled amongst the roots of an old oak tree. It provided decent shelter, though the snow didn’t really stay out and neither did the cold on a particularly windy day. She watched him go, glad for a little privacy. It had been three sunrises since she saw Tigerheart and this was the first time Hawkfrost had returned to her. I should have followed my instincts. I should have kept Tigerheart a secret, saved him for when I really needed him. Now Hawkfrost will probably try and ruin that, like he ruins everything else. She sighed and settled in her nest. She had collected moss and rabbit and mouse fur but had begun relying on the moss to help plug up some of the spaces in her den, so that she would be warmer and safer when she slept. She had begun to doze off when he came back in; a fallen warrior forcing his broad shoulders into her den. His eyes glowed in the dim lighting, but she could scent fresh blood- he had gone hunting. In front of her paws he dropped a squirrel.
“I would have found more, but I’m a dead RiverClan warrior who spends his time in The Place of No Stars,” Hawkfrost commented. She blinked her thanks and began to eat. She had realized quickly why the clans had formed; the world was a cruel and harsh place. She had grown lean and hungry in her days alone, barely able to catch enough food to keep the crows from suspecting her as their next meal. This was perhaps the most impractical way to live: alone.
“Thank you,” she murmured as she licked her jaws. There was nothing left but bones- she had been that hungry. Though she didn’t feel guilty; she doubted he could eat.
“Can I join you?” Hawkfrost asked, moving closer to her. She felt it weird that he would ask, but then it was also the first time he had caught her prey. So, she moved over and made room for him in her nest. It was perhaps the most comforting and strangest sensation in the world. Even though she allowed him to wrap his body around hers, and to stroke her back with his tail, there was no warmth. No heat, no life. He was there, he was moving, but he wasn’t alive, so she couldn’t really feel him. She knew what it should feel like but couldn’t feel it with him.
“Comfortable?” she asked, somewhat mockingly.
“Ivypool, I couldn’t taste that squirrel,” Hawkfrost meowed. He seemed crestfallen and full of melancholy, so she let him speak. “I remember what it tastes like, though I never cared for it. But I- this body- it wasn’t made to experience the joys of living. So even now, when I am so close to you, it feels like you’re an ocean away. What I want, what I crave, is to be alive again. But I wasn’t entirely honest with you. I want that so that you can say you love me and mean it. So that I can be with you, the way- the way he can.”
“Hawkfrost-“
“Please, Ivypool. Let me finish.” She looked up at him, and though he didn’t look at her, she knew that this was the hardest thing he had ever done. “I am willing to risk everything because I love you. I accept that now. I embrace it. I know why you like Tigerheart- because he is alive. He can give you what I never could. But I need to know if you love him. Because I need to know if you would choose him over me. I need to know if you will stand by me, because this won’t work if you aren’t all in.” Ivypool didn’t answer him right away; that was more than she ever expected him to say. It’s truth, his truth. And he’s right- what am I waiting for? What am I doing this for? Who am I here for?
“Hawkfrost?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll kill Mapleshade, before the attack. She should be the first to die, given she’s the closest to death.”
“Have you ever wondered what it was like to die, Ivypool?”
“No. I try not to think about it.” Hawkfrost chuckled at her response.
“That’s funny, given how many cats you’ve killed, that you don’t think about it. When I died I was still young. That’s no surprise though, considering I am a warrior. But I didn’t expect it to happen; I guess, like you, even while living such a dangerous life, I never thought that I would die. When it happened, it wasn’t quick, and I fought to live. There was nothing but pain- blinding, searing pain. The pain; it wasn’t the worst part. It was when the pain started to fade- and I began to lose all feelings. I couldn’t see, everything sounded like I was under water. The thing that a cat who has already died fears most is death- because they know what it is. The fear of the known is greater than the fear of the unknown, Ivypool. Mapleshade may be the closest to fading, but that means she’ll fight harder.”
“I’m fighting for you, Hawkfrost. Doesn’t matter how hard she fights, I’ll always win.”
Chapter 18: The Yellow Brick Road
The Dark Forest was exactly as Ivypool had left it- filled with death. Only now she felt as she did when she first visited; an outsider afraid of every snap of a twig and rustle of leaves, jumping at shadows in a place filled with shadows. But she still remembered her way, the only good thing about a dead forest. Nothing ever changed.
Which meant that she knew exactly where to find Mapleshade. The fading RiverClan warrior enjoyed- if there was anything to enjoy- skulking in a seldom visited part of the forest near a series of rocks that spilled into a dead river. Ivypool had been there several times but this time was different. Different in that she was here to kill Mapleshade.
Hawkfrost kept the other Dark Forest warriors busy and the apprentices were all with their clans in the waking world, so she would have Mapleshade all to herself. At least, that was the plan. In truth she had never been more unsure of a plan, even when she’d plotted to kill the medicine cats. Then she was on her own territory and knew that she had the weight of the Dark Forest behind her actions. Now, it was just her and Hawkfrost. That sounds lonely. She stopped. Shouldn’t that thought make her feel comforted? Usually when cats talked about the one they loved they burst with joy at the thought of them against the world. Now isn’t the time for that. I have to remain focused. She opened her jaws and allowed the scents of the Dark Forest to come in. Amidst the heavy scent of death and carrion was the strong scent of Mapleshade. Ivypool took a deep breath; there was no turning back.
She could see the mangy tortoiseshell amongst the twisted off colored stones, sharpening her claws. Figures.
“Mapleshade,” Ivypool called out, making her presence known. Mapleshade looked up from her dutiful task, her battered face showing signs of delight.
“The prodigal apprentice has returned,” Mapleshade meowed. “Where have you been?”
“Actually that’s why I’m here,” Ivypool watched as Mapleshade’s ears perked up. Ivypool trotted closer to her. “Can we talk?”
Hesitant but curious, Mapleshade was at least a little hooked. “Speak.”
“You were driven out of your clan and abandoned, weren’t you?” Ivypool knew this was true and knew that it was still a sore spot for her. Which meant it was a way to manipulate her.
“I know my life. If you’re asking it’s because you already know,” Mapleshade grumbled, her eyes narrowing.
“How did you deal with it? I…I don’t miss my clan. But I miss being a part of one. I’m alone, and I don’t think…I never realized how that felt, how that really felt. I’ve felt lonely before, even felt alone while I was in ThunderClan, but I’ve never been actually alone.”
“The other cats here, they don’t understand us,” Mapleshade meowed. “They always had each other. When Tigerstar was driven out of ThunderClan he had a group of warriors to go to and then in no time found himself leader of ShadowClan. Brokenstar lived as a rouge but he had his followers and then ThunderClan. Hawkfrost was never alone, not even in his death; and for all Thistleclaw’s attitude now he never knew what it was like to have his clan look at him as anything other than a loyal warrior.”
Mapleshade leapt down from the rocks and padded closer to Ivypool, barely more than a shadow. Even though she knew this was all an act Ivypool couldn’t help the feeling of kinship she had for Mapleshade right now because, if nothing else, she was absolutely right. That’s also why she knew she could manipulate Mapleshade- the only thing that works better than a lie was the truth. And while Mapleshade was making a ploy for her loyalty she was also reliving the painful parts of her past through Ivypool.
“I know Hawkfrost made you kill those medicine cats. Not that you didn’t want to, but it was his idea. But you’re like me, stronger than the rest because you’ve had to be. I’ve realized it’s the plight of the she cat to bear the pain of the world on her shoulders and have no one care. And they never will; every single one of the cats in this place will never understand the things we’ve been through, Ivypool. They don’t understand why this runs so deeply for me. I was abandoned by every cat I knew, cast aside and ignored- and for what? Because I had kits by a tom from another clan. I hadn’t killed anyone. I wasn’t a thief. But I was denied happiness and neglected by the clans, living and dead. Tigerstar wants to kill Firestar but I want them all to die.”
“They never even try to understand, do they? They’re all so consumed with themselves. That’s the only reason I returned to the Dark Forest- because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted someone who could understand. I didn’t expect them to care but I expected them to understand,” Ivypool admitted, her pain mingling with Mapleshade’s. “But they don’t. That’s why no one came looking for me- they wouldn’t, unless they needed something.”
“Why do you think you’ve found me here alone? They’re planning something and they don’t need me so I’m not there. But when they do, when they need to feel good about themselves-“
“They come running.”
“Like a kit to its mother,” Mapleshade sneered. “All toms are like that Ivypool, you’ll come to learn that. I made Tigerstar but do you think he’d ever admit it? That he’d ever acknowledge it? We work and we give and we suffer and we love- we give them our everything and they just go about their lives because they can. They take everything we have to give like a bushel of ticks and use it fill themselves up and then they’re gone, on to be great and we’re left with nothing.”
“Believe me Mapleshade, I’ve learned that the hard way,” Ivypool confessed. “Hawkfrost…I’ve learned that no matter what he does, what he says he’s in this for himself, just like his father.”
“He told you he loved you, didn’t he?” was that…empathy? Ivypool could see it in Mapleshade’s hollow eyes; she was looking at Ivypool the way her mother used to when she was a kit. But it was different, because while her mother’s eyes had always been kind Mapleshade’s reflected the pain and anguish she’d felt at the paws of Hawkfrost’s games. And if she were being honest, she still felt some of it.
“And I believed him,” Ivypool hung her head. She wasn’t faking this; she’d never had anyone to talk about him to, never been able to let any of these thoughts leave her jaws. “I really did. Sometimes, I still do.”
“One of the most painful things you can experience is being betrayed by the one you love, and still loving them,” Mapleshade meowed softly. Ivypool looked up at the sullen she cat. Her anger had faded and now an endless stream of sorrow was seeping out from a wound that had never healed. “I made every cat who ever made me feel like that suffer and I will help you do the same.”
Ivypool’s ears perked up at the stark change in tone Mapleshade displayed. What was she saying? “You mean Hawkfrost?”
“All of them Ivypool. Hawkfrost, your sister, every single cat who has ever made you feel like this,” there was a fire in her amber eyes that made it clear to Ivypool why Mapleshade still hadn’t faded. “We’ll stalk this path together and every cat will feel the sting of our claws as we tear away everything that they love! We will scourge a path of pain so deep these cats will never recover.”
“I like the sound of that,” Ivypool meowed, unsheathing her claws. Before Mapleshade realized she pounced, digging her claws into the patchy tortoiseshell’s flank. There were times when she could see through Mapleshade- this absolutely wasn’t one of them.
“You crow hearted snake!” Mapleshade hissed. The old she cat writhed and thrashed wildly, shaking off Ivypool. Quickly Ivypool sprang back to her paws and rushed Mapleshade. “Die!”
Mapleshade’s fury made her strong and she bowled over Ivypool and pounced on her, claws slicing into Ivypool’s shoulder. Trying her best to ignore the pain Ivypool tore her fangs into Mapleshade’s foreleg repeatedly and began slamming her hind legs into Mapleshade’s stomach until the ghostly she cat’s grip loosened. Ivypool had no interest in a long drawn out fight.
Mapleshade was strong but the stench of death that clung to her was stronger. Ivypool saw her opportunity and went for her throat. She could feel Mapleshade clawing her flank with all her might; Hawkfrost was right. Mapleshade had no intention of dying twice. And I don’t plan on dying once. Ivypool was tearing into Mapleshade’s throat the same way she did her foreleg, over and over until her flesh hung in red ribbons. Mapleshade fought hard and lost.
Ivypool pushed her off and got to her paws and watched as Mapleshade staggered back and collapsed at the base of the snake-like rocks. “I meant everything I said, and I thank you for the things you said. You were right,” Ivypool meowed between deep breaths. Her shoulder was bleeding and her sides stung but she’d won. Mapleshade was quickly fading.
“I didn’t want you to die thinking that your words had fallen on deaf ears. But I also don’t want you to think this was personal; the conversation was but your death was business. This is a step towards a better future for me. I took no joy in killing you Mapleshade, but you needed to die.” It only took a few more moments before all that was left was the impression in the ground where Mapleshade once lay. And then that’s all she was; a few drops of blood and the faint outline of a cat in the dirt.
Chapter 19: She Used To Be Mine
“Can you maybe try and be a little gentler?” Ivypool complained, wincing as Hawkfrost unskillfully pressed cobwebs into her wounds.
“Well no cat told you to go let Mapleshade use you as a scratching post!” Hawkfrost objected, gathering up more cobwebs.
“I was fighting to kill her! You were the one who said she would fight harder because she’d already died- what did you think would happen?” Ivypool snapped. She hadn’t realized it then but Mapleshade had really done a number on her, and if she hadn’t had some cat to tend to her wounds she might’ve died from them in her sleep. At present her nest was soaked with her own blood the way it used to be when she lived in ThunderClan.
“Well it’ll only get harder from here,” Hawkfrost told her. “Next up is Thistleclaw.”
“Oh I can’t wait for that,” Ivypool meowed, flexing her claws. “I’ll rip him to shreds. That’s a rematch I’ve been looking forward to.”
“Mousebrain,” Hawkfrost meowed affectionately. “You’re not supposed to be enjoying this.”
“I’m not. But tell me you wouldn’t enjoy sinking your claws into Brambleclaw,” Ivypool told him. “Thistleclaw has been out for me since I set paw in the Dark Forest. I want every cat to see when I kill him.”
“Well they will,” Hawkfrost meowed. She paused.
“They will?” Ivypool asked. Hawkfrost stopped dressing her wounds and looked into her eyes. She could already tell she wouldn’t like what he was about to say, mostly because it meant he’d made a plan without her and was only just telling her. When he needs me.
“You’re going to kill Thistleclaw in a training exercise,” Hawkfrost explained. “You’re coming back to the Dark Forest, officially.”
“I’m doing what?” Ivypool asked, shocked. “I thought that our plan worked because I stayed in the background.”
“You can’t have thought you could continue to move in the background, picking off Tigerstar’s minions and no cat would notice did you? I let Tigerstar know that I’ve been able to find you and that you could still be useful, but that you needed to prove yourself. Prove your commitment to us despite being exiled.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“Thistleclaw doesn’t know it yet but you’re going to fight him. One on one, to prove you’ve got what it takes to really stand with us,” Hawkfrost meowed.
“And how am I supposed to accidentally kill him?” Ivypool asked. “Sneeze and slit his throat?”
“It’s a lot simpler than that,” Hawkfrost meowed, narrowing his eyes. “It’s a fight. Cats die in fights, especially this one. You know he’ll be eager to prove you can’t handle it and the only way he can do that-“
“Is to kill me in battle, right?” Ivypool accused, getting to her paws. She was still in a lot of pain and certainly in no condition to fight. “So this is some sort of unofficial death match, where we aren’t technically fighting to kill one another but he definitely wants to kill me and I have to kill him for you.”
“For us.”
“Hmmp. So at any point did you think to discuss this with me before you set this all in motion?” Ivypool asked.
“This is our plan Ivypool. You knew what we were going to do. What’s the problem?” Hawkfrost was confused; of course he was confused. Why would he understand what could be wrong with this?
“There isn’t one. When is this fight supposed to take place?” Ivypool asked. There was a problem, but she would archive it for now.
“In three sunrises,” Hawkfrost told her. “So we’ve got to get you stronger- because you can’t lose. I wouldn’t be able to watch you lose.”
“Thank StarClan I have your support,” Ivypool meowed dryly. Hawkfrost pressed his cold muzzle against hers.
“Ivypool, I know you can beat him. It won’t be easy, but you will win.”
… Ivypool rested in the sun outside her den attempting to enjoy the mice she’d managed to catch. Ever since her discussion with Hawkfrost a sunrise ago she’d devoted her energy to getting strong again and it had taken more than she’d anticipated. She was lucky that the mouse she was hunting darted back to its nest and her shoulder was still too stiff for her to hunt properly or else she would’ve caught it before it made it back and never found the young mice she was now eating. It was the best meal she’d had in many sunrises but she was much too distracted to really enjoy it.
She was lost in thought, mostly about how much things have changed for her. And how the conversation she had with Mapleshade was the first time she really felt like she had an ally, like she was able to really be honest. And that made her uneasy given how intertwined she’d allowed herself to become with Hawkfrost. Despite everything Hawkfrost was still keeping her in the dark, still making plans that involved her without including her and she was beginning to wonder if that would ever change.
“Mapleshade was right. And I still killed her. Now I’m alone again,” Ivypool sighed, forcing herself to take another bite. She didn’t really regret killing Mapleshade but she regretted the loss of the one cat who could understand her. And why was that? For Hawkfrost, for a plan that she didn’t even know. And she didn’t know because, just like Mapleshade, she wasn’t really his ally. He’d said he loved her, and maybe he did, but that clearly wasn’t enough.
“What is love anyway? I’m here alone, and he’s off with other cats doing whatever it is he wants. I’m alone. I have no one when he’s not around. I’m just like the island, and he’s my only bridge,” that hit hard for Ivypool. She had no idea what she could do to fix it either, because of the other truths. She was alone because she killed medicine cats. And she couldn’t even rely on Tigerheart because of the other truth- she was the one who killed his brother and lied to him.
Hawkfrost was truly all she had now. And she was carrying out his plans and assuming all the risk- and if something happened, if something went wrong what would he do? She was willing to bet anything that he had a plan to get his goals accomplished without her. “It’s time I started making plans of my own. It’s time I figure out what I want.”
Ivypool finished her meal and got to her paws. She looked out at the expanse of wild unclaimed territory in front of her, and then back at the twisted roots of the tree she’d made her nest in. She managed to collect enough moss to completely fill in the gaps and had even woven in some thorns like they’d done with the ThunderClan nursery, but it wasn’t home. She knew that she didn’t want it to be home. But ThunderClan…there was no way that could ever be home again. And the Dark Forest wasn’t a place that was anyone’s home, not by choice.
“I don’t know what I want; I don’t think I ever did. I don’t think I ever tried to figure it out.”
“You’d better figure it out if you’re going to fight Thistleclaw. There has never been a time when he didn’t know what he wanted with absolute certainty,” Ivypool nearly leapt to the treetops at the sound of another she cat’s mew. She whirled around and saw the ghostly figure of a blue-gray she cat standing before her. Ivypool quickly tried to regain her composure as she sized the intruder up; she hadn’t seen her before in the Dark Forest yet she still seemed familiar. Her body wasn’t covered in scars and there wasn’t hatred or loneliness boiling in her eyes, nor did she reek of death. Was she…she couldn’t be…a StarClan cat? She’d truly seen it all now.
“Who are you?” Ivypool demanded.
“Bluestar. I was the leader of-“
“ThunderClan before Firestar, I know. Why are you here?” Ivypool tensed her muscles; she knew all the things she’d done and didn’t put it past StarClan to try and get vengeance.
“You don’t have to be afraid, Ivypool. I’m not going to hurt you,” Bluestar meowed calmly. It did nothing to ease Ivypool however.
“I’m not afraid of you, I’m just aware. Not once in my life have StarClan bothered to speak to me-“
“Unless we have and you just never bothered to listen,” Bluestar meowed. Ivypool narrowed her eyes.
“Well then speak. You didn’t come all this way just to stare at me.”
“Actually that is a part of the reason I came. I wanted to look in the eyes of the cat who’d killed three of the clan’s medicine cats. Your actions liken you to Brokenstar; but he did what he did for power. Because he didn’t see the value in any cat that he couldn’t use. You? You are very different; and that is why I’m here.”
“Well I’m glad I didn’t disappoint the mighty StarClan,” Ivypool meowed dismissively.
“It seems you’ve got a quarrel with us,” Bluestar meowed.
“Aren’t you observant,” Ivypool snorted.
“Well? Go ahead.”
“What would be the point? Nothing will change.”
“Nothing in the past, no it won’t. The future however isn’t set in stone.”
“Why? Why Dovewing? Why did she get to be your chosen one and I, I got-“
“What did you get, Ivypool?” Bluestar took a few pawsteps closer to her. “You got what every other warrior got.”
“I’m not every other warrior.”
“I know. But you know something? Dovewing didn’t ask to be given the power she has any more than you asked not to. She couldn’t control the way she was born into this world any more than any other cat. The difference is in what you chose to do with the life you were given.”
“Why are you really here?” Ivypool asked. “Why now? Why come to me now?”
“Because you’ve allowed me to,” Bluestar told her. “Your life, your fate belongs to you. At the end of the day prophecies are just words open to interpretation. It is us who make them come true. With your actions you have done more to shape the nature of the clans today than Dovewing ever could. I could apologize for StarClan neglecting you, but in truth you weren’t neglected by StarClan any more than any other warrior who is loyal to their clan. It may seem like it because you can’t help but compare yourself to Dovewing, and it’s the same burden Hollyleaf had to bear.”
“Hollyleaf?”
“She was Lionblaze and Jayfeather’s sister. Only she wasn’t gifted in the way they were. You think you had it hard? Imagine being led to believe that you were a part of a prophecy only to find out that when StarClan said three, they didn’t mean you. After finding out that your mother wasn’t your mother and that your entire heritage was a lie. She snapped, much like you did. And she ended up alone, much like you,” there was a lot of wisdom in Bluestar’s mew that, for a moment made Ivypool long for the kind of kinship she could’ve had with Hollyleaf.
“Ivypool I don’t know the future that lies ahead of you, no cat in StarClan does. You’ve dived so deep into the darkness that your pawsteps have been concealed from us. But what I do know is that life offers us a second act. We don’t always recognize it when it appears; I hope that you do.”
Chapter 20: There’s Something in the Wind...
“Ivypool we only have a few moments,” Hawkfrost murmured in her ear, pale blue eyes darting back and forth around the dank clearing. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I don’t have a choice either way,” Ivypool grumbled. Cats were filling into the clearing, slinking out from the dead bushes and finding a place to sit. She didn’t know if they all knew what was going to happen- she knew for a fact the clan cats didn’t- but there was so much tension in the air that they had to know something big was coming.
“I bought you three sunrises- that was the best I could do,” Hawkfrost told her.
“Where is Thistleclaw? I haven’t seen him yet,” Ivypool asked.
“He’ll be here. He’s with Tigerstar and Brokenstar. Where I should be,” Hawkfrost meowed. “I have to go now Ivypool, but don’t say anything to any of the clan cats about any of this. Especially about why you were exiled,” he quickly pressed his muzzle into her cheek, something that was supposed to be comforting, and then he was gone. She was alone again, watching from the shadows as the clan cats begin to arrive. She saw Blossomfall and Minnowtail touch noses before finding a space next to each other. How lucky they are to be on that side of things.
“Ivypool.”
“Hawk- Tigerheart?” She hadn’t wanted to see him, not before this. But it was clear from the excitement in his amber eyes that he wanted to see her.
“You’re here,” he didn’t touch her but the way he spoke, the sound of his mew...it held such tenderness to it that Ivypool was tempted to cave in and return the feeling. But that wasn’t at all what she needed right now; she needed to psyche herself up. “You’re back- are you back? What does that mean? What’s happening?”
“Tigerheart...I’m not back. Not yet anyways,” she told him.
“What? What does that mean? Ivypool what are they going to make you do?” Tigerheart was so worried for her but she couldn’t let herself get distracted by that. She needed to focus all her energy on killing Thistleclaw.
“There isn’t time to explain. Go and join the other living cats- and for StarClan sake whatever happens do not intervene.”
“For StarClan’s sake? This must be serious,” Tigerheart meowed. “Are you in danger?”
“I’m always in danger,” Ivypool told him. “Please go. I’ll be fine.” He looked at her for a moment but he didn’t say anything. He dipped his head- a sign of respect- and then turned and forced his broad tabby shoulders out of the shadows and into the clearing.
… “Warriors of the Dark Forest! The time has come for one of our own to take her final steps towards proving her loyalty!” Tigerstar’s deep mew boomed around the shadowed clearing as he stood atop a pile of rocks making it clear that he still thought of himself as a clan leader. “Over the past few moons Ivypool has risen in the ranks amongst us, and now it is time for her to take her rightful place amongst our leaders. Ivypool!”
Tigerheart groaned inwardly as he saw Ivypool emerge from where she was waiting to the right of Tigerstar. Her stride was confident but he could see that living on her own had taken its toll on her and she was sporting a few healing wounds. He knew that the ThunderClan cats hadn’t seen her since she left and though they hid it were surprised to see her now. The Dark Forest cats were a different story.
Tigerstar’s favorites were seated beneath the rock pile while the rest were spread out in the clearing. They seemed to be placing themselves between the clan cats and Ivypool…just what was about to happen? He tried to catch Ivypool’s eye but she stared straight up at Tigerstar, and when he looked at Hawkfrost his face was unreadable.
“A lot has changed for you Ivypool. No longer living in the clans means that you have no place but here to call home. It means it is time you join us,” a cold chill went up Tigerheart’s spine. He couldn’t mean…no. There was no way Ivypool would march to her own death. His heart began to race. She didn’t say anything and he could guess that it wouldn’t have mattered if she did; this wasn’t something she could talk herself out of. Please StarClan, don’t let anything happen to her. I can’t sit here and watch her die.
“Thistleclaw,” Tigerstar began, “It is time.” Anxiety was prickling off of the ThunderClan cats, most noticeably Birchfall but there was nothing they could do, not without sacrificing themselves in the process. The vicious gray and white tabby rose to his paws with a look in his eyes that made Tigerheart’s stomach churn. He’s going to kill her. He wants to kill her.
“This is the way you prove your undying loyalty to us,” Tigerstar’s amber gaze scorched across the backs of the clan cats as he spoke. “With blood. This is the final step. Begin.”
Thistleclaw hissed something at Ivypool he couldn’t hear and then she attacked. Tigerheart bore his claws in the dead earth and watched as Ivypool charged at Thistleclaw. He lunged at her but she leapt into the air, landing just behind him and sinking her fangs into his tail. He let out a screech and rounded on her, swinging a heavy paw at her muzzle and missed; she ducked and avoided the blow, rolling away from him and was back on her paws in an instant.
Tigerheart felt a swell of pride; she was controlling the flow of the battle for now and that was a good thing. Then he looked at Tigerstar, who sat and watched intently, and at Brokenstar who looked all too eager to join in. Would he? Would they really let her win this fight? And would winning this fight mean killing him?
Now she was darting in and out, swiping her claws at Thistleclaw and then dashing or rolling away before he could react. She was faster than him, but he seemed to almost be letting her win…Then it dawned on Tigerheart what Thistleclaw was doing. He’d seen him do it before when he was training the RiverClan warrior Minnowtail and it hadn’t ended well for her either. Right when Ivypool got close enough to strike he exploded, crashing into her side and carrying her off her paws and onto the ground.
Ivypool! Tigerheart had to force his jaws shut to prevent himself from calling out to her. She’d asked him not to intervene but watching Thistleclaw tear into her side like a fox going at a rabbit carcass, his full weight on her so that she couldn’t get away, listening to her stifle her screams…he looked away and his eyes rested on Blossomfall. She had her tail wrapped tightly around Birchfall’s leg and Mousewhisker and Thornclaw had placed themselves between him and the battle. That won’t be enough to stop him. It wouldn’t stop-
“Fox dung!” he heard Thistleclaw snarl and Tigerheart instantly returned his attention to the battle as he saw him staggering back and forth, blood flowing from a long wound on his shoulder. It looked as if she’d been biting into it over and over again. But she was bleeding too, from deep wounds along her flank. The battle was at a turning point and it was clearly a death match. Thistleclaw charged at her in a full rage, bloodlust and pain driving the thud of each pawstep. Ivypool whirled around and slammed her hindlegs into his head with such force that he skidded to the side before tumbling over.
She raced to him- she was going to win! As soon as she did Tigerheart saw Brokenstar leap to his paws. I’ll kill him where he stands before he can touch her. Tigerheart let out a low growl and bunched up his muscles, but before he could act Tigerstar settled Brokenstar with a flick of his tail. The old ugly warrior grumbled something and then sat back down.
Ivypool’s jaws were now sunk deep into Thistleclaw’s throat and Tigerheart watched as he was barely able to move his paws to defend himself. His blood was staining her muzzle as he faded, slowly, until he was no more. Ivypool staggered back a few steps and then she turned her head to Tigerstar. She’d won.
But won what? For Tigerheart he was happy she was alive, but now she was even farther in than she was before, and it showed on the faces of her former ThunderClan clanmates. They’d gone from being afraid for her to being afraid of her. And in truth, he was too; not afraid that she would hurt him but afraid of what this all meant. Afraid that, at some point, she would truly become like those cats. Hawkfrost hadn’t moved a muscle the entire fight but now he did; he rose to his paws and called out her name. Slowly, the cry took up around the clearing until every cat but himself and the ThunderClan cats were celebrating her victory. This could be the beginning of the end for her. How can I save her from herself?
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:32:16 GMT -5
Chapter 21: So It Goes
Ivypool stood in the clearing surrounded by cats who had just watched her kill Thistleclaw. She tried not to think about that; rather she couldn’t. It took all of her energy to remain on her paws. Her body screaming with every step, she made her way to stand before Tigerstar, refusing to meet anyone else’s eyes. Though she was aware of another tom, had been ever since they spoke before her battle. She could feel the strength of his emotion the entire fight, had borrowed some of it and used it to save herself, and for that she would be grateful. “Welcome home Ivypool.” Tigerstar’s mew silenced every cat that was cheering her name and she looked up at him. There was no warmth in his eyes, no sense of triumph; he hadn’t cared what happened either way- he just enjoyed watching them fight. “Ivypool will now lead all the living warriors. You will answer to her, and if you get out of line,” -he glanced over at the blood stain that used to be Thistleclaw- “You will be dealt with. The time soon approaches that we make our presence known, but for now return to your nests.”
Quickly the crowd dispersed and for that Ivypool was grateful; she couldn’t keep it together much longer. Immediately she sensed Tigerheart by her side and Hawkfrost boring holes into her wounded flank.
“Tigerheart-“
“Where can I find you Ivypool? I’m coming to you,” he meowed, so full of determination and concern and anguish and love.
“Tigerheart, you can’t come to me without your clan knowing,” Ivypool meowed, energy draining from her battered body with each breath.
“You won’t last the night if I don’t. Where are you,” there was such a fire in his eyes that she knew he would try and find her on his own if she didn’t.
“Past the Moonpool. Head towards the setting sun, past a dead twoleg monster. You should be able to pick up my scent from there,” she told him. She closed her eyes. The last thing she heard was his voice: “I’m coming for you.”
“Tigerheart,” Ivypool meowed, her eyes barely open, “Thank you.” She knew that he was still asleep, knew it by the steady rise and fall of his flank, but she wasn’t really able to sleep. She’d gotten so used to being alone that sleeping beside him was almost foreign to her but it was also the thing she missed most. Not him specifically but the warmth of another living body, the connection of knowing that you aren’t alone. It made her heartache which kept her awake.
That, and the other thing he showed her; kindness. He was so kind to her, putting aside everything he should be doing to make sure she was okay. That was the thing that separated him from Hawkfrost, because no matter what Hawkfrost said he’d never done this for her. I’m to Tigerheart what Hawkfrost is to me. The thought made her coil away from him as if he were a snake in the grass. She realized how true it was; she’d allowed him to love her, twisted his emotions and used him to her own ends. She lied to him constantly and made him work for any scrap of affection, and when she gave it to him it came with strings attached. He doesn’t deserve that- and neither did I. Is that why I did this? To prove that…that I wasn’t a victim anymore? Maybe it was the lack of sleep talking or maybe it was the weariness in her bones but Ivypool needed to think.
Gently she untangled herself from him, glancing back at the mass of tabby fur in her nest. When she awoke from her fight with Thistleclaw he was there, wiping her wounds clean with fresh moss and then covering her in cobwebs. He’d stayed the night and now it was day- a whole new sunrise and he still remained.
She stepped into the outside world, greeted first by the cold and second by the fresh snowfall. There wasn’t much but it was enough to cast a spell of silence on the forest, silence she desperately needed. With Mapleshade and Thistleclaw now dead Ivypool was now closer than ever to helping Hawkfrost achieve his goals. His goals. His goals. Why is everything I do centered around him? She took a few pawsteps more and leapt up towards a low hanging branch. She could see the clans’ territory from here, now that leafbare had done away with all the leaves.
Mapleshade’s words stuck with her: “…We work and we give and we suffer and we love- we give them our everything and they just go about their lives because they can. They take everything we have to give like a bushel of ticks and use it fill themselves up and then they’re gone, on to be great and we’re left with nothing.” She could see now that she’d made that mistake with Hawkfrost, and as a result tried to fix it by doing the same to Tigerheart. But now she was beginning to think that things didn’t work that way.
“I will never allow myself to be in that position again,” Ivypool meowed. But I don’t know how not to be without becoming…Hawkfrost. Everything I’ve done, I’ve been trying to prove…that I can’t be taken advantage of by a cat like Hawkfrost, and I ended up becoming like him. Worse, because I didn’t even believe in the things I did.
Tired, she rested her head on the cold wood.
“Ivypool?” she glanced down and saw Tigerheart, concern in his mew and love in his eyes. He was strong and brave, yet he hadn’t intervened when she fought Thistleclaw. He hadn’t, even though he wanted to, because she asked him not to.
“I’m here,” Ivypool meowed.
“I can see that,” Tigerheart meowed, somewhat cheerfully. “What are you doing?”
“Watching. I can see the clan territory from up here,” she told him.
“You miss it don’t you?”
“Of course. I miss having a home Tigerheart. The only way the Dark Forest would’ve become my home is if I’d died in that fight with Thistleclaw, and Tigerstar knows it. What he did was instill fear in the hearts of every living cat who watched; they saw Tigerstar’s fiercest warrior step into her rightful place by his side. Which of course means at his feet, ready to jump when he says.”
“That’s not what they saw; at least, not what the cats who know you saw,” Ivypool perked up and looked down at him curiously. What did he mean by that?
“And what do you think they saw?” Ivypool asked.
“What I saw was an attempt to smother the light inside of you, and what made me afraid was that he’d succeeded. That your paws had become rooted down the path Tigerstar walks.” Delicately Ivypool leapt down to the ground so that she could face Tigerheart.
“Light?”
“Ivypool I don’t know if you know this, but the thing that makes me…love you is that there seems to be this never ending, never dulling light inside of you. I’m drawn to it, like a plant to sunlight. That’s how I knew they didn’t really get you. But last night was the first time I saw that light flicker. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but I’m not okay,” Ivypool told him. Sadness clouded his eyes and he touched his nose to hers.
“Yeah, there’s a lot of that going around,” Tigerheart let out a long sigh as he closed his eyes. She enjoyed being close to him. “Let’s go back inside; it’s getting cold.”
… “That’s enough!” at Ivypool’s command Breezepelt and Blossomfall sprung a part, each bearing the scars of their training session. Though he didn’t say so she knew Breezepelt hated her and she could guess it was because of the position she held over him. She’d been training the apprentices hard all night which was fine for her because truthfully she was still beat up from her fight with Thistleclaw and in no shape to fight. “Breezepelt you fight with your paws and not your head. Blossomfall…you just need more work. You still fight like a cat who thinks they’ll win instead of one who needs to win. Breezepelt, you can go.”
He cast a quick glare at her but he left as quickly as they all did when Tigerstar gave the order; despite all she’d been through she felt a certain rightness in her when it came to being in charge.
“Ivypool-“ with a flick of her tell Blossomfall immediately fell silent. In her eyes was fear and a yearning for knowledge- knowledge she wouldn’t give her. That was why she’d stayed away from her father; she couldn’t face him.
“I have a task for you.”
“What is it?”
“Hollyleaf.”
“What about her?”
“In two sunrises bring her to me. I’ll meet you at the Moonpool.”
“Ivypool how am I supposed to-“ Blossomfall stopped speaking when Ivypool gave her a stare. “Consider it done Ivypool.” Though she’d agreed Ivypool knew Blossomfall had a million questions.
“I’m fine Blossomfall. Don’t worry about me,” Ivypool told her.
“But Ivypool- you’ve been gone and then you killed Thistleclaw- killed him- and now…what’s happening to you? Where have you been?” Blossomfall was pleading with her and a part of her wanted to confide in Blossomfall, but Blossomfall wasn’t like her. So the most she could trust her with was this.
“I said I’m fine Blossomfall. Don’t worry about anything else. Just make sure you bring me Hollyleaf and you let no cat know. It’s important.” Blossomfall dipped her head. “Go get some cobwebs for those scratches.”
With that Blossomfall was gone and Ivypool was alone, for the moment at least. She needed to find Hawkfrost. They hadn’t spoken since just before her fight with Thistleclaw. With time she’d gotten good at sorting out the individual scents of the cats here from the overpowering stench of death and swamp and found it easy enough to find him speaking with a Dark Forest cat she didn’t recognize. When he saw her he dismissed the ginger tom and she caught a flash of his face- he was missing one of his ears.
“Who is that?” Ivypool asked dipping her head in greeting.
“Frothpaw,” Hawkfrost told her. She thought the tom looked small for a Dark Forest warrior.
“What did an apprentice do to get himself sent here?”
“Does it really matter?”
“I guess not,” Ivypool shrugged. “What’s next?”
“Excuse me?”
“What’s the next step Hawkfrost? Don’t play daft with me; I’m not in the mood,” Ivypool warned.
“Some cat dressed your wounds,” Hawkfrost pointed out.
“Not some cat. Tigerheart. And I’m sure you already knew that,” Ivypool told him.
“Where do you stand, Ivypool? Because you can’t go back and forth.”
“Are you serious? I killed Mapleshade and Thistleclaw for you and I don’t even know what your full plan is! I’ve done more and risked more for you than you have! Don’t start this ‘Can I trust you’ crap again!” Ivypool snapped.
“Look Ivypool, I’m sorry-“
“You know what Hawkfrost it has been a long few sunrises and I haven’t gotten much sleep and I have wounds on wounds that need healing so if you’re not going to talk business then we should just talk later,” Ivypool meowed, frustrated and exasperated. For a moment Hawkfrost’s eyes showed hurt, but then it was gone and replaced with that steely look he gave when he didn’t want you to know what he was thinking. “Fine. We’ll talk later.”
Chapter 22: Give It Back!
“Blossomfall what in StarClan’s name are we doing out here! You keep saying you scented a fox but I haven’t caught a whiff of anything besides us and WindClan!” Ivypool could hear Hollyleaf’s protest as she and Blossomfall drew near. True to her word Blossomfall had done as she’d been told, not that she doubted she would. Ivypool stepped out into the open from behind the bush where she’d been hiding. “I’m about to head back to camp and tell- Iv-Iv-Ivypool?” Hollyleaf’s incredulous mew was exactly the response she expected. It was also almost the exact one Hollyleaf received when she returned to ThunderClan . “Blossomfall, what’s really happening?”
“I asked her to bring you here,” Ivypool meowed, dipping her head graciously. “Sorry about that. Blossomfall you can go.” They both watched as Blossomfall quickly darted off back towards ThunderClan.
“You’ve got her trained,” Hollyleaf observed. “I wonder why that is.”
“In time you’ll find out,” Ivypool told her. “Can I ask you a question?”
“I’ve got a few I’d like to ask you first,” Hollyleaf retorted.
“That’s fair. Ask.”
“Why did you leave ThunderClan?”
“I don’t know anymore,” Ivypool admitted. Hollyleaf narrowed her eyes.
“Why am I here, Ivypool?”
“Because I need your help.”
“You need my help? I can’t imagine that I can help you,” Hollyleaf meowed.
“Actually, with Mapleshade dead you may be the only cat who can help me,” Ivypool told her.
“Mapleshade?”
Ivypool let out a long, weighted sigh. “I guess I’d better start at the beginning.”
… “I honestly don’t know what to say,” Hollyleaf meowed. Ivypool could tell that she was overwhelmed by the plethora of truth Ivypool dumped on her but once she started she was unable to stop, unwilling to stop. What she found in Mapleshade she had been searching to recreate and now she had. They’d walked through the forest, towards where Ivypool now called home and the sun was now high in the sky yet Ivypool felt she’d only begun to scratch the surface.
“I know. And I’m sorry for…well I guess for putting all of this on you,” Ivypool meowed. “But I don’t have anyone.”
“Not since you killed Mapleshade. Although it doesn’t seem like you had much of a relationship with her either,” Hollyleaf commented.
“I’ve never had a relationship with any cat, not a completely honest one,” Ivypool told her. “That’s why I sought you out. You lived on your own after all of the things that happened, things that you did because you couldn’t face what you’d done. But then you came back.”
“Well I didn’t kill two medicine cats but yes, I did do a lot of damage. And I did kill Ashfur. And then I ran away,” Hollyleaf told her. “I don’t talk about this.”
“Could you?”
“Living alone I had a lot of time to think Ivypool. I found out that I wasn’t a part of the three and that my parents weren’t my parents all in a short period of time. I felt like everything I knew was slipping away from me. So when I killed Ashfur in my head it was to prevent Ashfur from ruining what was left of my reality. It wasn’t until after I’d done it that I realized that nothing had changed. Killing him didn’t erase the truth it just created another lie and what I wanted…what I felt needed to happen was the end of the lies. The end of the secrets. So I told everyone because I wanted to hurt the ones who’d lied to me and I wanted to end the lies. But it became too much for me to bare. I ran away and then the tunnel collapsed and I…” Hollyleaf stopped walking.
“You’ve done a lot of horrible things Ivypool. When you were doing them, I doubt you thought about it. Some of them you did because you had to, some you did out of pain and anger, but I can bet that there have been times when you believed it would be easier for you to just run away and never have to look at it again.”
“Yes I have. But then I think… I don’t want to be alone,” Ivypool confessed. “I…I’ve done all these things and no matter what the reason I did them. How am I supposed to move forward?”
“By standing in your truth,” Hollyleaf told her. “That’s why I came back. Because living in solitude wasn’t a real punishment for my actions, it was me hiding from them. No matter how far you run you can’t escape yourself and being alone left me with myself. I realized I couldn’t move on with my life unless I returned, unless I faced the ones I’d hurt and the damage I’d done and the parts of myself I didn’t want to deal with. Like being Leafpool’s daughter.”
“So you think I should return to camp? Confess?” Ivypool asked.
“Honestly I don’t know. Like I said your journey has been a lot different than mine in detail Ivypool, and you’ve created quite the mess for you to clean up. You’re tangled up in something sinister with Tigerstar of all cats, and then there’s Hawkfrost- what is going on with that? Do you love him?”
“I thought I did Hollyleaf. I really thought I did,” Ivypool, crestfallen, hung her head as she spoke. She felt Hollyleaf’s feathery tail rest across her shoulders. “But now I’m beginning to see that I didn’t- couldn’t love him. I was dependent on him until he became all that I had. And honestly, he doesn’t love me either. He may think he does and this may be the closest he can come to loving but he doesn’t. And that’s killing me Hollyleaf.”
“Why?”
“Because so much of what I’ve done- basically everything I’ve done, who I’ve become is rooted in that dream: that I love Hawkfrost and he loves me. And without that…where does that leave me?”
“Exactly where you need to be,” Hollyleaf meowed. “You have had a more complex life in the precious few moons you’ve been alive than most cats get to experience in two life times. But I think that you questioning all of this means that you’re beginning to change, to grow. You’re beginning to take back the parts of yourself you’ve given up.”
“But what if it’s too late?” that was Ivypool’s biggest fear, that she’d done so much damage that it was too late to fix it.
“I think we allow ourselves to think that because we’re afraid that it isn’t too late. We’re afraid to face the things we’ve done and to deal with the consequences, so we convince ourselves that it’s already too late to make a difference so why bother? As long as there is breath in your body Ivypool it isn’t too late.”
“So you think I can be forgiven for everything I’ve done?” Ivypool ventured, almost mockingly.
“I didn’t say that. There are those that will never forgive you, and there are those that will forgive you but things will never be the same between you. Those are side effects of the damage you’ve done Ivypool. You can’t escape them,” Hollyleaf was gentle yet firm in her words and Ivypool found her wisdom to be exactly what she’d needed.
“And what do you do if that happens?”
“When that happens- and I want to be clear Ivypool that it will happen- you have to learn to forgive yourself and to move on. Allow yourself to grow past the things you’ve done that no longer represent who you wish to be,” Hollyleaf meowed. “Did you know that Blackstar was once Brokenstar and Tigerstar’s deputy?”
“He was?” Ivypool meowed, shocked. Although now that she knew it she could see it.
“He was Brokenstar’s trusted side kick and he did every horrible thing right along with him, and then when Tigerstar came to ShadowClan he helped him almost wipe out all the clans. And Now he’s their leader. That’s what I think about when I wonder about my future,” Hollyleaf meowed. There was a certain wistfulness to her tone that led Ivypool to believe she might want to be clan leader herself.
“So you’re saying if I want a future I should go to ShadowClan,” Ivypool was only half joking and naturally Hollyleaf picked up on that.
“Well I wouldn’t rule it out. ThunderClan is great, but it isn’t the most forgiving clan,” Hollyleaf meowed. “I think that’s Firestar’s biggest flaw. For all his talk about fairness he still separates cats into good and evil and isn’t able to look past a cat he feels falls into the latter, or their kin. That’s his biggest problem with Blackstar- that despite all he’s done he still got to be clan leader. When he looks at Blackstar he still sees the cat he used to be, just like when he looks at Brambleclaw he still sees Tigerstar.”
“And what do you see when you look at Brambleclaw?” Ivypool asked. It took a while before Hollyleaf answered.
“My father. It took a lot for me to realize it but he was my father in every way that counted. Crowfeather never was- maybe he could have been if he was given the chance but he wasn’t and he isn’t. But I know that Brambleclaw has trouble looking at me and not seeing what Squirrelflight and Leafpool did, not seeing the day that I told him the truth in front of the entire forest. That’s a side effect of the decisions I made and the ones they made,” Hollyleaf explained. “Maybe one day that will change but if it doesn’t? It won’t stop me from becoming the cat I wish to be.”
“Thank you,” Ivypool meowed gratefully.
“You’re welcome,” Hollyleaf meowed cheerfully. “Everyone needs someone to talk to.”
“I think I’m going to need your help with one other thing too,” Ivypool told her. “It’s kind of a big thing.”
“As long as I don’t have to kill any cats.”
“I’m not going to promise you that.”
Chapter 23: Change is a Powerful Thing
Ivypool sat beneath the stone pile waiting for the other Dark Forest cats to arrive. A quarter moon passed since her conversation with Hollyleaf and she’d had enough time to think that she now had a new sense of who she might want to become, and she knew that it wasn’t anything these cats were. But she also knew she couldn’t just walk away; that was the last problem she was facing. She couldn’t just run away from these cats and she couldn’t just pretend like the past few moons hadn’t happened, and that was the one thing that stood in the way of her future. “Ivypool.” well, one of the things. Hawkfrost’s cool mew betrayed nothing about how he felt about Ivypool or what they might be meeting about. “You look well.”
“I am well,” Ivypool meowed evenly. “Am I early? Tigerstar said to be here after they sent the apprentices home.”
“He and the others are on their way,” Hawkfrost told her.
“Good. That’ll give us time to meet later, when it’s just the two of us,” Ivypool told him. He narrowed his eyes.
“I can’t imagine you’d want to do a thing like that,” he meowed coldly.
“I didn’t say I wanted to. I need to,” Ivypool meowed. She could sense him getting anxious and he made it a point to stalk away from her and sit several paces to her right. Which was fine because she knew now that she had no allies in this place, with these cats.
A rustle in the bushes behind her signaled the arrival of more cats: Tigerstar thrust his broad shoulders into the clearing, the battle-scarred tabby tailed closely by his shadow Darkstripe. A few heartbeats later Brokenstar showed up, Clawface and Shredtail by his side. So this is the inner circle. That’s either pathetic or impressive depending on how you look at things.
“Let’s make this quick,” Tigerstar began.
“Aren’t we going to wait for Mapleshade?” Clawface asked. “I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“My plans wait for no cat,” Tigerstar informed him. “Ivypool, you will take Thistleclaw’s place and lead ThunderClan.”
“You mean lead the ThunderClan cats into battle?” she asked.
“You’ll lead ThunderClan period. You’ll lead the clan once we win the battle. Hawkfrost will lead RiverClan and Brokenstar will lead ShadowClan. WindClan’s territory will be divided between RiverClan and ThunderClan,” Tigerstar’s curtness aside there was something very appealing about leading ThunderClan.
“And where does that leave you?”
“I will lead the entire forest,” Tigerstar told her. The way he said it made it clear this was a longtime goal of his and she knew that she would never truly lead ThunderClan as long as Tigerstar was in charge of her. “The time of StarClan has come to an end. The Dark Forest will rule the cats around the lake and I will rule both the Dark Forest and the clans. We will wipe StarClan out alongside all those foolish enough to stand against us. Each of the current clan leaders will be killed once the battle is over, in front of what remains of their clan. It will be Brokenstar’s job to kill Blackstar and Hawkfrost’s job to kill Mistystar. You will handle Onestar Ivypool.”
“I take it that leaves Firestar to you,” Ivypool guessed.
“No one is to kill that mouse-hearted kittypet but me,” Tigerstar snarled. “For too long his illness has been allowed to spread throughout the clans and it will end at my claws once and for all. Now we need to discuss battle logistics. Brokenstar?”
The large battle worn fallen leader rose to his paws and began speaking. “We will attack all at once. Anything else will give the clans time to respond and regroup. We will hit multiple targets at once in each territory. We’ll attack their border patrols in small groups, drawing them out of their camp while the larger attack party invades the camp. They’ll be spread too thin for the fact that they out number us to matter.”
“Frankly I don’t trust the clan cats,” Clawface snorted. “They’re weak. Aside from this one none of them have proven their worth.”
“You shouldn’t trust them.” Tigerstar told him. “They are weak. Their loyalties are divided- only fear will keep them in line. That is what you represent Ivypool. They watched you kill Thistleclaw. You now lead them. It will be up to you to keep them in line and if they prove they won’t-“
“I’ll make an example out of them,” Ivypool finished. “I understand Tigerstar.”
“Then we’re done here. We’ll meet again the night before the attack and create battle parties,” with that Tigerstar left, vanishing into the shadows. Quickly there was only her and Hawkfrost.
“You’ll come, won’t you?” she asked. Hawkfrost looked like he wanted to object but she left before he could. She knew that he would come.
… “What do you want Ivypool?” Hawkfrost was standing in her den, his pale blue eyes glowing in the dark.
“I want to hear your plan,” Ivypool meowed. “I’m not a fool. There are two things that I now know: that Tigerstar can’t lead both the lake and the Dark Forest as long as he’s dead and that you still haven’t told me everything, and if I had to guess those two things are linked.”
“Why should I? Why should I tell you anything?” Hawkfrost snapped. “You Ivypool…you are unbelievable. You-“
“Hawkfrost stop it.” He glared at her as if she’d reached out and clawed his muzzle. “You are here because you want this, us. Our team. But you’re upset because you feel me pulling away and moving on, and you’re right. I am. And it’s your fault.”
“My fault? MY FAULT! How could this be my fault!” Hawkfrost shouted, his deep mew booming all around them. She couldn’t remember ever actually seeing him angry, angry enough that he’d lost his composure but strangely it didn’t make her angry or even afraid.
“Hawkfrost we were never a team. We were never equals. I was your pawn, a piece you moved to the front lines because you could stand to sacrifice me. And maybe at some point the way you felt about me changed but the way you treated me didn’t. So understand that the reason I’m pulling away is because of you. Because I refuse to stand by a cat who tells me he loves me and then gambles with my life without bothering to include me in the decision-making process. Who still is keeping things from me.” He remained silent the entire time she spoke and continued to be silent after. But she stared him down, demanded that he not ignore what she said.
“Ivypool, I did all of this to protect you,” Hawkfrost began.
“That’s a lie.”
“No it’s not!”
“Yes it is Hawkfrost and you know it is! Or maybe you lie so much you don’t know the difference between the two. You sent me to kill Mapleshade alone and then when I was done came and told me you volunteered me in a death match with Thistleclaw, completely changing the plans we had. How is any of that protecting me? Because it looks like you’re only protecting your interest in me,” Ivypool challenged. “And all of this is for some grand plan for you to come back to life but you haven’t told me that either. You didn’t tell me anything Tigerstar has been planning.”
“Ivypool-“
“Unless you’re about to be honest with me, really honest with me, don’t speak. Because I know for a fact that Tigerstar has a plan on coming back to life,” Ivypool accused. “He has to, or nothing he’s planning will ever work. And the only one he trusts at all, even a little bit is you.”
“Ivypool…”
“What?” Hawkfrost looked defeated; his shoulders sagged and his tail dropped, but she wasn’t about to let any of that weaken her resolve. There was only one thing he could do to earn her respect.
“You’re right. I know you’re right,” he meowed. Then he looked up at her, eyes pleading. “Can’t you see I’m trying?”
“Trying is no longer good enough for me Hawkfrost. Step up. Either we are a team completely or we aren’t. There is no in between,” she told him.
“I didn’t want you to fight Thistleclaw like that Ivypool, you have to believe that. But Tigerstar was the one who sent me after you- he knew that I made contact. He saw you as an opportunity to increase his hold on the clan cats. The fight was his idea, his and Thistleclaw’s. He didn’t care if you lived or died: if you died it would scare the clan cats into never defecting and if you beat Thistleclaw it would make them fear you. Watching you fight him was hard for me Ivypool. I wanted to do it for you. I would have died for you.”
“And?”
“Our plans have changed because they have to. But as long as we’re together we can adapt. So tell me Ivypool, are we together? Because I won’t say another word unless we are,” now it was his turn to be demanding and steadfast in his resolve.
“I love you Hawkfrost. I’ve always wanted to be together. I just don’t want to ever feel like it’s you and then there’s me. I want it- it needs to be you and me, equals,” Ivypool insisted.
“It will be. I promise you that from here until the end of time it will be.”
“How do you plan on coming back to life? What’s Tigerstar’s real plan?”
“After Tigerstar kills Firestar he intends to take the power of the stars into his own paws,” Hawkfrost began. “The Dark Forest will become StarClan, and with it the power to grant a cat nine lives.”
“But that can only be given to a living cat,” Ivypool ventured, the wheels in her head spinning. “Unless it can’t.”
“Our power is growing Ivypool, I know you know that,” Hawkfrost meowed.
“And he believes that receiving nine lives as a dead cat will bring him back to life?” Ivypool asked, not entirely convinced.
“That’s what he believes,” Hawkfrost confirmed.
“That’s what you believe,” Ivypool pointed out. “You actually believe that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean do you Hawkfrost, do you actually believe it, or are you just hoping that it will work?” Ivypool asked. “Because there’s a difference.”
“Ivypool I have to. It’s the only way we can be together,” he moved closer to her, crowding her emotional space. “I love you, but I know…I get it. I get Tigerheart. He can actually love you and you can actually love him. But if I’m alive…”
“We can be…us,” Ivypool’s voice was so much weaker than she’d expected it to be, because a part of her had bubbled to the surface. In that moment she found that there was still a part of her, a strong part of her that still longed for the thing he’d always promised but never been able to give her: him. “Hawkfrost please, please be sure about this.”
“There’s only one way to find out.” Hawkfrost meowed. “Which brings me to the next step of our plan: over throwing Tigerstar. We have to help him succeed in battle because it’s the only way we’ll have the power to make this a reality. I don’t want this to be a dream anymore Ivypool. I want us.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:32:52 GMT -5
Chapter 24: Just a Few Roots
Ivypool sat in her nest, waiting, too amped up to go to sleep. Her mind had been whirling ever since her conversation with Hawkfrost and she didn’t know what to make of everything but she was sure of one thing: that he did love her. “Ivypool?” Ivypool leapt to her paws and rushed out of her den at the sound of Hollyleaf’s mew. The sun was rising; Hollyleaf must have rushed here as soon as Hawkfrost left. “Oh, Ivypool.”
“Hollyleaf I’m fine. My mind is made up; that hasn’t changed,” Ivypool tried to sound convincing but she knew that she didn’t, knew from the look in Hollyleaf’s green eyes that she didn’t.
“She told me some of what he said,” Hollyleaf told her. “I know you two aren’t close but she’s…coming around. She doesn’t understand everything. She doesn’t understand what that meant to you.”
“I’m not acting with my heart anymore Hollyleaf,” Ivypool meowed with a little more certainty. “We just have to move as discreetly as possible.”
“I know. So does Dovewing. We haven’t spoken to anyone else- not even Jayfeather or Lionblaze,” Hollyleaf meowed, “Though eventually we will.”
“I know. But we have to play this as close to the chest as we can,” Ivypool meowed. “I’m glad that I’ve got you, Hollyleaf. I really don’t think I could pull this off without you.”
“I’m glad you trusted me,” Hollyleaf blinked her gratitude. “What is Tigerstar’s battle plan?”
“He’ll attack all the clans at once. He plans to divide and conquer, draw the clan’s attention out of camp so that he can invade each camp and take the victory,” Ivypool explained.
“Who can we trust?” Hollyleaf asked.
“Tigerstar doesn’t trust any of the clan cats because their loyalty is divided,” Ivypool meowed. “And for that reason, neither can we.”
“Ivypool-“
“I’m serious. It’s fear, Hollyleaf. Even if they aren’t evil, even if they don’t really understand, they’ve trained with these cats. They know how they fight. They watched me kill Thistleclaw; they’ve felt the strength of Tigerstar’s claws. They’ve seen first hand how vicious Brokenstar is. We won’t really know where they stand until the moment comes when they are tested,” Ivypool knew how it sounded but it was true. “But I’ll tell you who they are, so that we can be prepared.”
“I trust you Ivypool. We’re going to need Dovewing and Jayfeather to coordinate before and during the fight,” Hollyleaf meowed. “Dovewing will be able to see what’s happening around the forest. She’ll look for your cues and relay them to me so that we can know when to act and what to do. Jayfeather can walk in all of our dreams to connect us the night before.”
“I’ve done a lot of things in my short life, but this is by far the hardest,” Ivypool admitted. “I don’t know how things will go.”
“Everything you’ve done you’ve had to do until now. But now, if no one else, you have me. I’d like to see a cat who could stop this team,” Hollyleaf’s voice was full of confidence and positivity, like a leader. “When this is all over you’ll be coming home Ivypool. I’m going to go now.”
“I’ll travel with you, for a while at least. I need to speak with Tigerheart,” Ivypool told her. Hollyleaf gave her a knowing look.
“Are you sure?” Hollyleaf asked. “That won’t be an easy conversation to have.”
“I don’t intend to have it, at least not yet,” Ivypool meowed. “I will, it’s just…we need him. He’s the only cat I know I can trust. We need his support and we’ll only get it if I keep lying to him.”
“Then what are you going to talk about?” Hollyleaf questioned.
“I’m going to tell him about our plan. I have to at least include him in that.”
… “I knew it. I knew you were still you,” Tigerheart’s happiness was infectious to Ivypool, but it wasn’t because of her plan; it was because he thought that her having this plan meant that she hadn’t been lost. That the light he’d spoken of was still there. Perhaps he’s right.
“Tigerheart focus,” Ivypool meowed, only slightly annoyed. “This is war. We’re going to have to play this out until the last moment, and we won’t know who is on our side until then.”
“So it’s just me and you,” Tigerheart meowed, his eyes glowing with happiness. She glanced around the abandoned twoleg den. She couldn’t remember ever being here with him in the daylight; it was somewhat charming.
“No it isn’t. We have Hollyleaf and Dovewing, and all of the clan cats who aren’t in the Dark Forest,” Ivypool explained.
“That’s not what I mean. I mean it’s just me and you, fighting side by side. Watching each other’s backs,” Tigerheart told her. “You know once everything goes down the plan won’t be a secret anymore and at least the Dark Forest cats will attack us.”
“I’ll be proud to fight at your side when that moment comes,” Ivypool purred. And it will probably be the last time too.
“Is that all?” A mischievous look danced into Tigerheart’s eyes.
“For now, yes. We can’t take what’s coming lightly. This will be a battle that will change the forest forever,” Ivypool meowed.
“And after?”
“If we’re still alive, I’ll let you know.”
“Oh we’ll be alive alright. You’ll guide us to the other side Ivypool. That’s what I believe.”
… Ivypool hadn’t meant to but she’d fallen asleep with Tigerheart in the old twoleg nest. Now she had to make her way back to her den as the sunset, sticking to the outskirts of ThunderClan territory. Luckily she still remembered it well enough to do that, but the longer she remained the more she was tempted to head a little farther in.
She could only imagine how much things had changed since she left. She could just remember what the warriors den looked like, how the nursery smelled; she wondered if Ferncloud were still living in the nursery. There was so much clan life she could have missed in her time away, so much that could come to an end if she didn’t do what was necessary.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Ivypool stopped in her tracks. Dovewing.
“Thought? Dovewing you knew exactly where I was. You know where everyone is,” Ivypool meowed dryly. “What do you want?”
“Really? That’s how you’re going to treat me? After all this time? After everything I’ve done for you?” Dovewing snapped, getting angrier by the second. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you Ivypool. We were supposed to be sisters and you-“
“Existed in a different world than you,” Ivypool meowed. “We’re littermates but I don’t think we were ever sisters. I don’t think fate allowed us to be.”
“Fate didn’t make you kill Willowshine,” Dovewing retorted. “You did that all on your own.”
“And I’m sorry. I regret a lot of the things I did Dovewing. But I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I don’t need it. I need your cooperation so that we can prevent an even greater tragedy,” Ivypool’s tone was flat as she spoke with her sister, unwilling to get as caught up as Dovewing was.
“How is that you can bond with Hollyleaf but not even try with me? I’m not your enemy Ivypool.”
“You’re not my friend either,” Ivypool meowed. That was too far. “Dovewing, I’m not- we aren’t close. I know that you may want to be and it may frustrate you but it’s not easy for me to be close to you.”
“And why is that? What have I ever really done to you Ivypool? This can’t still be about this prophecy- I didn’t ask for this!” Dovewing shouted.
“When I think of you, I think of what I could have been. The kind of cat I should have been,” Ivypool admitted. “You’re like a reflection of everything I didn’t do. So it’s hard for me to be around you, Dovewing.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Dovewing urged. “Ivypool I don’t judge you.”
“It’s not really about you; it’s something I have to work on. And I am. I’m trying to. But I’ve only just begun, Dovewing. So this is where we are,” Ivypool told her. She wasn’t as emotional as Dovewing was but she meant every word, and she hoped Dovewing understood that.
“So what is that supposed to mean? We just don’t talk? We just, iust ignore each other?” Dovewing asked, sadness in her mew. “Ivypool you have to know how hard it was for me to know you were gone, even before you left the clan.”
“It’s going to take time Dovewing. But for now…I have your back. We may not be close but you can count on me,” Ivypool told her. Dovewing stared at her for a while, clearly processing what that really meant.
“And I have yours. Will that be enough?”
“For StarClan’s sake and for ours, it’ll have to be.”
Chapter 25: Here’s Where I Stand
“Ivypool with you will be Thornclaw, Blossomfall, Minnowtail, Applefur and Sunstrike. You’ll be a part of the second wave of attack after the Dark Forest warriors complete the first wave,” Tigerstar told her. They were meeting beneath the rock pile as Tigerstar had promised and come this time tomorrow the clans would be at war with the Dark Forest. “We’re keeping all the clan cats until the second wave of attack,” Brokenstar growled, his mangled tail flicking with delight. “We’ll wound them, then kill their spirit, then just kill them.”
“Well you won’t have to worry about any of the clan cats,” Ivypool meowed, stretching her white paws as she got up. “They’ll be ready to fight. And If they don’t, they’ll die like their clanmates.”
“Ivypool you have become one of us, and for that you will be rewarded. We all will. Power will be ours! The forest will be ours! Blood will stain the shores of the lake and we will pull out every drop with tooth and claw!” Tigerstar roared triumphantly, every muscle under his tabby pelt flexing with pride. He truly believed what he said, and so did the cats around him.
“With tooth and claw!” Ivypool called out. The others took up the call so reverently that it sparked a fire in her; Tigerstar was at least good at motivating cats. With the battle call still on their lips they dispersed and Hawkfrost trotted up to her, a fire in his eyes she rarely saw.
“I can feel it, Ivypool. We’re so close it’s radiating off me. You’ll have to handle Brokenstar once the battle starts,” Hawkfrost meowed, whiskers trembling.
“Not a problem. He’ll be heading to ShadowClan right?” Ivypool asked.
“He wants to take ShadowClan and he wants Blackstar to watch him do it before he kills him,” Hawkfrost confirmed. “The fool. He and Tigerstar think so small because they’re so self-centered. I used to think like that too; you changed that for me.”
Ivypool felt her ears run hot. “We’re going to change a lot more for you together. Just wait Hawkfrost. After tomorrow, we’ll never have to meet in this place again,” she cooed into his ear. And she meant it too; just not the way she once did.
… Ivypool awoke in her earthy den to the glowing green eyes of Hollyleaf. “It’s time,” she told her.
“I really hope Jayfeather can pull this off,” Hollyleaf meowed, letting out a concerned sigh. “We don’t have time for anything less.”
“I wish we did,” Ivypool commented, shifting her weight in her nest so that there was room for Hollyleaf. Hollyleaf blinked her gratitude as she settled in, doing her best to get comfortable. The night was only half over after all; there was another dream meeting Ivypool had to attend. Ivypool closed her eyes again, more nervous for this dream than she was for the last.
… “Jayfeather?” Ivypool called out the blind medicine cat’s name as she wandered around an unfamiliar forest. It was so unlike the Dark Forest she was used to spending each night in that it made her uncomfortable- green bushes, fresh water and soft, healthy earth under paw. Just where was she?
“We’re here Ivypool,” there was a faint hiss mingled in Jayfeather’s mew as the lean pale gray tabby seemed to appear out of nowhere with Hollyleaf at his side. He looks skinnier than I remember. More worn down. “Let’s go.”
Ivypool trotted up to them as they turned and led her out of the part of the forest she’d been in. “Can you see?” Ivypool asked.
“Aren’t you observant,” Jayfeather grumbled dryly. Hollyleaf gave her a knowing glance and they continued in silence, which was fine for her because she had enough to think about as it was. There were no brambles in this place and the scent of prey was strong as if there was a rabbit hiding around every tree trunk. She would have liked to have spent her nights training here.
“You don’t like me very much,” Ivypool observed.
“There isn’t much to like,” Jayfeather responded.
“As long as you cooperate,” Ivypool meowed dismissively. It wasn’t like Jayfeather had been friendly before and she couldn’t blame him for his attitude now.
“Isn’t that what it looks like I’m doing?”
“Do you think the they will cooperate?” Hollyleaf asked. Jayfeather stopped walking.
“That’s up to the two of you. This is your plan,” Jayfeather told them, staring daggers into Ivypool’s eyes. “They’re waiting for you up ahead.” Ivypool took a deep breath.
“I’ll lead us in,” Hollyleaf meowed, quickly brushing her tail along Ivypool’s flank. Ivypool fell in step to Hollyleaf’s right, Jayfeather on her other side as they crested the hilltop and came face to face with the four clan leaders, their medicine cats and Lionblaze and Dovewing. They were all watching her; Lionblaze was glaring at her as if he could set her on fire with just his eyes and Dovewing looked like she wanted to run up to her. Ivypool ignored Lionblaze and dipped her head to her sister.
“What’s going on?” Mistystar meowed, so familiar to the StarClan cat Bluestar that it was uncanny. “I’ve never been a part of a dream that didn’t involve StarClan.”
“Neither have I,” Onestar agreed. Lucklily he didn’t seem angry but curious which was good- it at least meant they would listen. I’ve charmed some of the most hateful cats this forest has ever seen into trusting me; I can handle a few self-righteous clan leaders.
“I wanted to thank you all for being here,” Hollyleaf began, taking a step forward. “I know this is unorthodox but what we need to discuss calls for just that.”
“Why is a disgraced ThunderClan warrior leading this…whatever this is?” Blackstar challenged, rising to his paws. “Don’t forget ShadowClan still has a score to settle with you fox hearts over the death of our medicine cat.”
“Blackstar no ThunderClan cat touched your medicine cat or any other medicine cat,” Firestar objected, rising to his paws.
“Is that why your medicine cat is the only one alive and well?” Onestar challenged.
“Before you speak another word,” Ivypool began, “The cat who killed all of your medicine cats is dead. I know; I killed her.” That earned her the attention of every cat in the clearing, particularly Lionblaze. For a moment she wondered if he would say something; he looked as if he needed to.
“Oh I want to hear this,” Blackstar sneered. “Speak ThunderClan cat.”
“The death of your medicine cats-as well as the attempted murder of Jayfeather- was orchestrated by Tigerstar and Brokenstar,” Ivypool told them. “Recently I killed the she cat responsible for their deaths; I had to. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
“Fox dung!” Blackstar spat. “What kind of a mouse brained fool do you take me for? How dare you stand there and blame this on a bunch of long dead cats-“
“Long dead cats gave you your nine lives didn’t they? Each and every one of you. Don’t underestimate the power of the dead simply because you live,” Ivypool interjected. “That is how they’ve been able to grow so strong.”
“They?” Firestar asked. “Ivypool I think you need to explain a lot more.”
“This has been a long time coming. There are cats- cats some of you may know, some you may not- who weren’t allowed into StarClan. They ended up what we’ve come to call the Dark Forest. It’s a place of death- no moon, no sun, no stars. No breeze to stir the dead leaves and no rain to fill the black sludge rivers. They have been surviving off of hate, refusing to fade away because they hold onto it so tightly; for most, it’s the only thing keeping them here. Recently they’ve grown more organized.”
“You speak like you know this place,” Mistystar accused.
“I do. I’ve been training there since I was an apprentice,” Ivypool told her, refusing to waiver. “I didn’t know it then but they were building an army out of the clans. A RiverClan warrior named Hawkfrost trained me- you know him Mistystar.”
“Hawkfrost was once a RiverClan cat. He started out loyal but with time he became power hungry and sought to undermine me and rule RiverClan for himself,” Mistystar meowed, her voice solemn. “It makes sense that he would be in a place like that.”
“He isn’t alone,” Ivypool continued. “There are others- many others. They’ve become organized under Tigerstar. And under him they began recruiting clan cats.”
“No WindClan cats would ever-“
“Didn’t you wonder what happened to Antpelt?” Onestar met Ivypool’s question with silence and a warning in his eyes. “There are cats in each and every clan who have been training in the Dark Forest. Most, like me didn’t know what they were getting themselves into in the beginning. I know you all have noticed the amount of unexplained injuries, cats waking up with blood in their nest, always tired.”
“She’s not lying about that,” Littlecloud agreed.
“I’m not lying about anything,” Ivypool meowed. “This is real. The threat is real.”
“What I’d like to know is how you’ve become so knowledgeable of everything,” Blackstar asked, “And how much of this Firestar already knew.”
“I’m hearing this for the first time just like the rest of you,” though he wouldn’t say so she knew Firestar wasn’t too pleased about that either.
“Tooth and claw,” Ivypool told Blackstar. “I had to earn my place with tooth and claw.”
“And what is your place?”
“I’m in charge of all of the living cats,” Ivypool announced. “It’s my job to make sure they are ready for the battle and that they stay loyal.”
“Battle?”
With a glance Hollyleaf took over this portion of the story. “It is the reason we’ve gathered here. Tomorrow, as the sun sets Tigerstar intends to attack the clans with his army of Dark Forest warriors and living cats with the intent to purge the forest of the weakness he says is destroying the clans. And we intend to stop him.”
“How is he going to do that with a few traitors from our clans?” Onestar asked.
“He has found a way to enter the world of the living,” Hollyleaf meowed. “He and his cats have been exploring our territory; it’s the scent trails that appeared in the middle of your territories’ and then disappeared, scents of death and carrion mixed with the scent of a cat long dead.”
“I knew I’d smelled Clawface,” Blackstar growled. “After all these seasons and with him being dead I thought it was impossible. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Because we need the element of surprise so we can win,” Ivypool meowed. “If we spent moons preparing just like he had he would’ve changed his attack strategy and we wouldn’t be able to prepare at all. It’s not much but we have a day. He plans to send in three waves. The first is a distraction- they’ll attack the border patrols to draw you out of camp then attack the camp and take it, separating you so you can’t fight effectively. Then he’ll send in the clan cats to crush your spirit with their betrayal, and the third wave will finish off whoever’s left.”
“Our plan is to act as soon as Tigerstar sets his plan into motion,” Hollyleaf announced. “We will send out our border patrols and the clan cats who are a part of the Dark Forest will go and join him. Then we will select cats- probably apprentices- to travel between the clans and relay messages. We want to stay connected so that we can support each other during the attack. We should also be ready to send out small patrols of warriors to each clan as needed.”
“It makes sense for the cats apart of the border patrols to support the cats from the other clans,” Ivypool meowed. “So make sure that they are able to meet up before they are attacked so they can fight together. And whatever you do, do not let them separate you. Stick together and fight as one.”
“You’re asking an awful lot of the clans with little more than your word to go on,” Onestar began skeptically. ”And I’d still like to know why Lionblaze and Dovewing are here. With the presence of so many ThunderClan cats I find it hard to believe that Firestar truly had no idea about any of this and that this isn’t some sort of power play for you all.” Ivypool looked to Jayfeather for this; she wasn’t a part of the three and it wasn’t her place to share their prophecy but it was Firestar who spoke.
“Along time ago, when I first became leader I received a prophecy from StarClan: ‘There will be three, kin of your kin, who will hold the power of the stars in their paws.’ That prophecy referred to Lionblaze, Jayfeather and Dovewing.”
“What is that supposed to mean, ‘Hold the power of the stars in their paws’?” Blackstar asked mockingly, his tail lashing back and forth.
“It means that we were given gifts by our ancestors to help combat the rising threat that is the Dark Forest,” Jayfeather meowed.
“You’ve already seen what I can do- walk in the dreams of other cats. This is how we are able to be here now. Dovewing is able to hear and see things happening from far away.”
“And by far away you mean...” Mistystar asked, her blue eyes locking on Dovewing. Ivypool watched her sister shift her weight on her paws uncomfortably. This was the first time she’d realized that the very thing that made Dovewing special, that drove a wedge between them and helped fuel a lot of Ivypool’s decisions was something her sister wasn’t even proud of.
“I can hear and see things from far away. That’s how...that’s how I knew about the beavers,” Dovewing admitted.
“So she’s a spy,” Onestar accused.
“No I would never! I mean I don’t spy on the other clans I swear it to StarClan,” Dovewing objected. “But it is how I’ve been able to keep up with Ivypool.”
“Keep up with Ivypool? So then the rumors are true- you were exiled from ThunderClan!” Blackstar declared. “Looks like we’re being led by two disgraced ThunderClan warriors. And here I thought you were the clan-almighty, bringers of justice.”
“Blackstar my actions are my actions,” Ivypool began, taking a step towards him. There was the slightest hint of a threat in her tone and he quickly pciked up on it, letting his claws slide out. “I was exiled from ThunderClan because of the role I played in the Dark Forest. Dovewing was able to see all the way there and knew what I was doing and she told Lionblaze, who exiled me from ThunderClan. Firestar had no knowledge of this- no cat did.”
“Lionblaze must be some cat if he has that kind of power in ThunderClan,” Blackstar meowed, locking eyes with the golden warrior.
“What’s your power? Undermining the authority of your clan leader?”
“My power lies in my strength,” Lionblaze countered. “I can’t be beaten in battle.”
“Even if I choose to believe all of this,” Blackstar meowed, disregarding Lionblaze with a flick of his ear, “Where is StarClan? Why have they been silent? Why are they not telling us this?”
“Perhaps they are, you just haven’t been listening,” Hollyleaf meowed. “Not just you Blackstar but all of us. Our ancestors don’t always need to swoop down from the stars above with a decree every time we need to act. We are warriors- we defend what we know to be right against any who should try and snuff it out. There may be a prophecy about Jayfeather and Lionblaze and Dovewing but it still requires that they do something, that they make decisions on their own. Our survival thus far hasn’t hinged on the whim of StarClan but on the strength in our bodies and our hearts! When we are met with challenges we band together and we fight harder. Tigerstar believes he can take this forest as his own- and given what I know about him he always has. And each and every time he’s been proven wrong. We will prove him wrong again!”
Even Blackstar was moved by Hollyleaf’s words as every cat in the clearing shared the same look of determination. Spoken like a true leader. Ivypool was filled with hope for the first time in a long time, real hope.
“So how do we win?” Mistystar asked. “My clan will stand against this enemy as it has stood against all.”
“These cats will be fighting to kill,” Ivypool told her. “We must do the same.”
“And what about our clanmates?” Onestar asked. “Should we kill them too?”
“We should at least know who they are,” Mistystar put in.
“They are afraid and confused,” Ivypool had thought long and hard about what she would say when this question came up, and she knew it wouldn’t be received well. “Some of them- a small group of them- may truly wish to fight on the Dark Forest’s side. But the rest haven’t been training because they are evil, and they’ve only stayed silent out of fear of their lives.”
“They should be afraid, but not of some dead cats,” Blackstar growled darkly.
“I will do my best to sway them when the time comes. But until the battlefield we can’t trust or distrust them. They will ultimately have to make that choice when it matters the most. We can’t risk that they won’t say anything ahead of time by confronting them now, and we can’t punish them because most of them haven’t really done anything yet,” Ivypool urged.
“So you won’t tell us who they are,” Blackstar meowed, narrowing his eyes. “Even though they might betray us. Just who does that make you loyal to?”
“I am loyal to my beliefs first and my clan second,” Ivypool retorted. “But I didn’t say I wouldn’t tell you; you need to keep them off the border patrols for our plan to work and you can’t do that if you don’t know who they are. All I’m saying is you can’t act; you have to treat them exactly as you would any other day, exactly as you have been their entire lives. That’s also why we waited until now to do this. It’s not easy to live a lie.”
“You would know,” she heard Jayfeather mutter from beside her. But no one else did so she let it go.
“Before the battle Dovewing will be listening to alert us of when the Dark Forest warriors will begin attacking. She along with your medicine cats will be here, in a shared dream. She’ll let you know when they’ve come so that you can warn your clan and relay any last-minute messages. Other than that...”
“When we meet again, it will be to defeat the Dark Forest,” Blackstar declared, his massive head held high. “That’s a promise, as sure as the sun will rise.”
Chapter 26: Didn’t We Almost Have It All?
Ivypool awoke to the feeling of a warm body by her side in the darkness of her den, and as she blinked her eyes she immediately realized something was off. This isn’t my den...where am I? She looked around at the thick expertly woven walls of thorns and moss surrounding her and the strong covering of lichen guarding the entrance. She could smell fresh kill...there were two silver fish a tail length in front of her. “Holly-” Ivypool stopped immediately when she saw that it wasn’t Hollyleaf’s soft black fur in her nest but the unmistakable dark brown tabby that was Hawkfrost. A chill went up her spine; there seemed to be something...different about him. Cautiously she approached him, sniffing him over...he smelled different. She noticed the steady rise and fall of his flank and could hear the faint sound of him snoring...was he...he couldn’t be...alive?
“Hawkfrost?” she called his name tentatively, afraid that he might actually answer. Gently he stirred, shifting himself in her nest to fill her vacant spot. “Hawkfrost!”
“What?” he grumbled, a groan building in his throat. His eyes opened to slits as he peered up at Ivypool. “Come and lay down Ivystar.” Star?
“Wake up Hawkfrost!” Ivypool snapped. He lifted his head.
“Hawkfrost? I haven’t heard that in a while; this must be serious,” he rose to his paws and touched his muzzle to hers. “Is something going on?”
“I...I guess I just wanted to be with you,” Ivypool meowed quickly. A deep purr emanated from Hawkfrost.
“Well if that’s the case you shouldn’t have gotten up,” he meowed playfully. “But since we are we might as well get the day started.”
She watched him quickly devour the fish in front of him and then offer the other to her and she declined. “I’m going,” Ivypool meowed, slipping between the screen of lichen and into- “This is the island,” Ivypool meowed, even more confused.
As her eyes adjusted to the late sunrise light she gazed around at where they were. She could hear the lake lapping gently at the shores and saw a full fresh kill pile a few tail lengths away. It was obviously greenleaf as the warm air kissed her whiskers and the high trees were in full bloom. They weren’t at the place where they had gathered but she could tell that they were close to it; there were several bushes around the clearing as well as a fallen log that she could scent contained cats. Was this her home?
“Ivystar!” her ears swiveled to the right as a young silver tabby tom with eyes as blue as Hawkfrost’s came bounding up to her bursting with energy. He touched his nose with hers and she hesitantly returned the gesture. “Are you going out today?”
“I-”
“Silverpaw!” she watched as the RiverClan warrior Minnowtail came bounding after Silverpaw. “I told you- oh, Ivystar.” she dipped her head in respect. “I was just going to take Silverpaw out for a training session.”
“Silverpaw you’re not giving your mentor a hard time again are you?” That was Hawkfrost, emerging from their den and standing beside her. She was hyper aware of his life and that the young apprentice Silverpaw favored him.
“Well no Hawkstar, I was just coming to see if I...” he trailed off, looking down at his paws.
“Just because you’re our kit doesn’t mean you don’t have to work as hard as every other cat,” Hawkfrost told him. His tone was stern but not scolding and Silverpaw looked up at them, the light back in his pale blue eyes.
“I know,” Silverpaw meowed.
“Go and train hard Silverpaw,” Hawkfrost meowed, this time resting his tail tip on his shoulders. “Prove to every cat why you’ll be the greatest warrior around the lake.”
“I’m already the greatest apprentice around the lake!” he declared, charging off towards the bushes behind him.
“Silverpaw! I swear one of these-” Minnowtail stopped herself and looked at Hawkfrost so Ivypool did too. “I should be going.” the pretty silver she cat raced after Silverpaw and for a moment she was alone with Hawkfrost.
“Who knew having kits could be such a handful?” he meowed, running his tail along her flank. “Wavepaw and Oakpaw don’t cause this much trouble. I swear raising the three of them is more work than ruling all the clans.”
“I guess that’s the part they don’t tell you,” Ivypool agreed, briefly touching her muzzle to his cheek.
“We should get going. We have a meeting with Breezepelt. Apparently WindClan is having an issue with some of its warriors.”
“An issue he can’t solve? Shocking.” Ivypool watched him walk away from her and his presence was quickly replaced with that of another cat. Bluestar.
“What’s going on? What is this?” Ivypool questioned, turning to the starry leader with a need to understand.
“Many times you have lamented that you never had a choice Ivypool, that you were tricked down a path you never would have walked if you knew,” Bluestar meowed, her mew gentle and sincere.
“This is a dream,” Ivypool realized. “Why would you show me this?”
“The things you wanted- the things you and he dreamed of are possible Ivypool. I’m giving you a choice,” Bluestar told her. “I don’t want you to have any regrets. I want you to be clear about the choice you are making Ivypool. I won’t stand in your way whatever you decide. That is what StarClan does; we give the cats we watch over information and allow them to do what they believe is right.” Ivypool wasn’t so sold on this.
“Why? You didn’t- I didn’t need to see this. I was fine with the choice I made- I already made a choice!” she shouted, rounding on Bluestar. “Why would you do this to me? Why?”
“Funny how often getting what we want turns out to be more of a burden than we anticipated,” Bluestar meowed. “You now have the freedom- true freedom to make a choice Ivypool. There was a time when StarClan presented me with a similar situation to make a similar choice.”
“And what did you do?”
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is I don’t regret the choice I made, no matter what came after it. Make sure that you’ll be able to say the same.” And with those parting words she was gone and Ivypool was left alone. Almost alone; she now had a whirlwind of emotion that had been drudged up from the graves she buried them in and were staring at her, waiting for her to deal with them.
She woke up, no more sure about what to do than she was before. I guess that makes me just like all the other cats. It’ll come down to that moment of action- I just hope I don’t regret what I choose. I can’t lie; it was easier to stand against Hawkfrost when I’d convinced myself that the things he promised couldn’t happen. But now…what if I miss out on the one thing I’ve known I wanted since the day we met?
Chapter 27: The Time Is Always Right To Do The Right Thing
Hollyleaf stood near the warriors’ den, waiting. There was tension in the air, so much tension that even the kits noticed. A day isn’t enough time to prepare for this, but it’s all we have. She knew that they all shared this concern but there was nothing they could do about that. But what we can do something about is stopping Tigerstar. That’s what’s important. Not for the first time her heart went out to Ivypool. The silver she cat was all alone in this. She was the one who assumed the most danger and carried the heaviest burden on her shoulders and, regardless of what she wanted, Hollyleaf knew that there was a part of her, a strong part of her that still loved Hawkfrost. But that was a battle no cat but her could fight- I just hope that she’s able to win.
“Hollyleaf,” her brother’s curt mew signaled his arrival as he and Dovewing joined her. “You feel it too huh?”
“It’s impossible not to,” Hollyleaf meowed. “It’s as if their eyes are etched into the camp walls and they are watching us, waiting to see what we will do.”
“They’re getting ready too,” Dovewing meowed after a moment. “I can hear them.”
“How can you trust her?” Lionblaze asked, anger clouding his amber eyes.
“It’s a little too late for second guesses,” Hollyleaf told him. “This is happening now. As for how? Because I don’t judge her for what she’s done, I judge her for who she is. I can’t; if cats judged me solely for what I’ve done I wouldn’t be able to show my face in this clan. Ivypool has done a lot of damage but she’s also been working twice as hard and risking more than any cat to make up for it.”
“And it’s still not enough,” Lionblaze growled.
“Maybe not for you,” Hollyleaf meowed, “But then, no cat lives to please you or earn you forgiveness. That’d be a terrible way to live don’t you think? Constantly yearning for approval from every other cat. What if you lived for the approval of Blackstar? You killed his deputy.”
“In battle. I didn’t stalk her in the dead of night and murder her in cold blood,” Lionblaze pointed out.
“Either way she’s dead and she was someone close to him,” Hollyleaf told him. “Do you think he makes that distinction? Would you if some cat killed Cinderheart or me? I believe that you have to do your best to right your wrongs. Cats will either forgive you or they won’t- it’s out of your control. It doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of your life stuck in that moment. You move on. If you did the best you could you move on; at that point, it’s their burden.”
“Well-“
“Lionblaze,” Dovewing meowed softly. She angled her ears towards Brambleclaw who stood huddled with the evening border patrol. Hollyleaf knew he was briefing them as they left; there were two patrols, one that would head for the ShadowClan border and the other would head for the WindClan border. Dustpelt, Brackenfur, Sorreltail and Leafpool were headed for the WindClan border; they had to make sure Leafpool made it to WindClan safely so she could support their new medicine cat. Berrynose, Hazeltail and Spiderleg would be headed for ShadowClan leaving the rest of the warriors to protect the camp. Accept Birchfall, Blossomfall, Mousewhisker and Thornclaw. I wonder where they will stand? She knew Thornclaw and Blossomfall would be with Ivypool’s patrol and be invading ThunderClan and Birchfall and Mousewhisker would be with Hawkfrost in WindClan.
She spotted them, slinking out of the camp, one by one. “It’s happening,” Hollyleaf murmured, her neck fur bristling. “War is on the horizon.”
“We’re going to win,” Dovewing meowed.
“I didn’t say we wouldn’t. But there will be a price- there always is. Some of these cats may not come back. Living as a warrior you always know that but I can feel the weight of it especially now, hearing what Ivypool said. Knowing what we’re facing.”
“I should go,” Dovewing meowed, making her way to Jayfeather’s den with one final look over her shoulder. As she did Hollyleaf watched the evening patrol’s leave.
“I forgive you, Hollyleaf,” Hollyleaf looked at her brother, the concern in his eyes brimming over.
“For what?”
“I just- I just forgive you. I don’t think I ever said it and in case I never get to- I forgive you,” she felt him shudder next to her as he let out a breath. She didn’t respond; Firestar strode to the high ledge, his head high. The time for last words was over.
“ThunderClan!” Firestar called, his mew weighed down with the gravity of what was to come. “War is upon us!”
Hollyleaf watched as the few who didn’t know what was happening scrambled to the center of camp and the rest stood at attention.
“Our enemy is one who has lied in wait for the opportune moment to strike, cats long dead who refused to stay that way. Our battle today is for the entire forest, for the warrior code, for each other and for our Lives! And we will rise to the occasion!” Firestar continued, though his inspirational words did little to fill in the gaps. “Tigerstar has been building up an army of hate to try and wipe out the clans and has been recruiting clan cats to help him further that goal. Now they are on their way to attack; but we are prepared! One of our own, Ivypool risked her life to spy on them and keep us safe.”
“Tigerstar? Tigerstar’s dead,” Mousefur called out from the mouth of her den.
“And we will make sure he stays that way,” Firestar told her. “This will be the last time he meddles in the affairs of ThunderClan. Our border patrols have set out to meet with the patrols from the other clans and face the challenge together. We will defend the camp and they will fall back here to be our barrier. We will protect the nursery; these cats are not warriors but rouges and murders. We will fight to drive them out of the forest- fight like rouges if we must but we will not lose!”
… “Warriors of the Dark Forest!” Tigerstar’s bristling mew boomed around the death-soaked clearing as he addressed the cats beneath him, amber eyes gleaming with hunger. Hunger for blood. “The time has come for you to prove your worth to me! You will fight at my side and we will take the forest, and we will kill any who dare oppose me!”
Tigerheart glanced around the clearing at the mass of cats, more Dark Forest cats than he’d ever seen hung onto Tigerstar’s every word. It made him uncomfortable; he didn’t know which of these cats he could trust. He looked around at his clanmates; anyone of them could be genuine in their support of Tigerstar. And I’ll stop them if they are.
“We are stronger than they are! We are better than they are! And we will prove it! And any cat who dares think of betraying us,” now Tigerstar was speaking directly to the clan cats, his gaze like fire, “Will die with their pathetic clanmates.”
“Tooth and Claw!” he heard the cry come from Brokenstar who stood at the base of the rockpile and it was quickly taken up by another and swept through the crowd like wildfire. Tigerheart joined in, though he noticed some of the clan cats weren’t as devoted as the dead cats. But where was Ivypool? He hadn’t seen her since he arrived and she wasn’t with Tigerstar’s elite warriors- and neither was Hawkfrost. Tigerheart’s heart dropped.
There was no reason for them to not be here and he knew Ivypool was planning to betray him- what if he’d found out? He would kill her. It would explain why Tigerstar didn’t seem to be phased by their absence- no. Ivypool is fine. I know she is. If she’s not here she will be here when it matters most.
“It is time! Now we fight!”
… “Firestar!” Dovewing shouted, bursting out of the medicine cat’s den. “They’ve breached our borders and are heading for the border patrols. They’ve already made contact with RiverClan and ShadowClan.”
“And?” every cat looked to Dovewing, Hollyleaf included.
“The RiverClan patrol is fighting alongside ShadowClan. They’re holding them off- they just made contact with our border patrol!” Dovewing exclaimed. Hollyleaf was barely able to stand still. She looked around the camp; the nursery was a wall of brambles and thorns and she knew somewhere in the dark Ferncloud and Brightheart stayed close, protecting the kits. Every other cat was placed around the clearing, bodies tense ready for action.
“The WindClan cats have joined the battle alongside our warriors.”
“What about Leafpool? Did she make it to their camp?” Hollyleaf asked urgently. Dovewing fell silent for a moment.
“She’s almost there now. No one in the camp is injured yet- there’s a patrol of cats headed for us now!”
“Then now is our time!” Firestar yowled. “Graystripe, Lionblaze, Cloudtail, Hollyleaf, Cinderheart, Foxleap you’re with me. We’ll keep them busy outside of the camp. Everyone else protect our camp! Our nursery is our top priority.” Without thinking Hollyleaf’s paws were moving as she fell in step beside her brother, following their leader into the forest. They streamed out of the camp entrance so determined they were silent and formed a line outside the bushes in front of the camp. The sun had almost set, bathing the forest in a beautiful reddish-purple hue. What a sight for the battle of our lives.
With a flick of Firestar’s ears’ they dispersed, slipping into the bushes and undergrowth, ready to attack when he gave the signal. Just he, Graystripe and Cloudtail remained. Hollyleaf slithered her way up a nearby oak tree knowing her clanmates were doing the same, preparing to rain down on their enemies like falcons from the skies above.
In the ever-growing darkness she was able make out the glowing white pelt of Cloudtail. She could scent a stench that grew stronger with each passing heartbeat, the scent of death. A shriek split the air.
“ThunderClan!” As soon as she heard Firestar’s call she leapt in unison with her clanmates, descending on the onslaught of dark forest cats with all her weight. She landed atop two toms who barely had enough time to look up. Satisfaction fueled her muscles as she sank her claws into one of their shoulders and both of their legs buckled underneath them and they crashed into the ground, screeching in pain. Fangs sank into her tail and she whirled around in anger, making sure to tear more rotting flesh as she pulled her claws out of the black tom beneath her to face her attacker.
She pounced on the ragged snarling gray tom, clawing at his muzzle and slicing his cheek open. She caught a glimpse of Cloudtail grappling with a large jet-black cat, his white fur matted with patches of red. Icecloud and Whitewing fought side by side, clawing in step at three cats who had them back against a tree. Hollyleaf screeched in pain as her attacker tore into her belly, sliding under her like a rat and raking his claws across her. It stung but it wouldn’t slow her down.
She caught his hindleg in her jaws as he tried to get away and with a mighty heave hauled him back; she heard him scream in sync with the thud of his head when it hit the ground. She turned her attention away from him, knowing he was beaten. She saw Cloudtail again only this time it was just his ear; the rest of him was covered by two toms. She raced to his aid and was bowled over by a large gray and white cat, hateful beady eyes glaring at her and fangs dripping with blood.
“You’re next,” he snarled, diving straight for her throat. She lunged upward and caught his jaw with her own, sinking her fangs into him until she tasted blood. He howled and tried to shake her off but she refused to let go.
“They’re in the camp!” she didn’t know which warrior sounded the alarm but she instantly released the tom and slammed her paw into his foreleg, nocking him off his paws. She raced for the camp and was stopped by Firestar. Her leader was bleeding from several different places but there was a renewed fire in his green eyes that said he wasn’t beaten.
“Form a line and hold it!” he commanded. She stood by his side and so did Graystripe. She watched Lionblaze tousling over and over with a smaller bloodied cat before he let him go and rushed to join them. But where were the others? Foxleap rushed to them, panting and bruised.
“Icecloud and Whitewing had to carry Cloudtail back into camp,” he meowed.
“Stand by us and fight,” Firestar ordered. She spotted Cinderheart who looked worse for ware, moving to stand by Lionblaze. “Attack!”
As one they surged, slicing and clawing at any cat who came close and refusing to budge. But the Dark Forest cats were resilient and continued to press forward. Hollyleaf gritted her fangs. We can’t hold them off.
“Firestar!” as if StarClan had summoned them it was the WindClan and ThunderClan patrol, descending on the Dark Forest cats and trapping them between the two groups of warriors. Dustpelt, Brackenfur and Sorreltail joined the battle alongside Weaselfur, Heathertail and Gorsetail. Seeing them renewed Hollyleaf’s spirit and she fought harder, slicing the broad face of an ugly ginger cat and then pouncing on another, pummeling her hind paws into his flank and raking out great clumps of fur.
“They’re falling back!” Graystripe’s victorious mew rallied her clanmates as they continued their assault on the rapidly thinning tide of Dark Forest warriors. With a few final swipes the last of them turned tail and ran; for the moment at least, they’d won.
They all stood panting heavily, wounded, bruised and bleeding. No cat had escaped the battle unscathed, but they were all still standing, ready to keep fighting.
“Any cat severely injured head straight to Jayfeather. Everyone else stay sharp; for the moment we have a break but our enemy won’t relent until we’ve chased them all off our territory.” Weary Hollyleaf followed Firestar into camp. She’d never fought against so many cats in her life and this was only just the beginning. Ivypool should be here soon. StarClan protect her- we need her, more than she may know.
Chapter 28: The Right Thing Is The Right Thing
“Tigerheart what are you doing?” Icewing’s frightened mew was accentuated by her white fur fluffed out so that she looked twice her size. “We have to fight for them! They will kill us!”
Tigerheart looked around him at the group of living cats he’d led away from the battle, at least for the moment. They were supposed to be attacking WindClan; the first wave of Dark Forest cats was still at it, their snarls and screeches echoing throughout the moors. “We have to protect our clans and the warrior code. If we die doing so, it’ll be as warriors, just like we were raised."
“Tigerheart-“
“Harespring, I’ll make this simple. Choosing to fight for the Dark Forest now means your own death. Maybe not in this battle but after. If we aren’t living as warriors loyal to our clans we are as good as dead,” Tigerheart told him, staring him down until the brown and white warrior dipped his head.
“So what do we do?”
“We fight for our clans!” Tigerheart shouted. “Now!” Tigerheart took off heading straight for the WindClan camp, the living Dark Forest trainees hot on his heels. His heart thudded with the heat of battle as he led the charge to right the wrongs they’d done by ever training with the Dark Forest.
“Traitor!!” A heartbeat later Tigerheart was carried off his paws by the jet-black warrior Breezepelt. The two tumbled over for a moment before Tigerheart was able to regain his paws, staring him down. “I’ll do to you what Ivypool did to Thistleclaw,” he snarled.
“You can try,” Tigerheart bared his fangs at Breezepelt; clearly he’d made his choice. “Go! Go and fight and protect the clans! I’ll deal with him.” Tigerheart leapt for Breezepelt and landed just beside him, sinking his fangs into his flank and slamming his hind legs into Breezepelt’s. The black tom buckled under the force of his blow and went down hard into the grass, slashing his claws at Tigerheart’s shoulder.
“You’ll be crowfood by sunrise,” Breezepelt hissed, writhing back and forth until he was able to dislodge Tigerheart. But Tigerheart didn’t let him get away. He hooked his claws into Breezepelt’s hindleg and unbalanced him. When the WindClan warrior rounded on him he stepped out of his way and lunged for his shoulder, sinking his fangs in. His mouth filled with blood and he began pummeling Breezepelt’s hindleg with his hind paws, landing several hard blows.
Silently he thanked Ivypool; she was the one who taught him during their many nights of training how effective it can be to concentrate your attacks on one area. Each time Tigerheart went for Breezepelt’s hind leg he got weaker, slower, more uncoordinated. But Breezepelt had caught on and was now doing his best to guard his leg.
“You chose the Dark Forest. You chose wrong,” Tigerheart snarled. He charged at Breezepelt head on. Breezepelt tried to dodge but his leg faltered a bit and he stumbled. Tigerheart caught his muzzle with a heavy blow, exposing his neck and he went for it, sinking his fangs in deep and shaking his head back and forth wildly. He could feel Breezepelt flailing against his shoulders, claws clumsily scraping through his fur-
Long claws dug into Tigerheart’s flank and he shrieked in pain. Instantly he let go of Breezepelt and came face to face with the battle torn muzzle of Brokenstar, dragging his claws down Tigerheart’s sides and leaving trails of blood in their wake.
“Not surprising you’d be a traitor too. Following behind your little lover Ivypool,” Brokenstar growled, his splintered fangs dripping with blood.
“Where is Ivypool?” Tigerheart snapped, his neck fur bristling.
“If you care so much I’ll send you to her,” a twisted smile morphed the vengeful cat into something almost demonic and Tigerheart couldn’t help himself- he went straight for the attack.
“Where is Ivypool!” he yowled, slashing his claws at Brokenstar. He knew Brokenstar was egging him on as he dodged each of Tigerheart’s blows and his anger and his need for answers made him sloppy. Frustrated he tackled Brokenstar and felt the sting of the skilled dark warrior’s claws rake his ears. Focus.
“You know I wasn’t surprised Ivypool was able to fool Tigerstar and Hawkfrost- she even caught my attention. But you? I know soft when I see it. Blackstar must have really fallen off; you would have never made it in my ShadowClan,” Brokenstar taunted. This time Brokenstar went on the attack, driving Tigerheart closer and closer to the stream that separated ThunderClan from WindClan with well-aimed blows. But Tigerheart wasn’t going to let him get the better of him. He waited, making sure to dodge just enough that his claws did nothing more than graze his shoulders then exploded with action thrusting all of his weight at Brokenstar’s raised paw and carrying him off his paws.
He heard Brokenstar grunt but he didn’t let up and began clawing out great clumps of his dark fur and sending showers of blood staining the nearby rocks.
“You-“ fangs sank into Tigerheart’s scruff and he was overwhelmed with the stench and rage of Breezepelt as the black warrior hauled him off Brokenstar. Quickly Brokenstar got to his paws and charged at Tigerheart, tearing his claws into Tigerheart’s side as Breezepelt held him down. The pain was intense but Tigerheart wouldn’t stop fighting and he tore back and forth wildly trying to dislodge Breezepelt, but he could feel Breezepelt’s fangs sink deeper in as he went for the kill.
With a mighty heave Tigerheart forced himself up with Breezepelt still clinging to his back- and was knocked back down by Brokenstar. The two toms were all over him snapping and clawing at him- he hard a sharp crunch and one of them was gone. For a moment everything stopped; "Ivypool."
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:33:12 GMT -5
Chapter 29: No Regrets
“Ivypool,” Tigerheart meowed, happiness making him forget about his wounds as he got to his paws. “I knew you weren’t dead.” “You both deserve to be dead,” Brokenstar snarled, glaring them both down. He still had his claws in Tigerheart but Tigerheart knew as sure as he saw Ivypool standing there that together, they could take him down.
“I’d like to see you try,” Ivypool hissed, her fangs a flash of white as she tackled Brokenstar to the ground. Immediately Tigerheart got to his paws and stood by Ivypool as she sprung apart from Brokenstar.
“When you fought Thistleclaw I wanted to fight with you,” Tigerheart meowed, “And now I get to.”
“You’ll need to if you think you’ll beat me,” Brokenstar growled, hateful eyes as fierce as his claws.
“I’ll go high if you go low,” Ivypool told Tigerheart.
“Let’s do it,” Tigerheart agreed, new energy flooding through his wounded body as he crouched down. Brokenstar let out a fierce cry as he charged at them both. Ivypool rolled to the side while Tigerheart met him head on, Grappling with the vicious dead warrior. Brokenstar’s claws dug into his forelegs but only for a moment. Ivypool launched herself at Brokenstar, sinking her fangs into his spine and pulling him backwards as she landed opposite him. Tigerheart dived for his exposed belly, slamming into it with his head and knocking him off his paws.
Brokenstar caught him on his side and Tigerheart felt his claws slice deeper into the wound he got earlier and he cried out in pain, falling back. Ivypool was next to him. “I thought you said you wanted to fight with me? Keep up,” she teased, darting in at Brokenstar. Tigerheart followed closely and then slipped around her as she ripped into his shoulder with her claws, barely avoiding his yellow fangs aimed at her neck. Tigerheart used the moment to wrestle his way under Brokenstar and pushed up, launching him into the air. He watched as Ivypool followed, both her front paws hooked into his chest. He bit into her shoulder and she ripped down, turning his decaying flesh into dangling strips dripping blood. He crashed to the ground spitting hatred and venom at them, but not for long.
“Die, just like Thistleclaw. And Mapleshade,” Ivypool meowed, glaring at Brokenstar. He looked at Ivypool, covered in Brokenstar’s blood and bleeding from the wound on her shoulder and one on her belly. I love her. I’ve never met a cat like her, a warrior able to be so vicious in battle yet so gentle when it counts.
“What?” she asked, staring at him.
“I love you,” he meowed, somewhat out of breath. “I just do.” Tigerheart was so consumed in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed that Brokenstar faded; but what came next changed all of that.
“It was me, Tigerheart.”
“What?”
“It was me. I…I did it. I was the…the medicine cats. That was me.” Tigerheart’s blood ran cold, ice cold. In that moment he began to hear rushing water; what was happening?
“What do you mean it was you? What are you…Ivypool. Ivypool. What are you saying?”
“Tigerheart-“
“NO. What are you saying, Ivypool?” he took a menacing step towards her, trembling with anger. His voice shook. “What are you saying Ivypool? What? Are you saying- are you saying you, you, you, you did…”
“I killed them, Tigerheart,” for a moment he lost himself- he couldn’t see, didn’t know what was happening or where he was…all there was, all that was on his mind was that night at the gathering. When he cried, and she was there for him. And she said…
“You said you didn’t know!” he realized he had her pinned to the ground, fangs bared and claws at her throat. “I asked you and you told me it wasn’t you! But you- you lied to me! You told me you loved me and you killed him! You killed my brother! You killed him!”
She didn’t say anything. She stared up at him, blue eyes full of acceptance. “You won’t even deny it! You- you disgusting piece of-” he could feel his heart racing and his mind was blanking again. He lunged for her- she had to die. She needed to die. But she didn’t.
He blinked his eyes, a tear falling onto her throat. He could taste her fur he was so close, could feel her flesh beneath his fang. But he couldn’t kill her. He hated this cat, hated her with every drop of blood in his body. He let her go.
She got to her paws and he could see it in her eyes that she was sorry, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing she could do to undo what she did. He turned and left, headed for his home. He may not have killed her, but as far as he was concerned she was dead to him.
… Back inside camp Hollyleaf was happy to find that there hadn’t been another wave of Dark Forest cats while she was gone. That didn’t mean things got better; but at least for now, things looked a lot better in ThunderClan than they did in ShadowClan. She was tired though- this needed to end soon. Fighting into the night wasn’t- “Dovewing? Dovewing!” Hollyleaf called after the gray she cat as she took off out of camp, terror filling her eyes. Hollyleaf followed her and caught up with her just outside of the stone hollow.
“What’s going on?” Hollyleaf asked. “Who needs help?”
“Ivypool! It’s Ivypool!” a panicked Dovewing shouted. “I have to get to her! She’s being attacked by Tigerheart!”
“Tigerheart?” that could only mean one thing: that he knew. Hollyleaf hoped that she’d been the one to tell him. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?” Fox Dung! They’d been so preoccupied with Ivypool that they didn’t notice the approaching Dark Forest warriors, fresh and ready to battle. A lean battle scared dark gray tabby sneered as he stepped out of the shadows. More Dark Forest cats joined him, forming a menacing, snarling line. “It’s about time we ended that kittypet’s reign.”
Hollyleaf bared her fangs at him. “Dovewing, raise the alarm. When I create an opening, run.”
“Intruders!” Dovewing yowled as soon as Hollyleaf launched herself at the dead warrior. He bowled her over and sliced open her shoulder, and the Dark Forest warriors attacked. They were streaming past her, a wave of decay and hatred as she tried to get to her paws. But the tabby was right there, clawing out her black fur. She twisted and turned trying to escape his blows and managed to roll away but before she could fully regain herself he was on her back, claws hooked into her shoulders.
“You should’ve stayed in your nest kittypet. Now you’ll never get to see your precious leader again,” his rank breath filled her nostrils as she tried to shake him off. Thinking quickly she tossed herself on her side, crushing his paws between her and the ground. He let out a yelp and let go and she scrambled to her paws and faced him down. Where was Dovewing? Most of the Dark Forest cats were gone and she couldn’t see her anywhere.
Fast as a snake he was next to her, raking his claws down her side. Swallowing the pain she whirled on him and pounced, pinning him down. She raked her hind claws down his flank, tearing into his flesh through his thin fur. Aiming a final blow at him she let him go, knowing she was needed in camp.
Hollyleaf pushed her way through the Dark Forest cats, slashing and biting at any who got in her way until she made it back into camp- and was greeted with chaos.
Caterwauls and pain stricken cries echoed off the stone walls as her clanmates battled with the overwhelming number of Dark Forest cats. She saw Icecloud dragging herself towards the medicine cat’s den with several deep scarlet wounds laced across her back. Lionblaze was grappling with two warriors by the far wall; she knew he wouldn’t need her help. She heard footsteps behind her and whirled around, fangs bared and claws outstretched- and came face to face with Blossomfall.
She was followed closely by Mousewhisker and Birchfall, each bearing scars from battle. Hollyleaf hissed at them.
“If you’re not here to fight alongside your clanmates, then you’re better off dead,” she threatened, studying each of them to see who would move first.
“We were wrong to train in the Dark Forest,” Birchfall meowed. “We fight for our clanmates!”
“Then do it!” Hollyleaf ordered. “We need you!” The three of them split up and headed into battle. Hollyleaf looked around for Firestar- and spotted him fighting his way up towards his den, Graystripe and Sandstorm nearby. She raced over to his side, dodging the fading body of a fallen Dark Forest warrior.
Hollyleaf instantly launched herself on the back of a ginger cat grappling with Firestar and tore into his back with her fangs, shaking her head wildly. Firestar slashed at his shoulders and the tom yowled in pain. She let him go and he ran off, bleeding and terrified.
“Go to the nursery! We’re moving the kits and queens to my den!” He ordered before diving back into battle. Hollyleaf spotted what was left of the nursery as a group of Dark Forest cats battled with Squirrelflight, Ferncloud and Brightheart. She saw Squirrelflight go down. Claws out stretched she raced to her aid, digging her claws into the back of a dark she cat and hauling her off Squirrelflight. Together they turned on her, slashing instep until they drove the she cat off.
“We need to move them now!” Squirrelflight shouted.
“We need more warriors! We need help!” Hollyleaf told her. There was no way they could move the kits without the support of warriors to guide them; they’d be sitting ducks. She looked at Ferncloud and Brightheart, two queens she’d always remembered to be kind and compassionate who spat fire at their attackers until they’d driven them off.
“We don’t have the time! Grab a kit and move!” Squirrelflight ordered. Hollyleaf grabbed Lilykit in her jaws and Squirrelflight grabbed Seedkit. Ferncloud and Brightheart had Dewkit and Amberkit- it was now or never. Trust as their only guide they made their way for Firestar’s den, sticking to the outskirts of the camp. They had to move quickly. It would only be a matter of seconds before they were spotted-
“Squirrelflight look out!” Hollyleaf swiveled her head, kit dangling from her jaws, just in time to see a large gray tom lunging for Squirrelflight. Squirrelflight dropped her kit a second before the tom took her down. Hollyleaf was torn; she couldn’t abandon Squirrelflight and the kit but she had to protect the one in her jaws.
“Take Seedkit!” It was Brambleclaw- he dived for Squirrelflight and tore into the tom’s side. Hollyleaf quickly snatched up the terrified kit and bolted for Firestar’s den. More warriors were gathered there- Lionblaze and Mousewhisker had joined them, forming a line to keep the Dark Forest warriors from getting to the kits.
Firestar had one tom pinned against the stone wall, slashing down his flank before he sprung at another who’d managed to break through, teeth lodged in his shoulder as they crashed to the ground. Hollyleaf moved quickly as she carried the two kits to his den, climbing the stone wall until she reached his den. She passed the kits off to Ferncloud and Brightheart, both she cats wounded but ready to fight again. These were her clanmates; cats who refused to give up. She dipped her head in respect to the two queens, knowing they would protect ThunderClan’s future.
Hollyleaf returned to the ledge outside of Firestar’s den. Though they’d secured the kits they still weren’t winning; she could no longer spot the white fur of Whitewing and she hadn’t seen Cloudtail since the first wave. Squirrelflight! Panicked Hollyleaf raced back down to the camp, passing the group of warriors protecting the kits to return to Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw. She’d almost forgotten about them. Relief washed over her for a heartbeat as she saw the two of them fighting side by side, finishing off the large gray cat that had attacked before.
Relief turned to horror as she watched two more cats launch themselves at Squirrelflight, claws ready to tear her open. Hollyleaf charged but Brambleclaw was quicker, knocking one of the cats to the ground. Squirrelflight dodged the other and raked her claws along his spine, but he quickly pounced on Brambleclaw and the deputy went down in a mass of claws and fangs.
Both Squirrelflight and Hollyleaf were at his aid, hauling the cats off him and ripping their flesh in the process. But there was blood, too much blood; one of the cats, the one Hollyleaf had her claws in wasn’t moving. He was bleeding heavily from a wound along the side of his throat. Hollyleaf tossed him aside and nudged Brambleclaw to his paws. “No.” she turned to Squirrelflight who’s eyes had gone wide. What was wrong? There was no cat past her…she looked at Brambleclaw.
“Brambleclaw!” Squirrelflight’s cry shook the clearing as she ran to him right before he stumbled. Hollyleaf caught him and he leaned on her, bleeding from several wounds on his shoulders and a deep gash on his chest. “We have to get him to Jayfeather now!”
The two she cats half carried- half dragged Brambleclaw towards Jayfeather’s den. “Squirrelflight…”
“Don’t Brambleclaw. Don’t you start now. You don’t get to die Brambleclaw so don’t you talk like you’ll never get to again,” Squirrelflight snapped, avoiding his eyes. Hollyleaf could feel it too, the pain she felt; whatever transpired between them all Brambleclaw was her father and Squirrelflight was her mother. They were the ones who raised her and they’d both protected her and now…
“She’s right Brambleclaw. If you want to talk it’ll be after you’re better,” Hollyleaf urged. They were right there-
“Jayfeather! Jayfeather it’s Brambleclaw!” Squirrelflight cried frantically. “He’s hurt! Come out here now!”
“Squirrelflight…Hollyleaf…” She could hear the life fading from his mew and she knew- knew what that meant. “I forgive you both. I’m…I’m sorry I waited…so long to…say so.” Blood was bubbling in the corners of his mouth.
“Jayfeather!” Squirrelflight wailed. “Brambleclaw don’t…please don’t- please Brambleclaw I need you!”
“You’ve never needed any cat…” that struck home for Hollyleaf. This was really happening. Jayfeather came out of his den a thick wad of cobwebs in his jaws. He rushed over to them, fumbling a little as he tripped over Bramblelaw’s body.
“Hurry Jayfeather you have to save him! He can’t die like this!” Hollyleaf demanded, trying and failing at controlling her emotions. For so long she’d thought about what she did to him and how it had been a large part in the destruction of his relationship with all of them. And now as she looked down into his eyes, watched the light fade from them with every breath…
“I never…stopped…loving any of you,” he said, his eyes locked on Hollyleaf. “Holly..leaf…you’ll make an excellent deputy…” Hollyleaf watched him as he left, took his last breath. He was gone. Her father, Brambleclaw, was gone.
“No. No!” Squirrelflight wailed, collapsing by his side. She quickly drew the attention of every cat in the clearing and for a moment they all fell silent. Then they realized what happened, that Brambleclaw was dead. The Dark Forest cats begin to cheer.
She felt Jayfeather at his side. “He named you deputy as he died Hollyleaf. Do your job.” She stared into her brother’s sightless blue eyes and then at the body of Brambleclaw. What could she do?
“Squirrelflight, we have to keep fighting,” her voice was weak, broken and dry. She tried again. “We keep fighting.” This time she was stronger, and her mother looked up at her, green eyes full of grief. She turned to her clan mates.
“We keep fighting until every one of them leaves this forest and never returns! Do not let his death be in vain! When we are hit we fight harder and we win! We will have no regrets! No cat will dare say ThunderClan was weak!”
Chapter 29: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Ivypool stood there for a moment, weighed down by the gravity of what she’d done. Nothing in her life so far prepared her for being honest with Tigerheart; for the look in his eyes when he realized what she did. The moment when she knew that she’d broken his heart, shattered his image of her. Knowing that he was so angry that he wanted to kill her- but worse than that was him not doing it. I pray to StarClan that I never make another cat feel the way I made him feel- because I’ll never forget how he looked at me. Twice, I’ve broken his heart and all he ever did was love me. “Ivypool!” It was Bluestar, joining up with her. She was followed by the patrol of StarClan warriors in full force and stopped when she reached her. “Why are you standing around? The battle is almost over!”
“It’s been seasons since I’ve had this kind of action!” Lionheart declared, flexing his claws.
“It’s not over yet. Tigerstar’s about to make a move on ThunderClan,” Ivypool told her. She would have to deal with her emotions later; now she had to finish what she started.
“Then we’re headed home!” Bluestar declared. “We will stop him once and for all!” Ivypool raced alongside Bluestar, adrenaline fueling her body and propelling her onward even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. This battle had taken its toll on her emotionally more than it ever would physically.
She could hear the roar of battle as they approached the camp and a heartbeat later saw the destroyed bramble tunnel, trampled into the dirt. “They need us! We are here to fight!” Ivypool yowled, bursting into camp. She didn’t stop to take it in and launched herself at the first Dark Forest cat she could get her claws into. She clamped down hard at the base of his spine and dragged him back.
“Ivypool!” Blossomfall emerged from underneath the tom, her tortoiseshell pelt ragged. “You’re here! You’re back!”
“Fight Blossomfall!” Ivypool ordered. The tom whirled on Ivypool and slammed his paw into her muzzle, knocking her on her side. Blossomfall charged at him and was on her hindlegs grappling with him. Ivypool sprang to her paws and bit down hard on his neck, bringing him to the ground thrashing. Blossomfall was on him, clawing at his muzzle until there was nothing but blood and he stopped moving.
“You’re fighting for the clans,” Blossomfall panted, sides heaving. “You’re not one of them.”
“There was never another choice,” Ivypool told her.
“Ivypool!” that was Firestar. He was bleeding from many scratches but she had never seen him look more alive, more like a warrior, more like a ball of fire blazing through the Dark Forest cats for his clan. “We need you- Bluestar?”
“You’ve done a good job with ThunderClan Firestar,” Bluestar told him as the rest of the StarClan cats joined the battle. “You are still the fire that will save this clan- but now, you’re not alone.”
Firestar’s eyes shone bright as he nodded his head to his former leader. “Ivypool head for my den. The kits and queens are up there- we could use you.” Ivypool nodded her head and raced for his den, Firestar and Bluestar at her side. This was what I’ve been missing- what I’ve always wanted. Together they fell on the Dark Forest cats trying to fight past the blockade of warriors like hawks swooping out of the sky. Ivypool slashed her claws across the muzzle of a black cat and then tripped her and shoved her onto the ground. She saw Firestar bowl over Snowtuft and shredded his ear, sending the tom screeching away towards the camp entrance.
Darkstripe and another dark furred tom broke through their line and were racing up the rocky slope to his den- and Mousefur was hot on their heels. Firestar was right behind her and neither cat looked like anything other than a warrior. Firestar and Mousefur threw themselves at the two Dark Forest cats, knocking them over and sending gravel raining down beneath them. All four of them fought viciously on the ledge outside his den.
Firestar plucked Darkstripe off Mousefur and he went rolling over towards the ledge. She watched as he flailed wildly and one of his paws caught Firestar’s hindleg. He pulled Firestar down and hoisted himself back up and the three toms became a whirlwind of claws and fangs, flashes of ginger fur and glimpses of tabby stripes before they all went crashing over the edge.
The entire camp fell eerily silent as they fell and hit the ground with a hard thud that seemed to echo throughout the forest. Ivypool was frozen for a heartbeat; what just happened? She bounced back quickly, racing to Firestar’s side and pushing her way through the Dark Forest cats. Sandstorm was there too and together they pulled the still and broken body of Darkstripe and the other cat off of Firestar.
“Firestar?” Sandstorm nudged his fur but he didn’t respond. He lay there, claws unsheathed, as still as an owl perched in a tree. The clan began to gather around the body of Firestar as if they expected the flame colored leader to get back up again, but Ivypool had seen enough death to know that he wasn’t. Firestar was alive all her life; he’d made her an apprentice and a warrior.
“Sandstorm,” Graystripe meowed softly, his muzzle pressed against her ear. She didn’t seem to hear him, didn’t even flinch when he showed. She just stared down at his body like she didn’t quite understand what she was looking at.
“ThunderClan!” It was Hollyleaf, standing between her clanmates and the watching Dark Forest cats. “We will grieve the loss of Firestar later. Now, we must defend the clan he died protecting! We have to protect his legacy!”
But the clan was slow to action; they looked around at each other, clearly unsure what to do without Firestar. Which would be fine if they weren’t in the middle of a battle. “For Firestar!” Ivypool yowled. She broke away from her clanmates and raced past Hollyleaf, tackling the closest Dark Forest cat she could find. She sunk her fangs into his flank.
“For Firestar! And for Brambleclaw!” that was Graystripe; the rest of the clan took up the cry and were back in action, almost as if seeing her attack reminded them what they were supposed to be doing.
“Drive them out of camp!” Hollyleaf ordered, placing herself beside Ivypool. They worked in unison as they headed the counter attack on the Dark Forest warriors. More and more of her clanmates along with the StarClan cats joined them, biting and clawing at any cat that wasn’t smart enough to turn tail and run.
And it worked- they were fleeing! Filled with the satisfaction of victory Ivypool and Hollyleaf gave chase, a thick knot of ThunderClan warriors behind them. They were all injured and they’d lost a lot but they still stood because they were together.
Racing alongside her clanmates Ivypool chased them deeper into the forest, towards the lake.
“I’m honestly surprised to see you here.” Ivypool stopped abruptly- this was it. Standing before her was Hawkfrost, a group of Dark Forest warriors gathering behind him.
“That’s because you don’t listen,” Ivypool meowed. Hollyleaf grew stiff legged beside her and she heard Blossomfall let out a low growl. “This is something I have to settle, right Hawkfrost?”
“This is something we have to settle, Ivypool. You and I, as it’s always been. That’s how it is meant to be,” Hawkfrost meowed, taking a step towards her. With a flick of his ear the Dark Forest cats attacked, streaming past her and going for her clanmates. “Do they know where your heart truly lies? I know you’ve killed Brokenstar, and Darkstripe is dead too.”
“Hawkfrost, there’s nothing left to say,” Ivypool stared him down; it was as if the battle waging around them vanished and she and he were the only two cats in the forest. It doesn’t matter how I feel about him. I know what I want. I want it knowing that I still love him. But that didn’t change the pull she felt when she saw him or the fact that he was right and they were close to accomplishing his plan. “The dreams we once had…they aren’t a reality I want to live in. Which leaves only one thing left for me to do.”
She knew that he understood what she meant but it didn’t seem to phase him. “I didn’t kill you because I love you, and that’s still true. We may fight but you and I, we can’t exist without the other. That’s what love is. No matter how hard you push away from me, you’ll always pull me back.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Ivypool growled. She looked at him, at the cat she’d loved for all these moons. He’d seen her through everything and put her through even more. From him she learned what love is and what it isn’t. Together, they’d grown and changed- he had changed. The Hawkfrost standing before her today, blue eyes clear and fixed on her was different than the cat she met moons ago in that foggy field. And perhaps if it wasn’t for everything that happened in between she might make a different choice. Tigerheart was right- I do have a light in me. And no love, however strong it is, is worth dimming that.
Ivypool charged at him. At the last moment he swung his paw at her foreleg as she expected. She dived under his paw and slithered under his belly, slicing her claws into his white fur as she did. He caught her hindleg as she tried to get away and hauled her back- pain. They were causing each other pain.
Ivypool angled her body so that she could slam her other leg into his neck and she kept doing it until he let her go. She rolled through the brittle grass until she was back on her paws, facing off against him. He was strong and had made her stronger because of it. She’d never beaten him before, but they’d also never met like this before.
This time he came at her fast as lightning and darted past her. As soon as he raised his paw she raised her own and met his blow with her own, their paws colliding and sending them both reeling backwards with the force of it. Ivypool leapt into the air, claws out stretched and landed just behind Hawkfrost. And he was right there, spun around just in time to meet her sharp claws with his own and they grappled together, clawing at each other’s shoulders. Ivypool gritted her teeth as they sprung apart; he was the cat she’d trained with the most. She knew his moves, but so did he.
I have to end this. Her eyes were transfixed on his throat- Ivypool yelped in surprise as her side exploded with pain and she was carried off her paws by the weight of a massive cat. “Tigerstar,” she snapped, squirming under the weight of the hateful cat.
“Hawkfrost, you told me she was dead. Though I’m not the least bit surprised she isn’t; I didn’t expect you to have the strength of character to kill her,” Tigerstar meowed, glaring straight at Hawkfrost. His claws were at her throat; she had to be careful of her next move. “You’re not like us Hawkfrost. You simply don’t have what it takes to be a true leader; you never did.”
“I’m nothing like you,” Ivypool spat defiantly.
“You plotted behind our backs to overthrow me. You manipulated Hawkfrost and all the cats around you- living and dead- to accomplish your goals. You’re so one-sighted that you have killed to get what you want and tossed aside any cat you deemed too weak to help you get there. I should have trained you myself Ivypool; then you’d be at my side as we won instead of at my claws awaiting your own death,” as he spoke he applied more pressure, his claws piercing her flesh. It stung but the wounds weren’t deep, not meant to be fatal.
“Get off of her!” Dovewing; Ivypool’s eyes rested on her sister, full of fury, charging boldly at Tigerstar. She felt the rumble of his mew as he growled and felt his strength as he flexed his muscles. Ivypool saw her chance; as soon as he was about to push off of her and attack Dovewing she sprung up, unbalancing him just enough that Dovewing was able to knock him off his paws. He skidded into a thicket of brambles near Hawkfrost who hadn’t moved since his arrival. Dovewing was by Ivypool’s side as they faced Hawkfrost and Tigerstar who was now back on his paws, amber eyes glistening like a fox spotting its next meal.
“Thank you,” Ivypool meowed.
“I have your back Ivypool,” Dovewing told her, flicking her flank with her tail.
“Then I’ll take the lead.” Ivypool was full of confidence as they stared down the two strongest cats she’d ever faced. She and Dovewing never fought side by side before, yet somehow she could feel a connection to her.
“You weren’t planning on doing this without me,” Hollyleaf joined them, black fur covered in scars but still standing strong, ready to fight again. She curled her lip in a snarl. “I thought we were a team.”
“These are the cats you stand with Ivypool? They’ll only slow you down,” Tigerstar taunted.
“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” Ivypool told him, glancing over at the two she cats to her right. Suddenly she felt the presence of another cat. She looked to her left- “Firestar!”
“I will always stand beside my warriors,” Firestar’s starry pelt shone like fire as he stood tall and proud, younger and stronger than she’d ever remembered seeing him. “Especially against this foe.”
Chapter 30: Fire Burns Brightest In The Dark
“Firestar,” Tigerstar was full of pure joy as he locked his amber eyes on Firestar, the massive tabby’s muscles rippling with anticipation. “Death looks good on you kittypet. Allow me to make it final.” “This is it for you Tigerstar. You should’ve stayed in the Dark Forest,” Firestar retorted.
“Don’t underestimate them,” Ivypool warned, “They’ve done nothing but train for this exact moment.” There was only a heartbeat more of stillness before they sprung into battle. Hawkfrost and Tigerstar rushed them, Tigerstar clearly aimed for Firestar. Hollyleaf crashed into him and Firestar pounced, leaving her and Dovewing to face off against Hawkfrost.
Hawkfrost went for Dovewing and Ivypool let him, pouncing on him as soon as his claws met Dovewing’s flesh. Unbalanced Hawkfrost fell awkwardly and Ivypool was on him, raking her claws down his side. Dovewing joined her and bit into his hindleg. Unsurprisingly Hawkfrost wasn’t down for long and he threw the two of them off, slashing Ivypool’s cheek in the process. Ivypool stumbled back shaking the blood off her whiskers and caught sight of Firestar grappling with Tigerstar and Hollyleaf circling around, preparing to attack.
Dovewing lunged at Hawkfrost and he raked his claws over her ears before she was able to get in a blow. Furious Ivypool tackled him and they rolled over and over together, hissing and spitting and biting each other. By the time they sprung a part they were near the shore, close to the place where he’d first come to her in this world.
She looked at him as he stood, bleeding from the many wounds he had. She knew she wasn’t in any better shape.
“When you killed Mapleshade is this what you had in mind? That you would be fighting against the very cat who you risked everything to be with?” he was angry, ice-blue eyes burning with rage. “When you told me you loved me, when you were willing to run away from the clans for me, when you turned your back on your sister- is this what it was all for? Tell me Ivypool!”
His anger made him reckless and she easily dodged the massive warrior’s blow when he swung his paw at her muzzle. He snarled defiantly and his jaws snapped shut just where her throat had been. He kept coming at her viciously and each time she dodged, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. She was going to kill him; she could see that as clearly as she could see him.
“Ivypool!” he roared. He lunged at her and she dived forward, jerking her head up and slamming it into his chin. She exposed his throat and didn’t hesitate. For a moment things slowed; she watched as her white paw, claws glinting in the moonlight moved forward. She saw him look at her, watched him watch her sink her claws into his chest. In his eyes she saw the transition from anger to surprise to pain as she tore her claws towards his throat, ripping his chest open.
“Ivypool,” he was heartbroken. She couldn’t move. His blood…it stung. It felt like it was burning her paw but she couldn’t pull away. All she could do was stare in his eyes and watch him die. “Ivypool…” his eyes were growing dull. It wouldn’t be long now.
“I do still love you Hawkfrost,” Ivypool didn’t know if he could still hear, didn’t know how death worked but she couldn’t stop herself from speaking. “I do. I never stopped. You were my first love and I will never forget that. But our love was unhealthy and it almost destroyed me. Loving you almost destroyed me; and I couldn’t let that happen. But you didn’t see it that way, so you wouldn’t let me go. That is why I had to do this. Killing you wasn’t hard but knowing that I’ll never see you again…that’s going to leave a scar. The wound will heal with time but the scar…it will serve as a reminder of what could have been.”
He was fading. She couldn’t help the yearning she felt for him, wishing that she would have more than just his blood soaked into her fur to cling to. But she didn’t regret what she did. Beneath all the things she was feeling she felt something new: peace. “Goodbye Hawkfrost.”
“Ivypool,” Hollyleaf’s gentle mew brought her back; she was no longer alone. With her was Dovewing and Firestar and the three of them were watching her.
“I just need a moment Hollyleaf,” Ivypool told her.
“Take all the time you need,” Hollyleaf meowed, “The day is won. The battle is over.” With that she turned and left and Firestar followed. Dovewing lingered for a moment, staring at Ivypool. She ran up to her and touched her muzzle to Ivypool’s.
“I don’t know what this feels like for you, Ivypool. I probably never will. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to make that kind of choice, but you made the right one,” Dovewing murmured in her ear. Her sister’s eyes were full of love as she followed after Hollyleaf, leaving Ivypool alone.
She did make the right choice. She knew that. And they’d won the battle, but more importantly she’d won something even better: her freedom. Despite the weird feeling in her stomach Ivypool knew it and it made her experience something else she hadn’t in a while: happiness. It lifted her off her paws and flew her to her clanmates who had gathered outside of camp. Victory, like happiness didn’t come easy but once it came it was yours. It’s mine, all mine.
… Hollyleaf stood amongst her clanmates dead and alive knowing exactly what it felt like to have won. She looked around at their bright eyes and bruised bodies; the two things that made them warriors. And she could feel their fierce determination, the thing that made them ThunderClan cats. They were all weary and so was she, but this was the beginning of something new.
“Who will be our leader?” that was Graystripe, and his question quickly sparked confusion amongst the clan. Hollyleaf looked at Firestar, who only dipped his head to her. She was confused for a moment until she remembered that Brambleclaw appointed her deputy before he died. She wasn’t the only one either.
“Before he died,” Squirrelflight began, “Brambleclaw appointed Hollyleaf as his replacement.”
“But the clan leader picks the new deputy,” Foxleap pointed out. “Right Firestar?”
“It is true that Brambleclaw did wish for me to take his place,” Hollyleaf meowed, gazing around at her clanmates. Never had she felt more nervous; what if they didn’t want her? “And I would be proud to stand in his steps. But I won’t if it isn’t what the clan wants.”
“It’s worth noting that without Hollyleaf we wouldn’t have been able to prepare for this attack and she did help to rally us after the death of Brambleclaw and Firestar,” Sandstorm pointed out.
“But she also abandoned the clan,” Berrynose pointed out.
Again she looked to Firestar and again he remained silent; was he testing her? “I have not lived the perfect life as a warrior. I’ve made mistakes, and there have been things that I’ve done that I regret. But what I don’t regret is fighting for this clan, for you all. I don’t regret standing by your side. The path I’ve walked hasn’t been easy, and neither is the path ahead of ThunderClan. We have lost a lot and while we won the battle it will take time to recover. I will continue to fight for this clan, be it as your leader or a warrior. My only goal is to protect the things we value.”
She had their attention, but that didn’t guarantee they’d support her. She noticed that the StarClan cats had joined her and so had Ivypool, lingering towards the back of the crowd. With everything she’s done and sacrificed, she deserves to be here just as much as me.
“Hollystar!” It was Lionblaze; he yowled her name to the stars above. Hollyleaf was grateful for his support, even more so when it sparked a similar feeling in her clanmates. Soon they were all chanting her name, StarClan cats included.
“Are you ready?” Firestar asked.
“Yes- ready for what?” Hollyleaf asked. Before he answered she was washed in an overwhelming white light. It blinded her for several long heartbeats and by the time she could see again she realized where she was: StarClan. She gazed around at the lush hunting grounds of her ancestors, at the StarClan cats filling in around her. She spotted Brambleclaw among them, Spiderleg and Icecloud with him. Thornclaw was there too; though he looked wary she was happy that, in the end he made the right choice. But why was she here?
“Hollyleaf!” It was Firestar, seeming to speak with the voice of every StarClan cat as he stood in front of her like a ball of righteous fire. “I am pleased to be the cat to welcome you here as the future leader of ThunderClan. You helped guide ThunderClan through one of its darkest hours and you have met with many oppositions and trials along the way, yet through it all you’ve never forgotten who you are. You deserve to be here.”
Firestar stepped back and Honeyfern took his place. It had been a long time since she’d seen the pretty tabby she cat and Hollyleaf wanted to greet her, but Honeyfern clearly had a purpose. “With this life, your first life, I give you open-mindedness. Use it to guide your clan through strange times, like the ones we just faced." Honeyfern touched her nose to Hollyleaf’s and she was overwhelmed with the power of the life she was given. She closed her eyes in agony and when she opened them Honeyfern was watching her, laughter in her eyes.
“I’ve never been a part of something like this; it will be interesting to watch,” she turned and left and Icecloud took her place. Hollyleaf’s heart went out to the gentle white she cat; she was one of the cats Hollyleaf led in what was technically her first battle as deputy, and it had been to her death.
“With this life I give you unity,” she meowed, “So that you’ll remember that you are never alone.” This time the life was comforting and made Hollyleaf feel uplifted, which made her even more sorrowful over Icecloud’s death. “Even in death we are united Hollyleaf.”
As Icecloud walked away the RiverClan medicine cat Willowshine took her place. She was another cat whose death Hollyleaf felt guilty for, even though she had nothing to do with it. Willowshine was also her friend back when she thought she wanted to be a medicine cat herself. But her blue eyes seemed to hold none of that in them- instead they were as clear as the sky.
“With this life I give you faith. Use it to keep you strong even when it seems like all hope is loss.” Hollyleaf reached out eagerly to touch noses and instantly regretted it. She knew she was experiencing all the pain Willowshine felt when she was killed; she caught flashes of her last moments. But after the pain was a cooling sensation that seemed to fade away into a feeling of peace. “That’s what faith is.”
With Willowshine gone Thornclaw took her place. Though the last few moons of his life may have been complicated he died a warrior, and at least Hollyleaf could take some pride in that. “With this life I give you loyalty. Use it to remind you never to forget where your true loyalties lie.” She expected this life to be painful and she was right; through the pain she experienced everything he did while training in the Dark Forest, and then his death in the RiverClan camp in the jaws of Hawkfrost. She blinked her eyes open and saw him as he was before all that: a loyal ThunderClan cat. He stepped away.
A large golden tom took his place: Lionheart. She remembered fighting alongside him in battle. “Hollyleaf, with this life I give you strength. As a former deputy of ThunderClan I know how strong you have to be to lead cats into battle, knowing they may not return.” Would all of these lives be painful? Lionheart’s life let her experience every battle he’d fought and with it came the sneaking realization that he lived for battle but wasn’t willing to place his clanmates in harms way. She dipped her head to him. “My tenure as deputy was short lived too, though not quite as short as yours.” Lionheart stepped away and Bluestar rose to her paws.
The blue-gray leader padded confidently up to her and dipped her head in greeting. “The life I have to give is certainty. Use it to remember who you are and why you’re here, even when the path gets cloudy.” When she touched her nose to Bluestar’s she felt a sharp pain; she began to experience everything Bluestar had in the last few moons of her life. The pain, confusion, anger, distrust… “I know what it’s like to lose your way for a while.” Hollyleaf wanted to speak but she couldn’t; and when she saw the cat who came to her next she found she couldn’t form words.
“With this life, Hollyleaf, I give you love,” Fallen Leaves kept his voice low as he touched his nose to hers. “Use it for those in your life who may not have it.” Her heart ached for him as she received his life- a life full of loneliness and sorrow. The pain was a lot until it changed and became a sweet, hopeful feeling. “That’s how it felt when I met you,” he said. He lingered for a moment. “I’m happy you’ve returned to your family. I have too.”
He left and for a moment Hollyleaf had a break; how many lives had that been? Then she saw Brambleclaw rise to his paws. She wasn’t sure how she felt about him still as things were still awkward for her now seeing him, but he seemed to have no more of that awkwardness in his eyes when he approached her. “With this life I give you forgiveness Hollyleaf. I believe it is the most important thing a cat can do; it is the only way for growth.” When they touched noses she felt a slow, aging pain that seemed to creep through her body until it took hold of her completely. And then it was gone like mist in the sunlight; what it feels like to forgive. “You will be a great leader Hollyleaf. I’ve always believed that.”
The last cat to come to her was Firestar. He seemed so full of life and energy that Hollyleaf felt a little apprehensive at receiving his life; she could feel the strength of it before he even touched her nose. “With this life I give you fire. Use it to protect your clan from danger and to light their path in times of darkness.” As soon as they touched noses she felt like she was engulfed in fierce flames, burning her pelt away. She wanted to cry out but couldn’t; this life seemed to last longer than the others. By the time she recovered he was watching her, a bit of humor in his eyes.
“When I became deputy of ThunderClan it wasn’t well received. It’s up to you to change their minds,” Firestar told her. Then he took a step back and addressed the rest of the cats. “Congratulations Hollystar. You are now the leader of ThunderClan.” On cue the rest of the StarClan cats began chanting her name until it became a mighty roar: Hollystar! It was all she heard as she was again consumed in light.
"Hollyleaf!” Hollystar blinked her eyes groggily, realizing she was lying on the forest floor. Cinderheart’s panicked mew was right beside her and she got to her paws; her clan was still surrounding her, staring at her as if she’d died. “You’re okay! All of the StarClan cats surrounded you and then they were gone and you were lying down, asleep. Jayfeather said that everything was fine-“
“Actually it’s Hollystar,” Hollystar told her. Cinderheart stopped and dipped her head in respect to her new clan leader.
“Hollystar.” She watched as her name rippled through her clan like they were tasting a piece of fresh kill for the first time and deciding if they liked it. It became clear that they did as they began chanting her name the same way the StarClan cats did. She let them for a few moments before she held up her tail and they all fell silent. That would take some getting used to.
“ThunderClan! A lot has happened to us since the sunset. But what comes after is sunrise- and that’s exactly what we will do! It is time for us to return to camp. But first,” Hollystar weaved her way through her clanmates until she reached Ivypool, who looked at her curiously. Hollystar felt a little amusement; even after everything Ivypool had no idea what was about to happen. “A part of my job is to appoint a deputy. Ivypool, the things you have done- the things you have sacrificed and endured for our clan may never be known in full to us. But what we do know is your loyalty and your commitment to ThunderClan, and your leadership and skill in battle. So I say these words before StarClan and before ThunderClan that you may all hear and approve of my choice. Ivypool will be the new deputy of ThunderClan!”
This time the clan didn’t hesitate; they all cheered Ivypool’s name, Hollystar included. Ivypool however looked somber, almost as if she didn’t want the job. “I know I didn’t have a chance to discuss this with you Ivypool, but there is no cat better suited for the job. None. That’s why I chose you.”
“Thank you,” was all Ivypool said, dipping her head respectfully. “I will live up to the title, I promise you that.”
“ThunderClan! Let’s go home.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:33:29 GMT -5
Epilogue
“Bumblestripe you can lead the evening patrol since Birchpaw tore his claw earlier,” Ivypool told him. “Take Sandstorm and Millie with you. They’ve been too prone to staying in camp lately.” “You’re right about that,” Bumblestripe agreed, flicking his ears towards the pair of she cats sharing tongues outside the rebuilt warrior’s den. “It’s a good thing new leaf is here; perfect time for new kits in the clan.”
“Right,” Ivypool meowed dismissively. Bumblestripe trotted away to join Dovewing who was tearing into a plump shrew. They touched noses before he sat down next to her. Gazing around the camp now Ivypool could scarcely tell there was a battle here that destroyed almost everything nearly two moons ago. The nursery walls were strong and the apprentice’s den which was soon to house new comers had more than enough room. She caught sight of Mousefur waving away Cherrypaw who was trying to offer her a mouse; Ivypool began to worry about her ever since the Great Battle. She suspected the proud elder still blamed herself for Firestar’s death and had more than once caught her refusing a meal. Purdy and Ferncloud were the only ones who could get her to eat now.
“Ivypool!” Cherrypaw called as she raced over to her, mouse dangling from her jaws. “She sent me away again.”
“I’ll have Ferncloud bring it to her,” Ivypool told her, resting her tail on Cherrypaw’s shoulders. “You did good catching it. Go and eat Cherrypaw.” She watched as she went and then Ivypool eased her way up the path to Hollystar’s den. She was happy to see how easily her friend settled into her new role and even happier that things seemed to be going smoothly for Ivypool too. For now at least.
“Hollystar,” Ivypool announced her presence before entering. She found Hollystar carefully grooming her fur, but she stood up when Ivypool entered, green eyes bright.
“Something’s wrong,” Hollystar meowed immediately. “I can tell.”
“I’m going out,” Ivypool told her.
“Really? You haven’t left camp much in the past few days,” Hollystar meowed.
“I know. I’ve just felt the need to be in camp,” Ivypool apologized. “But I need to step out for a bit.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Hollystar offered.
“It’s fine. Leafpool is,” Ivypool told her. “By the way it was the right decision to make her a medicine cat again.”
“Honestly, I don’t think she ever stopped being one,” Hollystar told her. “It’s woven into her identity. No cat could have ever really taken it from her.”
“Blossompaw is supposed to be having her assessment in a few,” Ivypool meowed.
“I’ll oversee it,” Hollystar told her. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m just glad the other clans went for it, making the former Dark Forest apprentices real apprentices again,” Ivypool meowed. “It seems to have eased the trust issue that arose after the battle.”
“Not completely but it’s a start,” Hollystar agreed. “More than anything they just need a chance to prove their loyalty again, and this way they can do that without it seeming like there were no consequences for their actions. Plus, it gives the clan a chance to let out some of the aggression they feel towards them without things getting out of hand.”
“That’s true,” Ivypool meowed. “I’m going to go get Leafpool.”
“Be careful Ivypool. You’re the ThunderClan deputy; try not to cause any trouble.”
Ivypool walked carefully alongside Leafpool, hyper aware of the budding forest around her. New leaf was truly here; the forest was warmer and the sun stayed longer. The plants were coming back and everywhere she looked there seemed to be life, even when she looked at herself.
“How are you feeling? Do you want to take a break?” Leafpool asked, looking her over.
“I’m fine Leafpool really. Besides we’ve only just begun- if we stopped now we’d never make it before sunset,” Ivypool reassured her. “If you don’t mind me asking- how was it for you?”
“I…well when I gave birth it was snowing and I was in an old badger set with Squirrelflight alone. I’d also been spending my time pretending I wasn’t pregnant,” Leafpool joked. “So I imagine it will be quite different for you.”
“Actually, that's not what I meant,” Ivypool told her. “I meant when you told Crowfeather.”
This time Leafpool didn’t respond right away, not that Ivypool expected her to. She knew this was something personal for Leafpool but it was also the main reason she’d ask her to come. She wanted to be with a cat who could support her emotionally as well as physically.
“Well Hollyleaf took care of that for me,” Leafpool began. “He didn’t find out until the night of the gathering when she told everyone. I regret that. Looking back I should have told him before. But he was trying to be loyal to his clan and I was trying to be loyal to mine, and it wasn’t as simple as it may be for you.”
“Simple?” Ivypool meowed. “I’m the ThunderClan deputy heading to ShadowClan to let a cat I used to train with in the Dark Forest know that I’m having his kits.”
“Ok so your situation isn’t simple either,” Leafpool meowed, laughing a little. “What I meant was that you are allowed to make your own choice in this. The choice was made for me: ‘There will be three, kin of your kin.”
“Luckily there isn’t a StarClan cat haunting my every decision,” Ivypool agreed. “But do you honestly think that things would have been better if you had told him before?”
“I don’t know,” Leafpool admitted. “But I know that it killed him knowing he didn’t have a choice in the matter. But if he did know who knows what might have come of it? I doubt he would have been okay with Squirelflight raising our kits as hers. And in hindsight that didn’t produce the best of outcomes.”
“It didn’t produce the worse ones either,” Ivypool countered. “Sometimes a lie gets you through until you can tell the truth.”
“The truth is like the sun. You can hide from it, but it isn’t going away. A lie buys you time but it doesn’t solve your problems. In most cases it just makes everything worse,” Leafpool told her. “That’s why I’m proud that, however hard this may be, you’re going to tell him.”
“I have to. If the roles were reversed I would want to know,” Ivypool told her. “Though I know he won’t want to see me.”
“But he agreed to, right?” Leafpool asked, concerned.
“Not exactly,” Ivypool admitted. “That’s the other reason I asked you to come.”
“What is it that you think I can do here Ivypool?” Leafpool asked, confused.
“We are the ThunderClan deputy and medicine cat,” Ivypool explained. “So I’m escorting you to go and speak with ShadowClan’s medicine cat about important business.”
“And you think for a second they’re not going to wonder why a pregnant deputy would be the cat to escort me?”
“Oh I’m counting on that. They’ll be so intrigued that they won’t say no,” Ivypool meowed.
“Ivypool I’m not comfortable with this,” Leafpool told her frankly.
“I know. Truthfully I’m not either. But I had no other way to get to Tigerheart,” Ivypool confessed. “He hates me. He would never agree to speak to me.”
“I know the feeling,” Leafpool’s empathy was comforting and they continued the rest of the way in silence.
“There’s also going to come a point where we will have to deal with this,” Ivypool meowed. “Actually deal with these kits and their future. That’s the other reason I didn’t want to tell him- in all honesty I envy you having lied to Crowfeather. What happens if he wants to be their father? If ShadowClan wants to claim them? If he wants-“
“Ivypool don’t stress yourself out thinking about that,” Leafpool urged. “Right now let’s just focus on finding a patrol.” Leafpool’s comforting scent was a welcoming sensation for Ivypool. She hadn’t stopped working as deputy even though she knew she was pregnant and had refused any cat’s help in covering her duties. It was only recently that she stopped leaving camp and Ferncloud told her that it was because she was close to kitting.
Ivypool thought many times about raising her kits without a father; she knew it was a choice she had and could opt not to name him. She thought about it constantly, and because she thought about it she knew she had to do this, if only so she could have some peace.
“Leafpool, Ivypool,” the ShadowClan warrior Crowfrost dipped his head respectfully as he approached the border. A heartbeat later Applefur and Tawnypelt joined him. The ShadowClan warriors looked well but she knew they’d lost a lot of cats in the battle. “What are you two doing near our border?”
“We need to speak with Littlecloud,” Leafpool told him. “It’s important.” He hesitated and Ivypool knew it was because of her. Her role in everything made her a sort of hero around the lake but it also meant that cats knew some of the things she’d done while in the Dark Forest. She was also close to kitting and she knew that they were staring at her swollen belly.
“It must be if a pregnant deputy had to accompany you,” he conceded. “Why don’t you wait here and we’ll bring him to you? He’s not in camp right now.” She hadn’t expected that but it wasn’t surprising that they wouldn’t want them in camp.
“Thank you,” Ivypool meowed smoothly. She and Leafpool settled down in the cool grass, Ivypool slightly uncomfortable. She could feel her kits squirming in her belly. Crowfrost and Applefur left but Tawnypelt lingered, no doubt to keep an eye on them. Leafpool began stroking her tail along Ivypool’s spine, an extremely relaxing gesture. Ivypool let out a low purr.
Tentatively Tawnypelt crossed the border and approached them. “Why are you really here?” she asked.
“We need to speak with Littlecloud,” Leafpool repeated. Tawnypelt narrowed her eyes.
“Ivypool a queen as pregnant as you doesn’t leave her nest without a very good reason. Any cat could’ve accompanied Leafpool to speak with Littlecloud, but it was you,” Tawnypelt accused. “Why?”
“It’s not really something we can discuss with you,” Ivypool told her.
“When Flametail died Tigerheart fell into a dark hole. And then something brought him out of it. One day he left camp and when he came back he was himself again. At first I didn’t question it, and then I didn’t have to: it was love. Tigerheart is my son Ivypool- soon, you’ll know exactly what that feels like. I could tell when he saw you Ivypool because he would float around camp, and I knew when he needed to because the light in his eyes was gone. And then the battle happened. After, he became a different cat entirely. He’s angry and hurt. And now you’re here, belly full of kits. Why are you here?”
“Tawnypelt, I need to speak with him,” Ivypool told her. Tawnypelt looked at her for a while.
“I’ll bring him back here at sundown.”
… Ivypool and Leafpool sat comfortably in the shade of a birch tree watching as the shadows grew longer. Several times since Tawnypelt left Ivypool dosed off; she was happy that it was new leaf because she couldn’t have spent all day in the forest otherwise. Leafpool caught them a sparrow to share but Ivypool didn’t have much of an appetite.
Her stomach was in knots as she waited and it seemed to disturb the kits in her belly because they hadn’t stopped squirming. It was why she wasn’t able to get in a good nap the entire time. Leafpool told her she would probably have a litter of 3 and the thought of that seemed overwhelming, though not as much as thinking about Tigerheart.
She hadn’t seen him since the battle; he hadn’t been at the gatherings and he must have been avoiding the ThunderClan border all together because she never caught his scent. Not that she was looking or that she expected to, it just stung knowing that this was how things were between them.
“Of all the things I’ve done, my one true regret is Tigerheart. I didn’t just break his heart, I broke his spirit. I cared about him, and I did that to him. But what makes it worse is that I knew exactly what I was doing and exactly how it would hurt because Hawkfrost did the same to me,” Ivypool said aloud to no cat in particular.
“Hawkfrost?” Ivypool looked at Leafpool. She was troubled at the mention of the dead tabby’s name and Ivypool remembered that she knew of him in her life. It also reminded her that she hadn’t talked about him with any cat other than Hollystar.
“He was my mentor in the Dark Forest,” Ivypool told her, “And my first love. He loved me too, but it was choked with lies and manipulation and violence and control. I just keep thinking that Tigerheart and I could have had something real if I hadn’t spent so long in Hawkfrost’s world.”
“He is a cat in another clan,” Leafpool pointed out. “Though given everything else that has happened I don’t think that’s as big of a deal.”
“I just hope he listens,” Ivypool meowed, resting her head on her paws.
“If he shows up, it means he’ll listen. He may not act like it and he may not hear you, but he’ll listen,” Leafpool told her. The sun was almost gone and as it left it filled the forest with many shadows. She remembered the first night she spent with Tigerheart, the first time she found out he was training in the Dark Forest. Then things were easy, fun. It was because she didn’t realize all that was going on and things could be easy. They had fun and he made her happy; why hadn’t she just clung to that? Instead she clung to Hawkfrost so hard that she almost destroyed everything.
“Ivypool.” Leafpool’s mew alerted her to the presence of two approaching cats and Ivypool got to her paws. She could smell him; his scent made her feel sick. This was really happening. She couldn’t turn back now. He rounded the tree with Tawnypelt-
And she knew he hadn’t known she’d be here.
It was Tigerheart, what was left of him. He was still muscular, still strong, but his aura changed the second he saw her. She felt a wave of hatred and saw the hairs across his shoulders stand up. She knew immediately what Tawnypelt meant.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Tawnypelt meowed, motioning with Leafpool to join her. Leafpool looked at Ivypool and she agreed, and the two she cats left them alone.
“Tigerheart,” Ivypool meowed softly. He stared at her- through her. “Tigerheart. How are you?” he continued to stare as if she hadn’t spoken, as if he didn’t know she were there, as if he was incapable of moving. It hurt to see him like this, more than not seeing him had.
“I’m pregnant,” she told him.
“So?” now she knew why he didn’t speak. Just beneath that anger she could hear the brokenness within him.
“We are having kits, Tigerheart. Leafpool says it will be any day now,” Ivypool meowed.
“So?” this time his voice cracked and he looked away. What have I done to him?
“Tigerheart-“
“Is there anything else?” his voice hard as stone he still refused to look at her. She took a step towards him and he visibly flinched away.
“Tigerheart-“
“Stop saying my name.” Ivypool stood there and looked at him. This was the cat she was having kits with, a cat who couldn’t even look at her. Who didn’t even want her to say his name.
“There’s nothing else. I just wanted you to know. I wanted you to hear it from me,” Ivypool told him. She waited for him to respond but it became clear that he wouldn’t. So she made the first move and she left.
… Exhausted Ivypool curled around her kits in the dark, warm nursery. She’d given birth two sunrises ago and it was the most painful thing she ever experienced- she still had no clue how she made it through. But somehow she did, and now she had three beautiful kits blindly suckling at her belly. It was so interesting to her that even though they couldn’t see they knew what to do, and even more that even though she just met them she knew she loved them, loved them more than anything or any cat in the entire world.
But being a mother was something she had to get used to, and for that she was glad to have Ferncloud and Daisy. They provided her with so much comfort and help that she couldn’t imagine not having them here or having given birth outside of camp like Leafpool did. And while she hadn’t told another cat she wasn’t sure about her ability to perform her duties as deputy while she was nursing. Without Ferncloud and Daisy she wouldn’t, but for now at least she would focus on mothering her kits and allow Hollystar and the senior warriors to handle it.
Most of the clan stopped by at one point or another, even Mousefur who upon seeing her kits had a light in her eyes that hadn’t been in moons. Lionblaze didn’t show and she didn’t expect him too, but Dovewing did. She even let her name one of her kits.
“Ivypool,” Ivypool looked up from her nest and saw Hollystar’s green eyes glowing in the dark. What was she doing here so late? “You have a visitor.” Hollystar stepped to the side and a large broad-shouldered tom took her place that was so akin to Brambleclaw and Tigerstar that she almost thought she’d seen a ghost, but it was Tigerheart.
She sat up straighter and accidentally dislodged her kits from her belly. “I’ll be right outside,” Hollystar told her.
“Why are you here, Tigerheart?” Ivypool asked, wrapping her tail tightly around her kits. They squealed in discomfort but she stared him down.
“I just wanted to see them,” Tigerheart told her, his voice quiet. When she didn’t relax he took a step back. “If you don’t want me to I can go. But I thought- I thought you wanted me…to.”
“Ok,” Ivypool meowed warily. She wasn’t going to stop him from seeing his kits but she also wasn’t sure where his mind was at. She couldn’t help but feel the need to protect them. “You can come closer.”
Gingerly he came, amber eyes a whirlwind of emotion. “Do they have names yet?”
“The she-kit is Morningkit,” Ivypool told her, gently brushing her tail over the tortoiseshell tabby. “She was the first born. Dovewing named her.”
“It’s a beautiful name,” he purred. “What about the others?”
“This one is Wildkit.”
“Wildkit?”
“It sort of fits; he gave me the most trouble so far,” Ivypool told him, gazing lovingly down at the reddish brown tom. “The last one doesn’t have a name yet. I couldn’t decide.”
“Do you mind if…if I…”
“I don’t mind at all. Why don’t you come and meet them?” She shifted a bit in her nest as he came even closer. She could feel his body heat but she could also feel his anxiety prickling off his tabby fur, and so could the kits. “You have to relax Tigerheart. They’re your kits; they can feel it when your nervous.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve never…I’m sorry,” he looked down at his paws then back at her. He sniffed each kit over, staring at them like they were the most curious things in the world. “These are our kits huh?”
“They are,” she was slightly amused at his sense of wonder; it was refreshing seeing him like this. Like the cat he used to be.
“Are their eyes open yet?” he asked. “Are you getting enough to eat?”
“Their eyes won’t be open for a few more sunrises and I’m eating fine Tigerheart. Our kits are strong,” Ivypool purred.
“Do you mind if I…stay? Not for long I just- for a little while- I know there are other cats who use the nursery and I don’t want to put them out-“
“You can stay Tigerheart,” Ivypool reassured him, though this was the first time she noticed she was alone in the nursery. He settled down just beside her nest and slowly began running his tail across their kits.
“Why don’t we name him Lightkit?” Ivypool looked up at Tigerheart who was staring down at the little silver tabby like he was the most precious thing in the world. Then he looked at her. Their eyes locked for a moment before he looked away, and she knew exactly why he wanted to name him Lightkit.
“Lightkit’s perfect.”
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 11:36:43 GMT -5
one more for safe keeping
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Post by mintedstar/fur🦇 on Jan 11, 2019 12:08:34 GMT -5
*rushes in* Okay, okay, two things. 1) fan me! 2) Woh woh wait! Are you the original Sea Drops by a Bird??? O.O Like, really. *runs around looking excited*
Hum, er *cough*. I swear I'm not this manic usually.
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 12:58:16 GMT -5
I am the original sea drops by a bird!! How are you!!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jan 11, 2019 15:04:12 GMT -5
This looks intriguing. I will be reading! Nice to meet you!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 15:14:03 GMT -5
This looks intriguing. I will be reading! Nice to meet you! Thank you!! I hope you enjoy it- I've got 24 chapters already written so between the next few days I'll have them all posted.
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jan 11, 2019 15:21:52 GMT -5
This looks intriguing. I will be reading! Nice to meet you! Thank you!! I hope you enjoy it- I've got 24 chapters already written so between the next few days I'll have them all posted. Awesome. When I posted my fic (back in 2014) I had the 1st 6 chapters written up. Sheesh then took three more years to finish the remaining chapters , which included moving them all here. I've read chap one and part of two already so I can tell you with confidence to Fan me! LOVE your avatar pic and the banner for this is stunning.
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 17:25:18 GMT -5
Thank you!! I hope you enjoy it- I've got 24 chapters already written so between the next few days I'll have them all posted. Awesome. When I posted my fic (back in 2014) I had the 1st 6 chapters written up. Sheesh then took three more years to finish the remaining chapters , which included moving them all here. I've read chap one and part of two already so I can tell you with confidence to Fan me! LOVE your avatar pic and the banner for this is stunning.
Oh this is a fic from back on the old forums, so I had the first 15-16 chapters already written from about 3-4 years ago, so I am in the same boat lol. And thanks, uploading the banner took a lot of work but I really fell in love with the image.
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jan 11, 2019 21:05:13 GMT -5
Awesome. When I posted my fic (back in 2014) I had the 1st 6 chapters written up. Sheesh then took three more years to finish the remaining chapters , which included moving them all here. I've read chap one and part of two already so I can tell you with confidence to Fan me! LOVE your avatar pic and the banner for this is stunning.
Oh this is a fic from back on the old forums, so I had the first 15-16 chapters already written from about 3-4 years ago, so I am in the same boat lol. And thanks, uploading the banner took a lot of work but I really fell in love with the image. It is awesome. And I hear you on the image uploading. I have several in my fic that were work for certain. Then tinypic.com got fluky and I had to use another image site for my illustrations. I wish there was a way to upload straight from my computer. I must have seen your fic if it was on the old forums! But I'd have remembered the banner and Hawkfrost and Ivypaw!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 11, 2019 21:11:54 GMT -5
Oh this is a fic from back on the old forums, so I had the first 15-16 chapters already written from about 3-4 years ago, so I am in the same boat lol. And thanks, uploading the banner took a lot of work but I really fell in love with the image. It is awesome. And I hear you on the image uploading. I have several in my fic that were work for certain. Then tinypic.com got fluky and I had to use another image site for my illustrations. I wish there was a way to upload straight from my computer. I must have seen your fic if it was on the old forums! But I'd have remembered the banner and Hawkfrost and Ivypaw!LOL I usually use Imgur but it wouldn't work so I switched to tinypic!! And I actually did this banner today; I don't even remember what my old one looked like. It's funny because I've never really seen anyone do IvyxHawk, and looking at where I was going to take this story when I first wrote it versus where I'm taking it now is actually pretty different. But you know how you change as a writer and as a person changes the way you write.
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Post by mintedstar/fur🦇 on Jan 12, 2019 3:35:06 GMT -5
I actually remember this fan fiction from the old forums, believe it or not. But then again, I was everywhere in the WFF at one time or another. But besides that point, I actually recently remember it, because back on the old forums I was hunting down finished fan fiction - and I remember you because you had a really good reputation for finishing your fics! So I actually read several of them, even though you didn't seem to be on the forums anymore. ^^ Hence why I was so excited to see this, because ... wow. Like, I aspire to finish as many fics as you did. CX
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 12, 2019 9:11:53 GMT -5
I actually remember this fan fiction from the old forums, believe it or not. But then again, I was everywhere in the WFF at one time or another. But besides that point, I actually recently remember it, because back on the old forums I was hunting down finished fan fiction - and I remember you because you had a really good reputation for finishing your fics! So I actually read several of them, even though you didn't seem to be on the forums anymore. ^^ Hence why I was so excited to see this, because ... wow. Like, I aspire to finish as many fics as you did. CX It is so hard to finish fan fics!! that's why I try to make the stories more manageable so that its not too much for me to actually write. Especially now since I have so much more going on than I did when I wrote all of my old fan fics. I actually forgot about this one until I saw a post on these forums be someone who was looking for this story and I think this was the only one I didn't actually finish. LOL I actually miss those days when I could knock out a project!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 12, 2019 18:05:26 GMT -5
I actually remember this fan fiction from the old forums, believe it or not. But then again, I was everywhere in the WFF at one time or another. But besides that point, I actually recently remember it, because back on the old forums I was hunting down finished fan fiction - and I remember you because you had a really good reputation for finishing your fics! So I actually read several of them, even though you didn't seem to be on the forums anymore. ^^ Hence why I was so excited to see this, because ... wow. Like, I aspire to finish as many fics as you did. CX Would you happen to know how to find another fan fic of mine from the old forums? I know that it might be possible I just don't know how. It's called It Has Begun- I have the word document but it's password protected and I've been trying for a month and I can't figure out what it is!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jan 12, 2019 21:11:43 GMT -5
It is awesome. And I hear you on the image uploading. I have several in my fic that were work for certain. Then tinypic.com got fluky and I had to use another image site for my illustrations. I wish there was a way to upload straight from my computer. I must have seen your fic if it was on the old forums! But I'd have remembered the banner and Hawkfrost and Ivypaw! LOL I usually use Imgur but it wouldn't work so I switched to tinypic!! And I actually did this banner today; I don't even remember what my old one looked like. It's funny because I've never really seen anyone do IvyxHawk, and looking at where I was going to take this story when I first wrote it versus where I'm taking it now is actually pretty different. But you know how you change as a writer and as a person changes the way you write. Oh yes I do know that LOL. The characters more often than not dictate the tale! My scifi trilogy started out a bit different than I originally intended and in the very beginning there was only two books. The middle one well, just popped up when added a cat character to it. Changed the whole course of the third book. And in my fic those characters often said "Nope I would not do that I will do this" Who am I, as their trusty scribe, to argue? That is weird with tinypic! I had to abandon it as my images keep disappearing from my fics! So went to Imgur and so far, so good!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 13, 2019 15:59:21 GMT -5
Thanks for looking though. I've been searching kind of all night and couldn't find them either.
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 13, 2019 16:04:55 GMT -5
LOL I usually use Imgur but it wouldn't work so I switched to tinypic!! And I actually did this banner today; I don't even remember what my old one looked like. It's funny because I've never really seen anyone do IvyxHawk, and looking at where I was going to take this story when I first wrote it versus where I'm taking it now is actually pretty different. But you know how you change as a writer and as a person changes the way you write. Oh yes I do know that LOL. The characters more often than not dictate the tale! My scifi trilogy started out a bit different than I originally intended and in the very beginning there was only two books. The middle one well, just popped up when added a cat character to it. Changed the whole course of the third book. And in my fic those characters often said "Nope I would not do that I will do this" Who am I, as their trusty scribe, to argue? That is weird with tinypic! I had to abandon it as my images keep disappearing from my fics! So went to Imgur and so far, so good!Oh they absolutely do!! The longer you spend with a story the more real the characters become to the point where you're just along for the ride, but that's when the story really gets good!!
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Post by mintedstar/fur🦇 on Jan 13, 2019 19:07:49 GMT -5
I hope you have some luck soon!
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 13, 2019 20:19:17 GMT -5
Me too but if not I have been thinking about writing an all new fan fic though I'm trying to make the story a bit more manageable before I do. I'm not trying to bite off more than I can chew and I want to finish it because one of my goals is to finish the things I start.
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Post by mintedstar/fur🦇 on Jan 13, 2019 21:26:33 GMT -5
Sounds like a good plan! Hope it works out, whatever way it goes!
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Post by phantomstar57 on Jan 14, 2019 0:31:56 GMT -5
Oh yes I do know that LOL. The characters more often than not dictate the tale! My scifi trilogy started out a bit different than I originally intended and in the very beginning there was only two books. The middle one well, just popped up when added a cat character to it. Changed the whole course of the third book. And in my fic those characters often said "Nope I would not do that I will do this" Who am I, as their trusty scribe, to argue? That is weird with tinypic! I had to abandon it as my images keep disappearing from my fics! So went to Imgur and so far, so good! Oh they absolutely do!! The longer you spend with a story the more real the characters become to the point where you're just along for the ride, but that's when the story really gets good!! I sure hope so! The characters in my scifi have been with me since around 1979. . .that is when I conceived them and their tale. After all this time, I feel like their scribe, LOL not their creator.
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Post by Sea Drops by a Bird on Jan 15, 2019 18:46:14 GMT -5
Oh they absolutely do!! The longer you spend with a story the more real the characters become to the point where you're just along for the ride, but that's when the story really gets good!! I sure hope so! The characters in my scifi have been with me since around 1979. . .that is when I conceived them and their tale. After all this time, I feel like their scribe, LOL not their creator.That's a long time! Lol they've grown and changed right along with you. I'm getting to the point in this story where I'm about to write the great battle so I went and re-read the last hope because I wanted to see what key moments I wanted to leave in or change and it still upsets me lol! Writing for Lionblaze is impossible because there is no clear definition of what his power actually is or what its limits are and Firestar's scene with Spottedleaf sets my blood on fire.
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