Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 10, 2019 1:12:46 GMT -5
That's the thing too though is that I dont know if I will come back for AetherClan. The recent situation that happened has left me feeling a certain way. I feel that I was too quick to blame myself for everything. And I know we've resolved this, but I take that attitude a lot when it comes to this rp. It's not healthy for me. Which is why, in the time I've been gone.. its let me think for myself. I dont want to feel embarrassed by my actions in the way that I am now. Even explaining this much feels like I'm putting too much out there.
But I thank you all for the kind words.
If any of you wanted to rp in DMs or something let me know. As of now, from here on.. I am going to be withdrawing from AetherClan. I do think it's best for me right now.
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 10, 2019 1:21:31 GMT -5
Also <-•Ryse•->. I'm really sorry you're going through that. I hope you'll be able to feel anywhere close to better soon. Really. ❤ ] |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 10, 2019 3:03:09 GMT -5
{ 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 Do you have any preference for how leadership of the clan is handled? I believe previously I suggested or planned to suggest a council of mods but I also think the only mod on is Ryse so I don’t know if that’s actually applicable lol. Also for your characters. Is there anything you want for them in terms of being written out or ignored or presumed dead? I wouldn’t want to make big character decisions (esp for Silverstar) without your approval. There’s also litters to consider. I don’t mean to pile all this into you but I’d much rather run it all by you than just assume you’re okay with whatever we decide. } |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 10, 2019 4:23:51 GMT -5
Maybe silverstar died some heroic death and that's what you guys can go off of? As for leadership.. preferably it would go to a mod. Anything else and honestly I'd prefer it more if y'all did a whole other clan or something. Just because I currently do not want to own or lead AetherClan does not mean I'm willing to just pass it off to anyone. I hope that's understandable.
As for any of the rest of my characters.. If theres questions about what's next I'd prefer to be asked. I'm not the one who has to deal with the character changes so I'll be easy about it and work with what's best for the characters they may have been involved with.
I guess at this point we're speaking as though I will never return to AetherClan. Silverstar to me is the heart of the rp.. so with her out. That kind of seals it. Interesting to me that this is how it goes. But trust me when I say that it's for the best. ^^
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 10, 2019 5:20:07 GMT -5
{ We could also say that Silverstar and maybe a couple of your other characters are on a quest like Firestar and Sandstorm w/ SkyClan. It doesn’t have to be final if you’d like the option open. But I brought it up bc I think in order to move forward and not get too confused or stuck we need to at least have a plan for Silver. However long you’re gone for.
I respect your decision and want to make things go as smoothly as possible for all involved parties. So whatever works for you and everyone else we should try our best to make work.
And I know I’m kind of taking initiative by asking these questions before anyone else but I want to make it clear that I have no intentions to try to take over for you or be in control in your absence or anything. I’m perfectly happy with giving charge of the clan to any member you approve of. I don’t even know if it’s coming off that way to you lol but I kinda worry that my wording is making it seem like that or something and I want to assure you that’s not the case. ^.^ }
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 11, 2019 16:37:18 GMT -5
The only reason why I feel i'm unable to keep my characters is for the fact that Silverstar wouldn't really be Silverstar without being leader. So stepping down isn't an option to me. And, if I am leaving for a time... you're going to need a clan leader. It would be really unfair to you guys if I kept my spot despite never knowing if I want to come back for it.
I'm not asking you in particular to make a new clan, i think i'll clarify in saying that if a mod does not take over the rp then any member that will take over the rp should make a new clan for it. I trust my mods most of all to take over AetherClan.
Honestly i'm not leaving because I want to cause distress for you guys.
It's because this rp becomes stressful at times. I just don't think i'm meant to be a rp admin. I can never crack down enough on members, nor do i feel motivated to update the front page, and even rping can be trying as nobody is here to do it when i want to. Especially the drama that comes with the role. And for someone like me, who's very sensitive and quick to take the blame for things that go wrong? It doesn't mesh very well. My mental state was really horrible during the most recent incident and honestly? i'm not down to feel like that. It wasn't the first time but I know it won't be the last.
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 11, 2019 17:08:48 GMT -5
{ I actually didn’t necessarily think we needed to really replace her. But if we do need a leader, she doesn’t have to step down to appoint an interim leader. Or we could have the deputy take the position after she’s gone a while and have a Nightstar situation where we have to deal with the leader only having one life. That could be cool to work with.
I’m glad you’re okay with a mod taking over and continuing here. We’ve all got a lot invested and it would be sad to see it go.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say we know and we’re gonna do our best to cause minimal distress for you in this process.
It’s definitely difficult when what you’re supposed to be doing doesn’t match up with how your brain works or what you want to be doing. TRUST ME, I know a thing or two about not fitting into a role well and feeling the stress of that. It sucks. And it makes sense that you’re feeling that way just with who you are. Back on the old forums I was in a clan called HoneyClan and it was a small cute little clan, but then the leader left and asked me to take over out of the blue. So I just...did? And it was a lot of work. And it wasn’t even a big or well-coded clan. Not nearly as much as AetherClan. So yeah leading clans is hard. I don’t blame you at all for getting to this point. }
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Aug 12, 2019 14:19:55 GMT -5
( 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 that totally makes sense! If killing some of your characters off makes the most sense to you then that’s what we’ll do. If you’d rather keep it more opened ended in the event that you come back someday, we could have certain characters like Silverstar just disappear. It could add an interesting mystery element if you ever did re-join us :3 Thank you for clarifying that and I do want to say that if everyone approves, I would be willing to take over Aetherclan in your absence (however long that may be <3) I’ve always enjoyed organizing and filling things in and gathering people together and I’d certainly be willing to try to be an admin and see how it goes  if it turns out that I don’t have enough time then maybe a new clan with any member who wants to create one would be best for the time-being, but i’d love to give being admin a shot if you’ll have me! I am really sorry to hear that it has caused you so much stress, because the whole point of role playing is to have a fun time creating stories and characters together and it sucks when that original goal is lost in drama :/ I’m really proud of you for sticking up for what you need and putting self-care first, and I want you to know I completely support your decision and have no resentment or negative feelings towards you for it <3) |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 12, 2019 22:07:30 GMT -5
Killing my characters does seem the best to me, or writing some off as if they didn't existed. It just sucks that this is the way that works best here for me as, tbh, rping here in itself is usually quite good. I've had fun even with the downs that have been caused by rp drama. But Silverstar has to die in order for my leaving to go over smoothly, i think. As her disappearing or going on a quest just leaves too much for me to clean up later. For the if. And i never planned on having Silverstar abandon her duties like that so lol not in character. Though once with her deletion, it sets in stone i'm legitimately gone forever from this rp. Which makes the action hard to 100% commit to for me. Even though it seems so easy right now, and feels that it's the right thing to do, I don't know if i'll regret it later. I don't want to regret it later either, you know?
If you want to take it over, all the power to you.
Thanks Ryse. I thought I was getting better at handling different types of situations but clearly that is not the case.
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Ðᴏʟᴄᴇ
there will always be those who dare to brave the lightning's glow.
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Post by Ðᴏʟᴄᴇ on Aug 12, 2019 23:06:41 GMT -5
Sorry for not being here to help with this discussion; I've been keeping up with it the past few days but I wasn't sure how to respond myself (still am not but whatever).
I will say Fi that you should do what you think is best for you, esp. if keeping the clan and being part of it is taking such an emotional drain on you. Obviously, I'll be sad if you leave for good (rip all our rps  ) but at this point it's also an understandable move imo.
As for a mod taking over the clan, I feel like I should put it out there right now that I don't plan to do so. Kudos to Ryse and Spotted for trying to get stuff done btw! I just don't think I'm suited to take over for the rp because I'm not really here myself. Honestly can't remember the last time I rped here and, as I said a few weeks ago, I have been feeling disconnected from here lately which is causing my current hiatus-for-the-foreseeable-future, and those feelings haven't changed since then. So honestly, at the moment I'm kind of just gone from here if that makes sense?
That's probably not really necessary for me to say since Ryse already offered, but I felt like I should put my own personal feelings out there. I think Ryse is way more suitable to the task than me since she helped plan AetherClan from the start. I'd be happy to help with anything during this power shift though, if I'm needed. ^^
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 12, 2019 23:43:47 GMT -5
{ I’m at the store right now but when I get a chance I’d like to address each of your characters specifically to make sure we aren’t overlooking anything.
If you feel that having all of your characters permanently removed is the right thing then I totally get that. I just don’t like making things final because things can always change. I respect your decision, but I still think you should be 100% certain before we do anything concrete. }
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Post by *Spottedpelt* on Aug 13, 2019 8:54:25 GMT -5
(Hey there everyone, I've been a little busy with work these last couple days but like Ðᴏʟᴄᴇ I've been keeping up with the discussion, just either haven't had time to say something or even know what to say. When I get off work today I'll be able to come on. I hope that everyone is doing alright!) |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 14, 2019 15:26:13 GMT -5
{ Hi guys. I should be very active today. I gotta get up and get settled but then I’ll post again. }
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 15, 2019 0:33:26 GMT -5
Hey guys I have been doing a bit of messaging with another individual about this whole process. They’re the one who reached out to me and I'm looking to heed their words in making this post.
Bottom line is that I don’t want to leave AetherClan. I want to stay. I've said so before. I meant it when I said a couple of weeks back that I'd hate to lose what's been built here. There won't be another AetherClan in my life, or anything nearly as close to it.
Starting off, it has never been about the rp or anything about you guys that have brought me to this point. I love rping and creating the good memories that we've had. ^^ Unfortunately, the reasoning behind it all lays in the drama. Whenever I have to deal with any drama involved here.. It really messes with my mental state. I don’t think any of you understand how much hurt I’ve had to face with being this rp’s administrator. This most recent situation with bun was not the first time i’ve been told I make others feel horrible or like they can’t do anything. I’ve been blamed for this and so much more. Panic attack? I've been blamed for it. Making people want to leave? Despite being blameless in such cases? I've been blamed for it. I've been the one to blame for a lot in 3 years. I've gone through a lot in 3 years. And it weighs heavier and heavier with each passing year. You never notice how vulnerable each incident makes you until another incident happens, and another one follows that. It's this terrible cycle I'm being subjected to and I've reached my breaking point.
I don't know what to do.
My feelings on this topic as a whole.. for awhile I didn't know how to say it. I didn't know if I wanted to say it. Am I not meant to be an rp admin? Is it because I can't take everything people throw at me? Because i'm sensitive and dwell on everything for long periods of time? Because I care too much? I don't hold any anger or malice of any kind towards anyone here. But I honestly don't know what the answer is. I don't know what I can ask from you guys to make this easier for me. What I do know is that I've been feeling a lack of support from you guys with this stuff. It's impossible for me to say it any clearer than that.
If you don't talk to me I assume things are my fault. I rationalize to myself why whatever reason may be my fault when things go wrong here. And can you blame me considering what i've had to sit and take throughout the years? I'm sorry I'm not as mentally strong as one should be in this position. All I can ask for is patience with me. And a willingness to understand.
I am explaining all of this as I feel it is owed. |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 15, 2019 6:08:19 GMT -5
{ I’d first like to apologize to everyone for not being on like I said I would today. My mom ended up coming home early (right after I got up) and it’s just been one thing after another since then. Also 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 I’d like to address your post as best I can but bear in mind it’s 4am so sorry if the wording gets weird at any point. I’m glad you’ve been talking to someone. It sounds like they’re outside the rp which could be good to have as a different and impartial perspective. If not then I’m still glad you have someone to talk to. It’s hard to not be able to talk honestly and messaging really gives that opportunity. I’m also glad you clarified that you don’t want to leave. I can’t say I was sure one way or the other based on our conversations so far but I think knowing that makes it easier for me to see where you’re coming from and try to figure it all out from there. I know you’ve talked a lot about just how much the drama affects you and that’s good because it keeps us more aware of our impact on each other I think. And you’ve had to deal with pretty much all of it being our admin. I can’t say whether or not you’re meant to be an admin. I honestly don’t feel one way or the other. There’s things you’ve done for this clan to keep us going and to keep updating and moving forward that very few other people do for their clans, and I hope you know how much we all have appreciated that over these last three years. But it also weighs on you a lot, and like you said you’re a sensitive person. Maybe there isn’t a real answer there. :/ I hadn’t realized you were feeling a lack of support from us. I don’t know exactly what can be done to help that since it’s impossible to know what we could be doing differently to help. As for me in particular you can let me know anytime if there’s something I could be doing differently to make things easier for you or anything like that. I’m glad you’ve told us all this. I don’t really want to assume but I think it’s safe to say a lot of us have probably been struggling with what to say or do. Even though we just recently had drama that’s obviously connected to this, it kinda seemed to happen all of the sudden. And I get that for you it’s been building and it’s just at a certain point now. But I don’t think we really saw how much it was affecting you long-term which at least for me made it pretty surprising when this all started happening. Now that you’ve explained better I have a much better understanding of your reasoning and your frustrations ( I was going to say qualms but I honestly can’t bring myself to use that word it just weirds me out). I don’t know if this is something you’re willing to consider, but have you thought about staying but not as admin? Temporarily or permanently? I don’t know how much that would help or hurt your situation but it’s an option that so far hasn’t been discussed and I thought I’d throw it out there. I’m going to bed now but I’ll check back to see if anyone’s replied in the morning. Love you all. xx } |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 16, 2019 3:47:40 GMT -5
{ I kept checking in all day but no one’s posted. Hope you’re all well and I’ll check again in the morning. ^.^ }
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 16, 2019 11:28:15 GMT -5
I'm waiting for the others for now, but I have read what you said Spotted.
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Post by *Spottedpelt* on Aug 16, 2019 11:42:20 GMT -5
(I'm off work today, so I've got more time. I'll be driving up to my other place in a bit but its only a couple hours so not bad!)
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Aug 16, 2019 16:39:45 GMT -5
(I’ve read your post 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 and I will respond after I’m off work because otherwise I’m gonna use my whole break to write a long post rather than eat xD) |
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Aug 16, 2019 16:47:47 GMT -5
(What I will say quickly is that I absolutely hear you, and am so sorry that you have been feeling a lack of support from us. I can go into my personal longer reasoning for being not able to be as emotionally present here when I’m off work, but I don’t want anyone especially our admin and dear friend to feel that way <3 I have confident we can figure out the best solution with some discussion one idea could be to have Fireh remain as organizational admin, and still update the front page and still keep Silverstar, but have someone else deal with things like member disputes, accepting or rejecting new members, etc- All Those things that could cause drama, we could have someone else deal with those parts of being admin so that you don’t have to handle that Fireh <3 I would be happy to take over any of the admins duties that bring you pain or discomfort, I really would love for you to stay with us in any capacity that you are able! If that means you need a break from the rp entirely, or from being admin entirely, or just from parts of being admin, that’s all okay :3) |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 16, 2019 18:50:43 GMT -5
{ That’s a great idea <-•Ryse•->. That way 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 you wouldn’t have to feel like you’re giving away your clan (even if it’s to someone trusted like ryse) but you wouldn’t have to deal with the drama. Just the fun admin stuff. } |
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Aug 16, 2019 20:13:32 GMT -5
( Okay here is my response outside of work :3 I covered most of my basic thoughts in the last one but yea! I am happy to hear you say that you want to stay, I had been a little confused given how excited you had seemed just a bit ago about getting going with the time skip. I know now that it was just the piled up negative feelings from having to handle so much shit from being an admin, and not actually you wanting to leave. Given how the drama (even when it doesn't involve me) makes me feel like I don't want to come on here, I can't imagine how it much be for you to be at the center of it all just because you're the admin. That sounds terrible and my heart is with you all the way <3 I don't know why it has become so common for people to blame their own personal insecurities or problems on others, when the issue is truly within themselves, and I am very sorry that you have been blamed in the past for things that were in no way your fault. You have just been trying to do your job as admin, and sometimes that includes enforcing the rules and some people will always be upset when anyone does that. I'm sorry you've felt alone in that, as a mod I should have been more active in assisting you with difficult situations and I'm sorry for my lack of support with that. I have been personally felt more distant from this site because everyday it becomes less about the actual stories we are creating together and more about us. While I love that we all chat and keep up on each other's lives to a certain extent, I come here to escape and it's hard to do that when there is drama happening. I want to come here, and I love these characters and the clan we have, I just think we need to go back to basics about why we come here because I think we're missing that right now. I also can't say if you're meant to be an admin or not, I suppose that's for you to ultimately decide and I can only offer you what I've noticed. When something happens here, you seem to take it very personally, as if someone had directly disrespected or harmed a loved one of yours, and that reaction makes sense because this is your clan. When drama happens you take it personally because it is personal, this is your creation after all. As someone who cares about you, I don't think it's healthy for you at this time to continue having the full pressure and responsibility of an rp admin. As I said in my other post, the options that seem best to me would be either: 1) taking a full break (with the intent on returning later). We could come up with in-plot reasons for your characters to vanish for however long and you could re-join when you're ready. 2) You could split the duties of admin with someone else (I would be willing to do this with you if it would help). You could keep Silverstar, and continue doing whatever admin jobs don't bring you those negative feelings and someone else could handle the confrontational stuff. 3) You fully give up admin to someone and function as just a mod/member (whatever you would rather be). If we did this and you ever wanted to take back the position, I am positive that whoever took over would happily hand it back :3 Those are my thoughts! I love you 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 and I am confident we go down whatever path works best for everyone :3 <3 ) |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Aug 17, 2019 0:45:50 GMT -5
{ That is certainly something to consider Ðᴏʟᴄᴇ. I personally am pretty okay with this kind of drama so I didn’t think of that. We could make decisions together as a council or take turns or decide on someone who’s willing to take all that on. :/ } |
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Post by *Spottedpelt* on Aug 17, 2019 4:07:44 GMT -5
Hey sorry for not being on sooner like I had promised, I had started writing out this response and then remembered I had something planned with some friends today and I got back late. It seems that a lot of my thoughts and what I wanted to say have been covered by Spotted, Ryse, and Dolce haha, they've all said some good points and brought up some good ideas. First off, 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃, I wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you've been feeling a lack of support from us, I had no idea you felt that way and I want to deeply apologize for not being there for you more through these hard times and drama within the clan. I'm also glad to hear you say that you don't want to leave the clan. You've put so much hard work and thought into this clan and created something amazing, I can understand what you say when you find it hard just to leave it. Drama is something that I don't like to be a part of, its something that none of us like to or want to be a part of, and when there is drama I just sort of shut off and shrink away from it, I just go quiet. I realize and understand that it's not that simple for you Fireh, being admin of a clan is definitely not the easiest job at times, when something happens its not that easy to just leave. I'm so sorry that you've been blamed for so many things, that is not fair to you at all, you're only upholding the rules and doing what's best for the clan, its members, and you. It's awful to hear that the blaming and all this drama over the years has built up and caused you so much hurt and stress. That's a lot on one person, and I can't even imagine how you've been feeling. I like Ryse's idea and suggestion on helping out with admin duties and taking care of stressful situations and drama! I understand Dolce's concern with it too, but maybe if instead of passing on the role to just one person we can all help out and have certain duties and roles that we take care of and maintain. I'm glad you're telling us all of this Fireh and letting us know how you've really been feeling throughout these years, it gives me and everyone else a better understanding on where you're coming from and why you're feeling this way. It also helps us know how to help you or what we could do to help you and support you more. AetherClan has become a place where we can get away from the real world, to relax, destress, have fun, and create fun stories and memories and we want that to be the same for you Fireh. We want you to feel happy here, and we'll do our best to support you and be there for you! <3 |
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if it turns out that I don’t have enough time then maybe a new clan with any member who wants to create one would be best for the time-being, but i’d love to give being admin a shot if you’ll have me!
) but at this point it's also an understandable move imo.