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Post by ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ on Jan 23, 2019 15:35:06 GMT -5
{ I’m crossing my fingers for you girl, I hope that everything goes well :c <3 }
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 23, 2019 17:24:27 GMT -5
{ Oh my, 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 I have a story for you that’s a bit similar. I’ll post when I get up. } |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 23, 2019 17:50:39 GMT -5
I'm trying to wake up again too.
I can't wait to read it, Spotted.]
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Jan 23, 2019 21:46:53 GMT -5
(Herro, I’m about to drive home and I plan to reply to chats and hopefully start some rps when I get there. Just a quick response for 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 though- my god I hate those situations. I’ve been in a couple, one with a romantic partner and one with somebody I actually basically considered my best friend at the time (I was realllly wrong about that one). In both cases, they were emotionally abusive towards me and would be happy to vent to me constantly without showing interest in knowing how I was doing. I consistently took on their burdens and worried about their problems and their lives because I too am a sensitive and empathetic person, and when someone close to me is hurting, sometimes it’s all I can think about. And it wasn’t until another friend pointed it out to me that I realized both relationships were actually terrible and that I would be better off without them. They too got angry at me, and told me I was being a terrible friend, when really I was just trying to save myself from a toxic situation. I feel you, I’ve been there, but yea as ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ said, you have no obligation to take on anyone else’s demons. Being friends with someone is a privilege, not a right, and she shouldn’t have abused your friendship in that way, and strong boundaries are super important and totally okay to make! I’m so proud of you for standing up for what is right for you, and I really hope it doesn’t affect your work environmeant too much. I hate when people judge others when they only have one perspective on the situation :/) |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 23, 2019 22:29:36 GMT -5
Thank you <-•Ryse•->It was just hard to really come to terms with the fact that she doesn't see what's wrong with herself and only tried to act like I'm the insensitive person. She made a comparison to her situation and to something that happened to me in the past and it really angered me. When I brought that up she tried to act like I should feel bad because I should have been sympathetic because they were "similar" and that I should be able to understand. I'm just so glad she's gone from my life. Not completely but well enough.] |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 24, 2019 4:28:14 GMT -5
ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ here you go love <3 ] Silas still couldn't find it inside himself to gaze back at the pretty she-cat. Even when she made excuses for his past actions. The guilt of it all bubbling more and more in his heart. But she was right! To whatever higher power if they existed she was right. He couldn't do anything on his own back then lest he wish to be killed right then and there for acting out. No matter how skilled he grew at fighting, there was no way he could have done anything of impact before he would be offed for ever trying. "I-I should have tried though..! I should have tried harder to do something.." He whispered while shaking his head. That day was one of the few days he felt like he could never forgive himself for. There were so many other things that he'd gone through but.. that was his tipping point. The utter feeling of weakness and self-hatred he felt that day only matched to when Augustpetal was swept away in the river. If he hadn't ever asked to go to the river that day then..
The tom was going to allow himself to dwell in his own thoughts before the she-cat spoke again. Opening his eyes to gaze at her as he did. Upon hearing her recollection, the loner's eyes widened. She... remembered that? With a shaky breath he confirmed her question. "Yes.. it was me. I thought of it as my chance to finally do something. To help stop what I had to witness that night. Your leader- not the one now.. was the one who directed me to help you back then." He recalled that night. The yowls of the AetherClan cats once they charged the rogues hideout. The battle that ensued right thereafter. For a couple moments he was left frozen as he watched everything that he ever knew unravel before his very own eyes. A unforgettable sense of freedom washed over him back then. For once he didn't feel like this weak, cold-hearted cat that Mei tried to shape him into. For once he could be himself! A tear slipped down the loner's face as he placed his head above Silverdapple's. Seeking comfort from the she-cat. Why did his body move in such a way when his mind felt so undeserving? Silas couldn't answer that question and just gave into it. He leaned into her gently before he spoke again. "I was just so glad that I could help save you. That I could save at least one cat from Mei's claws.." He choked out. The joy he felt when he safely brought her back to camp was unlike any he'd ever known. But he couldn't help the guilt that chased him once his task was complete. Even when Hawkstar asked him if he wanted to stay and join them, the tom couldn't allow himself to. Not when he'd already been involved in such a terrible way. Silverdapple might have forgiven him.. but it would take the loner an even longer time to find the will to forgive himself.
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 5:23:50 GMT -5
{ Agh sorry again my fam. I totally forgot about the internet thing when I posted this morning and had to use my phone all day again. So technically there’s two stories but I’ll start with this one: My friend Ruth. She and I were friends for a few years starting when I was in 7th grade and until I would’ve been in 11th (long story there, basically I tested out of school because I was at a prep school where the homework load nearly gave me a psychotic break—a fun story for another day maybe lol) so when she was in 8th grade through her graduation. She had lots of issues...and I say this with great love for her. I don’t even think I realized her problems for the first two years, but when I eventually noticed, I really noticed. She had severe social anxiety and paranoia verging on delusion, she was possessive and neurotic and emotionally abusive, and to top it all off I think she was on the psychopathic spectrum. She would talk constantly about how girls in her class hated her and were plotting against her and always talking about her (even when we knew they weren’t). She often freaked out when she didn’t have 100% of my attention, including one time where I went upstairs during lunch without telling her and she texted me 18 times about how she was worried I was dead, then screaming at me in caps to respond, then threatening to never be my friend again if I didn’t reply. I had been gone for like 20 minutes. She was also blunt and sometimes flat out rude in what she said to me and our other friend (who I was closer to and remain friends with), like how we looked bad in outfits or she hated something we said or did because it was annoying to her (whilst it was completely normal behavior). Then there’s the extra crazy bits. Like how she hardly understood normal social interaction, didn’t ever know when to laugh—and ofc for a while I thought she might have mild autism or aspbergers but then I started to notice some of the other related things. Like the fact that she casually talked about hurting people and wanted to ruin other girls’ lives because she thought they were laughing at her. And she had no remorse about it. Btw my other friend I mentioned has WAY more and freakier stories than me, cause they were closer than I was with her. One time she asked me: if I was presented with a clone of the boy I was in love with and he had a different personality would I love him too then proceeded to get frustrated and confused when I told her that’s not how love works. She was 16 at the time I believe. Her emotional development was seriously behind, but it often seemed like more than that. She would have breakdowns over tiny things and got angry so fast. It was kind of a nightmare sometimes. Even when she was acting totally normal, there was this weird sour, high-pitched energy radiating off her (I’m an empath soo) and it just put me on edge constantly. Then there’s the other story. Well, more of an admission. I used to be a lot like the friend you mentioned, Fireh. I was emotionally draining on my friends and drove a couple of them away over time. I could be extremely emotionally manipulative and never gave thought to anyone’s thoughts but mine. And it took me a while to realize it. That wasn’t until I left my school and honestly I think a big part of it was the stress combined with the complicated social dynamics of high school and undiagnosed&untreated mental disorders and raging puberty hormones (yay). I can proudly say it’s been a while since I’ve been like that, and I feel so awful for dumping so much negativity for so long on people I really care about. So even if your friend doesn’t see your point of view now or is offended or hurt by you stepping away, one day she’s gonna get it. And she’ll feel sorry. :/ So anyway, story time is over. I’ll reply to the rps tomorrow as I think my mom’s fixing the internet issue in the morning (and we all know I won’t be up until at least noon lmao) so good night everyone! Hope you’re all well. } |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 24, 2019 7:57:15 GMT -5
ѕρσσкуѕку that sounds awful about Ruth. I would have stopped talking to her a long time ago. Much earlier than you would have. Just because of all the stress that would have come with associating with her. I probably would have realized I had anxiety from her instead of my work lmao And about yourself. I'm glad you can realize the wrong in what you did. That you've learned to grow from what you did to your friends. I'm sure it hurt to have to learn but now you know and you're better for it. <3 While my friend apologized for making me upset in certain situations for this at the beginning of the conversation with her a couple days ago. She wouldn't admit that it was bad to expect so much of me. Was upset that I wouldn't validate her all the time. Or want to be there to listen every single time. She said it hurts that I felt better when I stopped thinking about her.. but what else did she want me to do, you know? Wallow in her pain some more? Because that's the only answer I can see and honestly it's really messed up. :/ But I do hope she sees error in what she does. She needs real help. Professional help. She can't keep acting like her friends can be her therapists. It doesn't work that way. And it's not healthy for her or her friends. I just can't help but feel bad because I know she has really bad depression but there's just nothing else I can do or that i'm willing to do. It sucks. ]
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Post by ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ on Jan 24, 2019 10:34:46 GMT -5
{ 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 ugh I love them sm } Silverdapple listened to his words, her heart feeling heavy as he spoke. She wished she could come up with the words to help him forgive himself, there was nothing that he could have done. She wanted to speak, to say something, anything even, to help him. The silver she-cat closed her eyes when he leaned against her for comfort, only wishing that there was more she could do. “You found your way out, though. You made it out of there and you don’t ever have to go back,” She meowed softly in a comforting manner. A part of her had known that there was something about him that was familiar, and when he stopped to look at her she swore that her breath left her body when he told her that it was him that saved her. “If you hadn’t saved me that day... who knows what could have become of me, I could be dead right now, or worse, following them. Not only that, if you hadn’t saved me you may not have been able to save yourself. You did what you had to Silas, and you did it right.” Her voice was still soft and she hadn’t looked or moved away from him. She only hoped that her words would help him see that his self-hatred for his past was only going to make his life harder. |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 17:13:51 GMT -5
{ ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ Sorry for the wait!! Should we stop SorrelRobin here or do one or two more before the skip? I’m fine either way. ^.^ } Sorrelpaw smiled, but there was a discomfort in her eyes that gave her away. “ Thanks,” she replied politely, though she had no intention of talking about Robinsflame and her feelings for him to anyone, let alone someone who caused her heartache just by existing. But she knew eventually she’d have to talk to someone—there was always Stormpetal, but since the two were from different litters it wasn’t like they were very close. Sundance smiled at the similarities between them. “ Yeah, Firesky was always the best. I didn’t mind though—I’ve never been very competitive.” She grinned at his question. “ Very,” she replied. “ I've always wanted to be a mother.” Then her gaze fell. “ I just wish that they could have a father to help raise them...” She didn’t mind the implication. She knew that most cats would look down on her for falling for a non-clan cat, but she didn’t think Ripplewave would be the type to spill her secret to everyone. |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 17:18:52 GMT -5
{ 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 Yeah, if it weren’t for her depression/anxiety/paranoia I would’ve stopped being friends with her long before when I did. It’s just hard cause she didn’t have many friends—just us two, really. And I felt bad. But I couldn’t do it anymore. It took a lot to admit that I’d been so hurtful to my friends, but it allowed me to grow up a lot when I did. So I’m happy with that.  I think she’ll feel like that for a while, but you shouldn’t stress about it. We all grow up eventually and she’ll understand sooner or later. Until then, it’s not your problem. It’s hard, like I said above, but it’s necessary. } |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 17:20:49 GMT -5
{ Forgot to reply to this earlier (oops) but Ðᴏʟᴄᴇ I’m glad Sorrel has a relative now lmao she was so lonely.. it was a bit sad } |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 17:25:33 GMT -5
{ 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ here! } Fallingsnow lifted her head from where she was sitting with it down at the voice of her leader. She dipped it in a respectful greeting, getting to her paws. “ We encountered a fox at the edge of the valley. It was young and hungry—we were lucky to escape without worse injury,” she explained. She took a moment to lick the fur on her chest where the blood had matted it, suddenly hyper aware of the wound. Then she lifted her gaze back to meet Silverstar’s lavender one. |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 24, 2019 17:33:50 GMT -5
{ Omg okay last one, sorry for spamming guys lol 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 } Sootnose was confused for a moment by Laurelsong’s comment before realizing what she was referring to. Yes, with warmer weather came more twolegs. Even the ones who lived there were more active in newleaf. After the relative quiet of leaf-bare, the clan wasn’t as used to dealing with them. But that would change quickly—they would soon be accustomed to evading the clumsy creatures once again. “ Agreed,” he replied. “ And keep an eye out for dogs. And kittypets,” he added. Hopefully they wouldn’t run into any trouble, but they should be prepared in case they did. |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 25, 2019 1:42:26 GMT -5
Yeah it sucks to deal with. I managed to get a shift tomorrow where I'll have to see her so that's going to be great. :b
I'll try to rp soon. But I might head to bed early too idk
Good day tho!]
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 25, 2019 3:33:18 GMT -5
{ Eyy it’s my birthday!!  Look forward to more rping tomorrow. ^.^ } |
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 25, 2019 3:37:02 GMT -5
<-•Ryse•-> I agree. I'm glad we've known each other for over these past 2.5 years. Some of us longer. But it's still great. I do appreciate all of you. Even if at times it's hard to balance that feeling and trying to be a better admin. ѕρσσкуѕку on that last note there. I'm really glad you came back and that you did try harder for yourself and for us. Happy birthday. Have a good one. You deserve it. <3 ]
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 25, 2019 3:43:25 GMT -5
{ Thanks love! <3 }
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 25, 2019 4:53:44 GMT -5
You're very welcome <3
once everyone submits their new characters that i've heard of I'll finally start updating the front page. So whenever those of you who have mentioned new characters/fixing-up-forms do so, i'll be waiting. :3
I have to mass delete so many people xD I think when we reopen i'm going to leave the medicine cat spot to active members only. it's hard to get new people in that position since they leave like 5 minutes after. ]
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Jan 25, 2019 8:53:06 GMT -5
ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ i love them too. this will probably be the only rp response ill be getting out for the next bit. ] Silas felt a soft smile appear on his face once Silverdapple's words met his ears. A shaky chuckle leaving him. She was really trying to make him feel better, huh? The tom could tell that fact so very clear. And while he wouldn't shake the feelings of regret so soon, he was grateful. It was as if there was an understanding between the two that the loner had never felt with anyone else before.
"Thank you Silverdapple... I.. I really appreciate it." He whispered. The tom closed his eyes and managed to keep the smile from swaying. "I appreciate it so much.." He finished off, fighting back the will to release a sob. His gratitude for hearing those words was all too real. Never once had anyone told him he did okay that night. That he was right in doing what he did. Even if he wanted to tell himself time and time again that he was doing fine for himself now, that he wasn't who he was all those moons ago.. He never could quite forgive himself. Nor was he ever quite willing to take up the challenge to face his past. And even if he did tonight, it was only a step in the process that he had to go through before he would ever truly get over it. But being as that was, Silas knew Silverdapple was key in helping him with it. Her forgiveness truly made his heart burst. A sudden warmth made way in his chest, contrasting the cold that he's felt for all this time. Had he never returned to AetherClan territory, he may have never remembered his past at all. It was bittersweet in all it's glory that Augustpetal's death caused this. In some twisted way, should she have not died he would never have met Silverdapple again. He never would have heard her thanks. He was fated to never to start the process that was forgiving himself. In some awfully sick twisted way he never would have felt this chain of emotions in his life. His past would have stayed forever locked away and forgotten. Painful as it may be to remember the awful things he did, Silas knew he needed to remember them. It just hurt him knowing that his beloved calico's drowning was the root of why he would be facing his past at all. Life made these types of things work out in such terrible ways.
The tom moved to gaze at the warrior now. Finding solace in their shared closeness. It felt wrong to be so close after everything that happened, but he couldn't deny that it helped him feel better in the same moment. Just being around Silverdapple.. helped him feel better. Silently he cleared his throat before he decided to speak again. "Nobody ever told me I did the right thing that night, not before you." He revealed with a soft voice. At first unsure why he bothered to say that. But he knew that the she-cat needed to know. He had to let her know that her words impacted him more than he might have been letting on.
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Post by ♡ Bun ♡ on Jan 25, 2019 13:22:43 GMT -5
♡ Bun ♡ here's the starter. I took a break with friends to make this up :3 ] Echomist yawned daintily from her nest in the nursery while blinking away sleep from her eyes. Once awake she looked out of the den entrance curiously. It seemed that the entire clan was awake already. Silently she gazed down to the kits that share her nest. A melancholic flicker in her teal hued eyes. Some time had passed since they arrived to the clan. And though she did try to help them fit in and grow comfortable with clan life, the she-cat knew it was hard on them. She released a soft sigh before she nuzzled their heads gently. Taking moments after to carefully rise from her nest and leave them to their sleep. Rest while you can. She thought wistfully before she decidedly turned away from them and exited the den. Sundance should be having her kits soon. The reminder clear once she caught sight of the other queens brightly coloured pelt. Hopefully they would be able to play with Augustpetal's kits even sooner. The queen had no doubt in her mind that even with her care.. they were lonely. Even though they had one another she knew they longed for the companionship of others. Everyone did at one point or another. |
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Post by ♡ Bun ♡ on Jan 25, 2019 13:23:26 GMT -5
You're very welcome <3 once everyone submits their new characters that i've heard of I'll finally start updating the front page. So whenever those of you who have mentioned new characters/fixing-up-forms do so, i'll be waiting. :3 I have to mass delete so many people xD I think when we reopen i'm going to leave the medicine cat spot to active members only. it's hard to get new people in that position since they leave like 5 minutes after. ] |
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Post by ♡ Bun ♡ on Jan 25, 2019 13:27:21 GMT -5
{ Eyy it’s my birthday!! Look forward to more rping tomorrow. ^.^ } |
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Jan 25, 2019 14:06:17 GMT -5
{ Eyy it’s my birthday!! Look forward to more rping tomorrow. ^.^ } (Happy birthday love!!! <3 I hope you have a wonderful day :3) |
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Jan 25, 2019 14:09:10 GMT -5
( 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 I totally understand how it could be difficult to balance those feelings, but at least in my opinion I think you’re doing a swell job :3 I know it can’t be easy to tell people you consider friends that they need to get their shit together (for lack of a better phrase) xD Alsoooo speaking of new characters, remember how I wanted to create Silver’s siblings? I totally still want to and I have personalities and everything just not a big long description so is it alright if it’s jusg short for now? It’ll be expanded upon in rp and I know what they are like :3 I also have other new kitties in a form on the joining page that are unfinished as well so let me take a look at those! Also! ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ we were going to rp Scarlet and Leopard right? Do u just wanna continue the older rp we had? We had hardly started and I believe Leopard had approached her while she was just outside of camp and it had been my turn to respond :3 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 is there any rp you’d want to start? ѕρσσкуѕку I’d love to rp with you again! Any ideas? :3 And if anyone else wants to rp, let me know!) |
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Non-binary
<-•Ryse•->
She needed a hero, so that's what she became.
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Post by <-•Ryse•-> on Jan 25, 2019 14:09:45 GMT -5
( 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 ღ ιcєƒιяє ღ is it cool if I have cinder react to the commotion that is happening in the medicine cat’s den?) |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 25, 2019 14:20:41 GMT -5
{ <-•Ryse•-> I have no issue with the Cinder thing. ^.^ Also we were rping Berryfawn and Sandpebble a while back and it was sweet cause they understood each other. We could try that again. } |
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Post by *Spottedpelt* on Jan 25, 2019 14:56:07 GMT -5
( Hey ѕρσσкуѕку Happy Birthday!!! I hope you have a lovely day!! Also did you by chance see my reply to Fox and Flint, I can't remember if you had replied or not I can always link it again if you need!) |
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Post by ѕρσσкуѕку on Jan 25, 2019 20:24:13 GMT -5
{ *Spottedpelt* Oops, no I don’t think so. I’ll check and reply if I need to. ^.^ Also thanks for the birthday wishes everyone! I love you all. <3 } |
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