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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 21, 2016 6:18:58 GMT -5
Elowen nodded "So do you regret having joined the military at all, then? Or are you just wanting to have a change in careers?"
It was a valid question. It sounded almost as if he wished he hadn't joined the army in the first place, though she suspected this wasn't the case. After all, he was a patriotic Roman, or so he seemed to Elowen, and she didn't think he would regret having helped to serve the Empire. But, who knows? Perhaps he did. Politics was still, after all, serving the Empire. She had learned that diplomas as important, if not more important - than military power, and she felt that Cassius probably shared her opinion, judging by everything he had just said to her.
This topic seemed, finally, to be one the two could agree on somewhat, and so Elowen had no desire to change the subject.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 21, 2016 7:30:04 GMT -5
"No, I've enjoyed the time I spent here. I'll probably miss it when I leave. But I can only do so much here, you know? I'm filling a spot anyone could take off my hands, and I don't like that. I'm replaceable here and that's the last thing I want."
He didn't regret joining the army, he never would. At the time, it had been perfect for him. As a man of only 18, settling down in Rome and spending entire days talking to much older, much more boring men had seemed like a ridiculous idea. And it probably had been. So he'd done what most his age wanted to do, he'd left. He hadn't missed home for years, even. He still didn't. But he felt as though he'd finished in the army. He knew that a lot of the other men felt the same way. Only half of the legion as it were now would remain when they left Rome again.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 21, 2016 7:39:58 GMT -5
Elowen nodded "I understand what you mean. Everyone hates that feeling. Everyone wants to be someone important. It just takes some finding, that's all. That important thing that also makes you feel happy, that fulfils you"
Maybe it was this desire, she thought, that had made her decide to take on the role her father wanted her to take. She had wanted to be something more, to find somewhere where she was truly satisfied. She just hadn't found it yet. Not quite yet. And now she probably never would. Not unless she grabbed every scrap of an opportunity that came her way. Her life wasn't a lost cause yet, after all. She was still young. If she bade her time an opportunity just might come her way. It might not be big, but it would be enough. Any opportunity would be enough for her, so long as she wasn't too picky about it. She couldn't afford to pass anything up.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 21, 2016 7:59:52 GMT -5
Cassius was silent for a few moments, pondering her words carefully. She was right, he came to realise. He was in touch with himself enough to know what he was feeling and what he wanted, he knew how to put it into words and share it if that became relevant. But he'd never been able to explain why he felt a certain why, the underlying motivation behind what he did.
"I think you're right," he said, nodding. "What's that for you? Have you found it yet?" He was curious because he hadn't. There were many paths he could take, and though he had months of silent marching to think about it, he wasn't sure he'd have made his mind up by the time they reached Roma again.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 21, 2016 8:12:21 GMT -5
"No," Elowen shook her head "I haven't found it. But I think I was getting close with the diplomacy - I enjoyed it quite a lot. But it wasn't quite enough. Not quite what I wanted to do. But I'm sure you'll find it, you know. Most people do, eventually. It just takes a long time to do it, that's all. It takes a lot of finding."
It would take a lot more finding for Elowen than it would for Cassius, she knew, but she was determined she would find something that would make her happy. No matter how long it would take her, she would find it.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 21, 2016 8:42:05 GMT -5
"Right again," Cassius agreed. "I'm only young still, it's not like I'm running out of time." He wasn't. He'd never had a problem with taking his time, it was routine he had trouble with. But patience was a virtue, especially for the Romans. Cassius was no exception.
"Do you think you'll find yours?" It would be harder for her. Finding happiness as a captive was certainly more difficult that doing it as a free man. Despite that, he found himself hoping that she would. He didn't want her to spend the rest of her life looking. She very well might, was the worst part, and there was not really anything he could do.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 21, 2016 10:29:03 GMT -5
At his question, Elowen shrugged "I don't know. Probably I will in some ways and I won't in others. I doubt I'll be completely happy, but if I try and I'm patient I could probably get close enough. That's all I can do really. I can't actively search for it, but I can be patient, I guess."
She had limited options for happiness. She couldn't chase it like Cassius, but she could lie in wait and take opportunities when they came. She still had a shot, and knowing it wasn't entirely hopeless, that she could still have a shot, was really quite comforting for Elowen. She had been so pessimistic about her future that she'd forgotten that the situation was far from hopeless.
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 21, 2016 12:52:01 GMT -5
Cassius nodded. "I guess sometimes that's all you can do." He sighed, closing his eyes for a breif moment to collect his thoughts. "I hope you find it, whatever it is," he said sincerely, opening one eye to look at her for a moment before letting it shut again.
"Who knows," he said after a while. "Maybe Roma is the place you were always supposed to find it." He'd always liked to think that humanity made choices first, but like most Romans at the time he believed in the old stories. Fate did play a role in whatever happened, he'd come to believe over the years, and thought he did not believe it to have total control, it was comforting to know that things happened for a reason.
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 21, 2016 13:22:29 GMT -5
"Thank you," the woman replied "and I hope that you find yours."
Then at his second comment, she laughed "You know, it just might be. Though perhaps this isn't exactly the way I wanted to go to Rome, I'll settle for it. Like I said, I always want to try new things and go new places, and Rome falls into that."
She truly hoped that he would find whatever would make him happy. It seemed like they both needed something like that in their futures, something to give them the satisfaction they craved so much in that moment. Something to show them where they needed to go with their lives. Maybe they would both find it, and maybe not. But they would try,
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 22, 2016 9:53:18 GMT -5
"It definitely does," Cassius agreed with a light chuckle, and then he was silent. This conversation had come to a natural close, he felt, and he had little to add. So, he didn't. He didn't mind the silence either, it wasn't like he was searching for anything to add.
"I'm going to head back," he said after a while. "I think the bleeding under control so I need to go get it rebound." He gave her a small smile and stood, wincing as the wound was once again stretched. "Are you going to stay out here?"
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 22, 2016 10:35:02 GMT -5
"No," Elowen shook her head "I'll probably have to go back to camp - the peace talks will be starting soon, probably, so I should probably head back right about now, before anyone wonders where I am"
She stood up too, returning the man's smile, as she clambered down the steps, feet light as ever, and headed down back towards the camp. She would probably be needed there before long, and the last thing she wanted was to get into trouble just as she was being given a little bit of responsibility and a little bit of freedom. She didn't want to jeopardise that so soon before the return to Rome.
[Okay, so how do you want to do the peace talks?]
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Post by 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘯 on Dec 22, 2016 15:28:20 GMT -5
Cassius nodded and turned to walk back. He was clearly favouring one side, doing what he could to avoid opening his wound than he already had, but he didn't complain. It wasn't half as bad as it had been when he moved to sit down, though he could still feel himself bleeding, and it wasn't that bad really.
He reached camp relatively quickly and split away from Elowen immediately, heading for a surgeon that might decide to stitch him up this time around. He hoped so, it would allow him some activity at least, even if it would also be confirmation that he shouldn't be patrolling the wall on a torn abdomen.
( hmmm... Cassius wouldn't be there, so I could take the Picts if you'd like? I feel like it'll be a period of shorter posts no matter what we do. or, we could agree on an outcome and just not write it.)
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Post by ƤαƖƖαѕ ✧ on Dec 29, 2016 14:43:27 GMT -5
(Sure, so are you thinking we agree and outcome and RP from Elowen's return?
As for outcomes, both might be interesting. It would be good for drama if the talks are not successful, but it might help poor Elowen get a bit of a break if they come to an agreement)
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