» C u r š ε - - || December Missing Chapters Event?? 10/30

Thanks for all the happy birthday wishes, everyone! I had a lovely birthday. ^^' I got a bunch of new books: King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo, Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer and Truthwitch by Susan Dennard!!! ( thanks tues for the rec :'D ) I also went out to eat, got chicken enchiladas, and then binged watched Marvel movies. It was fun.

Dingoleap : *screams with you*


Mᴏᴏɴ - - :Thanks, moon!! <3 I can't wait to see what you think!!!

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH, MOSS! <3 <3
*hugs*
I'm so glad it came out good and ended the story well. ;-; I was so paranoid lol 

I cried some more. Thanks, Dingo. D'x

I'm saving that message and posting it on my wall so I can look at it every day as I'm editing because damn, that's the reason I want to write, right there. Who cares about the possible fame or the attention when I can make people feel like that? Making people feel like they are seen, that they and their pain matters? The ability to INSPIRE and INVOKE feelings in people, that's the ultimate goal for me and my writing.

I wanted to write a story I wish I had when I began experiencing symptoms of depression. I needed this story in my life, and it's...it's just insane that you as a reader can get so much from the FAN-FICTION version of this story...imagine what this could become as MY story 100%?? With HUMANS. With BETTER, STRONGER writing and MORE TIME? I'm so excited and humbled and thrilled and scared...I just know others out there need this story. I want to do it for them, and I want to do it for me!!

A lot of the feelings (emotional) that Shadowface experiences are feelings I have felt in the past. Similar thoughts and expressions of grief and guilt and anger; all of it from things I have experienced and stories I have heard from others who have depression/anxiety. As for the physical pain; I've been lucky to have only broken two bones (elbow in Kindergarten, and shattered wrist in Sophomore year of HS) so I had limited knowledge in that regard, so I mixed in other people's stories with my own. But, the spinal injury came directly from a very close friend of mine.

Before I sat down to write the chapter where Shadowface broke her spine, I talked with my friend about his personal experience. *TRIGGER WARNING* When I asked him about what it had felt like, it had been at least a year since the attempt. I would never ask if I didn't think he wasn't ready to talk. But he did, and the things he told me I put right into the story. The feeling of everything (senses, pain receptors, the shock, ect) slowly coming back one by one, the idea of hearing your cells scream, the way the healing process worked; I basically interviewed him, and he opened up to me so much that I felt I had to include those details, not only because it made it all that much more real, but to honor him in a way, and to also make it relateable for people who have gone through similar trauma.

He's fine today. More than fine he's thriving! No longer does he need crutches or braces on his neck or back. He walks like a normal, healthy person. The only remnant of his injury is some numbness and tingling in his limbs every once in a while. He was lucky. Very, very lucky. Shadowface had supernatural circumstances that made his months long healing process happen in a few days. But she too will have lingering effects (the dent in her spine, some tingling, ect.) Probably more so because it healed too quickly, given the dent in her spine.

Gosh, I'm going to have to call him. Seeing you say that means so much to me, but to him?? I doubt he ever thought our talk would give someone that much emotion and strength.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. YOU are incredible, Dingo. I am so proud of you and so excited to see where you will go with your adventures into writing and comic art and beyond! I am humbled to have you as a friend.



I NEED TO STOP CRYING

Congratulations, Shadow!! Not only for finishing such a long and complex story, but giving it the perfect ending
And happy (late) birthday cx

Story time from me, even though I'm behind. Wheeee, still worth it.

While reading your post you made, about how you started this and why and what Shadowface was based on and who she is ...

There's a poster in my college's Disabled Students Programs office. Every now and again I look up at it and reread it. It isn't much, but it's always meant something to me.
It's just a word.
Disability.
But it looks like this: Disability.
I've always hated, hated almost more than anything, being told that I've somehow cured myself. Or overcome some great sin I was born with. Like I'm someone special instead of just another brain-type. Or seeing that sort of thing in the media. Or worse, not seeing anything at all. I always want to point at myself and say 'This is me. This is who I am. And I've learned all my live to grow with what I am. It isn't a disability. It's my ability. Because I can learn and be myself with it. I've faced a world where I'm not necessarily expected to succeed, but that doesn't mean what I am has gone away. I've just learned how to be a better me." What I always liked about Curse is Shadowface starts out in a place where she isn't expected to go on. And then she say 'NOT ME' (though possible _{'not me'} and keeps going anyway. And maybe she doesn't always want to, but she does and she makes it; with help. She takes her curse and doesn't cure it. It isn't removed. But she learns how to work around it, or over it, or through it, and even use it to get somewhere others might not even see a way to. Sometimes you get a disability. Sometimes you find out you always had one. Sometimes it's just some other challenge which you run across. But it's what you do with it. Days you want to curse your luck and days where you couldn't imagine living any way else. That's what I saw Curse as. (Also, it was Tuesday screaming 'Don't hurt my sons/daughters, you monster'. But you knew that already.)
And maybe I haven't worded this right or it's not that easy to see what that means, but this story doesn't make the challenges look like they're mountains out of mole-hills - but it also doesn't make the mole-hills look like mountains. It rightly feels like a life. Progressing ever onward, sometimes taking steps backwards, sometimes forwards (sometimes a lot), but always going through life. Good and bad. Which is always what my life feels like, and people don't always make it sound so easy - or so hard.
So when I read what you wrote about what Shadowface means and how she has a disability, I wanted to slap the table, pointing at the screen and saying 'Yes! Yes! That's me! That's me and so many other people (everyone, really)! That's what Curse is to me! It's life.'
So truly, I really want to see you make it to the shelves, Shadow. This story needs to be told.

Plus, I love fantasy, so there's that going for this story too. XD

<3 <3 <3
I'M GETTING THE HARD COPY MANUSCRIPT TODAY :'D 
Gosh, stop being so inspiring and wonderful. It's seriously making it hard to see the computer screen.

I didn't actually get pulled over that's me making a joke xD