adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 1, 2023 17:06:56 GMT -5
Adderrain 34 moon old small, tannish she-cat with blue-gray and black splotches. Despises all who she feels wronged her or any cat in another clan. Hopes to becomes deputy and then leader one day. Also very protective, kind, and aggressive. Greatly likes fighting if she believes that it is a fight for a good reason and will not hesitate to carry out another cat’s dirty work if it benefits her, but if it won’t benefit her she will not do it. Elmclan Warrior Open family She-cat Also could I be the suspicious cat? Tagging for Clan owners and roleplay mods! - Sand ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
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Bisexual
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Official Queen of Fan Clans
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ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Apr 2, 2023 8:38:38 GMT -5
Hello, adderrain! Unfortunately, we will have to deny your application. You have not used our form, and concerns about Adderrain must be addressed. You can fix the form and reapply, though.
The major concern is the clashing personality traits. Given how you have described her, she is extremely aggressive with no way to show her other traits. I do not see how she can be kind and protective while looking for a fight.
Her kind words would only work a few times at best before the other Clans would immediately recognize her and not get her the time of day. The same would apply to her Clanmates.
I also think her aggressiveness, even with the backstory of a rogue, would not fit ElmClan's current attitude. It would be a harsh reminder of their recent past under Ashstar, and they would chase Adderrain off instead of welcoming her into the Clan.
I do have some suggestions that could help make her more balanced. She could distrust outsiders. Perhaps this could stem from her being grateful for ElmClan taking her in. This would work well with making her protective of her Clanmates. Alternatively, she could be contentious. Her eagerness to fight would be described quite well by that word. Instead of using protective entirely, defensive may suit where you aim to go with her. Fervent could replace kind, as it would cover a broader spectrum. She seems eager to prove herself, which would be more suitable to use as a point for the three personality traits.
Now, we use one positive, one neutral, and one negative trait to keep the forms concise while also allowing room for people to develop their characters. It provides more of a tool for role-play than some may think. Good, somewhat broad, traits can help convey what you wish, so I often ask for context behind some traits. With the context you have given, this would be my advice.
As for her physical appearance, is Adderrain a diluted tortoiseshell or calico?
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 2, 2023 10:33:59 GMT -5
Ima just rewrite the whole thing based on what you told ne
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 2, 2023 10:37:36 GMT -5
Wait how long has it been since Ashstar died? Based on the similarities to Ashstar in aggressive behavior I got an interesting backstory if you would like to hear it
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Apr 2, 2023 13:30:47 GMT -5
Around 50 moons ago, with Lionstar's age, she became leader early in life. Wolfstar succeeded her after a little bit with the Clans sorting out what happened.
I am curious as to what you had in mind.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 2, 2023 15:37:53 GMT -5
I know you are Ashstar’s person so basically my idea is that when Adder was younger Mistclan and Talonclan killed her family and she barely escaped. About 20-30 moons later Elmclan found her and Ashstar brought her in, and if I have your permission Ashstar was her mentor. She stood by Ashstar’s side and idolized Ashstar till the final battle , where she turned on Ashstar. That would be the reason why Adder is so aggressive to other clans but not too hostile to rouges. However, some wonder if she turned on Ashstar because it was the right thing to do or because it was personal because some think that a few Elmclan warriors lead by Ash also attacked her family (if Ash was leader for short time then it would be while she was a warrior)
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Apr 4, 2023 4:29:35 GMT -5
I think both MistClan and TalonClan being responsible for her family's deaths are excessive. I don't know how big Adder's family is, and even with Songstar wanting to protect her Clan, I don't see her, Firstar, or Sparrowstar killing rogues unless provoked. However, Sand would need to say on Firstar and Sparrowstar's behalf over me and my assumptions based on what I know about her characters.
Given Adder is currently 34, I think she would be around 11 moons at the time Ashstar is killed if I calculated correctly. I did the math with the death, and it was 20 moons ago that she was killed while she was made leader 50 moons ago. (I was tired reading your post, so I apologize for the misunderstanding with the death.) Considering how Wolfstar came to power, about another moon or two would pass as Wolfstar was appointed via a competition.
Adder would have to be made a warrior earlier while Ashstar was alive, or she would be made one later when Wolfstar has his nine lives, as I don't see either rival Clan wanting to name her. (Not in an offensive way, but more of since ElmClan will have a leader soon, let their new leader do that.) That would be left up to you, as I can see Ashstar taking Adder in and making her an apprentice as young as three moons.
I'm not sure about the wondering with Ashstar's involvement in her family's deaths part when it would be one of the Clans that would have been involved in her family's deaths. If Ashstar was going to attack Adder and her family, she wouldn't have taken them in. Yeah, she did recruit non-Clan cats, but in her mindset, it is joining ElmClan or dying, which could conflict with Adder's idolizing Ashstar.
I am fine with one of the Clans being responsible for the deaths, but it wouldn't be completely on them. Adder's family would have to take some of the blame, at least for the escalation of their deaths. Given the insight, MistClan would be the best bet. It would be something more of an accident, most likely, or an event that shouldn't have happened. Of course, how Adder sees things are completely different. I want the "truth" behind these actions if that makes sense.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 4, 2023 16:49:08 GMT -5
I’m gonna revamp Adder’s character including age so she would be 7 moons when her family was killed, which would be w couple moons after Ashstar becomes leader. About 12 moons later she would join, and then she would be around 54 moons at the current time. I completely understand what you said about the two clans killing her family being unreasonable, so depending on whether I have permission from clan or clan leader owners I’ll decide which one killed her family, she and the only other survivor, her brother, got turned away by the other, the brother starved, and now Adder hates them both, though she would hate the clan that killed her family more.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 4, 2023 17:04:07 GMT -5
Depending on which clan did it, Adder’s family was either in a clearing on the Rustling Maple Bend or a place near firefly cavern
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Bisexual
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Apr 5, 2023 11:28:00 GMT -5
If you want her to hate both Clans, that can be achieved through training and living in ElmClan while Ashstar was the leader. I don't quite understand the need to make both Clans wrong her somehow.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 5, 2023 16:52:24 GMT -5
Ok I get it. Adder’s personality is that she hates both clans and I just didn’t think of that the fact that training under Ashstar would make her hostile to the other clans and she needs a reason to hate them. Thanks for all the help and advise
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Post by Sand on Apr 6, 2023 4:23:57 GMT -5
Hi! If you’re going to redo your form, please let us know when it’s finished. Remember to use the correct form as well. Thanks.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 7, 2023 16:31:56 GMT -5
K. Also I just tried to use the same format the person who had most recently had a comment on their joining form so sorry that I didn’t get it right.
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Post by Sand on Apr 8, 2023 3:55:52 GMT -5
K. Also I just tried to use the same format the person who had most recently had a comment on their joining form so sorry that I didn’t get it right. Sorry, but you should be using the form we provide for the role-play. If you don’t use it, then your form will be denied. Here it is: Name | Age[ Positive & Neutral & Negative ]one sentence description like the booksTagClan: Rank: Relationships: (mate, crush, or family) Sexuality & Romantic Preference: (optional) Other:
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Bisexual
#ffc5c5
Official Queen of Fan Clans
Name Colour
ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁
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Post by ʀᴀɪɴʟᴇᴀғ 🍁 on Apr 8, 2023 12:57:48 GMT -5
K. Also I just tried to use the same format the person who had most recently had a comment on their joining form so sorry that I didn’t get it right. I provided a link to the form in my first response. Considering you have not changed it to that, I will ask you to read the rules and the joining information again. This post gives me the idea that you have not read the role-play information besides ElmClan's main page.
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adderrain
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I’ll be off for about a month and a half everyone. Sorry just I got important stuff.
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Post by adderrain on Apr 14, 2023 19:18:49 GMT -5
I’m gonna wait a bit to redo my character. Probably about. 2 months. Sorry
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