Post by dinofelis on Nov 29, 2022 5:14:05 GMT -5
Has anyone read this deviantart fanfic: 'Brambleclaw tells the truth'?
www.deviantart.com/zilloclaw/art/Brambleclaw-tells-the-truth-938797065
Brambleclaw was standing over Firestar, who was stuck in the fox trap, the long, metal vine wrapped tight around his ginger throat.
Hawkfrost was at Brambleclaw’s side. ‘Kill him,’ his half-brother whispered into his ear. ‘Kill him now and you can have the respect and power you deserve.’
‘Yes,’ Brambleclaw mewed, his voice full of malice. He moved forward and reached forward to tighten the fox trap around Firestar’s throat. ‘Traitor!’ Firestar yowled.
-----
Brambleclaw woke with a start in the warriors’ den. What he had just experienced was a nightmare… about what might’ve been if he had made a different choice. His heart grew heavy again as he remembered what had really happened the day before. I killed my own brother.
Guilt stabbed Brambleclaw’s belly as he remembered piercing Hawkfrost’s throat with the fox trap stick.
The huge dark brown tabby tom knew had done the right thing. He had killed Hawkfrost to stop him from murdering a defenseless Firestar. So why do I feel so bad about it? Hawkfrost had been his brother and his friend. They had liked and understood each other. Or at least Brambleclaw had thought they did. They both knew what it was like to be judged for something beyond their control. But in the end, Hawkfrost had proven he was bad. He was too ambitious, too bloodthirsty… too much like their evil father, Tigerstar.
Why Hawkfrost… why did you have to choose to be like him? Brambleclaw asked in his mind. His half-brother’s words echoed in his large, pointed ears: “You care more for kin than for power. I don’t.”
But Hawkfrost had been wrong about that… well at least half wrong. Brambleclaw did think kin was worth more than power, but by killing Hawkfrost, his own flesh and blood, he had proven that it was not kin he held in the highest regard. It was loyalty.
Thinking of loyalty, Brambleclaw remembered another cat he wanted to be loyal to. That cat was sleeping beside him right now.
With his amber eyes he looked down at that cat now. The cat was his mate, Squirrelflight, who, much to his relief was still sound asleep, curled up by his side in a fiery ginger ball of soft, warm fur.
A nasty pang of guilt hit Brambleclaw’s belly. He had actually considered killing Firestar, Squirrelflight’s father. And she still didn’t know that he had been training with Tigerstar, in his dreams.
Should I tell her the truth? Brambleclaw tried to tell himself that there was no need. He had turned away from his evil father for good this time: he would never listen to Tigerstar ever again.
But guilt and shame swept over him again as he remembered that he was keeping such a dark secret from his own mate, the cat he loved the most, and how he had been tempted to turn against his own leader, even if only for a short while. The Clan never trusted you. They hate you… they hurt you… they abused you, said a nasty voice in the back of his head, they deserve to be made to fear you.
Shut up! Brambleclaw silently snarled at the voice, which immediately fell silent. He had made his choice.
But as he gazed down at the cat he loved, Brambleclaw again wondered if he should tell her the truth. But the very thought of telling her terrified him. What would Squirrelflight do if he told her his darkest secret? Would she forgive him? Or would she reject him all over again?
As quietly as he could, Brambleclaw got to his paws and padded out of the warriors’ den. He needed to think. He headed out of camp and towards the lake. He stopped and sat down on a hill overlooking the lake.
For a long time, Brambleclaw sat down on the hill, his thoughts whirling like a howling wind. What should he do? Should he tell Squirrelflight his secret or not? He was terrified she would reject him again if he did, and he didn’t think he could bear the pain of losing her again. But he owed her the truth didn’t he? He knew the whole truth about her, so why shouldn’t she know the whole truth about him? They were mates, and in order to be mates they needed to be honest and trust each other.
‘Brambleclaw?’ Brambleclaw's head shot up at the sound of a female voice. He looked around expecting to see Squirrelflight… but it was Leafpool, her medicine cat sister.
‘Leafpool. I didn't expect to see you here,’ Brambleclaw said flatly. ‘I... I often come up here to admire the lake,’ Leafpool meowed. Her eyes were wide and her fur stood on end. Brambleclaw knew why; she had seen him training with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost. She was scared of him. Maybe she’s right to be.
He stood up. ‘I won't disturb you. Squirrelflight is probably wondering where I am anyway.’ ‘No, stay,’ Leafpool told him. ‘There's plenty of room.’ She swept her tail to indicate the open stretch of grass that turned into WindClan territory where the ground began to slope down before rising up again to a longer, flatter ridge. Brambleclaw nodded and sat down. Almost at once his shoulders hunched and he closed his eyes.
‘Is everything all right?’ Leafpool asked quietly. ‘Is it Hawkfrost?’
Brambleclaw hesitated before finally responding without looking up. ‘No, it's me.’ ‘You can talk to me, you know,’ Leafpool told Brambleclaw. ‘I'm your medicine cat. It goes with the job.’
To his own surprise, Brambleclaw felt a ripple of anger. ‘But if you weren't medicine cat, you wouldn't have anything to do with me, would you?’ He flashed back at her. ‘Admit it, Leafpool, you don't trust me any more than the rest of ThunderClan, and you wish Firestar had never made me deputy.’ Leafpool bristled. ‘If you recall, it was my dream from StarClan that reassured Firestar you were the right choice!’
Brambleclaw glared at her. ‘I bet you wish you'd never closed your eyes.’ Leafpool took a deep breath. ‘I don't have to trust you, Brambleclaw. StarClan approves of you, and my sister loves you. I just hope you don't do anything to let either of them down.’
Brambleclaw looked at the ground. Had he already let them down? ‘Then what about yesterday? That was all my fault.’ ‘What?’ Leafpool looked shocked. ‘How can you say that? You saved Firestar!’
Brambleclaw felt even wearier. ‘I had to kill my own brother to save my leader. And I actually hesitated before doing. What kind of cat hesitates to save his own leader?’
‘You’ve made mistakes,’ Leafpool conceded. ‘But you're a hero in the eyes of the Clan now.’ Brambleclaw raised his gaze to her. ‘Really? Or do they think I'm bad luck because I haven't had an apprentice?’ Leafpool flinched. Even though he was still deputy, Brambleclaw knew many cats were still anxious that Firestar had gone against the warrior code by appointing him deputy when he hadn't been a mentor. And he knew Leafpool shared their fears.
Once again guilt, shame and self-doubt threatened to overwhelm Brambleclaw. Was yesterday's bloodshed a warning he should not have been made deputy? But if StarClan didn't approve, why send Leafpool the sign that had sealed Brambleclaw as Firestar's choice? What if StarClan is wrong about me?
‘I can try as hard as I like, but I'll never do anything right,’ Brambleclaw growled, his voice full of bitterness that startled even him. ‘I will bring nothing but trouble to ThunderClan because I was made deputy when I shouldn't have been. My Clanmates didn't trust me before: Now they will blame me for everything that goes wrong, every drop of blood that is lost. Whatever I do, I will destroy my own Clan from within.’
For a very long moment after that he was silent, with Leafpool staring at him. Then a question burst of him, even though he never told his mouth to say it. ‘Do you think I should tell Squirrelflight the truth?’
Leafpool stared at him for a long moment. ‘That’s up to you,’ she mewed at last.
Unable to stop himself, Brambleclaw went on. ‘I know you saw me in the Dark Forest, Leafpool.’ ‘Yes, and I can’t pretend it didn’t happen,’ Leafpool replied a bit more stiffly. ‘I know, and I’m not going to deny it, but for a while now I’ve been wondering if I should tell Squirrelflight.’
Leafpool looked uneasy. ‘I can’t understand the bond you and my sister share. I’m a medicine cat, so I can never have a mate. But I do know some secrets aren’t meant to be revealed.’
‘But if I want my mate to trust me, don’t I have to stop hiding the truth about myself?’ Brambleclaw pressed.
‘She might not trust you again if you tell her what you did,’ Leafpool warned him.
Brambleclaw sighed. ‘I know.’ Then he thought of something he hadn’t before. ‘But why haven’t you told Squirrelflight?’
Leafpool hesitated. ‘I wanted to see if you would make the right choice,’ she eventually replied.
Brambleclaw thought about that; had Leafpool really tried to have faith in him because she wanted to believe in him, or had she just been trying to follow StarClan’s will? Did it matter?
Brambleclaw spoke again. ‘I’m afraid of hurting Squirrelflight, and I’m terrified she’ll leave me again if I tell her the truth.’ He hesitated, then went on. ‘But I owe her the truth don’t I? She’s never lied to me. She would never lie to me.’
‘Of course she wouldn’t, she loves you.’ Leafpool mewed reassuringly, though she sounded a little bit hesitant.
A firm resolve seemed to settle in Brambleclaw. ‘I’m going to tell her my secret, and I’ll accept whatever decision she makes.’ He began to walk away. ‘Thanks, Leafpool,’ he said over his shoulder, giving the medicine cat a respectful nod.
Brambleclaw headed back to camp, knowing what he had to do. When he entered the camp, he soon spotted Squirrelflight by the fresh-kill pile, eating a shrew. He padded over to her. When he was no more than a fox-length behind her, Brambleclaw stopped, fear spreading up his long, muscular legs at the thought of what he was going to tell her. But then he remembered his own words and moved closer.
‘Hi, Brambleclaw,’ Squirrelflight mewed before Brambleclaw could greet her. She looked at him with a mixture of affection and annoyance. ‘Where did you go? I woke up and you weren’t beside me.’
Brambleclaw stared back at his mate. He wanted nothing more than to just stare into the depths of her beautiful green eyes, but he remembered his resolve.
‘Squirrelflight,’ he began, struggling to find the right words. ‘I have something to tell you. Can we talk in private somewhere in the forest?’ Squirrelflight’s eyes widened slightly. She hesitated for a moment before asking, ‘Why can’t you just tell me here right now?’ ‘Because it’s important and it should only be between the two of us.’ Squirrelflight’s eyes glowed as if she understood something. She smiled and said, ‘okay, let’s go.’
Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight headed out of camp and into the forest. Night was falling and the moon was beginning to rise. It was full and bright; a big, white orb glowing in the sky. As they walked, Brambleclaw noticed that Squirrelflight was keeping very close to him, her soft pelt brushing against his.
When Brambleclaw thought they were a safe distance from camp, he gestured for Squirrelflight to follow him into a bush.
Brambleclaw sat down and Squirrelflight did the same. They stared at each other. Brambleclaw was trembling, fear worming in his belly at the thought of what he was going to tell her. But he had to do this.
‘Squirrelflight…I’ he began, but she overrode him. ‘It’s okay Brambleclaw. I know what you’re going to say.’
‘You…you do?’ Brambleclaw stammered. To his surprise, she was smiling warmly. ‘Of course,’ she mewed and pressed herself against him. ‘You want to mate with me don’t you?’
‘What?’ Brambleclaw sputtered. He was shocked. He pulled away from her. ‘No,’ he stammered, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s not what I wanted to say.’
‘Oh,’ Squirrelflight looked surprised, disappointed and confused. ‘But don’t you want to mate with me?’ ‘Of course I do,’ Brambleclaw blurted out. He wanted to be completely honest with her. In truth, he had wanted more than anything than to mate with Squirrelflight for a long time. ‘But that’s not why I brought you here.’
‘Then why?’ Squirrelflight asked, her confusion giving way to curiosity.
For a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Brambleclaw hesitated. How would she react? Would she find it in her heart to forgive him and stay with him? Or would she be so angry that she would reject him forever? Would she ever look at him the same way again? Deep down, Brambleclaw was certain it was the latter.
But then his resolve returned. She deserves to know the truth.
‘I’ve been concealing something from you Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw began softly. ‘Can you please let me tell you all of it without interrupting?’ Squirrelflight hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
Brambleclaw took a deep breath and began to tell her. He told her about how after their quarrels he had met with Tigerstar in the Dark Forest and at first rejected him, but eventually trained with him and Hawkfrost, believing it would him a better warrior. He told her about how he had felt the whole time about her and his kin, how hurt he had felt because she broke up with him for befriending Hawkfrost, and how angry he felt about some of the Clan still not trusting him. How he had been briefly tempted to take over the Clans because he thought he could make them better. He told her about how he had struggled with the temptation to kill Firestar to take his place, but had instead killed Hawkfrost.
With each word he spoke, Squirrelflight’s green eyes grew wider with shock and horror, but she didn’t interrupt. After he finally finished his story, Brambleclaw dipped his huge head. ‘I am so sorry, Squirrelflight, for everything. I should have listened to you about Hawkfrost. And I should never have even hesitated to save your father. And I have told you what I was doing long ago.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’ Squirrelflight growled, her green eyes narrowing and sharp claws digging into the ground.
Brambleclaw’s lip trembled, but he forced himself to answer. ‘Because I was afraid you would leave me again. I didn’t want to lose you again.’
‘So why are you telling me now?’
‘Because…because I love you. I know the whole truth about you, so you deserve to know the whole truth about me.’
Squirrelflight continued to stare at him, her green gaze unreadable.
‘I’m so sorry Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw mewed, meaning it with every fiber of his being. ‘I know there’s no excuse for what I did. I understand if you can never forgive me, but I promise you, I have turned my back on Tigerstar for good. I’ll accept whatever decision you make.’ Brambleclaw closed his eyes, and readied himself for her rejection.
For a very long moment, there was total silence.
Then, Brambleclaw felt Squirrelflight press her muzzle against him. He opened his eyes in shock. ‘Stupid furball. I forgive you.’
‘You…you forgive me?’ Brambleclaw stammered. This wasn’t what he had expected at all. ‘But I…’ He began, but stopped as Squirrelflight pulled away and looked into his eyes, at the same time covering his mouth with her tail tip.
‘I don’t need to tell you that what you did with Tigerstar was wrong and stupid,’ she began sternly. ‘But you’ve made up for it,’ she added more softly. ‘You saved my father from being murdered.’
‘Besides,’ Squirrelflight went on softly. ‘I think deep down, I always knew. That’s why I was so angry with you.’
Squirrelflight pressed herself against Brambleclaw, who just stared down at her, still unable to believe that she hadn’t rejected him.
Eventually, Squirrelflight looked up at Brambleclaw, and then mewed. ‘Brambleclaw, since I’ve forgiven you, can you ever forgive me?’
‘Forgive you?’ Brambleclaw asked, confused. ‘Forgive you for what?’ You did nothing wrong.’
‘No I did,’ Squirrelflight insisted. ‘I may have been right about Hawkfrost, but I should’ve been kinder to you. I accused you of being disloyal before you had actually done anything disloyal. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve made a greater effort to understand your feelings; your loneliness and your desire to be friends with him. I shouldn’t have said all those bad things to you. Please forgive me, Brambleclaw.’
For a moment, Brambleclaw was plunged back into the bitter memories if all the times Squirrelflight had snapped at him, insulted him, accused him of being disloyal to ThunderClan…to her, just because he was talking nicely to Hawkfrost.
But he quickly let it go. ‘I forgive you Squirrelflight. Besides, your mistakes don’t excuse my own.’
‘We’ve both made mistakes, but we need to trust each other now.’ Squirrelflight mewed. ‘I know,’ Brambleclaw replied. ‘We’re mates after all.’
‘From now on we’ll share everything with each other…all our worries and joys.’ Squirrelflight mewed decisively.
‘Yes. No more secrets. We’ll make our decisions together.’ Brambleclaw mewed in agreement.
‘Shall we make this promise together?’ Squirrelflight asked. ‘Of course. I promise.’ Brambleclaw promised. ‘I promise,’ Squirrelflight responded.
‘I promise.’ They mewed decisively together.
Then, without even thinking about it, they added. ‘We promise.’
For a long moment, the two cats stared at each other, their eyes filled with love and trust. Then, they embraced, their love engulfing them. Squirrelflight tenderly nuzzled her nose deep into Brambleclaw’s neck fur, while Brambleclaw gently rubbed Squirrelflight’s soft back.
‘I love you Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw murmured.
‘I love you too Brambleclaw,’ Squirrelflight replied.
www.deviantart.com/zilloclaw/art/Brambleclaw-tells-the-truth-938797065
Brambleclaw was standing over Firestar, who was stuck in the fox trap, the long, metal vine wrapped tight around his ginger throat.
Hawkfrost was at Brambleclaw’s side. ‘Kill him,’ his half-brother whispered into his ear. ‘Kill him now and you can have the respect and power you deserve.’
‘Yes,’ Brambleclaw mewed, his voice full of malice. He moved forward and reached forward to tighten the fox trap around Firestar’s throat. ‘Traitor!’ Firestar yowled.
-----
Brambleclaw woke with a start in the warriors’ den. What he had just experienced was a nightmare… about what might’ve been if he had made a different choice. His heart grew heavy again as he remembered what had really happened the day before. I killed my own brother.
Guilt stabbed Brambleclaw’s belly as he remembered piercing Hawkfrost’s throat with the fox trap stick.
The huge dark brown tabby tom knew had done the right thing. He had killed Hawkfrost to stop him from murdering a defenseless Firestar. So why do I feel so bad about it? Hawkfrost had been his brother and his friend. They had liked and understood each other. Or at least Brambleclaw had thought they did. They both knew what it was like to be judged for something beyond their control. But in the end, Hawkfrost had proven he was bad. He was too ambitious, too bloodthirsty… too much like their evil father, Tigerstar.
Why Hawkfrost… why did you have to choose to be like him? Brambleclaw asked in his mind. His half-brother’s words echoed in his large, pointed ears: “You care more for kin than for power. I don’t.”
But Hawkfrost had been wrong about that… well at least half wrong. Brambleclaw did think kin was worth more than power, but by killing Hawkfrost, his own flesh and blood, he had proven that it was not kin he held in the highest regard. It was loyalty.
Thinking of loyalty, Brambleclaw remembered another cat he wanted to be loyal to. That cat was sleeping beside him right now.
With his amber eyes he looked down at that cat now. The cat was his mate, Squirrelflight, who, much to his relief was still sound asleep, curled up by his side in a fiery ginger ball of soft, warm fur.
A nasty pang of guilt hit Brambleclaw’s belly. He had actually considered killing Firestar, Squirrelflight’s father. And she still didn’t know that he had been training with Tigerstar, in his dreams.
Should I tell her the truth? Brambleclaw tried to tell himself that there was no need. He had turned away from his evil father for good this time: he would never listen to Tigerstar ever again.
But guilt and shame swept over him again as he remembered that he was keeping such a dark secret from his own mate, the cat he loved the most, and how he had been tempted to turn against his own leader, even if only for a short while. The Clan never trusted you. They hate you… they hurt you… they abused you, said a nasty voice in the back of his head, they deserve to be made to fear you.
Shut up! Brambleclaw silently snarled at the voice, which immediately fell silent. He had made his choice.
But as he gazed down at the cat he loved, Brambleclaw again wondered if he should tell her the truth. But the very thought of telling her terrified him. What would Squirrelflight do if he told her his darkest secret? Would she forgive him? Or would she reject him all over again?
As quietly as he could, Brambleclaw got to his paws and padded out of the warriors’ den. He needed to think. He headed out of camp and towards the lake. He stopped and sat down on a hill overlooking the lake.
For a long time, Brambleclaw sat down on the hill, his thoughts whirling like a howling wind. What should he do? Should he tell Squirrelflight his secret or not? He was terrified she would reject him again if he did, and he didn’t think he could bear the pain of losing her again. But he owed her the truth didn’t he? He knew the whole truth about her, so why shouldn’t she know the whole truth about him? They were mates, and in order to be mates they needed to be honest and trust each other.
‘Brambleclaw?’ Brambleclaw's head shot up at the sound of a female voice. He looked around expecting to see Squirrelflight… but it was Leafpool, her medicine cat sister.
‘Leafpool. I didn't expect to see you here,’ Brambleclaw said flatly. ‘I... I often come up here to admire the lake,’ Leafpool meowed. Her eyes were wide and her fur stood on end. Brambleclaw knew why; she had seen him training with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost. She was scared of him. Maybe she’s right to be.
He stood up. ‘I won't disturb you. Squirrelflight is probably wondering where I am anyway.’ ‘No, stay,’ Leafpool told him. ‘There's plenty of room.’ She swept her tail to indicate the open stretch of grass that turned into WindClan territory where the ground began to slope down before rising up again to a longer, flatter ridge. Brambleclaw nodded and sat down. Almost at once his shoulders hunched and he closed his eyes.
‘Is everything all right?’ Leafpool asked quietly. ‘Is it Hawkfrost?’
Brambleclaw hesitated before finally responding without looking up. ‘No, it's me.’ ‘You can talk to me, you know,’ Leafpool told Brambleclaw. ‘I'm your medicine cat. It goes with the job.’
To his own surprise, Brambleclaw felt a ripple of anger. ‘But if you weren't medicine cat, you wouldn't have anything to do with me, would you?’ He flashed back at her. ‘Admit it, Leafpool, you don't trust me any more than the rest of ThunderClan, and you wish Firestar had never made me deputy.’ Leafpool bristled. ‘If you recall, it was my dream from StarClan that reassured Firestar you were the right choice!’
Brambleclaw glared at her. ‘I bet you wish you'd never closed your eyes.’ Leafpool took a deep breath. ‘I don't have to trust you, Brambleclaw. StarClan approves of you, and my sister loves you. I just hope you don't do anything to let either of them down.’
Brambleclaw looked at the ground. Had he already let them down? ‘Then what about yesterday? That was all my fault.’ ‘What?’ Leafpool looked shocked. ‘How can you say that? You saved Firestar!’
Brambleclaw felt even wearier. ‘I had to kill my own brother to save my leader. And I actually hesitated before doing. What kind of cat hesitates to save his own leader?’
‘You’ve made mistakes,’ Leafpool conceded. ‘But you're a hero in the eyes of the Clan now.’ Brambleclaw raised his gaze to her. ‘Really? Or do they think I'm bad luck because I haven't had an apprentice?’ Leafpool flinched. Even though he was still deputy, Brambleclaw knew many cats were still anxious that Firestar had gone against the warrior code by appointing him deputy when he hadn't been a mentor. And he knew Leafpool shared their fears.
Once again guilt, shame and self-doubt threatened to overwhelm Brambleclaw. Was yesterday's bloodshed a warning he should not have been made deputy? But if StarClan didn't approve, why send Leafpool the sign that had sealed Brambleclaw as Firestar's choice? What if StarClan is wrong about me?
‘I can try as hard as I like, but I'll never do anything right,’ Brambleclaw growled, his voice full of bitterness that startled even him. ‘I will bring nothing but trouble to ThunderClan because I was made deputy when I shouldn't have been. My Clanmates didn't trust me before: Now they will blame me for everything that goes wrong, every drop of blood that is lost. Whatever I do, I will destroy my own Clan from within.’
For a very long moment after that he was silent, with Leafpool staring at him. Then a question burst of him, even though he never told his mouth to say it. ‘Do you think I should tell Squirrelflight the truth?’
Leafpool stared at him for a long moment. ‘That’s up to you,’ she mewed at last.
Unable to stop himself, Brambleclaw went on. ‘I know you saw me in the Dark Forest, Leafpool.’ ‘Yes, and I can’t pretend it didn’t happen,’ Leafpool replied a bit more stiffly. ‘I know, and I’m not going to deny it, but for a while now I’ve been wondering if I should tell Squirrelflight.’
Leafpool looked uneasy. ‘I can’t understand the bond you and my sister share. I’m a medicine cat, so I can never have a mate. But I do know some secrets aren’t meant to be revealed.’
‘But if I want my mate to trust me, don’t I have to stop hiding the truth about myself?’ Brambleclaw pressed.
‘She might not trust you again if you tell her what you did,’ Leafpool warned him.
Brambleclaw sighed. ‘I know.’ Then he thought of something he hadn’t before. ‘But why haven’t you told Squirrelflight?’
Leafpool hesitated. ‘I wanted to see if you would make the right choice,’ she eventually replied.
Brambleclaw thought about that; had Leafpool really tried to have faith in him because she wanted to believe in him, or had she just been trying to follow StarClan’s will? Did it matter?
Brambleclaw spoke again. ‘I’m afraid of hurting Squirrelflight, and I’m terrified she’ll leave me again if I tell her the truth.’ He hesitated, then went on. ‘But I owe her the truth don’t I? She’s never lied to me. She would never lie to me.’
‘Of course she wouldn’t, she loves you.’ Leafpool mewed reassuringly, though she sounded a little bit hesitant.
A firm resolve seemed to settle in Brambleclaw. ‘I’m going to tell her my secret, and I’ll accept whatever decision she makes.’ He began to walk away. ‘Thanks, Leafpool,’ he said over his shoulder, giving the medicine cat a respectful nod.
Brambleclaw headed back to camp, knowing what he had to do. When he entered the camp, he soon spotted Squirrelflight by the fresh-kill pile, eating a shrew. He padded over to her. When he was no more than a fox-length behind her, Brambleclaw stopped, fear spreading up his long, muscular legs at the thought of what he was going to tell her. But then he remembered his own words and moved closer.
‘Hi, Brambleclaw,’ Squirrelflight mewed before Brambleclaw could greet her. She looked at him with a mixture of affection and annoyance. ‘Where did you go? I woke up and you weren’t beside me.’
Brambleclaw stared back at his mate. He wanted nothing more than to just stare into the depths of her beautiful green eyes, but he remembered his resolve.
‘Squirrelflight,’ he began, struggling to find the right words. ‘I have something to tell you. Can we talk in private somewhere in the forest?’ Squirrelflight’s eyes widened slightly. She hesitated for a moment before asking, ‘Why can’t you just tell me here right now?’ ‘Because it’s important and it should only be between the two of us.’ Squirrelflight’s eyes glowed as if she understood something. She smiled and said, ‘okay, let’s go.’
Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight headed out of camp and into the forest. Night was falling and the moon was beginning to rise. It was full and bright; a big, white orb glowing in the sky. As they walked, Brambleclaw noticed that Squirrelflight was keeping very close to him, her soft pelt brushing against his.
When Brambleclaw thought they were a safe distance from camp, he gestured for Squirrelflight to follow him into a bush.
Brambleclaw sat down and Squirrelflight did the same. They stared at each other. Brambleclaw was trembling, fear worming in his belly at the thought of what he was going to tell her. But he had to do this.
‘Squirrelflight…I’ he began, but she overrode him. ‘It’s okay Brambleclaw. I know what you’re going to say.’
‘You…you do?’ Brambleclaw stammered. To his surprise, she was smiling warmly. ‘Of course,’ she mewed and pressed herself against him. ‘You want to mate with me don’t you?’
‘What?’ Brambleclaw sputtered. He was shocked. He pulled away from her. ‘No,’ he stammered, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s not what I wanted to say.’
‘Oh,’ Squirrelflight looked surprised, disappointed and confused. ‘But don’t you want to mate with me?’ ‘Of course I do,’ Brambleclaw blurted out. He wanted to be completely honest with her. In truth, he had wanted more than anything than to mate with Squirrelflight for a long time. ‘But that’s not why I brought you here.’
‘Then why?’ Squirrelflight asked, her confusion giving way to curiosity.
For a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Brambleclaw hesitated. How would she react? Would she find it in her heart to forgive him and stay with him? Or would she be so angry that she would reject him forever? Would she ever look at him the same way again? Deep down, Brambleclaw was certain it was the latter.
But then his resolve returned. She deserves to know the truth.
‘I’ve been concealing something from you Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw began softly. ‘Can you please let me tell you all of it without interrupting?’ Squirrelflight hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
Brambleclaw took a deep breath and began to tell her. He told her about how after their quarrels he had met with Tigerstar in the Dark Forest and at first rejected him, but eventually trained with him and Hawkfrost, believing it would him a better warrior. He told her about how he had felt the whole time about her and his kin, how hurt he had felt because she broke up with him for befriending Hawkfrost, and how angry he felt about some of the Clan still not trusting him. How he had been briefly tempted to take over the Clans because he thought he could make them better. He told her about how he had struggled with the temptation to kill Firestar to take his place, but had instead killed Hawkfrost.
With each word he spoke, Squirrelflight’s green eyes grew wider with shock and horror, but she didn’t interrupt. After he finally finished his story, Brambleclaw dipped his huge head. ‘I am so sorry, Squirrelflight, for everything. I should have listened to you about Hawkfrost. And I should never have even hesitated to save your father. And I have told you what I was doing long ago.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’ Squirrelflight growled, her green eyes narrowing and sharp claws digging into the ground.
Brambleclaw’s lip trembled, but he forced himself to answer. ‘Because I was afraid you would leave me again. I didn’t want to lose you again.’
‘So why are you telling me now?’
‘Because…because I love you. I know the whole truth about you, so you deserve to know the whole truth about me.’
Squirrelflight continued to stare at him, her green gaze unreadable.
‘I’m so sorry Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw mewed, meaning it with every fiber of his being. ‘I know there’s no excuse for what I did. I understand if you can never forgive me, but I promise you, I have turned my back on Tigerstar for good. I’ll accept whatever decision you make.’ Brambleclaw closed his eyes, and readied himself for her rejection.
For a very long moment, there was total silence.
Then, Brambleclaw felt Squirrelflight press her muzzle against him. He opened his eyes in shock. ‘Stupid furball. I forgive you.’
‘You…you forgive me?’ Brambleclaw stammered. This wasn’t what he had expected at all. ‘But I…’ He began, but stopped as Squirrelflight pulled away and looked into his eyes, at the same time covering his mouth with her tail tip.
‘I don’t need to tell you that what you did with Tigerstar was wrong and stupid,’ she began sternly. ‘But you’ve made up for it,’ she added more softly. ‘You saved my father from being murdered.’
‘Besides,’ Squirrelflight went on softly. ‘I think deep down, I always knew. That’s why I was so angry with you.’
Squirrelflight pressed herself against Brambleclaw, who just stared down at her, still unable to believe that she hadn’t rejected him.
Eventually, Squirrelflight looked up at Brambleclaw, and then mewed. ‘Brambleclaw, since I’ve forgiven you, can you ever forgive me?’
‘Forgive you?’ Brambleclaw asked, confused. ‘Forgive you for what?’ You did nothing wrong.’
‘No I did,’ Squirrelflight insisted. ‘I may have been right about Hawkfrost, but I should’ve been kinder to you. I accused you of being disloyal before you had actually done anything disloyal. I shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve made a greater effort to understand your feelings; your loneliness and your desire to be friends with him. I shouldn’t have said all those bad things to you. Please forgive me, Brambleclaw.’
For a moment, Brambleclaw was plunged back into the bitter memories if all the times Squirrelflight had snapped at him, insulted him, accused him of being disloyal to ThunderClan…to her, just because he was talking nicely to Hawkfrost.
But he quickly let it go. ‘I forgive you Squirrelflight. Besides, your mistakes don’t excuse my own.’
‘We’ve both made mistakes, but we need to trust each other now.’ Squirrelflight mewed. ‘I know,’ Brambleclaw replied. ‘We’re mates after all.’
‘From now on we’ll share everything with each other…all our worries and joys.’ Squirrelflight mewed decisively.
‘Yes. No more secrets. We’ll make our decisions together.’ Brambleclaw mewed in agreement.
‘Shall we make this promise together?’ Squirrelflight asked. ‘Of course. I promise.’ Brambleclaw promised. ‘I promise,’ Squirrelflight responded.
‘I promise.’ They mewed decisively together.
Then, without even thinking about it, they added. ‘We promise.’
For a long moment, the two cats stared at each other, their eyes filled with love and trust. Then, they embraced, their love engulfing them. Squirrelflight tenderly nuzzled her nose deep into Brambleclaw’s neck fur, while Brambleclaw gently rubbed Squirrelflight’s soft back.
‘I love you Squirrelflight,’ Brambleclaw murmured.
‘I love you too Brambleclaw,’ Squirrelflight replied.
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