I HAVE ONESTAR’S CONFESSION!

Onestar is in his den. He wanted to speak with Whitetail after the Clan leaders had left but she went hunting with Crowfeather and Gorsetail. Onestar wondered if she ever wanted to talk to him again. He is struggling with regrets when Harespring comes in. Harespring praises him for telling the truth and how it took courage. Onestar is warmed and he tells him its freeing to unburden oneself of secrets and tells him he hopes he doesn’t have to experience this. Harespring shifts uncomfortably and Onestar guesses he made it sound like he expected his deputy to worry about it pretty soon. Onestar cant make himself believe that he would survive this battle as Stoneteller spoke of a cost. He did expect Harespring to be getting his nine-lives soon but had no intention of saying that out loud.

Heathertail and Whitetail come into his den when Onestar wakes him. He is relieved that Whitetail is ready to talk to him, but his previous shame is ready to return. Onestar tells her there is nothing he can do to take back the hurt she feels right now and nothing he can do to atone. Whitetail cuts him off and says “Oh you stupid, stupid furball” and runs to him to rub her muzzle against his face. Onestar is in shock, having expected words of anger and bitterness. He asks if she doesn’t mind about Smoke. Whitetail says of course she minds, but not for the reason he thinks. He was never Smoke’s mate when he was with Whitetail but wishes he could have trusted her enough to tell her the truth from at least when Smoke turned up with her kit as Smoke needed their help and they could have worked something out. Onestar confesses he was so afraid of losing her. Whitetail tells him she loves him and says she would never give him up for a mistake like this as their lives are too short, her eyes are full of sorrow. Onestar knows she knows she will lose him very soon. Whitetail asks if he will give up his last life tomorrow. Onestar says if that’s what it takes, as he has to do everything he can to remove the threat of Darktail. Heathertail tells him to at least fight and no go into the battle intent on dying. She has a new litter coming and cant imagine them not knowing her father. Onestar assures her that of course he isn’t going into the battle intent on dying, but he is prepared to. He is at peace with what he has done and not afraid anymore. His fate is in the paws of StarClan.

The sun is setting and all the Clans are heading to ShadowClan territory. Hope wells up inside Onestar that WindClan would survive and thrive whether or not he returned alive, as in battle practice that day he felt like his Clan was truly united and had clearly forgiven him. Onestar felt even more confident as they had the support of StarClan, who told them to remember their name. wherever he looks, he can see eyes gleaming and whisker’s twitching with eagerness. Onestar feels grim amusement at RiverClan’s part to play and thinks, “Darktail wont be expecting that!” They spread out in a line as they go closer to the camp. Every so often, Onestar catches a flash of movement in the trees: SkyClan. They reach the bottom of the slope that led up to the ShadowClan camp and Bramblestar goes, “Now!” and they attack the camp. Bramblestar and the ThunderClan cats are upon them. WindClan and Onestar are on the edge of the battle, attacking any rogue who tried to escape the camp and driving them back into the fighting. SkyClan leaps from the trees and joins the fray, and within heartbeats the camp is filled with screeching, tussling cats. He can see Darktail snarl orders but it isn’t clear if any cat is listening to him. Onestar can smell the rogues’ fear-scent. All his instincts are telling him to ignore Bramblestar’s battle plan and seek out Darktail but he keeps his rage under control. StarClan will send Darktail to him when the time is right. It starts to rain, to his irritation, as fighting will be even trickier now. He defeats a rogue and at that same moment a flash of lightning splits the sky and light the whole forest. Onestar can see every cat and every pine tree that surrounds the clearing. He also sees Darktail charging straight at him from across the camp. The light disappears and weird shapes swim across his vision and wasn’t aware of Darktail until he reared up right in front of him and swiped at his face. Darktail tells his Kin to follow him and retreat as they deserve to survive. He sees Sleekwhisker flee and is surprised to see young ShadowClan warriors fleeing with them but then asks himself what else they could do as they betrayed their birth Clan. Bramblestar orders them to follow the rogues and races after them. Onestar leaps to his paws and says, “Bramblestar! Darktail is mine!” Onestar ignores the rain and mud on his body, cheered by the sight of the rogues fleeing. RiverClan cats approach the rogues when they reach the lake and they turn back only to confront Bramblestar and Onestar.

Onestar catches his secret son’s gaze. He feels frustration and almost sadness at seeing Darktail’s defiant, enraged and malignant eyes. There is no fear in his eyes, only true madness, madness that reflected the darkness of his heart. He had once wondered where Darktail’s evil had come from, blaming himself, but now knows he doesn’t have that kind of evil inside him and maybe nothing could have prevented the cat Darktail had become even if Onestar had welcomed him to WindClan. He thinks that “There is nothing to be done for him. He cannot be saved now. If he ever could….maybe my only purpose is to stop him.” The thought lightens Onestar’s heart, driving out the last trace of regret. Most of the rogues broke away but Darktail stood still, confronting his father.

Onestar approaches warily, determined not to throw the fight by striking out in uncontrolled rage. They circle each other and after a rumble of thunder, Onestar taunts him by saying he would never have made it as a warrior. Darktail hurls himself at him but Onestar is ready and drags him to the ground as they collide. They wrestle for dominance. Each time Onestar feels he had him pinned down, he felt a sudden jolt as if he was weightless, as Darktail flipped him over. He dimly becomes aware they are rolling towards the river. He should be panicking, being only few tail-lengths away, but the closer to death he became, the lighter his heart felt. Father and son roll into the waves that lapped the pebbles, turning over and over and going deeper and deeper. He can no longer feel the bottom. They float and lash out at each other. Onestar hooks all four paws onto him and drags him deeper into the lake. He has to fight the urge to take a breath. He hears a single voice calling “Onestar! Onestar!” and thinks its Heathertail but cant be sure. He feels brief regret that he cant respond and cant go back to her but he knows his time with his family is over. Now he has to save his Clan.

As the fighting toms sink lower, Darktail tries to break free and he almost managed to slip from Onestar’s grip. Onestar’s instincts tell him to let go and he kicks out once to reach the surface and breathe, but before he reaches the surface, the impulse passes as his life was not important now except he could give it to save the Clans. He wraps his forelegs around Darktail’s tail and hind legs so that they start sinking again. He looks into his son’s eyes and sees the frenzied madness replaced with a frenzied fear. He feels a jolt of triumph, spreading through his whole body, at seeing the Clans’ latest enemy being defeated once and for all. But in his last moments, Onestar’s triumph and gladness fades. He cant deny that his own heart clenched with grief and sadness that it had come to this. That Darktail had set his paws that led to his inevitable fate, that there was no helping his errant, wayward son. Onestar thinks, “I’m sorry, Smoke.” as he begins to lose consciousness. His past memories seem to float past him: his kithood memory with Wrenflight, his time with Smoke, the Great Journey, Tallstar’s incredible decision, his visit to StarClan to receive his nine-lives, his time with Whitetail and Heathertail. He had lived a full life, even if he was paying now for his mistakes and gratitude fills him. The memories are replaced by images of the days yet to come. He sees Harestar leading a thriving WindClan to a Gathering of all the Clans – so many cats, more than he can count, he sees Whitetail helping Heathertail with her new litter of kits, while Breezepelt and Crowfeather hunted side by side. He saw Kestrelflight at the Moonpool meetings surrounded by starry spirits of their warrior ancestors. The Clan was going to survive and thrive, and Onestar had made it happen. It hadn’t been too late for him after all. He would not die a bad cat.

“I have saved all the Clans”