Tallstar's Revenge rewrite
Jun 16, 2021 2:20:13 GMT -5
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Jun 16, 2021 2:20:13 GMT -5
I liked the book, but I do feel like it had alot of missing potential, so here's a rewrite I did for fun and it ended up being very different from what we actually got.
The beginning basically plays out the same, except Tallpaw and Shrewpaw are more friendly rivals and Sandgorse actually tries to be happy for his son, at least initially until the tunneling patrol (and Tallpaw) nearly drown, causing Heatherstar to ban tunneling for good. Eventually, the conflict between the moor runners and tunnelers boils over, and several of the tunnelers leave WindClan, including Sandgorse, who acts as their leader (not wanting to be separated from her only kit, Palebird stays and breaks things off with Sandgorse).
Shrewpaw's mother Brackenwing suddenly dies not long after, and it's believed that the tunnelers were at fault, but the only evidence is that their scent was detected nearby. Things get tense between Shrewpaw and Tallpaw after the latter defends his father, even after they become warriors.
During the next confrontation, the tunnelers deny having anything to do with Brackenwing's death, but hardly anyone believes them. A fight breaks out, which only ends when Sandgorse dies at Shrewclaw's paws, causing Talltail to want to avenge his father. The tension between the two young warriors only worsens after Palebird gives birth to Redclaw's kits. Throughout the story, Talltail gets several opportunities to kill Shrewclaw, but he never takes them, always with the excuse that it's not the right time, but deep down, he knows it's more than that.
Meanwhile, with no leader, the tunnelers who left return to WindClan, though still denying any involvement in Brackenwing's death. Heatherstar allows it, and Reedfeather suggests that in order to prevent this from happening again, the two groups should learn from each other until the two are so blurred that eventually, there aren't any moor runners and tunnelers, just warriors. It goes well as the cats within the Clan make amends, but Shrewclaw is one of the few cats who still has his suspicions. During this time, he also forms a close bond with his mother's brother Hawkheart, whom Talltail soon grows to be suspicious of. Part of the book then doubles as a murder mystery to try to solve Brackenwing's murder, with Hawkheart being the prime suspect.
Time passes, and we see certain events unfold, including Reedfeather's affair getting revealed and Hawkheart killing Moonflower; the two cats keep their positions (in Hawkheart's case, it's because he has yet to train an apprentice; Barkface won't be born until much later), but end up losing respect in their Clan. Eventually, Reedfeather dies not long after Crookedstar becomes leader, and Heatherstar chooses Shrewclaw as his replacement after Hawkheart receives a sign, much to Talltail's horror, though Shrewclaw does prove to be a rather competent deputy, easing Talltail's worries. The two slowly start making amends afterwards, but Talltail never quites forgives Shrewclaw for causing Sandgorse's death.
Eventually, Heatherstar dies and Shrewclaw appoints Talltail as his deputy, much to the latter's surprise. Later though, an injured Shrewclaw returns from the Moonstone without Hawkheart and reveals that he hasn't received his nine lives. As far as the Clan knows, Hawkheart and Shrewclaw were attacked by rogues on their way to the Moonstone and Shrewclaw barely escaped with his life, but Hawkheart wasn't so lucky.
Shrewclaw unfortunately dies of his wounds come morning, survived by his sons Mudkit and Graykit (Tornear) and a grieving Talltail and Barkface head for the Moonstone together, where Talltail's suspicions are confirmed: Hawkheart was the one who killed Brackenwing in an attempt to take advantage of the tension in WindClan and essentially take control by ruling through Heatherstar and her successor as some sort of revenge scheme against StarClan for forcing him to become a medicine cat. Shrewclaw ended up killing him in self-defense after Hawkheart tried to kill him for outliving his purpose; the victory is noted to have been a hollow one for the deputy.
Seeing what he could've possibly become had he let his own desire for revenge fester, Talltail finally feels at peace for the first time in seasons and is given his final life by Shrewclaw. Tallstar then vows to lead WindClan peacefully and wisely for the rest of his days.
Shrewpaw's mother Brackenwing suddenly dies not long after, and it's believed that the tunnelers were at fault, but the only evidence is that their scent was detected nearby. Things get tense between Shrewpaw and Tallpaw after the latter defends his father, even after they become warriors.
During the next confrontation, the tunnelers deny having anything to do with Brackenwing's death, but hardly anyone believes them. A fight breaks out, which only ends when Sandgorse dies at Shrewclaw's paws, causing Talltail to want to avenge his father. The tension between the two young warriors only worsens after Palebird gives birth to Redclaw's kits. Throughout the story, Talltail gets several opportunities to kill Shrewclaw, but he never takes them, always with the excuse that it's not the right time, but deep down, he knows it's more than that.
Meanwhile, with no leader, the tunnelers who left return to WindClan, though still denying any involvement in Brackenwing's death. Heatherstar allows it, and Reedfeather suggests that in order to prevent this from happening again, the two groups should learn from each other until the two are so blurred that eventually, there aren't any moor runners and tunnelers, just warriors. It goes well as the cats within the Clan make amends, but Shrewclaw is one of the few cats who still has his suspicions. During this time, he also forms a close bond with his mother's brother Hawkheart, whom Talltail soon grows to be suspicious of. Part of the book then doubles as a murder mystery to try to solve Brackenwing's murder, with Hawkheart being the prime suspect.
Time passes, and we see certain events unfold, including Reedfeather's affair getting revealed and Hawkheart killing Moonflower; the two cats keep their positions (in Hawkheart's case, it's because he has yet to train an apprentice; Barkface won't be born until much later), but end up losing respect in their Clan. Eventually, Reedfeather dies not long after Crookedstar becomes leader, and Heatherstar chooses Shrewclaw as his replacement after Hawkheart receives a sign, much to Talltail's horror, though Shrewclaw does prove to be a rather competent deputy, easing Talltail's worries. The two slowly start making amends afterwards, but Talltail never quites forgives Shrewclaw for causing Sandgorse's death.
Eventually, Heatherstar dies and Shrewclaw appoints Talltail as his deputy, much to the latter's surprise. Later though, an injured Shrewclaw returns from the Moonstone without Hawkheart and reveals that he hasn't received his nine lives. As far as the Clan knows, Hawkheart and Shrewclaw were attacked by rogues on their way to the Moonstone and Shrewclaw barely escaped with his life, but Hawkheart wasn't so lucky.
Shrewclaw unfortunately dies of his wounds come morning, survived by his sons Mudkit and Graykit (Tornear) and a grieving Talltail and Barkface head for the Moonstone together, where Talltail's suspicions are confirmed: Hawkheart was the one who killed Brackenwing in an attempt to take advantage of the tension in WindClan and essentially take control by ruling through Heatherstar and her successor as some sort of revenge scheme against StarClan for forcing him to become a medicine cat. Shrewclaw ended up killing him in self-defense after Hawkheart tried to kill him for outliving his purpose; the victory is noted to have been a hollow one for the deputy.
Seeing what he could've possibly become had he let his own desire for revenge fester, Talltail finally feels at peace for the first time in seasons and is given his final life by Shrewclaw. Tallstar then vows to lead WindClan peacefully and wisely for the rest of his days.