🌸 thousands of charrie blossoms 🌸

( lol he'd just cross his arms with a confused pout
that reminds me of another character snippet I have! I'll post it here too! )

( It definitely wouldn't be! X3
He'll try to hold on to his righteous indignation but he's too impatient. "I'll accept your proposal and I am very happy about it but I won't show it! Hmph!"
Seconds later- "Where are you going? Sophia wait hold my hand-" )

( History has always been my favorite subject! But not American history- bleh- and I've always been charmed by knights and what they're meant to represent~ )

( Yes please do! Mine are in a similar state lol
I either have the pieces with no idea of the picture, or the picture with missing pieces. )

( Oh, definitely. His kids are the worst! Aglovale is chill, but his brothers make up for that with pleasure. I think more than one of them killed other knights due to in-fighting. Tsk. )

* ( That's a viable question! Has Winter ever been a lizard? Perhaps he should try it~ The life of a lizard is relatively free of drama. Just ask Irsen! )
xD both of us are like- "I'm sorry but I don't have the space to write my entire character building essay.." )
* (Oh that's so interesting! What was the plot? Was the other writer the aforementioned witch? I'm familiar with DID too! My grandmother had it, and I've been watching the occasional YouTube video of personal descriptions by people who have it.

I totally agree that it's important to present misunderstood mental illnesses in a way that isn't demonized by the media. I think it's awesome that you did that and it sounds like you handled it well by doing research and being honest about your understanding! ^^
Another good thing is making it part of the character, not giving them a disorder so that they can 'stand out' or in a performative way. I think a lot of western media has the problem...even though I'm familiar with a variety of disorders, I'm always scared to add them to my characters outright- so I think that's doubly cool of you!

Hey, let Winter be positive then! D< )

* ( Ah, I really want to know how you wrote about 'Winter' becoming dormant! I think I've only heard about that happening- feel free to ramble here! ^^ )

( I'll need you to help me bribe myself! Lol
I do not know how to tie all parts of my stories together- that's actually why I roleplay! Having someone with their own input and 'stake' in my writing helps to motivate me~ I had initially planned on making an rp based on my story...but then i got selfish. ><"
It would follow that I write as Arthur while the others were the knights- but even though I don't own any properties to the characters, it still felt weird. Like I'm offering up my own children haha )

( Yeah no stop it : ( I already have way too many entries about my characters dying or almost dying! Your mentioning Winter struggling with his demon side has reminded me of the fact that I've been repeatedly torturing Greed lately...He has no problem being a 'demon' but his 'soulmate' is an angelic being so - )

( He Absolutely Will.
Sen will make it very obvious too~ There's no avoiding eye contact. If they have intersecting paths in some way- example often passing each other on the way home- Irsen will make it a habit. Even if he can't brighten Winter's day, he'll at least serve as a distraction from it~ )

* ( Ah, I see! And why did you choose Jace? Did you already have an idea of what his original parents were like or does it not matter?
I also have a girl who was adopted and has to 'grow' into her true name, though I don't recall if I ever had any concrete info on her true parents..? I think they're 'hiding' her and were paying normal humans to keep her safe but then the payments stop coming... )

( It definitely is >D she has to pay for all of his food and at least half of the property he's damaged )
( It's one of my favorite factors too! have tons of characters without names because I need the Perfect one. I always match characters to names and rarely the other way around- one case I can think of is Antares. Some rp I was in had characters named after stars or constellations and something about zodiacs? So I made a volatile redhead named Antares whose ponytail resembles a scorpion's ~ )

( Neither can Guingalain~ lol )

( Oh, Winter and I are the same age then! ^^ I turned 23 this year.
I actually think it's awesome to have a character 'in your head' so to speak~ Iii don't know if I have one at the moment. They tend to switch out depending on my hyper-fixation... but Arthur's prototype- the OG character that he spawned from- was in my mind for the longest time. I love him so much that I story boarded like, three actual books for him and a dozen AUs. I might post those here too! The more I write the less I'll make sense, however... )

( lol A Meet Cute Ugly! I'm guessing she's patient like Destiny, then~
Oho, I'm also familiar with that plot! I used to read 'Heartland' and other Horse Girl books where some troubled kid bonds with a troubled horse haha )

( aaa I really appreciate that! ;;; I really like writing/reading with you in general! <3
Even though you remind me of the sadist I hid deep within... xD )

( Same! I was homeschooled too! My mom just used a school curriculum so they'd send us the books/materials that came from real teachers and we just did it at home. One con to homeschooling- there aren't enough kids in your 'class' for you to fall by the wayside haha
My mom would be like "I know you stayed up all night, so what were you doing if it wasn't any of the work I assigned you?!" )

( I want to feel bad but at the time we're just ~ 🎵 All In This Together 🎵 ~
One such day I forced Arthur to watch his ancestor die... )

( At the time I didn't even know Pokémon and digimon were originally anime haha~
Eventually we had to switch to watching grainy clips on YouTube. We were old enough that my parents were displeased but somehow we managed to avoid them seeing anything questionable- They call all anime "that NahRooToh stuff"
My sister loves Black Butler! I initially- hypocritically haha- thought she was too young to watch it ^^ "
How did your sister bootleg it? Lol )

( Real talk though x3 )

* ( Oh yeah, how does Destiny fit into Winter's story again? ^^
He'll really appreciate the patience! He wants to get to the point where he can repay it fully, but he's afraid of commitment- though not enough, apparently. He's a Very transparent tsundere so they'd be dating for weeks before he eventually acknowledges it and then freaks out a little lol )

( And so did I! I really do want to know more about Winter~! Especially concerning your demon/magic story. Did you put him into the plot or build it around him? 
I read through your explanation multiple times already haha~

Sorry for the delay! My boss is making us work harder and stay later so ugh to that

I'll let her know that you like it! That was my exact reaction! Haha Squishable cheeks are a must~!
I think I paid her extra after that, because she literally read my mind over how I wanted him to look?! His smile is literally perfect?!
That is straight up Sorcery ;;; *fangirl flailing*

Exactly! Other countries be wili'n lol
I was forced to take a Texas History Class at my local college and that was rather eye-opening. But like, it just made me realize how terrible and entitled Americans are. I went back to reading about Zhuge Liang's brilliant strategies and Nobunaga being absolutely bonkers haha

Oh, the fact that you feel that you can kind of see it happening to you makes it especially interesting then! Not that I mean to romanticize anything that may have happened to you! I'm sorry if it seems that way?
I just mean by the way your characters- Winter in particular- feel like more than just characters to you?
I kind of had that when I was younger, but it receded after a few years. Hm.
I actually didn't know that my grandmother had DID, as I was only around her when I was really little and I actually didn't learn about it until maybe early college? I was taking an Intro To Psychology class and I was telling my mom about what I learned until she said, "My mother has DID. She has a child Alter named Kitty who would come out to talk to me sometimes." There may have been others, but my mom 'saw' Kitty the most. I wanted to ask more about things but my uncle lived with my grandmother so he'd have more information. I'd like to ask him about it when I can. My mom took care of her a lot too but mental illness, especially concerning her mother, is kind of a sensitive topic for her still?
I think she was kind of traumatized by the way her mother was treated. Especially because I developed a mental illness too.

But yes, I did a lot of research and watched switch videos, as well as DisociaDID! I don't know about any controversy though? I watched a few videos about responses to Trisha Paytas and the like but I haven't watched anything concerning DID in a while.

Ooh, yes! I'll be sure to head over to read it when I get the chance~ ^^

Hm, same here! I've always been interested in mental illness. I think partly because I wanted to help/understand my grandma. It kind of hurt to know that she'd only take all of her medication when she anticipated talking to us (we moved a lot) because she didn't want to scare or worry us. She was co-morbid, so she had a variety of mental illnesses.
That Wattpad story also had a huge effect on me. Because after that and a few episodes of Criminal Minds & Flashpoint, I devoted myself to learning about mental illnesses even more because I wanted to be a psychiatrist or a school counselor because I don't want anyone else to feel alone and hurt like that.

I've actually recently (two or more years ago, maybe?) been diagnosed and it's always a relief to share that, because I want to help end the stigma too! I want people to be like, "well I know someone who isn't threatening or otherwise 'unpleasant' so maybe they aren't all like that and there's more of a spectrum"
My mother, however, is so afraid of how my grandmother was treated that she doesn't want me to let anyone know, not even other family members.

I don't say all of this to make things about myself! ^^"
I just want to kind of say I struggle with mental stability too? and I know a few first hand things, so you can ask questions & share what you want!

In answer to your addition about exploring it in characters- I'm actually afraid to actively introduce things like that into my own OCS, ironically lol
I like that you can, though! It's an important and therapeutic way of handling things, and I'm glad you have that outlet! <3
I wish you all the best~!

Oh, exactly! I put so many elements into the RP that I forget they're meant to be in the story! Right now I'm actually going through our replies for random info because I've explained Irsen struggling with his sin to you so succinctly but in my notes I was like "he's lonely I guess? :/"

That's what I try to tell him but it only makes Greed angrier? Lol

That's unfortunate, as Irsen can smell weakness. He's like "aha! Now you tolerate my presence! >D"

Ooh, that makes sense! I have a similar background for a character named Max- kind of. He's become a delinquent with a complex as a result haha
My problem with naming characters is that they're rarely realistic! Like, how many parents would name their kid Telemachus? Which is actually Max's full name lol
He just goes by Max

She's a born exorcist! In that world, exorcists tend to have bloodlines who have developed supernatural abilities & such. I actually forget why they were hiding her...it was either because she was considered weak by other exorcists & demons/spirits and therefore an easy target, or because she was Powerful and therefore a target.
Either way, her abilities are unorthodox...Other exorcists may be able to trap spirits/demons in spells or create purifying weapons. Bella was born with the ability to touch spirits and demons but be unaffected by them. Which is just a little interesting. But then she's revealed to have supernatural Physical capabilities so she can not only touch spirits, but she can punch them out of existence lol
Other exorcists would see her without weapons and be like "you can't even cast a spell!"
And then Bella "but I can cast fist!" *She breaks the ghost's nose. Everyone is freaking out because it's actually bleeding*
Though she's not OP of course~

Oh, Ish? Is it short for Ishmael? And what made you name him Ish? ^^
Ah I see lol
It's also a familiar theme for me. Our boys can commiserate together over the terrible hand we've dealt them. Again, I have a beloved boy who fits that description- he was tortured and 'killed' to become a living weapon! He's actually Argent's comrade now and I'll introduce him later as well!

Oh, sure sure! I'll get something up for him too and introduce his main knights~
Also, please remember that you're free to do the same! This isn't just my page, so you can plan out plots & characters here too!

Thats's definitely Mika~
Though he believes in Destiny's kindness~ He'd also know to apologize and attempt to make it up to her if he's being testy however
This would result in a dilemma, however
He's too angry to cuddle but he wants to cuddle. So What Is The Truth?

I'll be the pacifist then! I'm campaigning for you to allow Irsen to give Winter finger-hearts!
He'd be like "you dropped something" but when Winter looks down then back at him he'll have made a heart shape with his hands lol "my love for you~"

Roman Catholic for my mom! I find it cool that she was taught by actual nuns though haha

You too know the struggle...I've seen some people say "oh i watch this anime with my mom/dad/parents" and I'm like HOW?! Some of them seem normal and then *UNNECESSARY PANTY SHOT*
When I was still in my early teens if my mom or dad walked past the tv and saw something they didn't like the art, or even voice acting, of, they'd tell us to turn it off.

Mika: *tragedy and despair* i sleep
Mika: *genuine good feelings & experiences* i PANIK

Hmhm, I see! Do you know how old you were when you started an interest in DID?
And how many roleplays would you generally use Winter in? I started out making a different character for every roleplay, because i could tailor them to fit the story or plot.
Like, if there are too many bad-tempered angsty characters (which was common) I'd introduce my own personal Sunshine. If there are too many sweet-tempered characters, I'd throw in some of my Trash.
Each one would have a story and appearance to match the plot. PJO rp with characters going on a quest? Mine would be a perfect foil to their parent and like adventuring.
Later I developed a fondness for certain characters and started using them more often. And then I started building characters based on their art. I'm trying not too make too many new OCs but...

Thanks! ^^

He owns my heart <3
I need to give a little love to Rasasvada now though He's more my brainchild haha

Exactly! I think there's still discourse about that- my mom said her teachers were really good about it though! They'd say: here's what your curriculum is telling you, but this is what really happened
History is her favorite subject too, and she knows so many things that conservative schools try to shy away from ^^

Oh, I've always been interested in the way brains work, because they're so nonsensical! Haha
Could you tell me more about Winter then, like does he have, say, different tastes to yours? As in, you like fries but he doesn't?
Yes, I try to tell myself that things are better now...but there's still a lot more work to do! I know at least that my grandmother has a loving family and everyone did the best they could for her to make up for her past <3

I think I know what you mean but I guess it's better that I don't? Haha
Oh I meant to ask, Alters have different ideas of how they see themselves, right? I think I heard mention of one Alter feeling like they're blond? But I don't quite remember-
In regards to Winter, do you see him in your mind's eye? I used to be able to see my OC- Sasha- in my head at times.

I look forward to it nonetheless! ^^ I've never read DID in a character before~

Yeah after I developed mental illness I was like ah. Maybe not. lol
But what mostly dissuaded me is the time and money that would be spent on school alone. I don't exactly have the resources, and I don't want to be paying back student loans 'til I die or something. ~ ^America ~
Oh, that's awesome! There isn't enough positive media about them- there are books but they aren't popular and are more obscure unfortunately. But movies are definitely a nope.

Exactly! That's actually the main problem! Either we hurt ourselves or people who don't understand do.
I appreciate that! <3 And the same goes for you, of course~!

We can talk about that then, if you feel the need to! I also have clinical depression so it was a Double Whammy lol
I hate the fact that things like that aren't properly addressed in America. None of the people who can change that care and medication is ridiculously expensive. I don't even know how my grandmother got hers..?
If I may ask, how are you trying to treat it? My brother swears by certain vitamins and supplements that are said to help. At the risk of sounding like I'm shilling-
At the least, he takes a lot of vitamins, particularly vitamin D!

Oh, thank you! It means a lot that you feel that way! ^^
Feel free to ask away~!
One thing I wish more people knew, is that hallucinations and the like are just a facet of it. Unfortunately that's  the only thing people hear about. When i told my little brother he was confused. "So like, seeing things? Like in Minecraft?"
lol I was also confused but apparently there's some minecraft creature that does that? I don't quite remember how he explained it haha
If I'm actually trying to focus on something it gets harder haha
It's also hard to follow along in conservations so I have to do things passively. If I'm not trying, then things can kinda work out lol

^^ I think that's very considerate of you! It's one thing to write about it for yourself, but that's something to be mindful of on a public forum. I actually never thought of that, but I think that's one of the reasons I avoid it! I don't even write fanfiction, I'm too worried about getting things right! Haha
I'm actually looking into anxiety/panic attacks, because I'd like to know how I could help! and because my characters feel more authentic if they knew how to address it? Like, that made me think about how Irsen would be really good at helping others through it...Sloth and Lust too. They're supposed to be Sins but sometimes they forget they're the bad guys lol

And then you're like- "no wait that was actually creative! I can be smart!" Yet all you're left with is the vague notion that you had an awesome idea. ><
Sometimes I sleep with my iPad nearby. There was actually a time where I kept getting up to add extra things to my characters. Gluttony Would Not leave me alone. Why was it important that I take note of the fact that you would hypothetically eat your brothers?! I already know that you're the Worst! Shut up!

Me! Definitely! I would absolutely make sure my kids bring back the awesome names of the past!
Like, did you know that we don't know Plato's real name? Plato is his 'wrestling' name~

Lol she is!? I didn't think of that!
Oh, that's so cool! I hope he doesn't mind that I like the name 'Ish'
And again, we're on the same level! That's also Bella's background!
Her 'adoptive' parents are afraid of her, so they made sure to make her feel inferior and break her down emotionally/mentally so that she only thinks of serving them. She, too, can absolutely kill them but she doesn't know this and doesn't even think to do it. However~ She's eventually invited into a 'team' of two other 'failure' exorcists who become her found family and though they fight at first, they all heal each other to the point where they can stand on their own but are better together. And they pay her adoptive parents a visit...

Can I know more about Ish? ^^
Like what kind of gang? How was he sold? And how is he capable of killing them? Physically or with weapons? What are they making him do?

Actually, I wanted to ask about that! I don't want to seem presumptuous or anything, but I was actually thinking of asking you if you want art for them? Like, you can give me a description and I'll see if my friends are doing customs! ^^ and if not, I can have an idea of what you want them to look like and maybe I can find art to match!
It'd be a gift, and it's something I want to do! I know your characters, especially Winter, are important to you and I know having art for my OCs makes me really happy ^^
And of course! We can trade blurbs! Haha

Ah, Sen would just praise him on the strength of his punches. "You're doing great! I might have felt that one~!"
It might be better if they take different paths home...lol Irsen would definitely tire him out because he's on all the time

Oh, no. I think you're right! She's a lot less stringent now. She says I can make my own decisions but not without her opinion haha~

Lol I think my parents may have an inkling of how anime is but they don't want to know. Fortunately, they've only been exposed to the ones where it appears they're mostly about fighting, like DBZ.

Oh, I see! I have a few characters who live in my head and never see the light of day xD I can think up all their stories & key info and such but. Writing it all down? What?
Who are/were your most used characters then? Are any related to Winter in some way, like Destiny?

Lol, and I will be glad to hear about him as well.

Yeah, we just got the watered down versions mostly. Now I've got to research the real events myself the hard way, lol.

Sure! We share some similar tastes, especially with music. But there are some differences with other things. For one, he doesn't really care for movies, and the video games he likes to play are different from what I like to play. And when it comes to actual food, he's not as picky of an eater as I am, so he will eat pretty much anything. However, he is allergic to onions. I don't know where that came from, though. XD But we both have a sweet tooth. If it's chocolate, we're both all over it, lol.
And I have no doubt that her family has supported her as best as they could! I just wished there was more being done to make the information about mental disorders more widely known and shown in a positive manner.

Yes, you are right that each Alter sees themselves differently from each other/the physical body. There can even be non-human Alters as well. And I can see Winter very clearly in my mind's eye, and have even been able to see him in a dream once, though I didn't know it was him until I woke up, lol. He's 5'7", shaggy black hair styled like the little emo boy he is. He's caucasian, his skin tone, while pale, is on the warmer side with a peachy undertones, and his eyes are green. His style of clothing is simple, just jeans and t-shirts, mostly dark colors and with band logos on them.

Lol, then have fun with it. XD

Ah, yes, the good old Americain plan of paying more money for your education than you’ll ever be able to make in the field you studied in. It’s stupid. I went to a technical college and took only one or two classes a semester. It was cheaper, but still more than I would ever want to spend. My family raises cows to sell, so I used my calves that I sold to pay for college and, luckily, stay out of any sort of debt. Still, I am not sure it was really worth it.
Most books about disorders are biographies or things like that, which are great, but there’s so few fiction books (at least from what I have seen) where the main characters or even important supporting characters have mental disorders. That is what has my inspiration flowing. That’s what I want to write about.

Exactly! You have just as much risk sneaking up on a “normal” person and scaring them and getting hurt as with doing the same to someone with a mental disorder. All it takes is some common sense and two ounces of decency to learn how to approach people. It’s not that hard!
Thanks. ^^

Lol, I might take you up on that offer on the days it gets bad.
Nor does it help that my family has never talked about mental illness, and when the issue of my depression did pop up one day, they tried explaining it away and called it “self-pity.” So, yeah, talking about it to people is difficult to say the least, but I’ve reached the point where I’m so tired of not saying things about it that I feel like it’s all just going to cave in.
No, I’m not taking vitamins. My coping mechanism is escapism. I come to the forums to rp, to take up the lives of my characters and hide from my own, to talk with people who share the same interest with me and just talk about random things. It’s not healthy, and, yeah, it might be causing some hindrances in my life, but it just helps to forget and relax, to just be concerned with things that aren’t real instead of having to face the things that are. Because rp wise, you can find a way to control and solve and work out the problems the characters are facing so much easier than you can with yourself.

That’s really interesting. Truth be told, the hallucinations were the main detail I knew of it too, but only because I’ve been so focused on DID that I have yet to branch out and more my focus to Schizophrenia. So all you remember is that loop of thoughts when it happens? Not the activities you were doing? Have you had any interesting “how did I get here moments?” Lol

Lol, same here. I can hardly write my own ideas, much less use someone else’s to make a story, haha. Who says that just because they’re “Sins” make them bad? I feel like each one of them as a trait that could be used for good. They just might not get a chance to show it off as often.

Oh God. XD Calm down there, Gluttony. No one will need you to eat them. And if you ever tried eating Irsen, well then, I’m going to have to end you.
But yes, that happens to me all the time, and it’s the worst. I can’t write things out at night because I know that if I do, then I’ll be too awake to fall back to sleep and I will be stuck.

I actually did know that! Don’t ask me where I learned it from, but I knew it. XD

I love the name Ish too, so whether he likes it or not, it doesn’t matter, lol.
Ooh, those two would have much to bond over. If, you know, Ish was the talkative type. He doesn’t see the need for talking unless he has to.

He’s a new character in a new plot, so a lot of things aren’t set in stone, but the gang he’s in is like your run of the mill gang. Territorial and trying to work their way up to overthrowing their city’s government and branching out into other cities. As mentioned before, his family was poor, barely getting by on his father’s paychecks. Ish was born with two different eye colors, rare but not something that’s going to be a problem. He also has Vitiligo, the skin condition that causes the pigment to disappear and leave white patches (I actually have a small case of this, and most wouldn’t notice it unless I point it out). So because of this, his parents, father mostly, saw this as proof that he might have more “defects” that might cause them more problems down the line. That, and the fact that his father had made some bad financial choices with the wrong people, sold off his son to the gang. (Specifics are still being worked out, so this might change over time.) Ish has been trained to be a killing machine. They use him as an assassin, enforcer, bodyguard, you name it. If there’s a job so dangerous no one else wants to do, they send in Ish. He’s trained in both weapons and hand-to-hand combat, with a little bit of poison worked in, but he’s not a master of that. He just knows one or two things to give people that would be hard to trace. He’s 6’ and built, but not in a body builder way. More lean and athletic. During training days, he was expected to get things right the first time, or he would have the proper way beaten into him. In his teenage years, he did try to rebel, to take a stand for himself, but when he was beaten inches from death, he realized that fighting was pointless. So he switched his focus from trying to live to trying to survive, to find a way to make it through the day with as little pain as possible. Yet even though he can perform any job flawlessly, or as near perfect as one can get, his boss always finds something wrong, and he never lets Ish walk away without a reminder of who is in charge.

I will always want art for my characters, but are you sure? I’d hate for you to spend money on my characters. I’ll still share their descriptions with you regardless, but just know that that’s not something you have to do.

Now I want to put Winter in here, and I don’t even know how or why or what to do with him. XD Because, if anything, he should be in Destiny’s plot, not Irsen’s. XD

Lucky you. I still feel like I can’t do anything unless my parents give the okay, and even then I’m constantly double guessing if they actually wanted me to do the thing I’m doing.

Lol, yeah, we try to find the ones that aren’t much more than action type stuff as well. My brother was a huge DBZ fan, and he talked about it non-stop and tried his best to explain it to our parents, but even then our mother disapproved. So we don’t much about them unless they’re the sweet and wholesome ones, or plots we think she would actually find “decent”.

Truth be told, I think it was Destiny that I used the most in the beginning. She was my first girl character and one that I modeled around my own personality, so I used her for pretty much everything. Next to that would be Peter, one of the first guy characters I made. He had a lot of versions and names, but him as a character remained the same. However, he is another one of my characters who has grown out of my control, so I don’t use him often any more because no plot has ever felt right to use him.

Mass destruction. Or at least a public nuisance. XD
Gosh I hate that. Knowing that years of your work is just gone. It’s the worst feeling ever!

Did some digging, and found an old picture of Winter done in the early Forum days. I can't remember who drew it, but it's been my favorite drawing of him (and the only, lol)




And I also found the picture that I created as the base for Sophia's character! The outfit is horrible, don't ask me what I was thinking in putting it like that. XD

Lol, you're good! I hope every thing is going well for you!

Well then since I have no way of really stopping you, thanks! Just don't feel like you have to spend a lot of money for the art. ^^

Okay! Take you're time.

The forums are messing with me again so my replies will be weird, it took me a while to post the one above and I can't edit it

Sorry for being out of commission! ;;;
I'll hopefully be back with some Apology Art. I know it's not 'necessary' or anything, I just want to do it! ^^

Hope you're doing well! I'm getting there ^^ ;;

You're all good! I completely understand lack of muse. My own work hours have increased, and my replies with other people are suffering with it, so I know the feeling.

I've been doing well, though, despite it! I hope you've been doing well too.

OMG, I LOVE HIM! That is exactly how he looks, down to the expression and everything. I love it, thank you!

Haha, no worries. It's just part of life. As much as it sucks sometimes, there's not much we can do about it.

That's awesome! I hope they'll be able to help you, and you can get something figured out when you speak with your doctor!

Well, I love him. Everytime I look at it, it makes my day, and I just adore it! And I'm so excited to see Sophia. I'm sure she'll be just as amazing!

Uh, I wonder why it's doing that. I use my phone and it has never really given me too much issues. Then again, my phone does use the mobil verision of the site. I don't know if an iPad uses the desktop version or the mobil version.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!! SHE'S SO PRECIOUS!!!!!!!

yeah, older models might have a harder time with stuff like that.

AS HE SHOULD! LOL, it really is amazing. Thank you for having it made.

Well that sucks that it pretty much has you knocked out all day, but maybe it will be benefically for you. I hope it is, anyway. Maybe it'll just take some time for your body to get used to the changes made.

( I left your replies so that you don't have to do any re-reading! xD 
mine have '*' )

He does speak differently, but he doesn't have know any different words that I don't, thankfully, lol. He's not that sentient yet. Although there are Alters for some people who do speak a completely different language from where they grew up (like if one person was bon native English speaker with no exposure to a foreign language, yet has a Alter who speaks perfect French). But his tones and way of speaking is very unique, so I can normally tell the difference between a thought that my own mind makes versus a thought he has influence over/something he says.
As for his personal space, for me, no, I can't say he has his own space that I know of. Since I don't have DID, there is no "Inside" world in which they live. He just appears and disappears whenever he feels like it.

*That's good! lol I hope he doesn't surprise you one day!
Ah that's so interesting! My thoughts never feel like my own for some reason, but I can't imagine there being a duality like one between you and Winter! The wannabe-psychologist in me is fascinated! Haha
Hmhm, have you heard of the term "Mind Palace"? It's a term for a 'place' that you kind of construct in your own mind. I heard it first from BBC Sherlock- but it's a real thing! Lol
I wonder if you could try to make one for Winter? There are instructions online!

Lol, yes, only cows, but my family's farm is not really a ranch. At least, not like the kind of ranch's you see out west where they still have to drive the cattle long distances to each pasture. No, we have three pastures and a hayfield (used only for hay making and sometimes extra grazing if needed), but it's nothing that big. We have maybe 50 head of cattle, and that's including my siblings, my fathers, and my cows. And we were homeschooled mainly because my parents wanted us to be taught with a curriculum that followed along with the Christian teachings.
I've found a few friends, one at work, and some online. Most are online considering how disastrous my social skills are in person. And don't give up on that dream! It just might take longer to achieve, but don't give up on it completely! I've had people tell me to change my dreams when I was younger (which probably contributed to my mental health problem), so I know how devastating it can be. Never give up! Save up, look for scholarships, anything! Do things that still relate to that occupation so even if you don't become a licensed psychologist, you might still find something in the same field you love doing just as much, and maybe even like better! So don't just give up on it. Never give up on it!

*Ohh that's so interesting! What do you think about living that way? Are you in a remote place, like with other farms nearby? Do you think being raised around animals has influenced you in some way?
I personally have always wished to grow up around any kind of animal- but I want to see what you think! ^^
Ah, I see! Same with my parents! Though it was also influenced by the fact that we moved a lot.
Same! Lol Except Bae, who is my cousin, so we actually know each other IRL. She's the one who initially created Irsen!
I'm sorry that affected you so badly. It seems that we're opposites in that regard...my parents try to live vicariously through me so they're always trying to push me into doing things. What kind of things did they want you to give up? Which I acknowledge as incredibly selfish, especially considering the way they've treated you- and I don't mean to speak out of turn! Please correct me if needed! I just really dislike how they'd try to restrict you in that way...

*As an aside! my dad started up the "why don't you become an author??" spiel again. And "i haven't seen you write in so long!" While during it I was thinking of the fact that one of my characters is literally the Demon of Lust and I was like 'uhhh' so lol to that
Thanks for your encouragement! ^^ I actually intend to slowly insinuate myself into a position haha. First step, finding a way to work in medicine!

*That's it. Right there. You've summed it all up. My dad literally tries to pretend it doesn't exist. What I feel is worse is that there are hints of my younger siblings developing depression/anxiety as well and they refuse to believe That too. Like one is enough to deal with, so the others can just figure it out. Which I see now is similar to your situation! Their biggest problem, initially, was the fear that they caused it somehow, and they're even more resistant because I may have indirectly told them that my little brother is struggling because of them. Now my mom is always saying things like "I bet you think we're bad parents, huh?" , "See I can do this right", "are you going to tell me I'm a bad parent again?" Which is also linked to the fact that I told them they need to read parenting books and they got Highly offended. I told them it's not like I'm saying they're bad, but they can find new ways to do things. And everyone could use self-help. It doesn't make you seem weak. Tsk

YES! God, why is it so hard for them to just shut up and listen and even consider that they don't know everything they're talking about? That while they may not be able to understand doesn't mean that we're making it up! We experience things differently, interpret things differently. Our truth might not be the same as theirs, but it's still true because it's what we are feeling, what we are living with, what we have come to know as the truth. But instead, they just want us to agree with them and act like it never happens.
Or in my case, my mother will listen to my sister whenever she talks about her panic attacks or little flares of depression as a side effect of some of the medicines she takes, and she'll understand my sister's need to be alone and hole herself in the basement or her room, yet when I even hint that I might be feeling the slightest bit off or struggling with something, she either ignores it, tells me I'm in the wrong for something, or just tells me to deal with it. It's like they don't want to own up and admit to the fact that they might have even played a part to how unstable my mental health is now, and they're trying desperately to convince me of it too.
I know they're family and all that, but my God, they're complete idiots, yours and mine both, for how little they care until something big happens and they are forced to deal with it.

I'm still in that tired state. Like, I can fake it for work, but there's no true emotion behind it, no drive. I'm running on auto-pilot alone.
Music is my life saver. If I didn't have that, I wouldn't be here. I have not heard of them, but I will be checking them out! I'm always looking for new music to listen to. The band that has gotten me through it all is Three Days Grace. They are my all time favorite band, and they're just amazing. Along with Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin, and Fall Out Boy, of course, lol.

*It's terrible because even auto-pilot can be draining. When things were just starting I'd just hide in one of the lesser used closets because there was nowhere in my house that I could feel comfortable or let anything out. I still hide in closets sometimes...just less now. Is there somewhere that you can be more 'yourself'? I call it wearing a masq- not a mask, because I'm leaning more into the word 'masquerade' which would suggest putting on a show for others rather than simply hiding behind it.
I used to smile reflexively at everyone who made eye contact with me. In fact, by the end of the day my cheeks would often hurt from smiling too much. Not so much now, but that's why I like wearing a mask! ^~
Ooh those are all my favorites too! I came across some of them from edgy warrior cats AMVs lol
Have you heard of "I'm Still Here" by John Rzeznik? It's been a favorite of mine ever since the movie Treasure Planet came out and I think it's very relatable too!

Heck, at this point, I'll take any advice you got to give.
Oh, no, you're fine! I actually like having you talk about all of this. Like at least one of us has a clue of what we're doing, haha. I know we haven't really talked about anything too in depth and what not, but knowing that you understand some of the struggles I have helps a lot, you know? So I thank you for that.
Complain away! I hate it too. It's a lot of words that I can't use on the forums, and I wished someone with more than two brain cells would go in and change it! Make mental health a mandatory thing that everyone should focus on and have help available to anyone who needs it.

*I'll try! Though I'm still on the hunt for clues myself haha
And i thank you, too! ^^ I'm glad we could get some things out~
And what's sad about it is that, that might take a bit of an overhaul. Like, another one of the reasons I wanted to become a psychologist/psychiatrist is the huge lack of mental health awareness & importance in Asian countries. I have Asian friends who were saying, "you just have to swallow it all down along with your rice"

See, the word there that I have a hard time accepting is "Healthy." XD I should eat more healthy, but I don't. I'm the world's worst picky eater, so I won't touch a lot of things. However, I will look into those teas. Maybe I can find something there that appeals to me.

*Oh, I believe you. I'm an unhealthy picky eater- especially now that I only crave sweets!
Healthy can taste nasty. As I mentioned, my brother takes a lot of pills/supplements but he has to steel himself before he does. I have no idea what 'haritaki' is but judging by his expressions when swallowing it, I don't want to know lol
Yes, I hope teas can help! I also have a new favorite drink- Shine Vitamin Water! It tastes fruity but has no sugar, and has vitamins & electrolytes!

I mean, compared to a lot of other things I could have turned to, it's the safest one, lol.
Same here. Sometimes rping can help me coop and come to understandings with a lot of things going on in my life by allowing me to have that outside looking in type of view to it.
Yeah, and it's always worked, so I see no point in trying to stop doing it now!

*For sure! I was a bit worried at first- though I honestly wouldn't judge! Everyone has different circumstances, so I have no right casting stones without being familiar with them!
Hmh, right! Lately, for me, I've just started being kind of obsessed with cute characters & creating them. No muse for writing, just cute little tidbits here & there- Like this sweetheart!

*Oh, and I thought that maybe while I get Irsen together, we could maybe just chat about what Sophia & Sen's childhood might have been like? ^^
For example, she's so patient with him so I wonder if that came with practice or if it was already her disposition~

okay, I feel ya there. I need people to tell me several times about instructions too, so don't feel bad about that, lol. I work similarly when I'm stressed. It's like my brain doesn't want to process things when I'm stressed and worked up. So that is something that I can relate to. It sucks, and I'm sorry you got to go through that because I know you must go through it way more than I do.

*Oof. That's also a symptom of depression! Upon onset, I actually thought I was slowly deteriorating in some way- like intellectually- forgetfulness, slow on the uptake, difficulty concentrating, etc
but then my therapist was like "you're not dumb that's depression" so *surprised pikachu face*
I hope you know this too! She also tells me that it may fell like a part of me but it's not me, so I can't limit myself by seeing it as just, "oh of course this happens to me, that's all I'm capable of" or something to that effect...haha!
And I'm getting better, so I'll send some of that energy to you! ₍˶ˆ꒳ˆ˶₎✼:♡*ﾟ✿

Hmmm, He's good at music. That's one thing he's always been proud of and it gives him something to focus his energy and emotions into. He's also very loyal and very protective of those he's close to. So while he pretends to be a grumpy bean, he's a softie on the inside. And he's closed off nature is used more to weed out those who are actually willing to put in the time to get to know him versus those who are merely curious or just a temporary type friend. So in a way, that negative trait is used for a positive outcome.
See, at least they put in the effort to try and be as less destructive as they can be. XD

*Oh, how often does he get the chance to play instruments or sing?
And that's a good balance of flaw and strength! I read that you can use that wording for interviews, like "my strength is that I'm a hard worker and my flaw is that sometimes I'm too detailed" Because it makes sense, and you can answer two questions in one!
Celia is the one who really keeps them in line though lol

Oh, Gluttony. XD
I have many ideas, and it will take me a minute to fully write out even a handful of them. So I'll get back to you on that one.

*I look forward to whenever you're ready~ ^^

SAME! Okay, look up "What Lies Beneath" by Breaking Benjamin, and that's what I imagine Ish's voice, or at least signing voice, to sound like.
(Again, I will get back to you because I am tire, and this deserves more attention to it than I can currently give. XD)

*Ah, nice! I Love rock-singer voices~ The range is amazing~!
Of course! XD

It’s new and there’s hardly anything figured out about the story, but what I do have is mostly all in my head. XD Which, truth be told, isn’t the safest place for it since I tend to lose a lot of things I keep up there, lol.
It’s kind of a weird timeline setting. Like, it’s modern, but only the richest people have a lot of the more luxurious items, like cars and such. But even in the rural towns you’ll have things like electricity and modern appliances. And the location is in a world that Dreamer created. She knows more about it than I do, so I haven’t learned but the bare basics. However, the kingdom in which the city is located is more in a hotter climate area, possible the desert region, but I could be wrong about that.
The story does follow his life at the point in which he meets up with Dreamer’s character. Her character, Blu, stumbles upon him, tries to befriend him, thinks it would be fun so he joins the gang for the laughs, and then he realizes he no longer wants to be there anymore when the gang’s leader orders him to kill someone as his proper induction into the “family.” And then, against his better judgement, Ish helps him escape and gets talked into fleeing that gang as well. There’s more to it, of course. The gang’s trying to make a play of power to over throw the government and some other things, but we’re still at the very beginning of that story, so things are likely to change as we go.
That’s the way it is for me. I found a new little spot on the back of my hand the other day, and I (being the weird person I am) got all excited over the “new baby spot.” Lol

*That's how it be. Lol I say I'm going to remember but then I build onto the thought so much that I forget where it started xD
Ooh, sounds interesting! And to be expected- I start out with a Dream and then my characters go "yeah...anyway" so the plot is kinda there but they're making all the big moves lol
Oh, not weird! It's fun! 

Lol, I just recently found Picrew, and it’s amazing! Especially when I’m bored and just want to play around with character designs.

*Right?! It's so fun, I tend to listen to music and then design a character based on the vibes the song gives me~

Okay, but like, low key I really want them to meet because I am a sucker for those friend duos where there’s a dark brooding one and a cheery colorful one, and those two would fit that perfectly. XD
Thanks, I’ll check it out! Really, you’d think by now I would learn to deal with it, or be able to talk with them and make compromises with things. However, I still feel as if I have to be under their rules and whatnot. Like if I try getting out from under them, it’ll just cause more problems than I want to deal with. But I will look into the book!

*Exactly! To be honest, whenever there's a dark & gritty rp or one with a lot of angsty characters, I whip out a Sunshine© and set him loose. Whether he's well-received by the characters who secretly want friends or alienates the stodgy loners, we're sure to have fun~!
It's actually kinda weird to me, though. I may have become a Tired Introvert but I'd welcome a high-energy, positive person in my life- as long as they aren't pushy-
But then again I'm the kid who had Naruto as one of my anime role models xD
It was mostly the fact that he tried his best even though everyone was absurdly mean to him like let the child breathe? But he stuck to being positive and sought to understand people who were also hurting, and that's the kind of energy I want~ Like, I may not be able to Change The World but if I can positively affect someone else's 'world', then it can have the same effect~!

That’s my sister. Now, I’ve just reached the point of “they’re judging us for it anyway, so if they ask, I’ll tell, but if not, then they don’t have to know.” XD Like, I own several anime shirts, and my favorite is my Bakugo shirt I got off Etsy. I get so many compliments when I wear it out in public, and if my parents are with me, they just get so confused.
I mean, to be fair, there are some animes that push the line between decent and not so decent, but that’s just the difference in cultures for you. America is so overly censored where the rest of the world isn’t. On one hand, I don’t blame parents for not liking it for those reasons, and on the other, it just really doesn’t bother me anymore. XD

*Again, same. My brother actually slipped up recently, while we were talking about something to do with my siblings or my parents. He said, "They're fine! You're the only problem!"
Please know that I'm not hurt or offended! I kind of already expected that way of thinking from him. I just watched his face as he cycled through regret and struggled to break the silence. He eventually stammered out "You're the only one with a problem with them" I took pity on him and responded with a joke. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt~
Nonetheless, I truly hope you haven't experienced anything of the sort?

*Though my mom is actually listening to me now, fortunately! I told her about why I'm changing up my meds and she just listened gravely.
Oh, the change is because I'm having less possible-mini-seizures - it only happened when i felt overwhelmed but I'm doing better now! ^^ " just sleeping all the time.
I was actually up all night~

*Ooh, lucky! I think my brothers and parents think anime merch is cringey. My sister and I have to get subtle things, like a sweater that she has in patterns of a character's kimono. I'm happy because it's her favorite! ^^
Yeah anime can be...sus. For that reason I tried to make sure my little brother stayed away from anime until he was old enough- but he already knows a bit much...mostly from Roblox, apparently lol
Yep, I got to that point too! I just bought a small cookie jar of an anime character and while my brother and dad poked fun at me (not maliciously, they just can't understand my 'obsession') I went ahead and got his plushy too despite their groans xD
I'd totally wear more merch if I could! Right now I don't have the money haha
I buy secondhand from the site/app Mercari when I get the chance!

My warrior cat came first, then Destiny. Peter started off as my imaginary friend, and he has just refused to go away. I’ve had him around for forever, and since he was there, I would use him in stories since he was the only character that I really knew. However, since he was more “friend” than “character,” fitting him into stories and plots just didn’t work out for long. So now he lives in my head being my goof ball and voice of affirmation when depression gets bad. He has taken it upon himself to be Self-Love personified. Whenever I’m feeling bad about myself, he’s there to mentally slap me around and try reminding me of all my good qualities. When I’m feeling sad or just drowning in emotions, he’s there to prove I’m not alone. It sounds weird, I know, but I guess that’s another coping mechanism I have: I personify a lot of things to help me understand them.

*Oh, no. It's not weird at all! If so, it's good weird! Like, I'm happy that you have him! It does sound like a coping mechanism- do you think his development could have paved the way for Winter?
Do you feel like he's grown up with you? And is it his different speech patterns that distinguish him from Winter? I imagine that they feel different, right?

Yes, it has. Mainly on older computers where I would write rough drafts of some of the first ever stories I made. I didn’t have a flash drive or any way of saving them to something else, so they’re gone forever. And some that I did manage to save, they were written on such an old version of Microsoft Word that trying to transfer it to a newer version won’t work. So I have them, but can’t even read them.

*You know the pain...
Right now, I use Evernote for story plotting/ideas. Do you have access to something like that? I learned my lesson from using apps that were simply called "Note" but I still use the built-in Notes app for ipad...
That's a relief! ^^ "

//waves

Heeeello? Is this place open to chat or am I busting in on something?