Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Oct 2, 2021 3:08:46 GMT -5
Orpheus looked at the drinking fountain for a long moment, eyes wide as he regarded it. Whatever they were going to see next, it had been worth turning the gravity off for. Orpheus turned to look at L., then pulled forward just enough to turn on the water. He was admittedly a little bit nervous. He didn’t know what to expect, and he didn’t really want to ruin the books. If the water went somewhere it wasn’t’ supposed to, what harm could it do? And… would the water behave the way it was supposed to? Was that something Elpis had to control? Had they ever seen water in a no gravity situation? Orpheus wished he could share this with L in a real world, not one that Elpis had created. If he had known what Elpis was thinking, he would have been disappointed. God had a connotation. It was the idea that you were better and more powerful than anyone else in the space. There was the implication that they were supposed to respect and worship you, not see you as a friend. They were supposed to forgive all of your wrongdoings and perhaps even blame themselves for your anger. No, Orpheus didn’t think it wise for Elpis to consider themself a god. It seemed like it would only lead to Elpis being a little more like the House. It would lead to them expecting certain treatment that weren’t befitting of a friendship. Orpheus may have owed Elpis a lot, but he was still a friend, not a subject. But none of that mattered, because Orpheus didn’t have a clue what was going on inside Elpis’ head. Sometimes he wished he did. Sometimes he wished it didn’t only go one way. “Here goes,” Orpheus murmured, glancing at L before pressing the button of the water fountain and watching the water… It was like… bubbles, but not quite. It held its shape, which was more than Orpheus had expected. He grinned, then moved forward to catch the odd form in his mouth and swallow. Somehow, it seemed surprising it still tasted like water. “Should… we do it again? That was… well, I thought it was pretty amazing.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Oct 8, 2021 19:46:34 GMT -5
L watched the water, half tempted to reach out and touch it, though he resisted. It wasn’t sure he wanted to do anything with it just yet…this felt like Orpheus’ moment. L had never experienced it, but he knew what would happen already. This seemed like a room where he should be allowed to do what he wanted. And he was still in the middle of an experiment. That seemed like a good enough reason to let him have what peace he could get. L didn’t think the experiments were all as bad as the one he’d been needed for but…he couldn’t help being wary, even so. His eyes widened as Orpheus caught the water in his mouth, and he tried to move closer. He managed to reach him without flipping upside, down and looked at the fountain, then Orpheus. “Let’s do it again,” he agreed, searching his eyes. “It’s an odd way for water to behave. I didn’t expect you to eat it, though.”
|
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Oct 26, 2021 2:57:20 GMT -5
L watched the water float around them, almost reaching out to touch it, but not quite. He was glad he couldn’t float away from Orpheus. He wasn’t sure he would be able to get back, and he didn’t want to be apart for even a moment if he didn’t have to be. This felt precious and rare, and he wanted to keep it close to him. “It makes sense,” he murmured, tilting his head to look at Orpheus instead of the water. “There are some things you can’t discover, until you’ve discovered other things first. People from my time don’t have to figure out how to build a telescope, so they can skip to looking at the stars. It’s odd to think about, though…I wonder what things I don’t know. Things someone from the future wouldn’t even think to tell me about, because they seem so normal.”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Nov 3, 2021 2:48:35 GMT -5
“Telescope,” Orpheus replied, tasting the word for a moment. It was more complicated than some of the other Japanese words he had heard, and he wasn’t entirely certain he was pronouncing it right, but he liked how it felt on his lips. “I… don’t know what that is, but if it lets you see the stars, it sounds like something I want to see. There are a lot of things in your world I want to see. I’ve probably seen a lot of them either here or in the House, but…” he didn’t look away from L, the water temporarily forgotten. “I want you to show me these things. I don’t want to remember them in memories that aren’t even mine.” He didn’t know how to get around that issue, but he would pretend to forget things if it meant that L could show him all of the things he wasn’t supposed to know. “I think the world is constantly making new things,” Orpheus murmured after a moment, reaching out to touch the water and watching it scatter. “I have a feeling the future is as unknowable for you as your time is for me.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Dec 6, 2021 20:51:51 GMT -5
“Telescope,” L repeated, slower this time, carefully making each sound as clear and separate as he could. He knew how to make a word easier to pronounce, by now, but it didn’t mean he knew how to make it easy. And some words were just hard no matter what. This wasn’t a language that existed in the world as Orpheus knew it, after all. “I know,” he added, his voice softer as he watched Orpheus touch the water. “I want to show you. I want…I suppose I want you to show me, too. The things that I’m not even thinking of now, that would seem impossible to you. Then I could explain them to you, and we’d both learn something.” It was an idealistic thought. He didn’t know when he’d started having those, but it had been long enough that they felt at home in his head, not stolen or borrowed, even if they originally had been. It was also a painful thought, now. He was caught between relishing the hope Elpis’ presence had given him, and half wishing he could let go of it completely. He didn’t know if he could cope with having it wrenched away from him again.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Dec 16, 2021 16:41:09 GMT -5
“Telescope,” Orpheus copied, a small smile touching his face as the word came out more similar to how L had said it. There were some sounds he just couldn’t make, but he was getting closer on the pronunciation of some things. He wasn’t fluent yet by any means, but… he liked that he was learning. And he liked that L was willing to teach him. “I already know about so many amazing things,” Orpheus whispered, watching as the water moved. “I know that… when I’m home with you… there are just going to be more. So many things that neither you nor I can predict, things that are beautiful and things that are just… useful, but beautiful in how they make people’s lives easier. Maybe… maybe you’ll be as amazed as I am, when you explain them to me.” He knew it was wishful thinking, at this point. He knew the chances of going home to L were still low. That didn’t, however, mean he was going to stop trying. Orpheus yawned suddenly, eyes widening as he realized how tired he was getting. It hadn’t been that long, but time tended to fly past when he was with L. He glanced at Elpis, hoping that they were willing to give him and L a little more time before they decided to measure his ability to do things at this level of exhaustion.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Dec 17, 2021 13:57:44 GMT -5
Elpis looked up as Orpheus yawned, their attention fixing on him again. They knew this was probably good for him, talking to L and getting to spend time with him, but they also knew he probably wouldn’t stop on his own. He never had in the past, and neither had L. The library vanished, the room from before replacing it. Elpis stepped forward, searching Orpheus’ expression for a moment before they spoke. “How are you feeling?” They asked, tilting their head a little. “I think the effects should be kicking in around now."
L smiled as Orpheus successfully got the word, giving a small, encouraging nod. It wasn’t easy…L himself found learning other languages challenging, and he had been practicing a lot longer than Orpheus had. Greek, though less universally useful than most of the ones L knew, held a special place in L’s heart. It made him want to learn it both as well and as quickly as possible. And then the room faded and he shifted instinctively closer to Orpheus, his gaze snapping to Elpis. The experiment hadn’t left his thoughts, not completely, but now it settled back to the front of them. He was worried, still…he knew better than to think not sleeping had never hurt anyone, but he had lasted a long time without sleep and been fine. So maybe it would be alright. Maybe he was overthinking it. “Don’t blink me out,” he said abruptly. They had before, with no warning. At least now, they’d have to clearly go against his wishes to do it.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Dec 18, 2021 13:49:14 GMT -5
Orpheus wasn’t sure if he was capable of stopping talking to L of his own volition. Physically speaking, of course he was. But he enjoyed talking to L, and as long as there was no reason to stop, he wasn’t apt to. It was a break, however miniscule, from everything else in his life. Or not life. He couldn’t be certain if he even counted as alive anymore, though he’d been killed enough times that he had a feeling he had some sort of approximation of life. He shuddered at the memory of the House forcing some of the people he cared about most to kill him. It had likely been harder for them than it had been for him, but the memories still hurt. He just… wished he could stop hurting everyone else. When he had made the agreement, he knew he would be used as a weapon some of the time. He just… thought he wouldn’t be used as directly against the people he loved. That had been a foolish assumption to make. “I… am tired,” he admitted lightly, taking L’s hand and leaning his head against the detective’s shoulder. “Tired enough that, if I were in my own world, I’d be going to sleep. Probably without much…” he frowned, trying to suppress another yawn that managed to sneak its way through “trouble,” he finished, glancing down at his and L’s intertwined hands. “Please don’t blink L out yet,” he added, hoping that two voices against the idea would make Elpis think twice about it. “He’s…” he hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Fiery L,” he whispered after a moment, a private smile touching his lips. He wasn’t nearly as exhausted and loopy as he’d been when he had said that the first time, but he figured L might get some amusement out of the reminder.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Dec 18, 2021 14:11:21 GMT -5
L knew he was capable of stopping talking to Orpheus, but he didn’t intend to. He was capable of plenty of things he would prefer not to do, and this was no exception. Elpis seemed…determined. Driven. Ambitious, perhaps. Or maybe they were just trying to get Orpheus out of this as quickly as they could…an unexpected shard of guilt pierced him. That was what he should be trying to do, too. Not forgetting what was happening just because he got to be held again for once. He’d do better. He wouldn’t be distracted so easily again. He glanced at Orpheus quickly, a small, secret smile playing at the edges of his lips at the words. They’d both been half dead when that had happened. L was impressed either of them even remembered anything they’d said, at the time, especially because he was certain his own memories weren’t entirely correct. It still seemed to glow inside of him. He had thought he’d appreciated the concept enough at the time - he’d been freezing, and very sure that anything warm was probably the best thing in the universe - but he hadn’t really. Not in the way he did now. “I’ll keep him awake,” he added, for Elpis’ benefit. He doubted they would understand the reference.
Elpis poked around inside his head a little, searching for any other symptoms they could monitor. They were learning as they went, so they didn’t know a lot about what they should be keeping an eye on, but they had a general idea of how Orpheus’ brain was supposed to work, so they figured they’d notice if something started changing. And anyway, they were watching for behavior as much as anything else. That felt easy enough to watch out for. “He’s not hurting anything,” they said after a moment, blinking at Orpheus, then L, then Orpheus again. “But it’s okay, you don’t have to try to stay awake. The thing I put in your head won’t let you fall asleep, even if you tried to.”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Dec 19, 2021 1:11:22 GMT -5
Orpheus glanced at L, something warm blossoming in him as L clearly understood what he was referring to. Elpis would be able to figure it out by poking into his thoughts and memories, but he didn’t mind that. Elpis wasn’t the House, they wouldn’t do anything harmful with that information. Besides, Fiery L had been a moment of softness between them. The first real moment of softness, if Orpheus were honest with himself. If anyone wanted to know where the strength of his feelings for L had stemmed, they didn’t need to look farther than how he had felt when L was the only warm thing in the world, and warmth had been the best thing he could possibly imagine. Something that was too wonderful to even begin describing with poetry. Still, Orpheus tried to capture L in song. And the warmth he felt for him hadn’t faded since that day, it had only grown stronger. Orpheus was also fairly certain that he only reason he wasn’t nodding off was because L was there. L was keeping him distracted and aware, and he didn’t want to lose a single moment with L by falling asleep. Even if he couldn’t technically fall asleep. “Do… you want to run a few tests before L and I go back to talking?” Orpheus asked, something in his voice almost reluctant. He knew it wouldn’t take very long, but he didn’t have much time with L, between the House and Elpis. He knew the time with Elpis was just so that he could go back to L as quickly as possible, but it was hard to remember sometimes when all he wanted to do was lean against L and run a hand through his hair until he was tired enough that he couldn’t think straight anymore. And then he would kiss him until he was too tired to do that, too. By that point… Elpis might have reached the end of their experiment. He stifled another yawn, instinctively curling a little bit closer to L.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 19, 2022 1:49:03 GMT -5
L knew Elpis could easily figure out what they were talking about by poking around inside either of their thoughts, but if he were honest, he didn’t think he wanted them to. It hadn’t been his moment alone, but that was part of what had made it so important…he had forgotten what warmth was, in that room. Orpheus had been the one to remind him. He didn’t need to be a poet to see the metaphor there. He wondered, sometimes, if Orpheus knew. He looked at Elpis, wondering how well he could block them out of his own thoughts. Distrust was his default state, and so far…they hadn’t done much to change his mind. He focused on his mind, doing his best to put up mental barriers. It wasn’t that different from lying, really…when you told a lie, a part of you needed to believe it, or it wouldn’t be convincing. This was a similar process. He instinctively put an arm around Orpheus as he curled closer, shifting so he was pressed against him, sharing his warmth the way they had so long ago. Only this time, there was no part of his mind that worried he shouldn’t.
“I think that would be a good idea,” Elpis replied, approaching the two of them. Or…approaching Orpheus, but L was in almost the same place as he was. “There’s no point in doing this if I don’t learn all I can, right? And I can learn a lot by keeping an eye on your mind and your vitals and thought process, but there are some things I haven’t really figured out how to monitor yet. And I could be missing something I haven’t even thought to try monitoring, too.” They’d noticed that about other people who discovered things in other worlds. A lot of breakthroughs were unexpected, because it wasn’t like you could anticipate learning something before you’d learned it. “How are you feeling right now?” They added, deciding to start with the more general questions and work their way in.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Feb 25, 2022 4:04:06 GMT -5
Orpheus was fairly certain he had never gone this long without sleeping. Not absolutely certain, given how often he let himself get absorbed in music and subsequently forgot to either eat or sleep, but fairly certain. He could feel it weighing on him now, his eyes wanting to close and his brain sounding a little bit like what L had called a dial tone when the House had made them talk over the phone one time. It would be so easy to fall asleep here, curled up in L’s arms… this was everything he had wanted for longer than he had the words to express. He had thought his death had taken that possibility from him. But if Elpis could get him free… his thoughts drifted off into gibberish as he let his eyes close. It was comfortable here… The barrier in his mind jolted Orpheus awake again and he mumbled something unpleasant under his breath. Not a curse, exactly, but as close as Orpheus ever got to one. “Comfortable,” Orpheus mumbled, not wanting to stand up and move away from L. “And tired,” he added, in case that wasn’t already obvious. “Is… there anything else you need to know?” He knew if he stayed awake for much longer he would very quickly lose his ability to articulate himself well. He could already feel it slipping away. In a way, this would have been the perfect time to create poetry. His mind wasn’t quite as anchored to the strict rules of language anymore. He could feel it poking and prodding in different directions, coming up with different ways to play with words. Whether or not they were coherent was another issue entirely, but he could always compose something mentally and edit it when he had gotten some sleep, right? “I don’t wanna get up,” Orpheus whispered, pulling just a little closer to L. “Do I have to?” He didn’t care if he sounded like a petulant child. If he got up, Elpis might send L home. That was about the last thing Orpheus wanted in the moment.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 25, 2022 22:45:46 GMT -5
Elpis tapped lightly into Orpheus’ mind as he spoke, trying to tell how much of how he was acting could be counted as symptoms. They knew Orpheus had said love could make you not make sense, and though it had been a long time since that conversation…they’d found the sentiment held true. Orpheus rarely made sense when it came to the things he loved. “You should probably get up and move around soon, if you still can,” they replied thoughtfully. “I think your body is beginning to react to the lack of sleep. Your brain waves look a little different than they did, and I think maybe your critical thinking is beginning to be a little impaired? But we should run some tests to see how much.” They were tempted to try a puzzle of some kind, but they didn’t know what Orpheus’ standard was…they should have tested it earlier, but they hadn’t thought of it. Well, they could always test it later after Orpheus recovered, right?
L couldn’t help the slow tension spreading through him as he heard Orpheus’ voice. He himself had stayed awake longer than this before, he assumed…though he didn’t know for sure how long it had been. Orpheus had already been awake for a while when he’d blinked in. But that was irrelevant. L knew sleep didn’t work the same way for him as it did for everyone else. He had seen people struggling to function after a mere 24 hours, and it was rare to even meet adults who had stayed awake longer than 48 more than once or twice in their life. Or, perhaps not rare. But it was never the norm for them. “Alright, you’ve seen how sleep deprivation is affecting him,” he pointed out, a slight edge to his voice as he stared at Elpis. “You’ve certainly proven you can keep him awake. Isn’t it about time to let him rest now?” He reached out, putting an arm protectively around Orpheus’ shoulders. He couldn’t tell if his worry came from sense or paranoia, and he knew it wasn’t really his decision, but he couldn’t help wanting the block to be out of Orpheus’ head sooner rather than later. There had been more than enough changes made in there already.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Feb 26, 2022 15:59:00 GMT -5
Orpheus let out a breath, letting himself sink into L’s embrace. He was comfortable, and though he didn’t really think that he needed protection from Elpis, he found he wanted to stay here with L instead of worrying about what was going to happen to him the longer he went without sleep. He wanted to curl up here and stay in L’s arms forever. The ‘forever’ bit may have been due to the nonsense that came with being in love, but the rest of it felt like it made sense. L was warm, this position was comfortable, and Orpheus hadn’t slept in a while. “Can I do whatever it is you want me to do without getting up?” Orpheus asked hopefully, tilting his head as he looked at Elpis. “I mean… you can ask me questions and see how my mind is working just fine with me laying here, and it’s not like L can be here forever, so… so I want to be with him for as long as I can. You have… you have to let me stay with him until he falls asleep.” There was just a tinge of desperation in his voice, though it wasn’t necessarily directed at Elpis. Being tired, it seemed, brought out the part of him that wanted to cling to L every time he saw him, knowing full well that the House would make him an enemy more often than not. Most of the time when he saw L, they were at odds because Orpheus wasn’t himself. There were stories and lives crammed into his head, or the House was directly impacting the way he was moving and what he was saying. Sometimes he wondered if there truly was any difference. “I’ll be okay,” Orpheus whispered to L, pulling himself just a little bit closer. “I’ll be okay, it’s not like the House. I just… I just don’t want to let you go. Because… I’m… I’m always afraid that he next time I recognize you, you’ll be lying in a pool of your own blood. I…” he felt his throat close, the fear (and memory) threatening to drag him under. “I don’t want to lose you. I’m so afraid that you’ll be gone for good and… and it’ll be my fault.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 26, 2022 17:52:20 GMT -5
“Well…” Elpis hesitated, eyeing the two of them for a long moment. They didn’t think Orpheus could do all the tests effectively from where he was now, but he could probably do some of them that way, right? Or he could do the same test a couple times both standing and sitting, to see if that would change the results at all. They guessed he would start thinking more clearly when he was up, but that was a theory they’d have liked to test. “We can start with you sitting, if you want,” they offered. “But you’ll have to sit up a little. Is that harder now than it was? Sitting up, I mean?”
“I’m not going to fall asleep,” L replied, eyes narrowing a little as he looked at Orpheus. “Not until you do. I’m not going anywhere…I don’t want you to blink me out.” The last part was aimed at Elpis. He stared at them for a long moment to make sure he’d been understood, then turned back to search Orpheus’ expression again. “It’s never your fault,” he whispered. “You know that. The things that happen here are not your fault, they’re the House’. A weapon is not a killer, and you would never hurt me. I know that…I still trust you more than I can understand. I still feel safe here, next to you, safer than I know how to be. But I am afraid, too. I’m afraid that I’ll blink in and you won’t be there at all, and…” He swallowed it back. There would be a time to talk about that, and when Orpheus was sleep deprived probably wasn’t it. “And I’m afraid now. I don’t want anyone else to put things in your mind…I love your mind as it is. Haven’t they seen enough now? How long do you have to be without sleep before they stop?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Feb 26, 2022 18:22:37 GMT -5
“It’s not harder,” Orpheus protested quietly, “I just don’t want to do it. I’m comfortable.” Reluctantly, he forced himself to sit up. The blood immediately rushed to his head, forcing Orpheus to reach out a hand to catch himself against the ground. “That was unexpected,” he muttered, doing his best not to look at either L or Elpis. He didn’t want them to know he was struggling. Especially L. Elpis would have to know if their experiment were to go well, but L would be worried. He would try to get the experiment to stop, and Orpheus was okay. He was going to be okay, and the last thing he wanted was an argument to break out between the man he loved and the person he trusted with his freedom. With his life, his future, and his hope. “They’re more my fault than you’re willing to admit,” Orpheus whispered, finally lifting his gaze to meet L’s. “I made that decision. I didn’t consider everything that might happen. I never considered how much it would hurt you… I thought I would be blinking in long after you died. I thought when the House took me that there would be nobody I cared about left. I… I’m so sorry.” Orpheus had apologized before, but this was different. This was an admission of everything he had failed to consider. Everything L would have thought about before making such a monumental decision. “I miss you,” he whispered, letting his eyes close after a long moment. He knew it didn’t have to be spoken to be understood, but he felt the need to express it anyway. “I’ll stand up,” Orpheus announced, forcing himself to his feet, “But please don’t blink L out. Not yet.” He didn’t want to negotiate it, but he would if he had to. He wasn’t losing L until L fell asleep. By then, Orpheus wasn’t sure he’d be particularly functional himself.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Feb 26, 2022 18:43:51 GMT -5
“Orpheus?” L asked, worry sharpening his tone a little as Orpheus caught himself. He reached out, catching his arm to steady him in case he fell the rest of the way. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” He couldn’t tell if he was being overprotective or not. He didn’t mean to be, but here, it wasn’t the House behind those soft hazel eyes, it was the person he loved, the person who loved him enough to keep fighting even after so long. The person L was terrified would be hurt for long enough to get used to it. Was he overreacting? Or was he not reacting enough yet? “They are not your fault,” he repeated firmly, trying hit best to hold Orpheus’ gaze as soon as he caught it. “The House did this. You didn’t know it would be like this…when you agreed, you didn’t know. And you were never going to let Elpis die. I know that.” He moved as Orpheus began to stand, keeping a gentle but firm hold on his arm in case he lost his balance. This was new territory…he only had first hand experience with sleep deprivation, and it was nowhere near the same thing. But he wouldn’t fall asleep. He could stay awake until the end. He wouldn’t leave Orpheus alone.
Elpis blinked a little, falling silent both to listen and to check Orpheus’ brain again. Right…it wasn’t reacting the same way it had been before. So apparently this was when the effects really started to kick in…they made a note of that for later. It was good to have a range in mind for that. It was interesting to hear the difference in the way he spoke. Even though these were mostly things he’d expressed before…he did it differently now, as though he had lost some of his verbal filter, or just didn’t think the same way. Maybe that would be a good place to start? To ask him questions and see if his answers matched up with his previous ones? “I think it’s okay for L to stay for now,” they replied almost absentmindedly, still trying to decide how best to go about this. “I mean, he can’t really change it, I don’t think. He might make you feel different, but the physical effects should be unchanged. Why do you want him to stay so much?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Feb 27, 2022 15:33:06 GMT -5
“Just… a little unsteady,” Orpheus admitted after a moment, his cheeks reddening almost imperceptibly. “The blood rushed to my head and…” he let that thought hang in the air, trusting L to be able to finish it by himself. “I… I’m okay. I just don’t want to lose you right now. I’m…” he was seconds away from saying he was fine, but he had promised once not to lie to L about that. “It’s just because I’m tired,” he said after a moment. “I trust that Elpis won’t let me hurt myself. More than that, I trust that you won’t let me hurt myself either.” He gave what he hoped was a comforting smile, but just as easily could have been a grimace. “I’m still sorry,” Orpheus breathed, though he knew L would never let him take responsibility for what had happened. It had been his fault. He had made the decision to save Elpis without considering what the other effects might be. He had hurt people. More than just L. Every person he’d ever been friend with in the House. Orpheus was grateful for L’s support as he stood. He was vaguely aware that there was some sort of metaphor hidden there, but he was too tired to search for it. He would either let it speak for itself, or let L figure it out. “I want him to stay because I don’t get to see him,” Orpheus murmured, leaning at least some of his weight against L. “Most of the time, when I see him, one of us has to hurt the other. Most of the time I’m not myself. It’s not… it’s not making up for lost time, but it’s close. And… and I want to have moments with him… where I don’t have to hurt him. Where things are okay, even if we’re going through things together. It’s like… it’s like the House, but more reliable. Because I know you won’t blink him out without permission. Because… because the only time I really feel safe is with him.” He was mumbling, the thoughts turning into rambles that weren’t edited before they left his mind. “Also I love him.” It wasn’t an afterthought, but it was important enough that it needed to hang in the air by itself, undiluted by any other thoughts.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Mar 29, 2022 1:00:46 GMT -5
L watched Orpheus carefully, eyes narrowed just a little. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe him, but he was worried. The experiment felt dangerous, even though he couldn’t say exactly what could happen. He wasn’t as familiar with this as he should have been. He made a mental note to research other types of deprivation when he blinked back, in case Elpis had any more ideas. “I wish I could trust that,” he murmured, shaking his head just a little. He didn’t trust Elpis to protect Orpheus. Even if they weren’t intentionally cruel, he barely even knew them, and though he trusted Orpheus’ judgement implicitly…he couldn’t shake his worry. Orpheus could usually tell whether people were good at heart, he knew that. But, still…even a kind person could cause a lot of damage in the wrong situation. He may have been able to tell a person’s intentions, but what about their judgement?
Elpis nodded a little bit absently, their mind testing the boundaries of the safe space they’d created. If the House found them…they weren’t sure what would happen, but they had a feeling it wouldn’t have been good. They were meddling. The House seemed like the kind of being that didn’t appreciate meddlers. “I don’t think there’s any reason he’d have to leave,” they said finally, drawing their attention back to the room they stood in, and their friend, standing just a little bit more wobbly than they usually did. “Do you feel like you could run around the room a couple times?” They continued, focusing on how his mind felt, and any differences they could detect in it. “Without falling over?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Mar 30, 2022 2:58:14 GMT -5
Orpheus tried to give L a reassuring smile, though he was fairly certain he missed the mark a little bit. He was used to the House doing things to him. He was used to stories being jammed in his head, used to weapons pressed in his hands and whispers in the back of his mind (or even in his muscles themselves) begging him to kill and hurt and destroy. This, though likely somewhat dangerous, seems harmless. He was still himself. He was, admittedly, a tired version of himself, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he was allowed to remain Orpheus, and he was allowed to have L beside him. There was little else that mattered to him after everything else he had been through. “I promise you,” Orpheus whispered, though he knew that lowering his voice wouldn’t matter much. If Elpis wanted to hear what he was saying, they were going to listen, “That Elpis can’t do anything worse to me here than the House has already done. This is a way to get home, love.” He didn’t need to imbue any more confidence in his voice. No matter what else he was feeling about the experiment, he had unwavering certainty that this was one step to getting him back home. It was difficult for Orpheus to wrench his attention back to Elpis, but when he did he found himself swaying a little more on his feet. “I… don’t want to,” he admitted, gritting his teeth, “but I suppose I don’t have a choice. Physically… I bet I could.” The image of moving more than a couple of feet at a time just felt… unappealing. It wouldn’t kill him, but he didn’t want to do it.
|
|