Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 1:10:19 GMT -5
Orpheus wished he knew how much time he had been in the House. He wished there was a way to know exactly how much time he had lost. He would never have an answer to that. Like the number of blinks he’d had before he had died, that number was gone forever. Someone needed to be keeping track of it for it to be remembered, and Orpheus hadn’t had a way to keep track. L would know how much time had passed in his world, but that wasn’t the same. It was possible that Orpheus had been under the House’s thumb for centuries. He wasn’t sure he was really alive other than when the House said he was. He hadn’t aged even a day since he had died, except when the House decided it suited its purposes to make him older. Orpheus shuddered as a memory threatened to push its way through. The worst times were when the House had him pretend to be himself, but slightly off. He remembered all too well the room it had given L, the one where they had been able to grow old together. It had been cruel. They weren’t focusing on the House right now, though. This moment was about Elpis. This moment was about the song Orpheus had dedicated to them before he had known much of anything about them. The trance didn’t come yet. It might, if he started writing new songs, but… for now, he was just playing. For now, he was making sure his thoughts were heard. Everything he had thought about Elpis, then. His feelings had grown, since, but… what he had felt then still held true now.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 1:25:12 GMT -5
The House had almost complete control of Orpheus. It could make him do almost anything, feel almost anything…Orpheus had given himself up. Elpis had gone free as a result, but that meant this was forever. Orpheus had agreed to it. Would Orpheus eventually stop existing if this went on long enough? If Elpis failed? Had this ever happened before? They didn’t know for sure, but…they found they doubted it. If this had happened before, the House probably wouldn’t have bothered doing it again. It liked excitement, new things. That was why it put them all in different rooms, probably. They didn’t know if they were right about it, but…they thought they were pretty good at figuring things out. They didn’t know much of Orpheus’ past. They’d looked briefly into his head, but not in depth. Maybe that could be a way to pass the time, after the music. Maybe they could tell some stories. The music felt…real. It almost seemed to breathe life into Orpheus, taking some of the exhaustion away. They felt almost mesmerized, just a little bit.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 1:33:55 GMT -5
A lot of people, L included, had referred to Orpheus’ music as magic. He had never liked the label. It made it feel like nobody else could achieve the music he made without some sort of innate talent. He didn’t believe that was the case. If anyone worked as hard as Orpheus had, they would be able to play like he did. He had devoted his life to it before he even knew how to speak. He had grown up on music. He had learned to speak it as a language before he had actually learned to speak. If anyone else had spent their life as immersed in it as Orpheus, he had no doubt they would be equally as skilled. Besides, it was all about the work that was put into it. Talent may have given a minor boost at the very beginning, but no amount of talent could substitute for actual time, effort, and practice. Still… Orpheus couldn’t help the feeling that the music he was playing right now was a little bit magic. It was the first time he had felt truly able to breathe since the House had first taken him. He had been able to live and breathe and be himself when he was with L, but… music had always been his native language. Going without it was like trying to live underwater. His lungs weren’t built for it. Orpheus melted into it, pouring all of his relief, all of his gratitude into the music. The song had meant one thing, when he had played it for the first time. It still meant that, but it meant more now. It filled the room, permeating every inch of it.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 1:43:12 GMT -5
- Elpis had let themself get immersed in the music, though probably not as much as Orpheus tended to. They hadn’t ever really listened to music before, and now..,they didn’t think they’d ever be able to miss it again. It was always going to make them think of Orpheus, now. Always going to make them wonder what he’d hear in it, because he couldn’t possibly hear it the same way they had. He would hear the technique, the condition of the instrument..,probably a lot more, too. They were comfortable on the floor, paying more attention to Orpheus than to the fact that they hadn’t moved since the start. It wasn’t like their hand could fall asleep, after all. There was nothing to distract them, nothing to take their mind off of him as he let himself play, really play, for the first time in a very long time.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 1:49:35 GMT -5
There was nothing quite like getting lost in the music. Nothing quite like letting himself play for hours and looking up when the time was done, shocked to find that any time had passed at all. It was like that now, the only thing that pulled Orpheus away from music being the fact that he hadn’t had anything to drink since he had started, and his voice was getting a bit hoarse. He didn’t want to ruin his vocal chords, even if Elpis could probably fix them if he did. “Can… I have some water?” Orpheus asked, straightening up and setting the lyre down. He didn’t want to cut the music short, but… he stifled a yawn with one hand, then looked up at Elpis, wide eyed. “I’m tired!” It was an exciting statement. “Not tired enough to sleep now, I don’t think, but… I yawned. Which… could be the dehydration, but… my eyelids are getting a little bit heavy, too.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 1:57:54 GMT -5
Elpis loved Orpheus’ music. They loved hearing it…it had been soothing, peaceful. Orpheus clearly hadn’t lost any of their skill, even though they hadn’t played in who knew how long. Even though they hadn’t even been themself for most of that time. The things they’d gone through would have been enough to destroy a lot of people. Somehow…Orpheus was still able to be who they were. They were still trying to survive. Elpis was more grateful for that than they could express. They looked up as the music faded and Orpheus spoke, then nodded, holding out a hand and making a glass of water appear in it. “Here,” said quietly, handing it over. Humans needed a lot of water, apparently. Which just made them wonder what would happen without it. They perked up as he continued, suddenly focused. “First signs of tiredness!” They replied brightly, smiling at him. “On a scale from one to ten, one being wide awake and ten being not able to stay awake anymore, how tired do you think you are?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 2:10:32 GMT -5
Orpheus didn’t know what sort of doors this experiment would open. He didn’t know that one experiment would likely lead to more. He had no idea that this experiment was going to turn into something a little bit less pleasant. Right now, he was enjoying himself. He gave Elpis a small smile, making sure his lyre was safe where he had set it. He trusted Elpis to treat it well. They had kept it safe this long. Or maybe the House had kept it safe…? Orpheus wasn’t quite certain, but he wasn’t going to overthinking it. “Hm…” he thought for a moment, stifling another yawn. He didn’t know how long it had been since he had slept, but he had a feeling that he would have fallen asleep by now on an ordinary night. “I would say… maybe a… four? Somewhere in there. I’m tired, but I could stay up longer, even without whatever block you put in my head. I think I would normally start getting comfortable around now though, so I could go to sleep. What should we do now, do you think? Or… do you have more questions so you can get a better assessment of sleep deprivation?”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 2:19:38 GMT -5
Elpis considered that, trying to place what that meant for their experiment. A four was almost halfway to being too tired to stay awake. Did that mean they were going to start using the barrier? Elpis was actually sort of excited to see him that would work. They knew in theory what it did, but things were always different in practice, so they were eager to see it for themself. “I don’t really know,” they admitted, frowning a little at him. “I think, if your getting tired, things will probably start to get harder to do. We should definitely repeat some of the same things we did before, at some point, but it’s probably still too soon to see much of a change. I guess…is there anything you’ve been wanting to do? This is a good time for things like that, because we can multitask.”
|
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 2:39:42 GMT -5
Elpis didn’t really have any responsibilities, either. Existing outside the worlds as they did, it wasn’t like anyone even knew about them to tell them to do things. They didn’t have much of a goal, really. Besides freeing Orpheus of course. They hesitated, considering whether L’s presence would disrupt the experiment at all. It wasn’t like he could really do anything to make Orpheus need sleep any less, right? He might still be mad at them, but this wasn’t about that. It would probably be fine. Besides, knowing Orpheus, if they wanted to be his friend, they couldn’t avoid L forever. “Yeah, okay,” they agreed. “I think that should be fine.”
L blinked in, curled awkwardly as though he’d been sitting in a too small chair. Crouching, rather, but it had the same effect. He was looking down, expression pensive, one hand reaching off to the side for something no longer there. He looked up, eyes widening a little as he realized where he was. And then that where he was, wasn’t what he’d been expecting it to be. The room was different. He stood, turning to check over his shoulder before his eyes caught on Orpheus. The House wouldn’t have changed the living room. It never had before, and to do so now would be…well, unlike it. Still, he couldn’t count out the possibility entirely. He glanced at Elpis, eyes narrowing slightly. If they were here, he could only assume it was an experiment. If they had blinked him in for it… “Orpheus?” He asked cautiously, looking back at him, eyes searching his for any sign that it was really him.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 2:48:02 GMT -5
Orpheus’ stomach turned at the way L was looking at him. The suspicion evident in his dark eyes, the uncertainty, written across the fractured mask that likely would have seemed whole to anyone other than Orpheus. He could read L better than most people. He knew L better than anyone else except perhaps Watari. One day he hoped that Watari could share the L he knew with him, and Orpheus could return the favor. Until that day, though… “It’s me,” Orpheus confirmed softly, then dipped his head towards the lyre. “I can play for you to prove it, if you’d like.” It was hard to know how to navigate situations like this. How many times had L blinked into rooms where the House had tried to convince him that he could actually talk to Orpheus? Orpheus swallowed, hating the thousands of ways the House had used him to hurt L. Lightly, Orpheus tapped It’s okay, on the side of his leg. He didn’t want L to be worrying. It was an experiment, true, but it wasn’t at all like the last one that L had been pulled into. This one wasn’t cruel that way. “I miss when we could just… embrace each other when we saw each other,” Orpheus admitted aloud, searching L’s eyes.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 2:58:25 GMT -5
L wanted to be able to just believe it was Orpheus again. To think the chances that it wasn’t were low enough that he didn’t need to worry about it. That wasn’t the way things were anymore, though. The House had made sure of that in every way it had available to it. Again and again, it proved that he couldn’t trust anything, even what he’d trusted above all else, once. It was good at that. Breaking them both at the same time, over and over, like a child smashing two toys together for the fun of hearing them crack. He glanced at the lyre, eyes widening a little. What purpose did that serve in Elpis’ experiment? He was grateful for it, even if he didn’t quite trust that it was a good thing, without knowing the context. He noticed the tapping, as he always did. Did Elpis know their code? Surely they could recreate it, if they wanted to. Still…the House never had. Maybe it couldn’t for some reason. “It’s alright. I believe you,” he said finally, making his decision. He hesitated a second longer, weighing the chances of this backfiring, before he moved forward, breaking into a run to cross the distance to Orpheus faster.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 3:12:07 GMT -5
Orpheus searched L’s eyes, longing and pain flooding him in equal amounts. He wanted to hold L close and promise him that he would find his way back to him. He wanted to promise him that he would never have to worry about whether Orpheus was who he appeared to be or not. Those were promises that Orpheus could never make, even if Elpis succeeded in getting him free. The House could still hurt L with Orpheus’ image, even if Orpheus wasn’t in its grasp anymore. He thought he might hate it. There was no room for hate at the moment, though. Orpheus caught L grasping him and spinning him around once so they wouldn’t both be bowled back by L’s momentum. “Hi, love,” Orpheus gasped, pulling L close to him and breathing in his familiar scent. He let his eyes close, though he had no interest in falling asleep. He just… wanted to hold L and exist in a world where it was just the two of them for as long as he could. “Are you working on any interesting cases right now?” Orpheus breathed, wanting to hear every detail of L’s life. Wanting to imagine a world where he could implant himself into it, where he could watch L’s cases happen in real time instead of having to hear about them afterwards.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 3:35:06 GMT -5
They would probably never be completely safe from the House. Even if they got Orpheus out, it could always blink them in again. It could always force them both through rooms, and if it was angry, those rooms would probably be worse than any they went through when Orpheus was still alive. He let himself be spun, his muscles relaxed as pulled as close he as could. He didn’t want to let go…last time, he’d been forced to. He didn’t want to be torn away this time. He didn’t want to disagree on what he should do, he didn’t want Orpheus to try and tell him he should move on…not this time. He was going to hold on, and they were going to make this just a little he easier on each other. “I missed you,” he murmured, breathing in Orpheus’ scent, the feeling of his arms, the exact pressure he used to hold L…everything that made him who he was. “Only a couple that met my qualifications, but none that are too unusual,” he replied after a moment, letting out a small sigh. Truthfully…it was hard to work under the circumstances, but he wasn’t going to say that now.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 3:48:40 GMT -5
“I missed you too,” Orpheus whispered, weaving his fingers lightly into L’s hair and holding him close. If living without music was like being unable to breathe, then living without L was like living without a heartbeat. It was impossible. He pressed his forehead lightly against L’s, relishing the feeling of two halves becoming whole again. They were two complete people on their own, of course, but they were stronger together. It felt… safer together. At least… it had. Orpheus didn’t know if L still felt that way. But he didn’t want to leave, and Orpheus was tired. He didn’t want to try to convince L to leave. He wasn’t dead. He didn’t want to have to convince L to act like he was. As long as he was alive there was hope. He just had to keep breathing. He just had to make sure not to give up hope. “That’s too bad,” Orpheus hummed softly, relishing the vibration of L’s words against his skin. They were as close as they could get, and it wasn’t unusual in the slightest. This was a comfortable and familiar state of being. “Maybe you’ll get a really good case soon. Maybe it’ll be interesting enough that you won’t have to worry about anything else for a while.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 1, 2021 4:06:59 GMT -5
They were always going to be safer together. They were always going to be strongest when they were holding each other, when there was no space between them at all. L didn’t think it was possible for that to change. He wouldn’t let it, even if it was. He held onto Orpheus, not moving back. This felt right, this…this was how it was supposed to be. How it would be every day, eventually. He had to believe that. He listened, letting Orpheus’ voice wash over him. It was the same as it had always been, still. Somehow…Orpheus was still very much Orpheus. He didn’t quite reply to that. They both knew a new case wouldn’t mean he wasn’t worried about anything else. They both knew he wasn’t going to be able to get lost in his work the same way until this was over. But he didn’t need to point it out. “Are you alright?” He asked, leaning back a little to see him better. “Are the experiments…?” He glance at Elpis for a moment, then away. He didn’t trust this, but he did trust Orpheus. He had to assume he knew what he was doing.
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 1, 2021 18:48:39 GMT -5
Orpheus gave a quiet sigh. He wished for a world where L could get lost in cases again. Where Orpheus could be in the other room, playing quietly. He would stop whenever L had to get on the phone, and maybe he would sit behind him sometimes with his chin resting where L’s shoulder met his neck. The idea of just… spending time with each other… that was all Orpheus longed for. He missed being alive. He missed feeling like he had a chance to have a life with L, even if he knew that they could never have what other couples had. He was just… tired. He couldn’t say that. L was probably more tired than Orpheus was. Orpheus wasn’t himself most of the time when the House had him. He had to remember it later, but… L had to be painfully aware of everything that was happening. “I’m alright,” Orpheus confirmed, pulling back just enough that he could look L in the eyes. There were benefits to being curled close, of course, but he couldn’t see L’s face nearly as well as he wanted to that way. “This is an experiment,” he added in a quiet voice, glancing down at L’s hand and taking it gently in his own. “Elpis is seeing what the effects of sleep deprivation will be. So I just have to stay awake, and… who better to help me with that than you?” He curled close again, letting his eyes close for just a moment. “Besides, I missed you. And I don’t want to waste a single moment I could be spending with you.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 15:04:03 GMT -5
They had probably never had a real chance to have the sort of life together that most people got to have. They had never been in the same world. They had never been able to wake up next to each other, never able to share a whole day, never able to explore the streets or shop or meander with no goal at all. Of course, now, they didn’t even have the good rooms to imitate that. They didn’t even have quiet days where they tempted fate by not going in a room at all. Orpheus wasn’t even Orpheus, most of the time. The number of times L had ended up on the floor, unfamiliar eyes watching him from a face he knew better than his own. Nowhere was safe anymore. The House only hurt. His world was a constant bitter reminder of what he’d lost. His dreams, when he did eventually sleep, were worst of all, because there, it was a mix of present and past, a horrible world where the impersonation of the person he loved most wasn’t an impersonation at all. Where he had Orpheus back, and he recognized the look in his eye, and death hadn’t been the torture it had turned out to be. He would never admit it, but these were the dreams he feared most. The ones that ended in his death were nothing in comparison to the ones where everything was alright again. But, for now…he could have this. Orpheus was here, and he wasn’t under any illusion it was permanent, but it was real. “Sleep deprivation?” He repeated, blinking as it processed. “How long do you have to stay awake?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 15:22:01 GMT -5
Orpheus knew that what they’d had before was far from perfect. They never got to decide how long to stay together. They rarely fell asleep in each other’s arms. They weren’t allowed to choose their activities; they just had to do what the House decided for them. It hadn’t been easy, but it had been theirs. What they had now… Orpheus wasn’t sure there was anything to have. He rubbed the place where his engagement ring had been, once. He didn’t know where it was. Elpis had never seen it, so it wasn’t as though they could make it reappear with Orpheus’ clothing. The House probably had it somewhere, unless it was kind enough to have given it back to L. Somehow, Orpheus doubted that was the case. They had both made promises. Orpheus had ensured that all of them were broken, though that hadn’t been his intent. “As long as I can, physically,” Orpheus replied softly, searching L’s expression. “Elpis put something in my mind to make it so I can’t physically fall asleep.” Orpheus may not have known what the exact purpose of the experiment was in relation to taking down the House, but he wasn’t going to question it. He was helping Elpis learn and train, and if this was part of it, then that was fine with him. “I’ve already been awake for…” he frowned, glancing back at Elpis. He didn’t actually know how long it had been. “About a day, I would guess? Maybe a little bit less…” he hummed softly under his breath, considering that before letting himself relax fully against L again. “You don’t have to stay up with me. But I figured… if I have all this time to spend, there’s nobody I’d rather do it with.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 15:36:36 GMT -5
Perfect or not, L would have done anything to be able to go back. They had been together, then. They had been able to see each other, and trust that they would again, even if they blinked out. The House hadn’t always been kind, but it could have been much, much worse. It could have made one of them go through years and years without the other, while making it a day for the other one. It could have given them rooms far worse than the ones it had. L was very aware now that the House had been holding back. This…this was cruelty. This was what the House was capable of. He tensed a little as Orpheus spoke, and looked at Elpis, eyes narrowing. He may not have slept as much as he was supposed to, but that was his own choice. He could sleep, usually. A block in Orpheus’ brain sounded… Bad. “If you can’t physically fall asleep, then you’re not testing how long you can physically stay awake,” he replied, the lightness in his voice fading into something a little lower. He couldn’t keep the worry out of his expression as he looked at Orpheus, then Elpis. “You’re testing what happens if you can’t sleep. How long, Elpis? If he can’t sleep, that can’t be the end of the experiment. When does it end?”
Elpis blinked, taking a small step back as L looked at them. He was technically right, they knew, but Orpheus had agreed to it, and they hadn’t broken any rules. They didn’t quite see what he was getting so worked up about. “I’m just looking into what happens when someone can’t sleep,” they told him, glancing at Orpheus for help. “He agreed to it. The barrier won’t hurt him, and he can sleep when it’s over.” They shrugged. “I don’t know when it ends. It’s an experiment. If I knew that, I wouldn’t need to do it.”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 15:55:41 GMT -5
Orpheus breathed out, pulling enough away from L that he could see his expression. He could tell that L was worried about it, but he didn’t think there was any reason to be. Sleep was important, yes, but Orpheus didn’t know any of the risks of not sleeping. He didn’t know any of the side effects that could occur. L likely did. L, Orpheus was aware, had likely experienced any side effects himself. L was still healthy, though, so Orpheus wasn’t concerned. He doubted he’d be able to go much longer than L could without sleeps. He knew there was a distinction between seeing how long he was physically able to go and seeing what would happen if he couldn’t sleep, but he wasn’t considering the difference as something large. Yet. If things got bad, he might have to. “Elpis won’t let anything bad happen to me,” Orpheus whispered, pulling L a little bit closer again. He didn’t want to let go of him, for fear that the moment might end. He knew he had already killed the moment by mentioning the experiments, though… a soft sigh built in his throat. “I’m not risking anything,” Orpheus added, hoping that might put L at ease. “I guarantee you that the House has done worse, and… I’m doing it of my own volition. It’s one step closer to getting me home, yeah? As long as I’m helping Elpis train, I’m getting closer and closer to being able to wake up in your arms.” It was odd, knowing that they’d never had a chance at living in the same world. The best they had hoped for was Orpheus haunting L eventually. Now, though, there was a chance that they could live together in the future. Orpheus had to wonder if it was really worth all of the pain and heartache they had been through.
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 16:13:57 GMT -5
Orpheus had no way of knowing what would happen to someone without sleep. Orpheus hadn’t seen studies on it, hadn’t been told the side effects several times, because he wasn’t from L’s time, and he didn’t have L’s habits, which meant even if the information had been available, he probably wouldn’t have anyone giving him all the information they could find to try to convince him to go to bed. To be fair…L didn’t know exactly how bad it was, either. He knew that normal people did have bad reactions to not sleeping enough, but he’d never needed to pay much attention to that before. His cases had never had much to do with sleep, and though he’d been awake for far longer than was medically advisable, he had always been okay. He was worried, but he wasn’t nearly as worried as he might have been. He dragged his gaze back to Orpheus, searching his eyes. He didn’t like it. He didn’t know how far Elpis would go, but he didn’t trust them in the slightest…they had every reason not to listen to Orpheus, and no real motivation L could see to stop the experiment before they were satisfied. “I don’t like this,” he said finally, leaning closer to Orpheus again. “If it gets too bad…promise you’ll tell them to stop. Please? You go through enough as it is, you shouldn’t have to go through any more.”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 16:23:30 GMT -5
Orpheus gave a quiet sigh, relaxing a little bit more now that L had accepted it. He knew that the situation wasn’t ideal. He wanted to help Elpis, but in truth, he didn’t want to be experimented on. He was willing to do almost anything if it meant going home, though, and that meant sitting through this. That meant doing what Elpis thought would make them the most prepared to take on the House. Orpheus had no idea if their ideas were going to be helpful, but if there was even the slightest chance that depriving him of sleep could help them beat the House, he was going to take it. What Orpheus wanted more than anything else was to go home. “I promise,” Orpheus replied, guilt burning in the back of his throat. He could promise that he would tell them to stop, but he couldn’t promise that they would listen. He had already told them they didn’t have to remove the block from his mind if he begged them to let him sleep. If L was right that this could go poorly, then there was nothing that Orpheus could do to get out of it. Hopefully, that wouldn’t happen. He trusted Elpis. He had no reason to distrust them. “I’ll go through a lot more to come home to you,” Orpheus whispered, lightly brushing some of L’s hair back from his face. “I don’t mind this. At least I get a say in what happens here.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 16:33:01 GMT -5
L knew it wasn’t his decision. He couldn’t protect Orpheus, no matter how deeply he wanted to. If their positions had been reversed…he’d have done the same, wouldn’t he? All this and more, if it meant he could stop Orpheus from feeling what L felt now. It didn’t make it any easier to watch Orpheus do something that could end up hurting them, badly. He wished he could trust Elpis as much as Orpheus seemed to, but that wasn’t easily done. They hadn’t proven themself trustworthy. They’d yet to do anything that didn’t also benefit them…anyone could see they wanted to do these experiments, and not only because it was helping Orpheus. It was also possible he resented them, however irrationally, for getting Orpheus into this in the first place. He didn’t think that was why he mistrusted them, but he knew he had to be careful of the feeling. Especially because they got to spend more time with the real Orpheus than he did, now. “I wish you didn’t have to go through anything to come home,” he murmured back, forcing himself to relax. The last thing Orpheus needed was someone to have to comfort, when they were the one who needed support. “I love you. Are you feeling alright, now?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 16:42:38 GMT -5
Orpheus had landed the two of them in this situation, and there was nothing he could do to make it better other than just… trusting that Elpis could help. Trusting that they wouldn’t lead both of them astray, because… well, they easily could. They could string Orpheus along just to get their answers, if they wanted. Orpheus likely wouldn’t realize it until it was too late, and all that would come from it would be another way of failing L. How many times would Orpheus have to fail the man he loved before he got to come home to him? Maybe Orpheus wasn’t a soul designed for peace. Maybe he wasn’t designed for love. He had scoffed at the idea of destinies, once. He had stated that he would forge his own path, that nobody would be able to stop him. He would love who he wanted to love, and he would make his own choices. Perhaps, he just wasn’t destined to have a romance that worked out. In L’s world, Orpheus knew he was seen as a tragic hero. He didn’t want to be a hero. He had lived his life the way he had because it was what was right, not because he wanted to be a hero. So why had he been cursed with all the tragedy that came along with that? “I love you too,” Orpheus breathed, stretching his neck out just a bit. “I’m alright for the moment. Are you?”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 16:50:08 GMT -5
L didn’t believe in destiny. He didn’t think it made sense that there was a path the were going to follow, and they couldn’t escape it. Fate was only real once it had happened. Until then, it didn’t exist. He wished he could make this easier. He knew Orpheus blamed himself for this, even if L didn’t. It had been Orpheus’ actions, perhaps, but he hadn’t had much of a choice, and it had never been his intention. There hadn’t been a right answer. If he hadn’t agreed, he could easily have sentenced Elpis to death. As much as L didn’t trust them…he wouldn’t have wanted that. He’d never have wanted Orpheus to choose his life over someone else’s. “I am,” he replied, giving a small nod. It wasn’t entirely true, but it wasn’t a lie. Under the circumstances…he was as well as he could be expected to be. “At least, if the experiment is very long, there’s time to do other things,” he added. “Maybe it can be a break. For a little while, anyway.”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 17:02:19 GMT -5
Orpheus didn’t know when L was lying all of the time, but he had learned to tell more or less when L was hiding something. It wasn’t difficult to believe he was hiding something now – L knew that Orpheus was going through a lot. Orpheus knew L didn’t want him to worry about L’s feelings, but he couldn’t help that. The two of them were in love. In a perfect world, they both would have been married a long time ago. They were going to worry about each other. That’s what love was, wasn’t it? Right now, though, Orpheus wanted to set aside their worries and do something else. It would have been easy to protest and tell L that he knew he was lying. That he knew he wasn’t fine, because there was no way for either of them to be fine right now. That wasn’t what was important, though. What was important was that they had some time together now. More time than they had been given in a very long time. Possibly ever, depending on how long Elpis let L stay. “I bet we could do anything we wanted,” Orpheus whispered, as though it was a secret. “I bet Elpis can create a room with anything we want to see. We could choose how to spend an afternoon together for the first time ever.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 17:12:34 GMT -5
Maybe, L considered, it wasn’t lying if you knew the other person wouldn’t believe you. It wasn’t true, but people said things that weren’t technically true all the time without lying. Sarcasm, for instance, only existed because someone said somerhing that was false, while really communicating something entirely different. When Orpheus said he was fine, what L heard was that he was hurting, badly, but he would prefer to talk about something else, because it wasn’t something that could be fixed with words, and though ignoring a problem rarely made it go away, it did sometimes distract from the pain of it, even if it was only temporarily. That was probably why Orpheus didn’t sound like he was lying. He couldn’t possibly really believe L would think he was actually fine. He blinked, eyes widening at the words. He hadn’t even considered that…he had been so distracted by all the things Elpis could do to hurt Orpheus, he hadn’t considered the rest of their abilities. “I would like that a lot,” he whispered back, searching Orpheus’ eyes. “What would you like to do?”
|
|
Transgender
strider
No mourners, no funerals
|
Post by strider on Sept 2, 2021 17:17:51 GMT -5
Orpheus had been separated from choice and free will for longer than he cared to admit. He hadn’t been able to do what he wanted, he hadn’t been able to choose when or what to eat, or even if he got to eat. He was kept in a sort of stasis, only pulled out when he needed to be used. He didn’t have the joy of creating things for himself or the accomplishment of keeping himself alive for another day. All he had was a series of situations where he wasn’t himself, and the fire that seemed to build inside of him any time the House used him. Any time the House tried to take his memories from him or made him into someone else. The only choice he’d been given for the past however long was this: fight or give up. Having the option to choose something more pleasant… it was as overwhelming as it was exhilarating. “I’d like to see… I’d like to see Japan,” Orpheus murmured, leaning against L. “I’d like you to show me all of your favorite places. Or… if we don’t have that much time, at least one of them. I want to know where you go when you need a break from working. But… I don’t want to see where you live, yet. I don’t want to see that until I’m allowed to stay.”
|
|
|
Post by ®Hawkpath® on Sept 2, 2021 17:35:23 GMT -5
L couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have so little autonomy left. He knew Orpheus couldn’t choose anything for himself, anymore. He had to do what the House made him do, and then he had to endure whatever Elpis thought of. It was rare that he actually got to make any choices for himself. But he could this time. He could do whatever he wanted here, and as long as the House didn’t interrupt…it would be alright. “I don’t leave all that often,” he admitted. “Or take that many breaks, really. But Japan is nice. There are a lot of things there that could be interesting to show you.” He breathed out. “You’ll see it,” he added quietly. “And it’ll be real. And you’ll only have to leave when you want to. Unless something bad happens, of course, but…you’ll be able to choose what you do with your time.” He glanced at Elpis, about to tell them where to go, then broke off as they arrived in the small library. It was dimly lit and barely populated, with far more books than people, and it was very, very quiet. There were chairs nearby, but more of them were tucked into corners, out of the way of the bookshelves.
|
|