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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jun 29, 2022 20:10:55 GMT -5
i meant it as a half-joke but i do love the idea
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Post by ✲ριкαƒυєу✲ on Jun 29, 2022 21:13:25 GMT -5
I hate myself a lot. I really don't want to be here
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Genderfluid
#9f9ab7
Name Colour
smallfly
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Post by smallfly on Jun 29, 2022 22:18:14 GMT -5
I hate myself a lot. I really don't want to be here you matter in this world. would you like to talk about it? i know i'm not someone you know but maybe talking to someone you don't know well can make things easier, i know it does for me in some aspects. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jun 29, 2022 22:19:42 GMT -5
I hate myself a lot. I really don't want to be here Like smallfly said, you absolutely matter in this world. If you need to talk to someone, even if it's just to vent, my DM's are always open |
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#FFA887
star_green.png
Name Colour, Custom Stars
Papillon
Forum Pest
how lucky you are to have yourself
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Post by Papillon on Jun 29, 2022 22:22:55 GMT -5
a guy I'd been hanging out with for 6 months now thinking we were building a relationship because he said so himself too told me last night he'd been talking to another woman and whatever if we weren't "technically" together
but it's the way he talked about her and lied about how long they'd been talking. like she was better than me, and I don't think I'm better than her, but I mean like he spoke about me as if I'm inadequate and incapable of several things. flat out made up and lied about another thing about me which made it hurt even more. i even thought we had been getting more serious lately and it hurts feeling like all this time I'd just been a placement or a toy or a prop until "something better" comes along. i hate that I let myself be used like that. just hurts and I'm tired of it. ill get over it so whatever but yeah. wish anyone was genuine anymore. especially claiming we're best friends or whatever but now barely talking to me. oh well i guess.
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Post by ✲ριкαƒυєу✲ on Jun 30, 2022 2:53:28 GMT -5
Dark Sun smallflyThanks <3 it's just been rough. I've been struggling with trauma, and illness for so long. I just want it to stop honestly
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Post by Tealraven on Jun 30, 2022 20:20:57 GMT -5
I wish I didn’t have to live in fear of making my father angry
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Genderfluid
#9f9ab7
Name Colour
smallfly
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Post by smallfly on Jul 1, 2022 2:36:46 GMT -5
✲ριкαƒυєу✲<3 i'm really sorry you're going through all of that, and i want to say things will get better, but i don't know your situation or anything, but i'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Tealravenyou don't deserve that at all, is there anyone you can talk to? because that doesn't sound good at all.
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Lesbian
octojack
catching up on broken code IVE MISSED SO MANY BOOKS OTL
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Post by octojack on Jul 1, 2022 22:15:04 GMT -5
i'm having a hard time enjoying visiting with my partner irl and i'm so frustrated with myself, he's been great but i've been having really weird strong anxiety that something bad is going to happen to me and anxiety that i'm going to get bad health issues and my anxiety just spirals into extreme worst case, that and i keep thinking about an abusive friend from my past but it's been years, i dont know why im still hurting and i feel weak and i'm having a hard time making friends bc im scared ill get hurt or that im not good. i'm hoping new meds i'm on will help... thank you for giving me a free space to vent sorry that this is so rambly ach T_T
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Genderfluid
#9f9ab7
Name Colour
smallfly
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Post by smallfly on Jul 2, 2022 8:38:17 GMT -5
i'm having a hard time enjoying visiting with my partner irl and i'm so frustrated with myself, he's been great but i've been having really weird strong anxiety that something bad is going to happen to me and anxiety that i'm going to get bad health issues and my anxiety just spirals into extreme worst case, that and i keep thinking about an abusive friend from my past but it's been years, i dont know why im still hurting and i feel weak and i'm having a hard time making friends bc im scared ill get hurt or that im not good. i'm hoping new meds i'm on will help... thank you for giving me a free space to vent sorry that this is so rambly ach T_T i'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through, and everything you have been through. bad friends suck, and i have trouble with this myself, but we just have to remember that not everyone is like the people who made us feel like this. take yourself for example, i don't know you, but i imagine you're not like your ex-friend, and there are a lot of other people who aren't either, but i know it's not always easy to shut off your fears and insecurities. i hope your new meds helps you, but do you know what your anxiety is stemming from? for me, it can happen for no reason at all, but a lot of times, there's a core reason. also, what makes you think you'll get bad health issues? i apologise if any of these questions are too invasive, and I totally respect your choice not to answer, but if you want to talk about anything i'm sorry who can relate to some of what you're going through, and everyone deserves to have someone to talk to. also, don't worry about being rambly or anything at all, i assume not many people think that clearly when they're upset, and you didn't seem rambly to me. |
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 3, 2022 20:10:36 GMT -5
tw: mentions depiction of SA in media it’s 2022 why is “dark fantasy” still using sexual assault towards women only for the sole purpose of being grim and edgy. There are so many other ways to illustrate a crapsack world. (Looking at you, DAO diehards. “Dragon Age needs to go back to its dark roots =/= the series should bring r*pe back” FFS) |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 3, 2022 20:13:42 GMT -5
tw: mentions depiction of SA in media <snipped in case spoiler tag doesn't work when quoting reply; check original message. TW though> Sigh. Just... sigh. Why can't these people just... disappear? Forever? |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2022 10:45:01 GMT -5
tw: mentions depiction of SA in media it’s 2022 why is “dark fantasy” still using sexual assault towards women only for the sole purpose of being grim and edgy. There are so many other ways to illustrate a crapsack world. (Looking at you, DAO diehards. “Dragon Age needs to go back to its dark roots =/= the series should bring r*pe back” FFS) I don't get the appeal of dark fantasy. I understand why people want their fantasy world to be realistic (not all rainbows and butterflies), but I don't understand why it has to be filled with violence, hate, and abuse. I tried to get into Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archives, which is not a dark fantasy, but even that was too dark for me  |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 11:12:48 GMT -5
tw: mentions depiction of SA in media
Honestly when people seem to enjoy that kind of thing it gives me a big red flag that they're probably not good people irl if they wanna indulge in that |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 13:09:45 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder if losing interest and every spark of joy in virtually everything is just a normal part of being an adult.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 4, 2022 13:15:48 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder if losing interest and every spark of joy in virtually everything is just a normal part of being an adult. honestly? to some extent....yes. there's an awkward period of transition between teenage and adulthood that few people talk about, which is when you rather suddenly "grow out of" everything you previously really like (even non-kid things) as your interests and tastes rapidly change almost overnight. then there's a weird period when you dont have a hobby or passion because your adult brain hasn't yet found something new to fill that void. you will, though. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 13:30:48 GMT -5
Sometimes I wonder if losing interest and every spark of joy in virtually everything is just a normal part of being an adult. honestly? to some extent....yes. there's an awkward period of transition between teenage and adulthood that few people talk about, which is when you rather suddenly "grow out of" everything you previously really like (even non-kid things) as your interests and tastes rapidly change almost overnight. then there's a weird period when you dont have a hobby or passion because your adult brain hasn't yet found something new to fill that void. you will, though. Well, I just went from this path of thought to once again being concerned about everyone's perceptions of me. So yaaaay, distractions.  |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 13:45:21 GMT -5
Dark Sun Sometimes but it can also be a symptom of depression when even the things you do enjoy lose any sense of meaning. There are difinitely things you grow out of that aren't actually fun but have a nostalgia factor but if you're constantly doing something or even trying new things that you would normally like and still going "im bored, why isn't this fun?" it might be time to reach out to someone.
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 13:49:58 GMT -5
Dark Sun Sometimes but it can also be a symptom of depression when even the things you do enjoy lose any sense of meaning. There are difinitely things you grow out of that aren't actually fun but have a nostalgia factor but if you're constantly doing something or even trying new things that you would normally like and still going "im bored, why isn't this fun?" it might be time to reach out to someone. I'll properly see someone about it eventually.  Until then, I'm hanging on, I'll be just alright. Thank you for your concern though. After listening to some music I'm in a slightly better headspace than I was half an hour ago. |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 15:09:52 GMT -5
Dark Sun Sometimes but it can also be a symptom of depression when even the things you do enjoy lose any sense of meaning. There are difinitely things you grow out of that aren't actually fun but have a nostalgia factor but if you're constantly doing something or even trying new things that you would normally like and still going "im bored, why isn't this fun?" it might be time to reach out to someone. I'll properly see someone about it eventually. :) Until then, I'm hanging on, I'll be just alright. Thank you for your concern though. :) After listening to some music I'm in a slightly better headspace than I was half an hour ago. Well we may not be able to professionally help but we are here for you! |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 15:13:08 GMT -5
I'll properly see someone about it eventually.  Until then, I'm hanging on, I'll be just alright. Thank you for your concern though. After listening to some music I'm in a slightly better headspace than I was half an hour ago. Well we may not be able to professionally help but we are here for you! Thank you, that means an absolute ton to me. <3 Like seriously, you just put a big grin on my face. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 15:17:06 GMT -5
My current main email uses my deadname so I die a little inside each time I boot it up. Problem is, I am too lazy to reassign absolutely everything to a hypothetical new email.  Having a deadname sucks. I heard it being said 5-6 times yesterday and each time it was uttered, some part of myself was punched in the gut. |
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Post by Tealraven on Jul 4, 2022 16:28:30 GMT -5
Got up early
Drove 30 min to see a parade
Missed most of it because I was sick in a public restroom almost the whole time
//sad american noises
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 16:32:22 GMT -5
Got up early Drove 30 min to see a parade Missed most of it because I was sick in a public restroom almost the whole time //sad american noises Oh no! I hope you've recovered / are recovering well! |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 18:48:31 GMT -5
My current main email uses my deadname so I die a little inside each time I boot it up. Problem is, I am too lazy to reassign absolutely everything to a hypothetical new email. :P Having a deadname sucks. I heard it being said 5-6 times yesterday and each time it was uttered, some part of myself was punched in the gut. :P If you use a Gmail, you can change it. Or if you have it linked to like important stuff like school/work/legal stuff or whatever where you still have to use your legal name, you can do what I do and just use initials. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 18:50:57 GMT -5
My current main email uses my deadname so I die a little inside each time I boot it up. Problem is, I am too lazy to reassign absolutely everything to a hypothetical new email.  Having a deadname sucks. I heard it being said 5-6 times yesterday and each time it was uttered, some part of myself was punched in the gut. If you use a Gmail, you can change it. Or if you have it linked to like important stuff like school/work/legal stuff or whatever where you still have to use your legal name, you can do what I do and just use initials. I had no idea you could change your Gmail address name. I'll have to look into that, thank you! The initials idea works as well. Honestly I just use my email for connections to various sites (Walmart, Amazon, etc.) and, well, recently I deleted over 20 or 30k junk mail (forgot the exact amount), so that was impressive! |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 18:57:27 GMT -5
If you use a Gmail, you can change it. Or if you have it linked to like important stuff like school/work/legal stuff or whatever where you still have to use your legal name, you can do what I do and just use initials. I had no idea you could change your Gmail address name. I'll have to look into that, thank you! The initials idea works as well. Honestly I just use my email for connections to various sites (Walmart, Amazon, etc.) and, well, recently I deleted over 20 or 30k junk mail (forgot the exact amount), so that was impressive! :P When you're in your email, click your avatar in the top right corner, click manage google account, go to the left side bar that says personal info and it should bring up a profile that has name/gender/birthday that you can edit. |
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Non-binary
#F4B548
Name Colour
Dark Sun
Sage of the Stars
I'm devious, I'm devilish, I'm ever so deliciously evil
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Post by Dark Sun on Jul 4, 2022 19:02:47 GMT -5
I had no idea you could change your Gmail address name. I'll have to look into that, thank you! The initials idea works as well. Honestly I just use my email for connections to various sites (Walmart, Amazon, etc.) and, well, recently I deleted over 20 or 30k junk mail (forgot the exact amount), so that was impressive! When you're in your email, click your avatar in the top right corner, click manage google account, go to the left side bar that says personal info and it should bring up a profile that has name/gender/birthday that you can edit. Oh. I see. You see, I put my first name in the actual email name itself. (Ex. Bobruleztheworld@gmail.com. That one is fake and my real name isn't Bob lol, just giving an example.) I suppose that's permanent. (Gosh, I feel like a Boomer.) |
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Agender
#000000
Name Colour
Leapkit
Finder of Rare Friend Error
Derealizing for the forseeable future
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Post by Leapkit on Jul 4, 2022 19:06:06 GMT -5
When you're in your email, click your avatar in the top right corner, click manage google account, go to the left side bar that says personal info and it should bring up a profile that has name/gender/birthday that you can edit. Oh. I see. You see, I put my first name in the actual email name itself. (Ex. Bobruleztheworld@gmail.com. That one is fake and my real name isn't Bob lol, just giving an example.) I suppose that's permanent. (Gosh, I feel like a Boomer.) Aw, beans.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Jul 4, 2022 20:31:09 GMT -5
You can set up a new email address and have everything automatically forwarded from your old inbox to your new one
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Until then, I'm hanging on, I'll be just alright. Thank you for your concern though. 
Until then, I'm hanging on, I'll be just alright. Thank you for your concern though. 
