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Post by colakit on Apr 7, 2020 3:27:37 GMT -5
I once went to a restaurant with my family that was known to be a seafood place. I'm not a fan of sea food, so I scanned the menu for a "safe meal" and came up with two meals: hot turkey sandwich and fries, and a cheeseburger.
Now, there's another restaurant we go to every fall, and the turkey sandwiches there are REALLY good. One of my favorite meals. I've never had a bad hot turkey sandwich, so I ordered it.
What I got was a plate of bright yellow goop. My family described its appearance as resembling banana pudding, and the consistency was just about the same. I had to DIG through the gunk to find the sandwich, which my father insisted I take a bite of before sending it back. It was foul. When questioned, the waiter told us it was "poultry gravy", which is vague and does not meet the criteria of any "poultry" gravy I've had in my life. Bright yellow? Ended up sending it back and getting the cheeseburger, which was good.
What's the most bizarre/worst meal you've had at a restaurant?
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Apr 7, 2020 15:27:55 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 7, 2020 16:50:02 GMT -5
I went to a bbq place that my roommate's whole family was raving about because it was featured on an episode of diners drive ins and dives. I figured Hey if it was on a tv show the food is probably good even though that's not what I normally prefer to eat. I got a pulled pork sandwich.
The meat was dry, the bbq sauce was literally just sweet baby rays you can buy at the store, the bread was dry, and there was hair in my food. And not a little bit of hair either. Like 3 or 4 strands of really long blonde hair. Maybe more. I pulled several of them out of the sandwich and out of my mouth after taking a couple bites and after that I decided I was done. I didn't even want to ask for something else because clearly whoever was cooking wasn't wearing a hair net and probably wasn't following other health instructions either.
Needless to say we never went back.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Apr 7, 2020 17:37:51 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it that literally sounds like the beginning of a Kitchen Nightmares episode everything microwaves. long wait. weird menu items. still labeling themselves a top cultural dining experience based on their 1987 Best Restaurant article in the since discontinued local newspaper.
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Post by colakit on Apr 7, 2020 23:04:55 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it Oh my God, that was a trip to read. That's....both horrifying and hilarious. You are far braver than I would be in that situation, i don't think I could've made it through a single bite. All in all, beautiful storytelling. Thanks for sharing the experience
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Post by colakit on Apr 7, 2020 23:06:05 GMT -5
I went to a bbq place that my roommate's whole family was raving about because it was featured on an episode of diners drive ins and dives. I figured Hey if it was on a tv show the food is probably good even though that's not what I normally prefer to eat. I got a pulled pork sandwich. The meat was dry, the bbq sauce was literally just sweet baby rays you can buy at the store, the bread was dry, and there was hair in my food. And not a little bit of hair either. Like 3 or 4 strands of really long blonde hair. Maybe more. I pulled several of them out of the sandwich and out of my mouth after taking a couple bites and after that I decided I was done. I didn't even want to ask for something else because clearly whoever was cooking wasn't wearing a hair net and probably wasn't following other health instructions either. Needless to say we never went back. Is there anything more disappointing than a bad pulled pork sandwich...praying for your speedy recovery
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Apr 8, 2020 12:03:19 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it that literally sounds like the beginning of a Kitchen Nightmares episode everything microwaves. long wait. weird menu items. still labeling themselves a top cultural dining experience based on their 1987 Best Restaurant article in the since discontinued local newspaper. that was basically the vibe yeah it was wild
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Lesbian
falconfire
currently watching/reading/playing: haikyuu, avatar: the last airbender, animal crossing new horizon
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Post by falconfire on Apr 8, 2020 12:04:29 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it Oh my God, that was a trip to read. That's....both horrifying and hilarious. You are far braver than I would be in that situation, i don't think I could've made it through a single bite. All in all, beautiful storytelling. Thanks for sharing the experience i'm glad lmfao we could all use some levity in these times. i don't come on this site all that often anymore but i lurk sometimes and i saw the title and thought okay okay this is worth sharing
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Lesbian
skree
yeehaw is my main philosophy
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Post by skree on Apr 8, 2020 12:13:56 GMT -5
i was in st louis for a weekend with some friends and there's a neighborhood with a lot of italian heritage there so we wanted to try some italian food in that area. we looked through google maps and everything and the closest one to where we were driving was a place called rigazzi's (and yeah i'm gonna put them on blast rn). long story so spoilered: it seemed pretty busy, it wasn't the fanciest place at all but since they were doing a good business + it seemed welcoming we were mostly ok with it. one of my friends was looking at yelp reviews and she wasn't so sure, but me and another friend were insistent. it was right there! we'd already found one restaurant that had like an hour wait, and it had been a long day.
so, typical in (at least american) italian restaurants, they brought us some bread and butter to start off. i should say that i, and my three friends, had gone a long time without food and had done a lot that day; we saw some botanical gardens, explored a park, went to the zoo and walked around a bunch. so, i personally was so hangry at this point because of my hunger and the low blood sugar that it honestly didn't even matter to me that the bread was, well, cold. not room temperature, but like... cold. the taste was fine.
we figure we should splurge, ok, the menu talks about this place being a cultural icon in this neighborhood, you know. so we get some appetizers. "world-famous fried ravioli", said the menu. so we got that, it tasted, uh. fine. it was pretty lukewarm and the sauce that came with it was pretty runny.
we fought awkward laughs every time the waiter would come by and ask us how the food was.
but, ok, we've got this far, right? maybe they're saving the best for last and the meal will be better. we're all still pretty hungry so we stick around. after...like...Forever, the waiter comes back around and takes our order. i don't remember much what my friends got, but i got a cheeseburger pizza. it's pizza, and cheeseburger stuff. two things i love. it's gotta be good, right?
wrong. it takes ages for the food to come out. when i get my pizza.... i'm still mad at myself for not having taken a picture back then because jesus. like, a flat pale circle of dough with the same runny red sauce peeking through. pale brown chunks of ground beef. but the cheese was what took the cake: nearly perfect squares of bright yellow melted american cheese slapped haphazardly along the pizza's surface. you know when you melt american cheese and it looks like plastic? it looked like that.
but, ok, looks can be deceiving, yeah? and i was still hungry. so i eat. we had all laughed about how the pizza looked, and a couple of my friends decided after a bite or two that they wouldnt finish theirs, so the eyes were all on me. i take a bite and, like the rest of our food, the damn thing is Not hot at all. the closer to the middle, the cooler the pizza is. but hey, i paid for it and my stomach had plenty of room. you know what? i had thought. this isn't that bad.
slowly, as the meal went on, my animal state brought on by ravenous hunger started to subside. i was not full in any sense, but my body was no longer in crisis mode. the amount of the pizza i ate was inversely correlated with how much more of the pizza i was willing to eat. i think i got through about a third of it before i realized this depressing microwaved meal did Not deserve my attention any more.
things got a little weirder. we all agreed the food sucked, a lot. and i swear we were waiting for thirty minutes after finishing what we could of our food before the waiter came around to take the plates and give us our checks. when asking if we liked the meal, he averted his eyes, like he himself was trying to avoid laughing. as we waited for him to bring the checks - another impossibly long wait - things felt more and more surreal for some reason. we tried to estimate how much our meal cost so we could just leave a bunch of cash and get the hell out of there.... eventually he came around though. i want to say we saw him walk by with another waiter at least once, both sort of snorting/snickering as they passed, and definitely not acknowledging us at all.
basically, when all was said and done, we paid and indeed hightailed it out of the place. i think once we got outside we were literally running to the car because it was just, a completely bizarre and surreal experience that is very hard to convey anymore bc i had no idea what was going on at the time. but thanks for the excuse to tell the story again bc it makes me laugh at the very least tldr - friends and i go to what is supposedly the best italian restaurant in st louis, the service was really damn weird, the food was cold, and my pizza looked like it had yellow plastic on it I'm so sorry you had this experience but this is genuinely one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I can't even imagine having this surreal of a time just trying to eat food, especially the staff seemingly laughing at yall??? That's downright bonkers. Next time I head up to St. Louis I have to find this place to make sure I avoid it lmao
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