Post by Holly Snow on Dec 17, 2019 13:00:01 GMT -5
In an alternate universe where cats stare at the sky and jayfeather isn't terribly written.
Lionblaze: hey kids we are all gonna go do a family activity! we are gonna stargaze
kids: ughhhhhhh.
Sorrelstripe: But dad I'm pregnant!
Fernsong: Yeah I got kids too you know
Cinderheart: Come on listen to your father lets star gaze!
Some time later
Flywhisker: Wow watching the stars come out is actually pretty cool
Spotfur: Yeah we should do this again!
and so the lion family watches the stars come out every night experiencing a new found love of astronomy
Hollytuft: How come no one noticed that big red star?
Spotfur: Yeah its like we never bothered to look at the stars before.
Snaptooth: They all seem to come out in the same order!
Sorrelstripe: Remember that nursery tale that each starclan warrior is a star? and when we die we become a star in silverpelt? I wonder if we will see a new star the next time someone dies!
somebody dies dunno who or how
Flywhisker: I don't see a new star...
Hollytuft: what the fox Starclan! Everything we've been told is a lie.
Cinderheart: no lets wait and see if it doesn't happen again. maybe we messed up.
another warrior dies
Spotfur: Theres still no star.
Lionblaze: I need to tell Jayfeather about this.
Lionblaze: blah blah blah and there is no new stars in the sky.
Jayfeather: I knew starclan was full of ****ing liars! rage quits
a super nova occurs
Cinderheart: What the fox was that? It looked cool but what?
Snaptooth: A star just.... burst....
Sorrelstripe: Maybe a starclan warrior died?
Jayfeather: thats stupid (but if yellowfang died I would be happy) I'll go consult starclan about this.
at the moonpool
Yellowfang: Hello young warrior.
Jayfeather: oh fox dung its you.
Yellowfang: Don't disrespect your elders punk.
Jayfeather: Yeah yeah whatever. Do you guys know what the star explosion was?
Yellowfang: the what?- I mean yes! Star explosion. It was a sign from us!
Jayfeather: yeah? So? What does it mean?
Yellowfang: Don't be so demanding! you young folk need to learn how to respect your elders and figure things out for yourself!
Jayfeather: Yeah well, I don't care.
Yellowfang: You should respect us you insolent shrew! We know everything! You mortals know nothing! we are special.
Jayfeather: I can count how many times that's not been true.
Yellowfang: Hey sometimes we don't know everything! We are cats just like you!
Jayfeather: but that is strictly contradictory... and I remember the last time you said that to me, you did know what I wanted to know!
Yellowfang: I don't remember that. And I don't know anything about this bursting star. come back when you learn some respect!
Jayfeather: you know what? i don't need you! you've been useless to me since I was a kid. You are liars you are manipulative! I hate you I hate all of you!
Jayfeather goes home
Lionblaze: yo bro did you find out what that starburst was.
Jayfeather: LEAVE ME THE FOX ALONE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AND NEITHER DOES STARCLAN!
Lionblaze: well clearly that didn't go well. Starclan pissed him off again.
Cinderheart: can you blame him? look what they did to us. they put two souls in my body.
Hollytuft: So..... Starclan is full of fox dung?
Lionblaze: yes honey. I'm sorry.
Snaptooth: Thats ok they seem pretty full of fox dung not gonna lie.
Cinderheart: Since when were you all borderline atheist's?
Sorrelstripe: Since Tigerheart became Tigerstar.
Spotfur: Isn't that proof of their glory?
Sorrelstripe: Tigerstar is a foxheart he should have just stayed dead. Who cares if Starclan is real they don't deserve our worship! They did this!
Flywhisker: This is revolutionary. Lets continue to study the stars and find out what they really are like. What is really out there!?
Fernsong: We can map them with the rocks! and everyone will come to see our star map!
Lionblaze: I guess we have a new family tradition.
and thus that's how astronomy started in the clans. Jayfeather joined in to once he calmed down.
Lionblaze: hey kids we are all gonna go do a family activity! we are gonna stargaze
kids: ughhhhhhh.
Sorrelstripe: But dad I'm pregnant!
Fernsong: Yeah I got kids too you know
Cinderheart: Come on listen to your father lets star gaze!
Some time later
Flywhisker: Wow watching the stars come out is actually pretty cool
Spotfur: Yeah we should do this again!
and so the lion family watches the stars come out every night experiencing a new found love of astronomy
Hollytuft: How come no one noticed that big red star?
Spotfur: Yeah its like we never bothered to look at the stars before.
Snaptooth: They all seem to come out in the same order!
Sorrelstripe: Remember that nursery tale that each starclan warrior is a star? and when we die we become a star in silverpelt? I wonder if we will see a new star the next time someone dies!
somebody dies dunno who or how
Flywhisker: I don't see a new star...
Hollytuft: what the fox Starclan! Everything we've been told is a lie.
Cinderheart: no lets wait and see if it doesn't happen again. maybe we messed up.
another warrior dies
Spotfur: Theres still no star.
Lionblaze: I need to tell Jayfeather about this.
Lionblaze: blah blah blah and there is no new stars in the sky.
Jayfeather: I knew starclan was full of ****ing liars! rage quits
a super nova occurs
Cinderheart: What the fox was that? It looked cool but what?
Snaptooth: A star just.... burst....
Sorrelstripe: Maybe a starclan warrior died?
Jayfeather: thats stupid (but if yellowfang died I would be happy) I'll go consult starclan about this.
at the moonpool
Yellowfang: Hello young warrior.
Jayfeather: oh fox dung its you.
Yellowfang: Don't disrespect your elders punk.
Jayfeather: Yeah yeah whatever. Do you guys know what the star explosion was?
Yellowfang: the what?- I mean yes! Star explosion. It was a sign from us!
Jayfeather: yeah? So? What does it mean?
Yellowfang: Don't be so demanding! you young folk need to learn how to respect your elders and figure things out for yourself!
Jayfeather: Yeah well, I don't care.
Yellowfang: You should respect us you insolent shrew! We know everything! You mortals know nothing! we are special.
Jayfeather: I can count how many times that's not been true.
Yellowfang: Hey sometimes we don't know everything! We are cats just like you!
Jayfeather: but that is strictly contradictory... and I remember the last time you said that to me, you did know what I wanted to know!
Yellowfang: I don't remember that. And I don't know anything about this bursting star. come back when you learn some respect!
Jayfeather: you know what? i don't need you! you've been useless to me since I was a kid. You are liars you are manipulative! I hate you I hate all of you!
Jayfeather goes home
Lionblaze: yo bro did you find out what that starburst was.
Jayfeather: LEAVE ME THE FOX ALONE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AND NEITHER DOES STARCLAN!
Lionblaze: well clearly that didn't go well. Starclan pissed him off again.
Cinderheart: can you blame him? look what they did to us. they put two souls in my body.
Hollytuft: So..... Starclan is full of fox dung?
Lionblaze: yes honey. I'm sorry.
Snaptooth: Thats ok they seem pretty full of fox dung not gonna lie.
Cinderheart: Since when were you all borderline atheist's?
Sorrelstripe: Since Tigerheart became Tigerstar.
Spotfur: Isn't that proof of their glory?
Sorrelstripe: Tigerstar is a foxheart he should have just stayed dead. Who cares if Starclan is real they don't deserve our worship! They did this!
Flywhisker: This is revolutionary. Lets continue to study the stars and find out what they really are like. What is really out there!?
Fernsong: We can map them with the rocks! and everyone will come to see our star map!
Lionblaze: I guess we have a new family tradition.
and thus that's how astronomy started in the clans. Jayfeather joined in to once he calmed down.
