Post by 🍁Searipple101🍁 on Dec 30, 2018 13:20:11 GMT -5
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Quick warning: this made me cry writing it, so beware and enjoy.
Quick warning: this made me cry writing it, so beware and enjoy.
For as long as I could remember, I lived alone in a world full of beauty. Trees grew tall and strong, breezes rustled the undergrowth, and countless cats roamed the lands. Even the prey I watched was filled with life and wonder. Yet, I could never be part of this world, not truly.
As I wandered the forest floor, weaving in and out of gnarled tree roots and patches of bramble, no one ever saw me. I would walk the clan camps, phasing through their den walls or running on the wind. I saw so much happen every time the sun rose and every time it fell, and all the time in between.
The wonders I witnessed can never truly be expressed by words, not rightfully. But, with my gift of sight came a terrible burden, one far beyond simply not being seen or heard by me fellow cats. With me came sorrow.
I remember every time it happened, every countless time. I would be frolicking in the breeze, following wherever my heart took me. But, where I tended to go I would find someone old or injured or in grave danger. Every instinct I had told me to help them, and so I would try my best. Yet, the heartbeat my nose or paw touched them, their heart would stop. Sorrow would soon follow, the sorrow of the dead’s loved ones and my own.
Briefly, a faint figure of the newly departed would materialize before my gray eyes. Sometimes they, too, were sorrowful. Sometimes they were filled with rage or even rare, fleeting heartbeats of joy. And, even those with vacant numbness appeared. Seeing me for the first and only time, I usually got questions but could retrieve no answers, for I had none to offer. Then, after a moment, they were simply gone.
My own heart always wretched whenever this happened. I tried my best to help but only caused grief. I was doomed to only cause pain, it seemed. But the worst part was I was alone. I could watch kits play at any time, watch new ones be born and others become apprentices. I could watch them learn and grow into warriors or medicine cats or even leaders. This, I could do all I wanted, but never could I join them in rejoicing. Never could I share in their happiness and pride. Never could I have a friend of my own. Until one day.
It was a day like any other, the sun high over the forest and q warm breeze whisking me away. I ended up in a familiar clan camp, my heart pulling me to the nursery. And so, I followed. The bramble and stone walls made a perfect shelter against attacks and the cold of this leaf-bare. And, inside, the warmth flowed forth with the sound of mewling kits.
Curiously, I padded further in, to the side of a new mother, two tiny furballs already wriggling at her belly. The medicine cat set a third down by her belly, but I knew something wasn’t right with it. Its gray form was much smaller than his siblings. He was sick, I could sense it. Naturally, without thinking, I had to try and help, so I stepped closer and lowered my nose to its feebly squirming form. Soft, wet fur greeted my nostrils with a sweet scent, and the kit fell still and silent.
The medicine cat tried his best to revive the little kit, prodding its chest lightly with his paws and licking its smoky pelt, but I already knew it was too late. The mother wailed like they did every time, and the kit’s figure vaguely appeared from its lifeless body, although now a bit bigger and with it eyes open. Those green eyes stared at me for a moment, huge and curious but not hateful, and then he vanished.
I put my ears back, guilt wracking my body. Why did I keep doing this? Why did everyone and everything I touch die? I only wanted to help… Suddenly, one of the surviving kits mewled louder than before, snatching my attention.
Her fur was nothing like her mother and sister. Where they were dim and gray, hers was a bright, golden yellow. It was almost as if her pelt was like the sun itself, or if a drop of pure sunlight had fallen and infused itself with her coat. She was beautiful, more so than any cat I’d seen before, and only now did I notice as my heart settled. She was special, and I decided from then on to take care of her but to never touch her.
As she grew, I stayed close by her side. Still, I had to follow where my heart and the wind took me, their pulls irresistible. Yet, I always came back to my Brightkit. And, once her eyes opened up, revealing the same dazzling, haunting, emerald green of her late brother, it happened. She looked at me.
I watched as she blinked a couple times to get her vision to focus, and she looked straight at me. This, this had never happened before, not once. Never had any cat or creature looked directly at me before with their heart still beating. I figured she must be looking at something else behind me, so I moved. But her gaze followed wherever I went, no matter where in the nursery. She never lost sight of me. I didn’t know whether to feel joy or confusion, so I choose to go for the first. Finally, I was noticed without pain.
The more she grew, the more I stuck around camp. Brightkit did more than just see me; she also talked to me. We talked every sunrise after she woke up and every sunset before she fell asleep and many times in between. She was still the only one who could see me, but I was so much happier with her around. Finally, I had a friend.
I was there when she became Brightpaw and followed her all throughout her training. She never ceased to amaze me with how big her heart was and how determined she was to be a great warrior. Nothing ever stopped her or slowed her down. Even when her clanmates fell to my touch, she never blamed me, not even once her mother was fatally wounded in a battle. She grieved the loss heavily, but she still looked to me for solace. Even as others gave her odd looks for talking to something they couldn’t see, she never batted an eye about it. She was my best friend.
Brightpaw soon became Brightspirit with her unwavering determination and loyalty to the clan. Her heart never shrank in size, even when she had to fight in battles against rivaling clans. And when she became elderly, she never forgot about me.
Now old, she didn’t leave the den much. Her eyesight was failing, and those glittering green eyes began to fog. Yet, she never missed a day when it came to talking to me. We’d often reminisce about our times playing in the meadow and forest, or when I taught her how to hunt like I’d seen endless cats do before. We’d share laughs and secrets with one and other and tell wild tales of adventure.
And then the time came to when the wind blew the wrong way. It pulled me closer to her one night as she slept in her nest, the leaf-bare air snaking its way through the den entrance. No. This couldn’t be right. Not her.
Gusts grew stronger as I tried to resist them, pooling all of my strength to pull away from my best friend’s fragile form. It couldn’t end like this. She was the only one I had. She still had so much to give the clan, to give the world. I couldn’t do this to her!
But I must. My will was not strong enough to fight. The force, it was too overwhelming, and the wind tugged my heart closer until her silky fur brushed my nose and the sweetest scent wafted around me. I closed my eyes, the force now gone as the task was complete, and I collapsed into her golden coat to cry.
“It’s alright.” The familiar voice brought my head up, and I turned to see her transparent figure standing by me. Except, this form of her was much younger, glowing, in fact. It looked as if she was a young warrior again, full of life and promise and warmth. And her eyes…they sparkled like green lakes under the stars and held no ill feelings, only acceptance and understanding.
She stepped forward as I continued to cry, harder now. What had I done? But she nuzzled my cheek with hers, warmth radiating from the spirit she had become. For the first time, I could touch her without worry, and she whispered in my ear something I will never forget. “I don’t blame you, my friend, Death. Now, I will live forever among the stars.”
And then she was gone, and I was alone again. But every day I’d wait now for dark, for the chance to see her again. And, once the stars come out and sparkle in the sky, I look down and see her spirit there beside me, and we talk happily in the moonlight until sunrise. Then, I’d wait for it all over again. I’m never alone anymore.