part of a failed rp

{Hibbard Greggory III} {34} {Tom} {MadFaith}
Hibbard is an expensive cat with a palate for only the best, the epitome of a wealthy housecat. He is a purebred Persian tom, with the papers to match, thick black fur with a white mane, "mustache" and toes. He is a regal tomcat who sees his place above others, especially the street cats. He refuses to exit his house unless completely necessary, not wanting to leave its luxury and comfort, rather letting the other cats come to him. He has glowing amber eyes that seem to always be holding contempt for others. He sees himself as the leader of the cats of the "Heights," often holding "council" meetings from his window, or allowing the other cats to enter his house if they so choose. These councils often talk about the problems the street cats are creating and the drama of the town. He is a very snobby tom, who is not afraid to say what he thinks, regardless of who it hurts or offends. He is blunt are cares little of what others think of him, but on the off chance he receives a compliment he deems it as something he deserves, rather than something he has erned. 

{"Heights"}

{Charlemagne} {22} {Tom} {MadFaith}
Charlemagne has quite the startling appearance and he has made quite a name for himself throughout the city. He has stunning blue eyes, the first thing most people notice followed with his odd colouration, the result of him being a mix of breeds and colour markings. He has some dark brown tabby markings on his face and ears, a mottled pelt of white, light brown and a cream, white chest, chin and legs. He is quite the dock cat, spending time with each ship that comes in, inspecting it from mast to hull, learning the ins and outs and hunting down rats, food isn't scarce, but ship rats are always the best fed. He has some scars scattered across his pelt from battles of the past, not that he is really one to get into too many fights, mostly from the rats. He always has a tall tale to tell, some true, but almost completely made up adventures to make him sound more worldly, most of them picked up from conversations of sailors as he kinda belongs to the most frequented pub in the area, sailors favourite resting area. He earns his keep through ensuring the cellars are rodent free, leaving him with a warm place to sleep. He is quite the flirt by nature and loves talking to she-cats, but he is loyal to one at a time, not being one to have many on the go at once. 

{"Waterside"}

{Presila} {24} {She-cat} {MadFaith}
Presila was at one point a regal looking she-cat, but her beauty is only a shadow of its formal self, the wear of living in the worst part of town taking a hard toll on the small she-cat. She is quite a petite she-cat, covered in a once luxuriously thick white coat, the tips of her tail and paws a light orange hue. Her pelt is now ragged and filthy, her self-esteem gone taking with it her need to keep up her personal hygiene. She has dark green eyes, but they are hollow, broken and empty, and she can often be seen aimlessly wandering around the South Corner District. She grew up in the Heights, her humans raising her as a perfect breeding cat due to her desired small size, but every kitten from her two litters was stillborn so they kicked her to the street. With no hunting knowledge and no ability to defend herself, she very quickly found herself starving on the streets of the Corner. She is now terrified of her own shadow, only furthered by a run-in with an angry cat who left her with a shredded right ear, it is her only method of survival. Presila blames herself for the death of her kits and is ladden with guilt, very rarely speaking, most cats believing her to be mute, a ghost that wanders the streets. 

{"Corner"}

{Ada} {27} {She-cat} {MadFaith}
Ada is a smaller she-cat with a thin build. She has a deep brown pelt that darkens around her face and at the base of her tail. Her paws are white, the dividing line a bit farther up the for her hind legs, as well as her chest and chin. Her eyes are a pale green with some golden tints near the pupal, a stark contrast to her dark face. Ada has been a street cat for her entire life, born in an ally of the Corner with a drive to survive. She worked her way up the ranks, gaining the respect of others with her sharp mind and ability to out-think many others. She is a quick thinker, being able to quickly think on her paws and react with a level mind, never really letting her emotions get the better, having hidden them beneath many barriers, shutting them away was her only way of survival, she couldn't let them muddle her thoughts. She is very calculating, which can often be misinterpreted as cold, but she doesn't mean it to, she just thinks her way through her problems. She caught the attention of Ceaser and she rose through the ranks of the Void, eventually becoming the gang's Second in Command. She is fiercely loyal to those she trust, which is a hard thing to gain afterall on the streets, unwise trust can very quickly get a cat killed.

{"Downtown"}

Hi Strike. I think you need to take a closer look at what I'm asking for in the form in regards to format. Also, I know the minimum post length is five lines, but when it comes to cat bios, I'd like to see a bit more. I just did a quick count and the average for all the other cats is 15 lines in their bio with a low of 10 lines and high of 23. please try to expand Twig more. thanks~

{Lyra} {14 moons} {Female} {Sparkly }
Lyra is a small, dark brown classic tabby she-cat. She has white paws, a white bib, chin, and belly, and a white tailtip. Lyra has large, dark green eyes. Lyra is a shy, sweet cat, with motherly instincts. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and is often very emotional. She tends to be unconfident, and gives into others demands quickly. However, she is extremely kind, and often ends up lighting herself on fire to keep others warm. Lyra lived her entire life as a ship's cat, but when her ship docked in a London port, she found herself stranded after a fight with another stray left her injured and unable to return. She quickly found herself expecting kits, and is now attempting to live life in any possible way she can.
{Waterside District}

{Jack} {31 moons} {Male} {Sparkly }
Jack is a black-and-white tuxedo tom with dark brown eyes. He has a small dark grey band around his left foreleg, which is freckled with white. He is large and muscular, and often described as very handsome. Jack has a very flirty personality, as well as being extremely adventurous. He's very extroverted, and often up for anything. He knows the city like the back of his paw, and tends to wander around, although he sticks to the Downtown district more often than not. He is bisexual. Jack was born in another city and lived as a street cat for many years, until he was picked up by a travelling gang of cats. However, after he was double-crossed by the gang, he left once they reached London, and has stayed there ever since.
{Downtown District}

{Winchester} {42 moons} {Male} {Sparky )
Winchester is a regal-looking all-black tom with a nick in his right ear, and slightly fluffy fur. He has warm, dark orange eyes, one of which has a scar over it. He is slender yet large, and quite muscular. Winchester, despite his name and appearance, is actually a very kind cat. He readily takes pity on others, and loves to help others out. He is very confident and determined, and can sometimes be overly stubborn. He tends to become very aggressive and violent when pushed. He currently leads the Free Will Gang. Winchester was born as a housecat, but after his owner's house caught fire, his mother died, and he barely escaped with his life. He and his younger brother and father lived as street cats since then, but after his father was crushed on a building site and his younger brother went back to the housecat life, he started to live alone.
{Downtown District}

The Free Will Gang:
The Free Will Gang lives in the Downtown District, but they are considering moving to the Waterside District to avoid conflicts with the Void Gang. They currently live in an abandoned Twoleg shop and alleyway, both of which are heavily marked. The Free Will Gang has a semi-strict hierarchy. They have a leader - currently Winchester - and a second-in-command, followed by a set of cats dedicated to hunting and fighting, and five or six cats who have more specialised skills such as healing, scouting, scavenging, or building. Queens, kits, elders, and those who are sick or injured eat first, and are defended the most, followed by the leader and second-in-command, then important visitors, then anybody else. There are a few stashes of prey in the camp, but most cats hunt to eat for themselves, then bring back prey for those who can't hunt. The second-in-command or leader's kits will become leader after the death of the current leader. They aren't very wary of others, but it's customary to ask the leader or second-in-command before allowing overnight visitors, and almost all cats in the Free Will Gang won't hesitate to fight if need be. (Feel free to list any cat as part of the Gang. However, a second-in-command or higher-up position must be okayed by me first.) The Free Will Gang values those with kindness and empathy the most, and prefers intelligent, street-smarts cats to muscular bullies with no brains. They won't hesitate to protect those who can't protect themselves, even outside the gang. They are quite territorial, and react aggressively to others trying to take their territory, but tend to be very friendly and tolerant to outsiders wandering past, and have a good standing as well-meaning cats in the city.

I think I fixed it?))

Expanded Jack and Winchester, and I'm fine with waiting.

Awesome!

there's still improper words and grammar mistakes here and there, but the post is understandable. you're welcome to roleplay, but i would like to see you go through your bio once more and try to fix them.
i truly hate to sound so nitpicky, but because the bio is more noticeable as it goes on the front page, i would like to, at the very least, have proper writing for it. i promise i won't be as demanding with roleplay posts ^^" but i do hope that you will also be getting something out of this.
also, i hope i don't sound offensive or anything, but i am curious. is English your first language, strike?

Clementine} {5 moons} {female} {MorningGlory}


Small, sleek, black shecat with a white chest,  paws, muzzle, and tail-tip. Her big, round eyes are deep blue. Friendly and energetic, Clementine loves to chat with others and is hardly short on friends although she chooses to only be close to a few. She doesn't know when to stay quiet which can lead to arguments. Being liked is vital to her, and as such, she tends to avoid controversial topics when conversing; however, when she does decide to put her (admittedly minimal) weight behind a cause, no one can get her to budge. Clementine loves to be the center of attention and thrives in social situations. She strongly dislikes being alone, and as a result, she can usually be found wherever the action is. Though very kind, Clementine can be over-excitable and a bit nosy; still, her friends see her excitement as rather charming, and she possesses the unique ability to keep up a conversation with even the most reluctant interlocutor. Blessed with a quick wit, Clementine is haughty, intelligent, and an excellent liar. She is pretty and naturally excels at hunting, so she thinks of herself as better than her peers. She can be a bit of a bully when she feels offended by someone, but she is very kind and sweet to her friends. Due to her small size, she is not a great fighter. She was born in the Void to a shecat named Edith. She's never met her father, Fenris, but she knows his name. Her mother made her leave the gang when she was three moons old, not wanting Clementine to grow up with them. She took Clementine to the waterside district, knowing she'd be well off there. Clementine hopes to move up to the Heights one day but is quite comfortable where she is. She likes to follow the twolegs around, curious about their boats and their way of life. She can also often be found hanging around Koba whom she finds fascinating.

Clementine looks great, Glory :3 I'll add~

also, forgot to mention: if you want to join a gang, Strike, it depends on the gang whether or not Twig can be part of it

Anything I need to extend or fix?)

This lol )