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Post by Splintercat on Aug 16, 2016 21:08:22 GMT -5
She never told me, or practically anyone else, and she's always hidden it. I feel sick to my stomach. What do I say to her? How do I get her to stop?
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Post by ❧Ɠσℓ∂єηƝυggєт☙ on Aug 16, 2016 21:12:26 GMT -5
Talk to her. Ask her how she feels. Be there for her. Be someone she can depend on when she needs someone to talk to or something. Just be there.
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Post by Jules Sanchez on Aug 16, 2016 21:28:04 GMT -5
I have been there at one point in my life, and it is a difficult situation to be in. You always feel like you are out of control and in some odd way you "need it." The most you can do is to be there for her, to talk to her when she needs it, send her random happy YouTube videos, or go out for ice cream with. Try to remind her that this stage in her life is extremely temporary and things do get better. It always does.This too shall pass. Whatever you do though- try not to make her not-as terrible as it sounds- it may cause her to be even more drawn to it because someone is telling her not do it. Try to influence her not to by being very subtle about it. Mention that it could leave permanent scars or that she is harming her beautiful self that is extremely important. Just be there for her and remind her always that she is loved and there is help available- usually those who self-harm are crying out for it. Try to remind her that life is worth living for and there is so much to be happy about. If she is a reader I highly recommend she reads "The Book of Awesome" by Neil Paricha.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2016 21:30:01 GMT -5
whatever you do, try not to focus a lot on it don't act like you're looking down on her for it
try suggesting distractions from it tell her (wherever she's cutting) will never be the same again if she continues, like in the future it will seize up and get hurt easier whil it's happening she could end up damaging a vein
it's not a healthy coping method tell her she can talk to you whenever she feels the urge to etc.)
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2016 21:32:40 GMT -5
just be there for her. if you wanna talk to her about it, be v clear about how you feel. try not to make her feel bad for it; that's the last thing she needs. make it clear you're there to support her. tell her how much you care. like. sprinkle it into everyday things. tell her randomly. listen to her if/when she decides to talk to you about it. she may not like this stuff bc i sure don't, but tell her it gets better, this is temporary, etc. things will eventually change for the better. try to become more positive yourself. point out the good in life and in the world. but do realize that it'll take time. changes in her and her stopping cutting herself won't be sudden. it'll take a lot of effort. but do your best not to demonize her for it. there's something happening/something she's feeling that's making her do this and the last thing she needs is that from a friend. if you're particularly worried, contact something like a school psychologist
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2016 21:34:21 GMT -5
also you can suggest alternatives. i have some friends who used to cut and now they do things like draw on themselves, crinkle up paper, tear up paper, hold an ice cube, etc when they feel the urge. really as far as i can tell anything that occupies her hands and her mind will work
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Post by Sour Candy on Aug 16, 2016 21:48:23 GMT -5
I'd offer advice, but I wouldn't be the person to ask because the only experience I have with this is a former friend who cuts herself purely for attention. She threatened suicide because her boyfriend wouldn't wear a dress for her.
But yeah, what GoldenNugget is saying sound good.
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