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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:09:35 GMT -5
i move into my dorm on friday and i actually leave to travel to campus on thursday one of my little brothers is really upset over this ??? like ok he and i used to argue a lot. ngl i hated him. i rlly did for a period of years. but we're cool now. mainly bc we both love hockey. we watch every game together, homework permitting. we play street hockey together. and soccer too. and occasionally baseball tho i don't like it as much. but. like. today i overheard him asking my mom if she'll watch hockey w him when i'm gone bc he likes watching it w someone more now and idk i told him i put the hockey cards he gave me-- 2 sports illustrated ones; one Alex Ovechkin and one Amanda Kessel-- w my other hockey cards-- those are Top Deck ?? i think ??-- and put them under all my clothes to take w me and he started crying rlly rlly hard my mom and i invited him to come up w us to help me move in and unpack
and he hasn't rlly looked at me since that invitation he's rlly upset and idk what to do rn bc i'm Garbage at comforting ppl ??
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:21:07 GMT -5
someone on here has to kno how to comfort ppl
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:21:49 GMT -5
awh cutie ): can you skype with him or talk on the phone during games you'd normally watch together?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:24:02 GMT -5
awh cutie ): can you skype with him or talk on the phone during games you'd normally watch together? he doesn't have his own phone tho. like if he did it would be easier but i understand why he doesn't have one. and he'd have to use a parent's laptop. but that could maybe work if my hw doesn't get in the way
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:24:40 GMT -5
idk. how old is he?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:26:03 GMT -5
14. why does that matter tho
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:35:01 GMT -5
14. why does that matter tho lm good at comforting little kids, but not teens. Like a little kid would love telling you new hockey developments because it's something you have in common with them and they're really passionate, but I doubt a teen would find the same enthusiasm and comfort in being able to tell you about those things as a kid would.
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Post by Jas on Aug 15, 2016 20:35:29 GMT -5
i'd talk to your parents and him about setting something up where you could watch things together skype is really useful for that
idk how far away your campus is, but if you ever get a chance to come home, you could still do things together then
tbh my little sister was also 14 when i finally moved into my own dorm and she was pretty upset by it she cried on the way home apparently and texted me a lot the first few days but after the first couple times my family came to visit me on the weekend, she started to feel a little better about it
it sucks to say, but time is really the only thing that will actually help :/
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:36:58 GMT -5
14. why does that matter tho lm good at comforting little kids, but not teens. Like a little kid would love telling you new hockey developments because it's something you have in common with them and they're really passionate, but I doubt a teen would find the same enthusiasm and comfort in being able to tell you about those things as a kid would. ah ok tho idk what you're getting at ??? bc he and i talk about hockey developments all the time so ??? like what are you saying
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:39:03 GMT -5
i'd talk to your parents and him about setting something up where you could watch things together skype is really useful for that idk how far away your campus is, but if you ever get a chance to come home, you could still do things together then tbh my little sister was also 14 when i finally moved into my own dorm and she was pretty upset by it she cried on the way home apparently and texted me a lot the first few days but after the first couple times my family came to visit me on the weekend, she started to feel a little better about it it sucks to say, but time is really the only thing that will actually help :/ yeah i rlly think we should set that up. unfortunately he doesn't have his own phone (tho i understand why) or laptop (again i understand) or anything so he'd be at the mercy of parents about what he can use and when he can use it whereas i can use my laptop and phone whenever i want i'm 6 - 7 hours (depends on the route) away so i don't expect to see him often. i know that sounds mean maybe but i rlly don't intend to go home unless it's a major break like winter break or spring break ngl i didn't expect him to be this upset and it's kinda worrying to me
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Post by Arcticmist on Aug 15, 2016 20:40:30 GMT -5
College transition can be tricky for everyone.
You should ask your parents to set up some sort of skype connection thing so you can keep in touch. You can even skype your parents too. If you go to school far away, it'll help. I live 3 hrs (on a good traffic day) from my best friend, and skype is wonderful. I also use it for talking to my old internet friends from way back.
If your campus is reasonably close, he can always come and visit you too and you can hang out every once in awhile. Or you could visit home.
Sometimes just being there with a person or making an effort to show that you care is the best way to comfort them. That's what I've learned. Also, you can just make an effort to still be there for him.
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Post by Jas on Aug 15, 2016 20:45:09 GMT -5
that's why i think talking to your parents before you go would be a good idea because then you would both have everything laid out, rules and stuff too, so miscommunication and disappointment doesn't happen as often!
ah, that's a bit too far then i'm sorry. and i don't think that sounds mean at all lol. most people i know are so done with living with their parents. you have my best wishes on figuring life out on your own.
idk, i don't think it's that uncommon. most teenagers i've come to know keep things to themselves when they aren't sure how to express their feelings. i would just try to reassure him some, but ultimately, i don't think there's a whole lot you can do. just let him know you're going to really miss watching hockey with him too.
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Post by Arcticmist on Aug 15, 2016 20:45:27 GMT -5
i'd talk to your parents and him about setting something up where you could watch things together skype is really useful for that idk how far away your campus is, but if you ever get a chance to come home, you could still do things together then tbh my little sister was also 14 when i finally moved into my own dorm and she was pretty upset by it she cried on the way home apparently and texted me a lot the first few days but after the first couple times my family came to visit me on the weekend, she started to feel a little better about it it sucks to say, but time is really the only thing that will actually help :/ yeah i rlly think we should set that up. unfortunately he doesn't have his own phone (tho i understand why) or laptop (again i understand) or anything so he'd be at the mercy of parents about what he can use and when he can use it whereas i can use my laptop and phone whenever i want i'm 6 - 7 hours (depends on the route) away so i don't expect to see him often. i know that sounds mean maybe but i rlly don't intend to go home unless it's a major break like winter break or spring break ngl i didn't expect him to be this upset and it's kinda worrying to me It doesn't sound mean that you won't be able to make it home that often. A good friend of mine goes to a college 2 hours away and she barely comes home. Albeit she's extremely independent. I know other people that went to my high school that go to the same college and I've seen them come home twice as much (they're all a year older than I am). Emotions and hormones are tricky things in teenagers. Sometimes it's hard to know how someone will react when they're going through a lot of change. It's not good that he's this upset, but it's probably natural. Change makes people upset all the time.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:45:53 GMT -5
College transition can be tricky for everyone. You should ask your parents to set up some sort of skype connection thing so you can keep in touch. You can even skype your parents too. If you go to school far away, it'll help. I live 3 hrs (on a good traffic day) from my best friend, and skype is wonderful. I also use it for talking to my old internet friends from way back. If your campus is reasonably close, he can always come and visit you too and you can hang out every once in awhile. Or you could visit home. Sometimes just being there with a person or making an effort to show that you care is the best way to comfort them. That's what I've learned. Also, you can just make an effort to still be there for him. again he'd be at the mercy of parents bc he doesn't have his own laptop or computer to set up the account on. i have my own tho. and he doesn't have a phone so. but i'm 6 - 7 hours (depending on the route you take) away w good traffic. and i know it must sound mean but i don't rlly plan on going back often ?? like i only plan to go home on big breaks like winter and spring
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:47:39 GMT -5
that's why i think talking to your parents before you go would be a good idea because then you would both have everything laid out, rules and stuff too, so miscommunication and disappointment doesn't happen as often! ah, that's a bit too far then i'm sorry. and i don't think that sounds mean at all lol. most people i know are so done with living with their parents. you have my best wishes on figuring life out on your own. idk, i don't think it's that uncommon. most teenagers i've come to know keep things to themselves when they aren't sure how to express their feelings. i would just try to reassure him some, but ultimately, i don't think there's a whole lot you can do. just let him know you're going to really miss watching hockey with him too. yeah i'm gonna have to get them to set something up for him thanks !! i just. i'm ready to not be at home i would've done the same at 14, i think. like i wouldn't want to talk about it. now i think i would. but not at 14. that's like right in the middle of that rlly bad teenager stuff
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:48:25 GMT -5
yeah i rlly think we should set that up. unfortunately he doesn't have his own phone (tho i understand why) or laptop (again i understand) or anything so he'd be at the mercy of parents about what he can use and when he can use it whereas i can use my laptop and phone whenever i want i'm 6 - 7 hours (depends on the route) away so i don't expect to see him often. i know that sounds mean maybe but i rlly don't intend to go home unless it's a major break like winter break or spring break ngl i didn't expect him to be this upset and it's kinda worrying to me It doesn't sound mean that you won't be able to make it home that often. A good friend of mine goes to a college 2 hours away and she barely comes home. Albeit she's extremely independent. I know other people that went to my high school that go to the same college and I've seen them come home twice as much (they're all a year older than I am). Emotions and hormones are tricky things in teenagers. Sometimes it's hard to know how someone will react when they're going through a lot of change. It's not good that he's this upset, but it's probably natural. Change makes people upset all the time. allow me to explain the thing about going home i've tried to explain multiple times: it's not that i'm just far. it's that & the fact i do not want to go home often
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:50:12 GMT -5
lm good at comforting little kids, but not teens. Like a little kid would love telling you new hockey developments because it's something you have in common with them and they're really passionate, but I doubt a teen would find the same enthusiasm and comfort in being able to tell you about those things as a kid would. ah ok tho idk what you're getting at ??? bc he and i talk about hockey developments all the time so ??? like what are you saying When your going to work, a little kid would let you go with the promise of calling, because that would be enough but with a teenager it wouldn't be enough ?? if that makes any sense.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:51:14 GMT -5
ah ok tho idk what you're getting at ??? bc he and i talk about hockey developments all the time so ??? like what are you saying When your going to work, a little kid would let you go with the promise of calling, because that would be enough but with a teenager it wouldn't be enough ?? if that makes any sense. idk what kind of teenagers u know that a promise isn't enough for but ok ?? like a promise is all he's getting from me. that's all i have to offer. i can't do any more than that rn. we talk just fine but who's he gonna watch hockey and play it w now. we're p close. honestly idk what point you're getting at bc you're not making sense
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:52:23 GMT -5
ah ok tho idk what you're getting at ??? bc he and i talk about hockey developments all the time so ??? like what are you saying When your going to work, a little kid would let you go with the promise of calling, because that would be enough but with a teenager it wouldn't be enough ?? if that makes any sense. the way i saw it was like. a kid is going to love to talk about stuff like that bc it's one of their interests, and they'll just babble for like fifteen minutes and be content, but a teen will have societal norms forced on them making babbling not acceptable, and they'll have a more developed mind making it easier to talk about happy things while still being really sad
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:52:27 GMT -5
When your going to work, a little kid would let you go with the promise of calling, because that would be enough but with a teenager it wouldn't be enough ?? if that makes any sense. idk what kind of teenagers u know that a promise isn't enough for but ok ?? all of them ?? havent met a teen where a phone call is enough
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:53:44 GMT -5
w/e i'm done idk what you're saying. you don't know my brother and don't know what is or isn't enough for him so
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 20:57:19 GMT -5
When your going to work, a little kid would let you go with the promise of calling, because that would be enough but with a teenager it wouldn't be enough ?? if that makes any sense. the way i saw it was like. a kid is going to love to talk about stuff like that bc it's one of their interests, and they'll just babble for like fifteen minutes and be content, but a teen will have societal norms forced on them making babbling not acceptable, and they'll have a more developed mind making it easier to talk about happy things while still being really sad yeah, thats what I was thinking. kids are content easier
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Post by Jas on Aug 15, 2016 21:03:21 GMT -5
rip this thread is meant to be supportive, not to criticize someone's assessment of their family member
honestly, i think everything will be fine, striker. if you make an effort, then that will mean so much to your brother, even if he doesn't outright say it.
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