|☾ ☼ ϟ ≈ ☁| 5 Clan RP Story Page |☾ ☼ ϟ ≈ ☁|

(Lol ok, I need to think about it)

(Idk what to write about....need suggestions)

(Oh man if I can even remember Fallenlight's story..... it was so long ago. And hm....I could do something it might not totally be cannon but its something I wanted to write)

(I think I might write about Lavenderpaw/Lavendersky's reincarnation...)

*Slams door open*

*reads violently*

I LOVE IT

Half a moon into berry's training. During scars leadership. Cheetah, I believe was an apprentice at the time. Older than berry

    "What happened to you? ShadowClan used to honor your great deeds as a warrior. So many of us looked up to you." 

    "Silence."

    "I looked up to you."

    "I told you to be quiet!" Bloodmoon stood up and faced the former leader, his ears pinned back as he stared into her deep eyes of blue. The crescent moon that marked her face seemed to be its own light in the shadows of his darkness. There were no sounds from the murky forest around them. No stars shone on the land of the condemned. Bone narrow branches hung over them like talons prepared to snatch them up into the darkness. She was held in a makeshift den, wounded with no prospect of future survival. Her pelt was so dark it blended with the blackness, all he could see of her was her eyes of deep blue and the white moon that rimmed them. He was told to guard her, an honor to be trusted in doing so, but all he felt was hollow. "I would save your words, Moonstar, for a cat who wants to hear them. You're lucky Blackadder hasn't killed you already." 

    "Blackadder wants to use me against Northstar. Threatening to end me for eternity if she doesn't bend her will to AdderClan, but Blackadder fails to realize that Northstar doesn't need me anymore." Moonstar's eyes shimmered with pride and amusement. "Killing me will only return my spirit to the Clans. I will be given a new name and a new life, but as strong as Blackadder is, he can't end a soul." 

    "I think you've been dancing in the stars too long, Moonstar." Bloodmoon turned his back to her once again, turning his gaze to the darkness. "There is nothing after this." 

    "What happened to you that made you lose your faith, Bloodmoon? You were one of the last cats I ever expected to end up here."

    Bloodmoon tapped his tail against the ground. "Stop talking." 

    "You owe me an explanation." She shifted, sitting up despite her wounded leg. "After all the moons you spent training me, I deserve that much." 

    He didn't say anything. He only stared out into the darkness as his fur started to rise.

    "Look at me, Bloodmoon! What happened to you?!" 

    "I died! That's what happened!" He suddenly whipped around, snapping his fangs right in her face. "I died and I wasn't ready too!"

    Her blue eyes blinked in surprise. "Bloodmoon...you saved my brother's life." 

    "But I wasn't ready to give up mine!" He lashed his tail and shook his head, tearing his eyes from her. "StarClan abandoned me in that medicine den. They could've let me live! I had devoted my life to following their code! Protecting ShadowClan above all else! I..." Bloodmoon let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. "I never even got to fall in love or raise kits of my own. StarClan took all that away from me." 

    "And you think Blackadder will give it to you?" There was sympathy in her eyes. He couldn't see the rest of her body, but he knew those eyes. He had been the one to instill such a strength in them. "Bloodmoon, what you did saved my brother's life and I would've been lost if he had been killed." She moved forward and he felt her warm fur against his. "I never forgot your sacrifice and everyday I worked hard to a warrior you would've been proud to say you trained." She looked him right in the eye. "This isn't where you belong. You would never wish any harm on ShadowClan."

    "It doesn't matter, Moonstar." Bloodmoon shook his head, the hollowness in him only deepened. "I am here and nothing can change that. Blackadder is forming some sort of unity down here and I must be apart of it if I don't want to end up alone."

    "You know this is wrong." 

    "There's nothing I can do to change it." Bloodmoon turned his back to her once again and silence filled the darkness. She needed to give up on him, because he had already given up on himself. 

    "Moonstar--" 

    Nightsky padded out of the shadowed bracken, but paused when she spotted Bloodmoon. Her ear flicked with uncertainty and she glanced into the den at the former ShadowClan leader. "Nightsky, what are you doing here?" Bloodmoon asked quickly, but dully. 

    There was a hesitance in the SkyClan she-cat. Nightsky was of the living, a follower of Robinstar who followed Blackadder. Bloodmoon had seen her often slinking around Moonstar's prison. He mostly thought nothing of it, Nightsky wasn't one of the higher valued warriors. He was pretty sure Robinstar even saw her as weak. However, Nightsky took a deep breath and held her head high. "I'm taking Moonstar." 

    Bloodmoon blinked, his ears falling flat. "What?"

    "I'm taking Moonstar and I'm going to return her to StarClan's hunting grounds." The she-cat slid out her claws. "And you're not going to stop me." 

    "You went to ShadowClan," Moonstar mewed in relief.

    Nightsky nodded back to her. "Cliffheart and Northstar helped me like you said they would, but I won't rest easy until I've helped you in return, Moonstar."

    "I can't just let you take her and go." Bloodmoon stood up, his hardened eyes glanced back at Moonstar before looking to Nightsky. His claws slid out. "Blackadder will be coming for her any time soon. He'll have my pelt if I let her go."

    "Then we have no time to lose." Moonstar stood up, hobbling closer to him. "Come with us, Bloodmoon." 

    He was surprised by the seriousness of her request. There was not even a waver of doubt in her deep blue eyes when she looked right at him, and it caused him to hesitate. "Come with me, Bloodmoon," she insisted.

    He had to tear his gaze away, a quaking trembling his gut. "I...After what I did...StarClan couldn't accept me. I am here now, and there is no changing that." 

    "You deserve another chance, Bloodmoon, please come with us!" Moonstar nudged against him. Her eyes pleaded at him like they had when she was just an apprentice. 

    Nightsky suddenly stiffened, her ears tilting back toward sounds from the brush. "Moonstar, they're coming." 

    A panic instantly skipped in Bloodmoon's heart. He looked wildly at Nightsky, hearing the sounds of the coming tyrant. "Go." He looked at Moonstar. "You need to go." 

    "Bloodmoon--"

    "Get her out of here." Bloodmoon nudged Moonstar toward Nightsky, turning pleading eyes to the SkyClan warrior. "Please, get her out of here. I'll..." He felt a fear falter his heartbeat. "I'll hold them off." 

    Moonstar's eyes grew sharp with alarm. "Bloodmoon--"

   "Moonstar, come on." Nightsky urged the injured leader onward, away from the prison and away from Bloodmoon. "Hurry!"

    He stared into those deep blue eyes for as long as he could, inscribing their every detail into his mind that he would never forget them or the moon that rimmed them. But then, she was gone. Disappearing like the new moon with a redeemed warrior at her side. He realized as she went, that a weighted burden had lifted from his shoulders. His former apprentice was being returned to the hunting grounds of StarClan. She would be safe there. She would be with her kits there and her love. I guess if I did one thing right, he thought to himself. It was training her. 
    
    "Bloodmoon." 

    Dread dropped like a dead weight in Bloodmoon's heart at the voice that daunted from behind him. He felt fear fire through his nerves and for a moment he thought of fleeing after the former leader, but he had to buy her and Nightsky as much time as he could. He took a deep breath and slowly turned around. 

    Blackadder stood behind him. A black tom with red-amber eyes. Scars of his death marked his pelt where StarClan had ripped into him. Blackadder was large, one of the largest toms, Bloodmoon had ever seen, and his size only added power to his natural strength. Word was that Blackadder had been a killer since the day he had become an apprentice. Some said that he waged his war against StarClan because he desired to be stronger than them. Others claimed that Blackadder had only sought the heart of a she-cat, but she chose another over him and he grew darkness from his jealousy, allowing that darkness to control him. The only thing anyone knew for certain was that Blackadder hated the clans and wanted to see them destroyed. Blackadder was using his own son to do just that. He was turning as many cats away from StarClan as he possibly could. 

    Bloodmoon held his head up as he faced the dark tom. "Blackadder." 

    "Where is the mouse-brained moon-cat?" Blackadder narrowed his eyes on Bloodmoon, his lips curling in his rising anger.

    Bloodmoon let a deep breath fill his lungs and he slid out his claws. "She's not here." 

    "Clearly." The evil tom lashed his tail, his eyes glancing about. "Where is she?!" 

    "Like I would tell you." 

    Blackadder's eyes suddenly flashed with interest upon hearing the sarcasm in Bloodmoon's voice. "Oh? Did the brooding ShadowClan carrion-rat have a change of heart? There were whispers that you were pathetic, but I had hoped you'd prove them wrong. This is your last chance, Bloodmoon. I will end you for all eternity if you don't tell me where Moonstar is." 

    "Not even you can end a soul, Blackadder." 

    "Did that mooning toad-brain fill your head with hopes of second chances, Bloodmoon?" Blackadder lashed his tail and took a step forward. It took everything in Bloodmoon not to wince away from him. "You don't get it, do you?! Traitors like us that are banished to this condemned forest don't get second chances at life! Unless we take power from StarClan, we will be nothing if we're killed here!" 

    Bloodmoon spread his paws apart, crouching low to take a battle stance, and baring his teeth. "I'd rather be nothing in place of a being a traitor to ShadowClan!" He sprang forward, claws aimed to strike. StarClan forbid he back down from this monster. 

    He put everything he had into that fight. None of Blackadder's followers interfered. Everyone knew how it would end, but Bloodmoon fought on anyway. Twice, his claws ripped into Blackadder's pelt. He had lost count of how many times Blackadder's tore into his. He didn't feel anything when he hit the ground for the last time. Too exhausted, too wounded, Bloodmoon couldn't get up and Blackadder had him pinned under his massive paws. The still forest had grown rancid with the sounds of yowling and cheering of Blackadder's followers. They spat curses at him, shouted worthlessness at him, and begged to see him die. Bloodmoon paid them no mind. He closed his eyes and focused on the image of Moonstar's gaze of deep blue and glowing white moon. Blackadder's fangs tightened around his neck, spilling his blood one last time, but he only felt relief.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    A crescent moon shone soft light down on the forest. The sky was clear of any clouds, allowing the stars to shine by the billions. Only the sound was of the wind that sang through the trees, the night itself scenting of sweet winter's chill. Under tall dark pines, one young tom turned his green eyes up to the moon, the flecks of amber within them glistening like gold. His short, black fur was ruffled against the northern wind and dotted with ginger and brown specks. His large paws secured him a good footing, only one of them shaded with ginger. For his age, he was well built and strong in his skills, but the stillness that quieted the forest also echoed within him tonight. 

    "Cedarstorm?" 

    The tom blinked, finally tearing his gaze away from the moon at the soft call of the voice. A pure white she-cat was walking toward him, phasing out of the shadows like a ghost. Her amber eyes were blinking tiredly and her head tilted curiously when she looked at him. However, her most noticeable feature was her belly: fully round and fully solid. "Starrylight, what are you doing out here?" 

    "I could ask you the same thing." She padded up to him and sat down. He unconsciously leaned against her at the touch of her warm fur and she nuzzled against his cheek. "Flintclaw said he saw you leave camp earlier and you hadn't come back." 

    "I was going too." Cedarstorm licked her cheek reassuringly. "You need to be resting. You'll need your strength when our kits come."

    "I can't rest when I'm worried about you, Cedarstorm." Starrylight looked him right in the eye, her gaze showing her concern and her love. "Was it the dream again?"

    Cedarstorm let out a sigh and looked back up toward the moon. "I'm not sure why I keep having it. Maybe I've just heard one too many stories about AdderClan?" He tried to make light of it, curling the corner of his mouth to a smile and glancing at her, but in her tired state, she wasn't going to let him slide past this one. 

    "We should tell Northstar, Snowdance, or Opalmist." 

    Cedarstorm shook his head. "No, they've got too much to worry about already. Starrylight, I'm fine." 

    "If you were fine, you wouldn't be out here." 

    He let out a sigh, looking back up at the moon. "No matter how dark the dream, you don't have to worry about me." Cedarstorm looked at her, smiling softly. "I know when I wake up, I'll be right where I belong." He curled his tail around her, pressing against her to take in her sweet scent. "I have you and our kits." He smiled down at her belly. "Starrylight, I couldn't be happier." 

    She purred softly and a smile softened her face; however the concern he still saw in her eyes. "I'm just scared these dreams are from...After what ShadowClan went through..." 

    "They're not," Cedarstorm reassured quickly. "Cliffheart told me about the Dark Forest dreams, these aren't it. Trust me, Starrylight, these dreams don't mean anything." 

    His mate looked up at him for long moments, but finally she nodded. "I trust you, Cedarstorm, I always have and I always will." She leaned into him. "I love you." 

    "I love you too." He licked her forehead. "Can you please return to camp and get some rest? I won't be much longer." 

    "You promise?" 

    Cedarstorm nodded with a soft smile. "I promise." He watched her go and felt his heart go with her. She melted back into the shadows the same way she came, and the prospect of being a father once against jumped his gut with excitement. Cedarstorm looked back up at the moon. The dreams he was having weren't anything to fear, that he had concluded. What he had determined was that he could learn from them and when he stared up at the crescent moon, he felt a pair of deep blue eyes staring back at him. 

Thank you!

Yup! I never got to rp Bloodmoon much, and I really fell for him. so, I decided to remake him in Cedar, give him a second chance. It's not major plot or anything, just a backstory.

Owlwhisker (Tanner) and Tessa



Our mother once said we were strange. At least, I think she said that. I really don’t remember her, not as clearly as Tessa was able to. Tessa remembered mother all the time. Dreamed of her, muttered her name, screamed her name. Tessa hated her, I think.

Well, she wanted to, at least. I didn’t understand all that back then. See, my sister’s name was Tessa, and Tessa and I were born in a place where twoleg nests scraped the sky, where cats came and went, new cats every day and night, and where the rivers and and streams that I’ve called home now reeked of carrion.

I liked it there, really. I met a lot of cats. But, I’m not sure if I can remember many of their names. They came and went so fast, and back then I didn’t understand a lot of things. I didn’t know where those cats disappeared to. I didn’t know why it wasn’t okay to walk towards the twolegs. I didn’t know why Tessa always had blood on her claws. I assumed it was just how things were. I guess that’s how I’ve always been. Dumb, yet observant. It takes me a long time to process things.

My name was Tanner. My sister’s name was Tessa. My mother’s name was...I think it was Mila, Milene, Mi-something...Tessa told me it was better to forget about her. Mother gave birth to us near a twoleg branch that dripped water. The other cats called it a “pipe” I think. I know some twoleg words, you know! I can remember those.

I’m sorry. I got distracted again.

So mother had us between two skynests, where the twolegs and dogs could not catch us. The pipe dripped water, and I loved the puddle it made. There was always a puddle to play in. I remember that. But mostly, I remember Tessa. Everywhere I went, she went with me. Everywhere she went, I went with her. We were inseparable. She was very smart, and learned things quickly, like how to copy mother when she bristled and clawed at a passing tom, or purred and swished her tail instead. That happened a lot too.

I didn’t understand why, at the time, mother had so many toms come around. But they didn’t stay long. So it was us three, for a while, maybe...7 moons or so? Us between the skynests with the tasty food the twolegs tossed away into their carrion bins, and the wonderful pipe that made my play puddles. It was nice. Tessa was my best friend, and she always kept me safe when the toms would try to get a look at us. She’d claw at their noses if they growled at me, she was so brave!

But then the toms would leave, and mother was swat Tessa right back. I never saw much, I was easily distracted, but I always heard Tessa give a little breath. That was it. Tessa was tough though, Tessa didn’t regret hitting the angry toms, and Tessa always came back to the play puddles, even when her muzzle was red from mother’s swat.

Tessa never growled at me. Never hit me, never got angry at me. I think back to all the cats she had been around, all the anger in her eyes, how often her claws slid out. But when it came to me, she would never let the monsters get me. She’d never let me see the things she saw. I remember clearly, the words she said nearly every time she was near me.

“I will guard you little brother. We’ll stay together, little brother. I’m your big sister, little brother.”

I think Tessa changed when mother left. I promise, she had good in her, she did. But she changed that day. We fell asleep one night and mother was gone the next morning. We stayed near the puddles for a while, but soon Tessa got anxious. I didn’t know why. I thought mother was just exploring, like we did sometimes.

But Tessa said no, and Tessa knew what to say, what to do. She told me to stay at her side. We would look for mother. I think she liked mother’s attention, even when mother swatted Tessa for driving a tom away, so the thought of mother up and leaving really bugged her.

It was cold, and we searched all day. The city was so...big, you know? Tracking her scent was hard when there were hundreds of other scents filling up our noses. We’d never traveled this far from the play puddles, but Tessa didn’t falter, so I didn’t either. We passed twoleg nests, avoided the big dogs, kept an eye out for the mean cats that liked to jump around.

Somehow we survived that little trek, but the outcome was the last thing we had wanted. When we found mother, she was with another tom. She purred and flounced about him, and I didn’t understand why, but Tessa got mad about that. So my sister stormed up to our mother, demanded to know why she had left. She yelled and yelled, and mother seemed to not hear her at first.

At least, until the tom got annoyed and left mother there with my sister. Mother got so, so mad. Her eyes grew all scary, and she started yelling right back at Tessa. I remember mother’s words, one of the only times I remember mother.

“Take care of yourselves. You’ve ruined enough, I’m not wasting my time and prey on moons of this. I never wanted you anyway!”

Those words stuck with me to this day, and once I understood what they meant the older I got, the more I was able to understand the way Tessa started to change. Tessa yelled right back, didn’t she and I mean anything as mother’s kits? Wasn’t mother going to teach us how to fight and hunt first? Didn’t we make her proud?

I think mother said no. I remembered more so the moments when Tessa and mother started fighting. Tessa had learned to fight watching mother fight off unwanted toms and small dogs, but mother had never taken time to teach us things. Tessa taught me things. Mother did not. Tessa was a good fighter, I promise she was, but mother was easily stronger.
Tessa got really hurt that day. Mother struck her a lot, made her bleed alot. Tessa cried, and it was angry, but also sad. It breaks my heart when I remember it. Mother then turned on me, once, trying to lift her claws at me. I was so confused, I didn’t know if I could move or not.

But once again, Tessa never let the monsters hurt me. She screamed so loud that the birds flew from the twoleg roofs. She pulled herself up and bit at mother’s tail, screaming for mother to leave me alone.

Mother don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt my little brother.

She didn’t, because Tessa made her mad again. Mother gave her one last minute of strikes before she must have gotten tired, or sick of remaining here with bites and scratches. Mother shouted at us to leave her alone, never look for her again, and rounded the corner.

I never saw mother again.

I focused on dragging Tessa back to another alleyway. She was real scratched up, but not fatally. I think it was her mind that was killed that day though. Her eyes were not the same kind of blue after that. They stayed open, lost in dark thoughts that I never understood. That I don’t think I could ever understand. The pain, the desire for mother’s pride and love, the rush of power, it was something she needed to survive. It was something I was incapable of understanding.

I managed to find us a place with food, and water pipes that leaked into larger play puddles. I think without those, Tessa’s wounds would have grown fatal. She was always hardy though. Feeding ourselves on twoleg carrion bin scraps and puddle water, we lived and survived in our new alleyway.

But everyday Tessa healed, and everyday she grew more torn apart on the inside. She scratched at the walls a lot, tore into every live prey she taught herself to catch, ripping off their heads and snapping their wings and paws. Sometimes she didn’t even eat the pigeons and rats she caught. Sometimes she just silently tore them into a pulp, then stormed away behind the bin to sleep.

Two moons passed quickly in the city, and Tessa and I were not real good at hunting. She taught me well, even when everything else about her changed. How she felt about me, how she protected and loved me, that never changed. I think I was the only sane part of her left, actually. With me there, she had a good reason to live, a bright and moral reason. To keep me safe, to give her a purpose. I was the only one who had provided that affection and loyalty she needed to function.

So when cats threatened me, Tessa started getting much more protective. She’d tear into the sneering and taunting cats with violent claws, like the birds and the pigeons. Even when a passing alleycat with skinny ribs and grey whiskers chuckled about how similar cats like us looked to eachother, it seemed to trigger a hatred in Tessa, and mercy was something neither of us were ever taught. Mother had killed before. Tessa clearly was capable. But she never let me do it, even when I began understanding the feeling of protectiveness and wanted to fight with her, she never let me.

I think now that Tessa got angry all the time because she was so much like mother, but could never make mother proud, that she felt like a lesser copy, a worthless shadow to a cat that had ruined our lives and left us to survive on our own. I think this because Tessa had been obsessed with finding her again. At first I thought she wanted to try and talk to mother, make her see how much better she had become.

I was once again wrong.

Tessa had left one night when I had fallen asleep, and when I had woken up, she had returned. She was covered in blood. Her muzzle, her paws, her chest, all red. But her eyes were so blue and bright. She didn’t move to clean herself in the puddles yet, instead looking at me and whispering her beloved secret.

“I found mother, little brother.”

I was happy for her, still too stupid at the time to connect the blood with the cold delight in my sister’s mention of mother. I merely sat up, tipped my head.

“Oh! That’s what you wanted, right? How was it? Was she nicer?”

Tessa didn’t blink for a long time, and instead she looked at me and purred excitedly.
“Oh yes. She was very cooperative. But she’s not going to be around here anymore. She’s gone.”

I started playfully rolling a piece of carrion around, wondering aloud.

“She left the city, Tessy?”

Tessa watched me with happy eyes, crouching low to join me in my fun game. Her body splattered with dark blood, and her blue eyes frozen with unexplainable emotion, she only purred.

“I guess so. She’s gone now.”



The rest of this story is rather simple. Tessa and I grow up quickly in the moons that pass. I began to understand the world more, able to hunt easily, able to make friends and defend myself and my prey. I like the she-cats, they’re real friendly and like to purr at me, but Tessa gets annoyed when the toms do the same. She doesn’t make friends. She doesn’t like other cats, and never leaves me alone for long.

I never minded. She was my sister, my best friend. I owed her everything. Sometimes I still think I do owe her still. Tessa was always there, no matter who we came across. And Tessa was tough. The other cats learned not to mess with her, and furthermore me. We were two exotic looking city cats.

Until we got bored of the filthy streets and desperate toms and she-cats craving specific affections. Side by side, Tessa and I marched towards the trees and open fields and skies of what we would later learn was the territory of the clans. It seemed other rogues like us enjoyed these lands too, and enjoyed the same violence that Tessa craved, a void unfilled even with mother gone and the city cats shaking at her paws. Tessa was insatiable for blood. Perhaps she needed a way to feel alive. But Tessa still had the light inside herself glowing just for me.

These cats were as brutal and dangerous as her, but I was never harmed. Tessa made sure of it. And as the time grew closer and the group got larger, the blood-yearning rouges were ready to bring their violence to the clans. Starting with Thunderclan.

We had conquered their stones, the towering grey rocks that were circled by rushing waters and smelly borders. The fights following would change everything in my life.

I watched her die, you know. My big sister, I watched her leap at the leader of Thunderclan with her blinding blue eyes of hollow desire and desperation to kill, to win, to be seen by someone. The fight was short though. Tessa was thrown off, she landed, but she landed wrong.

One slip was all it took to kill my big sister, a strike of her head against the rock, blood and finally stillness.

I guess I understood death, huh? Because I could feel my heart break, and I could hear my own voice break with agony. I wish I could blame Lightningstar, honestly, but he too looked regretful in his own way. And I didn’t have time to gather any blame. All I could do was stumble towards my sister and hold her in my paws. Her eyes were still a glowing blue, but they were now unseeing. She was covered in blood like she usually was, but this time she was not the victor. She was now the one unable to breathe...unable to live.

The puddles flash back when I think of the day my sister died. I remember our play puddles, and how Tessa would follow mother’s movements with a sense of hopeful pride. How she had wanted mother to just look and see that she deserved mother’s pride. How she would call me little brother, and how she said she’d never leave me to fight the monsters alone. How broken she became when mother scarred her body and her heart, and how my big sister turned every part of the world except mine red with the blood of a useless cause. In her world of red and darkness, she still had a sliver of her former soul kept safe within me. As long as I lived...there would still exist the love and kindness Tessa once had.

I buried her near the river, when I had pulled her away and fled from the battle. Those rogues were not my sister. I had nothing to give them. Nothing I wanted to give them. I blame them. They organized the fight here. They brought my sister to these rocks. They are to blame. So I never look back.

I bury Tessy near the river. We loved water, the play puddles meant the world to us. So I buried her near the water. And after that I stood there. I stood there for a long time because it was then that I began to understand almost everything. The world, the cats in the city, the neglect of mother, the emptiness in my sister, why she had saved the last good part of herself for me.

I understood then that Tessa had evil in her that broke her apart.

I understood that Tessa loved me with the fiercest part of her being. Somehow, that never changed. Tessa loved me and nobody could ever convince me otherwise.

And no matter what she did, how dark she became, how much the evil in her broken heart had consumed her, I loved her with every fiber of my being. My big sister. And I choose to remember that sliver of her that stood as my protector, my best friend and mentor. I will remember her for that.

Finally, the world opened up and everything made sense. I was able to be the one leading now. Myself, I was the one who understood where I was going now, what I could do. I traveled up the river, imagining Tessa at my side, splashing in the banks with a happy smile and a proud freedom in her heart as she watched me become something she could never become. Watch me become void of control and anger.

When I fell in that river, and was saved by Mistfall of Riverclan, I knew I understood enough, finally to make the choices of my own. I never regret it, joining Riverclan.

I’m happy here. I’m a warrior, with a new name. Mentored by the cat she saved me in the river. She’s a lot like how Tessa used to be, strong and smart and confident in me, and it makes it easier to be here. To be a part of something bigger than two abandoned kits in city streets and water drenched alleyways.

My name is Owlwhisker now. I am a Riverclan warrior, and I am finally making my own choices and living in a world that I have come to see for myself. I even mentored my own apprentice! And she’s really great! I’m happy here, and I only wished somehow Tessa could have been here with me, whole again, with bright eyes and happiness and adventure filling her steps. But I know she’s still with me, still keeps me strong. I’m still her little brother, and she will always be my big sister. And sometimes I even see her, when the night is dark and the river is misty with warmth, I see her trail through the water, her eyes inviting me to play in the puddles with her. While I doubt she knew of Starclan, or the Dark Forest, perhaps her spirit is free in this world. If it is, I only hope she’s happy, and that I’ll stand at her side again.

WILLOW YOU ARE A LIFESAVER!!!!!!
I've been trying to find redpetal and eagleheart's story for AGES! I was looking for it for Moonblazer...and i just wanted to see Scarstar and Sweetmoss's stories again

YESSSSSS WINDCLAN LOREEEEE!

*Smashes through computer to read it*

In Memory: Goldberry POV


Sometimes I still hear them. Those voices in my head, whispering their bitter and honey-sweet promises and orders. Like a leader's word, it was law.

And like law, I followed mindlessly. Watched my own body move and crouch and tense and tremble with sick relish after a splash of blood or slash of claws.

I will never forget them, the cats I...

Sprucewing, you were a friend, so honorable and humble. I know you felt you were not as strong or noticeable as other warriors, but you were wonderful just as you were. I admired you for that reason.

The pain you felt, under the claws of rats and the stench of blood, I cannot stop thinking about it. I cannot...

Talonfury, so skilled and loyal and fearless. You died as you lived, powerful and brimming with courage. You fought until your last breath. Your mate, your kits, all of them, no longer had you.

I took you from them. I was forced to watch what my body did. I fought, I tried, I wanted to break out in that moment, throw myself in just to take your place.

I idolized you alongside my own mentor and his mentor before him. I caused the slaughter of a hero.

Such a petty and pathetic action they made me do, to tear up herbs when Greencough savaged our clan and kits. I remember hearing the laughs, the snickers in my dark prison while my claws tore into catmint, feverfew, juniper...

Isn't it funny, how I can even name each herb I destroyed from memory? How wretched it was, to sit in camp while you festered and died, Onyxheart. Your mother held you. Roseleaf screamed her grief.

And in return, what did I do?

I took you from your mother. And in sickening union, Roseleaf and I replaced your one self with three new ones. That had been after the possession too. Isn't that dreadful? How weak, filthy and pathetic I was? To ruin Roseleaf enough and to desire any forgiveness I could get, to lead to us filling our voids of insanity and trauma with eachother.

Your mother will hate me every day she lives, and when she joins you in the stars, Onyxheart, she will hate me still.

I do not blame her.

I watched my body lead a kitten towards a roaring Thunderpath. I watched Smokestorm accept my gentle challenge, to cross the Thunderpath like a good Shadowclan warrior. You almost died, Smokestorm, did you realize that yet?

But you were saved by another cat I murdered through the pelts and rage of a swarm of rats.

Even with lives to spare, I had killed my own leader. Northstar saved your life after I had ripped one away from her. Each banishment brought that image back to my head. Made me unable to try and defend myself because there was no defense. The fact I wasn't killed in return was enough, wasn't it?

And Sandflower.

It is you I have the worst dreams of. It was you who I tried to kill with my own paws, brute strength rather than brain power. The only time I did my own dirty work. I led you away from camp, a trusted clan mate following you on patrol.

I dream of the terror in your eyes and the ache in your screams more often than not. Your blood drenches my soul and I cannot clean it away.

Everytime I see fear in your eyes, the eyes of one of the clan's most experienced warriors, the mother of my brother's kits, I feel my heart burn with disgust at myself, shame and misery that I stole safety from your being.

Apologies cannot clean this slate. But I will end my own life before I ever lay a paw on you, Sandflower. Before I ever lay a paw on anyone ever again.

I wonder how the cats I've killed will react if I somehow join them in the stars when I die. That I lived, had a loving mate and plenty of kits to keep my tainted blood alive within the clan of Shadows. That I was brought back from banishment twice, that I lived among the families of the cats I killed without retaliation.

That I tore Roseleaf apart and still do, that I tore a wedge between my deputy and his lover, that I am the source of permenant pain for Cardinalblaze, Quailfrost and Racoonmask.

Starclan, oh Starclan, I know deep down, they are judged for my actions. That rips me apart...

Even my new kits. Coalkit, Crystalkit, Honeykit...do they know the extent of my dark actions? Do they understand why Roseleaf bristles when she looks at them in the nursery? Why the clan looks at their father's actions with weariness?

It was trust, once. What they looked at me with.

Starclan tore the darkness from my mind and heart, but nothing could tear it from my memories. Nothing could stop the nightmares that swarm me. Even at Swirlheart's side, I fear.

I fear her dedication to me. I fear for my clan, for my kits, I fear the hatred I know many of the clan feel. I fear the pines and shadows and what lurks in them. I fear Northstar, Roseleaf, Falcontalon, what they could and should have done to me.

But above all, I fear myself with every inch of my being.

Starclan, all I have sent to you, I burn with guilt at what I was made to do. Sprucewing, Talonfury, Onyxheart, Northstar, Roseleaf, Smokestorm...my little brother, my beloved Swirlheart, my kits my kits my kits.

I fear myself

That somehow, deep down, in a dark sliver of my soul that I was forced to harbor and that was slammed into my being...

That the power of my mind and the stench of rats and blood and torn herbs...

felt good.





if I did it again?

if this darkness is still in me?

will it feel good?



I don't think I know anymore...