Post by Deleted on May 18, 2018 6:25:54 GMT -5
So I'm writing a rewritten version of Leafpool's wish. This is the scene where Leafpool is honest to Squirrelflight, that's she's pregnant. In which, her sister decides pretty quickly she'll be the one to raise the kits. Knowing that Squirrelflight quite the brash and stubborn cat, I'd thought she'd make this decision pretty quickly. So I'd like feedback, to see if you think this accurate or unbelievable to her character.
(The story is only in it's planning stages at the moment, so the scene is only in script/'beta' form.)
(The story is only in it's planning stages at the moment, so the scene is only in script/'beta' form.)
Leafpool: Do you think I should just be honest?
Squirrelflight: You can't do that! You've heard the stories from Stormfur and Feathertail. They were almost executed as apprentices for being half-clan. Stonefur even lost his life. So if it got out those kits were not only half-clan but the kits of a Medicine cat too- Their very lives could be at risk.
Leafpool: Th-then... We'll just have to say we found them abandoned.
Squirrelflight: You know what is father like. He'd never allow Thunderclan to take kits without the mother's or father's permission. He'd search the edges of the earth for those supposed 'parents'.
Leafpool: Then what else can I do? I'm rapidly running out of options here.
Squirrelflight: What else? I'll just say they're mine.
Leafpool: What?! Squirrelflight- don't be ridiculous. This is my mistake, not yours. I'm only asking for you're advice, not for you to sacrifice your entire life!
Squirrelflight: Even if you were being the silliest furball, you're still my sister. What kind of littermate would I be, to leave you alone at a time like this? But I'm not just doing this for you, I'm also doing this for the kits. They deserve the best possible life and I'll make sure they get it.
Leafpool: Don't you want your own kits, with Brambleclaw?
Squirrelflight: I'll tell him when the time is right and we can have our own litter, slightly later on. No big deal...
Leafpool: ...How are you so strong?
Squirrelflight: Because I'm the only one who can be.
Squirrelflight: You can't do that! You've heard the stories from Stormfur and Feathertail. They were almost executed as apprentices for being half-clan. Stonefur even lost his life. So if it got out those kits were not only half-clan but the kits of a Medicine cat too- Their very lives could be at risk.
Leafpool: Th-then... We'll just have to say we found them abandoned.
Squirrelflight: You know what is father like. He'd never allow Thunderclan to take kits without the mother's or father's permission. He'd search the edges of the earth for those supposed 'parents'.
Leafpool: Then what else can I do? I'm rapidly running out of options here.
Squirrelflight: What else? I'll just say they're mine.
Leafpool: What?! Squirrelflight- don't be ridiculous. This is my mistake, not yours. I'm only asking for you're advice, not for you to sacrifice your entire life!
Squirrelflight: Even if you were being the silliest furball, you're still my sister. What kind of littermate would I be, to leave you alone at a time like this? But I'm not just doing this for you, I'm also doing this for the kits. They deserve the best possible life and I'll make sure they get it.
Leafpool: Don't you want your own kits, with Brambleclaw?
Squirrelflight: I'll tell him when the time is right and we can have our own litter, slightly later on. No big deal...
Leafpool: ...How are you so strong?
Squirrelflight: Because I'm the only one who can be.