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Post by impala67 on Apr 7, 2018 20:11:53 GMT -5
I will review your OC 's! Just send one in!
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Post by mimikyutie on Apr 7, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
Is there a form or anything?
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Post by Tas on Apr 8, 2018 8:15:55 GMT -5
Mapleshade. Go.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2018 17:21:04 GMT -5
How long of a profile are you willing to review?
Becuase I do have OC profiles, but they're really long.
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Post by impala67 on Apr 8, 2018 18:54:07 GMT -5
Is there a form or anything? Just put in whatever you been important. I trust you guys not to put in five word profiles. |
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Post by impala67 on Apr 8, 2018 18:54:56 GMT -5
How long of a profile are you willing to review? Becuase I do have OC profiles, but they're really long. As long as you are willing to give. |
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Post by impala67 on Apr 8, 2018 19:20:24 GMT -5
If you just look at her from crookedstars promise, she is a pretty bad cat. But if you take the time to look at her backstory she was just doing what she thought she had to do for her kits, like any other queen. She was still insane, and what she did to crookedstar was unforgivable, but in the end she did what she did to, 'set her kits free.' Deserved the dark forest though. |
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Post by Tas on Apr 9, 2018 6:50:00 GMT -5
If you just look at her from crookedstars promise, she is a pretty bad cat. But if you take the time to look at her backstory she was just doing what she thought she had to do for her kits, like any other queen. She was still insane, and what she did to crookedstar was unforgivable, but in the end she did what she did to, 'set her kits free.' Deserved the dark forest though. She didn't "set her kits free," though. Her kits had gone to StarClan the moment they died. There's a difference between (the natural feeling of) wanting to avenge the deaths of someone you love and what Mapleshade did. Killing three cats went too far. She went completely insane and there is absolutely no excuse for what she did. Becoming a rogue and living with what's-his-name would have been fine. Killing three cats in cold blood (not to mention how many more once she went to the Dark Forest) is not. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2018 7:09:24 GMT -5
How long of a profile are you willing to review? Becuase I do have OC profiles, but they're really long. As long as you are willing to give. Well- Don't say I didn't warn you. I mean when they are long- I mean long long, multiple pages if it was a word document. Feel free to back off at any point. You can choose any out of those three: Pantherlight - Tadpole if he'd lived and was the son of Leopardstar rather then Sasha: wcrpforums.com/thread/53077/tadpole-lived-tigerstars-son (This one I'd recommend, as it's the shortest by quite a good way.) (For those, I don't even know which one the longest.) Ghostmoon - Comes from three fan-made clans: fav.me/dbs382aHazepaw - Comes from a what if Story of Snowkit surviving the hawk attack and joining Shadowclan, just as Blackstar becomes leader and tensions between Brokenstar's/Tigerstar's followers and 'Pure' Shadowclan members: wcrpforums.com/thread/52508/get-feedback-on-oc |
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Post by impala67 on Apr 9, 2018 8:02:26 GMT -5
If you just look at her from crookedstars promise, she is a pretty bad cat. But if you take the time to look at her backstory she was just doing what she thought she had to do for her kits, like any other queen. She was still insane, and what she did to crookedstar was unforgivable, but in the end she did what she did to, 'set her kits free.' Deserved the dark forest though. She didn't "set her kits free," though. Her kits had gone to StarClan the moment they died. There's a difference between (the natural feeling of) wanting to avenge the deaths of someone you love and what Mapleshade did. Killing three cats went too far. She went completely insane and there is absolutely no excuse for what she did. Becoming a rogue and living with what's-his-name would have been fine. Killing three cats in cold blood (not to mention how many more once she went to the Dark Forest) is not. She did what she thought she had to do. I get that she is insane, like I said, she deserves the dark forest. |
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Post by impala67 on Apr 9, 2018 8:39:00 GMT -5
As long as you are willing to give. Well- Don't say I didn't warn you. I mean when they are long- I mean long long, multiple pages if it was a word document. Feel free to back off at any point. You can choose any out of those three: Pantherlight - Tadpole if he'd lived and was the son of Leopardstar rather then Sasha: wcrpforums.com/thread/53077/tadpole-lived-tigerstars-son (This one I'd recommend, as it's the shortest by quite a good way.) (For those, I don't even know which one the longest.) Ghostmoon - Comes from three fan-made clans: fav.me/dbs382aHazepaw - Comes from a what if Story of Snowkit surviving the hawk attack and joining Shadowclan, just as Blackstar becomes leader and tensions between Brokenstar's/Tigerstar's followers and 'Pure' Shadowclan members: wcrpforums.com/thread/52508/get-feedback-on-oc Panther--: Good job! At least in my opinion, I really like how you took into account that hawkfrost and Mothwing actually exist. I've read some tadpoles fics and they seem to leave out most of his family. i think that it's interesting that he joined windclan, I never would have thought of that, and the way you put him in the Fox trap part, brilliant! Hazelpaw: dude, you should write a book about this! I love the idea of an evil medicine cat, I don't see that often and I wish I did. She is a GREAT villain. She is very crafty and good last staging a death, which I like. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2018 8:45:16 GMT -5
Well- Don't say I didn't warn you. I mean when they are long- I mean long long, multiple pages if it was a word document. Feel free to back off at any point. You can choose any out of those three: Pantherlight - Tadpole if he'd lived and was the son of Leopardstar rather then Sasha: wcrpforums.com/thread/53077/tadpole-lived-tigerstars-son (This one I'd recommend, as it's the shortest by quite a good way.) (For those, I don't even know which one the longest.) Ghostmoon - Comes from three fan-made clans: fav.me/dbs382aHazepaw - Comes from a what if Story of Snowkit surviving the hawk attack and joining Shadowclan, just as Blackstar becomes leader and tensions between Brokenstar's/Tigerstar's followers and 'Pure' Shadowclan members: wcrpforums.com/thread/52508/get-feedback-on-oc Panther--: Good job! At least in my opinion, I really like how you took into account that hawkfrost and Mothwing actually exist. I've read some tadpoles fics and they seem to leave out most of his family. i think that it's interesting that he joined windclan, I never would have thought of that, and the way you put him in the Fox trap part, brilliant! Hazelpaw: dude, you should write a book about this! I love the idea of an evil medicine cat, I don't see that often and I wish I did. She is a GREAT villain. She is very crafty and good last staging a death, which I like. Thank for you the feedback! Is it possible I could get a little more input on Hazepaw's relationship with Snowtuft as it's meant to be the whole focus of the story. Also are Pantherlight and Hazepaw's motives to turning 'villain' believable? |
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Post by mothsnap on Apr 9, 2018 8:52:43 GMT -5
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Post by impala67 on Apr 9, 2018 9:56:21 GMT -5
Mellowix: yes, very believable. Anyone can turn bad if they believe what they are doing is good.
I do like how you put snowtuft in this, sorta sad that he turned bad, but I like it. Interesting how he was so easily swayed to the dark side. Hazel law must be quite the charmer.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2018 10:16:29 GMT -5
Mellowix: yes, very believable. Anyone can turn bad if they believe what they are doing is good. I do like how you put snowtuft in this, sorta sad that he turned bad, but I like it. Interesting how he was so easily swayed to the dark side. Hazel law must be quite the charmer. I mean that is the entire point of this version of his character, being very weak-minded, dependent and fiercely loyal to specific cats. So when the cat he becomes dependent/loyal to is someone like Hazepaw, he's too emotionally weak to escape. Also what didn't help was Brokenstar/Tigerstar's followers still around, when he's hearing all those story of kit-murdering tyrants, Hazepaw doesn't seem that bad by comparison. (At first at least) |
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Post by impala67 on Apr 9, 2018 10:27:57 GMT -5
Aww! This has to be the sweetest warrior EVER. I love this little guy, most people focus on making their cat the strongest, or smartest, but you made a cat that is sweet and gullible. And most important, he's original. Name's cute too, I think it's adorable that he has a little garden too. |
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Post by mothsnap on Apr 9, 2018 10:41:12 GMT -5
@ligteningflame yes I am very gullible and whenever I see a really smart character who’s sort of an a**, but everything comes easily to them, I get a bit jealous of their smarts and don’t enjoy the story as much. I really like a simple, genuine protagonist best.
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Post by mothsnap on Apr 9, 2018 11:11:26 GMT -5
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#FF55A3
Name Colour
Apricity
Bravelands is too slept on.
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Post by Apricity on Apr 9, 2018 17:39:38 GMT -5
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Post by impala67 on Apr 11, 2018 20:34:26 GMT -5
Very well rounded cat, she kinda sounds like me... I really have to get around to reading your book. I love how none of your characters are the same, (I read some of your other ocs.) And this one is a winner. I don't think there has (in the books) been a particularly lazy clanborn cat, so that is cool. You're good with names too! |
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Post by mothsnap on Apr 11, 2018 20:48:12 GMT -5
impala67thank you so much! i takes me so long to finish a chapter because I'm treating it like a real book in terms of length and effort. I really want to improve on a lot of things I think are missing in canon. If you read it I'd be super grateful!
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Post by impala67 on Apr 11, 2018 20:52:54 GMT -5
Sounds like my type of cat! I think you did a good job with personality, and nice backstory. |
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