#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Mar 31, 2018 16:02:55 GMT -5
I've seen that this book is sort of mixed within the fandom, so I'm interested to see what sort of changes you'd make to the story.
First off, I for one would keep things consistent with Path of Stars and Code of the Clans, so there's little to no tension between the Clans yet.
Instead of Micah, Moth Flight's love interest would be Sun Shadow; not only does this actually make his existence relevant, but it would also help explain why WindClan and ShadowClan have never gotten along—because Sun Shadow died (be it directly or otherwise) thanks to a WindClan cat. However, he'd probably live long enough to get to know his kits with Moth Flight before going to StarClan.
Spotted Fur would only see Moth Flight as a friend and vice versa.
Dust Muzzle would have more prominence in the story.
Micah would still be in it and become SkyClan's first medicine cat, but he'd just be more like a best friend to Moth Flight.
ThunderClan's rivalry with RiverClan would also be brought up, or at the very least foreshadowed within the story.
The SE would also probably resemble the modern Clans a little more by the end of it in terms of structure, like apprentice and warrior ceremonies.
As for the villain, there either wouldn't actually be one, or it'd just be Slash coming back for revenge.
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Post by Brindlefern on Mar 31, 2018 16:08:25 GMT -5
Change the reason why the Medicine Cat's "No Kits/Mate" rule was established. The Erins could've easily expanded on Leafpool's scenario from TNP where she was struggling to contact Starclan because of her having a mate and imminent kits, and have that happen to Moth Flight when it came to her kits, rather than the asinine reason they used that was basically being "lolIt's too hard", which I call BS on that. The rule pretty much as it stands only applicable to her.
I' have no issue with with roles requiring celibacy, but if there's gonna be a rule requiring it I want it to be done and explained right.
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Post by Fernstep on Mar 31, 2018 16:35:59 GMT -5
I personally thought Moth Flight's Vision was a great book. I would just update it so that Clear Sky was, uh, consistent with end-of-DotC Clear Sky, since his strange mix of fair leadership with harsh aggressiveness makes it quite clear that MFV was written before Kate had really decided how Clear Sky's personality would end up in DotC.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Mar 31, 2018 16:54:50 GMT -5
Change the reason why the Medicine Cat's "No Kits/Mate" rule was established. The Erins could've easily expanded on Leafpool's scenario from TNP where she was struggling to contact Starclan because of her having a mate and imminent kits, and have that happen to Moth Flight when it came to her kits, rather than the asinine reason they used that was basically being "lolIt's too hard", which I call BS on that. The rule pretty much as it stands only applicable to her. I' have no issue with with roles requiring celibacy, but if there's gonna be a rule requiring it I want it to be done and explained right.I personally never minded the canon reason, but this is still something that's been on my mind pretty much ever since I first read MFV. Not to mention that Moth Flight was always prone to distraction anyway, and has been confirmed to have had ADD. It really does make me wonder what would've happened had, say, Dappled Pelt or Acorn Fur had been in her position instead. Simply having the medicine cats not being able to talk with StarClan anymore—or at least not as much as they used to—if they ever had a mate and kits would've been a great explanation for why this rule exists, although Leafpool was able to speak to StarClan plenty of times (she even mentions Spottedleaf talking to her in The Forgotten Warrior, so this part would probably have to go away for it to make sense, or just have her communication with StarClan be temporary, specifically while she's a mentor. It would've been interesting to have her struggle with this.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Mar 31, 2018 16:55:05 GMT -5
I personally thought Moth Flight's Vision was a great book. I would just update it so that Clear Sky was, uh, consistent with end-of-DotC Clear Sky, since his strange mix of fair leadership with harsh aggressiveness makes it quite clear that MFV was written before Kate had really decided how Clear Sky's personality would end up in DotC. I agree. I honestly would've enjoyed the book alot more had it just been more consistent, especially with Skystar. It's why I just found the book to be okay.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Apr 6, 2018 12:31:26 GMT -5
Bump
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2018 13:24:08 GMT -5
I've got two changes I'd probably bring:
The first would be Moth Flight's reason for the "no medicine cats having mates or kits" rule. Micah had already died not long after the medicine cats came to be, and Moth Flight would be worried about losing anyone else close to her. I think that's when it comes after Wind Runner's close call from death, and Moth Flight would think of what would happen if it wasn't just her mate or her mom who would die, but maybe also her kits...or something like that.
The second would be Clear Sky's behavior. Instead of being a jerk in some of Moth Flight's Vision, he'd be, well...not a jerk.
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