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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 29, 2022 1:39:51 GMT -5
Thanks, that really does mean a lot. I just feel so utterly lost and alone. My usual MO when presented with a problem is to come at it from all sides. We have the side where he lives and is just fine covered - between taking out a loan and cashing in part of my retirement, We have the medical bills and his missing income from the past 2 months covered. My brain now wants to dissect the other side of this, and has run numbers both to see if I could afford to keep my home (I can't) or if it would be beneficial to move back to NC, which is initially more financially stable, except that I would be moving out there without a job. I can't even really talk to my mom about this, because all she hears is "Turin might be moving back home!" and I just don't think she can be neutral and hear all sides of it. I even found this old house in Virginia in this tiny little town that I have considered moving to and starting over somewhere neutral, but again, the job thing comes into play. I just don't know what's coming, and I HATE that feeling. That's what stressed me out the worst over the past few weeks - it was all a big waiting game for them to explain what exactly he has, how bad it is, and how to treat it. Technically we're still in a waiting game, because Tuesday they did a CAT scan to find out if the cancer is just stage 3, or if it's spread and becomes a stage 4, and we won't know those results until Monday. I really hope that the results come back as just stage 3 and it can be curable, but I know you've said before your husband's health already wasn't great as it is so I can imagine even if it is only stage 3 it's really doing a number on him. I know I never actually got to meet him when you guys came out this way but I still feel for him & you very much. It was actually because of the surgery he had in March that they found the cancer, because he is showing no physical signs of it otherwise. They were removing a blockage in his intestine, and were doing it laparoscopically, but 90% of the way into the surgery things went wrong and he started bleeding out, so they had to cut him open. Because they cut him open, they were able to remove the blockage and 2 of the lymph nodes for testing - the blockage and one of the lymph nodes came back positive. Had the surgery went well, we might not have caught this until it was too late.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 1:48:50 GMT -5
I really hope that the results come back as just stage 3 and it can be curable, but I know you've said before your husband's health already wasn't great as it is so I can imagine even if it is only stage 3 it's really doing a number on him. I know I never actually got to meet him when you guys came out this way but I still feel for him & you very much. It was actually because of the surgery he had in March that they found the cancer, because he is showing no physical signs of it otherwise. They were removing a blockage in his intestine, and were doing it laparoscopically, but 90% of the way into the surgery things went wrong and he started bleeding out, so they had to cut him open. Because they cut him open, they were able to remove the blockage and 2 of the lymph nodes for testing - the blockage and one of the lymph nodes came back positive. Had the surgery went well, we might not have caught this until it was too late. That is a bizarre series of events. I do remember you filling me in on the surgery though. Which sounded rough enough as it is. Is he healing well at least?
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 29, 2022 1:56:27 GMT -5
It was actually because of the surgery he had in March that they found the cancer, because he is showing no physical signs of it otherwise. They were removing a blockage in his intestine, and were doing it laparoscopically, but 90% of the way into the surgery things went wrong and he started bleeding out, so they had to cut him open. Because they cut him open, they were able to remove the blockage and 2 of the lymph nodes for testing - the blockage and one of the lymph nodes came back positive. Had the surgery went well, we might not have caught this until it was too late. That is a bizarre series of events. I do remember you filling me in on the surgery though. Which sounded rough enough as it is. Is he healing well at least? He had healed well enough that he was supposed to go back to work Tuesday (he wouldn't have been able to lift furniture or anything, but his normal area is Pharmacy/HBA so he would've been fine), however, he had to get his port surgically implanted Monday, and he can't lift anything with his dominant arm over 5 pounds for a week, so that pushed his return date back, then Mon-Wed will be chemo (he goes in for the big infusion on Monday, but one of the drugs needs to be administered slowly over 48 hours, hence the port) so that will likely push it back until possibly Wed, more likely Thurs. He feels decent, he just can't run the risk of going back to work with restrictions and something happens and he gets hurt, because if he loses his job, he loses his medical insurance, and then we are really screwed.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 2:10:00 GMT -5
Liked bc I read it I just don't know what to say lol.
I took a nap earlier, and I was very much awake, but now I'm kinda crashing again and not as awake as I thought I was going to be an hour ago.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 29, 2022 2:10:46 GMT -5
Anyway, it's time for me to start running the audit now. Thank you for talking to me - it really did help some. I know we haven't talked a whole lot recently, but you know I love you, and I appreciate you always being there to listen even though I know you are going through a lot yourself. If you ever need me as well, don't hesitate to reach out.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 29, 2022 2:12:21 GMT -5
No worries! I could do with a nap myself right now, but I'm pretty sure my bosses are against that. Goodnight!
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 2:15:04 GMT -5
Good luck! I feel like I actually haven't been going through as much anymore. After my grandma passed away things are... finally quiet around here.
The only mild amount of drama I have is that- David's siblings got their hair dyed, and now he's bothering his mom to get his hair dyed pink and she told me about it. She was trying to convince him to get a different color, but I told her she should let him get pink purely because it would piss my mom off the most and it is the color he asked for.
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Post by Riverstream [hiatus] on Apr 29, 2022 2:23:26 GMT -5
I came here purely because of the word pretzel, ... but hi, i guess...
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 2:25:44 GMT -5
Welcome! Glad to see more new people.
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Post by Riverstream [hiatus] on Apr 29, 2022 2:28:18 GMT -5
I can tell already that this is a safe place for my feelings
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 13:52:09 GMT -5
I hope so. :3
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 29, 2022 17:27:30 GMT -5
Peanut-butter filled pretzels can be found in this chat room. that ruins everything, i'm leaving
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Post by Riverstream [hiatus] on Apr 29, 2022 17:44:45 GMT -5
I've never had peanut butter filled pretzels, but I like peanut butter so I would probably like it
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 0:25:21 GMT -5
Leapkit It's hard for me to picture David as anything but a baby, but I guess he is old enough to request that kind of stuff now... How old are his other siblings? Cloudstorm I've never heard of peanut butter FILLED pretzels before! Riverstream [hiatus] Welcome!
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 0:32:57 GMT -5
I think the girls are 8 and 10 now? I could be wrong though. But yep. He's nearly 5.
I don't really know much about them, they came along with her a few times for visits or dropping him off/picking him up. One of them thinks I'm cool, the other one calls me weird. Duality of man (girl?)
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 0:35:16 GMT -5
You have visitation with him?
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 0:41:31 GMT -5
Always have, it's never been a problem between us and her, she's always been on good terms with us. The court never had to get involved on our account. We can see him whenever we want to.
My parents on the other hand, fought and fought and were so nasty, they only see him once a month for 2 days, and no more than that. But even that might be revoked soon because he literally hates going over there and is miserable so she is thinking about getting it re-assesed because now he can speak for himself and she doesn't like seeing him come home distressed. Which I don't either. If he doesn't want to go, he shouldn't have to.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 0:44:56 GMT -5
I fully agree if a child has a visible negative reaction to going somewhere he shouldn't be forced into that kind of distress for the adult's greedy sake.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 0:48:58 GMT -5
I try not to think about it too much and hope whatever damage they've done is reversible or he will be able to forget it entirely when he is older.
Honestly, I think he is just a little bit spoiled. But at the same time that makes me happy to know. I'd rather a spoiled, happy, healthy child rather than knowing a child went through the same things I had to go through. Abuse doesn't make anyone stronger.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 0:51:32 GMT -5
Hows work been?
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 1:15:47 GMT -5
Especially if they get the visitation changed, he should forget most of it by the time he's an adult.
Work is fine, ever since they replaced all of the management things are back to being nice and calm. There's no way I would've been able to handle work the way it was with my current home life, so it was kinda like God just decided one day, "I'm about to make your home life REALLY hard, so let me just fix that work stuff really quick" and in less than 24 hours, it was like a whole different company. I'm definitely not part of the "in crowd" here anymore (all of the new management as well as the new staff they brought with them are Hispanic, and speak to each other in Spanish so I rarely know what they are saying), but they are leaving me alone, which is all I ever wanted.
How are your cats?
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 1:19:58 GMT -5
I've heard of peanut butter COATED pretzels, just never heard of peanut butter FILLED pretzels
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 1:21:14 GMT -5
Idk if I hold any sort of specific beliefs anymore but it's situations like that that make me continue to wonder. Life finds a way to always give you what you need, even if it's not what you want and only by the barest skin of your teeth.
The cats are fine. Willie had something stuck in his eye earlier so we had to hold him down and flush it out with water. Which he was NOT happy with, but he is okay now. But I think he figured out what we did after the thing washed out of his eye because after the initial shock of it he started purring.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 1:22:19 GMT -5
Oh i have, I just hate peanut butter. I also have no idea who the people you listed off are either other than robin williams lmao.
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Post by Leapkit on Apr 30, 2022 1:25:26 GMT -5
I don't get peanut butter the same way the people in the other thread don't get bacon. Its just sticky and gross, and adding it to other stuff makes whatever it is added to worse.
I think the only thing I don't mind peanut butter in is peanut butter cookies or a pb&j sandwich.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 1:25:49 GMT -5
between the miraculous change of work at just the right time and the fact that if my husband's surgery hadn't gone sideways they wouldn't have even found the cancer, you can't help but wonder if someone/thing is controlling our lives
I'm glad Willie realized to be grateful! I clipped the cat's claws Tuesday, and for the first time, Pandora had a problem with it, and now my hand is completely shredded.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Apr 30, 2022 1:27:41 GMT -5
I like peanut butter as a sandwich (not a fan of jelly), and I like it in reese's cups, but that's about it.
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