Post by wadevvilson on Jan 23, 2018 1:45:41 GMT -5
[Like I said, it felt weird to just make a collective oneshot dump again what with how lengthy of pieces I tend to write. Plus, it's finals week, so here's a treat from me if you enjoy my writing. Once again mirrored from my deviantART. These two's dymanic has to break apart someday, and I am appropriately distraught at the thought. I've enjoyed watching them both grow as characters over the years.]
"Having trouble swallowing today, I take it?" The pale tabby leader sat down on the riverbank with her head slightly tilted to the side, neatly curling her tail around her paws. There was no glimmer of humor, no kindly light in her amber gaze. Nor was there any other hint of deeper emotion, merely casual indifference; as was the norm for Featherstar. She lifted a forepaw, and rasped her tongue gently over the pad as she waited for his response.
He'd been rolling his eyes from the moment he'd scented her heading in his direction, and he made a point of looking up to meet the RapidClan leader's cold gaze at an agonizingly slow pace, water streaming from his half-open jaw. Duncan shut his mouth with a rough snap and swallowed with some difficulty, misaligned teeth clacking faintly against each other. Not much of a drink. To him, Featherstar's hidden meaning was as clear as day: 'It is your job to scout our enemies for me, so you better have accomplished something within these past months. If not, then you will be punished accordingly.' He made it a point to straighten up and yawn in her face. "Your answer is 'no', if you're dumb enough to not have already figured that out. And I think it's gonna stay that way for a while, toots. Don't you think that if anything at all happened, everyone else would be losing their [] minds and running around in a panic? Of course," he snorted in amusement as he said this, "what with how you don't even have a genuine interest in Ravenspots, literally any of your own children, or even just any cat in this entire damned Clan barring myself, I doubt that you would have noticed something being out of the ordinary even if the sky was on fire and everything was burning down around you." Duncan grinned lazily, flopping down on the ground with a grunt of pain. "Surprised you even make an effort to remember your brother's name, let alone Princess's. And [], they're your own mother. I'd say that if you're that obsessed with someone, might as well give it up and screw 'em, but that'd be pretty weird considering I'm mates with your ma. And I don't particularly find that prospect appealing in the first place," he muttered the last few words, grimacing in disgust.
Featherstar's hackles rose slightly, but her tone remained as neutral as ever. "Perhaps I am stupider than I originally thought, given that I am choosing to associate myself with the likes of you. But you are simply scavenger's fodder, and you are of some use to me despite the fact that you are completely unwilling to do anything useful for this Clan as a whole. However, I suppose you are right that people would be causing a commotion if drastic things were to happen. I will give you that win, but nothing further." The Oriental Shorthair mix's eyes narrowed. "I care deeply for Ravenspots," she stated flatly. "His being my deputy is beneficial to RapidClan; he does his job without being told, and keeps the kill pile full. He has brought fresh blood into the Clan, in the form of our children. The ones who are still living are strong and healthy. Meanwhile, Birchfang has never given me a reason to feel strongly towards his existence. We were never close as children, and I see no reason to spend valuable time building up our relationship. My littermate is perfectly happy busying himself with fussing over his daughters." Featherstar chose not to comment on the rest of her stepfather's jibe for the time being.
"By that logic, you 'care' about everybody around these parts," Duncan snarked, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again. "Somebody being useful to you doesn't equate to actual endearment. Stop pretending. For example, d'ya really think that I give a rat's tail about half the people I've slept with in my life? No. They were there to provide a service, and I didn't see our relationships as more than that. Most of them viewed that whole situation the same way, in fact. And, in his own way, Ravenspots loves you. The guy would move entire mountain ranges for you if he could only figure out how. I'm not sure what on Earth he sees in you, but it's obvious that he truly cares about and fawns over you. Must hurt him deep down to see that you don't care about him as a person at all. Not that I'm particularly sympathetic to his case, but still. Makes me wonder why you two are still calling yourselves mates."
Featherstar shifted in discomfort. Other than the fact that Duncan had the gall to exist in close proximity to her, few things got under her skin. "Well," she began, "that analysis of my character is admittedly more accurate than I thought it was going to be. I was never gifted at tuning in to the emotions of other cats; I never found it worth the time to hone that ability, either. And my mate is more attached to me than I am to him, that is true. I imagine that people could view our partnership as my simply 'stringing him along', so to speak, and if not for the fact that it has a small chance of impacting his productivity severely, we would no longer be a pair. It is clear even to me that he has absolutely no ambition in life, and though he works well with others, Ravenspots has never aspired to lead this Clan. If not for my personally offering to make him my deputy, generously offering him a political advantage in the form of a high rank and two litters worth of children...I suspect that he would have done nothing, and withered away within the ranks of warriors past to be ultimately forgotten. I am not even sure whether he would have joined this Clan in the first place if not for my own actions." RapidClan's leader let out a long sigh, shaking her head. "A shame, such good stock ultimately wasted."
"Convince him to retire if you're that depressed over it," he deadpanned, chasing after a sudden train of thought. "None of us are getting any younger here, and I don't think he'd object to a rest. If you ask me, or just about anyone else here, the only reason that he's been holding out is because of you. You've been leader for what, most of your life? And he's stood besides you without fail for that long." Duncan's gaze could have been considered sympathetic had one not known his views on the current authority. "I don't think anyone wants to admit that they're old, Clan cat or otherwise. Choose a new deputy, since you're so intent on ruling 'till your last breath." Duncan punctuated this with a shrug of his bony shoulders. "I ain't gonna help with that last thing, if you're seriously expecting me to. Whole point of being a leader or a deputy or a medicine cat's to know your own cats, yeah? Everyone's supposed to be one big happy family and all that."
She simply nodded as he spoke, far too stubborn to give him any real credit for the plan. "It is true that I can barely remember a time before I led, nor can I recall a time when he was not besides me without significant effort on my part." The thought of Applestar passed between the two elderly cats, unspoken. Featherstar had never known her half-sister on a personal level, but even she had disapproved of the sheer chaos that the pale ginger and white bicolor's reign had caused. Duncan had at least some level of deeper attachment to the previous leader, considering that it had been him who had contributed to her initial creation, but the truth was that no one had ever really understood Applestar on a personal level. The queen had been far too secretive, driven by madness and a thirst for blood. "Frankly...I did not expect anyone to help with my decisions." That was a clear lie, there had been a lot on her mind lately and she had been far too busy to entertain the thought of allowing another cat to take Ravenspots's place as her right hand. "But, very well. For once, I will think over this suggestion. In fact, perhaps it is time for many of us to step down." To be quite honest, Featherstar did not see any kind of alternate future for herself. She would die a few more times, yes, and then ascend to be with her ancestors, but she had not given a second thought to something such as retiring and living out the rest of her life in relative peace as an elder; although, Ravenspots had privately begged many a time. All she knew was the path that so many leaders before her had taken. There was death, after death, after death. "And this includes you, Duncan. With your personal output, you would be better off either lying dead in the wilderness somewhere or living as an elder. And regrettably, I still owe you some sort of concrete debt for saving my life all those years ago. Consider this proposal a show of gratitude."
Duncan scoffed wearily. "Nice offer, but I'll quit my 'day job' when Princess does. Other than my kids, Izanagi, and Bearclaw, they're the only reason I'm still sticking around this place. Besides, if everyone retires, you'll lose over half your warriors. People like Snow-whisker and Petalclaw can't run an entire Clan by themselves, nor would they ever have a hope of learning how unless some freak miracle happened. Some of these cats just don't want to gain the experience, they're fine with living and dying as simple warriors."
"I have never understood your relationship with my mother," she commented. "You two are clearly bonded at the level of souls, yet you have been less than faithful. You have treated Hawktalon as though they were less than dirt at times, yet it is clear that they would fling themselves headfirst off a cliff for you without a moment's pause. When I was young, some nursing queens ventured to explain love to my brother and I. Needless to say, they described the act as something far less complicated than...whatever the mess that you have created is." Featherstar frowned. "I am still not quite sure how to describe it, and now you have entered my uncle into the mix. You weave a tangled web, Duncan. On some level, I might even call it respectable that you've gone to all this trouble. It takes energy and a significant amount of dedication to disrupt the natural order this much," she chuckled dryly, and it was a bit of an artificial sound. "And I will heartily agree that few in this Clan have natural leadership qualities. It would not be worth the time to invest in a cat who does not care where they end up in the realm of politics, and I will say that I have my regrets."
Once again, Duncan shrugged. "Well, that's my regret. I ain't a good person for them; never have been. Don't really know what other people see in me besides a quick [], pretty-boy looks, and something other than a pea-sized brain. But, Hawk saw something worth caring about in me. Still does, actually. Others did, too."
"If it comforts you, I still do not see much worth salvaging in your ravaged, stained shell of a body." Featherstar replied, tilting her head to look up at the sky. "...I must wonder. Will my successor be better, or worse than myself? Surely, I have been a better leader than Applestar was," she mused more to herself than to Duncan, shuddering involuntarily as she uttered her predecessor's name. Her kin had caused pain, destruction. The vaguest whisper of the name sent shivers down the spines of every RapidClan cat who had lived through Applestar's tyrannical reign. Parents were forbidden to name their newborn children Applekit, and alternatives were always suggested. "I suppose that, on some level, I will never truly know the answer to that question. Very few StarClan cats can afford to monitor the living so closely nowadays."
In a tone far more hushed than normal, he cut into her monologue. "Do you ever dream of her? I do." Duncan joined her in staring into the wide expanse of the blue sky, eyes narrowing at the clouds above. "I don't doubt that Princess does."
"Sometimes," she answered without skipping a beat. There was a long pause before she spoke again. "It is mainly just visions. Fields covered in blood, the wails of the dying in the background. And there is her in the midst of it all, pelt oddly pristine in a slew of carnage. Sometimes it is a dream of her last life slipping away, and I am watching from a distance as she nearly coughs up a lung, then stills, white chest heaving a final time before she is banished from the world." Featherstar was no longer truly seeing what was in front of her, her amber eyes glassy. "...She was at my leader ceremony. She did not speak, just touched her nose to my head. All the other spirits avoided her, as though one could become infected by her madness just by being in her presence."
Duncan closed his eyes. "I'll admit I don't remember much of her earlier years, given that I wasn't there at times. Can chalk that up to being afraid, though not of four tiny kittens. Not entirely. I know that you've never felt this at any point in your life, but when those kids were born, I felt something new, something different, stirring in this old heart. 'Course, I was terrified. I'd had kids before, sure, but when your firstborn children and then some are products of repeated [] it just ain't the same. I ran. I kept running, thinking that if I got far enough away then my problems wouldn't matter anymore. Evidently, I was horrendously wrong, but," he paused a moment to shift his position on the ground beneath him. "Couldn't control how she turned out, though part of me is stupid enough to think that if only I had been there more often, things could have been different. I regret having the mental capacity to realize that I played a part in the making of a tyrant, though."
"When I was younger, I admired her. I am not sure if you could call it 'love', but I respected her a great deal. There were periods when she was calmer, more composed." Featherstar blinked slowly. "Despite being older than her by years, I looked up to her for a short time. Thinking back on it, I believe she exploited that. Molded me into her deputy, murdered the ones who were unfit to succeed her. She was certainly an interesting creature."
"Wouldn't surprise me. Kid had to get that intelligence and skill from somewhere," he said, nearly choking on the words. "She was too smart for her own good, and that ended up being detrimental in the end. Twisted her in some way that couldn't be fixed. She was always more like me than her mother, y'know?"
"At times, I miss her. Odd as that is to admit." Featherstar murmured. "She played a significant part in the lives of many cats...and she ended many lives, as well. She was not an honorable cat in the least, though I wonder how she viewed herself in her final moments. Did she have any sort of clarity? Or did she die believing that what she had done was the right thing?"
"Who knows." Duncan echoed faintly. "My daughter was a memorable one, and as much as everyone tries to forget her I think that she'll still linger in some way. It wouldn't be like her, to just leave without a trace."
"No," she agreed. "It wouldn't be." The tabby leader sat for a while, watching as the sky slowly darkened and the day faded into night. She kept one eye on her stepfather as he slumbered besides her, having exhausted his appropriate conversation topics long ago.
"Having trouble swallowing today, I take it?" The pale tabby leader sat down on the riverbank with her head slightly tilted to the side, neatly curling her tail around her paws. There was no glimmer of humor, no kindly light in her amber gaze. Nor was there any other hint of deeper emotion, merely casual indifference; as was the norm for Featherstar. She lifted a forepaw, and rasped her tongue gently over the pad as she waited for his response.
He'd been rolling his eyes from the moment he'd scented her heading in his direction, and he made a point of looking up to meet the RapidClan leader's cold gaze at an agonizingly slow pace, water streaming from his half-open jaw. Duncan shut his mouth with a rough snap and swallowed with some difficulty, misaligned teeth clacking faintly against each other. Not much of a drink. To him, Featherstar's hidden meaning was as clear as day: 'It is your job to scout our enemies for me, so you better have accomplished something within these past months. If not, then you will be punished accordingly.' He made it a point to straighten up and yawn in her face. "Your answer is 'no', if you're dumb enough to not have already figured that out. And I think it's gonna stay that way for a while, toots. Don't you think that if anything at all happened, everyone else would be losing their [] minds and running around in a panic? Of course," he snorted in amusement as he said this, "what with how you don't even have a genuine interest in Ravenspots, literally any of your own children, or even just any cat in this entire damned Clan barring myself, I doubt that you would have noticed something being out of the ordinary even if the sky was on fire and everything was burning down around you." Duncan grinned lazily, flopping down on the ground with a grunt of pain. "Surprised you even make an effort to remember your brother's name, let alone Princess's. And [], they're your own mother. I'd say that if you're that obsessed with someone, might as well give it up and screw 'em, but that'd be pretty weird considering I'm mates with your ma. And I don't particularly find that prospect appealing in the first place," he muttered the last few words, grimacing in disgust.
Featherstar's hackles rose slightly, but her tone remained as neutral as ever. "Perhaps I am stupider than I originally thought, given that I am choosing to associate myself with the likes of you. But you are simply scavenger's fodder, and you are of some use to me despite the fact that you are completely unwilling to do anything useful for this Clan as a whole. However, I suppose you are right that people would be causing a commotion if drastic things were to happen. I will give you that win, but nothing further." The Oriental Shorthair mix's eyes narrowed. "I care deeply for Ravenspots," she stated flatly. "His being my deputy is beneficial to RapidClan; he does his job without being told, and keeps the kill pile full. He has brought fresh blood into the Clan, in the form of our children. The ones who are still living are strong and healthy. Meanwhile, Birchfang has never given me a reason to feel strongly towards his existence. We were never close as children, and I see no reason to spend valuable time building up our relationship. My littermate is perfectly happy busying himself with fussing over his daughters." Featherstar chose not to comment on the rest of her stepfather's jibe for the time being.
"By that logic, you 'care' about everybody around these parts," Duncan snarked, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again. "Somebody being useful to you doesn't equate to actual endearment. Stop pretending. For example, d'ya really think that I give a rat's tail about half the people I've slept with in my life? No. They were there to provide a service, and I didn't see our relationships as more than that. Most of them viewed that whole situation the same way, in fact. And, in his own way, Ravenspots loves you. The guy would move entire mountain ranges for you if he could only figure out how. I'm not sure what on Earth he sees in you, but it's obvious that he truly cares about and fawns over you. Must hurt him deep down to see that you don't care about him as a person at all. Not that I'm particularly sympathetic to his case, but still. Makes me wonder why you two are still calling yourselves mates."
Featherstar shifted in discomfort. Other than the fact that Duncan had the gall to exist in close proximity to her, few things got under her skin. "Well," she began, "that analysis of my character is admittedly more accurate than I thought it was going to be. I was never gifted at tuning in to the emotions of other cats; I never found it worth the time to hone that ability, either. And my mate is more attached to me than I am to him, that is true. I imagine that people could view our partnership as my simply 'stringing him along', so to speak, and if not for the fact that it has a small chance of impacting his productivity severely, we would no longer be a pair. It is clear even to me that he has absolutely no ambition in life, and though he works well with others, Ravenspots has never aspired to lead this Clan. If not for my personally offering to make him my deputy, generously offering him a political advantage in the form of a high rank and two litters worth of children...I suspect that he would have done nothing, and withered away within the ranks of warriors past to be ultimately forgotten. I am not even sure whether he would have joined this Clan in the first place if not for my own actions." RapidClan's leader let out a long sigh, shaking her head. "A shame, such good stock ultimately wasted."
"Convince him to retire if you're that depressed over it," he deadpanned, chasing after a sudden train of thought. "None of us are getting any younger here, and I don't think he'd object to a rest. If you ask me, or just about anyone else here, the only reason that he's been holding out is because of you. You've been leader for what, most of your life? And he's stood besides you without fail for that long." Duncan's gaze could have been considered sympathetic had one not known his views on the current authority. "I don't think anyone wants to admit that they're old, Clan cat or otherwise. Choose a new deputy, since you're so intent on ruling 'till your last breath." Duncan punctuated this with a shrug of his bony shoulders. "I ain't gonna help with that last thing, if you're seriously expecting me to. Whole point of being a leader or a deputy or a medicine cat's to know your own cats, yeah? Everyone's supposed to be one big happy family and all that."
She simply nodded as he spoke, far too stubborn to give him any real credit for the plan. "It is true that I can barely remember a time before I led, nor can I recall a time when he was not besides me without significant effort on my part." The thought of Applestar passed between the two elderly cats, unspoken. Featherstar had never known her half-sister on a personal level, but even she had disapproved of the sheer chaos that the pale ginger and white bicolor's reign had caused. Duncan had at least some level of deeper attachment to the previous leader, considering that it had been him who had contributed to her initial creation, but the truth was that no one had ever really understood Applestar on a personal level. The queen had been far too secretive, driven by madness and a thirst for blood. "Frankly...I did not expect anyone to help with my decisions." That was a clear lie, there had been a lot on her mind lately and she had been far too busy to entertain the thought of allowing another cat to take Ravenspots's place as her right hand. "But, very well. For once, I will think over this suggestion. In fact, perhaps it is time for many of us to step down." To be quite honest, Featherstar did not see any kind of alternate future for herself. She would die a few more times, yes, and then ascend to be with her ancestors, but she had not given a second thought to something such as retiring and living out the rest of her life in relative peace as an elder; although, Ravenspots had privately begged many a time. All she knew was the path that so many leaders before her had taken. There was death, after death, after death. "And this includes you, Duncan. With your personal output, you would be better off either lying dead in the wilderness somewhere or living as an elder. And regrettably, I still owe you some sort of concrete debt for saving my life all those years ago. Consider this proposal a show of gratitude."
Duncan scoffed wearily. "Nice offer, but I'll quit my 'day job' when Princess does. Other than my kids, Izanagi, and Bearclaw, they're the only reason I'm still sticking around this place. Besides, if everyone retires, you'll lose over half your warriors. People like Snow-whisker and Petalclaw can't run an entire Clan by themselves, nor would they ever have a hope of learning how unless some freak miracle happened. Some of these cats just don't want to gain the experience, they're fine with living and dying as simple warriors."
"I have never understood your relationship with my mother," she commented. "You two are clearly bonded at the level of souls, yet you have been less than faithful. You have treated Hawktalon as though they were less than dirt at times, yet it is clear that they would fling themselves headfirst off a cliff for you without a moment's pause. When I was young, some nursing queens ventured to explain love to my brother and I. Needless to say, they described the act as something far less complicated than...whatever the mess that you have created is." Featherstar frowned. "I am still not quite sure how to describe it, and now you have entered my uncle into the mix. You weave a tangled web, Duncan. On some level, I might even call it respectable that you've gone to all this trouble. It takes energy and a significant amount of dedication to disrupt the natural order this much," she chuckled dryly, and it was a bit of an artificial sound. "And I will heartily agree that few in this Clan have natural leadership qualities. It would not be worth the time to invest in a cat who does not care where they end up in the realm of politics, and I will say that I have my regrets."
Once again, Duncan shrugged. "Well, that's my regret. I ain't a good person for them; never have been. Don't really know what other people see in me besides a quick [], pretty-boy looks, and something other than a pea-sized brain. But, Hawk saw something worth caring about in me. Still does, actually. Others did, too."
"If it comforts you, I still do not see much worth salvaging in your ravaged, stained shell of a body." Featherstar replied, tilting her head to look up at the sky. "...I must wonder. Will my successor be better, or worse than myself? Surely, I have been a better leader than Applestar was," she mused more to herself than to Duncan, shuddering involuntarily as she uttered her predecessor's name. Her kin had caused pain, destruction. The vaguest whisper of the name sent shivers down the spines of every RapidClan cat who had lived through Applestar's tyrannical reign. Parents were forbidden to name their newborn children Applekit, and alternatives were always suggested. "I suppose that, on some level, I will never truly know the answer to that question. Very few StarClan cats can afford to monitor the living so closely nowadays."
In a tone far more hushed than normal, he cut into her monologue. "Do you ever dream of her? I do." Duncan joined her in staring into the wide expanse of the blue sky, eyes narrowing at the clouds above. "I don't doubt that Princess does."
"Sometimes," she answered without skipping a beat. There was a long pause before she spoke again. "It is mainly just visions. Fields covered in blood, the wails of the dying in the background. And there is her in the midst of it all, pelt oddly pristine in a slew of carnage. Sometimes it is a dream of her last life slipping away, and I am watching from a distance as she nearly coughs up a lung, then stills, white chest heaving a final time before she is banished from the world." Featherstar was no longer truly seeing what was in front of her, her amber eyes glassy. "...She was at my leader ceremony. She did not speak, just touched her nose to my head. All the other spirits avoided her, as though one could become infected by her madness just by being in her presence."
Duncan closed his eyes. "I'll admit I don't remember much of her earlier years, given that I wasn't there at times. Can chalk that up to being afraid, though not of four tiny kittens. Not entirely. I know that you've never felt this at any point in your life, but when those kids were born, I felt something new, something different, stirring in this old heart. 'Course, I was terrified. I'd had kids before, sure, but when your firstborn children and then some are products of repeated [] it just ain't the same. I ran. I kept running, thinking that if I got far enough away then my problems wouldn't matter anymore. Evidently, I was horrendously wrong, but," he paused a moment to shift his position on the ground beneath him. "Couldn't control how she turned out, though part of me is stupid enough to think that if only I had been there more often, things could have been different. I regret having the mental capacity to realize that I played a part in the making of a tyrant, though."
"When I was younger, I admired her. I am not sure if you could call it 'love', but I respected her a great deal. There were periods when she was calmer, more composed." Featherstar blinked slowly. "Despite being older than her by years, I looked up to her for a short time. Thinking back on it, I believe she exploited that. Molded me into her deputy, murdered the ones who were unfit to succeed her. She was certainly an interesting creature."
"Wouldn't surprise me. Kid had to get that intelligence and skill from somewhere," he said, nearly choking on the words. "She was too smart for her own good, and that ended up being detrimental in the end. Twisted her in some way that couldn't be fixed. She was always more like me than her mother, y'know?"
"At times, I miss her. Odd as that is to admit." Featherstar murmured. "She played a significant part in the lives of many cats...and she ended many lives, as well. She was not an honorable cat in the least, though I wonder how she viewed herself in her final moments. Did she have any sort of clarity? Or did she die believing that what she had done was the right thing?"
"Who knows." Duncan echoed faintly. "My daughter was a memorable one, and as much as everyone tries to forget her I think that she'll still linger in some way. It wouldn't be like her, to just leave without a trace."
"No," she agreed. "It wouldn't be." The tabby leader sat for a while, watching as the sky slowly darkened and the day faded into night. She kept one eye on her stepfather as he slumbered besides her, having exhausted his appropriate conversation topics long ago.