Post by MintStripe on Aug 12, 2016 8:47:09 GMT -5
Mysteries Have Risen
Hi, I'm MintStripe, but you can call me Mint or Minty. This is my very first fan fiction,. If you have advice, I'd love to hear it. Also, I don't write a lot, so the prologue is a bit short, and the chapters might turn out that way too, so, once again, please no hate! I have revised my fanfiction (very slightly), and got better at dealing with criticism, so here you go!
Prologue
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The sun slowly rose in the sky as a young kit watched in wonder. The whole forest seemed to light up with the wonderful rosy light. Her black pelt gently blew in the soft morning wind. Suddenly, a flash of black and white appeared behind the kit. Ravenkit, the morning wind seemed to whisper to her.
"No, not this, no!" The tiny kit tried to run for the nursery, but when she got to the entrance, she couldn't get in. It was as if there was an invisible wall blocking her way. The wind seemed to push her in the other direction. Then, she was in front of a Thunderpath.
The small black and white body of another kit was in front of her, laying still on the Thunderpath. The kit's pelt was soaked in blood. It's body heaved twice as if it was breathing, then it became still.
"No! You can't!" the living kit yowled angrily at the sky. "Why, StarClan! Was it really my fault?! He's gone!". She heard the faint meowing of other cats but she didn't care.
She tried to run away from the Thunderpath, feeling as if she might cry. The winds seemed to turn her to face the Thunderpath, but this time, she didn't fight. She just bowed her head and whispered, "Ravenkit...please...no..." Suddenly, the scene faded.
Prologue
-------------------------------
The sun slowly rose in the sky as a young kit watched in wonder. The whole forest seemed to light up with the wonderful rosy light. Her black pelt gently blew in the soft morning wind. Suddenly, a flash of black and white appeared behind the kit. Ravenkit, the morning wind seemed to whisper to her.
"No, not this, no!" The tiny kit tried to run for the nursery, but when she got to the entrance, she couldn't get in. It was as if there was an invisible wall blocking her way. The wind seemed to push her in the other direction. Then, she was in front of a Thunderpath.
The small black and white body of another kit was in front of her, laying still on the Thunderpath. The kit's pelt was soaked in blood. It's body heaved twice as if it was breathing, then it became still.
"No! You can't!" the living kit yowled angrily at the sky. "Why, StarClan! Was it really my fault?! He's gone!". She heard the faint meowing of other cats but she didn't care.
She tried to run away from the Thunderpath, feeling as if she might cry. The winds seemed to turn her to face the Thunderpath, but this time, she didn't fight. She just bowed her head and whispered, "Ravenkit...please...no..." Suddenly, the scene faded.
Chapter One
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"Mistkit! Mistkit!" A kit from the other side of the nursery meowed, "Come over here!". Mistkit groaned and got to her paws. What had she just seen? A dream? A vision? Whatever it was, she needed to focus on her own life, not some other kit's life that she didn't even know about. Still, why would she see that?
"I'm coming!" She meowed with a hint of humor in her voice. Mistkit was a kit with gray fur and green eyes.
When she got to the other kit she purred, "Alright Tawnykit, what do you want?". Tawnykit was her best friend. She had light brown fur and amber eyes.
"Come on, Mistkit! Don't pretend you don't know!" Tawnykit purred. "We're going to be apprentices!". Mistkit flicked her tail from side to side. "Of course I know!" She purred, "We'll be the best apprentices in DuskClan!".
A queen-- Tawnykit's mother-- padded up to the kits. "Hello Mistkit." She meowed, "Tawnykit, you need to get ready for your apprentice ceremony." She meowed, turning to Tawnykit.
"But, Stonepetal, I want to play with Mistkit." Meowed Tawnykit. Even though Tawnykit protested, she meowed a quick goodbye to Mistkit with humor showing in her eyes.
Mistkit went back to her mother-- Speckleflower-- who was beckoning to her with her tail. "You need to get ready too." Speckleflower meowed.
Then a call sounded from outside the nursery. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own pray join at the large stump for a clan meeting!" Mistkit leaped to her paws. "It's Shadestar!" She meowed excitedly, "I'm becoming an apprentice!".
As she and Tawnykit left the nursery first, Mistkit looked back. Then she thought of something... none of the kits in the nursery looked like the kit she had seen in her 'vision'. That confirmed that it was probably just a dream. But Mistkit couldn’t help but wonder.
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"Mistkit! Mistkit!" A kit from the other side of the nursery meowed, "Come over here!". Mistkit groaned and got to her paws. What had she just seen? A dream? A vision? Whatever it was, she needed to focus on her own life, not some other kit's life that she didn't even know about. Still, why would she see that?
"I'm coming!" She meowed with a hint of humor in her voice. Mistkit was a kit with gray fur and green eyes.
When she got to the other kit she purred, "Alright Tawnykit, what do you want?". Tawnykit was her best friend. She had light brown fur and amber eyes.
"Come on, Mistkit! Don't pretend you don't know!" Tawnykit purred. "We're going to be apprentices!". Mistkit flicked her tail from side to side. "Of course I know!" She purred, "We'll be the best apprentices in DuskClan!".
A queen-- Tawnykit's mother-- padded up to the kits. "Hello Mistkit." She meowed, "Tawnykit, you need to get ready for your apprentice ceremony." She meowed, turning to Tawnykit.
"But, Stonepetal, I want to play with Mistkit." Meowed Tawnykit. Even though Tawnykit protested, she meowed a quick goodbye to Mistkit with humor showing in her eyes.
Mistkit went back to her mother-- Speckleflower-- who was beckoning to her with her tail. "You need to get ready too." Speckleflower meowed.
Then a call sounded from outside the nursery. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own pray join at the large stump for a clan meeting!" Mistkit leaped to her paws. "It's Shadestar!" She meowed excitedly, "I'm becoming an apprentice!".
As she and Tawnykit left the nursery first, Mistkit looked back. Then she thought of something... none of the kits in the nursery looked like the kit she had seen in her 'vision'. That confirmed that it was probably just a dream. But Mistkit couldn’t help but wonder.
Chapter Two
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The whole of DuskClan that could attend was gathered at the large stump, waiting for Shadestar to begin. Mistkit couldn't seem to sit still, and when she look at Stonepetal and Tawnykit, Tawnykit was moving around just as much as her.
Finally, Shadestar meowed, "It is time that we name two new apprentices," Mistkit's mother made a small effort to groom her at this point.
"Don't worry," Speckleflower purred, looking at Mistkit,"you'll be fine." Mistkit realized that Speckleflower was trying was trying to assure herself more than her. Before Shadestar continued, Mistkit pressed her pelt into her mother's.
"Mistkit and Tawykit," Shadestar meowed, beckoning the two kits forward, "have reached the age of six moons. From this moment on, until they have earned their warrior names, these apprentices will be known as Tawnypaw and Mistpaw! Shadowclaw, you will mentor Tawnypaw, and Frostheart, you will mentor Mistpaw."
The two warriors came forward and gently touched their noses to the top of their new apprentice's heads.
"Tawnypaw, Mistpaw, Tawnypaw, Mistpaw, Tawnypaw, Mistpaw!" The clan meowed happily.
Mistpaw gazed at her clan from under the large stump and was filled with pride. She was an apprentice! One look at Tawnypaw told Mistpaw that she felt the same way.
"Mistpaw!" Frostheart's meow shook her out of her thoughts. She saw her mentor beckoning her from the entrance of camp."Sorry!" She meowed, realizing she had not been paying attention.
When she got to Frostheart, he meowed, "Because it's the middle of the day, we'll just practice how to hunt at the training circle."
Before Mistpaw could say anything, Frostheart ran out into their territory, the cut down forest. Mistpaw followed, eager to learn. They ran in what Frostheart said was the direction to the training circle. Then, suddenly, Mistpaw stopped. They were near a large pathway. It smelled awful, but nothing was on it. Her mentor came up beside her.
"That's the Thunderpath," He meowed, "It marks our border with FlameClan." Mistpaw's ears perked at the mention of another clan. She had never even seen a cat outside her own clan except a for few loners.
"Is there anything else... special about the Thunderpath?" She asked. For some reason, she felt like she knew something about this Thunderpath. Frostheart shook his head, "It's just like all the Thunderpaths." Mistpaw decided not to ask more. Then it all came rushing back. The weird thing she had seen that night.... this was the same Thunderpath! As she and Frostheart went to begin training, she pondered whether or not to tell her mentor. What was happening, and if it was a vision, why would she see it?
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The whole of DuskClan that could attend was gathered at the large stump, waiting for Shadestar to begin. Mistkit couldn't seem to sit still, and when she look at Stonepetal and Tawnykit, Tawnykit was moving around just as much as her.
Finally, Shadestar meowed, "It is time that we name two new apprentices," Mistkit's mother made a small effort to groom her at this point.
"Don't worry," Speckleflower purred, looking at Mistkit,"you'll be fine." Mistkit realized that Speckleflower was trying was trying to assure herself more than her. Before Shadestar continued, Mistkit pressed her pelt into her mother's.
"Mistkit and Tawykit," Shadestar meowed, beckoning the two kits forward, "have reached the age of six moons. From this moment on, until they have earned their warrior names, these apprentices will be known as Tawnypaw and Mistpaw! Shadowclaw, you will mentor Tawnypaw, and Frostheart, you will mentor Mistpaw."
The two warriors came forward and gently touched their noses to the top of their new apprentice's heads.
"Tawnypaw, Mistpaw, Tawnypaw, Mistpaw, Tawnypaw, Mistpaw!" The clan meowed happily.
Mistpaw gazed at her clan from under the large stump and was filled with pride. She was an apprentice! One look at Tawnypaw told Mistpaw that she felt the same way.
"Mistpaw!" Frostheart's meow shook her out of her thoughts. She saw her mentor beckoning her from the entrance of camp."Sorry!" She meowed, realizing she had not been paying attention.
When she got to Frostheart, he meowed, "Because it's the middle of the day, we'll just practice how to hunt at the training circle."
Before Mistpaw could say anything, Frostheart ran out into their territory, the cut down forest. Mistpaw followed, eager to learn. They ran in what Frostheart said was the direction to the training circle. Then, suddenly, Mistpaw stopped. They were near a large pathway. It smelled awful, but nothing was on it. Her mentor came up beside her.
"That's the Thunderpath," He meowed, "It marks our border with FlameClan." Mistpaw's ears perked at the mention of another clan. She had never even seen a cat outside her own clan except a for few loners.
"Is there anything else... special about the Thunderpath?" She asked. For some reason, she felt like she knew something about this Thunderpath. Frostheart shook his head, "It's just like all the Thunderpaths." Mistpaw decided not to ask more. Then it all came rushing back. The weird thing she had seen that night.... this was the same Thunderpath! As she and Frostheart went to begin training, she pondered whether or not to tell her mentor. What was happening, and if it was a vision, why would she see it?
But you honestly have great potential as a writer, I'll continue following this particular story with interest.
