#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Nov 6, 2017 17:05:04 GMT -5
So, some of you may remember how I was going to rewrite the series, but only ended up posting the allegiances. Well, college happened, plus I'm also doing NaNoWriMo this year and also focusing on other stories on general. However, I do intend to go back to it next month (or at least after final exams, anyway). So, that being said, I'm curious to hear how you guys would rewrite the series. Oh, and you can ask me questions on my rewrite if you want. I won't mind. These are some of my own ideas I had for what I would do to the series. Note that not all of these may not even make it into the rewrite: 1) Have the cats be more realistic. Maybe not 100% accurate genetics, but at the very least have more cats with multiple mates and a litter where there are multiple fathers. That kind of thing.
2) One PoV per book. Say Firepaw still gets ItW, but then Graystripe could get F&I, etc... That way the series won't just focus on Firestar and his kin, but on other cats too. I always believed that everyone has their own story to tell.
3) More developed and acknowledged relationships. The former should be self explanatory, but with the latter, what I mean is that—especially in the first arc—sometimes kits barely interact with their parents. Maybe have Sandpaw play with Ashkit and Fernkit, or show her mourning for Redtail and Brindleface. Small things like that, basically. Or in terms of Scourge and Firestar being half brothers, I'd make it have meaning to the story.
4) Speaking of Scourge, I just feel like he wasn't foreshadowed enough and the same goes for a few other plot points, so I guess just more foreshadowing in general.
5) Better names. Enough said.
6) End it at OotS, but if it had to continue, then I'd at least have Alderheart and Sparkpelt be the kits of someone else while Squirrelflight stays barren.
7) Less forbidden relationships, or at least more developed ones.
8) Background characters having more personality.
9) Showing no mercy and having characters die at least once per book, especially with the older generation. And Briarlight. Especially Briarlight.
10) Resolving unresolved conflicts within the story. I'm looking at you, Blossomfall-Millie drama!
11) Maybe more red herrings? Like for example, maybe Hawkfrost and Mothwing's roles are switched, and it's assumed that Hawkfrost is bad and Mothwing good, when it's really the other way around. Or maybe Sandstorm could be the cat in the first prophecy instead of Firestar.
12) Less inconsistencies. For this, I'd just keep a chart or something to keep track of everything.
13) Give more depth to the afterlife. For example, maybe the Dark Forest could be like an Ironic Hell. Explain their backstories, and the same goes for the trainees. Make it so cats don't just cease to exist when they fade. Things like that.
14) Less unrequited romances, or at least make them have some sort of meaning story-wise, like Cinderpelt's love for Firestar.
15) Have the cats know about SkyClan very early on, and their banishment is treated as a cautionary tale rather than just keeping their existence a secret.
16) Changing some pairings and roles. For example, maybe instead of SkyxStar, it's SkyxPetal. And maybe we could have Tawnystar instead of Rowanstar. Or in terms of inter-Clan forbidden relationships, maybe have more cats join their mate's Clan. Or just not have a certain pairing occur at all.
17) Representation. Maybe HazelxIce could be a thing, or Cinderheart could've had a crush on Hollyleaf at one point.
18) Expanding on abandoned plots. For example, when Squirrelpaw implied she felt pressured due to being Firestar's daughter, maybe have her have some sort of bond with Brambleclaw or something, seeing as how he was judged for being Tigerstar's son.
19) Getting rid of some plots, like Cinderpelt possessing Cinderheart. This also includes getting rid of some powers, and maybe have Hollyleaf be the Third instead of Dovewing. Also, get rid of the Fourth cat, or at least have it be someone else besides Firestar. This may also include plots presented in the books entirely.
20) Get rid of some codes, or at least reword them. Maybe the Clan leader's word could still be law, unless it contradicted with the rest of the warrior code.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Nov 6, 2017 17:51:28 GMT -5
I probably wouldn't because I am way too lazy to rewrite an entire series but I'm pretty sure my main change would be changing OOTS entirely so Hollyleaf is still one of the Three, giving Ivypool's arc to her in some ways, and basically yeah. That'd be interesting. I actually always imagined Hollyleaf to have the power of Heart (or at least that's what I always called it anyway). I've noticed other people have had the same headcanon, but basically Hollyleaf would have the power to see into a cat's deepest desires and possibly manipulate them or something like that. This would make sense with her character since Hollyleaf always desired order, and it'd also make sense in terms of theme: Jayfeather is brains, Lionblaze is brawn, so it'd make sense for Hollyleaf to be Heart. Not only that, but she was also the one keeping the original Three together before her disappearance. Afterwards, I never got the feeling that even Jayfeather and Lionblaze were close anymore, never mind Dovewing, or at least compared to their relationship in PoT anyway.
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Post by Basement Cat on Nov 6, 2017 17:54:27 GMT -5
I'm planning to completely rewrite TLH. Eventually. Famous last words...
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Rainbow
Pandean
Ferncloud Deserves Better
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Post by Pandean on Nov 6, 2017 17:54:43 GMT -5
I probably wouldn't because I am way too lazy to rewrite an entire series but I'm pretty sure my main change would be changing OOTS entirely so Hollyleaf is still one of the Three, giving Ivypool's arc to her in some ways, and basically yeah. That'd be interesting. I actually always imagined Hollyleaf to have the power of Heart (or at least that's what I always called it anyway). I've noticed other people have had the same headcanon, but basically Hollyleaf would have the power to see into a cat's deepest desires and possibly manipulate them or something like that. This would make sense with her character since Hollyleaf always desired order, and it'd also make sense in terms of theme: Jayfeather is brains, Lionblaze is brawn, so it'd make sense for Hollyleaf to be Heart. Not only that, but she was also the one keeping the original Three together before her disappearance. Afterwards, I never got the feeling that even Jayfeather and Lionblaze were close anymore, never mind Dovewing, or at least compared to their relationship in PoT anyway. So much yes. Hollyleaf was the heart of the group and when she left it was just.....chaotic.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Nov 6, 2017 18:07:11 GMT -5
That'd be interesting. I actually always imagined Hollyleaf to have the power of Heart (or at least that's what I always called it anyway). I've noticed other people have had the same headcanon, but basically Hollyleaf would have the power to see into a cat's deepest desires and possibly manipulate them or something like that. This would make sense with her character since Hollyleaf always desired order, and it'd also make sense in terms of theme: Jayfeather is brains, Lionblaze is brawn, so it'd make sense for Hollyleaf to be Heart. Not only that, but she was also the one keeping the original Three together before her disappearance. Afterwards, I never got the feeling that even Jayfeather and Lionblaze were close anymore, never mind Dovewing, or at least compared to their relationship in PoT anyway. So much yes. Hollyleaf was the heart of the group and when she left it was just.....chaotic. Such a shame that the only reason she wasn't given a power was because Vicky couldn't think of one for her. PoT was okay in my eyes, but I feel like the lack of Hollyleaf might've affected the writing as well, or at least as far as Dovewing's arc as the Third is concerned anyway. Or what they could've done is maybe have Dovewing feel insecure about filling in Hollyleaf's paws. She and Lionblaze could have an awkward relationship because she's basically Hollyleaf's replacement and maybe he could even feel guilty over her "death" for letting her get hurt by the collapsing tunnels, as well as because she found out about the tunnels because he was playing with Heatherpaw. I remember Brambleclaw telling him once to protect his siblings, so he could've taken Hollyleaf's death the hardest. Oh, and maybe Jayfeather and Dovewing could've had like a brother-sister relationship since that's exactly what they were in their past lives, but this of course isn't revealed until later on in the story. Just some ideas. I don't know, I just feel like anything could've been better than what we got in OotS.
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Post by Alpha on Nov 6, 2017 18:48:07 GMT -5
- more realistic, especially in terms of genetics and behavior. - isolate PoT and OotS. The PoT prophecy would be settled in PoT and not dragged on. OotS would be its own thing. - Squirrelflight wouldn't have been barren. Leafpool gave the kits to Crowfeather instead. - Hawkfrost shall be the main character of TNP because why not. - I would also make it so the protagonists actually do something. In a re-write, I have Alderheart as the primary cat who drives the plot. - Also just be more flexible with POVs. For example, not having four of them with three of them being only filler. - Change Scourge, definitely. Probably make him more of a threat than he was in the books. - very minimal romance - swap the sex of a few cats because the Erins are sexist - not pick on ShadowClan so much please
there are also other things that would happen too, like Deadstar
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Post by ❅Maplefrost❅ on Nov 7, 2017 9:57:18 GMT -5
Personally, I think you should just start fresh, with new clans, new names, etc. And write from there. If it turns out to become really popular among readers and fans, that would be interesting.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Nov 7, 2017 10:09:15 GMT -5
Personally, I think you should just start fresh, with new clans, new names, etc. And write from there. If it turns out to become really popular among readers and fans, that would be interesting. I actually have thought about doing that. In fact, I've been thinking of writing my own animal series for a good while now. If I go back to it, I could just transfer all these ideas I had for the rewrite onto my own animal series. The focus probably won't be on cats, though. Maybe wolves, especially since I'm more familiar with them (and meerkats) than I am with any other animal.
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Post by ❅Maplefrost❅ on Nov 7, 2017 10:10:24 GMT -5
Personally, I think you should just start fresh, with new clans, new names, etc. And write from there. If it turns out to become really popular among readers and fans, that would be interesting. I actually have thought about doing that. In fact, I've been thinking of writing my own animal series for a good while now. If I go back to it, I could just transfer all these ideas I had for the rewrite onto my own animal series. The focus probably won't be on cats, though. Maybe wolves, especially since I'm more familiar with them (and meerkats) than I am with any other animal. When you save wolves and meerkats, the first thing that pops to mind is Call of the Wild/White Fang and Meerkat Manor.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Nov 7, 2017 10:16:58 GMT -5
I actually have thought about doing that. In fact, I've been thinking of writing my own animal series for a good while now. If I go back to it, I could just transfer all these ideas I had for the rewrite onto my own animal series. The focus probably won't be on cats, though. Maybe wolves, especially since I'm more familiar with them (and meerkats) than I am with any other animal. When you save wolves and meerkats, the first thing that pops to mind is Call of the Wild/White Fang and Meerkat Manor. Good, because that's exactly what I was going for. XD For the meerkat thing, I know I want to write a story involving them, I'm just not sure about the plot yet, so maybe I actually could take some stuff from this. However, I also want to be accurate with portraying Africa and giving the characters African names (like how the Lion King franchise did), so I'll still have to do research regardless.
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Post by SuperStarlite on Nov 7, 2017 11:43:18 GMT -5
The thought has crossed my mind on multiple occasions, but considering I've only just finished TPB, I think I'll hold off thinking to hard on it for a bit. But if I where to, I wouldn't just "rewrite" it, it would be a more full on reboot/G2 sort of thing. Some characters from the original, some with the same names as original characters but totally different personality, new storyline that acknowledges the originals in some ways, whether it be taking the opposite, playing it straight, or deconstructing it.
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Post by Rainstar on Nov 7, 2017 18:42:07 GMT -5
Firestar shouldn't have murdered Scourge. Scourge should have killed himself out of doubt and Firestar realizes that he should not have doubt. idk, it's a rough story change
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2017 19:48:35 GMT -5
Jake as a dictator like crime boss within a gang similar to Scourge; Scourge is his illegitimate offspring and is tainted by Bone's brainwashing to rise up against the womanizer that is Jake and kill his heir, Rusty, who is pretty clueless but extremely daring, Rusty knows he is in danger and flees to the woods with Smudge's aid; they are forced to take refuge within ThunderClan, assuming new names and Bluestar approves because he's the fire cat and all that- that remains the same. Scourge is a threat throughout- a wavering one, as Bone is his puppeteer, but still he's a dictator. Barley leads a rebellion and is older than he is in the books as I always thought he was an old man, to be honest, and his age still seems uncertain. Oakheart and Crookedstar live by the way, as does Silverstream, and there's a TON more RiverClan action because I demand RiverClan!
Oh, and throw genetics partially out the window. Character descriptions are only necessary as plot device! Ex- Rusty has a firey pelt, and a fire prophecy. The story should remain focus on story, not necessarily realism, although I would have a few cats with several mates every so often (Jake styled- I had an idea that the clans would consider themselves above others, not for "being wild", but for having laws and an almost human like system; cats have permanent mates, and a structure that seems almost civilized, whereas strays just follow instincts and seem almost barbaric in comparison; Jake's family copied this and tried it within the city). Female cats would definitely have more litters, however, more mates or no- or, perhaps, not, as I'd have a problem writing kitten deaths and they be quite unavoidable. ;w;
Also- Clan cats use terms like "twoleg", but, city cats know some human words. Thus a pet might say "parent" or "human" as opposed to "twoleg" or "upwalker".
Continuing with the story, however. More reason for Bluestar to hate Thistleclaw- a different system for leadership I won't go into depth about pits them against each other since birth (they are born on the same day instead of separate, and this is what makes them possible heirs). Thistleclaw remains evil, he cannot be redeemed, he is bad, but no him and Spotted. In fact Spottedleaf and Fire isn't a thing either.
Cats still fade but there's an exploitation for it, the same one used in my warriors fan fictions but that's a spoiler to one I'm posting right now so ah.
DIMENSION JUMPING HALF-MOON, I'm serious, I have a whole story idea written that's a bit wild but these are just a few pointers.
That is all for now, I might actually write this so I shouldn't spoil.
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Post by wolfcry32 on Nov 8, 2017 2:42:54 GMT -5
Hmm...personally I would have Tigerstar succeed in killing Bluestar. Not necessarily getting away with it- he would still get caught in the act. He still gets exiled, but now Firestar is a much younger leader who’s struggling under the weight of potential betrayal, disapproval and loss of his friend. Because of this, he still makes some of the same mistakes Bluestar did (but avoiding the whole Swiftpaw-Brightpaw dog fiasco).
Tigerstar would go much earlier in TDH. It starts as a 1v1 against Firestar, but Scourge jumps in after seeing just how arrogant and threatening he is to his plans.
As far as TNP goes, maybe have Shrewpaw live? Also have all of Tigerstar’s kids training with him. They do drop off one by one when they realize his intentions. Hawkfrost would leave as well, but his ambition still leads him to the same path.
Ix nay on the whole AshXSquirrel nonsense. No ruining a perfectly good warrior.
Giving Tawnypelt a more active role!
Slightly more genetic accuracy.
Hollyleaf as one of the Three. Dovewing can be the fourth.
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Smallrunner
violetsparkle is better than twigtwig. also, VOS names are 99.9% horrible :')
Pronouns: He/She/Ze/Your Majesty/Anything
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Post by Smallrunner on Nov 11, 2017 9:38:35 GMT -5
Removing Hawkfrost as a villain and having Mothwing as a deathberry-meddie. Hawkfrost has obvious on his forehead, and Leafpool could have a more major role in the arc.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2017 11:49:25 GMT -5
I'm planning to rewrite Sunrise, since rewriting the entire series is way too much work for me.
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Post by leopard on Nov 11, 2017 19:57:04 GMT -5
-needletail x violetpaw be canon and honestly?? just more gay cats -have a whole sub plot about alderheart being ftm and his transition -gay -rewrite the whole code, and allow forbidden romances, and romances with loners/kittypets -no stuff like 'monster', 'twoleg', etc. it makes no sense considering the cats dont call mountains 'cloud pointer' or whatever -stop being mean to shadowclan as said above -scrouge kills firestar, while sandstorm is pregnant. whitestorm kills scourge, becomes leader and eventually hollyleaf becomes leader -hollyleaf does not go into the tunnels -also hollyleaf is really gay for ivypool -most of the cats from tpb are dead in the 4th arc
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Post by Tas on Nov 11, 2017 20:32:30 GMT -5
better cats in every way
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icepool2011
I would like to rewrite dawn of the clans all the way up to AVOS and ide love some help with it
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Post by icepool2011 on Mar 30, 2020 14:59:54 GMT -5
Well ide start from dawn of the clans and go from there witch I’m going to do since I want to change code tools a bit and add some things
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