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Post by Nami on Sept 29, 2017 23:09:12 GMT -5
Fawn And Leaf: Book 1
Welcome To A Wolves Of The Beyond/Warrior Cats Fan Fiction Series! I Welcome You To Read Everything By The Ways!
Teaser/Prolougue:
Fawn and Leaf shall leave the forest and save it all at once…
Chapter 1:
Fawn looked down at her paws as Leaf, her older brother padded up. He pawed at her nose playfully. She looked up and gave a wolfish grin. “Fine, I’ll play!” She squeaked. Leaf was about a month older than her. She got into a playful fighting postion and leaped. He dodged easily and landed squarely on her shoulders. She yelped and he jumped back off as his claws raked through her fur, she backed away from him and ran to there mother, Rain. “Leaf clawed me!” Fawn told her mother, showing Rain the deep scratches in her back and legs. “Leaf!” Her mother howled, getting up and going outside. Fawn followed, growling, and mumbling under her breath. When she got outside Rain had Leaf by the scruff and was shaking him like a mad wolf, who had the foaming mouth disease. She howled and barked as she ran towards Rain with bared teeth. She leaped at Rain. Rain crashed to the ground as Fawn pushed her down with unbelievable strength. Fawn was genuinly keeping Rain down. Fawn looked over at Leaf. “Are you okay Leaf?” She asked, her eyes filled with worry. He nodded, looking at her with fear. He had his ears back and tail tucked behind his legs. She looked at him quizzically and then looked down at Rain. Rain lay,dead, on the ground next to her. She shrieked and ran…. She ran until her legs couldn’t run anymore. She was lost and scared and didn’t know what to do. That concludes chapter 1 of Fawn And Leaf
Chapter 2:
In Construction
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Post by Nami on Oct 2, 2017 8:23:08 GMT -5
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Post by Nami on Oct 7, 2017 13:46:06 GMT -5
Hi! Chapter 1 is FINNALLY out guys! Hope you enjoy! Please leave feedback here and then like this poat so that I can reply more quickly! Thanks!
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Post by Nami on Oct 7, 2017 14:46:13 GMT -5
73 VIEWS?!?!?!?! HOW??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
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Post by Nami on Oct 8, 2017 13:33:20 GMT -5
WE WENT FORM 73 VIEWS TO 94?!?!!?!?!?!? I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! Now please leave some feedback!
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Post by Headphone Actor on Oct 8, 2017 15:39:39 GMT -5
Hey! This story is off to a great start! I'm interested in what's going on, and that's a good thing!
From a critical standpoint, though, I feel like the chapters should be longer. You don't have to write a novel-length chapter for everything, but the first chapter feels more like a prologue? The whole thing escalates quickly in a short amount of time, and while Leaf and Fawn interest me, and the reason behind why Rain was so brutal to Leaf for what seemed like such a small, innocent thing, but it seemed a little rushed.
I like them already, though! Keep up the good work, and you can add me as a fan if you keep a list of those!
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Post by Headphone Actor on Oct 8, 2017 15:48:13 GMT -5
Adding on to this, something that helped me a lot when I first started writing was reading other people's fanfictions. A lot of people on these forums are professional-tier writers, and they kind of helped me read and see how they wrote, and I worked out my own style from that.
Some really good writers on WCFF are writers such as Shadowface, who writes Curse and the Dark Side of the Moon series, Tuesday, who's favorite story of mine is How the Mighty Fall, Dewstripe, who is writing Mind Games, and tons more.
I also know that, once this fantastic story gets a few more chapters in, Dewstripe has a reviewing and editing service, and they'll happily give you some better pointers for writing than I'm able to give.
Again, though, keep it up and I'll keep following! Writing a fic is hard, but it's really fun and really rewarding, and WCFF has a really sweet and friendly community of writers.
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Post by Nami on Oct 8, 2017 17:50:55 GMT -5
Thanks! I enjoy the critique! Also, the next chapter will be awhile cause I have to keep up with school! XD Thanks though! I'll keep all of that in mind by the ways!
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Post by Headphone Actor on Oct 8, 2017 17:55:39 GMT -5
Thanks! I enjoy the critique! Also, the next chapter will be awhile cause I have to keep up with school! XD Thanks though! I'll keep all of that in mind by the ways! Ah school, the distant cousin of work and nemesis of having fun. Boo. Still, I'll keep an eye out for any updates! Keep up the good work!
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Post by Nami on Oct 8, 2017 18:00:19 GMT -5
mk! thanks again!
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Post by Headphone Actor on Oct 8, 2017 18:26:28 GMT -5
No problem!
Honestly, If it's no trouble, do you think you could look over my own fic when you have time? It's called Trials and Tribulations, and I want as many people picking it apart as possible.
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Post by Nami on Oct 8, 2017 18:54:53 GMT -5
mk! mind getting a link for me?
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Post by Nami on Oct 8, 2017 19:41:21 GMT -5
thanks!
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Post by Nami on Oct 21, 2017 5:23:09 GMT -5
150 VIEWS?!?!??!? GUYS UR ABSOLUTLY AMAZING!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
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Post by Nami on Nov 4, 2017 13:54:07 GMT -5
TY For 202 Views!
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