Post by Skyfall on Aug 10, 2016 11:11:01 GMT -5
I find it funny how when we least expect it, love hits us. There will be periods of our lives when all we want is a little affection. We want to be held and coddled and told that we are okay. We need validation. It’s not a want. We need it—crave it. And if we feel unloved, or empty, or lonely, that validation that we matter is gone. We feel lost. We feel forgotten. But most of all, there is this… emptiness in our chests that grows each passing day we feel lonely. It grows and grows until it threatens to consume us entirely. Sometimes we scratch and we claw at it—try to free ourselves from its oppression… And other times we wish it would hurry up. We give up and we simply wait for our inevitable end.
That was how I was. I was in that bitter stage of acceptance. When I looked at my reflection, I saw something hideous and undesirable staring back at me. I looked at myself and was filled with a sense of uttermost loathing. Hatred. Such potent and cruel hatred that I felt toward my own self.
I hated myself.
More than words can explain.
Then you came…
You just kind of came prancing into my life—flamboyant, unexpected, loud, and unable to ignore. We knew each other from a distance, only spoke when needed to. But you were always kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
Sometimes, I wonder why it took so long… or how it even happened.
I fell in love with you without even realizing what was happening. When I recognized the swelling in my chest whenever I saw you, it was too late. I was already lost in everything that was you.
I’ve heard people say that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
That is bull.
I’ve never loved myself.
But you…
I love you so much that I forget what hating myself feelings like.
That was how I was. I was in that bitter stage of acceptance. When I looked at my reflection, I saw something hideous and undesirable staring back at me. I looked at myself and was filled with a sense of uttermost loathing. Hatred. Such potent and cruel hatred that I felt toward my own self.
I hated myself.
More than words can explain.
Then you came…
You just kind of came prancing into my life—flamboyant, unexpected, loud, and unable to ignore. We knew each other from a distance, only spoke when needed to. But you were always kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
Sometimes, I wonder why it took so long… or how it even happened.
I fell in love with you without even realizing what was happening. When I recognized the swelling in my chest whenever I saw you, it was too late. I was already lost in everything that was you.
I’ve heard people say that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
That is bull.
I’ve never loved myself.
But you…
I love you so much that I forget what hating myself feelings like.
