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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 10:49:55 GMT -5
There was a crash near where I live and three people died, and me and most of my peers knew them because they were 20-24 so we went to school and all so everybody's all sad and shaken up and going to their funeral etc. Average stuff.
But I knew them in a really negative light as the guys who would physically and verbally harass and bully me during high school and where as I never hated them so much i wanted them dead theres no big loss here and i'm not on the "Oh yeah they were so great and nice young men with their whole lives ahead of them. :'(" train.
For the most part their actions was stuff I was long over but I cant just forget what they did and lie that they were some superstar neighborhood role models when they weren't.
I'm not gonna celebrate and dance on their graves or anything but when a few of my friends and peers asked me if I was going to the funerals i just said no, and flat out said why and several of them are making me out to be the bad guy and like i would taking what I said and screenshots out of context.
I mean yeah it is pretty sad they died and its weird knowing they were people I knew close to my age. Sorry I'm not going to miss people who were abusive to me??
And now with people rallying to defend the abusers just bc theyre dead now so how dare i say something bad about the disceaced, I'm just kind of scrolling fb seeing who else I gotta delete from my friends list and/or my life.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 11:05:54 GMT -5
I really hate the whole "if you've died your actions will automatically stop being damaging" attitude because it's really stupid
your harmful actions and their effects on others don't disappear when you've died. dead people were still people. a lot of dead people did horrible things when they were alive and should be held accountable for that
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 11:16:18 GMT -5
Right? And its not like I'm telling other people not to go I'm just saying I'm not going and my reason why.
Plus being around sad crying people makes me sad and cry even if its unrelated.
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Post by Turin not Torino on Aug 25, 2017 12:07:41 GMT -5
I fully understand where you're coming from on this. Their bad behavior from when they were alive doesn't just magically get erased because they had the misfortune of dying young. You shouldn't have to sensor yourself when others ask you specifically how you felt about them/the situation. It would be different if you were campaigning to those who are mourning them about how bad they were, but you sound like you are being pretty respectful of their opinions, and they should be the same about yours.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 12:17:18 GMT -5
I also hate the whole idea that you can't say anything was wrong about a person once they die. I'd rather be remembered as a crappy person (which I probably will be remembered as anyways lmao) than some kind of messiah.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 12:32:41 GMT -5
I also hate the whole idea that you can't say anything was wrong about a person once they die. I'd rather be remembered as a crappy person (which I probably will be remembered as anyways lmao) than some kind of messiah. I dont think youre a bad person but you'll definitely be remembered for inducing cat hell. At least around here.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 12:37:05 GMT -5
I also hate the whole idea that you can't say anything was wrong about a person once they die. I'd rather be remembered as a crappy person (which I probably will be remembered as anyways lmao) than some kind of messiah. I dont think youre a bad person but you'll definitely be remembered for inducing cat hell. At least around here. ensemble: there's all the disturbing stuff from the disclaimer in it but the only thing people mention about its disturbingness is cat hell(tm) this is is a proud accomplishment of mine
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Post by Snappppppppppppp on Aug 25, 2017 18:32:29 GMT -5
It's hard to try to be sad about people who don't deserve it. To me if you were awful alive, no reason for me to mourn your death.
There was a boy who was killed in a car accident because him and his friends were drinking. He was not a good kid. He drank, did drugs, and Got in legal trouble all the time. His mother keeps trying to defend his death and say that her innocent son was taken too soon. she even got mad that somebody put a lighter in his casket, even though I'm sure that is something he probably would have liked.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 19:01:29 GMT -5
you're in the right. i think those people should grow up. i hate when how you die, you are some precious thing that cannot be insulted even if you were terrible while alive
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 19:06:12 GMT -5
TW: Suicide mention
Tbh there was a guy back in elementary school who used to bully me in the regular. At one point I learned he had a learning disability, so I offered to help him with his reading at lunchtime (in private) thinking he'd be nicer to me then/I felt genuinely bad for seeing him struggle. But nope. It was always chill at the help session and then once it was over he'd be shoving me in the lockers again, or spitting on me/taunting me at recess
He died three years ago by a self-iflicted gunshot wound. When my mum asked if I was going to the funeral as soon as I heard the name I said flat out no. You mistreat me in life, don't expect me to respect you in death
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Post by ⌭ ᑕᖇᑌIᑎᑎ ᔕᗩOᒪ ⌭ on Aug 25, 2017 19:18:06 GMT -5
I see where your coming from, but honestly I'd just go to be respectful to the family. Even if I wasn't friends with those people in life, and they mistreated me, their family still suffers for their deaths. You don't need to give a speech for them, you don't need to say any goodbyes to them, especially if they mistreated you. But just be there for the family. And your friends who judge you for not being able to harbor feelings for their deaths because of what they did should really understand why that's so. Not think your a bad person for it.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 20:40:37 GMT -5
TW: Suicide mention Tbh there was a guy back in elementary school who used to bully me in the regular. At one point I learned he had a learning disability, so I offered to help him with his reading at lunchtime (in private) thinking he'd be nicer to me then/I felt genuinely bad for seeing him struggle. But nope. It was always chill at the help session and then once it was over he'd be shoving me in the lockers again, or spitting on me/taunting me at recess He died three years ago by a self-iflicted gunshot wound. When my mum asked if I was going to the funeral as soon as I heard the name I said flat out no. You mistreat me in life, don't expect me to respect you in death Thats really depressing though that he couldnt get the help he needed or refused it like that. Even if he was a jerk nobody should take their own life.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 20:42:15 GMT -5
I see where your coming from, but honestly I'd just go to be respectful to the family. Even if I wasn't friends with those people in life, and they mistreated me, their family still suffers for their deaths. You don't need to give a speech for them, you don't need to say any goodbyes to them, especially if they mistreated you. But just be there for the family. And your friends who judge you for not being able to harbor feelings for their deaths because of what they did should really understand why that's so. Not think your a bad person for it. I dont even know the families because i barely knew anything about them aside from what they did to be mean. its literally just my so called friends badgering me about it. :/
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2017 20:42:27 GMT -5
I Am In Your WallsYeah, that part was really sad/has always bothered me a bit. Tbh it probably plays a small role in why I'm so passionate about wanting to help teach kids with learning/intellectual disabilities someday.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 5:48:16 GMT -5
It's hard to try to be sad about people who don't deserve it. To me if you were awful alive, no reason for me to mourn your death. There was a boy who was killed in a car accident because him and his friends were drinking. He was not a good kid. He drank, did drugs, and Got in legal trouble all the time. His mother keeps trying to defend his death and say that her innocent son was taken too soon. she even got mad that somebody put a lighter in his casket, even though I'm sure that is something he probably would have liked. uh
drinking and taking drugs really doesn't justify someone's death
it doesn't make you a bad person, just a stupid one. He's not innocent, but he doesn't seem all that bad to me. However I don't know the full story, so if he actually was a terrible person and not just dumb, then feel free to enlighten me.
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Post by Snappppppppppppp on Aug 26, 2017 7:04:25 GMT -5
It's hard to try to be sad about people who don't deserve it. To me if you were awful alive, no reason for me to mourn your death. There was a boy who was killed in a car accident because him and his friends were drinking. He was not a good kid. He drank, did drugs, and Got in legal trouble all the time. His mother keeps trying to defend his death and say that her innocent son was taken too soon. she even got mad that somebody put a lighter in his casket, even though I'm sure that is something he probably would have liked. uh
drinking and taking drugs really doesn't justify someone's death
it doesn't make you a bad person, just a stupid one. He's not innocent, but he doesn't seem all that bad to me. However I don't know the full story, so if he actually was a terrible person and not just dumb, then feel free to enlighten me.
I feel very strongly about drunk drivers. Having known people who have been killed by them, it's a touchy subject to me. If you drink and decide to drive, I think your death is completely Justified. he died last year, so it's not like he had never heard that drinking and driving was bad. Thankfully they hit a wall of some kind and that is what killed him, he didn't hit somebody else. If somebody decides to drive while intoxicated or under some kind of influence, I hope they get killed before they kill somebody else.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2017 12:22:06 GMT -5
slightly unrelated but still pertains my best friend in 6th grade was a kid i called sky. he was a really sweet kid, and a total nerd. over the summer between 6th and 7th grade, he found out he had cancer, and right before the beginning of 7th grade he passed away. when he was alive, a lot of people bullied him and made fun of him, some just didnt want anything to do with him, and he had very few true friends. after he passed, everyone who bullied him acted like they were his best friend when he was alive, and that they knew everything about him, all that. hell, writing about how they acted still makes me upset, three years later. just... i dont know.
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