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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 19, 2017 21:19:48 GMT -5
im so tired of always somehow being the one left as an outcast
everywhere i go, no matter what i do, im always friendless "college will be different," everyone promised. "everyone's new so they're all in the same boat!" yet within 1 day everyone's already in cliques acting like they've known each other for years i keep looking for others like me who are alone but i cant find any i dont know what to do i dont know why im saying this on a cat forum i am just so tired emotionally of playing this social game and constantly feeling like im intruding on other friendships or unwanted in general what is it about me that people hate so much? "you're very likeable," my family assures me. "it's not you." then what? it's just been every peer i've ever met over the past 5 years?
the same thing happened on my summer italy program. everyone was new. i tried, i really did. i put myself out there. i tired starting conversations. but somehow the people who were a lot quieter and shyer than me still ended up will friends. the program ended and everyone was talking about how much they were gonna miss X and Y, and exchanging candid photos. but not with me. because nobody wanted to be my friend. im always forever stuck as the "acquaintance."
im tired. im so tired of this after so long seeing this repeat. and now seeing it happening all over again with college...i was so stupid to think it'd be different
im just tired. so tired of being alone all the time.
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Post by Saint Ambrosef on Aug 19, 2017 23:09:47 GMT -5
Sometimes college is different, but any friendships made usually don't last. That's what I'm starting to realize as I'm soon to start my 5th semester of college. If you can't find friends, at least you have me? (Very reassuring, I know) idk i guess what gets me is like the disconnect between what i'm told and the evidence that occurs? like my family are all very adamant that i'm a likeable person. which probably sounds absurd to a lot of people here but like. im a lot more serious and unfriendly online than irl. so i guess this confidence like "oh yeah im likeable, if i just talk people will want to get to know me" but it just never happens, y'know? nobody ever seems to give me a chance. so it's deflating after being brought up so high by expectations. it just really makes me doubt myself and my personality.
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Post by Redfleck on Aug 19, 2017 23:16:43 GMT -5
I have a feeling that you have really bad luck.
If it makes you feel any better, I doubt any of those camp friendships lasts longer than how long the camp is. After they meet up and split apart, the connection's lost. From experience, I've made friends at school in most of my classes; all you gotta do is talk to them often enough and they'll talk to you back. Then after the year is over, the friendship is over. And in camp, I'll befriend people, get their contact information, and then just never use it. It's probably the same with other people.
I mean, I could be wrong, but that's just how I've seen things play out on my end. I'm sure there's a few who've met their husbands/wives at camps, but that's definitely not the majority.
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Post by Snappppppppppppp on Aug 20, 2017 0:48:02 GMT -5
I found a small handful of friends in college because I sat with a few awkward people at lunch because I had no one else to sit with. It was the most awkward thing ever but it just continued as a cycle for a while of picking them to sit with at lunch because I was slightly familiar with them and having super awkward conversations with them until we finally hung out outside of the lunchroom.
One of those people became my best friend in the whole world wide world for two years before she left us for her girlfriend. The others are still cool though.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2017 6:46:15 GMT -5
I've got a similar problem to this, but for me it's that I keep making friends and then they leave me
Back in high school, I was best friends with this guy who was in every single class with me. We had a ton of good laughs/times together, to the point that when we were about to graduate, we kinda fell in love (ok, I fell for him first), and proceeded to date for the next two years. But then, we had a super messy breakup, and now that we've both moved on, I haven't really heard from him since (even though I reassured him that I'm no longer angry/we can be friends again)
Then university came. I made fast friends with a girl who lived upstairs from my dorm room. She was just so easy to get along with, and we seemed to have a ton of common ground. I was excited, because I hadn't really had that close of a female friend in a LONG time. It just felt so reassuring to have that one friend you could go to for anything, no matter how cumbersome, and in all honesty we were going to be each orher's maids of honour at our weddings and everything. She was also the first person I came out to at uni. But in second year, she decided she'd be better off hanging out with a more popular crowd. She gradually started ignoring me, and then by third year she'd moved back to her hometown/dropped out of university altogether
Then in my second year, I made friends with another girl in my theatre group/we soon found out we had some classes together as well. She's definitely one of those people who you can be playfully sarcastic and sassy with. And I really needed that, because I've never been good at that kind of bantering back and forth. We used to get together and run our lines together, play board games, and watch those random YouTube 3-minute food-prep videos. But she too, went through some personal stuff and ended up moving back to her hometown/switching schools
I'm about to go into my fourth year and honestly I'm getting so sick and tired of this pattern it's hard to even let people in anymore
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