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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 21:28:00 GMT -5
OOC So a few months ago, my sister got a boyfriend. She doesn't know I'm aro/ace, and constantly I hear things like I should date and whatever.
However today has been another one of those "Sis, why?" Days.
So we get the usual: "We need to find S'more a guy, she needs a man in her life," and the "So S'more, what do you find attractive in someone?"
And me, being all like... "Uh, nothing." But I can't say that so I just list what I find aesthetically pleasing about someone.
However then, her boyfriend says this, and I just have to roll my eyes.
"She needs a good man to complete her life." - S'more's sister's boyfriend.
And I'm just like...Yeah how about no?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2017 21:31:14 GMT -5
that behavior would be wrong regardless of if you're aro/ace or not. like. the idea anyone needs another person to complete their life is wrong
have you like tried telling them you're happy how you are
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 21:32:53 GMT -5
that behavior would be wrong regardless of if you're aro/ace or not. like. the idea anyone needs another person to complete their life is wrong have you like tried telling them you're happy how you are OOC Yeah. Many, many, many times. However apparently, me being happy on my own is not an acceptable answer. My sister once tried to actually set me up with a guy cause she thought she knew for a fact that I was secretly lonely and I'm just like...no, stop, pls.
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#a3c5e6
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𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Aug 16, 2017 21:37:54 GMT -5
My family is the same way sometimes. It's really annoying. What's more annoying is how they just automatically assume I'm straight even though I'm still not 100% sure myself (right now, I'm almost sure I'm lesbian, but I don't want to rule out the possibility of being bisexual just yet).
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 21:40:23 GMT -5
My family is the same way sometimes. It's really annoying. What's more annoying is how they just automatically assume I'm straight even though I'm still not 100% sure myself (right now, I'm almost sure I'm lesbian, but I don't want to rule out the possibility of being bisexual just yet). OOC Tbh it's not my entire family, just the older sister and extended family. My dad doesn't really care, my mom is super chill and activity encourages me to just do what makes me happy, and my younger siblings don't care.
But yeah, for the most part it's just easier to answer with stuff like: "Ehhh, Idk, I'm happy with my dog," stuff like that.
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#a3c5e6
Name Colour
𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵
Warrior Fanatic
All hail me, the flower-flushing queen of Prague
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Post by 𝓣𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓵 on Aug 16, 2017 21:42:44 GMT -5
My family is the same way sometimes. It's really annoying. What's more annoying is how they just automatically assume I'm straight even though I'm still not 100% sure myself (right now, I'm almost sure I'm lesbian, but I don't want to rule out the possibility of being bisexual just yet). OOC Tbh it's not my entire family, just the older sister and extended family. My dad doesn't really care, my mom is super chill and activity encourages me to just do what makes me happy, and my younger siblings don't care.
But yeah, for the most part it's just easier to answer with stuff like: "Ehhh, Idk, I'm happy with my dog," stuff like that.
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Exactly! It's mostly my older relatives who are like that, but still... Honestly, at the end of the day, just give me a dog or even a cat and I'm happy for life.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 21:47:02 GMT -5
OOC Tbh it's not my entire family, just the older sister and extended family. My dad doesn't really care, my mom is super chill and activity encourages me to just do what makes me happy, and my younger siblings don't care.
But yeah, for the most part it's just easier to answer with stuff like: "Ehhh, Idk, I'm happy with my dog," stuff like that.
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Exactly! It's mostly my older relatives who are like that, but still... Honestly, at the end of the day, just give me a dog or even a cat and I'm happy for life. OOC Dude same.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 21:48:15 GMT -5
What your sisters boyfriend said is just... ewwww thats not right. Also I know theres probs a lot of pressure to date because I've noticed thats how our state is so I'm sorry for that if you've experienced that friend OOC Yeah. He's a nice guy but also sort of just...yeah okay dude, whatever you say.
There is, and I still haven't gone on a date yet and I'm very happy without them.
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Post by tiger beetle on Aug 16, 2017 21:55:05 GMT -5
that's really creepy I'm sorry
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Post by Redfleck on Aug 16, 2017 22:09:42 GMT -5
My mom's the same way. She tells me about how I'll grow up to have children and be married happily (and heteronormatively....) Just. Gah. And she can't even argue why, just that it's supposed to be some universal truth or some crap. I've considered marrying my best friend and adopting children (or actually having them, but the thought is weird) just to satisfy, haha.
Honestly, the best way to go about this is just to agree and echo. If it's clear she won't change her mind, then you have to see things from their POV; she might've felt unhappy being alone, and her whole life-perspective has just been opened up. Maybe she couldn't trust her friends with emotional intimacy, and having someone there for her, always, is just so relaxing and amazing for her. She's seventeen years old, so maybe she's just talking about the sexual aspect as well (I know, gross lol). And obviously, since she's young, she's feeling "in love" and she's probably just high off that too. In her mind, it literally makes no sense that aro/ace people can exist.
Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean that aro/ace people don't exist. She's wrong in that respect. But maybe she's just surprised and weirded out that you don't want to be in a relationship, when it all seems second nature to her. She's seventeen—though she's older than you, everyone has their flaws and hers are being inflexible.
Haha, a book is a book. I don't know why I wrote all that, but I'd rather post this than delete it. (This post comes from a person living with Trump supporters for parents..... blaming poor people for being poor, racist despite Asian-Americans, and LGBT-phobic)
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Bisexual
#e0a8ff
Name Colour
🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃
THIS IS THE THRILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRR, THRILLLERRRRR NIIIIIGHHHHTTTT 🎃
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Post by 🎃❅❖.Şp໐໐kฯຟiຖ໓.❖❅🎃 on Aug 16, 2017 22:16:33 GMT -5
Bad news bears right there.
You don't need someone to complete your life. You just need you.
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Post by Alpha on Aug 16, 2017 22:38:25 GMT -5
When she asks you those questions again, describe air.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 22:43:50 GMT -5
Yeah, I understand that. I've definitely know people who are like that, like really nice but then say things along those lines.. Honestly good for you girl OOC Yeah.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 22:44:22 GMT -5
that's really creepy I'm sorry OOC Eh it's not too bad, but sometimes I'm just like...I am so not in the mood to deal with this.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 22:44:58 GMT -5
My mom's the same way. She tells me about how I'll grow up to have children and be married happily (and heteronormatively....) Just. Gah. And she can't even argue why, just that it's supposed to be some universal truth or some crap. I've considered marrying my best friend and adopting children (or actually having them, but the thought is weird) just to satisfy, haha. Honestly, the best way to go about this is just to agree and echo. If it's clear she won't change her mind, then you have to see things from their POV; she might've felt unhappy being alone, and her whole life-perspective has just been opened up. Maybe she couldn't trust her friends with emotional intimacy, and having someone there for her, always, is just so relaxing and amazing for her. She's seventeen years old, so maybe she's just talking about the sexual aspect as well (I know, gross lol). And obviously, since she's young, she's feeling "in love" and she's probably just high off that too. In her mind, it literally makes no sense that aro/ace people can exist. Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean that aro/ace people don't exist. She's wrong in that respect. But maybe she's just surprised and weirded out that you don't want to be in a relationship, when it all seems second nature to her. She's seventeen—though she's older than you, everyone has their flaws and hers are being inflexible. Haha, a book is a book. I don't know why I wrote all that, but I'd rather post this than delete it. (This post comes from a person living with Trump supporters for parents..... blaming poor people for being poor, racist despite Asian-Americans, and LGBT-phobic) OOC She's actually 18, almost 19, but otherwise, accurate.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 22:45:22 GMT -5
Bad news bears right there. You don't need someone to complete your life. You just need you. OOC Exactly.
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Post by 𝕊’𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 on Aug 16, 2017 22:45:46 GMT -5
When she asks you those questions again, describe air. OOC Sounds like a plan.
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Post by ℜust ℜed ℜose on Aug 17, 2017 0:25:13 GMT -5
People don't always understand being ace/aro, and it's frustrating as hell. The best way to deal with it is to explain it to them.
So when they hit me with the "but you'll be lonely," I explain it like this;
Straight people are attracted to the opposite gender, and gay people are attracted to the same. I am attracted to neither, and I don't want or need to pick one. If I were to have a relationship, I would have to pick a man or a woman (going into other genders will confuse these kinds of people. Keep it simple) and I can't imagine a future with either.
Telling me to pick is like asking who you would date if you had to date someone of the same gender; sure, you could pick if you were forced to, but it's awkward, it doesn't feel right, and is ultimately not what you stand for. You wouldn't want a sexuality forced on you, and I don't want a relationship forced on me.
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